diaper dimension Done Adulting, Vol. 2 (Final chapter posted 12/21/20)

[Alex Bridges]

26 minutes ago, Shygoodgirl said:

Such a sweet chapter. I need it for a rough week. Love this story

Sent from my Nokia 3.1 Plus using Tapatalk
 

You’re quite welcome. Good luck with your week.

[Sarah Penguin]

*orders the space patroi around the big planet to target Jamie with cheesy goodness and little juice from orbit to maximize his littleness before they realize someone has hacked their orbital systems*

[littleTomás]

Prediction for the future: Ella's family returns to Earth and leans how to synthesize little's extract for cookies, formula, etc. They then become trillionares who end up leading the world's largest company.

[SGTbaby]

Love the sweet short chapters! It will be fun as this relationship with Amanda in her own place continues 

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 51

 

“Let’s start with introductions,” Mary suggested. She read each of the human faces seated across from her: Lynn and Peter, Ella’s parents; Andy, Brad, and Jackie, her two brothers and her sister. 

Lynn had red, puffy eyes. Peter looked tired and impatient. Brad looked eager, and Andy did not. Jackie’s face was inscrutable.

“You know Michael,” Mary said, motioning toward the attorney. 

“Thank you for making these arrangements for us,” Peter said to him.

“You have everything you need here,” Michael asked.

“Yes,” Peter said in a way that made Mary and Michael suspect he had more to say and was choosing not to.

“Good. You have my number if you need anything.”

“And I’m Dr. Mary Thomas. I’m a psychologist specializing in humans, and I’m one of the few who has worked with unregressed humans in Itali. As you know, I’ve been counseling your daughter for the last several months to prepare her for this.”

“How is she,” Brad asked. “We’re going to see her tomorrow, right? I mean, I want her to be okay with it, but she isn’t going to back out, is she?”

“I don’t think so. She’s scared, but she’s ready.”

“Her Amazon will be here, too,” Peter asked.

“She’ll be here, but it’s up to Ella if she wants her actually in this room with us.”

“Courtney,” Lynn said. “Her name is Courtney.”

Mary just nodded. All things in time. “We wanted to give you this opportunity to ask us anything,” Mary explained again, though the attorney had both in writing and since they arrived.

“What’s your role in all of this now? With us,” Andy asked.

Mary maintained her friendly but neutral expression, the one she used to communicate that she was listening, absorbing, not judging. “I’m here for Ella’s benefit. To help you all feel more comfortable to make it easier on her.”

“So not for our benefit,” Andy concluded out loud.

“I’m going to be honest,” Mary continued, “Ella is my patient, and you are not. My concern is her wellbeing. But doesn’t that put us on the same side?”

“Does it,” Andy shot back.

“Andrew,” Peter said, trying to avoid acrimony. “None of this is her fault. Let’s just ... could you just tell us what we need to know?”

Mary and Ella has talked about what had happened at length, and Ella wanted Mary to tell them. She didn’t want to relive it with them. Stacy and Michael had agreed to share as few details as they could before now, to keep Ella’s parents from having the natural, visceral reaction and filing a lawsuit to get Ella home.

“I can do that. There some gaps in the story. Ella doesn’t remember everything.”

“That’s okay. We just want to know,” her father said, sounding a little desperate.

“As you know,” Mary began, “Ella was studying abroad. She remembers going with her friend Maggie to see one of the monuments, and a man began flirting with them in line. He invited them to meet him at a bar that evening. That’s all she remembers until she woke up in Aidu.”

“We know that part,” Peter said. “Maggie told us; the police pieced together some of it.”

“Maggie wasn’t taken then,” Mary asked.

“No, she ... she didn’t stay.” Peter sounded torn, like he was still angry about that and angry that he was angry.

“Ella will be relieved to know that. She assumed Maggie was taken, too.”

“They tried. A bystander intervened. One of the kidnappers followed her. She passed out on a bus, and he tried to say he was her boyfriend and would take her home. The bus driver called the police instead.”

“May I ask, what did you think happened,” Mary asked.

“That she was ... kidnapped or trafficked. And ... killed.”

“I didn’t think that,” Lynn said as though she and Peter had had this fight many times over.

“I know,” Peter replied hoarsely. “We never even imagined it could be this.”

“Do you want me to keep going,” Mary asked. Peter nodded, jerking his head without looking up, his eyes unfocused and gazing toward the carpet between the legs of the coffee table.

“Your daughter was kidnapped by humans who traffic other humans to countries that cannot adopt humans directly from your dimension. There are several of them. Their treatment of humans is such that your countries won’t work with them, and countries here that are part of what is called the Alliance won’t adopt to them either. Itali is one of several dozen countries trying to pressure those governments through various means to emancipate the humans living there or at least improve their treatment.”

It was important to Stacy that Ella’s family understand that not all countries were like the ones not in the Alliance. She wanted them to know Ella was safe in Itali and treated humanely.

“We’ve heard of Aidu,” Brad said, wiping at his eyes. “Not much. Just rumors.”

Mary continued, “Not much is known. The treatment of humans is a major dimensional issue. Since the first humans came through the relationships between countries like Itali and those like Aidu have grown strained. Itali has no official diplomatic relationship with Aidu. Aidu has almost entirely walled itself off from Alliance countries.”

“So what did happen there,” Peter asked.

“Please understand,” Mary said again, “that we only know what we learned from Ella and her injuries, in her particular case. Everything else is known through some leaks and contacts with dissidents in Aidu.  From what we know, it appears that Ella was treated as is typical of humans in Aidu.” Mary paused. She gave them a moment. “This is going to be very upsetting. Are you sure you want to know?”

“We lived with not knowing for twenty years,” Andy said. The bitterness in his voice, what sounded like suppressed rage to Mary.

Mary took a deep breath. “As you know, Amazons, most of them, tend to view humans as akin to infants or toddlers. Some humans are happy to be regressed to those stages of life through medical means, and it’s a sophisticated process. A human who adopts herself out in Itali, for instance, determines many of the details. In Aidu, they don’t view humans as persons. They generally see humans as more akin to a pet, and they do not allow humans to make decisions about their regression. Humans there are fairly uniform in being treated as infants, usually very young ones. Of course, the humans are not there voluntarily, so Aiduines regress humans without consent.”

“How do they do that,” Peter asked.

Mary’s voice faltered for the first time. She admonished herself silently as she explained, “It’s a neurological process in countries like Itali. It’s extremely sophisticated medical technology. It’s very expensive. That’s not available in Aidu. Some very wealthy people there might go to another of the non-Alliance countries to have it done. The ones who can’t afford that rely on orthopedic and chemical methods.”

“What did they do,” Andy asked, not concealing his anger now. His brother reached over and put a hand on his shoulder.

“The Aiduines who purchased Ella,” Mary said, stumbling over the word, “had her, uhmm, ligaments in her lower body partially severed so she was immobile. They damaged tendons and nerves in her arms and hands so she couldn’t use them effectively. They severed nerves at the base of her spine to render her incontinent. They kept her drugged much of the time so she could barely speak. They discouraged her from speaking in other ways. They wanted her to be, essentially, like a new born.”

Mary realized she was looking at the floor. She always prided herself on her ability to look anyone in the eye. No one spoke. Jackie stood up first, quickly, propelling herself from her chair and walking to the window. Andy followed. Lynn let go of the breath she was holding with a cry of anguish. In her decades as a therapist, Mary had heard that sound only twice before. Peter reached for his wife, and they held one another. Mary could see their bodies quake with silent sobs.

Brad looked at his siblings by the window and his parents. Mary sensed he was the one in the family who held them all together. It wasn’t strength. It was merely a learned behavior, Mary knew, a role someone fills in most families, the one who stays rational, buries emotions when he has to for the good of the others, and often plays peacemaker and confidante. Mary also knew that such persons often suffered for fulfilling that role, bottling up powerful emotions that, when they came out, came out all at once, a cyclone of feelings, and having gotten them out, the person picks up their mantle again.

Brad stood, and Mary saw his knees go weak. He lunged across the room and caught himself on the counter of the bar for what the lounge was usually used for, and turned sharply into the bathroom, retching into the toilet.

Mary waited patiently. Michael sat very still and quiet, very uncomfortable. This wasn’t anything like the family and little law issues that came to his practice.

Mary heard a flush and the sink, and Brad came back out of the bathroom, his face and collar wet. He sat back down, looked at his family again. “How long was she there,” he asked.

“Eight of our years. That’s a little less than eleven of yours.”

“How did she escape?”

“There are emancipation groups all over the world. Even in Aidu, but they’re small and illegal. Some of them are radical, militant even. Itali officially doesn’t condone their actions, but unofficially is thought to support those groups. A group within Aidu, working with counterparts in Itali, rescued her.”

“What does that mean,” Andy asked, turning away from the window. Lynn and Peter were paying attention again.

“Details aren’t public. Ella doesn’t remember much. The group broke into her captors’ home and escaped with her. She’s not sure if what she remembers from that night actually happened or not. She thinks she remembers violence.”

Brad and Jackie returned to the sofa. “She was sedated and smuggled out of Aidu and into Itali. All rescues are kept classified by the government. That she is a rescue is a matter of record. From where and the circumstances of her rescue aren’t public to protect the emancipationists.

“The Department of Human Services - people called it the department of little services - took custody of her. Doctors repaired everything they could. She learned to walk again, talk again. Trust people again. Psychotherapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy. She still goes to physical and occupational therapy. She’s made a strong recovery.”

“How does Stacy fit into the picture,” Lynn asked.

“Rescued humans can stay in Itali as independent citizens, be sent home, or adopt themselves out. It’s their choice. Stacy Jenkins has a friend at the Department who reached out to her to see if she would be interested in being Ella’s guardian. She and Ella met, and together they decided Stacy would adopt her. Legally, it’s the same as any other relationship between guardian and human. In practice, Ella has much more autonomy. They’re more than roommates, but it’s not ... Ella calls her Stacy,” Mary decided was the simplest way to explain it.

“But why ...” Lynn stopped mid-sentence. “If she... if it were her choice... why didn’t she come home? Why didn’t she contact us,” Lynn asked as she began to weep again, the tissue in her hand crushed and turning to lint.

“That’s a question Ella will need to fully answer if she wants to,” Mary said very gently. “She has reasons for. I can tell you that a part of it was a feeling of safety. Humans are very safe in Itali. One hasn’t been kidnapped in almost thirty years. There’s more, but she would prefer to explain it herself.”

“But to not even contact us, to not tell us, to let us think ....” Peter said, not to anyone in particular, his voice sounding hurt and hollow.

“I’m sorry,” Mary said.

“What’s her life like here,” Brad asked.

“She’s been happy for a long time. This incident has upset her a lot, as you can imagine. But she has a number of people in her life who love her very much, and she loves them. I won’t say things haven’t been hard for her since the rescue, but the last five or six years she’s been happy. She’s made an excellent physical recovery. She still has some physical limits, but they don’t keep her from living a full life.”

“I still don’t understand,” Peter said.

“Do you have any more questions for me,” Mary asked.

They all looked at one another and shook their heads.

“I’ll be here tomorrow,” Mary reminded them. “It’s important that you go slow.” She paused a beat. “And one more thing. Ella, at least to start tomorrow, would like to just meet with the two of you,” she said to Peter and Lynn. “I’m sorry,” she said to Ellas’s siblings, “She just wants to adapt slowly. Everyone at once could be a bit overwhelming.”

“We understand,” Brad said. Andy didn’t say what he clearly wanted to. Jackie once more wasn’t easy to read.

“If not tomorrow, perhaps the next day,” Mary said apologetically. 

Mary rose to leave when Jackie said, “Wait. Why Ella?” Mary sat back down.

“‘Ellafair’ is her full name. She picked it after she was rescued.”

“Why that, do you think,” Brad asked.

“She says it’s pretty. She says you might remember it from a park you used to go to.”

“On a tombstone,” Peter replied. “I remember it. She thought it was pretty then. Said she wished we’d named her that.”

“I know it’s hard,” Mary said, “but I think it’s best if you use that name with her.” Lynn frowned. 

“So they didn’t mentally regress her,” Brad asked. “She remembers.”

“Mental regressions are rare in Aidu. It’s very expensive. So yes, she remembers. She’s repressed a lot of what happened to her, but from before, she remembers.”

“Can we talk about taking her home tomorrow,” Peter asked.

“Best that you don’t,” Mary said.

[zatchie]

That's a big oof. What a tough and scary situation for everybody. I think Mary handled it extremely well.

[littleTomás]

4 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

“Can we talk about taking her home tomorrow,” Peter asked.

“Best that you don’t,” Mary said

I wished that Peter hadn't brought that up right away. I hope this doesn't turn into an ugly legal fight ?

[kerry]

Whatever happens here, I hope that it is absolutely what ELLA wants.

[Alex Bridges]

1 hour ago, kerry said:

Whatever happens here, I hope that it is absolutely what ELLA wants.

I know, right? But what does Ella want? I’m still figuring it out. 

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 52

 

“I wish I could be there tomorrow,” Jamie said at the dinner table for the third or fourth time. He stirred his food with his fork, having barely touched it.

“I know, Baby Bear,” Becky repeated. “We’ll take your mind off it tomorrow, at least for a little while. Promise.”

“She’s so scared. She still doesn’t know what to say to them. She wants to apologize, but she’s not sure for what.” Amanda hadn’t eaten much of her dinner either. She still hadn’t gotten used to what it felt like to not be able to fix a problem for Jamie. She didn’t want to tell him it would be okay because she didn’t know that and she didn’t want to minimize his very valid feelings. It didn’t feel entirely right to distract him either. “She’s very lucky to have you,” Amanda decided to say. “I think you’ve made her life a lot brighter, just like you did for us.”

“She’s not even sure about hugging them. She says it feels like strangers somehow. Like she’s not their daughter anymore.”

“Honey,” Becky tried, “why don’t you have three more bites and then we can get you ready for bed?” She’d just nurse him and hopefully make him zonked and sleepy.

“I’m not hungry,” he said.

“Just three more bites, for me, please,” Becky asked. Jamie dutifully ate three forkfuls of potatoes. 

“C’mon,” Becky said as she lifted him straight from his chair to her hip. She took him to the nursery where she got his bear and handed it to him, sat down in the rocker, and laid him against her chest. “Let’s be quiet for a while,” she told him. She rocked back and forth. She could feel the tension in Jamie’s back muscles. He seems to clutch at her with his small hands, holding her as much as she was holding him. Becky thought there was only one thing that might make him feel better. “Do you need to cry?”

Jamie let out a sob and said a weak, “Yes” as tears began to flow. Great big tears and a runny nose Jamie unabashedly wiped on Becky’s tee shirt. Becky kept rocking and patting his bottom while Jamie cried out as much anxiety as he could.

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Jamie said through his tears.

“Because you’re afraid, baby boy. It’s okay to be afraid. Especially for someone else. Only people who are very good inside do that, and only for people they love very much.”

Jamie kept quietly crying, and Becky adjusted him so she could lift her shirt and offer him a nipple. As it brushed his cheek, Jamie turned his head and latched on, his warm tears feeling wet against Becky’s soft skin as he slowly stopped crying and nursed.

Amanda stood in the doorway and watched her mom switch sides. She wondered how they would get him through the next day and the days after. She crossed the room and took the bag from the diaper pail to take to the garage trash.

“You can share the bed with us tonight,” Becky said. “The four of us.”

“Four?”

“You, me, Jamie and his bear.”

 

—————

 

Stacy hadn’t eaten dinner. She wasn’t hungry. Neither was Ella, but she’d agreed to at least have some formula, and though a little embarrassed - she’d spent so much of the summer trying to be more independent - she asked for it in a bottle and drank it in Stacy’s arms. 

Ella was scared, but she didn’t cry. So was Stacy; neither did she. Neither said much of anything. That’s how Ella and Stacy spent their evening, with Ella laying on Stacy’s chest as she reclined in bed, her protective hands resting on Ella, one on her shoulder and one on her rump, pressing her little gently into herself. They didn’t have anything left to say before tomorrow. They sat together, alone in their own thoughts.

[Shygoodgirl]

Poor Ella. I hope they don't force to return

Sent from my Nokia 3.1 Plus using Tapatalk

[the diaper mike]

 Oh my God my heart goes out to Ella and Jamie

[SGTbaby]

I look forward to the reunion but I wonder if anyone will really sleep well that night

[kerry]

7 hours ago, Alex Bridges said:

I know, right? But what does Ella want? I’m still figuring it out. 

As complicated as it does seem, it appears that the best solution is to let her stay. As she says, she doesn't really know these people anymore. If she returns, she will do so as a broken 30-something under-educated woman who has no real support network in what will be a strange new world except for a mother and father she hardly remembers. If she stays, she has the relationship she has built for years with Stacy, her newer relationship with Jamie, and the security of a life in which that lack of experience and education won't mean a lifetime of cashiering at Walmart...

[littleTomás]

That was a very sad chapter :(

I hope things get better soon

[Sarah Penguin]

Poor ella.

[Alex Bridges]

1 hour ago, Sarah Penguin said:

Poor ella.

*hugs*
 

We’ll all get through this.

[YourFNF]

On 12/3/2019 at 12:08 AM, kerry said:

As complicated as it does seem, it appears that the best solution is to let her stay. As she says, she doesn't really know these people anymore. If she returns, she will do so as a broken 30-something under-educated woman who has no real support network in what will be a strange new world except for a mother and father she hardly remembers. If she stays, she has the relationship she has built for years with Stacy, her newer relationship with Jamie, and the security of a life in which that lack of experience and education won't mean a lifetime of cashiering at Walmart...

This. I don't have Ella's physical issues and maybe half of what she has mentally and I can barely function in this society. Trying to relocate her would be a disaster.

[Alex Bridges]

Chapter 53

 

 

Mary was feeling like a stage manager, not that she had been asked to fill the role but that with the lawyer not naturally filling it she felt someone had to. She hadn’t ever done this but it seemed reasonable that one party should be seated in the lounge and the other should enter. That made sense. It was better than them walking in opposite door at the same time.

She had asked the hotel to provide them with water and some cookies on a tray in the coffee table between the sofas. Mary has debated with herself whether they should be regular cookies or little cookies. Personally, she knew she’d be so nervous she’d wanted anything to take the edge off, but as a therapist, she didn’t believe little cookies were ethical. Ella already had an anti-anxiety pill if she needed it.

Mary checked her watch and sat down in the chair in the corner that she’d asked for. If she needed to be in the room, it would be here. The plan was for her and Stacy to be in the room and to excuse themselves once everyone was settled unless Ella wanted them to stay. Mary couldn’t predict whether Ella would ask them to stay or not. The lawyer, Michael, was downstairs in the restaurant. There was nothing much for him to do unless it became litigious, and what were the chances of that? Mary checked her watch again as there was a knock at the door.

“Hello,” Stacy said as she walked in the Ella in front of her.

“Good morning,” Mary replied as she stood up and crossed the room. She met them halfway across the room standing next to one of the sofa, a dark brown leather meant to lend the lounge more class than it really had. This was the only hotel in San Siena that catered to independent littles, and it was a nice hotel, but like all merely nice hotels, its public areas had pretensions to something greater that the private rooms gave the lie to if a discerning eye looked close enough. The carpet may look thin or the towels too rough or the bathroom hardware showed its age. It was just a business class hotel.

         “How are you feeling this morning,” Mary asked the two of them.

         “Anxious,” Ella understated. She’d started the morning by throwing up.

         “As ready as I think we can be,” Stacy added.

         “Good. Good,” Mary said back. “There’s some water and cookies here. Anything else you’d like, we can call down to room service.” Ella shook her head. “Alright. Do you want to talk over what’s going to happen again?”

         “No thanks,” Ella said. “Kinda just ready to do this.”

         “We can do that. Stacy, are you ready,” Mary asked.

         “Yeah. If she is,” Stacy replied. She sounded less prepared than Ella.

         “Okay,” Mary replied back, “why don’t you two have a seat here, and I’ll go get them.” Mary stepped aside, and the two of them walked to the couch facing the door. They sat together. Stacy put her hand on Ella’s knee. Ella exerted as much control as she could to get herself to stop trembling.

         “Ell Bell,” Stacy said, “I love you very much.”

         Ella turned slowly to face her big. “I love you, too.” She turned her hand palm up, and Stacy took it.

There was a knock at the door. It cracked open. “Are you ready,” Mary asked.

Ella closed her eyes and held her breath for a moment.  She inhaled deeply and let it out in a smooth motion as she opened her eyes. “Yes.”

The door opened the rest of the way, and Mary came through first, blocking the Ella from seeing her mom and dad. She stepped aside, and there they were. Stacy looked from them to Ella. Mary silently shepherded the two of them to the sofa opposite. Lynn’s smiled, a forced smile she was struggling to maintain. Peter wore no smile. He appeared stunned. He thought he was over that emotion. He thought he was ready for this.

Stacy was trying to smile, trying to appear friendly and kind like she imagined she would want for her own daughter. She had only exchanged two more letters after the first one, and she never could tell from their replies, submitted through Michael, what Lynn and Peter were really thinking. She felt Ella’s trembling return. She felt her own instinct and desire to to soothe Ella, to soothe all of the littles, and fought against it. She wasn’t there for that, not if it wasn’t what Ella wanted of her.

Mary was now standing behind Lynn and Peter, moving forward so they would move forward. She got them to the couch where Lynn sat and Peter didn’t, standing awkwardly at the edge. “This is Stacy,” Mary said. Out of habit, Stacy stood to shake hands. Ella stood with her.

“It’s nice to meet you in person,” Stacy said to them. She shook hands offered in what looked like shock, as though they didn’t know what to say in response.

Peter spoke, his mouth audibly dry. “You as well.” He sat, and Lynn followed, and there was a pause. Ella still hadn’t said a word, and no one had spoken to her. Her mom’s and dad’s eyes were locked on her. Neither had yet touched the back of the sofa, sitting on its edge, ready to get back up.

         Mary backed out of the scene and sat down in a chair by the door. Ella’s mind was loud to the point of silence. She looked at Mary, who smiled gently, and Stacy.

         “I guess I’ll …” Stacy began to say.

         Ella reached up and grabbed her hand again. “Stay. Please.” She turned and sat back down on the sofa, missing the slight crease of disappointment at the corners of her father’s mouth and the smile Stacy kept inside.

         Lynn spoke to Ella first. “We’re … so glad to … you look good. Healthy.”

         Peter’s voice quavered. “We’re …” His voice broke. He held his breath, trying to get control of himself, and turned away. He sucked air back in with halting sobs and let it out the same way. Ella remembered, going all the way back to her young childhood, that her mother was the more emotive of the two, but her father was the more emotional. She was the stronger one. He was just better at holding it in, until he wasn’t.

         Ella closed her eyes against tears of her own, shook her head as she tried to swallow down the rising stone in her throat. Nothing came out when she tried to speak, and when she tried again, she said just above a whisper, “Don’t cry, Daddy.”

         Ella stood up, walking loose of Stacy’s hand, and crossed the short steps to the other sofa, and her father turned and caught her as she fell against his chest. She always was a daddy’s girl. Her weight pulled him down, and the two of them slid off the couch to the floor. Her mother joined them, and the three of them sat on the hardwood and held one another, and Stacy looked away, crying at the scene and for Ella and for herself.

 

 

 

----------

 

 

         Jamie kept asking for Becky’s phone and offering it back until she told him to hang onto it. Ella would call him. He just wanted to see the time. He couldn’t sit still. He had everyone on edge. Manda had promised to help keep his mind occupied, but now she had no idea what might do that.

         “Jamie,” she asked when she peaked into his room and found him sitting quietly in his chair. He looked at her in acknowledgement. “Can I get you anything?” He shook his head with a grateful smile. “You wanna come hang out with me and Mom? We’re just gonna go sit outside in the sun for a bit.” She saw the muscles behind his cheeks rise as though making a decision that was only a little more satisfying than no decision at all, and he nodded his head a few times.

         Manda walked toward him, and he held up his arms. She picked him up, patted his butt to check his diaper, and carried him outside where Becky had laid out his towel in the hope he would come back with Manda.

         “Hi, Mom,” he said from Manda’s hip. Becky wanted badly to baby him, to nurse him, even to give him a drop of little extract, anything to ease the tension, but she didn’t feel right doing that. He needed to feel his feelings, not repress them.

         “Can I get you anything,” Becky asked.

         “No. I’m fine,” he answered as Manda put him down.

         “Let me at least put some suntan lotion on you,” Becky said as she got his lotion out of the pool bag. She got up and moved toward him. He laid himself face down on his towel and waited for her hands to begin kneading the lotion into his skin. He liked her hands.

 

 

----------

 

 

         “I’m sorry,” Ella mumbled into her father’s chest. “I’m sorry.”

         “Don’t be sorry,” Lynn answered.

         “I’m sorry,” Ella said anyway. “I didn’t mean to.”

         “Shh,” Lynn cooed.

         “We’re all alright now,” Peter said. “It’s alright. It’s alright.”

Stacy wanted to step in. She wanted to comfort her little. She was good at that. No one was as good at making Ella happy as Stacy was. And here were these two other humans who filled the role that Stacy had fulfilled for almost ten of her years. She didn’t know any other big who had ever dealt with this, with the presence of their little’s original parents. Stacy tried to push away the sense of them as competition and tried instead to think of them as just like any other littles. All littles come from a place and a time with experiences and people and relationships, but they were all littles.

         Eventually, after almost an hour, the tears subsided, and the embrace they held loosened, and they got up off the floor. Ella had exhausted herself. She sat down again on the couch with her parents, between them. Her mother kept her arms around her, sitting half turned and almost on top of her. Her father looked as tired as she was. He wore an expression of complete contentment. Ella didn’t know what to say, everything she had rehearsed with Mary disappearing from her memory.

         Lynn spoke instead. “Are you okay,” she said quietly, conscious of the Amazon sitting across from them.

         “Yes,” Ella replied. She sat up straighter and held out her hand. “I want you to meet Stacy.” Stacy stood up and crossed the room. There was no space for her on the sofa, so she knelt at Ella’s feet and took her hand. “She’s my big.”

         “Thank you for taking care of her,” Peter said. “Thank you.”

         “I love her very much,” Stacy said, kissing Ella’s hand. “I’d do anything for her.”

         “How are you,” Ella asked. “Are you okay?”

         “Peter sighed in relief. “We’re doing fine.” That answer masked a quarter lifetime of volatility. The grief, the anger; raising three kids experiencing the same; all the struggles that went with that.

         “And the kids,” Ella asked. As the oldest, she often thought of them that way.

         “Andy is married and has a daughter,” Lynn told her. “Brad is doing well, and Jackie just finished graduate school.”

         “Jackie finished graduate school. That’s …” Ella shook her head. “She’s still four years old to me.”

         “They can’t wait to see you.”

         “We can go get them,” Peter said. “They’re just down the hall.” Ella looked at Mary.

         “If you want to,” Mary said.

         “Yes,” Ella said as she nodded. “Yeah. Let’s do it.” Part of her wanted to see them. Part of her wanted to get the tears over with now.

         “I’ll go,” Mary offered.

         “Ella and I will be right back,” Stacy said. Ella knew what she meant and got up, embarrassed.

         “Where are you going,” Peter asked.

         “Just to the ladies’ room,” Stacy told her. Ella walked in front of Stacy, who leaned over to pick up the backpack she took anywhere they went for more than an hour.

         “You’re tired,” Stacy said as she lifted Ella onto the changing table. Ella sighed and ran her hand through her hair. It was her tell, a tic. She always ran her hand through her hair when she was tired.

         “I have a headache.”

         “I bet you do,” Stacy said. “I think I have something for that.” She fished in the outer pocket of the bag and came up with a bottle of tablets. She gave Ella two, and Ella swallowed them dry. “Lay back for me.” She laid back, and Ella lifted her ankles so she could push her dress up. “How do you feel otherwise?”

         “Relieved, a little. I thought it would be more awkward. I don’t know. Like I didn’t really know them anymore. There’s a lot I don’t know.”

         “Neither do they. You don’t have to tell them today. Or ever, if you don’t want to.”

         “I know. We’re gonna do it all over again in a minute.”

         “You’re doing well.”

         “So much for everything we rehearsed and planned.”

         “Doesn’t matter.”

         “I don’t know what to say to them.”

         “Ask about their lives. Tell them about yours. All done.”

         Ella sat up. “I need to text Jamie.”

         “Of course.” Stacy handed Ella her phone. Ella unlocked it and thought for a moment.

 

 

       It’s Ella. It’s hard, but I’m okay. I’ll text you when I get home.

 

        

She handed the phone back. Stacy helped her down. “Ready,” Ella asked.

They opened the door and turned down the short hallway, and emerging at the other end Ella saw her brothers and sister.

“Hey, big sis,” Brad said. His hands were in his pockets, and he smile easily. He wasn’t the type of person to smile easily much of the time, but with her he did. He was her shadow growing up

“Hey, squirt,” Ella said back. He laughed. Andy laughed, and like their parents, the three of them fell into an embrace amid tears, but tears and laughter. Jackie joined in, but Mary noticed she seemed less enthused. She didn’t cry. She didn’t laugh.

Peter and Lynn did. They joined their children in the center of the room. Their family was whole again, something they didn’t think it ever would be again.

Mary caught Stacy’s eye and nodded toward the door. Stacy followed her out to the hall and gently shut the door behind them. “How’s it going,” Stacy asked her.

         “Good. This is what happens with reunions with bigs who’ve been separated for a long time. I wasn’t sure if it would be different, given the circumstances. Right now, it’s all just so much for all of them. It’s positive.”

         “It’s hard to watch and just stand back.”

         “I know. You're going great. It’s much better than if they just stared at each other unsure what to say. Ella is happy to see them, at least.”

         “She wasn’t sure she would be.”

         “it’s gonna get harder. They haven’t actually talked yet. When they do, some more complex emotions will surface. Right now, it’s all just relief that it hasn’t been a catastrophe.”

         “Jackie looks … something.”

         “It’s different for her. She probably has very little memory of Ella. This is just the beginning. The reunion. The next part is harder.”

         “What did you call it?”

         “The reckoning.”

         “Ella doesn’t have to explain herself,” Stacy said.

         “No, she doesn’t. Not if she doesn’t want to. But either way, even if right now everyone is just feeling happiness, they’re still all hurt.”

         “We can’t let them gang up on her.”

         “We won’t.”

         “Should we go back in?”

         “Let’s give them a minute.”

 

 

----------

 

 

         “I’ll wake you up if she calls,” Becky promised Jamie, surmising why he was so reluctant to take his regular nap.

         “Promise?”

         “Of course.”

         Jamie still looked skeptical. Or perhaps not skeptical but still anxious. Her message had reassured him, but it didn’t tell him anything, leaving plenty for his imagination to continue to ruminate on.

         Manda picked him up. “C’mon. I’ll go down with you. We can nap in my bed.”

         “Can Kazoo come,” he asked.

         “Yeah,” Amanda said. She patted her leg with her free hand, and Kazoo stood up and began following.

         Little boys and their puppies, Becky thought. I hope she calls soon.

 

[Shawnie]

Was really good it's amazing how we can work ourselves up on a situation and make it worse.

Fear is a liar

[the diaper mike]

Awesome chapter really emotional

[Sarah Penguin]

3 hours ago, Shawnie said:

Was really good it's amazing how we can work ourselves up on a situation and make it worse.

Fear is a liar

Fear is the mind killer.

[SGTbaby]

Great chapter and excellent as always! 

[trans-baby-girl-shea]

Mt first time responding to this story. I absolutely love the character development and the interplay between them. You are a fantastic writer.  I love this story and cant wait for more.

[littleTomás]

So happy to finally get more Ella and Jamie, but I’m still worried for the future... I think the next part could be very sad.