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babymaggie
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Everything posted by babymaggie
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We have a 9 year old terrier mix at home. He is the best support dog. He understands which one of us he needs to be with at any given time. Like the past week when I was sick, he stayed on the bed with me. When I ended up in the emergency room on Thursday, he was concerned and wanted to go, he then became needy with my husband until I was back home. Since my husband/daddy works from home, our dog goes to work with him and helps him with the stress of his job.
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I did it!!! I will be graduating with my Masters in Early Childhood Education with a 4.0. Now I gave up my goal of keeping a 4.0 last summer when people who had my best interest said that I was putting to much pressure on myself. That was true given all I was going through last summer and even now.
Now I can allow the little sides more freedom, not that they don't already have freedom to be out whenever they want. As a treat Maggie can get the SIsu dragon from Raya and the Last Dragon, she is obsessed with the dragon.
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Yes I do. I wear a pull-up or diaper all day. I have a medication that relaxes my bladder plus I have no real warning when I need to go.
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UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!! I hate triple digit heat. I want to go back to the perfect temperatures of Hawaii. Also I hate QUIZZES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Maybe a ***HUG** and a BIG Blueberry SMOOTHIE would help you?
***gives you a virtual Smoothie**
Brian
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Back in town so soon??? WOW!! Fast trip! Been to Hawaii a couple of times and, honestly...I wasn't to enthusiastic about it. Kind of like how everyone raves about Aculpulco mexico....kind of a dried up has-been destination..... I dnt get the allure. BUt, as long as you both had FUN and enjoyed yourselves....that is what is important!! ??
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I hate shopping in actual stores. However, I doubly hate it when I am in a hurry and everyone else is in my way and slow. When COVID hit, we did even more shopping online which is perfect for me. We only go into grocery stores for groceries, maybe Lowes, daddy's store. When we were in Hawaii, I had to go into box lunch, Disney Store, Hot Topic, and of course Barnes and Noble. Those stores are not crowded so I do okay. I could live in a bookstore. Sorry you got stuck in line and had to wait, it is very frustrating.
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My little selves are having so much fun on vacation. Maggie had so much fun on the boat today while her daddy went diving. I really needed this vacation. The boat, the waves, wind in my face, reading while daddy was diving, it was just what I needed. Oh and I am completely obsessed with chocolate milk bubble tea.
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Looks like the vacation WAS exactly what you and your little selves needed, and during it, you are able to indulge in things, and enjoy the time together: My parents were married in 1983, and they told me that they wanted to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon. Ironically, my parents have been happily married for 38 years, and they STILL have not taken an official "honeymoon" and they have not gotten to Hawaii yet, and I don't know if they plan on it someday, but My brother Dan was "stranded" there fir a WEEK when the C-135 transport he was riding in when deployed was broke down - He looked like he enjoyed himself.
I NEED a vacation at some point: However, I don't see that happening
Unless my bro Eric flies me to Dallas to see him, or to Orlando to spend a week at their timeshare condo at Westgate.
Chocolate Milk Bubble Tea?? YUMMY!! what is that? Sounds like something that is as good as a glass of HOT Ginger Tea, or Ginger ALE: My Favorite
Glad you are having fun - send some more sun up here to VT for me *grin* *hugs*
Take Care, Have FUN, be SAFE!
Brian
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I love Hawaii. Tomorrow we get to go to Northshore and get the yummy shave ice with vanilla ice cream and adzuki beans, then go to the beach. Oh I got to do lots of shopping at Box Lunch, Hot Topic, Barnes and Noble, and Little Maggie got a few toys from the Disney Store. Daddy is going scuba diving on Thursday, hopefully I can go on the boat.
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Busy, busy, busy. Yesterday I had a great birthday even though I worked. I am deep in the heart of my big scary capstone paper but so close to the end of graduate school. I also started an Early Childhood Trauma Informed Care Certificate program that will go through September. Apparently, I love school now, too bad I didn't as a child. We are three sleeps away from our Hawaii trip and I am excited. I just hope that flashback memories can give me a break and let me have a peaceful, fun vacation.
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I am sorry you are having a bad night. I am as well but it is due to flashback memories that I buried so deep as a child. I wish they had stayed buried. I too think the economy is worse than what people are saying and everything goes keeps going up in price. I am sorry your little self does not have juice. Self-are routines are important. I hope you can find something that your little self and you can use as self-care. I hope your day tomorrow is better. One thing, do deep breaths. I know everyone says that but in order for deep breaths to be effective, you need to do belly breaths and they need to be done in sets of three. Anything that might help.
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Bangs head on wall. Uggggggggggggggggggggg this capstone paper is going to drive me crazy!!!!!!
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I have been seeing a therapist for almost a year now for Chronic PTSD, and General Anxiety Disorder. I was also in an intense therapy group both as a partial patient and then intense out patient therapy group. The last year and a half has been really difficult for me but I know I need to go through this so that I can enjoy life. At first I had not even mentioned my age regression or my three little inner children. However in the intense out patient group I had to do inner childhood work. My therapist that I am currently seeing knows about my littles, Maggie, Sarah, and Megan. She knows their ages, she sees the toys and stuffies that I bring to my therapy sessions. She completely understands why they exist. I have not nor do I plan on telling her about the diapers.
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Crazy
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Lately I feel that I want to just retreat into my little selves and stay there. Of course I can't because I have to many adult responsibilities such as my capstone paper, work, my new course that I am starting in June for trauma-informed care. I just wish I could just close that Pandora's box that was opened last year.
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Well, find some fun silly duck!! The last year and a half has sucked all the fun away. But, we are two and a half weeks away from my birthday and our trip.
If you try the float spa tell me how you liked it. For me the thought makes my anxiety a little high.
Daddy is never old!!
Okay, time to pay attention in class. TTFN
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When you really, really need to get a paper done for school, that you have been procrastinating on for days and days because the stupid memory nightmare is on a loop playing in your head. Frustrated because everyone says well just think of something else, yay like I haven't tried that a billion times. I need to get this paper done by Friday, then I need to find my inner peace or something quick because I start the capstone final class of grad school next Tuesday.
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I don't know if this would be of any help to you, but here's what I sometimes do (and am doing right now, although by typing this, I am theoretically procrastinating again...). If I have a big project that I dread getting started on and that I know I will find countless distractions to pull me away from (Oh my God, the blinds need dusting! Where's the dog's brush?!? Must find that sock that's been missing for 8 months...), I will "reward myself" by using my pacifier while I work (I usually only sleep with it), and, I'll work in just a diaper and a shirt, because that will keep me in my office, and not wandering all over the house, looking for other things to do, since doing that would require pants.
I've also developed a strategy wherein I compartmentalize childhood experiences that I'd rather not think about, and I give myself time when I know I can open those moments up and examine them and think about them, and then put them away again, and by doing so, I am both acknowledging that they are part of my story, but also putting them in their place and not giving them omnipresent power over me. But I know that's not something everyone can do, and the nature of trauma is that it's interruptions can be unpredictable and uncontrollable. I wish you all the best and I hope you nail that paper.
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Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We finally get to go on a trip. It is unofficially for my birthday but it is also a business trip to Hawaii. I am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yet my anxiety is up only because of COVID. While I am vaccinated there is still risk. It hate this new normal but I am going to love our trip!!!!!!!!!!
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Thanks Duckie and Brian,
My first birthday trip was supposed to be our cruise to Alaska but thanks to COVID it was CANCELLED AGAIN. So for the third time it is rescheduled for next summer. Third time is the charm or so I hear. Anyways Hawaii is option number 2. Still fun though.
Brian, my anxiety is always high these day, but since I am high risk I am super careful. We are both vaccinated as well. I used to live in Florida.
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Friday was a rough day for me emotional and mentally. However, after an emergency session with my therapist and telling my husband/daddy what I had remembered from my past, I did feel better. It helps that my therapists who knows about my littles, as inner children suggested that I watch Frozen 2 which I watch every Saturday, so wanted me to watch it before bed so that I would have an innocent image in my head instead of the horrible image from my nightmare memory. While she does not know the truth about diapers, I trust her and I know that she does not judge me for my little sides. She understands them. So I watched Frozen 2 and was able to get some sleep last night so her suggestion worked.
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I feel like I have fallen down the rabbit hole. It really sucks when you come to the realization that you never got to experience the innocence of childhood because someone took it from you. My little selves are making more sense to me but in reality I want me innocent childhood back.
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Alice in Wonderland, "Curiouser and Curiouser: If I had a world of my own everything would be nonsense nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't." I need my own world like this right now
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Happy New Year everyone. I will be spending time with my husband/daddy and reading, reading, and reading.
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Merry Christmas! I love Christmas, the lights, decorated tree, Christmas movies and music, cookie baking. Thankfully my little sides allow me to keep the magic of Christmas and for that I am grateful. Little Maggie is super excited for tonight and Santa. This year especially I need the magic of Christmas. While I love the magic of the season I also keep the true reason for the season close to me, my faith thankfully is strong otherwise I do not think I could have handled this year.
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I hope everyone had a happy and safe Thanksgiving. It was just me and my husband/daddy but the day was great. This year the holiday's will be hard for many who are not able to be with family. I am grateful for my small little family, the fact that I am still employed during this pandemic, and that my health is good.
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Don't nap on a good day?
babymaggie replied to DailyDi's topic in Restlessfox's Depression Discussion
Sorry the nap made you upset. Honestly, I hate naps even on bad days. Started therapy this year for traumatic events from childhood that should have been dealt with years ago but were never to be talked about and as far as others were concerned nothing happened and I was fine. I was far from fine and only began to realize just how it messed me up. Dealing with feelings and memories that I buried so deep has had me come unglued several times this year. I was told it gets worse before it gets better, I hope better is soon. I hope you are having a better day today. -
I use Abena Abri-flex Premium Protection level 3 pull-ups for work, doctors, and therapy appointments.
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I am not one who would ever decorate for Christmas before Thanksgiving. However, 2020 has pushed me to my limits. I have both Christmas decorations and Thanksgiving decorations up at the same time this year, which I kind of like. I need to surround myself in happiness right now. I am tired of anxiety attacks this year. Memories won't leave me alone. Thankfully my husband/daddy has been great.
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He did not give up the guitar but he is now focusing primarily on the violin.
The goal isn't a crime you are correct. However, it has to do with the self-destructive behaviors that daddy thinks I may go back to if for some reason the 4.0 doesn't happen. His concern and the therapists concern is that they do not want me to put pressure on myself. It's complicated.
Thanksgiving was nice and quiet but relaxing and full of good food. My elf, Sparkle has returned, well a couple of week ago. She makes sure little Maggie stays good. Today Sparkle is trying to climb the Christmas tree. 2020 cannot ruin my holiday's.
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I graduate from my intensive outpatient group therapy program today. I am happy and scared at the same time which is just stupid since I never wanted to be in the program to begin with. I can do this. I am strong, I am a fighter. I have amazing support.
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I want to send my congratulations to you, and tell you that you should be VERY PROUD of what you have accomplished. Therapy is hard sometimes, and having to share intimate details of what you are going through can be hard to do - It is OK to be scared, but know that you have done what you had to do, and know that your family and friends and those who are closest to you are there for you: You DO have supports, and you MADE it, just remember that when you need support, they will be there - You are STRONG, You are Happy, and now, you will secure in the knowledge that you can cross this task off the list *HUG*
Good Job, and Good Luck!
Brian
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