why people come here for support and no matter what you tell them isn't good enough! lol

[ks84]

so many people post here on this site for support and so many people no matter what you tell them isn't enough support and this goes on for weeks when is enough and what more support can you give before its just a waste of everyone time?

 

 

Whats your thoughts on this?

[KittyMerriweather]

They arent looking for support. They are looking for someone to give them permission to be broken. Most people will only listen to sob stories a short time before saying ok now get on with it.

[BabyJune]

While majoring in psychology, I had to read a book called "The Games People Play." In it, the author described a person asking for help and then challenging the advice. Its a "game" called: Why don't you--yes, but. Sounds like what you are talking about here.

[vvp39]

Yeah, now that you mention it, I remember reading that about a hundred years ago...good call.

[Little Sherri]

10 hours ago, KittyMerriweather said:

They arent looking for support. They are looking for someone to give them permission to be broken.

I concur with this. I also think that in a lot of cases, the hardest thing is giving oneself "permission to be broken" - even if a bunch of people say "it's okay" and "you're not alone", if a person continues to harbour a deeply-imbedded belief that their interest (presumably in either the AB and/or DL lifestyle) is to be abhorred, the resulting dissonance will cause them to continue to seek out validation, and then, to continue to reject it when it's offered. It's an endless cycle for some. Until the "permission" or "acceptance" comes from within, they are impenetrable to outside succor.  

[KittyMerriweather]

2 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

I concur with this. I also think that in a lot of cases, the hardest thing is giving oneself "permission to be broken" - even if a bunch of people say "it's okay" and "you're not alone", if a person continues to harbour a deeply-imbedded belief that their interest (presumably in either the AB and/or DL lifestyle) is to be abhorred, the resulting dissonance will cause them to continue to seek out validation, and then, to continue to reject it when it's offered. It's an endless cycle for some. Until the "permission" or "acceptance" comes from within, they are impenetrable to outside succor.  

ABSOLUTELY

[MegaChar]

Simple way of putting it is the change has to be done by them. Not the person giving the advice. If the person you want to help is ignorant then there's nothing you can do about it other then give advice.

I have gone through this very issue one too many times and its hurts my heart everytime but deep down I understand that they have to save themselfs.

[steve in diaps]

I also think for some that denial plays a part. For myself in the beginning I was in denial over the need for the need to wear diapers and wanting ways to avoid the problems I had. As I had good days and bad days that I would fail. And I thought if my back pain would get better that my incontinence would be gone just set me up to fail again. Sometimes we want others to prop us up so we feel better about ourselves. But incontinence can only be managed. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that has issues but I'm the one that has to accept and deal with my issues. It still comes down to personal responsibility. 

For a time I was caught up in the ciycle of not wanting to needing to wear. And worry someone would find out. And medical community saying that they were undergarments, Not diapers did not help. Now I can get by with HD pull-ups most of the time but have my diapers handy for when I need them.

[feralfreak]

sometimes its a matter that the person is an energy vampire, complain complain complain, offer a solution and its"no! i dont like that" or some variant, its like they need to complain to feed, thrive, like a druggy, screaming "dont help me!" while complaing, and you try anyway because you know they need to be able to move on, but all they want is that next "fix"

[rusty pins]

There are some people that just want to post over and over because they like people to respond.  No matter what someone tells them, they will find a way to take exception to it.  If you tell someone to change diapers within 30 minutes of wetting, they will respond that they like wearing their soaking diaper as long as they can.  If you tell them wear their diaper as long as they can, they will respond that they need to change it as soon as possible!  Some people just like to post and keep people responding for their own personal attention and you will never satisfy them with any answer you post.

There are times when a person asks for some advice and they get the opposite.  For example, someone might ask how they can wear a discreet diaper without the possibility of anyone finding out.  Some people might offer good advice like larger size pants, onesie, etc.  Others will post, "Just proudly wear your thick bulky diapers and don't worry about it when everyone notices!"  That can piss off anyone who is asking for help and they get a counter productive answer from a die hard ABDL who themselves don't care who knows they wear diapers.

[Fakename4me]

And sometimes people already know what they need to do and just will not accept that no matter how many times they are told the same answer.

If someone has posted this, I am sorry for the repeat.  TL/DR  ?

[ThomasInWVa]

Being a victim these days is a status symbol. So lots of people want to appear as victims and need to celebrate their victimology. They also need/want to be told that their chosen bit of crazy is ok along with a massive dose of sympathy. 

I used to think the AB/DL crowd were coocoo bananas but over the years I've realized that its nothing to compared to how freaking nuts the rest of the World is. It sort of makes sense that someone would want to go back to a simpler age. Diaper and/or baby stuff is a lot better than destructive drugs, and other behaviors. 

And I can attests that one can get emotionally attached to something like diapers. I didn't even know I was getting stressed and anxious when not in diapers and it was impacting my incontinence.

So what the hell do I know? Not much except that if someone wants to be incontinent or have a reason to wear diapers or act like a baby from time to time as a coping mechanism with this insane World, I'm ok with it if it helps.

And as I look back over my years, I think doing fun crazy - but unharmful stuff, is the way to go if it makes you happy. 

[KittyMerriweather]

13 minutes ago, ThomasInWVa said:

Being a victim these days is a status symbol. So lots of people want to appear as victims and need to celebrate their victimology. They also need/want to be told that their chosen bit of crazy is ok along with a massive dose of sympathy. 

I used to think the AB/DL crowd were coocoo bananas but over the years I've realized that its nothing to compared to how freaking nuts the rest of the World is. It sort of makes sense that someone would want to go back to a simpler age. Diaper and/or baby stuff is a lot better than destructive drugs, and other behaviors. 

And I can attests that one can get emotionally attached to something like diapers. I didn't even know I was getting stressed and anxious when not in diapers and it was impacting my incontinence.

So what the hell do I know? Not much except that if someone wants to be incontinent or have a reason to wear diapers or act like a baby from time to time as a coping mechanism with this insane World, I'm ok with it if it helps.

And as I look back over my years, I think doing fun crazy - but unharmful stuff, is the way to go if it makes you happy. 

SO MUCH THIS

[ThomasInWVa]

Just saw this and immediately thought of this thread.

https://youtu.be/MjqssEC_lVY