How Come It Is So Hard To Find A Mommy Or Caregiver

[brendan]

I was wondering how come it so hard to find a mommy out there or a caregiver/ babysitter. Most of the people I've seen charge money. I would love to find someone that want to do it for love not for the cash benefit.

[Vera]

For one, There tends to be more males into this than females. Two: Time and Cost... Heck, if I was ever inclined to do a Mommy role, I would probably charge if it was anything beyond babying/cuddling/playing. While the idea of having someone change your messy,wet diaper may be a thrill to you..it's not exactly the most pleasant thing in the world. From my experience a lot of the Mommies that do charge often provide diapers,clothing, and even the space to do it. These things cost money to provide...

And whose to say that these women aren't doing it out of love? I'd love to wine and dine my friends every night, provide a space for them to be relaxed and let go. However, unless I have a large sum of money coming in, it's just not possible. Just because it's not something financially possible for me to do, doesn't mean I love or care about my friends any less..

Try finding a pal on here or on fetlife, and develop a relationship. Just expecting someone to do something as intimate as that out of the kindness of their heart is unrealistic.

[dummysucker]

I found my mummy on fetlife just recently. We just started chatting about mutual interests & eventually she asked me if I wanted a mummy & she'd had nothing to do with the AB world prior to that.

[baby-elizabeth]

Probably cause everytime a girl says anything on sites like this she gets a bazillion messages from horney guys who want there diapers changed. If those males would think with there brain and not be an idiot when messaging girls, us girls would be more open and visiable.

[babymaggie]

Because guys do not understand that it is not right to bombard the females on the site with "will you be my mommy." I met my daddy on another site but I deleted so many emails from guys who were self centered and only thought about themselves. All they wanted was a mommy to change their diapers. I am very much an AB/LG and I can still be a mommy to my husband and do the things he wants, which is mainly to put him in cloth diapers. He is more my daddy but I know that I need to cpmpormise and give him what he wants and needs too.

If guys would stop looking and sounding so desperate to find a mommy and be willing to compormise, then maybe they could find mommies who love them and want to be their mommy out of love.

[annee]

I for one have had the most dumb one liners sent to my in box. So that if a lady was just wanting to learn more about this she would find so many sick and lazy request she would run as fast as she could the other way. I found out about this from my boyfriend he was with me for a while before he told me about this. But I have always been the head of our house and a very maternal person. The thing is I hate is how many guys think that because I share this with my lover that maybe I am this lady who would just love the idea of being mommy to as many guys as I could. That I am this adult diaper changing machine who loves the smell of other peoples poo. To tell the truth I have come so close to closing my account here because of pushy guys sending PM to me. With some very upsetting request. The thing is I have my own likes and dislikes just like anyone. I for one am not into cross dressing my guy. Sorry just not my thing. But I have had so many guys who think if they ask me to turn them into a sissy. I would just jump at the chance. Well that is like one of my biggest turn offs. But a lot of people are so lazy and do not even try to understand what the other person wants or needs are. Well if that is the way you are than you will never find the right person. I love role playing mommy being the dominating parent. But it is something I share with my true love. I am sure if a guy was to look for the right person and not be so pushy they could find the right person. Or at very least an understanding person.

[BabyTara]

If you were looking for a babysitter for your child, would you expect them to do it for free?

[Forced2wet]

I was wondering how come it so hard to find a mommy out there or a caregiver/ babysitter. Most of the people I've seen charge money. I would love to find someone that want to do it for love not for the cash benefit.

I would imagine that most members here have a mommy who loves them as a person rather than in love with being a mommy for them.

I suggest you find a loving partner in a relationship that does nt just involve your desire to be an AB and introduce them to it when you feel they're ready.

[baby-elizabeth]

Because guys do not understand that it is not right to bombard the females on the site with "will you be my mommy." I met my daddy on another site but I deleted so many emails from guys who were self centered and only thought about themselves. All they wanted was a mommy to change their diapers. I am very much an AB/LG and I can still be a mommy to my husband and do the things he wants, which is mainly to put him in cloth diapers. He is more my daddy but I know that I need to cpmpormise and give him what he wants and needs too.

If guys would stop looking and sounding so desperate to find a mommy and be willing to compormise, then maybe they could find mommies who love them and want to be their mommy out of love.

^^^^^ THIS!!!!!! ^^^^^

[Honu]

Brendan,

As you can see by all the ladies, including my wife, that were kind enough to respond to you, a HUGE problem at this site is that fellow heterosexual guys like us have been not only self-centered, but downright rude. This is very bad for this site because it discourages girls from posting much after they join as members. The effect is that first, it looks like the only adults that enjoy age play or the use of diapers are guys. Second, it makes fellow heterosexual guys like us think that there are no women who would at least understand our use of diapers.

What are red-blooded guys like us to do? Well, the ladies above did offer suggestions overtly and between the lines. First, treat them with some respect. You don't know them so why say things that you wouldn't say to a female college professor? Expect them to check your spelling and grammar as well as to call you on any sexist, obnoxious remark. Second, always lead with a present. Discuss what you have to offer before stating what you are looking for. It's like a newspaper advertisement. For sale: 24' ocean going yawl rigged yacht, only 5 years old and in like new condition. This begs the question, what does he want for it??? On the other hand, if you write, “I want a quarter of million dollars, inquire within.

[SoCalAB]

Check out my sitter directory. There may be someone in your local area:

http://socalab.250x.com/sitter.html

Stay Pampered

SoCalAB

[Rihanna]

Check out my sitter directory. There may be someone in your local area:

http://socalab.250x.com/sitter.html

Stay Pampered

SoCalAB

I noticed that except for one, all have the city listed before their name. Mommy Sarah only has Ontario,* Canada listed, that's like saying "(3 times the size of,) California, USA." Daddy Mike, above her, has Toronto, Ont, (Canada) listed.

NOT interested in getting or being a mommy or daddy, just too much late night time on my hands.

Anyway, I clicked on her name to try to get a city so you could update your list. Instead, I got a "This Site is Frozen" message. Up to you if you want to email her, leave as is in case her site comes back up, or delete her.

Really curious on what and why a "frozen site" is and would email her but I don't have any 'disposable' email addys.

*Ontario is big, from above Minnesota East to past New York & Niagra Falls nearly to Vermont. North to near the Arctic Circle & South/West to at one point it is South of Michigan/US. Their Southern most contigous land mass is below the Northern border of California. Add in Pelee, (due N of Cedar Point,) and several other islands in Lake Erie, Canada is S of a lot of the US.

On topic, agree w/above posters on the 'self centered,' 'rude,' & 'compromise' issues.

[Repaid1]

As for Mommy Sarah, having a frozen website means she possibly hasn't paid the bill or whatever. Means they are holding it and she just needs to contact the WebMaster it seems for whatever reason it may be.

She list that she is a traveling caregiver. In the past she has posted on here that she will be in Washington State, CA, and I believe not to long ago she was on the east coast from FL up to NY at some point meeting babies along the way. I have visited her website before and she described in detail her travels, so I believe when she was more based at home she would travel the extent of Ontario and Beyond to meet up. Not sure of the other fellow but I believe he had similar situation.

[BriGuy]

I've always found my mommies by being genuine, honest, open, and positive about my Abdl side. All of the women I have been with who got involved with my Abdl stuff were vanila to begin with aside from my wife. She was kinky from the get go, just had no clue what Abdl was.

[BabyJune]

It is demeaning to women when people think that THEY are the ones who are the best at changing diapers and doing all the "mommy" stuff. That's why we now have the STEM programs in our schools--to teach young girls that they can pursue Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math instead of being expected to do "female" stuff which limits them. Maybe if guys would offer women a chance to expand their horizons and explore all that they want to be, then they would be more willing to "try something new." I'm sure that playing Mommy to a man isn't fulfilling to a woman--that's why some women charge a fee for it. Sorry if I'm up on my soapbox, but I believe in treating women with the same respect I want to be treated with.

[DavidMW]

I noticed that except for one, all have the city listed before their name. Mommy Sarah only has Ontario,* Canada listed, that's like saying "(3 times the size of,) California, USA." Daddy Mike, above her, has Toronto, Ont, (Canada) listed.

Anyway, I clicked on her name to try to get a city so you could update your list. Instead, I got a "This Site is Frozen" message.

Really curious on what and why a "frozen site" is and would email her but I don't have any 'disposable' email addys.

It's been really cold in Canada lately. A lot of sites have frozen over.

:-P

[redtiger]

This has been one of the most interesting threads i have read in a long time, Its really nice to see some actual conversations. If everyone looking for someone would read this thread then I think that our community could be a much better place.

As for my experince, I havent had much but I was in a commited relationship for about a year before i told my partner about my fetish. When I told her she didn't freak out, i just explained it as best i could. She was accepting of it and occasionally we would incorporate diapers into our lives. Im only DL though so ive never wanted a "mommy" per se, nor have I wanted to wear 24/7. The best advice, as mentioned before, is to start a healthy relationship and then whenever you feel like the time is right, tell your partner about what you want. Chances are they will be accepting and even willing to somehow participate.

[MoMoMo]

Or you can go to somewhere like USlittles or CapCon (not advertising just suggesting.) where you can try to meet people in real life (in a enviorment that everyone is equal in.) and the first impression wont be from four to six words . (such as: "will you be my mommy" "Will you Diaper Me" or "gooo goo ga ga") <---- not appealing as a first e-mail. <3

[BigC300]

I think guys desperately seeking a Mommy should stop and consider exactly what it is they are seeking. If they already have a lover who isn't into the diaper scene, maybe these guys could get the immediate satisfaction they seek by paying professional abdl care givers. These people offer exactly what the abdl desires for a fee.

On the other hand, I think someone you have invested your tender love and care in, who is your lover, should want to try to meet your needs by doing a little role playing.

[baby-elizabeth]

I think guys desperately seeking a Mommy should stop and consider exactly what it is they are seeking. If they already have a lover who isn't into the diaper scene, maybe these guys could get the immediate satisfaction they seek by paying professional abdl care givers. These people offer exactly what the abdl desires for a fee.

On the other hand, I think someone you have invested your tender love and care in, who is your lover, should want to try to meet your needs by doing a little role playing.

Well said!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Simply put, if you think having a mommy/care giver means having a mate while sitting on your butt and doing nothing then that would be why you're alone.(not accusing anyone of behaving like this, just pointing out that three minutes on fetlife and you can figure out why the same people ahve personal ad after personal ad) Relationships require work and a mutual benefit to exist. there are plenty of mommy types out there but they are inundated with requests from people who have no clue how to be in a relationship. It's the same reason I don't want to full time daddy anymore, too many little girls just want to sit on their ass, be waited on hand and foot and demand my full attention. That isn't how it works, you have to be an adult and carry your fair load of the relationship too. I probably get this a little easier being a switch, ideally I'd like to find another switch or someone a bit more on the domme/big side of things for a long term relationship. I like the whole abdl side of the equation but I do enjoy being a provider, supporter and nurter for my significant other as well. I don't expect to only receive but I fully expect to have to pour back out into the relationship as well. Essentially if there isn't balance and harmony then the relationship will fall apart.

As far as looking, the idea is to show what ytou can offer and I don't mean as far as income, housing and all that gold digger nonsense that so many think they're entitled to. The idea is to show that you are a mature adult or can pretend to be one when needed and that you have ambition in life and a plan of action. you want to show him or her that you aren't a basket case and that spending time with you is going to be of a benefit.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Oh dear me, the whole desperation thing is such a huge turn off to an almost sickening degree.

[baby-elizabeth]

Oh dear me, the whole desperation thing is such a huge turn off to an almost sickening degree.

Exactly that's why other girls dont show themselfs, its like throwing raw meat to wolfs. Its not pretty.

[Allerai]

It's disappointing that these conversations even need to take place...

[BigC300]

Consider our Chinese friends. They cannot find females to even try to make friends with due the people's lack of interest in having girl babies...for the last twenty years!