Final stage of acceptance, how to proceed?

[Anonymous12]

My name is Rory 
 

After a month of agonizing, I have finally accepted that I will be wearing diapers for most of my life until I get older and then I might use a catheter. I have tested most of the pull-up underwear available and they are unfortunately not able to hold a complete void. On another forum, I was advised to use ComfiDry which only requires changes every 12 hours. Even though I think that would be the best diaper for me, it is a taped diaper so I would not be able to use the toilet because of the inability to retape myself (I have cerebral palsy) .  While I know that that is what a diaper is for, I usually have accidents when I’m outside or in a meeting. I feel like I’m almost at complete acceptance but I am still facing this final bump.

Thanks

[ValentinesStuff]

Hey Rory, if you're in the US contact @NorthShoreAdam. He runs https://www.northshorecare.com/. They are a friendly company and will be able to help you find the right product.

[~Brian~]

20 hours ago, ValentinesStuff said:

Hey Rory, if you're in the US contact @NorthShoreAdam. He runs https://www.northshorecare.com/. They are a friendly company and will be able to help you find the right product.

@Anonymous12

I agree:  @NorthShoreAdamis a GREAT resource, and his company makes the "Caddy" of the Adult diaper/incontinence market:  He should be able to help you find what you need:  as @ValentinesStuffsays, he should be able to help you find the right product.  ANY CLOTH BACKED product that is currently out there, with the exception of Northshore is SUB PAR and is not worth it - TRUST me

Brian

[adhb]

I have found that, if you’re careful, it’s possible to pull down a tape-on diaper to use the toilet and pull it back up again without untaping it. You do not need to untape the diaper until you’re ready to change it.

[steve in diaps]

I'm using Northshore now, plan to use their subscription to get a discount  on products. I have diapers for backup and use pull-ups daily. Booters pads help to extend the pullups. I keep a diaper with pull-ups and wipes in my bag for when I need to change in public. I'm about ready to experiment with washable pull-ups with lines and maybe disposable pads. 

[Anonymous12]

Thanks guys. This is the fourth night in a row changing sheets. Originally, I was planning on using pull-ups 24/7 but it seems like my body is too lazy to get up in the middle of the night once I started wearing. I might have to use diapers at night and then pull-ups in the morning. I’ll figure something out.

[Anonymous12]

Also were you ever in denial about your incontinence?

[steve in diaps]

Yes, I didn't even want to tell the comp doctors I was having issues. I didn't want to be put out of work. But the nerve test blew that idea. With electrodes above the injury near my spine and the rest on my lower body, just as soon as the test started control left. So much for denial.  I left the test in diapers. Then I was out of work for 2yrs.

[steve in diaps]

I feel for you,, incontinence  changes everything. Injuries or medical issues  are hard enough, but Incontinence can be overwhelming in public and in private. 

I also had a hard time with night time issues,  water proof mattress cover, bed pads over sheets help. I had a hard time finding the right products and size that worked for me at the time. I got on this site to learn from others. Doctors were not much help.  In time with timed bathrooms breaks and diet I learned to kinda have some control over bowel and badder. I have upper and lower back injury issues. The more active I am the harder it is to manage. Now I mostly use Northshore med pull-ups  day and night. If control is on a day/night off, then I fall back to diapers. Having triple bypass in 2017 didn't help my upper back and going diabetic and meds for that complicated things. Water pills are from hell. If I take that it's high capacity diapers and booster pads. If I try to hold to get to the bathroom,  the 4th or 5th time I go I lose all ability to hold it. Odd thing is when my back is real bad, if I wear my back brace seems to help with pain and alittle for the incontinence. I don't get the normal warning time to go to the bathroom,  now it's like 3 to 10 min warning. It's only 25 miles to work. ??

 

[Anonymous12]

Again thank you! I apologize if this question is repetitive but I’m trying to decide what to do. I might end up wearing pull-ups during the day and diapers at night so that I can enjoy a full night’s rest. It’s weird because I have full control but I need to use these in order to improve my participation in everyday activities. Do you know how I can overcome this mindblock?

[WetDad]

It will take time. As you come to appreciate how life has improved by the use of diapers, you will accept it. 

[steve in diaps]

It was hard for me to accept that I had to wear protective products to be able to do things I wanted, to go places, to even work and even get sleep. Now I look at them  as tools to do that. And it beats dealing with wet or dirty clothes, car seats, beds. And accidents in public.

Oh I forgot my van with a camping portable toilet really helps for trips. And works as a place to clean up and change as well.

[Anonymous12]

Thanks guys! I apologize if this question is repetitive but I’m getting closer to embracing my need for incontinence products and I had a change of mind when I started writing this. Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror so to speak and then been creeped out? Also, is there anyone you know of that wears diapers even if they are ambulatory at home but need a wheelchair when going out? I just feel weird still and I was hoping that someone in a similar situation could relate.

[steve in diaps]

Self-image has a double edge. I was fully functional one day, in 30 seconds I could barely get off the floor. I have a roller walker I have used at times. I have known people that where full time in a wheelchair but not close. I try not to think about what I lost or can't do. But it is hard at times.  I have to think about what I can do and find ways to do things in a safe way that I should not do. You need to look at tools that help you or make life easier as just tools. I can't imagine what your situation is or how hard it is. Just try to find something positive that you enjoy to distract you from the negative. Hopefully you have close friends and family to help. Life is full of setbacks but offers opportunities as well. 

[Rob110]

Hi Rory 

 

 Sorry to hear you need to wear 24/7 but always remember you are not alone in dealing with bladder or bowel issues and needing to wear a diaper 24/7. Acceptance is key as is finding a diaper you can trust to do its job, its been 6 years for me so I  have long since accepted my need to be diapered. I try to look on the bright side of things and if all that medically goes wrong with me is the need to wear a diaper then thats great  as there are way worse medical conditions to deal with. 

 Over time I have actually come to appreciate being in a premium diaper (Stuck in traffic, Bathrooms closed or busy) especially with the pandemic and most public bathrooms here in our area being closed. 

Being diapered 24/7 has not changed my life other then I now pack the most when we go on trips  

  

[steve in diaps]

Rob110 is so right, there are far worse issues  in life. I had a heart attack in 2010 and triple bypass in 2017. Both times in the hospital seven days. I have to keep moving daily and not lay around because of my back issues.  Each time I had to use my roller walker to get back to walking. And used it over three months and in diapers almost four months after the bypass. They won't try to fix my back, claim it would put me in a wheelchair or nursing home or kill me. For some reason my upper back messes with my breathing/diaphragm. Lower back at times cause my legs, bladder, bowel to go non functional. When that sensation hits I have to get off my feet or I go down and unload into what protection I'm wearing at the time. 10 to 15 min later control comes back, pain subsides on back to normal. At least so far it has. SUCKED I had to give up my motorcycle and 3wheeler. Now I'm trying to get brave enough to date again.