What I (don't) like about my self induced incontinence

[cathdiap]

Maybe I am just plain crazy, but even though I choose to be incontinent 3 to 4 days per week, there are plenty of reasons why I hate incontinence. But at the same time the things I hate about it are also the reason why I want to become incontinent so often. I guess I like experiencing the limitations that come with incontinence.

Incontinence will always be taboo and diapers are therefore something you would rather hide. But I found out that it is very hard to hide the fact you need to wear diapers, especially from people that you are frequently around with. It takes lots and lots of measurements and you will soon find yourself organizing your life around the right clothes, the right (amount of) diapers and diaper changes to remain discreet about them. I have been on the verge of telling certain people, just to make my diapered life easier, but so far I haven't had the nerves to overcome the possible shame that it would bring to me. The only time I really exposed myself in a diaper was to a surgeon, but I knew he could never use that against me and the chances of ever seeing him again were close to zero. But sharing this deep desire of mine with an outsider was exciting and reasuring at the same time. 

On the other hand, when I try to imagine a life in which everybody would know about my "incontinence " and fully accept my diapers, I think it would make my play less exciting, maybe even boring, just because there would be nothing left to be ashamed for. 

Here is a list of all the things I hate, but at the same time like about being incontinent:

- Diapers limit your mobility,  you don't squat or bend over as easy as without wearing a diaper. You have to spread your legs even more when sitting. Crossing your legs when seated is a no go when the diaper is wet as it will likely cause it to leak 

- Diapers are thicker when they get wet, they will show easier. Your trousers have to be wide enough to handle a wet diaper, if not the chance of leaking will increase.

- You will often feel the urge to touch your diaper at the bottom to determine whether it is safe to sit down or wait for the next diaper change, which will raise suspicion if done in public.

- If you have to change diapers at the office it is hard to take your fresh diaper to the toilet without showing. 

- It is just as hard to take your wet diaper out of that toilet without showing.

- It is hard to change a diaper in a public restroom not making the specific sounds that almost everyone will recognize.

- Sometimes you just cannot change your almost flooding diaper.

- No matter how hard you try to prevent it, you will have leaks every now and then, and leave stains on chairs or couches.

- A wet diaper will sometimes smell.

- A half wet diaper already feels wet and uncomfortable. So half of the time that you wear diapers you will feel wet and a little dirty.

- You will wet the bed regularly and therefore need to change the sheets a few times per week or you will have to use bedprotection.

- Sometimes it is hard to feel the difference between a wet diaper and a very wet diaper. Making leaks more likely to happen.

- Riding a bicycle you will have to change your diapers twice as much. No wet diaper can handle that kind of pressure.

- Visiting the toilet for number two you will sometimes have to put back on a cold only half wet diaper.

- Diapers limit the choice of clothes. Dark and wider trouser or shorts are obligate, so are long shirts or sweaters. 

- Diapers will at least double the waste you produce. You will have to take care of the smell that wet diapers produce after only a few days.

- Diapers are expensive. 

- Swimming pools, beach time, sauna's and spa's are history.

- Every trip will raise the question how many hours or days it will last. How many diapers do I need and how do I take them with me or where can I buy them? Every change of plans could be a problem.

That's it for now. Please feel free to add some of your "love it, hate it" things about diapers or incontinence.

[Stephan]

@cathdiap thank you for your contribution.
I think that with the stent wiedu that make very interesting and would like to do it myself. But I'm missing something of the courage. My biggest fear is that the stent slips into the bladder and I can not get it out anymore.
I did not fully understand how you made it.

The disadvantages that you mentioned, and certainly all have experienced yourself, are understandable and are part of it. Voluntary incontinence also has its problems.

I've often thought about becoming an incontinent. So without stent and other tools to uncontrol the sphincter.

But if it's different from what you imagined, you can not easily get back and regain control. It's easier with a stent. You pull it out again and everything is okay again.

I would really have to try that with the stent. The experience is definitely great, with all the positive and negative things.

Best regards

[cathdiap]

Hi Stephan,

If you want to know how I make my stent, you can visit my account Raelforreal on fetlife.com (you will have to sign on first). You will find a series of pictures of my stent making with a description.

Yes, there is a chance that the stent slides into the bladder. However,  the stents that I make have a retrieval line, so if that happens I can always pull it out with the help of that line.

Hope this helps. Play safe and have fun!

[dlnoir]

I do have to say I can’t think of a single think I would like to add, your extensive list about covers it all.? It is nice to see to see a summary like that it makes you think about all the pros and cons, very helpful. I’ve gone over the list a couple of times. Out of all given pros and cons only three cons remain an issue every so now and then:

 - Sometimes you just cannot change your almost flooding diaper. This has happened and it can be nerve wrecking.?

 - Riding a bicycle you will have to change your diapers twice as much. No wet diaper can handle that kind of pressure. True, if I have to ride my bike which I do on daily basis I’ll change my diaper prior to riding my bike.

 - Swimming pools, beach time, sauna's and spa's are history. This is about the only time I’ll go without a diaper.

 For all the other mentioned points I think I have found a workable solution. Or do not care enough if something goes wrong and therefor I do not consider is a con. ?

 

[cathdiap]

@dlnoir keeping in mind everything you have experienced while being incontinent, would you consider an incontinent person to be handicapped or disabled? Or is incontinence just a minor limitation without social impact or consequences?

 

[stevewet]

13 hours ago, cathdiap said:

@dlnoir keeping in mind everything you have experienced while being incontinent, would you consider an incontinent person to be handicapped or disabled? Or is incontinence just a minor limitation without social impact or consequences?

 

My continence nurse says it is a disability.

[cathdiap]

1 hour ago, stevewet said:

My continence nurse says it is a disability.

And do you agree? 

[dlnoir]

@cathdiapWell that is a tough one to answer for it will vary from person to person and I do not want to offend anybody by my answer. One should be careful to label something like incontinence if it can be labeled at all. There is a topic about the question “is incontinence a disability or a handicap” outcome was rather inconclusive if I remember correctly. Some consider it a handicap while others feel more or less disabled being incontinent. I suppose it comes down to one’s personal perspective on incontinence and how they build their life around it. Even more so in what stage of your life do you find yourself at the moment, if you are young and attend school for instance it is so much different and difficult as if you were to compare it to an older person like me. I am afraid there is no answer that fits the bill completely. I’ve gone over your extensive list and the three items I took out of your list are the ones that throw me for a loop every so now and then. As you know for the most part I live my life as if I were truly incontinent which makes me feel complete and happy. I do recognize all the points mentioned in your list but for the most part I found ways to deal with it or I feel they do not apply for me (anymore). Unlike you I have told numerous people in my direct vicinity about me wearing diapers and to my great relief they all responded nicely and open minded. Telling others made my diapered life so easier to cope with. I prefer to wear lose fitting clothes I always did so no need for me to adapt anything in that aria. I do almost everything while being diapered go to work, go to the gym, go to social gatherings, business trips you name it. Maybe I am just lucky I don’t know, but wearing diapers 24/7 doesn’t cause me any headaches or seems to have a big impact on my life. In all fairness I do see and feel it can have limitations and can cause havoc in one’s social life and therefor have serious consequences. And true, this may sound a little hypocritical, if needed I can go without diapers I do not like it I rarely do but I can that is another reassuring thing.

 To get to the bottom line of your question. One can wallow in self-pity and feel very sorry for themselves or one can make the best of it and maybe even embrace the given fact. Between these two are hundreds of variations and possibilities. I know some incontinent people took their incontinence for a given fact and decided to not allow it to ruin their lives. I am happy for them they found ways to deal with it like that. Although my incontinence is self-induced with an on and off switch in my case my feelings and thoughts lean toward little social impact and little social consequences, but that is jusy me.

[cathdiap]

Thanks for your great response dlnoir.

Personally I do think incontinence is a serious disability. So many social interactions get disturbed or complicated when you have to wear diapers. Sex would be the main one. But also all kinds of group sctivities like bicycling and hiking with friends or family become a hinderance. Swimming, public sauna and beach time are an absolute no go.

For me it is fun for a while, just like some people enjoy being handcuffed for a while. But no way would I choose to desire incontinence for the rest of my life. And that says it all I think. 

 

[rusty pins]

I think there is a difference between the term "Disability" and "Handicap".  When you can do something, you have that ability.  If it's something you can't do, weather it's something most people can normally do or just something beyond your capabilities, you have a disability.  That just means you don't have the ability to do it.  Is that a bad thing?  Not necessarily.  I may not have the ability to go mountain climbing at my age with my arthritis but that is one of the last things I would want to do anyway!  Not being able to climb mountains may be a disability to me but it is far from what I would consider a handicap.  If I wasn't physically able to drive a car, that would be a disability.  If I didn't need to ever drive a car, it wouldn't be a handicap, but if I had to drive a car to get around to shop, work, whatever and I didn't have the ability to drive, then it would be both a disability and a handicap.

To keep it in context for the subject of this post, if I had made myself incontinent and was unable to control my bladder, bowels or both, that would be a disability (unable to control my eliminations).  If I hated it and having to wear diapers 24/7/365 caused me distress or caused me problems in life (even if only occasionally), then it might be considered a handicap.  This could be anything from mental or physical distress at having to be in diapers or times when I couldn't do things comfortably or not at all due to being in diapers, then it could also be a handicap.  If a person made themselves incontinent and were no longer able to control their bladder and/or bowels, it would be a disability (no ability to control their eliminations).  If they didn't mind wearing diapers 24/7/365, didn't care who knows they wear diapers or who sees them in diapers, if they were not bothered by changing diapers in a restroom full of people, didn't care if they messed their diaper among friends and coworkers (and I'm not trying to get on anyone here) and just lived a normal happy life doing anything they wanted without letting diapers be an issue, then it's not a handicap for them.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

60 yrstd ago, the term "handicap" was used for all physical impairments. "Disabled" and "impared" and their derivatives came much later. Now "handicap" seems to refer to those needing wheelchars. Thus, 60 years aog, both a person who was legally blind , using a wheelchair, retarded, mute, or very deaf, were all called "handicapped" with the specific handicaps being subsets

[stevewet]

On 8/10/2019 at 9:53 PM, cathdiap said:

And do you agree? 

In a way yes but it doesn't bother me at all.

[DaveeBEd]

On 8/7/2019 at 4:17 PM, cathdiap said:

Maybe I am just plain crazy, but even though I choose to be incontinent 3 to 4 days per week, there are plenty of reasons why I hate incontinence. But at the same time the things I hate about it are also the reason why I want to become incontinent so often. I guess I like experiencing the limitations that come with incontinence.

Incontinence will always be taboo and diapers are therefore something you would rather hide. But I found out that it is very hard to hide the fact you need to wear diapers, especially from people that you are frequently around with. It takes lots and lots of measurements and you will soon find yourself organizing your life around the right clothes, the right (amount of) diapers and diaper changes to remain discreet about them. I have been on the verge of telling certain people, just to make my diapered life easier, but so far I haven't had the nerves to overcome the possible shame that it would bring to me. The only time I really exposed myself in a diaper was to a surgeon, but I knew he could never use that against me and the chances of ever seeing him again were close to zero. But sharing this deep desire of mine with an outsider was exciting and reasuring at the same time. 

On the other hand, when I try to imagine a life in which everybody would know about my "incontinence " and fully accept my diapers, I think it would make my play less exciting, maybe even boring, just because there would be nothing left to be ashamed for. 

Here is a list of all the things I hate, but at the same time like about being incontinent:

- Diapers limit your mobility,  you don't squat or bend over as easy as without wearing a diaper. You have to spread your legs even more when sitting. Crossing your legs when seated is a no go when the diaper is wet as it will likely cause it to leak 

- Diapers are thicker when they get wet, they will show easier. Your trousers have to be wide enough to handle a wet diaper, if not the chance of leaking will increase.

- You will often feel the urge to touch your diaper at the bottom to determine whether it is safe to sit down or wait for the next diaper change, which will raise suspicion if done in public.

- If you have to change diapers at the office it is hard to take your fresh diaper to the toilet without showing. 

- It is just as hard to take your wet diaper out of that toilet without showing.

- It is hard to change a diaper in a public restroom not making the specific sounds that almost everyone will recognize.

- Sometimes you just cannot change your almost flooding diaper.

- No matter how hard you try to prevent it, you will have leaks every now and then, and leave stains on chairs or couches.

- A wet diaper will sometimes smell.

- A half wet diaper already feels wet and uncomfortable. So half of the time that you wear diapers you will feel wet and a little dirty.

- You will wet the bed regularly and therefore need to change the sheets a few times per week or you will have to use bedprotection.

- Sometimes it is hard to feel the difference between a wet diaper and a very wet diaper. Making leaks more likely to happen.

- Riding a bicycle you will have to change your diapers twice as much. No wet diaper can handle that kind of pressure.

- Visiting the toilet for number two you will sometimes have to put back on a cold only half wet diaper.

- Diapers limit the choice of clothes. Dark and wider trouser or shorts are obligate, so are long shirts or sweaters. 

- Diapers will at least double the waste you produce. You will have to take care of the smell that wet diapers produce after only a few days.

- Diapers are expensive. 

- Swimming pools, beach time, sauna's and spa's are history.

- Every trip will raise the question how many hours or days it will last. How many diapers do I need and how do I take them with me or where can I buy them? Every change of plans could be a problem.

That's it for now. Please feel free to add some of your "love it, hate it" things about diapers or incontinence.

Thank you for your honest account. When I went on this journey I knew there would be moments of extreme humiliation and that it would also have a disabling/handicapping effect on my life. This is only my personal feeling but they are actually the reasons I chose incontinence. For some reason I have a deep seated need for humiliation and selected the journey to IC  part at least because of the associated inconvenience and humiliation I would occasionally have to face in front of others.

[cathdiap]

38 minutes ago, DaveeBEd said:

Thank you for your honest account. When I went on this journey I knew there would be moments of extreme humiliation and that it would also have a disabling/handicapping effect on my life. This is only my personal feeling but they are actually the reasons I chose incontinence. For some reason I have a deep seated need for humiliation and selected the journey to IC  part at least because of the associated inconvenience and humiliation I would occasionally have to face in front of others

You are most welcome DaveeBEd. Like you I also like the humiliation aspect of being incontinent, but I simply don't want it all the time, do you? I have tried wearing my stent all the time but after six plus months I realized this is not what I want for the rest of my life. That's why I am back to my good old routine of wearing three-four days in a row. Then I feel the urge to climax which is usually followed by a few days of normal life. ?

1 hour ago, stevewet said:

In a way yes but it doesn't bother me at all.

Would it bother you to be continent again?

[cathdiap]

@rusty pins Thanks for explaining the difference between handicap and disability. But on a more personal note,  if you were incontinent would you consider yourself disabled or handicapped, given the limitations you would (not) experience?

[stevewet]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

You are most welcome DaveeBEd. Like you I also like the humiliation aspect of being incontinent, but I simply don't want it all the time, do you? I have tried wearing my stent all the time but after six plus months I realized this is not what I want for the rest of my life. That's why I am back to my good old routine of wearing three-four days in a row. Then I feel the urge to climax which is usually followed by a few days of normal life. ?

Would it bother you to be continent again?

To be honest yes I am happy as I am. Don't ask me why as I don't know but for some strange reason I like being incontinent. and everything that this entails. 

[rusty pins]

2 hours ago, cathdiap said:

@rusty pins Thanks for explaining the difference between handicap and disability. But on a more personal note,  if you were incontinent would you consider yourself disabled or handicapped, given the limitations you would (not) experience?

If I were incontinent, I would consider myself disabled because I would no longer be able to control my bladder.  Not disabled in the term many people think of, such as a person in a wheelchair or a quadriplegic or a person who needs a caregiver.  It's semantics.  Technically speaking, or the normal perception of what people refer to as disabled.  If I was just incontinent and wore diapers discreetly under my jeans and no one knew, no one would think of me as disabled because I give no outward appearance of having any disability, even though technically I have a disability having lost the ability to control my bladder.  The fact is, I no longer have the ability to hold my urine so technically that makes it a disability.  That doesn't mean I am totally disabled, it just means I have lost the ability to do something most people can do.

If it didn't bother me at all, then I wouldn't consider myself handicap even though I had a small disability.  In my personal case, I know I would be bothered at times having to always wear diapers.  Some members totally embrace the AB and diapered lifestyle choosing to wear 24/7/365 and don't care who knows they wear diapers and why.  With me, I am a privet person and I never want anyone I know to ever find out I like wearing diapers now and then for personal enjoyment.  I would be bothered and consider it a handicap for me having to do things like changing in restrooms, possibly leaking or not being able to do some things that I do now or doing them without some embarrassment.  Taking off my pants on the spur of the moment to jump in the creek on a hot day with friends, for example, knowing I have a diaper on, everyone will see it and the diaper would be ruined by swimming in the creek.  Things that would be a lot harder to do when wearing a diaper as opposed to regular underpants.  In those cases, I would consider having to wear a diaper as a handicap even though many others might not.  A lot depends on how you feel about wearing diapers and how privet about it you are about it. 

Likewise, it can also be said that wearing diapers might be the opposite of a handicap.  Standing in a long line when you have to pee.  Long road trip where there aren't any restrooms.  Everyone around you is hopping and doing the pee dance while you are blissfully wetting your diaper.  Even then, wearing a diaper can turn into a handicap.  Eventually everyone gets to a restroom and releaves themselves, but you being in a diaper don't have to use the restroom.  Eventually your diaper gets to the point where it's totally soaked and needs to be changed, however there is no restroom available!  Now what was an asset an hour ago has turned into a handicap.  Even if you and your friends are hiking on a public trail, guys can usually duck off into the bushes and take a quick leak when they need to, even if there are a lot of other hikers on the trail.  It's much harder to duck off a trail into a bush and change a diaper, especially if it's a messy diaper.

Disability is a term that can be taken anyway you want.  Some consider it as a term for a debilitating physical situation where a person can't do things for themselves, but if you want to really get technical about it, disability can refer to anyone who doesn't have the ability to do a specific thing, weather from never knowing how in the first place to losing an ability they used to have, such as control of their bladder or bowels.  Handicap is what you make of it.  If you get by with a disability and it doesn't bother you in life, then I would say your disability is not a handicap.  If your disability does cause you issues in life, even if it's just now and then, it could be considered a handicap when you have those issues.  That's my take on it.

[cathdiap]

3 hours ago, stevewet said:

To be honest yes I am happy as I am. Don't ask me why as I don't know but for some strange reason I like being incontinent. and everything that this entails. 

Good for you Steve. I take off my hat for you. I have seriously tried to become life long incontinent but I simply couldn't handle all the stress around diapers: how to hide them, how to change them silently, how to carry them with me, how to get rid of my wet diapers. I mean all the time! 

Do you never encounter situations in which you would have rather been continent? Do you know of other incontinent persons that are perfectly happy being incontinent for the rest of their lifes?

[cathdiap]

@rusty pins So does society determine whether you are disabled, or do you? 

I have seen documentaries of people who have lost an arm claiming they are not disabled, because they can do all the things that other people do. And then I see them slicing a cucumber with one arm and can't help but thinking they only wish they were not disabled, but to me they really are.

i have also seen paraplegic people in wheelchairs saying they are so happy that at least they still have bladder control. These people are disabled by all standards and still they feel lucky not having to wear diapers, as if that would be really disabling for them.

My point is, don't you think disability is something that can be determined objectively? 

[stevewet]

1 hour ago, cathdiap said:

Good for you Steve. I take off my hat for you. I have seriously tried to become life long incontinent but I simply couldn't handle all the stress around diapers: how to hide them, how to change them silently, how to carry them with me, how to get rid of my wet diapers. I mean all the time! 

Do you never encounter situations in which you would have rather been continent? Do you know of other incontinent persons that are perfectly happy being incontinent for the rest of their lifes?

I don't personally know anyone who is like me happy being incontinent though I have talked to a couple of people on the net in the past. There are times when I have to explain to people I wear nappies 24/7 and pee my self uncontrollably but even that doesn't bother me now. I don't even try and hide it any moe what is the point. All my close friends and family know and are fine with it. I didn't set out to become incontinent it just happened but I decided why be miserable when you an enjoy it.

[cathdiap]

21 minutes ago, stevewet said:

I don't personally know anyone who is like me happy being incontinent though I have talked to a couple of people on the net in the past. There are times when I have to explain to people I wear nappies 24/7 and pee my self uncontrollably but even that doesn't bother me now. I don't even try and hide it any moe what is the point. All my lose friends and family know and are fine with it.

Makes sense, at a certain point you realise your life will be easier if you just give up trying to hide it. Too much stress to handle. Must have been nerve wrecking though telling other people who maybe didn't suspect anything.

Anyway, thanks for your contribution!

[rusty pins]

On 8/12/2019 at 10:23 AM, cathdiap said:

@rusty pins So does society determine whether you are disabled, or do you? 

I have seen documentaries of people who have lost an arm claiming they are not disabled, because they can do all the things that other people do. And then I see them slicing a cucumber with one arm and can't help but thinking they only wish they were not disabled, but to me they really are.

i have also seen paraplegic people in wheelchairs saying they are so happy that at least they still have bladder control. These people are disabled by all standards and still they feel lucky not having to wear diapers, as if that would be really disabling for them.

My point is, don't you think disability is something that can be determined objectively? 

Again, it's semantics.  I first look at the term "Ability".  That means you have the ability and can do a specific thing.  If you don't have the ability to do a specific thing, then you technically have a disability.  Most people technically have disabilities, unable to do some things.  I have the ability to fly a single engine Cessna airplane.  I don't have the ability to fly a multi engine airplane so technically I have one ability and another disability, even though most people don't look at it that way.  I'm speaking technically.  A person with one arm who has no problem slicing a cucumber still has the ability to slice a cucumber even though he has one arm.  If, to do so he had to hold the cucumber with one hand while using the other hand to slice with the knife, he wouldn't be able to do that with only one arm, so now he has a disability doing that one thing.  If he can do things normally with one arm, then he is able.  If, on the other hand (no pun intended), there are some things he can't do because it requires two arms, then in some respects he hasn't that ability and is disabled for those things.  You yourself determine if you have a disability or an ability to do specific things because only you know if you are able to do them or not, not someone else in society.  I'm sure there have been many examples over the years of people telling someone they can't do something only to find out that person can do it after all!

I'm speaking technically, where as most people speak in general terms.  Many might not think having no bladder control is not a disability because people go about with a normal life doing everything anyone else does, it's just that they have to find a way to keep from wetting their pants, weather that be with catheters, leg collection bags or diapers.  People don't see it as a disability because the person is able to do normal things everyone else does.  Technically, the person has lost the ability to hold their urine so it is a disability or loss of ability for one specific thing.  Since it causes no real outward problems in their normal life, it wouldn't necessarily be a handicap unless the person themselves consider their management of their loss of bladder control to handicap them in their life.  Only the person affected can determine for themselves if their situation is a handicap to them or how their ability to not be able to do something they used to do (dis ability to do something) is what people would consider a disability by the term most people think of as disabled.

[cathdiap]

I also (don't) like sitting in a delayed  train with no bathrooms and I keep on wetting my soaked diaper and the first stains are showing in my jeans. Happened yesterday on my way to work. Love it, hate it. 

[Bettypooh]

On 8/12/2019 at 10:23 AM, cathdiap said:

@rusty pins So does society determine whether you are disabled, or do you? ...

My point is, don't you think disability is something that can be determined objectively? 

This is a good question!

I worked with a one-armed house painter who could do about anything I could do, just that some things he did in a different way. He didn't consider himself disabled at all even if some people would. And semantics does enter this discussion too. As a whole society we determine what words and things actually mean, yet one's own personal perceptions always remain valid for oneself. You don;'t have to define yourself or accept someone else's definition of you, but you should understand that if their perception and yours differ substantially.

Like so many other things in life there is often no clear-cut answer, nothing which can be divided into black or white because it's neither. Society does set a minimum level of what it considers handicapped or disabled, and we have to deal with that when we're dealing society. That doesn't make it right or wrong necessarily, it just makes it how it is. We are free to disagree with society and to try to change things, but in the end it is society which is going to make many decisions for us if we want to be an integral part of it. Which we don't have to do.

Diapers and incontinence do not limit me much (almost none actually) and the few ways that they do constrain me are of very little consequence to me. I simply refuse to accept society's standards here on a personal level, but I do make concessions to society in how I deal with this when I'm out in the world. It works, I'm happy with it, and so is society.

Bettypooh

[Constantlywet]

I suppose obvious nappy leaks in public can be a bit of a pain. That and the smell. Although I don't mind the smell of a wet nappy, I don't always want work colleagues and customers smelling my wetness. I've found that when people do get a whiff, they look at my trousers and it's possible that allot of people put 2 and 2 together. Unfortunately, I have to time my changes as changing at work isn't the easiest so it's a fact of life that I do smell by the time I get chance to change.