Please help me. Going 24/7 just need some pointers

[Ginger]

I'm currently diaper training and need some reassurance in a few things. I'm trying to release the worry that others will notice I'm in diapers, that they will be seen. And I don't REALLY care, uts just I'm struggling with losing that mental block. I want nothing more than to lose full control of both my bladder AND bowels. It's a very deep seeded need for me. How have you gotten past the mental blocks? I don't like thin diapers and I'm happiest with them full. Any words of affirmation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[spark]

I've worn diapers in public a ton, and now it' far more common for me to have a diaper than not.  Basically- If you see me in public- I'm diapered, at least with a Pull Up.

As far as the hang up that people will notice- they won't notice. Unless the tabs are sticking out, and somebody is very observant- they won't suspect that you are wearing something.  Even if they do- they won't say anything.   I usually have a pair of boxers over my diaper, and then pants or shorts over that.    I've never had anybody comment, and the one time I was ever noticed was in the Doha Airport when I passed through security with a damp diaper that was flagged.

My advice is use better quality diapers.   Generally I use Abri-Form as my general all-purpose diaper and then a higher quality ABDL diaper.  I'm currently wearing a Tykeables Overnights, but they are all pretty good.   They are not cheap, but that's just part of the cost.   Better quality means they won't leak, and leaks SUCK.

It also helps to be well aware of the condition.   If I'm heading out for a longer outing, or something a little more active- I change into a fresh diaper.  Fresh diapers are easier to conceal and I'm less likely to feel conscious about them.   The secret is not to flood the diaper in one giant pee, but to let small leaks occur throughout the day.  If I'm a little fearful that my diaper might leak- I do use the toilet (my diaper, my rules- and I can use the toilet if I want to).   That also means I'm less likely to require a change, because good diapers are super absorbant and you shouldn't need to change them every 4 hours.  More like 6 hours..

Decide how you want to handle the dreaded messy diapers.    If you can't even time you BMs so they won't occur in public, your diaper is now a necessity, which makes management more of an issue than concealment.  In my case- I poop in the toilet. because don't like cleaning up my own mess.  

[Stroller]

10 hours ago, Ginger said:

I'm trying to release the worry that others will notice I'm in diapers, that they will be seen. And I don't REALLY care, uts just I'm struggling with losing that mental block.

It takes time, but it's not really that difficult, at least it wasn't for me.  Dark clothes, baggy clothes, thicker fabrics are very good at concealing.  But once you get more relaxed about it you'll probably stop worrying much.  People don't notice.  Spring's here now, and I'll be in shorts and onesies for the next few months, with a cloth nappy underneath.  These days I'm completely relaxed with it.  Just avoid tight clothes.

[JessicaRyan]

Think back to the last time you were in a public place and answer the following questions:
1. How many people were congregated in this public space?
2. What were their names?
3. How many times have you seen them before?
4. What were each of them wearing?
5. How many men and how many women?
6. How many of them were wearing diapers or had a butt plug in their ass or had a nipple piercing?
7. How many of them gave you their phone numbers, home address or social media contact details?
8. How many of them rely on you for money?
9. How many of them have you visited or phoned since you saw them in public?
10. How many times have you seen the same person twice in the same place?
11. How much did you care or notice about who they were or what they were doing?
12. If you did notice something odd what did you do about it?
13. Have you ever walked up to someone or confronted someone and said, "Hey,  I don't think those pants look good on you" or "You could do a better job styling your hair" or "Wouldn't hurt to lose a bit of weight" or "Why are you a man wearing woman's clothing" or "You walk funny" etc, etc, etc...

The answer to all the above questions is - I don't know I was too busy worrying about what everyone thought about me... Here's the newsflash - they all felt the same way.

If you are going 24/7 then you need to mentally accept that you are incontinent, and incontinent people wear diapers. There are a lot of incontinent people in the world - hence the large supply of medical diapers at the local health stores.

I say this with love - get over yourself, it is not all about you. No one cares about anyone else - they are all just worried what everyone thinks of them...

If you really want to push the envelope then go out in a dress while wearing makeup and then you'll really come face to face with the fear of being rejected by total strangers that you will never see again and that have no impact on your life in the grand scheme of things.

Be proud of who you are - just don't do any harm to anyone else.

It also helps to remember one very important truth:

You are me. I am you and we are all God.

If you are feeling judged it's because you are judging others. Let others be who they are and you will let yourself be who you are.

Peace!

[JessicaRyan]

So - my one point about the dress and makeup doesn't make sense because you are a girl and I assume you are a cis gender girl (born a girl biologically)... I am female though I was born a man, so this was something I had to deal with, being trans... It was super scary though I quickly realised that who I am and how I feel about myself is more important than the fear I had about what others (people I don't even know, and those that do) thought of me.

A lot of what we go through is made up in our head...

Remember - fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real...

Society has been setup in such a way that we are self-policing... Anyone that steps out of the box is ridiculed and rejected... Ok so what happens then?

If someone did notice you wearing a diaper in public - what would they do about it? Notify the authorities? Phone the coast guard? Alert the president? I don't think so. They will either show you empathy or try and avert their gaze like they do with someone in a wheelchair... The last thing they are thinking is - that person has a weird kink...

Oh and baby diapers are padded - that's why they work - adult diapers (the medical ones) are rubbish for the most part. It makes sense that as an incontinent person you would wear a thick abdl diaper because 

A. It means less changes
B. It means less leaking
C. It makes you feel more comfortable
D. They look adorable

Last point - no one gets a medal at the end of their life for living it the way everyone else wanted them to, so might as well live your life for you, with harm to none.

Peace and love hun xo

[Rob110]

Wearing 24/7 gets easier over time and you stop worrying about what people may or may not think, I wear one pants size up dark colour denver haynes relax fit jeans one size up) and Betterdry or other premium diapers and a onesie (Tykable solid colour). its been 5 years for me and I like you was scared at first some one would notice the buldge and that was when I wore real fit for men at the start. after a short while I realized no one noticed my diaper even after switching to the premium thicker diapers.  

Keep a back pack with you at all times I use a Skip-Hop camo sling bag its light and can carry 3 betterdry diapers (or 2 with space for wipes and gloves), you will get use to changing in public spaces just go in and change do not worry about the other people in the washroom. 

Accept you now wear diapers 24/7 and there is no longer a choice but to wear

let your family know you are dealing with an IC issue and you need to wear (takes the stress away of hiding it from them) 

be prepared to let your friends know as you will need to change at inconvenient times and places 

if you travel for work with a co worker they probably will find out you wear if you share a room.

Dealing with being diapered 24/7 is a mind set be confident in your need and dont stress if some one finds out as they will its all part of being incontinent . You will get use to informing hotels that you need a bed protector and medical staff when you go for checkups and tests when you need to strip down to your underware.

It does get  easier over time and remember you are not alone there are millions of us out there that wear 24/7 so chances are you may know some one already  

[herb330]

15 hours ago, Ginger said:

I'm currently diaper training and need some reassurance in a few things. I'm trying to release the worry that others will notice I'm in diapers, that they will be seen. And I don't REALLY care, uts just I'm struggling with losing that mental block. I want nothing more than to lose full control of both my bladder AND bowels. It's a very deep seeded need for me. How have you gotten past the mental blocks? I don't like thin diapers and I'm happiest with them full. Any words of affirmation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

The most important thing is to throw out and remove underwear. Do this immediately.  Also make sure to place in the open accessories.  Make sure baby powder, diapers, wipes and lotion are in teh open.  This will make it easier to transition.

[Ginger]

Jessica Ryan  tha k you for your responses. They are wonderful. And really resonate. I appreciate that.

rob110 thank you. That's the deal. This is life now. This is how it is. No excuses. Thank you for the reassurance

[~Brian~]

On 4/20/2020 at 4:17 PM, Ginger said:

I'm currently diaper training and need some reassurance in a few things. I'm trying to release the worry that others will notice I'm in diapers, that they will be seen. And I don't REALLY care, uts just I'm struggling with losing that mental block. I want nothing more than to lose full control of both my bladder AND bowels. It's a very deep seeded need for me. How have you gotten past the mental blocks? I don't like thin diapers and I'm happiest with them full. Any words of affirmation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

Good Afternoon Ginger:

The First thing is, NOT to worry about the decision you have made.  Many people, me included, were "worried" at some point with someone finding out about your wearing/using diapers.  I would not worry about that, but I would be prepared for the transition.  Most of that "found out" fear is based on what you THINK other people will think of your decision.  This leads to you thinking someone may think less of you because you wear/use diapers - BELIEVE me when I tell you, wearing a diaper is no big deal, using it is not that big of a deal either. 

The main thing that you want to be careful of is making sure that wherever you are, you are prepared to deal with a diaper change, be it wet or messy, and sometimes these can be inconvenient and can be unpleasant, but if you have a way to deal with the problem of changing/cleaning yourself up/disposing of a used dirty diaper, you should be OK:  Remember, you are making a transition, so you will have to make decisions on how/when/how fast it will happen.  You should always carry a bag for your diapers/wipes/rash cream/change pad/powder/dry clothing, and any plastic bags to eliminate the dirty items after a change, and maybe a deodorizer to make sure that you can deal with spraying good smelling cologne or perfume after a change:  I carry 5 Megamax, and a trash bag, a zip lock bag with powder/rash cream, and anything I may need.  I also have a few Prevail Underpads for use on my wheelchair.  Preparation is the KEY, but once that is done, it is basically a decision as to how and when, and WHO you are going to reveal your secret to:  The people that are closest to you will most likely find out, but It will be up to YOU as to who you tell about this.   Tell the people that you TRUST, and that you think NEED to KNOW about it - other than that, it is no one else's business, unless you make it their business. 

Me, being disabled, incontinent, and dealing with diverticulitis, I deal with bouts where it doesn't bother me for a while, and then I end up having a problem for a while.  When I do have a problem occurrence, I am HAPPY that I made the decision to deal with this condition using diapers, and as I age, it may come to the time where I will have NO CHOICE, and I may lose more control - As Long as I have what I need, the support of my friends and family, and can deal with this effectively, it won't bother me.  If people find out about it, there is a medical diagnosis for BOTH diverticulitis and incontinence on my medical record, so there will be NO question of the need. 

In your case, because you are "training" to be incon. both ways, you should be advised that whatever you do you are "undoing potty training."  You should always be cautious and not use laxatives or suppositories too much, as they can cause problems for you.   If you do it the wrong way, you can cause damage to your systems, become dehydrated, and end up with unintended consequences - this type of Incontinence is known as a desire - The reason I caution you is because there are people who WANT to be incontinent and are NOT, and sometimes they do not grasp the consequences of this decision - If you "undo" Potty Training, you may NOT get it back again, and you WILL NEED diapers for the rest of your life, so this is something that should not be done lightly. 

The End Result will be: You will be voiding Pee/Poop without even THINKING about it, so it will be necessary to be diapered at all times, regardless of where you are, and you will probably slowly lose control are you proceed - You will also want some Plastic Pants to cover your diapers, and as everyone else here has stated, Have FUN with it.  Accept who you are, and once you do that, and are comfortable with the decision, it will be easier to deal with over time. 

I want nothing more than to lose full control of both my bladder AND bowels. It's a very deep seeded need for me. How have you gotten past the mental blocks? I don't like thin diapers and I'm happiest with them full. Any words of affirmation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

If you are talking about the "mental blocks" that we all have in our heads:  These were placed here when we were 1-2-3 year olds, when our parents told us that it was not appropriate to pee/poop your pants like you did when you were a baby.  When you are a baby, there ***ARE NO BLOCKS*** because we just GO - when we "potty train" we learn that this behavior is not appropriate, and the proper place to relieve yourself is in a bathroom on a toilet - These actions ***are deep seeded*** and are intrinsic - You basically have to train yourself that pee and poop belong in diapers, and that it is OK to release at anytime, anywhere.

What you probably should do is: Make the transition:  If you want 24/7 diapers, prepare for it by getting rid of your underwear and put your supplies in the drawer or in a place in the bathroom if convenient.  Then, start wearing your chosen diaper, making sure it works for you:  If you decide for Plastic Pants, order some of those (Garywear are my favorites and work well)  Then, put a Diaper on, and drink a TON of water or eat lots of fiber, to loosen things up,  When you feel the need to release, just let it happen, and when you have to poop, just let it happen: But be prepared for leaks or messes - and understand that it will take time:  when you are actually releasing, FEEL IT - Enjoy it, Embrace it - This is what you want to have happen, and you will find that after a while, you wont THINK about it, it will just happen.

I don't like thin diapers either:  I have tried several:  even the AB/DL and Adult Diapers:  There are also those that are "Incontinence Briefs" like the MegaMax by Northshore:  I want plastic backed diapers that are able to deal with what I release:  Most diapers are "Tabbed Underwear" and they stink:  They cant HOLD anything, so a BM would be a mess, and in most cases you would FLOOD out the brief.  My Recommendation: NorthShore Megamax Diapers - Best ever made

Feel free to PM if you want and Good Luck!

Brian

[spark]

On 4/22/2020 at 12:55 PM, baker7 said:

 

I don't like thin diapers either:  I have tried several:  even the AB/DL and Adult Diapers:  There are also those that are "Incontinence Briefs" like the MegaMax by Northshore:  I want plastic backed diapers that are able to deal with what I release:  Most diapers are "Tabbed Underwear" and they stink:  They cant HOLD anything, so a BM would be a mess, and in most cases you would FLOOD out the brief.  My Recommendation: NorthShore Megamax Diapers - Best ever made

Feel free to PM if you want and Good Luck!

Brian

Not that it has anything to do with conditioning yourself to use a diaper, but I've noticed there is a little bit of subjectivity in how the different diapers act.   The first time I realized it was when I tried the Dry 24/7, which has great reviews.   I couldn't get one to fit right, and I have a pretty basic build.   It was just not a great diaper for me.   The same thing happened when I tried the Megamax.   This time it wasn't the fit, but the way the gel swelled when wet that feel very comfortable.    I found myself ready to change much earlier than expect because the gel felt clammy.  The Tykebles Overnights can be saturated and I won't feel the claminess.  It's a great diaper for me.   I love Abena Abri-form as a standard everyday diaper, but some reviews don't like them as well.   I think getting diapers that work for you and that you trust is critical.

At least in my experience- by the time you've conditioned yourself to the point where diapers are required- you've already understood the issues that comes with incontinence.  It's not like your going to spend a week in diapers and decide "This isn't what I want anymore," but now you need them for the rest of your life.   I've never done the 100% commitment to diapers, and I'm still don't fully require diapers 24/7.   In most cases, I would be able use the toilet should I choose to, but I rarely do. 

For me- going 24/7 (or close to it) finally put an end to those unhealthy urgest that sometimes gets associated with this.  I finally accepted that I wore diapers- and there was less anxiety around why I was doing it.

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, spark said:

Not that it has anything to do with conditioning yourself to use a diaper, but I've noticed there is a little bit of subjectivity in how the different diapers act.   The first time I realized it was when I tried the Dry 24/7, which has great reviews.   I couldn't get one to fit right, and I have a pretty basic build.   It was just not a great diaper for me.   The same thing happened when I tried the Megamax.   This time it wasn't the fit, but the way the gel swelled when wet that feel very comfortable.    I found myself ready to change much earlier than expect because the gel felt clammy.  The Tykebles Overnights can be saturated and I won't feel the claminess.  It's a great diaper for me.   I love Abena Abri-form as a standard everyday diaper, but some reviews don't like them as well.   I think getting diapers that work for you and that you trust is critical.

At least in my experience- by the time you've conditioned yourself to the point where diapers are required- you've already understood the issues that comes with incontinence.  It's not like your going to spend a week in diapers and decide "This isn't what I want anymore," but now you need them for the rest of your life.   I've never done the 100% commitment to diapers, and I'm still don't fully require diapers 24/7.   In most cases, I would be able use the toilet should I choose to, but I rarely do. 

For me- going 24/7 (or close to it) finally put an end to those unhealthy urgest that sometimes gets associated with this.  I finally accepted that I wore diapers- and there was less anxiety around why I was doing it.

@spark

Sometimes, if you are used to using the toilet, you may have to change the way you deal with that, if your intention is to go 24/7.  By that I mean, that you would not get up when you feel the need to release, and then run to the bathroom to do it - You would just release in your diaper.  If you are Potty Trained, you would have to tell yourself that you would do it that way.  That is what I mean by "conditioning"  You have to unlearn certain behaviors.

If you are conditioned, as you say, you already know that your going to need to use diapers - Once you resign yourself to this, there is really no way you can go back, because you would have a heck of a time doing it, and you would have to potty train again, and by that point, it would probably not be productive, because by that time, you are so used to using the diapers, and there may NOT be a way to go back - That is why I have seen people WARNED that Incontinence desires may backfire - and the journey is not one to be taken lightly - You may get more than you bargained for, and I would hate to see someone hurt themselves to get there, and then they regret it - If done right, it shouldn't be too bad, but the risk is still there....

Diapers:  NOT all Diapers are created equal:  It used to be that a diaper was a PLASTIC BACKED, white, crinkly garment.  Now, you have most companies going cloth backed, and companies in my view are sacrificing capacity and quality to save MONEY - I have said that there are many diapers out there, and each person has their own experiences with them.  Some brands work WELL for some people, while others do not - The most IMPORTANT thing is the FIT and CAPACITY of the diaper:  If you are NOT using the ones that fit you best and work for you, than you are wasting time, and money.  You are RIGHT:  without the right Diapers and other supports, which you have to TRUST, then you will have problems.

I too, have accepted that diapers will be a part of my life, and that as I age, I may lose control without wanting to:  I would rather have the Diaper ON, than to have an accident when I don't, and then have to clean up a big mess:  I always tell people that a diaper is "another form of underwear" and that if someone "finds out" than don't worry about that, because diaper use is not "unhealthy" and there are people that use them - it is not uncommon, but it all boils down to acceptance - and that is something people have to work out for themselves - and even if they didn't accept it, you do what you think is right, and it is no one elses concern

Take Care,

Brian

[Ginger]

Well its been a few weeks now and I'm doing great! I'm noticing that I wet in smaller frequent amounts so I'm always wet. I still occasionally flood but I have my megamax diapees and they stand the pressure. Lol messing doesn't happen automatically as of yet, but I only mess in my diapees. I havent used the toilet at all. Ive got some Gary wear briefs to wear over my diapers and they help alot with keeping them from sagging, leaking and with odor control. Very good purchase indeed. I also think they help co coal the diaper bulge under my cute outfits and that has gelped a ton with my confidence. This is the best decision I have made in a long g time and I'm so happy I just caved and committed. Thank you all for your support. You have been such a good support system. I cant wait to be fully dependent. It's an indescribable sense of security going forward in my new diapered life. 

 

[oznl]

Glad to hear you're enjoying the trip!  I'm not so concerned with odor control so much myself since mostly, I'm only wet but the Gary pants are indispensable for minor leak insurance when out and about (or at the office back in the day when I was allowed to go to it).  I also use a compression pant to help with noise and visuals.  I think it also helps a little bit with minor leakage by keeping my nappy pressed gently against me.

If you're looking for incontinence, just be prepared for developments to "flatten out" for a long period of time.  For me, the first sign of emerging dependency was waking up in the morning with no clear idea of how or when my nappy got wet.  I *love* not being woken by my full bladder at 4am any more though.  I still have usable day control but I tend to forget how much or when I may have wet during the day now.  I rely on time/diaper weight to guide me on changing times.

I remain slightly in awe at the volume and weight of trash this practice generates though  ?

Don't forget to look after your skin down there.  The best diaper rash cure is avoidance.

Also, do you have a trusted somebody who will let you know if you can be smelled?  Olfactory habituation (aka "nose blindness") is a thing with this.  As the wearer, we are the worst-qualified to judge if we can be smelled by others.

 

[Autiesaurus]

I'm heading towards the goal of incontinence as well.  I'm focusing primarily on bladder, but thanks to IBS, I'm already partially bowel incontinent.  I've been wearing 24/7 for the better part of two years now, but only in the last week or so have I been focusing hard on untraining.  I'm releasing whenever I have to, and keeping my sphincter open at all times.  I've noticed it's become a lot easier to wet sitting down, which used to be a struggle for me.  I've also had a couple of mornings when I couldn't remember how my diaper got wet, which was particularly exciting.  It's a big commitment, but if it makes us feel happier and more secure, there's no reason not to go for it.  Good luck on your journey OP, I look forward to hearing your progress reports!