wearing in public Wearing a diaper to bed and living as a DL discreetly

[Dl4138]

Ok this is a two parter: 

First, if you are laying in bed in a diaper, is it normal to have to pee badly despite just going before getting in bed. I like to fall asleep watching YouTube or TV and every time I hop into bed, even if I just peed before then, I feel like I gotta go badly (even though sometimes when feeling that, I can’t go). Just want to be able to lay in bed in a diaper watching tv without feeling like I gotta pee and not being able to go.

second part is, as much as I try to resist it, I like wearing and going in diapers. How does someone move about the world wearing diapers without feeling like people know/are looking at you. I get very self conscious going out somewhere wearing a diaper and feel embarrassed if I wet myself while out. I eventually want to wear them 24/7 as my boyfriend knows and is fine with me in diapers and I want to lose control and go when ever as I hate having to make myself pee when I gotta go. Anyone else ever feel like that and do you have any suggestions?

[Dartplayerinwvc]

ignore them - people are caught up in their BS before yours

[Deedra]

You will get used to going out in public. Nobody will even notice unless they are wearing one to and know what to look for. I never changed how I dress just because I was diapers. I still wear wrangler jeans the same size I wore before and I've never had an issue. Most of it is in our heads and we think it shows when it really doesn't. 

[Dl4138]

1 minute ago, Gavin S said:

You will get used to going out in public. Nobody will even notice unless they are wearing one to and know what to look for. I never changed how I dress just because I was diapers. I still wear wrangler jeans the same size I wore before and I've never had an issue. Most of it is in our heads and we think it shows when it really doesn't. 

True, I’ve just always been self conscious about myself. That’s why I keep jumping back and forth about wearing diapers. I really like wearing them and using them but then I worry what others would think

[Deedra]

Don't worry about what others think. If you enjoy it and it makes you happy then do it. I've wasted a lot of years not doing what I like and I'll tell you that life is too valuable to waste worrying. Live life to the fullest and have fun!!

 

[Young1]

Baby steps just mind what your doing i go out all the time amd think people are looking but i just continue about my day and wetting in public is fun! Its just thrilling peeing in your diaper amd no one else knows 

Over time you will get used to the feeling of wearing all the time you wont even notice that your wearing anymore at least thats how it feels for me 

[spark]

Both of those will come with time.   For me, I rarely have the urge to pee badly, and only when I'm not diapered.   While diapered, I just pee before i get to that point.   That could be caused because diapers are given you an elevated feeling.   When you are in diapers you are thinking "I'm going to pee in this diaper."    That feeling likely stays as long as diapers are a play item.

For the last time: nobody cares.  We think everybody is watching us, and everything we do is on display.  Unless it is very obvious, nobody will notice that you are diapered.   Let's put it this way: how often do you peer at stranger's underwear?   How would you react if you saw a stranger wearing a diaper?

[KyleABDL]

For laying in bed, start with a head and neck up position, sitting on the edge if you can. then move slightly closer to laying down. break the motion up into intermediate positions from sitting, into laying horiziontally. i know it sounds cliche, but it does take practice, and thankfully after the first or second time it becomes MUCH easier.

in public it gets monumentally easier when you accept that only a gigantic butthead would say anything nasty to someone who potentially needs diapers.

(and even then, why would you care what a person who makes fun of someone in diapers thinks?)

secondly only someone genuinely caring and trying to help you would say "um excuse me your diaper is showing."

third the only other possibility is to meet another YOU and those odds are (please go buy me a lotto ticket)

so out of 5000 people, which is A LOT, maybe 3 would notice. and of those 3, they choose to keep their mouth shut out of respect.

so keep your head high, be modest about your wearing, and youre pretty much immune to any negativity because of it.

people really do assume medical need first and foremost unless you tell them otherwise.

[Little Sherri]

I've been 24/7 for just over two years, and I gradually evolved from only wearing slim, cloth-backed, low-capacity diapers whenever I was around other people, to being able to wear decent ABDL diapers everywhere I go. Just as many other comments here have suggested, you eventually figure out that almost nobody pays any attention to your underpants, be they conventional, or juvenile. If you dress intelligently, you won't have any issues, and you will quickly become comfortable in your skin. One thing I did was up-size my pants and shorts wardrobe by one size, once I decided that life was too short not to wear good diapers, and I stopped wearing crappy store-bought diapers. I also added a bunch of t-shirt style onesies (sometimes called diaper shirts) to my inventory, because they allow me to squat and bend over and tie my shoes or install flooring or whatever, and not worry about if my diaper is sticking up at the back. I bought mine in black because printed diapers can show through white ones. 

In two years of wearing, I only have two confirmed cases of anyone ever noticing - once in a Home Depot, when I was bending over looking at a low shelf (this is before I bought the onesies), and an old guy actually commented on the brand of diaper I was wearing. So, as @KyleABDL just alluded to, he was the 1 in 5000 who was also an ABDL - he recognized a Rearz Lil' Monster by seeing 1 inch of it or whatever. And his comment was that he preferred Safari's. Which meant that he was "one of us" and had diaper radar that most people don't. The other time was just last weekend when I went for a medical scan and was given a gown that was literally made out of paper. Yeah, everyone could see my diaper (a Rearz Elite - I had gone with a plain white one, thankfully). I was a bit taken aback when one of the attendants rushed over with another gown for me to put on - you might even say panicked. I had put the gown on in a nearly-dark changing cubicle and only once I emerged into the waiting room into the harsh fluorescents did it become obvious that I was wearing transparent tissue paper. But even then, really, other than a red face behind my mask, there were no repercussions - I got a quizzical stare from an old guy, another patient, but the staff all seemed sympathetic and far from shocked, other than that I was maybe a little young to fit the typical profile for "guy who wears diapers". But I got through it.  

If you want to go 24/7, you can. There are a bunch of us here who are living proof of that. I'm not going to say that it's all a diapered walk in the park - you will have leaks, you will have frustrations, you will have moments of self-doubt, and you will have to become a bit more of a planner - but if you want to do it, you can, I assure you. 

Also, if you already have a partner who is cool with it, you are way, way ahead of the game. I had to ambush my wife of 17 years with the fact that I was going to be wearing baby's underwear full-time, and that there was going to be a diaper pail in the walk-in closet, cases of diapers in the basement, and onesies in the laundry. It could have gone much worse than it did!

[spark]

3 hours ago, KyleABDL said:

 

so out of 5000 people, which is A LOT, maybe 3 would notice. and of those 3, they choose to keep their mouth shut out of respect.

so keep your head high, be modest about your wearing, and youre pretty much immune to any negativity because of it.

people really do assume medical need first and foremost unless you tell them otherwise.

The only people who really matter are close friends and family, and family.   It's not ridicule, but concern for my health.  I'm sure the question would be "Why?" and "Have you told your doctor?"   At this point, I'd probably deflect, and they would sense I'm uncomfortable with the discussion.   To be honest, I don't think any family member/friend would ever ask "Why are you wearing a diaper?"   They might notice and asked a coded message, but not direct unless I bring it up. 

My housekeeper knows, and has never said anything.  It's this strange game we play- she knows they are there, but knows that I'm trying to discretely keep them from her.  She lets me believe she hasn't seen them (even though she has put away my onesie and pacifiers), and I get to pretend that she doesn't know.   Both of us are happy with the dysfunction.

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

I've been 24/7 for just over two years, and I gradually evolved from only wearing slim, cloth-backed, low-capacity diapers whenever I was around other people, to being able to wear decent ABDL diapers everywhere I go. Just as many other comments here have suggested, you eventually figure out that almost nobody pays any attention to your underpants, be they conventional, or juvenile. If you dress intelligently, you won't have any issues, and you will quickly become comfortable in your skin. One thing I did was up-size my pants and shorts wardrobe by one size, once I decided that life was too short not to wear good diapers, and I stopped wearing crappy store-bought diapers. I also added a bunch of t-shirt style onesies (sometimes called diaper shirts) to my inventory, because they allow me to squat and bend over and tie my shoes or install flooring or whatever, and not worry about if my diaper is sticking up at the back. I bought mine in black because printed diapers can show through white ones. 

In two years of wearing, I only have two confirmed cases of anyone ever noticing - once in a Home Depot, when I was bending over looking at a low shelf (this is before I bought the onesies), and an old guy actually commented on the brand of diaper I was wearing. So, as @KyleABDL just alluded to, he was the 1 in 5000 who was also an ABDL - he recognized a Rearz Lil' Monster by seeing 1 inch of it or whatever. And his comment was that he preferred Safari's. Which meant that he was "one of us" and had diaper radar that most people don't. The other time was just last weekend when I went for a medical scan and was given a gown that was literally made out of paper. Yeah, everyone could see my diaper (a Rearz Elite - I had gone with a plain white one, thankfully). I was a bit taken aback when one of the attendants rushed over with another gown for me to put on - you might even say panicked. I had put the gown on in a nearly-dark changing cubicle and only once I emerged into the waiting room into the harsh fluorescents did it become obvious that I was wearing transparent tissue paper. But even then, really, other than a red face behind my mask, there were no repercussions - I got a quizzical stare from an old guy, another patient, but the staff all seemed sympathetic and far from shocked, other than that I was maybe a little young to fit the typical profile for "guy who wears diapers". But I got through it.  

Your story about the doctor's visit was interesting (and horrifying in a minor way).   I wear diapers to an infusion clinic (also oncology)and I know they have seen adults in diapers.  I also wear when I go to my Opthamologist (BTW- it's not good to have a personal Opthamologist), but she is only interested in my eyes.   The infusion clinic only wants my blood.   I don't wear when I go to my PCP, but I'm at an age when he is interested in what is happening on both ends down there.    I want him to check, and out of respect i don't want him to think there is something going that isn't.

 

[vvp39]

"Both of us are happy with the dysfunction."
I would say deflection, since it's clearly not a dysfunction if it's working....

[Little Sherri]

22 hours ago, spark said:

 I don't wear when I go to my PCP, but I'm at an age when he is interested in what is happening on both ends down there.    I want him to check, and out of respect i don't want him to think there is something going that isn't.

This is something I'm wrestling with a bit, because my PCP is a guy I've been going to since I was in my late teens, who is as old as the hills. He's a great doctor, but he's known me all my life, and if I showed up in a nappy, he'd have a lot of questions. I want to avoid all that awkwardness. I did wear a diaper the last couple of times I had an appointment with him, but, I knew that it would not be a "pants down" appointment. I have worn diapers to a couple of other medical appointments, but only with specialists who don't know me and whom I won't see much of, and so far, it's never been on the radar - it hasn't involved anything in that vicinity. My plan right now is to wait until my doctor retires, which I imagine will be sometime in the next 5 years or so, and then to establish a relationship with a new doctor, and to just be open with them (somewhat) and say that I've had urge incontinence for years, nothing to be done about it, I wear protection, next topic.... so that from thence forth, I can wear diapers to appointments and not worry about it. My medical records do already note that I wore diapers well into my childhood for bedwetting, although I suspect that not many doctors would delve that deeply into someone's ancient medical history. 

[Clothdiaperman]

On 6/4/2021 at 11:46 AM, Dl4138 said:

Ok this is a two parter: 

First, if you are laying in bed in a diaper, is it normal to have to pee badly despite just going before getting in bed. I like to fall asleep watching YouTube or TV and every time I hop into bed, even if I just peed before then, I feel like I gotta go badly (even though sometimes when feeling that, I can’t go). Just want to be able to lay in bed in a diaper watching tv without feeling like I gotta pee and not being able to go.

second part is, as much as I try to resist it, I like wearing and going in diapers. How does someone move about the world wearing diapers without feeling like people know/are looking at you. I get very self conscious going out somewhere wearing a diaper and feel embarrassed if I wet myself while out. I eventually want to wear them 24/7 as my boyfriend knows and is fine with me in diapers and I want to lose control and go when ever as I hate having to make myself pee when I gotta go. Anyone else ever feel like that and do you have any suggestions?

I wish I had your courage. I love wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants. I want to wear them in public but I am nervous about wearing outside my home.  How do you handle family and people, that would give you grieve  for wearing diapers in public? How did you come out honestly with the fact you wear diapers with these same people?

[spark]

6 hours ago, vvp39 said:

"Both of us are happy with the dysfunction."
I would say deflection, since it's clearly not a dysfunction if it's working....

That could well be

  It could just be me deflecting, and she doesn't even think it's something to notice.  She's been a housekeeper for many years.

[oznl]

1.       It’s just practice.  There’s no physiological reason for it.  You might be able to transition to this trick progressively by following advice similar to @KyleABDL's.  Another trick I've heard that has worked is to visualise yourself laying in a warm bath instead of bed.  You might also try being a bit wet before you get into bed.  This “lowers the bar” a bit as you’re wet anyway.  I know people who have struggled with this but acquired the ability through practice. 

2.       Just do it.  Providing you are halfway sensible, people seriously will not notice.  I’ve been in nappies for two and a half years.  I do not believe I've EVER been spotted.  Not even my partner can easily tell (unless I’m in a bulky cloth nappy).  Loose, dark clothing, overhanging t-shirts, compression pants will help but you may not even need that.  I’ve been out with other DLs and I’ve been surprised myself how hard it is to tell even though I know they are wearing nappies.  Nobody is going to notice a wet nappy under plastic pants and clothing (don't assume the same for messy ones though!).  Best to go little and often (after a while this will become automatic) as it minimises leak risk.  Just be consistent.  If you are heavily diapered one day and not the next, perhaps that might raise a flag.  I went into diapers over a Christmas break.  I returned to work in January 2019 in nappies and stayed there until COVID ate my job in December 2020.

[DiaperJoy69]

In general, people are more concerned about what is happening to them or their surrounds than they are in checking out your bottom (or front) in order to determine if you wearing a diaper or pullup. Just on that basis alone should give you the freedom to wear with pride as you go about your daily business, no matter where you are. And if you feel the need to wet, just simply smile and do so. Naturally wearing a good quality diaper cover/panties will certainly give you the confidence to wet while taking care of some shopping chore, or even waiting in line to speak to an employee at the bank. 

To take it even one step further, those that work in a hospital setting or doctor's office setting care not a wit whether you are wearing for pleasure or for need. They are there to take care of whatever medical need that you have and will even assist you in making certain you have a fresh diaper/pullup if the need comes about.

So, just smile, relax and fully enjoy the pleasures of wearing and wetting.

[Three Rivers]

Like others have stated several times, just go about your life. I have worn outside the house several times and have been just feet from the neighbor while wetting my diaper. I think if you have the right clothes you can do whatever you want. I used to be paranoid about the diaper rustle/sounds. But nobody has ever heard me. Best of luck with your adventures. 

[babywolf55]

acctuttly there is one more way too. my dad doesn't wear diappers at this point of his life. he noticed a few weeks ago a i must of spelled it wrong it was a older lady who could hardly walk was wearing a diaper. he didn't see it,but could tell by thw way her clouths bulged out. if the person doesn't dress the right way it can be noticed. Like others said though don't worry about what others think of it in public. espaissley if your loved one completly understands.

[Dartplayerinwvc]

3 hours ago, babywolf55 said:

acctuttly  diappers  eldy  it,but thw clouths  espaissley  completly ...........What?

 

[Moochie]

I wear and wet my diapers at work all the time. I work in a professional setting with casual to business casual dress. I use several drops of a baby powder scented oil in my diaper that keeps me smelling fresh even after 8 hours in a wet diaper. I know the capacity of my various diapers, but I have had a few press-out leaks on the back of my pants. I just retreat to the privacy of my office to change and wait until the wet spot dries sufficiently. No one is the wiser when I wet during a conversation or meeting. Be confident, act normal, and know the capacity of your diaper.