Night Time Bedwetting & Getting Back In Control

[padded_husky]

I originally apllied to an existing topic but it did not seem to be updating on views so I was not sure if it was even visible. So, I decided to make a fresh topic. if this is a repost on an exisiting topic I appologies. With that said, I have a history during my childhood of bedwetting (I am sure I have mentioned this here before). I did not stop wearing diapers till I was 9 and I continued to have problems off and on through out my life. To make a long story short, a few years ago I had bronchitus twice, became depressed, suicidal...etc starting wearing diapers again because they made me happy and helped me relaxed. I am no longer depressed or suicidal or anything like that, I am through all that (just to make that clear).

I since then have been wearing every night to bed because it has just became a habit. They help me sleep better and they make me happy (I dont have to tell you guys that obvoiusly that is not anything new I am sure for people). I do not wear during the day unless I have a day off and even then its usually an ocasional thing. However, since I have been wearing to bed every night, I have been having the bedwetting problem alot again. I feel like I am not in control of the problem and I do not want it to get worse. So I was just wondering if anyone had any advice as to things I could do to be back in control of the problem. Usually I have (through out my life) had it mostly under control with only a few accidents every once in a while but lately its been almost every day. and diaper leaks are becoming more of an issue. I do not want this to be a problem when I meet someone. I want to be in control because I do not want to meet someone and not be confident that I can share a bed without it becoming a problem. I really like to avoid seeing a doctor if I can because that is really expensive and I want that to be a last resort if I can help it. So I was thinking maybe someone with experience in the issue could tell me things I could do maybe to help. I just want to be in control of the situation again.

[drynot]

That is a bit of a conundrum. I've never been 'truly' dry at night. I've gone long stretches with dry diapers but I'm in diapers most nights. You should reconsider speaking to your doctor about it. Night wetting might be the symptom of a bigger issue....or it could even be something as simple as having an allergy or being sensitive to caffeine. For myself...if I drink a lot of soda or have alcohol I'm guaranteed a saturated diaper in the morning.

Have you tried anything like restricting fluids before bed or avoiding certain types of foods or drinks at all?

I know it's expensive but seeing your doctor might be the best option.

[JBonn]

This may or may not work for you, but I find it affects my bedwetting.

Try using very thick or very tight diapers. I find that when I have those on I tend to wet less and wake up more with the urge to go. Totally unscientific, but my guess is that the constriction on the urethra prevents any involuntary "leakage". However if I wear a diaper with more space for the frank and beans to float around in... things tend to flow free in the night. Again, just me, but see if it works. Something else that tends to help is if I'm on a regular schedule - go to bed the same time, wake up the same time. If I vary wildly, especially if I sleep late in the day, I'm more apt to wake up having wet later in the morning.

[Guest jeff142]

Something that works for me when i fell like im luseing it, is wareing a very tight diaper over my underwear, this way your mind connects the felling of the wetness to wetting (idea behind pullups also) and if you dont like the wet felling your mind will make the link.

you could try a alarm but i have no idea if they work. the above sounds odd, but it works for me at lest.

[padded_husky]

You should reconsider speaking to your doctor about it. Night wetting might be the symptom of a bigger issue....or it could even be something as simple as having an allergy or being sensitive to caffeine. For myself...if I drink a lot of soda or have alcohol I'm guaranteed a saturated diaper in the morning.

Have you tried anything like restricting fluids before bed or avoiding certain types of foods or drinks at all?

I know it's expensive but seeing your doctor might be the best option.

I know I should see a doctor about the issue but i just flat out cant afford it. I have heard horror stories about what they have to do to find the underlineing problem. I will as a last resort but I would like for it to be a last resort. I am however curious about the possibility of allergies? I have heard that caffiene is a diaretic and that it can cause issues and I will admit I do generally drink HEAVY amounts of soda during the day. like... probably before I get home I've had at least 64 oz of coca-cola but for the past week I have been trying to cut down on callories to help loose some weight so I recently have cut down on my soda consumption and switched to diet. I no longer drink soda at home but I have been drinking alot of milk lately and I do find myself incredably thirsty at night. so I am gonna try to cut down on liquide consumption.

Try using very thick or very tight diapers. I find that when I have those on I tend to wet less and wake up more with the urge to go. Totally unscientific, but my guess is that the constriction on the urethra prevents any involuntary "leakage". However if I wear a diaper with more space for the frank and beans to float around in... things tend to flow free in the night. Again, just me, but see if it works. Something else that tends to help is if I'm on a regular schedule - go to bed the same time, wake up the same time. If I vary wildly, especially if I sleep late in the day, I'm more apt to wake up having wet later in the morning.

Actually I have noticed that when I wear curtain night time clothing that I rarely leak at all and usually they do fit snug around my diaper. That doesn't sound too impossible. For now I am gonna continue to insure that my diaper is tight and snug however I am buying store brand diapers to save money. (Sam's Club brand) and I double them at night (stuff one inside another). I have been told that if I get a better diaper like Dry 24/7 or Abena that my chances of leaking is very very low. As far as a regular schedual goes its dificult because I work different scheduales and they change so frequently. For now I am trying to reduce the leaking problems however my ultamate goal is to be confident that I can choose not to wear and not have an accident or maybe get to a point where if I have an accident it is very small. Right now its just like when I was a kid. I flat out will not wake up when I have to go and I will go several times before realizing it. I just dont want this to be a problem when meeting someone and I want to be confident in myself that I am in control of the situation. As far as alarms go I have heard that those dont work, however, I do have an alarm on my phone which is always next to my bed so maybe I can use that?

[CDLover]

I agree with you about the habit of wearing diapers at night. I've been doing this for about 15 years. I really don't feel a need not wear diapers except for those times we are away...

On those nights wearing diapers to bed (99% of the time) I wake up wet. When I don't wear diapers I am dry. What happens if you don't wear diapers, do you still wet the bed?

[padded_husky]

I agree with you about the habit of wearing diapers at night. I've been doing this for about 15 years. I really don't feel a need not wear diapers except for those times we are away...

On those nights wearing diapers to bed (99% of the time) I wake up wet. When I don't wear diapers I am dry. What happens if you don't wear diapers, do you still wet the bed?

Well I've had a few nights where i didn't wear for one reason or another and I get mixed results. Ultimately I'm afraid that if I don't wear I will have accidents all the time but maybe I should go a few nights without wearing and see. You know honestly I don't want to stop wearing at night because I sleep really good when I do and it makes me happy. I just want to be in control when I go. Last night I made sure the diaper was tight and snug. I used some boxer briefs over them and over that I had a pair of Aeropostale sweat pant shorts on and I woke up completely dry! On top of that I didn't wake up once feeling the need to go. Before the problem started becoming an issue again, I would wake up with the urge to go at least 3 or more times a night which made it difficult to get good rest and even then I would wake up to an accident every once in a while so I just don't understand. I just want to wear diapers and not be a bed wetter if that makes sense. I want the option to go weeks with out a diaper on and not have to worry about having an accident or at least reach a point where I only have an accident once every few weeks. I was aware of monitoring my drinking last night so maybe I did not drink as much as I usually do. In that case I think I'm gonna try that from now on and and see if that helps.

[mahleedl]

OP, hopefully you have better luck than I have had with a very similar issue.

I wet the bed well into my teens, but was 100% dry for almost 25 years. I began wetting again about 6 months ago, and quickly went from a couple of accidents to nightly. I've been to 4 docs multiple times over the past couple of months, including 2 urologists and a shrink. We've eliminated all the really scary potential causes (such as bladder cancer and diabetes) as well as the easy to fix ones like a UTI, and the shrink pronounced me "emotionally healthy" in his opinion. I basically have no answers, and not much left to follow up on. It's a good thing I enjoy diapers, because it would appear that I now need them. At least it's only at night

As far as leaking goes, I can give you better news there. I'm certain you can find something that will work for you. I like disposables, but by themselves, they don't cut it for me at night. It doesn't matter how well I tape, or how well the diaper fits, I leak at the sides where the front/back overlap. Regular plastic pants don't seem to help, at least not for me. They just move the leak to the waistband or the legs. What does work for me is a rubber pant, or a terry lined plastic pant. I'm told that switching to cloth would be even better, but I really like disposables.

I really hope you have better luck than I have with this!

[Craisler]

The obvious solution is to stop wearing diapers every night. Not what you wanted to hear, but that's the only real solution I see. Try going without on an irregular schedule. What you want to do is train yourself to wake up and use the toilet when you're not wearing diapers and unconsciously wet them when you are diapered. Because you're so comfortable when going to sleep while diapered, you just automatically wet because there are no consequences. If you're not diapered and you do wet the bed, you'll have to get up and change the sheets. I would think you'd fairly quickly learn when it's okay to wet and when it isn't. Obviously, you should use a waterproof bed pad or mattress cover to protect the bed.

[padded_husky]

Well, I didn't want to Start a new topic considering this is really a continuation of this topic post (which I already started) so I though I would ask and update here instead. As I have already discussed my bed wetting problem (including history) in this and other topic posts I will not go into detail repeating myself. After reading pinned topics in this forum, online and advice from a friend who is a Physical Therapist, I have come to realize that "curing" this problem will not happen over night and seeing a specialist will not only equate to several possible visits but tons of spent money and I think for now I'm just going to accept and deal with the problem like I have been since I was a kid. It's a really frustrating problem (as you all may obviously already know) but I think a good amount of my frustration could be relieved if I learned to manage it better so with that said I have a few questions.

First of all I would like to know if there is really that much of a difference between buying store brand diapers and online diapers like abena xplus or dry24/7? Curently I'm buying store brand diapers from Sam's Club (large pack of 48 diapers for $20) obviously for there price and even though I double them by stuffing one inside another for more absorption, I still leak usually for 3 reasons, (1) they overflow (2) they leak if I'm unintentionally sleeping on my stomach or side (3) (i don't mean to be TMI) if I become randomly erect during the night they leak out the side or top. If spending a little more money on different brand diapers will help increase my odds of a leak free night then I will do that.

My other question is in regards to traveling. In May I will be attending a furry convention and have booked a hotel room with a friend for 4 nights. My friend is slightly aware of the problem but I'm embarrassed about the idea that I might soak the bed in the middle of the night and need to change the sheets or call room service or whatever. I want a good experience and I don't want to have any problems while rooming with my friend. I was wondering what precautions I should take when staying at a hotel. Should I let the hotel know? Do they have things for people like me to protect the bed and should I request extra sheets or should I just spend the money and buy my own? What is the proper Etiquette for a bedweter when spending the night at a hotel?

Any other suggestions would be helpful if I forgot anything. I'm just done with waking up soaked from chest to knees in urin. I hate having to change sheets every other night and having to do extra laundry because of soaked pajamas and bed sheets! If I'm gonna have accidents every night I would like to be able to sleep through the night knowing I'm protected. I would like to keep my bed, sheets and body as dry as possible. If it helps at all I have to go during the night more then the entire day so bathroom breaks would be 2 or 3+ times a night otherwise.

[mahleedl]

I feel for you.

[Baby Brian]

padded husky, I've said this in other posts and will gladly repeat it here. Yes there is a BIG difference in store bought vs online diapers. You can buy cheap diapers at $0.42 each diaper and have to change every 4 hours, or you can buy a premium diaper for $0.65 each and change every 8 hours. Cheap = $0.10 per hour while Premium = $0.08 per hour. If your doubling up or adding pads then it's more like $0.20 vs $0.08) That may not seem like much of a big difference but it adds up to a lot of waste. Not only are the premium diapers cheaper but there are more options out there too. You're bound to find one with the right fit which won't leak anywhere near as often, will feel more comfortable, and etc, etc. Not only that but if you sleep for 8 hours you won't wake up in a soaked bed. Otherwise I'd plan to set your alarm for a change after 3-4 hours of sleep, maybe you can get back to sleep after that extra change. Please note there are few, if any, disposable diapers out there that will not leak any at all if you sleep on your side. Premiums are much, much better about this but I'd recommend you use cloth for no leaks at all.

[foundationbaby]

I've had to wear store bought on occasion because I didn't pack enough of my premium diapers for a trip. There is a huge difference between the cheapos and the premium brand diapers. It didn't used to be that way...I could...once upon a time use Depends or Attends and they actually would hold a couple of wettings. I actually liked Attends a lot better than Depends.

[mahleedl]

Attends was my go-to forever!

[padded_husky]

Thanks for the advice, I have been avoiding ordering online diapers because of shipping. I'm woried some drunk in my apartment building will steal my packages thinking he can sell it for money or something. I need to look into a PO BOX or maybe leaving it at the post office for me to pick up then because store brand diapers are not absorbent or tall enough. As far as my friend who I am rooming with goes she knows about my problem (incredibly brief conversation) and she knows I am a babyfur but I didn't go into detail about my problem. I'm too embarrassed to talk to the hotel so maybe I should just ask them what size the bed is and buy plastic cover and sheets for it myself?

[babykeiff]

Padded husky,

[Baby Brian]

I need to look into a PO BOX or maybe leaving it at the post office for me to pick up...

[foundationbaby]

Attends was my go-to forever!

[Dill_Pickle]

mahledl and padded husky:

Just to make you aware, there are a couple of alternatives for protection at night that you may want to try: Warning: YMMV.

1) External catheter setups. Get one of these at your medical supply center, or on-line. I have had the best luck with the silicone external catheters, a diaper for accidents, and an old, holey sock over a rubber band at the top of the thigh to hold things in place and prevent kinking at the catheter tip.

2) Bedwetting alarms. (or, you can also do a timed pee in the middle of the night into my next suggestion).

3) A jar or urinal by the bedside. I use gatorade jars, which have nice, wide mouths, because I drink a lot of it. If you re-use the container, rinse it with drugstore hydrogen peroxide to make it smell better.

4) have someone check you for sleep apnea. This upcoming furry convention is an excellent chance to have your room mate check on you if you can't afford the sleep study. I'm on my third week of CPAP, and there's a stranger waking up in my bed...myself, with a lot more energy, and the CPAP isn't doing its full job yet!

5) Drop the soda. There's a lot of evidence that "diet" soda will actually make you hungrier, and "diet" certainly isn't caffeine free. Gradually substitute in water, and treat soda like you would any other drug. I get withdrawal symptoms (a very unpleasant headache) from caffeine.

6) Start asking for a more constant schedule, even if you end up always working the graveyard shift. Constanly shifting schedules are very unhealthy and mind-destroying -- it takes about six weeks to fully adjust to a new shift, and there is lots of scientific evidence to back this up. Being really tired (from the constant shift changes) will worsen your bedwetting problems. Most major industrial accidents are associated with a recent shift change, so most of the people on the job weren't really awake. Cite Doctor's authority when talking with your bosses.

7) Find ouit if your area has a "free clinic" (there certainly is one in my area -- Charlottesville, VA) and see if you can use it. If your sleeping is a problem, you are going to need at least two Dr's appts to get a CPAP, and the prices being charged are exhorbitant, so you will want to get a subsidy.

8) Finally, try to get some ouitdoor exercise. It is an important protector of health of all kinds.

[DavidMW]

[mahleedl]

When I first started wetting the bed again last year I fought it hard. I went to multiple docs, tried DDAVP, setting alarms, eliminating caffeine, restricting fluids, etc... After a few months of no success, I reminded myself that I'm a DL and that since I started wetting the bed again, I've slept better than any other time in my life. I no longer want a cure. This is my cure, lol.

[Creepymouse]

Start asking for a more constant schedule, even if you end up always working the graveyard shift. Constanly shifting schedules are very unhealthy and mind-destroying -- it takes about six weeks to fully adjust to a new shift, and there is lots of scientific evidence to back this up.

This.

[padded_husky]

Well, to clear up a few things, I wanna start by saying I've had this problem most of my life and it has only become more of an issue gradually in the past few years. I wet the bed every night till I was 9 and even after I quite wearing diapers, I still had accidents a few times a month. One of my biggest issues is the fact that I have to go potty in the middle of the night easily 3 or more times. Its like my body has 4 bladders to empty out at night!

I am familiar with sleep apnia because my dad has been diagnost with it (finally) 2 months ago. I have been trying to get him to get tested for over a year now. with that said, i do not have a problem eith getting goodc

Rest in fact if anything i sleepctoo well. When I'm wearing I don't wake up, PERIOD. I completely sleep through the night and if I have to go, generally when I have to go, either my body just releases it with out warning or Im in such a deep sleep that the warning is not strong enough to wake me up... Not sure what it is however woken up from the urgancy to go potty while wearing a diaper a few time however, I have no explanation.

I did stop wearing diapers for the last 2 months to see if maybe I could get it better under control and I didn't really see much of an improvement. As usual, when I am not padded and I'm sleeping without a diaper on, I usually wake up either In the middle ofvalready wetting the bed or At the exact moment of wetting e bed unless I'm in a deep sleep in which I don't wake up until I feel like I'm swimming in a cold river. That is when I realize I have soaked the bed. However I will admit I feel like in a 7 day week I have better ods waking up if I don't wear then when I do because I sleep WAY better when I wear a diaper to bed. I think this might be part of the problem. I think my problem is that I have to go so Frequently and with such urgency that when I am sleeping that if I'm getting too good of sleep, my body doesn't know I need to go and I just go.

Honestly, I can't find a pattern! Last night I only put on one diaper with no stuffer and I didnt wake feel the need to go potty till that morning and usually I can Guarantee soaking the bed when I only wear one! So honestly I have no clue what the deal is! The problem did start to get worse a few years go when I started wearing diapers for the first time since i was 9. So maybe that has something to do with it but its really frustrating. I just wish i could wear to bed becausd it makes me happu when im not a bedwetter.

I wan't to say that I work out at the gym for a half to an hour a day 6 days a week (excluding Sunday unless I skipped a day). I wake up every morning around 7 am and generally work 10 to 6 o'clock shifts as a contract salesman for 2 cellular carriers. I do drink a lot of soda (diet) probably more then anyone should, I don't drink enough water and I am addicted to milk at night. I crave milk usually in the middle of the night so if I do wake up in the middle of the night regardless I can guarantee that I am craving milk in which I keep stocked. I will not wear a cathator or keep a unreal jar bedside, that's unsanitary (both) and if I am waking up to go, I can go to the bathroom seeing as I live in a 365 sq ft studio.

[DavidMW]

Back in November you indicated that you hadn't seen a doctor about this? Has that changed? If there is an underlying medical condition, the longer treatment is put off sometimes the harder things become to treat. I'm not overlooking your concern about the cost, but advice and comments from the internet can only go so far if there is an underlying medical condition. (Unchecked diabetes, for example, can lead to increased urination and bedwetting.)

With the history of bedwetting, your body was probably predisposed to increased bedwetting when you started diapering up a few years ago. And that it's gone on for a few years had reinforced it. It may not have been your plan to follow aspects of the 12-month-plan posted in the Desires forum, but the more you reinforce a wetting behavior, the more likely it will take root, even for those nights when you're not diapered. How much it does varies a lot from person to person. Some Incon-Desires posters report little success in achieving sleep-wetting. It increased for you a lot. In my case, when I wear/deliberately use diapers in bed for several nights in a row, the sleep-wettings increase quite a bit in just a month, so my body seems to have that predisposition, too.

Some people who've lost control have reported trying to get it back, but the success varies quite a bit on that point from one person to the next, too. Some report rapid return to continence, some get mixed results, and some struggle with it for years. You could be in the last group. Or, with your history of bedwetting, you may have much in common with Mahleedl's described experience.

The giving up a great night's sleep for frequent nighttime wakings sucks. I got the best sleep I had in years during a recent 30 days/nights in diapers, and now get up around 3x but sometimes as many as 6x a night to go to the bathroom, like I've done for quite a while except when long-term diapered. My wakings actually increased in the last year, something I talked to my doctor about just a couple weeks ago. I drink too much diet pop and drink beverages right up until bedtime, so I'm not surprised that I'd wake up at least once to pee. By the 3rd or 4th time, though, I can't imagine where all that pee could possibly be coming from. The doctor's advice, not surprisingly, was to reduce caffeine, especially after dinner and to curtail all beverages at least a few hours before bedtime.

From what others have posted elsewhere, retraining to continence can involve more than just not wearing diapers to bed. Change your liquid consumption patterns, including giving up the middle of the night milk. Set an alarm for a few times during the night to get you up to use the bathroom. It's harder to sleep-wet if you keep your bladder empty. And keep in mind it could take months or even years to retrain to continence or mostly continence if you're able to get back to that state at all.

You may want the option to wear diapers to bed for enjoyment or better sleep reasons, but given your body's disposition towards sleep-wetting, that just may not be an option for you if you want control. I'd love to diaper up every night specifically because I sleep so much better when I do, but getting to the point where I no longer had control would be a real inconvenience for all the travel I do, so I don't.

[Dill_Pickle]

A bedside urinal is significantly less "unsanitary" than soaked sheets, or a warm, damp diaper! Remember that urine is supposed to be sterile when it comes out of you. Some actually drink it.

In your shoes, I would say that a good night's sleep is probably the most important thing, without it you will not be able to change anything else, so work on the good night's sleep and stay diapered. You can train yourself not to wet with an alarm later.