I'm a DL wife is not

[Minesmith67]

So hello everyone. So I've been a member for a while and I came out to my wife about 6 years ago. But I've been into this since forever. So what I'm trying to figure out is if there is anyone that can give advice to give to my wife. She still doesn't fully understand the whole thing. She doesn't like the fact that I'm on the site and doesn't like the whole chat thing. She mainly just want to keep it private and only bedroom. But I like wearing in public to and possibly wanna find like minded people to hang with and don't have to hide a secret like I do to my best bud. Like she feels like there is no need to do that or anything. She's worn for me a few times and we have had "relations" in them but its not her thing and she is willing to indulge me with them every once in a while. Do any advice yall have that I can show her to help her ease into me being in this community and possibly bring her over to the dark side. I mean come on we have cookies.

[ksdl]

Have her read coffee with rosie   from abdiscovery. 

[~Brian~]

10 hours ago, ksdl said:

Have her read coffee with rosie   from abdiscovery. 

@Minesmith67@ksdl

I have found that any books that Rosalie Bent or Her husband Michael have written are helpful in dealing with the subject of being AB/DL/etc.  The problem is, that a LOT of people look at being an AB or DL or whatever, as being "bad" or harmful, or something worse.  I read a few of her books myself, and I can tell you, they are GREAT - Most sites put this community in a BAD light, and "mark" us all as crazy mixed up people, when most of that is just JUNK, or untrue, or made up, or "spun" in a way that makes everyone look like aliens from Malmack or something.

If there is a Book out there that you should be having your wife READ, it is by these 2 authors:  They don't mess around, and they lay it out there, as plain as you can get:  Have her read THIS information, and she will get a REAL idea of what is going on, and not something that is made to make this community a bad thing!

Good Luck!

Brian

[AugustRaineDL]

Dear Minesmith67,

The way I'm wired I have no need or desire for my partner to wear diapers. I  just want to wear them and be "babied" for a bit. For me it is a once-in-a-while thing not an everyday kind of a thing so with these factors combined it is easier for my partner to indulge me. I had my partner read a few books on BDSM and power exchange in general, and a chapter here and there on ageplay since I figured the experts could explain it better than I could (and getting her to read them was like pulling teeth, but she did eventually). One book that was particularly useful was Enough to Make you Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation by Princess Kali.

I, just by myself, read a great book called The Adult Baby Guidebook: The Life Struggles of the Perpetually Diapered which I thought was a very thorough, relatable and well-written book about one young man's experiences with AB/DL. I have a few other guidebooks as well for the CG/little power exchange relationship. (All these books were purchased on Amazon by the way.) For me the MD/lg power exchange dynamic is the main attraction so that's where I need help with communicating with my partner and I have sought resources to address that as communication is not my strong suit. I knew I'd just muck it up trying to explain it myself especially since there seem to be different facets to it. I am both AB and DL, and a little and a middle and an age regressor in general and some components are sexual and some are non-sexual so to try to explain all that would be too confusing and she honestly doesn't need to understand it. We are still trying to find our groove with how AB/DL is going to fit into our lives but these resources have helped open the lines of communication. I hope you find these resources helpful.

[abgreen]

A really great podcast about the topic: 

https://dreamalittle.libsyn.com

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

@Minesmith67 You already have the loving, caring wife. From what you say you told her six years ago. Six years to many is a long time. To me it is a blink of an eye. I have been a total DL for 44 years. I lived a quarter century with a man that loved me and cherished me. He did not want to touch or come near me when I wore my diaper. So consider yourself a very lucky and loved man. It may take her another six years to come around, but she loves you and accepts you. I did diapers on my own for 25 years, but compared to my great marriage diapers was such a minute part of my relationship with my husband. My first husband is gone now, but he still lives in my heart. After he was killed in service I was very alone and went out on a quest. I was not going to give up until I found the right person, I am bisexual, so it did not matter to me the gender/sex of my partner. It took me five long grueling years and hundreds of one night stands. I found him in the form of a sissy, diaper loving crossdresser. He is sitting right beside me now as I write this. For him it is a journey he has never experienced before, even though he is a diaper lover for 23 years. For me it is a voyage into my fetish. I did many things during college that were diaper related, but never to this extreme and ultimacy. We share everything, and I mean everything. For me it is still a very living and learning and adventurous, venturesome journey. I implore you my friend to give her time. Let her read some of the stories here, and the hardships many have endured at the hands of loving family. Diapers are no joke for me. I admit it has been a very long and hard struggle. Just finding friends alone that accept this is a hard thing to do. Which is why many come here to be loved and respected and just plainly accepted as a person that enjoys diapers. The biggest things in a relationship are respect and communication. Love comes easy, but a lifetime of partnership is something we all strive for.       Bless you and sorry I didnt answer this sooner.. if you have any questions at all please feel free to drop me a message and I will gladly answer you..        Lots of love to you all and @Minesmith67you are in great hands on this site. Peace to you all...

[cusediapers14]

On 3/7/2021 at 7:19 AM, ksdl said:

Have her read coffee with rosie   from abdiscovery. 

I had my wife read this and not sure it helped. Might have done more harm than good. I don't think she appreciated the approach in some regard. 

But to the original post I am in a similar boat except my wife doesn't know I am here and it would be a problem if she did and she won't wear. I come here because I think its fair that I get an outlet from people who understand my mindset. She lets me wear and allows me to indulge mostly on my own but will participate here and there when I am wearing. The reality is you need to determine what is most important to you. For me personally I have an awesome wife that is more important to me than diapers. Don't get me wrong I want nothing more than to bring her to the dark side like you do but after years of prodding it just isn't going happen. Sounds like overall you don't have a terrible situation there are many people who would have walked out the door when you told them you wanted to wear diapers. Life and marriage is about compromise and sometimes we need to just appreciate the compromise being better than nothing. 

[Little Sherri]

I am muddling through a similar situation, @Minesmith67; I was a DL as a kid, but had to force that side of me deep down inside as an early teen, after my stepfather found my stash of homemade diapers and yelled at me in front of my family about it. That caused me to bury "this" deeply, for about two decades, and in the meantime, I met a lady, and we got married and started a family, while my ABDL side was, I thought, buried for good. However, as many of us know, these things always eventually find the light, and I was no exception - seeing a picture of myself in a photo album, as a kid, wearing a diaper, caused everything to come welling back up, and I ran out and bought some Goodnites within a couple of days. I progressed from there, wearing what I could buy over the counter, in secret, keeping everything hidden, but I knew that eventually I would either get found out, or else, I would have to tell her, so I chose the latter scenario. I've been 24/7 for two years now, and while it hasn't been all smooth sailing, I am very glad that decided to be upfront with my wife, and to stop sneaking around, feeling guilt and shame, exactly the way I felt when I was a kid. 

She's not super excited about it, but she's been a supportive partner. She doesn't participate, but, she also hasn't suggested that I go live in my car, and, she's created space in our relationship (and our basement) for my infantile underwear preferences, so really, that's all I can ask. It sounds like your wife is being as supportive as she can be, and being a good sport about it, even though it's not "her thing", and might never be. Kudos to her, and kudos to you for living life on your terms, while also striving to respect your partner. 

[Clothdiaperman]

You have a loving wife. Leave the diaper wearing at home. There are people that would give you grieve for waring in public, because they do not understand what a diaper lover is. If you wife lets you wear at home leave this alone. If your in conflict over your diaper lover habit see a therapist that can help you both.

[babypb]

On 6/5/2021 at 2:34 PM, Clothdiaperman said:

You have a loving wife. Leave the diaper wearing at home. There are people that would give you grieve for waring in public, because they do not understand what a diaper lover is. If you wife lets you wear at home leave this alone. If your in conflict over your diaper lover habit see a therapist that can help you both.

...I might be wrong, but I think his "wearing in public" would be with clothes over the diapers which millions of Americans do everyday due to whatever health issue they may have. I'm a DL and I probably wear diapers 90% of the time. Plus, I'm a "diaper wearer", not a "diaper user". I may wet once or twice a month, never messes. It's just the "underwear" I CHOOSE to wear. You can wear diapers in public so discreetly these days no one knows but you. 95% of people these days have their face stuck to their smartphones, iphones or whatever, so whose gonna notice?

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 4/28/2021 at 9:09 AM, cusediapers14 said:

I had my wife read this and not sure it helped. Might have done more harm than good. I don't think she appreciated the approach in some regard. 

But to the original post I am in a similar boat except my wife doesn't know I am here and it would be a problem if she did and she won't wear. I come here because I think its fair that I get an outlet from people who understand my mindset. She lets me wear and allows me to indulge mostly on my own but will participate here and there when I am wearing. The reality is you need to determine what is most important to you. For me personally I have an awesome wife that is more important to me than diapers. Don't get me wrong I want nothing more than to bring her to the dark side like you do but after years of prodding it just isn't going happen. Sounds like overall you don't have a terrible situation there are many people who would have walked out the door when you told them you wanted to wear diapers. Life and marriage is about compromise and sometimes we need to just appreciate the compromise being better than nothing. 

Cuse we have spoken many times and believe me I feel your pain. My first husband as much as I loved him, diapers were not for him. We did everything you can possibly think of sex wise except for diapers. In my first husbands own words "that is your thing and I will never interfere" he didnt mind that I wore or even wore going out. He just didnt find them romantic and never had sex or touched me if I had a diaper on. We did have a wonderful marriage, just without diapers. After he passed, I met Elle four years later, and we are inseperable. Being with someone that loves diapers and shares the life is something still new to me. I havent had this much fun since college. Compromise is always good and you never know. Hopefully you know that you are never alone and there is a whole site of people here including me that are willing to chat and put you at ease. Hugs to you Cuse and speak to you soon in chat.

[scorepio]

On 8/22/2021 at 6:11 PM, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Cuse we have spoken many times and believe me I feel your pain. My first husband as much as I loved him, diapers were not for him. We did everything you can possibly think of sex wise except for diapers. In my first husbands own words "that is your thing and I will never interfere" he didnt mind that I wore or even wore going out. He just didnt find them romantic and never had sex or touched me if I had a diaper on. We did have a wonderful marriage, just without diapers. After he passed, I met Elle four years later, and we are inseperable. Being with someone that loves diapers and shares the life is something still new to me. I havent had this much fun since college. Compromise is always good and you never know. Hopefully you know that you are never alone and there is a whole site of people here including me that are willing to chat and put you at ease. Hugs to you Cuse and speak to you soon in chat.

I feel and empathize for the loss of your first marriage. I’m very sorry. May he RIP. Too bad he didn’t get the diapers excitement. Glad to know you met another person with whom you match on the emotional diaper level and kink. I can only hope to meet and share whatever love life has left for me to the level at which you and your caring half are sharing. Much respect to you both. Stay safe! And stay wet and messy… Hugs. 

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 8/24/2021 at 10:39 PM, scorepio said:

I feel and empathize for the loss of your first marriage. I’m very sorry. May he RIP. Too bad he didn’t get the diapers excitement. Glad to know you met another person with whom you match on the emotional diaper level and kink. I can only hope to meet and share whatever love life has left for me to the level at which you and your caring half are sharing. Much respect to you both. Stay safe! And stay wet and messy… Hugs. 

Scorepio I havent seen you in the room as much but I do miss you, A very long time. that has passed, hope to chat soon, Summer is almost over and the room will get packed once again. Hugs and sweet kisses my friend.

[scorepio]

On 8/26/2021 at 1:17 AM, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Scorepio I havent seen you in the room as much but I do miss you, A very long time. that has passed, hope to chat soon, Summer is almost over and the room will get packed once again. Hugs and sweet kisses my friend.

My dear Evelyn, I am grateful for your thoughtfulness. I hope you and yours are well, despite the craziness. Things have been somewhat quiet out here on Long Island this year. I remain hopeful that life, as we knew it pre Covid, will  hopefully resume to normalcy some time soon. Until then, stay safe (and wet). ??❤️