what happens if a friend or relative finds out about ones abdl side

[herb330]

For us it is sometimes hard and difficult to keep the abdl secretive.  What happens if a friend or partner finds out about it.  Do you try to explain to them to just ignore it.

[Snugglebear_69]

Both my Wife and Daddy/Boyfriend were told early on when we started dating. I didn't want to lie to them so I was open, honest and upfront. As for friends, some know, those who spend a lot of time at our house as we don't want to have to hide things everytime someone comes over and other friends don't need to know so they don't. 

It's just never come up as an issue.

[Little Sherri]

That's potentially a complicated scenario, and one that I have contemplated. My wife *sort of* knows about my ABDL side; she knows I've been wearing diapers 24/7 for the last 3 years, and I rotate back and forth between printed and white, so she's seen me wearing both plain "medical-looking" diapers, and ones emblazoned with cartoon characters, or designed to look like big Pampers, for example. I've also been sleeping with a pacifier for about the same period of time. However, I'm not sure that she knows the term "ABDL", so, she knows that I'm "something" in that regard, but I'm not sure if she has a vocabulary for it. Other than that, I'm not overtly "AB" - the t-shirt onesies I own are all sober black or white affairs worn for practical reasons, not because they look "little". I have a couple of pairs of onesie pajamas, but they're grey, and she was the one who bought them for me. If I started wearing rompers or shortalls with snap crotches or onesies with juvenile prints, that might be a bridge too far for her. 

It would be exceedingly difficult to keep "this" out of site of your spouse or partner for an extended period of time, particularly if you plan to always wear diapers, as I do. Presumably most of our spouses or long-term partners are likely going to be aware of a raft of potentially sensitive personal details about us, such as our medical histories, our finances, details about our childhoods and families, etc. So, anyone contemplating living out some of their ABDL-themed desires should probably just plan to have to reveal it to their partner at some point, and if they don't think they can do that, they may be with the wrong person. 

Friends are another matter entirely. I am fortunate to have some very good, long-time friends, and we know a lot about each other's lives - financial information in some cases, medical information we've chosen to share, job and family details that we allow our "circles of trust" to be aware of. We have keys to each other's houses and look after pets and plants for each other when we travel. We've all had each other's kids stay over. However, I don't know much of anything about any of their boudoir preferences, and I'm fine with that. If one of my buddies likes to wear lederhosen and get spanked, God bless them, but that is information that I don't need to have residing in my skull. So I assume they have more or less the same philosophy about finding out I dress like a toddler under my jeans. 

I'm very careful about keeping things under wraps, and I have no desire to have to explain anything about this to anyone, but if someone does ever notice I'm wearing a diaper, I'm planning to lean into a medical explanation for it, rather than inviting them to go research what "ABDL" means. I don't think that their line of inquiry on the topic would go much further than that, because I'm not likely to find myself inadvertently wearing ruffled plastic pants and a bonnet in front of any of them, and they're very polite people, so saying "Yeah, I have to wear diapers now, ain't aging a bitch?" would presumably suffice. If they were, say, helping me move things around in the basement, and a big box of printed diapers fell off a shelf and broke open, I guess I'd say that they were on sale, and yes, they look ridiculous, but for half the price, I don't care - all I'm doing is throwing them out anyway?

I have dealt with a situation recently that I'd hoped to avoid, on this topic. I'll probably delve into explaining it on my own thread, as I've already gotten long-winded here and I would need a couple of additional pages to even get into it, but suffice to say that I found out that someone close to me has noticed that I wear diapers, and, I did exactly what I described above - I leaned into a medical explanation, which they seemed to accept. 

Bottom line: if you're going to live this way, plan ahead for the possibility that someone might notice something. If you can't contend with that possibility, then you might want to see if model trains or falconry are more to your liking...

[ValentinesStuff]

3 hours ago, herb330 said:

For us it is sometimes hard and difficult to keep the abdl secretive.  What happens if a friend or partner finds out about it.  Do you try to explain to them to just ignore it.

While I suspect that some members of my family know, none have ever brought it up, so neither do I.

[WBxx]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

Bottom line: if you're going to live this way, plan ahead for the possibility that someone might notice something. If you can't contend with that possibility, then you might want to see if model trains or falconry are more to your liking...

I could deal with someone noticing something.  My concern is what would happen if my wife and I suddenly passed.  Or wife goes first and I live alone till my time comes.  Somebody, mainly my daughter, will have to go through and dispose of my stuff.  Think it will be obvious dear old dad was into something outside the norm.  Not the legacy I want to leave, but don’t have a viable solution.

[Kawaharu]

Well for me being incontinent, it's no secret in my family that they know I am diapered and i'm kept in diapers. Many in my family and friends knows I am kept in diapers and they know I wear diapers for medical reasons.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

It depends

If you let it out willingly then nothing. They might look at you a bit strangely or be a bit distant or even disassociate from you, but it was your own willing doing

If you did not want it known but it got out then that could be from two reasons
1 You either screwed up or did not take care of business. If you do not want it out there, then you almost have to be a bit OCD and paranoid There could be any number of consequences ranging from "no big deal" to a complete break
2. You were unwillingly found out b y either a snoop or someone just bullied you. This is an issue of boundaries. If someone did that to me, they would have proven to be untrustworthy and that would be an immediate break to start with. This could get to be pretty ugly as it may lead to being doxed, blackmailed or assaulteed. Some of these are police matters. Generally, such persons are pretty crappy and should soon end up ostracized because they are doing the same kind of thing to others

If what happened was the resutl of the latter, then I would recommend you re-evaluate your dealings with said individual. You notice there are no identifiable pictures of me here and I use an email specific to here by a major email provider so I can be lost in the crowd

[Little Sherri]

1 hour ago, WBxx said:

Not the legacy I want to leave, but don’t have a viable solution.

I'm in my 40's so I haven't really thought much about the "what if I drop dead" question. Unless my wife and I die in a plane crash or a car accident or something, presumably she would be around to contend with the aftermath of my untimely passing. If I find out I have some kind of terminal condition, I guess I'll have some time to divest myself of my inventory. If it happens suddenly, then I kind of think that it's probably the last thing I would be worrying about in those final moments, anyway - my wearing diapers doesn't hurt anyone. It's a bit weird by conventional standards, but it's not like having a silicone sex sheep. I suppose you could rent a storage locker under an assumed name and keep everything there, and then if you die, it would become the property of the storage provider eventually, and your next of kin wouldn't have to deal with it? 

[rusty pins]

My thoughts.  If you are like me and are way in the closet not wanting anyone to know, you are extremely cautious so no one does find out.  I don't have Twitter or Facebook and if I post any pictures here on Daily Diapers I make sure to crop out any face or anything familiar including background if necessary.  All doors locked and pants handy the few times a month I have the house to myself and wear just diapers.  All supplies stashed away where only I can get at them.

There are always some risks.  The few trips a year when I go Christmas shopping or out of town wearing a thick diaper under my jeans.  I could get in a serious car accident and end up in the hospital, likewise have a heart attack and also end up in the hospital.  You try and take extra care to minimize that by driving as safe as possible and being as vigilant of cars and people around you.  Assuring yourself that when done with diapers everything is put away, the place is cleaned up and nothing left out my mistake for someone to come across.

If you don't take the extra pains to be careful that your stuff isn't found and that no one discovers you like diapers, then you probably don't really care that much if people do eventually find out.

I agree if I dropped dead suddenly, family members (not that I have any except a brother and some cousins) would find my stuff cleaning out my bedroom and I would feel bad about it, but when I'm dead would I really care?  I'm almost 64 and people know I have some health issues.  Incontinence isn't something you tell the friends and relatives like you would a heart condition or other medical situation.  I hope to live another 10 to 15 years and if I drop dead, finding a closet full of diapers wouldn't be a natural conclusion that I like to wear them or have a diaper fetish!  Old people often have bladder problems.  Heck, young people have them too!  I'm not AB and have no AB stuff around, just my diapers.  Even so, people tend to remember the good about a person and while it might mar their memory of you a bit, overall would it make them think bad about you?  Everyone has their secrets of some kind or another.

By the way, my old friend Babylin who was a member here used to go fishing with me in my boats in summer and we talked a little about this very situation.  He had cancer that was in check but eventually got worse over time.  We talked two weeks before he passed about going out to lunch.  I didn't even know he had passed for 6 months but suspected something when I go no response to any more emails.  I'm not sure he even knew he would pass that quickly.  It's been close to 4 years now and we agreed that his wife and even adult son probably knew about his diapers but just never said anything. He told me months before he passed (when his blood cell count was off) that his adult son asked him one day if "he had anything he wanted his son to get rid of when he passed".  That told us that yeah, they knew although maybe not quite the full extent of things.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I go you one better: I DO NOT wear out AT ALL. I do not need it THAT badly. If I get found out, it is not going to be my own fault. Nature sides with the hidden flaw. If I can even IMAGINE something going wrong, even if it cannot, something else, to which I will have left myself open, will

[le Hollandais]

I've thought about others finding my stash of diapers and plastic pants after I've gone. I don't think I'll mind, as I'm sure I'll be in quite a happy place. I do my best to keep everything cleaned up and put away. And I've only padded up once away from home, because I knew there'd be no place to take a leak discreetly.

[eatenbywo1ves]

Depends on friends and family.

My experience has been, having had two family members walk in on me on separate occasions.

John has most likely talked about it with a lot of other people, it's whatever as he is still like a brother to me and love him.

Aunt Di, never brought it up but we know what happened. I am sure she says prayer specifically about it everyday amongst the other prayers she does every day.

Mom found tons evidence when I was in high school and living at home on/off in my 20's. She thinks I am weird, like what did she think was going to happen threatening to put me in diapers if I acted like a "baby" during preschool/Montessori lol.

[feralfreak]

i got 2 friends that know i got a thing for diapers, one that might have some idea i like bottles, but their response is "to each their own", some of my family knows i have diapers, and have teddy bears, so does a friend of the family that thinks of me as a sarogate offspring(calls me her "2nd son" and calls herself the "2nd momma", and thinks of mom as her sister from another mother), she knows about my diapers and cuddlies, but none know i got a paw patrol bottle(2.12 at a dollar store), mom knows i have a bunch of baby bottles but that is because there was ton of them when we got here, we kept some because i got a thing for containers