Being okay with yourself

[NannaAnnabelle]

I think I've finally reached the point in my life where I'm not purging anymore. I just told myself this stuff is too expensive. I'm 55 though and it took me this long so keep that in mind. I just try not to guilt myself over it any longer.

 

[Gentle Gemma]

On 10/31/2020 at 8:00 PM, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

To all you beautiful diaper lovers and adult babies I feel your pain. I have enough guilt for all of you rolled into one. Now put yourself in my shoes, here I am a thirteen year old girl having her first orgasm in a pamper out on a public street with my knees weak after a good solid poop. I felt the guilt double fold because I couldn't tell my parents or friends. You're talking about 1978. The first thing my parents would have done is take me to a psychiatrist and had my head checked out. At that age girls are starting to discover themselves and getting interested in boys and the whole nine yards. Remember the FDA had just approved the use of Lithium in 1970. I was not going to be a test subject nor a guinea pig and I kept my secret to myself. I already knew I had feelings for girls as well as boys and that was a double whammy. I met a girl my age back then in the eighth grade and we were very close and we did just about everything together. Yes at thirteen sex in a treehouse while in poopy diapers was not uncommon to me. the psychiatrist would have had a field day with me. I finished my schooling early just so I could rush and go to college and sow my wild oats some more. I lost contact with my girlfriend after graduation and life just got better for me. I met and married a very handsome man at twenty three years old, but he was not a fan of diapers, so I left it to myself to indulge in diapers my own way. My husband was by no means vanilla in any way and we did just about everything two humans can possibly do, just not in diapers (his loss). My husband was a career military man and was killed in service in 2012. I was alone again, just me and my diapers. I had lots of fun and many one night stands for the next seven years. I always had enjoyed the night life and frequented latin dance clubs for most of my adult life. I was dancing one night (may 23,2017) and seen this gorgeous woman dancing and she had great moves and was cute as a button. I was never a shy person and I went right up to her and held my hand out and asked her to dance. I didn't know it was her 40th birthday that night and she whispered to me " are you my birthday angel" ? We danced for hours. Like I said I was never shy and I grabbed her ass several times dancing and I felt something very familiar to me. My mind was so hazy, but I knew she was wearing a diaper. We sat and took a break and I needed to powder my nose, I grabbed her hand and we went to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom I lifted her skirt and seen she was wearing a wet pullup. The voice in my head said just go for it !!. I closed my eyes and just kissed her as passionately as I could and she kissed me back with everything she had. The next three years have been a blurr but the most beautiful blurr in my life. I love you all and the guilty feelings will never stop, You have to control those feelings and keep them in check. If you have someone that accepts your diaper take that as a blessing, hold that person near and dear to your heart. Kiss that person everyday and tell them that you love them. Be proud, hold that persons hand as you walk down the street. I don't care if you are gay, bisexual, trisexual, asexual or an introvert. We all need to love and be loved. Throw that guilt out the window and be happy for yourself !!  littleme5144 sweetie you kiss and hug that woman everyday and tell her you love her, and don't feel guilty, feel proud my friend. life is too short for the guilt !  Life is too short and you only have one life on this planet, live it now.

That is beautiful! You give me hope!

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

8 hours ago, Gentle Gemma said:

That is beautiful! You give me hope!

Hope is a beautiful word @Gentle Gemma We all hope that one day all the love we have given away will come back to us, and stay. Stay strong and have faith my friend. Peace

On 11/17/2020 at 10:44 PM, NannaAnnabelle said:

I think I've finally reached the point in my life where I'm not purging anymore. I just told myself this stuff is too expensive. I'm 55 though and it took me this long so keep that in mind. I just try not to guilt myself over it any longer

 

Guilt is a very powerful emotion and if we let it,,, guilt can take us down. Use that guilt to motivate yourself, and be the better person. Explore with curiosity not judgement. Guilt is only good when owning up to a mistake.

[amorfraldaJR]

I am gay and it took me a few years to feel okay with myself. I knew I was gay at 10 years old but didn't come out to my parents until I was 13. The guilt hit me like a ton of bricks and the hatred my father showed and presented towards me was so hard for me to handle. There were many nights that all I could think of was ending it all. I was tired of being called a faggot by my father and my schoolwork suffered a great deal. I felt useless when I bought home a failing report card and my father tossed me out of my house. Now I look back 5 years and my life did a total 360. I am college bound and I am proud to be gay and love diapers. Love and acceptance can squelch guilt very effectively. My aunts and my uncle taught me its not who you love, its how you love. They taught me to never let anyone shake your belief in who you are and how you feel. I learned to always be true to myself, and to always love myself first. I have many friends, gay, straight, bi and I have no problem accepting any of them. I still won't brag about my love for diapers, but my own boyfriend is a diaper lover. What we do in the privacy of my house is just that. Love and acceptance freed me of guilt and all of you that have a partner that is okay with you, then you should be okay with yourself and live free. Thanx for all your love !  I know its not as easy as it sounds, but you won't know until you try.

[square_duck]

On 10/12/2020 at 4:41 AM, rusty pins said:

Remember, it's not like sitting down and springing the news on her out of the blue that you wear diapers.  She already knows that part of you and is accepting of it after all these years.  It's about you telling her just how you feel some shame about her knowing you wear diapers, how embarrassed you are if she sees you in a diaper and how you can't understand how she accepts that part of you.  That should open up a discussion but make sure you tell her how much you love her, she is your world.

Rusty usually has his head screwed on straight. ?. BUT....you have to also remember things from the other side. Explaining how you feel and you're discomfort is one thing, but you have to also acknowledge your wifes point of view, and THANK HER for being as accepting of you and this.... "Thing" as she is. It sounds like you have someone wonderful there, and you have to let her know that you appreciate her for that. 

She accepts you for you.....padding included, just remember to let her know how much you appreciate it, and show her how much and how special her patience and acceptance of this part of you means to you. Explaining your guilt or bad feelings you feel ir carry is one thing.... Kind of like looking for pity or sympathy, but she is supportive.....and THAT needs to be celibrated..make sure you do that, or she wont stick around much longer.

Hope this helps....just wish I could find someone like her.....

[littleme5144]

Just wanted to say thank you too all of you for the suggestions/comments. I think this will help not only me but others as well. 

[NightWitch]

I totally understand this feeling. I have a supportive partner which is really helpful. But sometimes I get that weird shameful feeling when I change my diaper or if my partner changes me. I started out being a DL but recently have been struggling with some real incontinence issues. I wish I had a solution for you. But you’re not alone in these feelings. 

[Young1]

Sometimes first step in acceptance is being ok with yourself. 

Depression and lifer downers happen its what you make of them that counts. 

[Little Cub Pants]

5 hours ago, Young1 said:

Sometimes first step in acceptance is being ok with yourself. 

Depression and lifer downers happen its what you make of them that counts.

SO TRUE buddy!?♥️?????♥️??

[~Brian~]

@Young1@Little Spider

16 hours ago, Young1 said:

Sometimes first step in acceptance is being ok with yourself. 

Depression and lifer downers happen its what you make of them that counts. 

there was an old commercial on TV a long time ago: it was about EF Hutton: they had a saying that said something that was important in this context: " When EF Hutton talks, people listen!"  now I'm gonna modify it a little bit:  " when @Evelyn Dellcerro talks, people listen!"   The first step is acceptance on any level. You have to be able to Except your situation and be comfortable with yourself before you can do anything else. you can't be afraid and you can't worry about what people think what people say what people would would say or any of that nonsense. You have to be strong and understand that sometimes the best thing for yourself is Something that you may not think is comfortable, but is necessary.

when somebody finally can come to the realization that they accept who what they are and why they are doing something, that is part of the big picture. I'm telling you from experience, that if it wasn't for people like @Evelyn Dellcerro and @Transfusionelle And a whole host of others, that I have talked to over the years, I would not be in that particular position where I am comfortable with myself and able and able to accept where I am and what I'm dealing with.  Like @Young1, I have dealt with life's depression and Downers, and I deal with depression on a daily basis. Depression is nothing to mess with, and if you feel that way, you better end up getting help fast: it took me a while to understand what the heck was going on all the way around, and I can tell you from experience that the best thing that I could do when I was dealing with such a problem is to be able to look at straighten the eye be able to point at it be able to grumble at it maybe swear at it and use some bad words, and then say " you might have won the battle depression on some cases, but I am going to win the war !  I'm not gonna let you take me down and, and I'm gonna end up doing my very best to make sure that I live the life that I want to: I am in control of this ship and I'm not gonna let anybody steer me off course too far, because I'll end up taking control!"

In order to deal with the situation, you may have to take a big bite of the sandwich of life, which means that you would end up having the good parts and the bad parts. Sometimes life throws you bad curveballs, and sometimes it throws you things that are even worse than that! let yourself get hit in the head with these things, say ouch and then cry for an hour, dust yourself off and then say OK let's move on, or you can let this stuff hit you in the head come and knock you out flat and then you're in a constant state of fear because you don't know how to proceed.

It's OK to be unsure and it's OK to be afraid and it's OK to have fear! if we did not fear we wouldn't have any way to know what could be dangerous and what couldn't Be.  I remember spending many a night with Eve online trying to out with my own head what the heck I was trying to deal with, processing a lot of things that were just hitting my brain with intense scrutiny! many of the things that was hitting me were things that were several years old, things that I always had in my head, things that I would never disclose to any one because I was afraid I would be laughed off the face of the planet! because of people like Eve and her wife, I am a better person because I understand what the heck I'm dealing with or why I felt the way I do, and I'm not ashamed or afraid To express that I feel like a different person because of this type of assistance. it's a challenge to be able to understand what the heck you're dealing with, and with all the emotions and everything hitting you all at once, it can bring you right down to your knees: almost to the point where you just want to grab onto somebody and hug the heck out of them, and hold them because they are your support system at the moment. Eve Has helped me and a lot of other people, in many ways. Sometimes I think she helps me in ways that I don't understand, or maybe I don't or can't fathom at the moment.  you have to be able to be OK with yourself before you can do anything else. You have to understand that there are going to be people that are going to be like humongous blocks in the middle of your road, sometimes you have to go around them, sometimes you have to go through them, sometimes you can move them out of the way come But you have to be able to move around the blocks in your life. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's hard, but we all hit things that are in our way and we have to move them out of the way.

There are other times however that we hit rock bottom: just like if you are an alcoholic or a drug user, and you have told yourself over and over that it'll be OK, sometimes the way you realize what you're dealing with is wrong or there's something going on is to hit absolutely absolute rock bottom, and then realize that you screwed up, and that you need help To pull yourself back up so that you can function. it's like a total reset. You had a particular setup and you had a particular life, you had a particular partner for example, and then everything went sour, and things started going bad, and in order for you to realize that you went down the wrong road, And had bad things happen to you, you have to hit the bottom of the barrel, and you have to reach up for somebody to grab you out of that barrel and then dust you off and put you back on the ground and say here you go!  then you have to have somebody that is willing to say: "no, you don't need this and you don't want this."  someone who will help you to understand things that are bad, or do things for you That they know are in your best interest, even when you think they might not. it's almost like tough love: they love you enough to help you, but they have to show you that they mean business, and they're trying to help you. Once you realize that they are trying to help you, you finally get to the point where you realize with a lot of help and support that you need the help, and when you're ready to accept it it makes a heck of a difference.

you have to be able to accept your situation. the only problem is that there are certain people that may not be able to understand what the heck their processing and their brains at the top at the time, so they're unable to accept what they don't understand. There were times that I was that person, I was unsure of myself and I didn't know why I felt that way, I felt like there was something wrong with me, I ended up having sleepless nights not understanding why the heck these feelings were there. Because of people on this system I have come to the realization that I am not broken, there's nothing wrong with me, and I've always been the way I am, I am a loving individual i've always been that way Carmen and I've always been able to tell the difference between right and wrong and my moral compass has been the way it has been. the only thing I had to worry about was why I felt the way I did.  @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle@amorfraldaJR And others help me to understand that it's OK: it's OK to feel this way it's OK to wear diapers and it's OK to enjoy what you do in them or how you use them. Because of their support and others, my life is a 180 degree spend from the way it was when I was 47 years old when I first signed on to daily diapers. because I can understand where I'm standing, I can help others by giving advice and support: And all three of the people I mentioned in this paragraph were integral in making sure that I understood what the heck was going on. you cannot accept what you don't understand, and you cannot accept what you're not able to process. some people take longer to understand things like this, and that's fine. some people have a lot of questions and they are unsure of themselves as they take that first step. it's almost like when you're first learning how to swim: you're afraid to you're going to step into the water and you might end up Having an issue, but there's always someone to lift you up and hold you there while you're learning being there to help you. @Evelyn Dellcerro @Transfusionelle and @amorfraldaJR Know exactly what I'm talking about: when you have somebody that's there to be able to be that awesome figure in your life, the one that is always there for you regardless of where you go, where you've been, the mistakes you make, and how many times you fall on your face: When you have somebody that is special that will pick you up off the floor dust you off and set you back up on your feet and say try again boy! those are the type of people that will always be there for you regardless of what happens. You have to be OKAY with your situation, and I'm sure that all three of these individuals know exactly how that is! A loving hand:, A big hug, A pat on the back another things, or to assist you when you need help! those are things that I always will remember: the things that make life interesting because someone is there for you when you Need them: and you love them, and you respect them. love is A powerful emotion, and sometimes love plays a point or a part And whether you feel OK with yourself or not. love A powerful emotion, and when you have somebody that loves you, any everything can happen, and most likely if you have If you have the right support system they will accept you and be able to help you to be OK with your situation, and help you be a better person.

So yes: you have to be OK with yourself: that is the most important piece! if you can be OKAY with yourself, it doesn't really matter if others around you Not be, but it's always a good thing when everything meshes together and you have a support system that is as hard as cement and does not go anywhere regardless of what you say, what happens, what you do when other things. your support system just picks you up off the floor dust you off set you back up and says try again! when you're OKAY with yourself then you can be more confident and sure of your actions and what you wanna do in life. as I said, when you are an alcoholic or somebody that is a drug addict you must hit rock bottom and then pull yourself back up to realize there's an issue here: sometimes that happens, but the best thing is being OK with your decisions: I am OK with mine and I wouldn't be in that position without good support systems: remember when Eve talks, people listen!

Love Alwsys,

Brian