Looking For A Piece Of Advice

[WakkoWannaBe]

Hey all,

So to cut to the point: I live with 2 other guys (they're brothers), 1 of whom is a college student along with myself. I've been wondering if I should tell them about my ABDL side so that I can start wearing again - but I'm not sure if I should go through with it.

The last "phase" of wearing that I went through started probably about a year ago and that lasted for maybe 3 months. That was the first phase of wearing that I went through, so despite the fact that I've been ABDL almost for as long as I've existed, I'm basically new to the practice.

During that last phase, I had to sneak around my room mate, which wasn't very much...fun, for lack of a better word. I don't want to have to sneak around and in all honesty I'm good friends with the guys that I decided to move in with. So, to sum it up this is what my current thought process is:

"Do I tell them so that I can finally wear and hopefully be more open and more myself around some of my best friends? Or do I not tell them in order to avoid having to give a really awkward speech, and to avoid distancing myself from my friends, and to avoid judgement from my friends"

[beallucanb]

I would wait until they find out then explain that it is a fetish of yours that you have had, ever since you can remember.

I always kept my fetishes hidden from the people I knew, it didn't stop me from having my fun with them, even though it was obvious at times, no one ever said a thing.

[Goerge]

You might regret it after the binge cycle has finished and once its out it can't be redone.

[sarah_ab]

NO!

because thats just what a friend wants to hear "i get my jollys off wearing diapers nad i'm telling you so now i can finally wear them around you."

because you want your friend to tell you "I get off with a huge dildo up my ass and now i can FINALLY have it in me whenever i'm around you."

seriously, this is something private. Don't tell them. Wear in private in your bedroom, if you share a room, wear when they are not home, clean up thoroughly after yourself.. or save your money and get a hotel room.. don't wear until you have the privacy to do so.

seriously.. part of growing up... not always getting what you want when you want it, and having consideration for others around you.. its not just if you want to wear and tell them, but do they reallllyyy want to know this about you.. most likely... no.

[timmyc]

listen to Sarah

[WakkoWannaBe]

Yeah, Sara, I know you're right. The thing wearing down my resistance is - I guess - the stress of school (wearing is stress relief for me, not too sexual but it can be). But also that I've been telling myself for the past several years that "it'll just be a little while" until I get that privacy that you're talking about. That and the fact that I know these guys pretty well.

But, despite all my whining, thanks for the feedback. That kind of wording was just what I needed I think.

[drynot]

Its always a crap shoot when deciding weather or not to reveal this kind of information to friends and relatives. You run the risk of alienation from your friends and other consequences that just cannot be forseen. You say these guys are some of your best friends...well that could change in a heart beat if you choose to go down that road.

I've been in your shoes. I've revealed this side of myself to 3 different friends over the years. We aren't friends anymore. Two people I've told were quite cool about it but we stopped speaking not long after. I don't know the exact reason they decided to abandon our friendship but one cannot help but wonder if it has anything to do with wearing diapers. One person recently made contact again but this is after many years of not hearing a peep from them so I don't really know them anymore anyway.

Personally...I'd keep things quiet. Try to wear when you can whenever you get a private moment to yourself. And if you are found out....then I'd lie through my teeth. Sounds shady but I would tell them that you wore out of medical necessity rather than desire. This protects you from unwated bullying somewhat as they'd look like jerks for bugging you about it.

When it comes right down to it...you've got to protect yourself. Opening up in this way to people you THINK you know just runs the risk of hurting you in the long run.

[sarah_ab]

I understand the stress, i've been there, you just gotta find otherways to reduce stress if wearing is not feasable... movies, music, writing stories about what you can't wait to happen when you have privacy, reading some books, painting, arts and crafts, knitting, whatever it is that can also reduce stress.

or find other ways to wear perhaps buying some depends, keeping them in a gym locker or in ur car. and wearing one while in the park reading, alone... not necessarily using, but wearing one where no one is going to know or see.....

Its just wearing and letting your roomates know doesn't seem to have a real purpose. I mean like i said, its not just about what you want, but think about what they want to hear and know about you..... and i'm telling you, even though i wear diapers, i have no desire for any of my friends to come out and tell me they do... its none of my business and then i would always be thinking "dear lord are they wearing it now??!! are they USING IT now??!!" and it would just be always in hte back of my mind.. and it WOULD change things...

Thats all.... just find ways to get your fix without telling them you aren't forever going to be in this sort of roomate situation, and like i said, if you have your own bedroom, than puot a lock on it and you can wear in the privacy of your own room without having to even tell your roomates.

[WakkoWannaBe]

Just curious, what kind of responses did you get, Drynot (and everyone)?

[gah!ghost]

There's this concept of honesty=good and lying=bad that's instilled in a lot of us at a very early age and as an adult it's simply not that… well simple. The good or bad of it is often independent of weather it's a lie or the truth.

I agree with those that say this is something you should keep to yourself. I'm in my early 30s and spent up until the last year or so living with roommates and while it is much better living with the freedom of not needing to hide things, it wasn't all that bad once when I did live with roommates. As Sarah says you just have to compromise and do what you can which isn't always everything you want.

[lil1inlongbeach]

What if you tell your roommates the truth then they want to move out on you? What if they want to kick you of your current place of residency? Can you afford this? I'm with Sarah and the others on this one to keep this part hidden. You might lose your friends and they may not accept it in the way that you hope. Telling them that you like to wear diapers to be able to wear openly around them I think is putting it too much in their face. You can wear covered up when around them or know their schedules so you can wear openly at home when you know they won't be around. Lock the place so you can hear a key going in when someone's home if wearing openly when you're home by yourself. Being an adult like Sarah said is learning to compromise on things and not always having things your way. Good luck!

[Bettypooh]

There's this concept of honesty=good and lying=bad that's instilled in a lot of us at a very early age and as an adult it's simply not that… well simple. The good or bad of it is often independent of weather it's a lie or the truth.

I agree with those that say this is something you should keep to yourself. I'm in my early 30s and spent up until the last year or so living with roommates and while it is much better living with the freedom of not needing to hide things, it wasn't all that bad once when I did live with roommates. As Sarah says you just have to compromise and do what you can which isn't always everything you want.

Greatness in a reply

There is always good in the truth; what varies is what the good is and who it is good for Were I the OP, I'd wear discretely (which still lets you wear); I'd make a good effort at keeping the diaper things hidden, and most of all I'd have some answers planned out Think those answers through for every situation and if you have to you can 'tweak' the truth some For casual acquaintances who might discover me I will say that I wear for need, which is true- but what I am saying isn't going to be what they think I mean, and that's not my problem I do have occasional leakage but my main need is psychological; still that is a true need so I haven't told a lie And you do need to consider consequences- don't initiate any actions you cannot take to a successful conclusion regardless of what course those actions may end up taking. Most of the time having a roomie means that you don't have the funds to live solo. That means getting thrown out puts you on the street and that is a he!! of a hard place to live, even for 'normal' people It doesn't have to be diapers that takes you there but they can be likely to be the cause.

In the past when I had roomies, I always chose them with a critical eye. Of the non-negotiables was a total respect for privacy (including the people they'd have visiting) and the willingness to impose our house rules on their best friends and family too Yep- it matters that much. People who don't have that depth of good character do not belong in your life, especially in your home where you can and should have expectations of security!

Bettypooh

[gah!ghost]

Yes I also have been very picky with roommates in the past. Among the rules being, you don't go into my bedroom unless I'm okay with it. I was more worried about someone breaking something though as I have quite a few fairly delicate toys and statues and things. There have been some people breaking things in the past and that's when I instituted the no one in my room rule. Even still I usually locked my bedroom door when leaving because there where a few instances of people going into my room despite the rule.

[BabyJune]

Telling someone who has never experienced infantilism is not a good idea. The general public doesn't look at it like we do because they don't understand the pleasure aspect of something associated with babies, and they usually jump to the wrong conclusion. The most comfortable solution is to wait until you can get a place of your own, or find an ABDL roommate. It doesn't sound as though either of those scenarios is possible, though. An alternative might be to rent a motel room occasionally so you can enjoy your activities in private. That way, you'd get some comfort without having the awkward task of discussing it with anyone.

[happyindprs]

Don't do it. I did that very same thing with a very good friend of mine. I told him all about my diapers and how long I have been wearing them and the last time I saw him was the day I told him. That was thirty years ago. I killed a great friendship for nothing.

[WakkoWannaBe]

I've gotten control of my desire to wear for the moment. But I'm surprised to hear that some people have lost great friends because they told them.

That - I think - I also needed to hear. These room-mates that we're talking about aren't just room-mates to me, they're long-term friends. They can be douche-y sometimes (or at least one of them =p), but at the end of the day I hope that I'll always keep in touch with these guys (to say the least), and they would say, I feel, the same about me.

[Megalo]

there's always the meetings of C.A.K.E at the sanctuary

[iluvmydiapers]

If you tell your room mates/friends and they decide they no longer want you around than they realy where never your friends in the first place.

I know its hard to lose those who you considder a friend, but a true friend will stick with you even after finding out about your desire to wear diapers.

I know, as I have been there, I came out of the diaper closet when I was 21, I told my friends of my desires to wear diapers, most of them found it to be gross and discusting. The ones who asked more about it and wanted to learn more about why I had the desires to wear diapers are still my friends today, the others so called friends have not spoke to me in years, and I dont miss them.

Saraha

I have to disagree with this,

"because you want your friend to tell you "I get off with a huge dildo up my ass and now i can FINALLY have it in me whenever i'm around you."

Yes I would want my friend to tell me this, as I would have to no longer wonder why he was walking around like he had a dildo shoved up his ass. I would indeed know he did have his dildo up his ass the next time I saw him walking across the room funny.

I am not here to make enemies, but to offer some friendly advice to those seaking it as I have over 40 years of diaper wearing under my belt and there is not much I have not gone through or tried once or twice while in a diaper.