Strange days indeed - a 24 x 7 experiment

[Little Sherri]

Onzl, the above update is one of the funniest things I have read in a long while. You have a talent. I could picture your situation precisely. Thank you for sharing! 

[oznl]

Updates: This was the “week of the leak” as for not one, not two, but THREE record-breaking consecutive days I dealt with nappy leaks at work.

I know.  Leaks are part of the territory with a full-time nappy user but having three in a row at the office?  Seriously?

Monday’s leak was a lot better than it might have been. 

Somehow (and I really don’t know how), I flooded a BetterDry 247.  Those of you who've worn these will know that's not easy to do.  I don’t remember drinking a fish tank so I’ve no idea where it all came from.  I’d just spent pretty much the whole day at my desk on conference calls and email.  A couple of glasses of water and a can of zero at lunch but definitely no fish tank.

I stood up at around 4pm to head for gym and immediately noticed a lot of gravity happening down in my diaper zone along with a curiously-suspicious cool patch at the back of my right thigh.  A discreet dab suggested a minor and most likely invisible leak and it was gym time anyway so off I went.

Unbuckling my belt in the gym, I found that my pants were a little damp behind my belt buckle.  That was odd.

Next clue was pulling down my plastic pants.  The insides were shiny wet, very wet and the BetterDry beneath them was dark, swollen and keen to leave me (after all I had done for it!).  I’d only removed two of the four tapes when the other two gave up the ghost and it thudded to the floor like a dead pelican.

It was utterly saturated.  100% of the padding was swollen and wet.  Even the dry bits were wet.  It had leaked into my waterproofs and also somehow, out the top, wicking through my Gary pant elastic.

My dress pants were salvageable for the trip home however, my next Molicare was waiting and it could live without plastic pants.  I partied on at gym and the day ended.

New pants and Tuesday’s leak was worse than it should have been. 

Another routine day, I’d even been out to a client’s site (there’s something deeply amusing about wetting one’s nappy in a formal business meeting) and was again back at the office dealing with emails.  It was getting towards gym/change time and everything was routine until I stood up to notice that my chair was damp…  By strange co-incidence, so were my pants between my legs.  Uh oh…  It’s amazing how little you will notice your pants are wet if you have a wet nappy on beneath them.

This leak was more substantial and I briefly considered the “crash kit” in my car: spare nappies and spare pants but glancing at the clock, I headed for the gym early instead.  It turns out that the nappy fail here was right down between my legs near my scrotum and the seat of my pants had a damp spot the size of a saucer.  I dimly remembered peeing whilst sitting on a hard bench somewhere and feeling it running around a bit in there – I suspect it got out of my nappy and pooled in my waterproof pants to escape later.  In stark contrast to Monday, my nappy was no more than 50% wet in the padding.  I was able to air out my pants, complete gym and sneak home with only minor humidity in the trouser department.

And in case you were wondering, my chair is leather and I just wiped it down with a damp cloth and some of the antibacterial gel that large corporations deploy around the building like plague mice to help tick their environmental health and safety boxes.  The cleaning cloth was a completely different colour after deployment so it probably wasn’t a bad move with or without wee.

Wednesday’s leak was just average but consigned a record breaking third pair of dress pants to the wash in as many days (my partner chose not to ask). 

I only discovered it when I took off my pants in the gym change room and noticed a dark patch the size of a mouse (maybe I sat on one) around the back of my right thigh (my customary “go to” location for a wee leak).  I have no idea why.  Maybe bad things DO come in threes.

Thursday I succeeded in making it to the end of a day with a wet nappy but dry pants which is kind of the outcome I generally aim for.

Not much else to report really, still stuck in my “rut” with no noticeable new developments.  Travel next week.

[oznl]

Next week marks the 2 month anniversary of my second 24/7 stint:  now 4.5 months in total since Christmas.  There isn’t that much to report.

A brief interstate work trip this week: just an overnighter meant that I could actually pack some clothes as well as nappies without recourse to a large suitcase.

There was a minor glitch when the airline (briefly) lost my luggage on arrival in Sydney.  It’s only a 90 minute flight from Brisbane and there are no stops so seriously losing luggage would generally mean it being jettisoned over the coral sea.  It’s still a desultory feeling being the last person without luggage at the carousel when it stops, it’s even more desultory when you are in a wet nappy with no underwear.

Qantas baggage services were able to categorically tell me it was in Sydney (somewhere) between the aircraft and the carousel and went off to look for it with a degree of enthusiasm commensurate with my airline loyalty status (modestly high).  I had the slightly WetterDry I was standing in along with an emergency Tena Slip Maxi in my laptop bag but not much else so I was quite pleased when the baggage services person returned after about 20 minutes with my bag, muttering invective about baggage handler competency. It still made me think.  I only had about 12 hours’ worth of nappies and if I were incontinent, I’d have to duck out of sessions and go shopping for more in a plastic-bag free state.  The other left-field thought was of perplexed baggage handlers retrieving adult nappies blowing about the airport apron from a dropped bag whilst amused passengers peered out adjacent aircraft windows.   

As it happens, I wasn’t even late for the opening meeting, I’d just burned all my buffer time.  The trip was otherwise event free and I made it back home late the next night soggy but leak free.

In other news, I’ve discovered that the Molicare Premium Slips make excellent weekend day nappies where I don’t need the bulk of the mighty BetterDry but was having problems with the Tena Slips leaking and also having the cloth outer lining mysteriously dampen making waterproof pants over the top of them unavoidable.

My partner continues to simply avoid noticing, acknowledging or discussing my nappies which is really all I can ask for.

Twice in the last seven days however, I’ve had cause to believe that I wet myself in bed whilst at least partially asleep.  This happened once or twice before during my first 24/7 phase but neither progressed nor repeated.

The first time, I’d woken up around midnight and gone into my “drip and dribble” zone.  Somehow, I managed to fall back asleep STILL in that drip and dribble zone, dreamed vividly about dripping and dribbling to wake up again a little later to discover I was indeed still dripping and dribbling.  Perspective on time goes out the window when you are asleep so this might have been 20 minutes or it might have been 2 minutes.  I don’t know.  I was too sleepy to roll over and look at the clock again.  It was kind of nice.

The second time was when I got back from Sydney.  My flight arrived late evening and as usual, I had a certain amount of “plane dehydration”.  I’d gotten home and changed out of my flight nappy, showered, and put on my Molicare and terry-lined waterproofs for bed.  I’d eaten something beige on the plane so wasn’t interested in dinner.

I’d wet myself a tiny amount after retiring but despite a large drink, there wasn’t much in the tank.  I woke 90 minutes later around midnight and weed a little more out of a sense of duty but it was just a trickle again.

I slept heavily: I was very tired after the trip and unusually the next morning, it was the clock radio that woke me instead of my neighbour’s Jack Russell terrier.  I tried to wet myself on waking but it seemed my bladder was close to empty.  I arose thinking I’d basically wasted that Molicare but when I took it off in preparation for a shower and my work-nappy, I found that the padding to be about 60% wet!  It was only then that I dimly recalled “nappy dreams” through the night.  In all probability I woke up and wet “properly” at least once but didn’t wake up enough to remember it.

Otherwise, everything remains the same.  I’ve no idea how my daytime control is tracking because I’ve never tried to use it.  I suspect it’s ok though because sometimes I forget to pee – usually when I am with people and busy.

[Rob110]

When traveling its always a good Idea even on short flights to take a small carry on (backpack) with 3 or 4 spare premium diapers and a change of pants and shirt as a just incase. 

[oznl]

I’m now 2 months into my second semester so that’s 4.5 month’s worth of 24/7 diapered life on top of the 2.5 months I was diapered before a compulsory 4 week break.  So that’s 4.5 months in nappies so far this year.

So what’s new?

Very little.  If there’s a plateau, I’m still on it.  I CAN say that I’ve become awfully good at wetting myself.  It’s a shame it’s not an Olympic sport.  I can pee my diaper anywhere, anytime, with little thought, no hesitation and curiously muted sensation of it.  The decision to pee remains 100% mine but a decision to pause peeing once started feels like I am fighting with my body so I simply do not.  I have no idea what my level of continence is because I never use it.  I've kind of lost track of where my grown up underpants are.  I think they formed a committee and escaped.

I remain in a stable routine.  I’m rash free and for the most part, I don’t believe I smell (one exception is when I use cloth nappies which have no odour control so I’m selective when and where they are worn).

There are some downsides to 24/7 nappies and you should know them.

Whilst thus far my marriage has survived this, my diapers haven’t exactly been a tonic for it.  My partner seems to have completely resigned herself to them but naturally enough, doesn’t want to feel them or see them so I live a certain amount of double life.  I have a degree of tolerance but not support.  We are further apart.  We rarely fight (and when we do, it’s more likely to be TV remote wars) and for the most part, we get along very well but there is something between us.

On a more mundane note, wearing nappies imposes some limits on mobility.  I am less flexible and more cautious about what I do outside working with respect to not exposing nappies or provoke leaks by wriggling around beneath a car or hosing out a gutter up a ladder.  It’s like I’m 10 years older than I actually am.

Although I’m ok with domestic travel (albeit with severely limited luggage capacity), at some point I will have to manage international travel and we’re probably talking south east Asia.  I have no idea how I will handle that.

As I get further down the road with no sign of the comfort of being diapered abating, I start to wonder what the future might look like if I simply NEVER come out of nappies and that is an interesting headspace to be in.

[DiaperboyEddie12]

 

 

1

57 minutes ago, oznl said:

I’m now 2 months into my second semester so that’s 4.5 month’s worth of 24/7 diapered life on top of the 2.5 months I was diapered before a compulsory 4 week break.  So that’s 4.5 months in nappies so far this year.

 

Hey, what has the wife said so far?

[oznl]

1 hour ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

Hey, what has the wife said so far?

Most of her commentary is early on this thread.  To be honest, for the past couple of months she really hasn't said anything at all concerning the nappies but that shouldn't be mistaken for support.  She hates them silently but she doesn't hate me.  Nappies are excised from discussion.  I've seen the flicker of annoyance on her face when she's accidentally kicked a packet of BetterDry under my side of the bed when she walked up to it and she leaves our bedroom when I need to change.  On the upside, she seems to be reluctantly recognising that this isn't really of my choosing either and is just something I need to do.  Having said that, she will go ballistic if I make myself incontinent.  She is the #1 obstacle for permanent 24/7, to be honest, international travel is only #2.   Right now, that's a future problem for future Oznl.

 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

7 minutes ago, oznl said:

Most of her commentary is early on this thread.  To be honest, for the past couple of months she really hasn't said anything at all concerning the nappies but that shouldn't be mistaken for support.  She hates them silently but she doesn't hate me.  Nappies are excised from discussion.  I've seen the flicker of annoyance on her face when she's accidentally kicked a packet of BetterDry under my side of the bed when she walked up to it and she leaves our bedroom when I need to change.  On the upside, she seems to be reluctantly recognising that this isn't really of my choosing either and is just something I need to do.  Having said that, she will go ballistic if I make myself incontinent.  She is the #1 obstacle for permanent 24/7, to be honest, international travel is only #2.   Right now, that's a future problem for future Oznl.

 

Keep wearing full time and using all the tie and sooner then later you will be Fully incon and you won't be able to quit diapers again.

[Idzy]

5 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

Keep wearing full time and using all the tie and sooner then later you will be Fully incon and you won't be able to quit diapers again.

That seems to be a bit of a foregone conclusion for oznl at this point. Take it from someone who's had to deal with poor control / borderline incontinence his whole life (due to an industrial accident suffered when i was 6 y/o), yet at the same time developed ABDL tendencies long before puberty. Whilst at times nappies can be the source of immense comfort and a sensation of being "at home", "at peace" or "secure" they genuinely are a pain in the neck when traveling, especially for Business. The unfortunate truth about wearing 24/7 for a prolonged period is that you can't simply pause it and resume normal bowel and bladder function for a few weeks.

One tip I can offer for travel to the US is that there are many great people in the ABDL community all over the US who would be happy to help a brother out by accepting an order of proper disposables for you, and then rendezvous at your destination.

During my career I was required to travel to the east coast of the US (NYC) on a semi-regular basis for 5 or 6 years, and would have never been able to carry a sufficient supply of nappies and clothing (suits, a tux, shirts, shoes, slacks, etc, etc). Some friends made via chatrooms and sites such as this proved invaluable in ensuring that I had supplies when I arrived. Plus it's pretty exciting to meet a like minded individual who's a local to your destination. If making social connections isn't your thing, or your wife would have kittens if she found out, you can always order a single pack to be delivered to a "pick-up point" (much like a parcel locker here), and if timed correctly (US couriers are far more accurate with delivery dates than those in Aus) then you'll arrive within the collection window and be able to pick them up by scanning a barcode and entering a pin (no human contact required). If your stay is a long one, you can order multiple individual packages to be shipped to the same (or different) pick-up point and so long as they fit in a locker, you can pick them up at your convenience 24 hours a day.

I'd also recommend trying the North Shore range while you're over there. The MegaMax are an amazingly well constructed nappy (IMHO they make BetterDry look like a depends), and are so good that I go to the trouble and expense of having them sent to Australia via a freight forwarder because they do not dispatch outside the US. Either way they also carry BetterDry and all the others you wear and ship via FedEx and their delivery times have always been spot-on for me.

Also, I wouldn't worry about job security due to incontinence. It is a genuine disability, and if you are at the stage where you're able to relax to the point of dribbling, then nobody will suspect anything other than a physiological cause, and the fact that you've not sought treatment will be put down to embarrassment. Furthermore, in Australia there is so much legislation protecting those with disabilities from discrimination, that your employer wouldn't dare terminate you (and in fact may even show positive discrimination in your favor) if they were to find out you needed nappies. The only issue may be embarrassment in front of your co-workers, who if they have a level of maturity beyond the school yard, will most likely treat you with dignity and compassion. Lots of people deal with medical incontinence on a daily basis and do just fine. Some long-haul airlines even make special provisions for incontinent passengers (only with prior arrangement) by providing access to part of the crew rest area to enable a proper change. 

Best of luck with your journey, I hope it brings you the fulfillment you're looking for.

[oznl]

A pee dream again last night.  I was all but dry upon retiring, just the usual pre-sleep dribble to make sure I am emptied out after getting into bed but it wasn’t enough to be more than a technicality.

I think I stirred and wet myself a bit around 3am.  I have the vaguest recollection of looking at the clock radio at this time and it would be normal behaviour for me to empty whatever I had when those kinds of events occur these days.  It’s unlikely that an urge to pee would have woken me because one of the other phenomena that has emerged is that it seems that my bladder is not talking to me right now.  Pee urges don’t seem to be happening.  I think it might be sulking at being ignored.

At some time after that, I was vividly dreaming that I was wetting the bed.  This was ok.  In my dream I knew that I was allowed to do this.  I could feel warm dampness around my bum and thighs but I wasn’t cold.  The unusual thing about this dream is that I was also became very aware of the smell of pee.  It smelled strong from beneath the blankets and I also became concerned that I would be in trouble from my partner sleeping beside when she awoke and found out.  I don’t know what happened after that.

I recalled this dream clearly when I woke early the next morning.  Swiftly and nervously, I checked the bed around me for some kind of catastrophic leak.  The bed was fine.  There was no pee smell either.  Unsurprising as I was in Molicares between terry-lined waterproofs, a combination that my wife prefers precisely because they do NOT smell.

I was average-wet for a morning.  Apart from 3am and the dream, I could remember nothing of the night.

Looking back at my notes, I see that I had two pee-dreams a little over a week ago.  Three is a trend in my math so I’ll wait and see what develops here.  I believe that I am waking to pee, but no longer waking enough for clear memories on some nights.

[oznl]

This week was a trip all the way over to Perth on Australia’s west coast.  From Queensland distance-wise, this is fairly analogous to a New York-to-Los Angeles trip except there is a lot less to see (not even Ohio!) unless you like sand.

It’s nearly a 6 hour flight and logistically, my last nappy change would be some hours before departure so I opted for safety over discretion, adding a thin flannel pull-on nappy over my BetterDry before plastic pants and compression stocking.

Around 10 hours after donning it, I arrived that night in Perth soggy on the inside but dry on the outside.  The next day I had the meetings I needed to have.  Some of those meetings were a little high-powered and sometimes I found myself involuntarily holding on to my pee, just like a normal person.  At one point, I actually felt an urge to go which isn’t common these days.

The trip home is nearly an hour shorter due to prevailing winds but still an all-day affair due to time zones so I’d be going from hotel to airport to airport and to home.  Again, I decided for my flannel safety-nappy figuring a thicker crotch would attract less attention than a wetter one and I’d be stuck in the same nappy for at least several hours.   Just as well because I cashed in on that insurance policy somewhere over the Nullarbor plains.

I had no idea there’d been a problem until I got home to change.  Upon pulling down my plastic pants I found my flannel pull-on nappy to be saturated and suspiciously yellow.  Further deconstruction of my underwear revealed that the plastic outer covering at the front of my BetterDry had torn open somewhere between the Indian and Pacific oceans and was happily draining into my safety-nappy.  It was way more than my plastic pants would have stopped and I doubt I would have felt anything unusual as I’d be warm and wet down there anyway, until I stood up to get off at least…

Occasional leaks are par for the course with 24/7 nappies.  Almost inevitable for Tena (I’m just running those stocks down) but rare for BetterDry.  I’m not sure if I over-tensioned the tapes or perhaps damaged the nappy somehow before putting it on.  I’ve lost count of the occasions where wearing just a disposable alone would have meant wet chairs.  My natural habit of erring on the side of caution however has so far saved those days.

Travel again next week but again, only a three day trip so reasonably nappy-friendly.

[oznl]

Two steps forward and one steps back….  Last night was another “tears before bedtime” episode in my ongoing Netflix special: “So your breadwinner has decided to wear nappies and ruin your life!”.

Things had been so quiet.  I’d almost gotten Shakespearian, thinking about such calm following tempests but clearly, I was reading the script backwards.

My partner decided to book a night away and surprise me.  Yay…  Another night away to the same beachside resort we always wind up in the dead of winter in order to be lightly sand-blasted whilst refrigerated.  This was sprung upon me when only after I mentioned the possibility of me doing something else on the Sunday morning (something I would actually RATHER do) after the Saturday night in question. 

I’d have to say, my spidey-senses were tingling at this invitation and when she asked me a third time “So, do you want to go or not?”.   I replied, “I’m ok with going but has this got something to do with my default underwear?”.  This might seem uncharitable but her reply was swift and exonerating.

“Of course I’d like to think you won’t wear THOSE out with ME”.

Of course I will…

And cue the tears.

FML…

[Little Sherri]

That's tough, Oznl - I have experienced a similar phenomenon before, not related to my diapers, but basically the script is the same: concoct a scenario that is disingenuously presented as requiring of you to chose between the strictly binary options of them, or something else. Whereas my preference would be "you, AND something else." But that's not a valid menu choice for them. 

I suspect that I could face something similar this summer when we are in Europe; I will have to expend some time and effort acquiring diapers while I am there, and transporting them around, and of course, I intend to be wearing them, and whereas up to now, she's only directly been faced with my wearing them openly in the evenings and while sleeping, our close quarters will probably make my diapered status more obvious. We haven't actually discussed my day-wearing at all up to now.

She was in my home office for a good part of the day on Tuesday of last week, and I happened to still have my (fairly dry) overnight diaper on, which was a Bambino Magnifico, so truly a puffy, crinkly diaper with a babyish print on it, and I realized that it was standing well above my shorts at the waist at the back while I was seated, and she was sitting behind me, so she had to be seeing it. I rolled with it and didn't try to cover it up, and she didn't say anything about it, which I took as tacit permission to have a diaper on around the house - BUT, that's when the kids aren't around, and we'll also be seeing a number of her relatives while we are away, which I suspect will change the rules, from her perspective. I don't plan to wear big puffy baby diapers, and have them protruding obtrusively,  while I'm in Europe, but, I do plan to have a diaper on practically all the time - I am even considering not bringing any other underwear. It depends on if I envision an opportunity to get to a gym or not, basically. 

So the questions becomes, proceed as though this is the new normal, and see what happens, or discuss it first, and run the very real chance that I will end up being asked essentially the same question you were, possibly with the ensuing waterworks, as well. 

 

[oznl]

I pulled out of nappies for the long haul travel thing Little Sherri so you're in front of me.  Part of the reason was work though and there's still a part of my head that says "let yourself become incontinent and that fact MAKE you do it!".

It will be interesting to see how that night away goes.  I know the venue.  She's intensely keen that I hide everything about my nappies away from her.  That just can't happen in that hotel room.  She's going to see a few nappies and hear a few nappy changes.

[Stroller]

I could be about to hit something similar.  It's our daughter's college graduation in a couple of weeks, & Mummy says I've got to wear a suit.  I don't even know if I've got a suit that will fit OK if I'm in a nappy.  I'm hoping she's not expecting me to go without a nappy for the day.  I doubt it - she must have accepted I'll wear a nappy all the time during the day now.  After all, I've been wearing non-stop (apart from nights) for 9 months now, and she knows that.  Still, I'm a bit concerned.

[Little Sherri]

On 6/18/2019 at 10:06 AM, Stroller said:

I could be about to hit something similar.  It's our daughter's college graduation in a couple of weeks, & Mummy says I've got to wear a suit.  I don't even know if I've got a suit that will fit OK if I'm in a nappy.  I'm hoping she's not expecting me to go without a nappy for the day.  I doubt it - she must have accepted I'll wear a nappy all the time during the day now.  After all, I've been wearing non-stop (apart from nights) for 9 months now, and she knows that.  Still, I'm a bit concerned.

Interesting, Stroller - you are living the inverse of the life I was living up until recently - I was wearing only at night, and when the family was out of the house. Over the last 90 days, I have been 24/7 roughly 90%+ of the time, but I have only been open about wearing diapers in the evenings and in bed - my wife doesn't know I wear diapers out of the house during the day, although, as noted above, she has "caught" me wearing diapers late into the morning (when the kids aren't around) and said nothing of it, so I think I may have some license, but I am wary of pushing it. 

I'm interested in how you came to wear only during the day, and not at night. Did you have an honest conversation about wanting to wear diapers, however she prefers that you sleep without them, or do you just prefer to sleep without them?

My diapered status at night, once I revealed it to my spouse a few weeks ago, leaned (and leans) heavily on the "fact" that I have wet the bed here and there, although in reality I am exaggerating the issue - I have indeed wet the bed, but it's like once or twice a year, possibly due to an existing medical condition, although that's mostly a pretense - in reality, I just like wearing diapers. I can't really sleep without them at this point - it's been over two years of wearing them to bed. I also use a pacifier at night, which she knows about, so I sort of assume she's put two and two together and arrived at some kind of answer, but, I haven't actually said, hey, this is how I want to live - no matter what I'm doing or where I am, everything is better in a diaper. 

How did you arrive at the arrangement you have with your significant other, Stroller? 

[Stroller]

11 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

How did you arrive at the arrangement you have with your significant other, Stroller?

Well she's always known I was an AB - for over 20 years since soon after we first met.  It was very much in the background though, as we both wanted a family & there was no way I wanted to complicate our family life by bringing my AB side out of the closet.  It meant I was holding it in for a long long time, only occasionally wearing when I had time on my own, which was rare.  I don't regret that at all, but I had to keep promising myself that it wouldn't last forever.  It came to a head when our 2nd child went away to college last September.  Since then she's been OK with me wearing duing the day - she's very understanding.  But we share a bed and want to continue doing that.  And she's not comfortable herself with sharing a bed with nappies.  I'm still finding that hard, as I'm not finding it easy to switch to not wearing at night.  I really really want to wear all the time.

[oznl]

16 hours ago, Stroller said:

But we share a bed and want to continue doing that.  And she's not comfortable herself with sharing a bed with nappies.  I'm still finding that hard, as I'm not finding it easy to switch to not wearing at night.  I really really want to wear all the time.

Stroller has she said specifically why this objection exists?  I'm wondering if cloth nappies are to blame.  They don't have odour control and even though WE may think they don't smell (olfactory habituation or as @Rusty Pins amusingly described it to me "nose blindness"), I'm reliably assured that by morning in bed, they do a bit.  I wear 24/7 and whilst I *will* wear cloth once or twice to bed (usually before washing day for the bedding), I usually use disposables under terry-lined waterproofs.  My wife says she prefers those "any day" with me in bed and that she cannot detect any smell - this is the closest thing to a positive affirmation I can get out of her with respect to me wearing nappies...

 

[Stroller]

18 hours ago, oznl said:

Stroller has she said specifically why this objection exists?  I'm wondering if cloth nappies are to blame.  They don't have odour control and even though WE may think they don't smell (olfactory habituation or as @Rusty Pins amusingly described it to me "nose blindness"), I'm reliably assured that by morning in bed, they do a bit.  I wear 24/7 and whilst I *will* wear cloth once or twice to bed (usually before washing day for the bedding), I usually use disposables under terry-lined waterproofs.  My wife says she prefers those "any day" with me in bed and that she cannot detect any smell - this is the closest thing to a positive affirmation I can get out of her with respect to me wearing nappies...

 

It's a good point to raise, but I'm pretty sure that's not the problem.  She's never once mentioned smells, and I've been wearing all day every day for 9/10 months.  Anyway, sharing a house with a dog like Binkie you have to get pretty used to smells...

I think it's more likely to be a "yuk" mental reaction to getting too close to a wet nappy, and/or not wanting them involved in any sexual activity.  I've not pressed the point yet, but I probably will do at the end of the summer when the kids go back to college.  She's been so good at accepting me in nappies during the day, and I decided last autumn to accept her "not in bed with me" condition, for the medium term.  I'm not in a hurry here - I want things to last.

[oznl]

Well the great weekend away was postponed due to general lack of interest on the part of, well, everybody really.  I’d had yet ANOTHER week of work travel and gotten back on the Friday night so the prospect of another night away wasn’t really exciting me or her.  I don’t think nappies had anything to do with this.  Neither of our hearts were in it.

The only milestone that has occurred is that I’ve now passed my previous 24/7 record of 2.5 months (> 5 months in total) so I guess that takes me into new territory. In terms of any dependency, it seems to me that daytime, I’m on the same plateau I’ve been on for more than a month now.  The frequency of nights where I can’t clearly remember wetting in bed is increasing however.  Last night I successfully drenched my cloth nappies to the point of a minor leak and I couldn’t tell you when that happened.  I thought I was only a bit damp.  For some reason however I’m unshakeably convinced that I *do* wake up to do this, just not properly anymore.  At daytimes, I seem to be advancing in the wrong direction and have been finding myself unconsciously holding which is bad for nappy leaks.

I have to order more nappies this week.  This is an expensive hobby.

[rosalie.bent]

On 12/4/2018 at 10:47 PM, oznl said:

Last Saturday after a multi-year descent into desperation, I rolled the dice on my 30-year marriage.  I told her that with my headspace today, I can no longer keep my nappy thing inside the ever-narrowing swim lanes she is painting for them and that henceforth, I will be wearing a lot more and at my discretion.  Furthermore, I have told her that this wearing will include at least some period of experimental 24x7 usage.   She has opted to continue our partnership.  I feel bad and good all at the same time in a kind of cold, clear air of shared truth.

Ive been on the other side of that narrative so I hope it has worked out well for you.  Sometimes, we need to be pushed.

[oznl]

2 hours ago, rosalie.bent said:

Ive been on the other side of that narrative so I hope it has worked out well for you.  Sometimes, we need to be pushed.

Yes, I accept that this is difficult for her but I’ve gone out of my way to avoid any practical inconvenience.  All of her difficulties exist between her ears.  Most of the details are in this thread.

Fortunately, although this is clearly regression-related (it certainly isn’t a simple fetish), I don’t need to dress or be treated as a baby and I can live without her participation.  I am quite confident that any visible AB would simply be a deal breaker for her anyway which would be sad for both of us after so long.  The very small regressive elements in my psych I keep to myself. 

There are no heroes and villains in this relationship.  She isn’t perfect and neither am I but I woke up after a very long sleep to see that I was  actually in a controlling dynamic that I felt to be fundamentally unfair to the extent that I would stake my relationship with her on it.

We’re still together and we don’t fight that much.  Having said all that, I could never describe introducing 24/7 nappies into the relationship as a tonic for it.

What was your journey to accepting this confronting thing?

[oznl]

So I’ve said before that I really find pull-ups to be a kind of disappointing “worst of all worlds” in the diaper domain.  Regardless, I have a pack of Molicare “maxi plus” pull ups that I use on the odd night where I’m going directly from gym to a cloth nappy (which will last from the time I get home to the next morning, removing the requirement for an evening disposable).

Implausibly, they are rated at 2400ml absorbency.  The packet on the front has 10 drops which is probably a more realistic indication of their load carrying capability.  Nevertheless, they can withstand a gym workout and a drive home.

Today I changed into one for a brief work-out.  I showered but put it back on as it wasn’t wet at all headed back to the office.  I replaced my PUL waterproofs over the top of them (actually I did that BEFORE I went back to the office).  I peed a little on the way and was rewarded by a curiously warm and wet sensation on my bum.

Packing up for the day at work, I trickled a little more and things felt, well, wetter than they should.  I cautiously dabbed at my bum and got a damp finger.

Seriously?  Had to be a fluke.

Got in the car and drove home.  A few more trickles here and there but muted wet sensations (I was sitting anyway).

When I got out, there was a noticeable wet patch on my bum.

I went inside and cursed the designers of pull ups.

I then cursed the marketing company that portrays their wearers, pogo-sticking across the African savannah or unicycling up a tree in hyperbole-ridden visual metaphors to the alleged efficacy of their product.

I then cursed the multinational that foists this rubbish onto a misery-stricken market and dreamed of a suitable punishment for them.  I imagined them trapped for 12 hours at a time suspended upside down wearing nothing but one of their 2400ml pull-ups and being forced to pee 2400ml of battery acid as a I kind of “Black Mirror” road test of their product.

And then I realised I’d put it on inside-out…

[Stroller]

12 minutes ago, oznl said:

And then I realised I’d put it on inside-out…

Ho ho ho.  Been there, done that!  By the way, I find that wearing plastic pants over the top of pullups means they can hold a fair bit more before I get any leaks.

[Greybird]

And then I realised I’d put it on inside-out…

Ha, laughed myself silly, it's a 'right of passage' in other words been there done that!

actually I quite like pull-ups. I am away on a driving holiday in Europe at the moment.   Normally I like to wear my terries, but without the washing facilities (I did get the hotel to wash a couple of them on one trip years ago but  ....  ) it is down to disposables.

The day-wear is one pull-up in the morning and one for pm. The boot of the car has a large bag to manage the leaky anatomy, namely three packs Tena pull-ups (super absorbent ones) plus enough Abena M3s for the nights. Plastic pants to go over the nappies and a plastic sheet for the bed although it has been so hot that I have not used it yet (and not needed it) finish off with baby powder and nappy lotion.

I do love the fact that one can buy disposables at most pharmacies in Europe, the UK is catching on but very slowly. 

I do appreciate that you cannot carry that lot around business meetings though.

Thank you OZNL it is a very insightful thread that I'm sure many of us can identify with, not to mention entertaining!