AB/DLs and equal rights.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

I'm not sure where to put this since it's not really "news," and seems like it fits more in our "Lifestyle Discussion," so I'm fine with mods/admins moving it, but having just seen this, I felt that it's worth posting here. Please note that the original material is italicized as it seems no longer possible to stick text in a quote that isn't directly from another forum post.

Subject: This Pertains To Anyone Who Has a Kink or Fetish:

On May 9th, 2015 I was violently raped by a member of the kink community. I was not dating this person, he was involved with another girl who I

[Bettypooh]

Laws vary, but in my state any lawyer can file a criminal suit as long as they inform the DA of their intent and cooperate with the DA if they decide to prosecute the case themselves. What usually happens is the DA assigns an Assistant DA to your case and your lawyer acts in an advisory capacity to them. Rarely, the DA will decline to take the case, then the presiding Judge will review your case to determine if it has a basis in law and that it has been filed properly. If so, a warrant and/or summons will then be served. If not, your case will be denied. Without the DA's assistance you'll have to pay for everything up to the trial- the DA may require that anyway if they first declined prosecution then accepted later when you filed. If you win your money is returned.

Money and good Attorneys are what runs the US Court system. Those lacking money won't get a good Attorney and will get shafted. Those with enough money can cause someone else who has done no wrong

[WakkoWannaBe]

When I saw the title of this, I thought we were gonna have another post comparing the queer community to the ABDL community, with certain jargon from the former being adopted by the latter. Which is a conversation that never ends well. Then when I saw it was from Tumblr I went "uh-oh" because Tumblr can be kind of intense (I enjoy Tumblr but some people get really really out there).

But, it was actually a good read. That's kind of crazy. I don't really have anything to add, but I hope it works out for her. Looks like she posted that just 3 days ago. So the throw-out must be recent.

[Elfy]

If this is true then it is sad but I get the feeling we might not be getting the full story here...

If there were that much evidence I find it hard to believe it would be thrown out by anyone no matter the circumstances, plus don't Americans (where I assume she is from) have a system where she could take it to a higher court if she felt this one wasn't giving her fair treatment? I always here of things being escalated through courts like that and I believe we have a similar thing here.

Why is ageplay even a factor here? They were at a house party when this happened, I'm not sure why ageplay would need to be brought up at all.

Then I see she is asking for donations sent directly to her e-mail rather than to a crowdfunding site...

I'm not saying she is making it up but I do wonder if we are getting the full truth... I have seen a lot of more crazy stuff on tumblr.

If she had a letter or something she could post (with names blacked out) that showed the reason her case was thrown out then that would change things but right now we only have her word and, to be honest, I've grown far too cynical of things I hear online to just blindly trust someones word anymore. I could say more but I don't feel it would be right to if I'm wrong... If she is being totally honest and it was thrown out for that reason than I hope she gets justice because this is something I would never have expected to see.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

12 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

Laws vary, but in my state any lawyer can file a criminal suit as long as they inform the DA of their intent and cooperate with the DA if they decide to prosecute the case themselves. What usually happens is the DA assigns an Assistant DA to your case and your lawyer acts in an advisory capacity to them. Rarely, the DA will decline to take the case, then the presiding Judge will review your case to determine if it has a basis in law and that it has been filed properly. If so, a warrant and/or summons will then be served. If not, your case will be denied. Without the DA's assistance you'll have to pay for everything up to the trial- the DA may require that anyway if they first declined prosecution then accepted later when you filed. If you win your money is returned.

Money and good Attorneys are what runs the US Court system. Those lacking money won't get a good Attorney and will get shafted. Those with enough money can cause someone else who has done no wrong

[Elfy]

3 minutes ago, Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover said:

It's really up to a DA whether or not a case goes to a grand jury to have an indictment handed down. If a DA wants to prosecute, you can indict just about anyone or anything, just ask the lawyer (judge? I can't remember) who sued God and won for the purpose of proving this point. If a DA doesn't want to prosecute, it's easy for nothing to happen, which is why cops who shoot unarmed black kids can go so long without an indictment. To escalate something in a court, you have to win or lose a case and someone has to file an appeal, or there has to be a violation of federal law as well as local statutes, and someone willing to prosecute in the case of a criminal complaint. It's not as simple as just going to a higher judge.

Ageplay is a factor because it was a party consisting of members of the kink community, although it shouldn't be a factor. The problem is that with a party of kinksters, a lawyer will inevitably bring up the kinks of a plaintiff and defendant if only to stonewall, and that could easily bias a jury.

You raise a good point about the lack of a crowdfunding site, perhaps you should suggest it to her? I have to wonder if one can't be used since the adult element to this could violate some TOS agreement, but it probably would lead to more donations. I also like your idea about a redacted letter, and think that a mod should suggest it to her so that the entire world doesn't have to see it. If she can produce something like that, I think DD as a whole should try to help her in some way since this could be a problem for other AB/DLs in the US if not elsewhere too.

I didn't realise that the DA has such an ability to refuse to go ahead with cases even if there was plenty of evidence. I also didn't realise it was a kink party, I don't think it was mentioned that it was but maybe I skipped over it or she mentioned it previously on her blog.

I won't suggest it to her, I'm not a tumblr user (and nor do I want to be) but I don't think an adult theme would violate ToS, maybe it would but I couldn't imagine why, if it was just for hiring a lawyer for a case it wouldn't even need to talk about the adult themes. Problem is lawyers are very expensive, the amount of money she would need to raise would be huge and I imagine it wouldn't be a short process so she would have to keep paying until she got what she wanted but the sum of money involved would be huge.

I just don't see how she could raise enough money unless she found one person, or a few people who would be able to pay for it all. Maybe I'm just overestimating how much it would cost though. Also what happens to money spent if it isn't enough for a lawyer? Do people get their money back or does she keep it?

I mean, the letter is the killer though... If I saw a letter that said the reason we aren't progressing with the case is because you are an ageplayer and we don't know how to talk about it then that is one thing, but if it says that and then says some other reason it isn't

[rusty pins]

First, if a crime was committed with that much proof (Witnesses, DNA evidence and signed confession) I can't see why it's not being prosecuted.

[Bettypooh]

US law sucks in almost every regard. No, the DA doesn't have to prosecute diddly if he doesn't want to and nobody but a Grand Jury can supersede his decision (and maybe not even then). You might get to speak with a Judge, but officially their hands are tied- they are not given the power to bring cases, but only to hear them. They can suggest to the DA what they think appropriate and even suggest the best approach to take, but that's all. And all this can vary by which State has jurisdiction.

Knowing the system the way I do (having been wrongfully convicted of minor stuff several times) I can tell you this much: No lawyer is too good or too costly. I'd hock my soul to the devil to pay for my Attorney (and his prices are huge) but that is what it takes to see a win so you just do it or you lose. US jails are full of poor people whose main sin was not having good enough legal representation, and anyone can be next. Sorry she's poor and is having to learn the harsh truth about US law this way.

Bettypooh, the legally battered poor person.

[dyperbole]

4 hours ago, rusty pins said:

First, if a crime was committed with that much proof (Witnesses, DNA evidence and signed confession) I can't see why it's not being prosecuted.

[AwakenEvil]

I've dealt with this woman on several occasions and none of my input would be helpful and my opinion of her is subpar. Personally every few months on her tumblr page I see her asking for money to pay for this bill or that medical bill. I don't believe she is lying because from my time on fetlife there have been several accusations of sexual assaults in prior threads from parties she hosts.

[Elfy]

7 minutes ago, AwakenEvil said:

I've dealt with this woman on several occasions and none of my input would be helpful and my opinion of her is subpar. Personally every few months on her tumblr page I see her asking for money to pay for this bill or that medical bill. I don't believe she is lying because from my time on fetlife there have been several accusations of sexual assaults in prior threads from parties she hosts.

[AwakenEvil]

5 minutes ago, Elfking said:

I have to ask... If she is hosting parties where sexual assaults are happening, why doesn't she stop inviting the offender? I mean, if there is a history of this at the party and nothing is being done then this can't be surprising. Like I said in my original post, I've seen far too much online to just believe what someone says... If she had proof she was denied her rights due to a kink then she has a point, if there are more factors in play then we couldn't comment.

The fact that she has asked for money often before though certainly throws up red flags!

Keep in mind my time on fet was around 2013 and they did remove the guy that was accused of assaulting another member. He said it was consenting but since I wasn't there and I knew neither party I can't tell you where the truth lies.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

14 hours ago, Bettypooh said:

US law sucks in almost every regard. No, the DA doesn't have to prosecute diddly if he doesn't want to and nobody but a Grand Jury can supersede his decision (and maybe not even then). You might get to speak with a Judge, but officially their hands are tied- they are not given the power to bring cases, but only to hear them. They can suggest to the DA what they think appropriate and even suggest the best approach to take, but that's all. And all this can vary by which State has jurisdiction.

Knowing the system the way I do (having been wrongfully convicted of minor stuff several times) I can tell you this much: No lawyer is too good or too costly. I'd hock my soul to the devil to pay for my Attorney (and his prices are huge) but that is what it takes to see a win so you just do it or you lose. US jails are full of poor people whose main sin was not having good enough legal representation, and anyone can be next. Sorry she's poor and is having to learn the harsh truth about US law this way.

Bettypooh, the legally battered poor person.

Unfortunately, I'm afraid Bettypooh is right and I'm aware of this as someone who hasn't had to go through the system. (I just know enough lawyers in different fields to know what some of the dirty secrets of the system are. I also have a friend whose done opposition research to ensure that people have a fair or in some cases, unfair trial depending on what the job called for.) It's a sad statement of fact, but you're absolutely right about US Jails being full of poor people who couldn't afford a better attorney, guilty or not. The reason I was hoping an Admin from DD would contact her is because if what she's saying is true, than it potentially affects all of us and sets a dangerous precedent for AB/DLs as a whole. If nothing else, I was hoping that some of the useful information that's already been mentioned here could be passed along to her. Having said that, I'm not really suitable to be "the ambassador from DD" since I'm not an admin or a mod, and feel that it would be better if a staff member reached out to her for additional information rather than me. While I would like to know more about the situation, I don't want to pry, and feel information relayed to DD would be better going through the DD staff than through me and then the DD staff. Given that this woman did leave an e-mail address that she could be reached at, I'm hoping that someone on the staff might get in touch with her. Given that you can empathize with her better than most of us probably can Bettypooh, is there any chance that you could reach out to Misspandapants and attempt to verify the veracity of her claims? (Her e-mail is misspandaxxx@gmail.com.)

[Elfy]

It's not really up to us. If she wants help from the community then she should reach out, send some proof to her claim that she isn't just scamming and then maybe DD or one of the rest of us could verify it and say it is legit. If she wants to do that and send one of us admins proof so we could come here and verify it then that is fine but I don't think it should be up to other people to do the leg work for her. If she is legit in her claims and wants justice that badly she should be going to every ABDL forum/group and whatever else she can find posting her message, a picture of the letter and she might get support.

I mean, the local football team I support was threatened with being moved to a new league once that would have bankrupted the club (increased travel costs), the club protested the situation and as part of that I started a petition. But I didn't just post it on my teams forum... I went and posted it on every football group I could find, every single non-league team who had a forum I posted the message on to get support and in the end I had a few thousand signatures to hand to the club and they presented that as part of their appeal (we won the appeal btw). The point is, is you feel an injustice and want something done about it, you can't expect other people to do the leg work. She should be going everywhere she can and spreading the word. Here, fetlife, reddit, everywhere she can think of.

I'm sure she is getting what she wants from some people who don't take the time to critically think about the situation before acting. But I, personally, and I'm not talking for DD or this website as a whole, think there are far too many red flags and not enough evidence of anything she said to want to get involved at all. What AE has said about these parties having a history of this kind of thing and that she has asked for money from her followers more than once in the past just makes me want to stay as far away from that whole thing as I can.

If she would post one picture of a letter or something that showed that her case was rejected for exactly the reason she said and nothing more then maybe my stance would change, but, speaking for myself, I'm not going to do the leg work to prove her claim for her.

[Diapered Jason]

If you don't know this person, don't send this person money. That should have been the first thing said. While these things do tend happen in our courts, this particular instance is likely a scam.

[Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover]

This is a follow up to the first post I shared with you guys.

Subject: Thank you so much.

In the past 2 days, over my various social media sites, I have received an incredible and overwhelming outreach of support. Thank you so much to all the messages I

[Bettypooh]

Contact the staff? As if we can do more than the sum of our members somehow If she wants to post proof here then the whole world can help- the staff would want to see that proof anyway plus we're not rich either.

Each of you needs to make up your own mind about this. We can't verify or deny anything for you- we know no more about this than you do. If you have something about this which can be verified, share it here. The last thing I want to see is our members being deceived or misinformed.

Bettypooh

[Elfy]

And yet still no proof...

It is pretty much as expected. The people who follow her tumblr are probably donating by the bucket load because they are fans of hers and so will just believe what she says. It's kind of sad in a way because there are so many questions...

[Wet Knight]

On 15/01/2016 at 0:00 AM, Dirty Diaper/Maxipad Lover said:

[MissPandaPants]

Hi there,

So the OP of this thread pointed me here via email. I understand the skepticism and I thought I would just come and explain a few things. Keep in mind, no one has to believe me. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and that will always remain true. I can't blame people for doubting what seems like a really crazy story.

First of all, the reason ABDL is relevant to this is because it was an ADBL type party. I realized that I didn't really make that clear in my tumblr letter. I was not the host, it was in a town about four hours from where I live. It wasn't anything crazy, about six couples interested in ABDL got together for the weekend. I had met them all at previous parties. The guy who did this to me was the boyfriend of an AB girl who I'm actually really good friends with. I have never played with him or even really had much conversation because he is super quiet and often keeps to himself at parties.

[Elfy]

30 minutes ago, MissPandaPants said:

Within 30 days, I should receive an official letter from the PD that outlines why my case was closed.

Then you should definitely come back and post that when you get it because it would change a lot of minds including my own. Or post it on your blog and hopefully someone would link it here.

[Bettypooh]

As I always say, when anything legal is involved you need an attorney. I sure wish you'd gotten one right from the start because if you had they could have pressured for a prosecution. At this late point they may still be able to help some but as all in the legal system know time is the defendant's friend and it makes a successful prosecution harder by the day. I hope you see a successful outcome although there can be no real justice with this kind of thing. And thank You for coming to us directly.

Bettypooh

[AwakenEvil]

38 minutes ago, MissPandaPants said:

I however, am not surprised that the person who said this would say that though. He is actually permabanned from Fetlife for harassing me constantly. It's interesting he would come in here and say inflammatory things about me, because he actually sent me a message of support on tumblr with quite a different tone than he is using here.

[MissPandaPants]

Unfortunately, having a lawyer when you're pursuing a criminal case really doesn't do much. They aren't allowed to get involved with a criminal investigation, it's considered interference. And not to mention, the DA in this case would be considered your legal representation, since they are prosecuting.

[AwakenEvil]

5 minutes ago, MissPandaPants said:

Oh really? Is that so? I tend to disagree.