Think Before You Act!

[rusty pins]

I hope I'm not overstepping my bounds here as I am not an Admin.  I'm just a concerned long time DL member here.  Recently this week there was a post here that was somewhat disturbing to be mild about it.  That post has since been taken down either by an Admin or by the person who originally posted the thread.  Without going into detail, the member was posting about one of the things he liked to do when out in public diapered for personal embarrassment.

Needless to say, it involved other people seeing him in diapers including random underage teens and children who walked in on him in his diapers.  He even had conversations with them about his diapers.  This is very disturbing behavior and just about every reply to that post was talking about how wrong the member's actions were.

Please!  Think before you act!  Don't let the hormones take over your judgement!  For some people wearing diapers is a sexual fetish and some get a thrill out of other people knowing they are wearing diapers or by purpously showing off their diapers to people around them.  It's one thing if a little diaper accidently shows out the back of your jeans when you have to bend down and quite different if you drop your pants and are standing in front of someone in your diapers just to get a personal thrill.  I'm not talking about any AB/DL party or get together.  I'm talking about out in public places like a local park, beach, store restroom or places where regular people and kids can see what you are doing.

The general consenses among members here is you should not involve regular people around you in your personal fetish, and that especially means kids!  We have a bad name as it is among many people who think AB's and DL's are perverted pedofile child molesters.  Even those who say being seen in just a diaper is no different than seeing a baby with his mother in just a diaper, or that wearing only a diaper in front of people isn't breaking the law as your privets are covered and all.  Please!  JUST DON'T DO IT AROUND OTHER PEOPLE OR KIDS!

 
Admins, if I have overstepped any authority here, I'm sorry and please contact me about it.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I think we both saw the same one. Telling them to think before they act is like telling me to war Bambino's, PUL panties, jeans or shortalls;  since they are "on the jazz [getting jollies to the point that they will not think or not believe that 'it' can happen to them or keep recycling the 'just this once' self-delusion]". The only cure is a trip in the back of a police cruiser and the "standing head" in the local paper "Man Dressed Only in Diaper Seen..." and the month or so in the slammer or be on probation for 6 months or required to see a shrink or go to rehab for a year or so or have to register as a sex offender and have that dog biting your ankle for the rest of your life

How many times need I quote that anti-drunk driving ad "Your lifestyle is your business, but when you take it on the road, it's everybody's business"

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

My setimants exactly.  For those of us that have chosen to wear diapers permanently we are faced almost daily with the reality of having to change our diapers in public or that someone might ACCIDENTALLY find out.  Dealing with that is difficult enough but when someone intentionally exposes their diaper in public it makes it that much harder for us.  I personally believe your diapers are no different than your underwear.  A woman walking around in public in a pair of panties or a man exposing his underwear to kids is not acceptable or tolerated and the same should be said when you are wearing diapers.  

[Stroller]

This is part of why I feel so comfortable here at DD.  There's a consensus, more or less, that what we do between ourselves is all acceptable, even if we don't do it all ourselves, as long as nobody is hurt & nobody "innocent" is affected.  There is no acceptance of involving others without their actively wanting to be involved.  And many of us agonise about how or whether to bring our nearest & dearest on board, as we desperately want them to be part of all of our life, not just part of it, but we don't want to upset them.

I think it's pretty healthy really, considering we're all barking mad .  Many thanks to all of you who help keep it like that, & to Mikey of course.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

16 hours ago, Stroller said:

This is part of why I feel so comfortable here at DD.  There's a consensus, more or less, that what we do between ourselves is all acceptable, even if we don't do it all ourselves, as long as nobody is hurt & nobody "innocent" is affected.  There is no acceptance of involving others without their actively wanting to be involved.  And many of us agonise about how or whether to bring our nearest & dearest on board, as we desperately want them to be part of all of our life, not just part of it, but we don't want to upset them.

I think it's pretty healthy really, considering we're all barking mad .  Many thanks to all of you who help keep it like that, & to Mikey of course.

There are very real ramifications if we do not police our own.  In society in general there is acceptable behavior and unacceptable behavior and this definatly applies to our community.  We are already faced with the common absurd misconception that wearing diapers is in some way associated with children.  I wear diapers around three of my own children and have worked extremely hard to keep that fact away from them for years.  Adults wearing diapers can simply be too confusing for kids to comprehend regardless of the reason that you wear them.  

This community, this message board, takes care of their own and is a virtual diaper lifeline to many of us.  We are their for one another and if need be here to give a pankin when members are misbehaving.

[willnotwill]

[

here are very real ramifications if we do not police our own.  

I'm not sure what you mean here.   While you are certainly free to express opinions about things, "policing" by people who claim to suddenly represent the community at large is about as abhorrent as the behaviors you're attempting to stem.     All the policing this board needs is DD and his assistants deciding if they want such on the board or not. 

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I cannot find it so it must have been taken off. The title was something about when you change in public and the poster said he dealt with "random children" who came into the men's room

I think we should police that out, or would you rather do the perp walk in an FBI pedo sting? Either way, it gets policed. it is just a question of who does that job and what follows thereafter. "Registered Sex Offender" are thre butt-ugly words, and they stick on you for life. We do not have "Report" for no good reason

[willnotwill]

I'm hesitant to relate the story as it was almost certainly deleted by a moderator and I'd not like to antagonize them.   The answer was that while I agree what he did was not in anybody's best interest, as he described it, it would NOT be criminally actionable in most states.    There was no nudity or actual or simulated sexual act.    The description didn't rise to even what would be considered "disorderly conduct" in most places though there's probably a likelihood that he could have gotten charged with such.

As far as the psychological aspects of fetishism go, as a psychologist told me a long time ago, "What goes on in the bedroom, is fine in the bedroom.   It's when you involve others, unwillingly, into the situation that you have a psychological problem."
  
Those who choose to parade around in diapers, or scantily clad swimwear, or other outside the norm activiities need to understand the implications of their actions.    Those who do so with the hope of getting comments, are one thing.    This isn't yet illegal.   However, that's not to say their aren't societal reprucssions.   Someone might snap your picture and post it to the web (and that's forever) or you might end up with your name or picture in the papers (and that's forever).    You may be banned from whatever venue you were in (which may be very invonvenient for you).

Those who do things with the specific purpose of alarming the public, or that go beyond the current levels of deceny (at this point usually to involve exposing genitals or performing a sexual act, to include masturbation).   Then you're running the risk of being convicted of a sex offense.

However, I bristle against the self-appointed guardians of the ABDL community decreeing what is and is not proper behavior.    What's next?   Telling people they can't appear on TV talk shows? write articles?   run ABDL brick and mortar stores?

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

1 hour ago, willnotwill said:

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean here.   While you are certainly free to express opinions about things, "policing" by people who claim to suddenly represent the community at large is about as abhorrent as the behaviors you're attempting to stem.     All the policing this board needs is DD and his assistants deciding if they want such on the board or not. 

 

I am talking about with the general public.  For example, if an ABDL thinks it is acceptable behavior to walk down a beach in just a diaper and the general public witnesses this what kind of impression do you think the general public will have of ABDLs?  It paints a bad picture on us as a community in my opinion.

I would like to think that anyone that desires to wear diapers or be a little represents the ABDL community.  

[willnotwill]

And you're entitled to that OPINION.   However, when people start about "policing" things it sounds like going beyond stating opinions.

Frankly, there has been, in MY opinion, more damage by people trying to "police" the community than has helped us.     How do you get to speak for the community at large?   Are people like "Tod" Williams or Heidi (William Windsor) not fitting in with your image of a proper DL?    Sorry, but I don't agree.

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Any post about changing diapers in front of minors in a fetish site, if it gets seen will send up a red flag so fast and so far that it would make your head spin. There are two of us who think it was questionable or, as Handel says "a wobbler", but a wobbler can fall either way and who said anything about "most states" unless you think the FBI are staties

[willnotwill]

Now you don't know what you were talking about.   That was not what the post was about.   The post in question had no exposure at all.   It pretty much involved the guy sitting around in an open toilet stall with his pants down but diaper in place waiting for someone to comment on it.   Had he actually changed himself in view of others or he said or did something directed at antoher  to call attention to himself, perhaps you could argue a criminal act.    But I'm not seeing it in the case he described.      

Not only did I warn him against it, I questioned his motives for bragging about it here.

That's not to say I didn't suggest to him that he should be doing it and there might be repercussions for what he was doing other than a criminal conviction.  

 

 

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

5 minutes ago, willnotwill said:

And you're entitled to that OPINION.   However, when people start about "policing" things it sounds like going beyond stating opinions.

Frankly, there has been, in MY opinion, more damage by people trying to "police" the community than has helped us.   

I understand your sentiment and respect your opinion.  I am definatly not claiming to be the diaper police.  At the end of the day what someone does in their diaper is their business.  It is just unfortunate what that person does in their diaper could affect how others view me wearing diapers.  

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Well, that is certaily exhibitionism and did or did it not mention "random children"" or teens?

[willnotwill]

Frankly, the view is not overly positive no matter how you slice it.   If you think people dancing around in public in diapers either helps or hurts our "cause" in general, you don't understand public opinion.

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Two things

For decades it has been accepted that, if it was to be left free of outside control, that any group would self-police to deal with the "full-mooners" and nobody wanted anarchy, being looked upon as lunatics or being considered less than honorable or sane. Every organization bragged that it policed itself well and was therefore, trustworthy. Why do you think that mods have the power to execute both temporary and permanent bans?. And if regular members found something amiss and spoke up. it implied that in the group, there was some kind of conscience. Since the late 1960's when all the hoopla began, there was always the implicit charge that if groups did not police themselves, and became the home of lowlifes, they would be policed from the outside. And persons who impose their kink on others certainly are lowlifes. It is a take on "Your lifestyle is your business but if you shove it in someone's face, then it's everybody's business" and we need to deal with you and those who support your doing this or make excuses for it. And you better know that Law Enforcement is watching like a hawk after the priest scandals. It' is one thing to say that ABDL groups are viewed negatively, it is another thing to add fuel to that fire by giving the appearance that such a view is justified

For 37 years that I know of, both DPF and DD disavowed exhibitionists, being aware that if an association could be drawn between these organizations and such creatures, the whole group would be LEGITIMATELY tagged as lunatics and unreasonable nihilists with all that went with that

[MegaChar]

15 hours ago, MarkSmith said:

I am talking about with the general public.  For example, if an ABDL thinks it is acceptable behavior to walk down a beach in just a diaper and the general public witnesses this what kind of impression do you think the general public will have of ABDLs?  It paints a bad picture on us as a community in my opinion.

I would like to think that anyone that desires to wear diapers or be a little represents the ABDL community.  

Isn't that what a nudist beach is for? Seen a bunch of photos and posts around the web that a work around from being completely naked at those beaches thats full of naked people is get that diaper on.

 

But you are right: Post anything online these days and you run the risk of pissing off a loony person who thinks its fun to control people who are a bit different and they attempt to shame you until you commit sucide.

 

Also as I said before and I will say again: "Say no to kids" That freedom to wear diapers is more important then the ability to ruin a kid life who dosn't understand their world yet and you live in a little box no bigger then your bathtub. Just dont do it. If you want to be the child then wear those diapers and use em. Wear closing like they do. Do things like they do but for god sake....Don't force them into your fanitzys.

[Bettypooh]

Our "involve no kids" policy is plain and clear. If you see any of that let us know asap.

"Self-policing" can be seen many ways. One is to not participate with someone breaking rules or community standards. Another is to try to educate the person who offended. That is OK as long as it's done without bashing or degrading them. The usual problem with "self-policing" arises when someone takes it on themselves to be catching offenders then  openly bashing them. That won't fly here. Done well, self-policing can work fairly well but it involves self-restraint too. It's best done with you yourself beng the example you want other's to follow. If something needs to be said, do that in a caring and helpful way the same as you'd want done to yourself if you erred. That usually works very well and often lands you new friends. Done wrong you usually make enemies instead and those enemies can be Moderators too- NOT a good thing.

The person and thread referred to here were banished from among us permanently. They knew the rules, they knew that we don't tolerate the behavior they spoke of, then they posted anyway. Had they been a newbie we might have acted differently, but they got what they asked for even though I'm pretty sure they didn't want it. That is how things work in this world and the sooner you learn it the easier your life becomes. We welcome diverse thoughts, perspectives, and comments but there are limits so don't exceed them if you want to be part of our community here. 

Bettypooh

 

[willnotwill]

I have no issues with "policing" the forum.    I have an issue with people trying to be the diaper cops to tell anybody else what legal activities they can or can't do.

As for "they knew the rules" that's likely not the case.    You'd only know about the anti-child bent (outside the story forum guidelines) after your posts silently disappear.  It is not in the stickeied site rules post and the mods are in the habit of deleting posts without even bothering to tell people that they'd stepped over the line (and given the unreliability of the forum in the past, it left people scratching their heads as to whether they had been moderated or whether their posts just fell into the Invision black hole.)

 

[rusty pins]

Ok.  I started this post and I want to add one last comment, carefully trying not to bash anyone!  This is really not so much about policing each individual member.  This was stated because one member here related what he likes to do for his own personal embarrassment and jollies.  I wasn't going to go into details but now I will.  This particular person would go into a PUBLIC restroom, remove all his clothing and I mean all of it, then sit on the baby changing table naked but with a diaper half on, covering his privets but not yet taped on.  He would leave the stall door wide open and be in full view of anyone who walked in the restroom to use the toilet.  He stated he did this just for his own personal embarrassment and even talked about putting on his diaper when people, including children younger than age 12 asked him about it.  There.  I said it!

Common sense dictates you don't sit on a baby changing table in a store restroom naked with a diaper half on and the stall door open so everyone who walks in to use the restroom, including kids can see you there in just your diaper half on.  It's just plain common sense that you don't do anything like that!  What the hell are people thinking anyway?  Somehow my stating that this is not something people should be doing and to think before acting on your raging hormones has turned into a big argument and debate!  While it's true the forums here are for people to openly discuss their thoughts and conflicting opinions, I just can't see what the big controversy is about!  This is what it all boils down to.  Either you agree that the above action of this one person is wrong and a stupid thing to do that, by the way, violates the membership rules of Daily Diapers since it resulted at least twice by the perpetrator's own posting in kids under the age of 15 walking in on him in a public restroom and seeing him sitting naked on the baby changing table with a diaper half on him and the stall door wide open, or you think what he did was perfectly OK. 

I'm not saying we need to single out every member here and "police" every action they do just because we may not agree with it.  Anyone who thinks what the person I mentioned has been doing is ok and fine with it has a problem of their own!  This is not just my opinion but the opinion of most people here.  Some posts say it's wrong telling people what they can and can't do and what is legal or illegal.  Remember, when in society there are laws for a reason.  Maybe some incredibly stupid things some people do are not actually illegal by definition of the law even though they are morally wrong.  Think of this!  This is a membership at Daily Diapers with rules.  The rules are here for a reason, and people have been banned for some of their actions in regards to not following those rules.  When you elect to join a club or organization, you must follow their rules weather they may be legal otherwise but against the personal organizations own policy.  That statement should put an end to what people personally feel is legal or not as far as someone's actions.  Just because there is not yet a law on the books regarding someone purpously showing off their diapers in public to children doesn't mean it's not an incredibly stupid thing to be doing!  That's why there are membership rules stating doing things like that are against regulations.  Even though the rules of the membership say it's not allowed, common sense alone should be enough without rules and laws to say, "Just don't do something like that!"  That was the simple point I was trying to make in my original post.  Think of what you are about to do first before you act upon it, and don't let your raging hormones get the better of your judgement.  The fact that there is an actual debate going on about this issue being something we should be concerned about is just as disturbing as the action itself!

Last words!  KNOCK IT OFF!  Stop the arguments!  Wrong is wrong, especially purpously exposing yourself naked sitting on a baby changing table in a public restroom stall with a diaper half way on and the stall door wide open just waiting for the next random person including children to walk in and see you for your personal jollies!  Not only is it morally wrong but if people can't see that, keep in mind it clearly violates the membership rules of Daily Diapers 

[tyrantblade3500]

I find it ridiculous that anybody would defend public exposure to an unknown mass of people that are highly likely to already have a very bad image of the ABDL lifestyle (if they have any knowledge of such a thing at all, the limit of their exposure might have been "Cringe, look how sick this is" type of videos that rely on shock value to get viewership and hopefully get subscribers on youtube type thing)

[willnotwill]

I didn't defend anything.   I just bristled about self-appointed guardians of what constitutes a "proper" abdl lifestyle.   

What this person did was not illegal, but certainly distasteful and I agree he shouldn't do it.    However, I do thing that getting up what is and is not good for the "abdl lifestyle" is pretty damned presumptuous.      I think most here are pretty deluded as to what the public can and will thing about the hobby.    Some of the people revered by this board have done more to set back the cause (in my opionion) than all the diaper cowboys in the world have ever caused.

 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

Legality is just the MINIMUM standard. Each group has it's onw set of "customs and courtesies" that go beyond that. so that defending an action because it is legal is somewhat like the Pharasees and Saducees. You can have persons doing what is "legal" and the place can still turn into a dive

Givning persons who show some level of conscience and call out the actions of someone: "if you see something; say something", a hard time IS defending the wrongdoing by acting as an enabler

Beyond that, this is more advisory to others. Think before you act. and If you get into the habit of acting impulsively, other things will set in that will make thinking before you act almost impossible until you become "that guy" because, as the thrillseeking needs to get bolder and bolder, you  DO cross the line of legal. Today is yesterday's tomorrow and tomorrow's yesterday". This person was making his, and our "lifestyle everybody's business" by "tak[ing] it on the road"

You do not know who we are being observed by. A guy like Howie Carr, who appeals to the lowest common denominator in terms of the prurient and salacious (while supporting the guy who said "I grab their pussy, they love it) would have a field day on his talk show. That kind of post would be the perfect "op cit" for him. Carr knows about the diaper fetish, too, I have heard him refer to it disparagingly. all he has to do is google up "diaper fetish"

[rusty pins]

Regardless of weather someone thinks an action of another is legal or not or what we may think others perceive of our lifestyle, when you are a member here there are rules to follow weather you think they are proper in your opinion or not.  If anyone disagrees with the rules set here by Mikey as site owner and the admins he has entrusted to help keep order here, fine.  That's their perogative.  Weather someone agrees or not, follow the rules or else perhaps those people might be better off finding an AB/DL organization with more liberal rules and interpretations.  When someone says they do not agree that what this person did is proper behavior and speaks out against it, I don't see any reason to argue with them, unless you disagree and think that what this person did was perfectly OK behavior.  That is the bottom line here.   Again, I don't think we need to argue the issue anymore.

[ppdude]

10 hours ago, rusty pins said:

Ok.  I started this post...as disturbing as the action itself!

Last words!  KNOCK IT OFF!  Stop the arguments!  Wrong is wrong, especially purpously exposing yourself naked sitting on a baby changing table in a public restroom stall with a diaper half way on and the stall door wide open just waiting for the next random person including children to walk in and see you for your personal jollies!  Not only is it morally wrong but if people can't see that, keep in mind it clearly violates the membership rules of Daily Diapers 

Thank you. Both of this guy's posts were disturbing and sick in multiple ways. Keeping it between us in this forum is one thing, but taking it public is quite another. I don't blame the moderators or members for taking it down. The whole thing stunk and can't be allowed. Doing what he did was just plain unacceptable. Both he and his "partner" are idiots.