JessicaRyan

Mommy DL (diapered 24/7 and diaper dependent) Dom looking for baby girl AB sub for online training and care giving.

So - my one point about the dress and makeup doesn't make sense because you are a girl and I assume you are a cis gender girl (born a girl biologically)... I am female though I was born a man, so this was something I had to deal with, being trans... It was super scary though I quickly realised that who I am and how I feel about myself is more important than the fear I had about what others (people I don't even know, and those that do) thought of me. A lot of what we go through is made up in our head... Remember - fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real... Society has been setup in such a way that we are self-policing... Anyone that steps out of the box is ridiculed and rejected... Ok so what happens then? If someone did notice you wearing a diaper in public - what would they do about it? Notify the authorities? Phone the coast guard? Alert the president? I don't think so. They will either show you empathy or try and avert their gaze like they do with someone in a wheelchair... The last thing they are thinking is - that person has a weird kink... Oh and baby diapers are padded - that's why they work - adult diapers (the medical ones) are rubbish for the most part. It makes sense that as an incontinent person you would wear a thick abdl diaper because A. It means less changes B. It means less leaking C. It makes you feel more comfortable D. They look adorable Last point - no one gets a medal at the end of their life for living it the way everyone else wanted them to, so might as well live your life for you, with harm to none. Peace and love hun xo

Plugs definitely work... Slowly work your way from small to large... I have been at it for about three months and I am currently able to insert a coke can in my ass and am working my way to 8cm and then 10 and then 15 and then all the way up to the late twenties... If you want to see a girl that has achieved some great destruction of the butthole do some searching on Pornhub for Siswet19... You could also do some searching for DirtyGardenGirl - her asshole is totally fucked and I am quite certain she is incontinent as a result. If you look under my profile you will find an article I wrote with clear steps on how to get great results using plugs to totally destroy your sphincter muscle. I followed these steps and they are definitely working for me. So far as anal sex is concerned, two options here - either find a partner that enjoys scat OR give yourself an enema 30 minutes before having sex... If there is nothing inside you then nothing will come out... Just realise that you might end up having to be fisted or let your partner stuff you with giant toys because a nice thick cock probably won't feel like anything... Remember, the goal when using the plug is to not contract the muscles and to let the body push it out. That's the part that's being trained. You want your sphincter to get used to automatically pushing something out the moment it feels pressure... I am now at a stage where I don't have to do any pushing or bending over - it all comes out by itself... I can't wait to see what happens when my asshole is stretched to a 28 cm diameter... I started 24/7 diaper training five months ago. I don't think about having to pee or poop - I have completely handed this over to my subconscious mind and I aid it by always staying relaxed and making sure I change when my diapee is full as leaks happen and for some reason my brain knows this - I guess with time this will also change to the point where it will not matter. What I set out to achieve five months ago is now my new normal. I will be in diapers for the rest of my life and what was once a tight butthole is now becoming a permanently gaping lose opening that will never properly close ever again. I would never do this really, though a tattoo saying "Insert fists here" would be perfect

Think back to the last time you were in a public place and answer the following questions: 1. How many people were congregated in this public space? 2. What were their names? 3. How many times have you seen them before? 4. What were each of them wearing? 5. How many men and how many women? 6. How many of them were wearing diapers or had a butt plug in their ass or had a nipple piercing? 7. How many of them gave you their phone numbers, home address or social media contact details? 8. How many of them rely on you for money? 9. How many of them have you visited or phoned since you saw them in public? 10. How many times have you seen the same person twice in the same place? 11. How much did you care or notice about who they were or what they were doing? 12. If you did notice something odd what did you do about it? 13. Have you ever walked up to someone or confronted someone and said, "Hey, I don't think those pants look good on you" or "You could do a better job styling your hair" or "Wouldn't hurt to lose a bit of weight" or "Why are you a man wearing woman's clothing" or "You walk funny" etc, etc, etc... The answer to all the above questions is - I don't know I was too busy worrying about what everyone thought about me... Here's the newsflash - they all felt the same way. If you are going 24/7 then you need to mentally accept that you are incontinent, and incontinent people wear diapers. There are a lot of incontinent people in the world - hence the large supply of medical diapers at the local health stores. I say this with love - get over yourself, it is not all about you. No one cares about anyone else - they are all just worried what everyone thinks of them... If you really want to push the envelope then go out in a dress while wearing makeup and then you'll really come face to face with the fear of being rejected by total strangers that you will never see again and that have no impact on your life in the grand scheme of things. Be proud of who you are - just don't do any harm to anyone else. It also helps to remember one very important truth: You are me. I am you and we are all God. If you are feeling judged it's because you are judging others. Let others be who they are and you will let yourself be who you are. Peace!

Reverse kegals are really good for weakening the pelvic floor. In terms of the plug - it's not so much stretching the asshole as it is weakening the sphincter. If you go back to the 12-month program you'll remember that it was all about waiting for pressure and then slightly bending over so that the BM would push out by itself. You can speed up this process by using a plug to create the pressure and mimic the BM. There are some really good plugs for stretching here: https://www.meo.de/en/ The grommets and the anal stretching rings are amazing as well as the dilators (so big!). Choose the plug (I recommend starting with the grommets) and insert the size that fits without any pain then let it fall out on its own, first by bending over slightly and eventually it will fall out when standing up straight. Work your way up the size chart (the largest are very large) and eventually that asshole will be as loose as can be. One very important thing is do not contract the sphincter when the plug falls out or else you are using the muscle, and the point is to get it used to not being able to hold anything. Just maintain the same relaxation as has been practiced during the 12-month program. A good test is to get your wife to jump up and down when she feels abdominal pressure and everything will just fall out. This is also good for weakening that pelvic floor even more. When you have worked your way up to the biggest of both sets of plugs, and the sphincter is totally useless, start working your way up the size chart on the dilators for 30 minutes everyday, also letting them slide out on their own. The diameter of the largest dilator is quite a bit larger than the largest plugs so it will give her a really nice, lasting stretch and further weaken her sphincter. In no time at all your wife will achieve her goal and you'll also be able to fist her, probably with both hands, leaving her with a gorgeous gaping asshole. Fun Fun

Thank you so much for the reply and taking the time to let me know your thoughts... I really appreciate your feedback. It will definitely help me make a more informed decision... Perhaps the solution is to use plastic backed diapers though wash them after use and just pop them in a plastic recycling bin...

Heya friends I am in diapers 24/7 due to urinary and bowel incontinence and have been using disposables though am quite keen on moving over to Rearz pocket diapers while using the bamboo 5 layer inserts x 3, because they are cheaper long term and friendlier to the environment . Has anyone had any experience with these? 1. Do they wick? 2. Do they leak? 3. Are they suitable for heavy wetting - any idea what volume they can hold? 4. Does one need to use plastic pants with them? 5. Are they equal to or better than the Rearz plastic back disposable diapers? 6. Do they do anything to mask odors? 7. Any other pros or cons? I have to import them and it's a bit of money so I just want to make sure I am making the right move here and I can't find a solid review anywhere... Thank you so much for your help and your time. xo Jess

Thank you for such a detailed response and for sharing yourself so freely. Looking forward to reading more of your updates in the future. Good luck with your goal my friend xo

Thank you again for sharing. So naturally being petty much completely IC and wearing 24/7 you face certain interactions with other people. You mention in your post that your body does what it needs to do when it needs to do it and your diaper does the job it is intended for.... SO I guess my question is, do you tell people you are IC? How do they respond to you, have you noticed anyone treating you any different? What was the reason you gave people knowing that one day you were fine and the next day you wear wearing diapers 24/7... Has being gay helped make it easier for you to be open about this part of yourself? Which was harder - coming out as gay or coming out as a ABDL or coming out as IC? I totally get the whole impotent goal. Being trans I have the same goal, maybe for different reasons, though I totally understand the want to have a tiny clit with the only option for sex being anal, and of course being a bottom (not quite sure about SRS just yet)... Have you listened to Curse of the teeny weeny on warpmymind dot com? Sarnoga is a great hypnotist IMO... Some will say it works and others will say it does not - my conclusion is it totally depends on what the individual believes... Take a look at the image gallery to see the results others have had... I imagine you play with plugs? When one combines the stretching from a plug with the relaxing of the sphincter I imagine it really creates the perfect storm for an asshole that can't hold anything in... What has been your experience with this? Also, have you had any experience with long-tern wear of tunnel plugs? You really are super for answering all my questions and sharing so openly. Thank you so much for taking the time to do that, and once again congratulations on achieving your goals

Thank you so much for your response. It really sounds like you have passed the point of no return. It gives me great excitement as to what to look forward to a year from now. Did you make any adjustments to your diet when compared to the 12-month program? Also do you have any learnings, when reflecting back on the last 12 months, that if you were able to get into a time machine and start the entire process over again, would make you do some things differently? What are your goals for the next 12 months? Thanks again for your time and detailed response. Well done on staying true to who you are and not being another sheep that is controlled by the social constructs of this world.

Congratulations on achieving your goal, I look so forward to being where you are in a year from now. I am only a little over 1 month in - so far to go still, though your story is very encouraging. To just be voiding at any moment throughout the day with absolutely no control, what a pleasure. With your sphincter having been totally relaxed all the time for over a year now do those muscles still exist or have they atrophied to the point where they have been reabsorbed into the body? Or is that something that would only happen after five years? How does it feel if you try and contract those muscles? I imagine even if you do they don't work any more so you are absolutely unable to stop 1 or 2 from voiding? Do you think you would ever be able to retrain yourself back to continence? Also, how do you handle having sex with the concern that you might leek either 1 or 2 on your partner during intercourse? Oh my gosh, so many questions - I hope that is ok

So I have been on the 12 month program since Nov 25... My entire focus has been on keeping my sphincters relaxed and to not be in a position where I need to contract them after peeing or a BM. So basically as per the instructions, maintain the relaxed tone one has when going, all the time. You know what I am talking about, you have read the program. What's interesting is the observation of how much tension of the sphincters is subconsciously caused by other body movements. For instance, getting up from sitting or lying down automatically causes those muscles to contract. Being in public automatically causes those muscles to contract. Breathing automatically causes those muscles to contract, etc. When I noticed this I was looking for a way to stop it because the goal is to never tense those muscles. Actually not use them at all. My first challenge, due to it being the first observation, was to not contract these muscles when getting up. What seemed like a natural way of doing this was to bear down ever so slightly - the opposite of contracting them, though not ideal because I was still using the muscles. The other problem with this was that if I was in a constant state of bearing down, despite how much, while awake, when I would pee or have a BM, my muscles would want to contract because I found that I was not breathing because I was so focused on not contracting while bearing down. So on the in breath a contraction would take place. I was going to have to find another way to get this right. I realized that throughout these experiences there was one common subconscious behavior taking place - my breathing. If I was able to separate my breathing from the use of those muscles then I would be able to keep them relaxed and never use them, achieve the goal of the program and help atrophy take place quicker. The means to separate my breath from the use of these muscles was something I learned in Pranayam - yogic breathing, breathing in using my stomach instead of my lungs. When I started doing this I noticed that I was able to completely separate my sphincter muscles from the rest of my body and keep them in total relaxation the entire time regardless of what I was doing. In fact, they are so separated that it almost feels like paralysis or a numbness in that part of my body. I asked a question to the community a few days ago about bladder spasms and how to handle them. One of the members replied saying just focus on something else, the mind will take care of it. It's difficult to focus on something else when this is happening, however it is not difficult to focus on yogic breath. I have been focusing on my breath for about two weeks though only really getting into it in the past week. I have not tried to see if I can use the muscles to control any release of pee of BM so I really have no idea if I can - it's early days so I imagine if I did start using the muscles it would be a day or two and I would be back to being potty trained, though the point of being incontinent is to not use those muscles and because I am now mentally incontinent I have no reason to try. In my mind they don't exist. I started bed wetting two days ago. I have not wet the bed since I was a kid. I am very excited about this progress and I really think that separating my breathing from the use of those muscles has indeed helped get here sooner. Having a goodnite pull up under a molicare super plus diaper with plastic pants for extra protection also helps - if I am confident in my protection my mind is at ease and can relax, this helps. When I pee it happens automatically and when I have a BM I just have to bend over slightly and everything comes out without any pushing whatsoever. The diet helps. More and more I am finding my pee being released without any awareness that I need to pee. I am constantly drinking throughout the day, I work from home and I don't deal with people directly so I am able to really and truly be 24/7. My wife is fully aware of what I am doing and has no problem with it. I am also transgender and she has no problem with that either. Amazing woman, that's for sure. My soulmate, no doubt. The most interesting thing for me is the understanding of how to program the subconscious mind through breath. Being able to do this for incontinence means I am able to do this with other things. Also if I can take something that was conscious and make it subconscious then I can do the reverse, which means changing any belief system I currently have about other things in my life. I truly believe that there is a great deal of spirituality attached to going through this program. For me spirituality is freeing my mind, expressing my free will (with harm to none) and being who I am in the face of social constructs created due to way the top 1% of the world control everyone else using religion, capitalism and the illusion of democracy. It's all absolutely fascinating. xo Jess

Thanks for the reply oznl. There's no doubt what I am experiencing are spasms. The rapid contraction and expansion of something related to my bladder. They are quite intense though only last a few seconds - I have to breath quite deeply in and out when this happens while focusing on relaxing... Sometimes they are so intense it forces my sphincter to contract for a second or two on my urethra and anus - which is quite a strange feeling as I have not contracted either of them since I started going 24/7 just over a month ago... This is happening about 90% of the time. The other 10% of the time I feel an urge and then just warmth of pee filling my diaper. I know that according to the program I am approaching the point of not feeling when I am going... I am looking very forward to the 10% becoming the 100%

Excellent, thank you so much for your response, time and help