Why?

[turtlepins]

My therapist and I have discussed at length the reasons why I might want people to know I'm wearing diapers (especially women). We have also discussed in depth why I so desire a "mommy." I have been diagnosed with paraphilic infantilism, and over the past six years have learned a great deal about why. Yet I believe that most of those males who are ABDL have the same desires. So I thought I'd ask if anyone has really considered the why? And ladies, feel free to give us insights into the female needs for ABDL. I read the post "something missing" and was fascinated. Even when I am not regressing because of flashbacks or the nightmare I still want to be an infant so deeply it defines me. Please, share your why (if you know) or take a stab at trying to figure it out! And please, for those of you who normally become predatory when people share or try to work out what's really going on inside their heads, just back off for once. I want everybody who shares to feel safe. Can we give each other that much space? I hope so.

[luv2beSpanked]

I've always felt that diapers to me were sexual in nature and a security blanket at the same time. Like right now as I'm wearing my diaper I feel more relaxed and free. I'm not into the AB regression. I have no need for a "mommy" which would involve the AB side. Just into being a DL.

[cheapthrills]

I've always felt that diapers to me were sexual in nature and a security blanket at the same time. Like right now as I'm wearing my diaper I feel more relaxed and free. I'm not into the AB regression. I have no need for a "mommy" which would involve the AB side. Just into being a DL.

-- Same here, identically... One thing I've seen, reading through the forums here, is that there are as many reasons as people, though I guess some do share simular/same reasons, triggers, or mind-set, for our practises...

[BabyJune]

In another post, I wrote that I don't understand why people would want others to know that they are diaper lovers. To me, it seems like a very personal thing. Of course if you find a soulmate that also enjoys participating, then it would be okay. But why would you want to tell someone about it if you knew they would not approve? Is it not fulfilling enough to enjoy it by yourself? What do you hope to accomplish by letting the cat out of the bag? How would you handle a negative response (which is most likely what will happen)?

Feeling that you want a "mommy" could be the result of wanting to feel that everything is okay and that your needs/problems will be taken care of by someone else. It is also a sign that you want to feel secure, and those feelings could possibly be coming from experiences you had as a baby that you don't actually remember. I believe that everyone has those feelings to some point, but in us infantilists, they are more at the forefront and play a bigger part in our daily lives.

Personally, I had a great childhood except for the fact that it ended too soon. I have very fond memories of security with my parents even though I don't have strong recollections of wearing diapers. I do recall fighting being potty trained, though, so those diapers must have felt pretty good.

[turtlepins]

"Personally, I had a great childhood." "I've always felt that diapers were to me sexual in nature."

My childhood was a nightmare, literally. Diapers don't "turn me on" and I don't have sexual releases in them, though the concept and reading the posts many of you write intrigues me. Writing about it is fun too, sort of an internal release. My last surgery (spinal) ended all orgasms, sexual excitement, etc. Yet none of the responses I received actually touched upon what I was asking. Thanks anyways. Maybe others will respond.

[sarah_ab]

why do u like your favorite food? or tv show? or juices? or pair of shoes?

the thing is we can all come up with reasons we enjoy somethig ... we like the taste of it , we like the humor in it .... we like the color ...

what we cant explain is why our brain releases the chemicals that trigger the sensations of enjoyment and happiness when we partake in certain things ... we know certain things trigger these reactions but we dont know why!!

sure some things can be chalked up to classical conditioning .... but really no one can say for sure 'that one event was what triggered it ....' all we have are guesses and as each one of us had drastically different lives .... despite outward similarities they were all drastically different .... there will never be just an easy answer ....

so yeah we can tell ourselves certain experiences made us want to be a baby again .... and in many ways those experiences definitely helped shape who we are today ... that is not why our brain triggers certain chemical reactions

but im confused you asked people to share their own thoughts and feeligs and then say none of the responses are what you are looking for.... was there a particular reason or story you were looking for?

[AbriForm]

Turtlepins, I've been there. It's hard to define boundaries between society and our lifestyle.

What you need to realize, is that your goal is probably to have a lover that fills the mommy role. Declaring that you are an infantilist to the entire world will not help this goal. I would reason that you may think that if all women knew you were an infantilist, that one might approach you, and declare themselves accepting, and interested in partnering with you.

I actually have friends that have done this. They, thus far, have been alone and seriously, clinically depressed.

I believe most normal women are accepting of a partner that they love, who is also an ABDL. But, no women would want a man that trots around in full fetish gear and try to interact with society as some form of deviant.

Women want a normal guy! So give them a normal guy! Once you have a woman that is attracted, in love, and willing to go to the bedroom with you, that is when you sit down, and in a very loving, caring way, explain infantilism to them in a logical manner. Yes, some women may be disgusted. From my experience, most are not. Once a woman loves you, their tolerance for weird things you may do... goes way up.

If you are having sexual disfunction, I would get that treated first and foremost. Honestly, you may be trying to express sexual actions in odd ways because of the disfunction.

[babylin]

Why Turtlepins?

Like some have said on here that being an AB/DL is hardwired into us . I suppose they refer to very early childhood experiences. Yet the GLBT group would claim nature rather than nurture: they are born this way. It's not something that was chosen or that one has any control over. Strangely I agree with this concept but for a reason not openly expressed as no one wants to talk about or holds themselves out as a credible source on the nature of our spiritual beings. We are animals on one level of existence and people like Stephen Hawking teach us that we are intellectual beings on another level. The world of religion fosters the idea of spiritual existence, perhaps just to answer this question of "Why." You live, suffer, and you die. That's existence. You only get one shot at life. There's nothing afterward. There was nothing before.

Like many sophomores in college I started questioning all the assumptions I had been taught "Why" was a big question. Why do we laugh. What is love. Is there life after death. In the wide openness of college intellectual thoughts i wanted to know the things we did NOT know. What can we learn that is not something somebody else is already telling us about. ESP, astral projection, telepathy, telekinesis, laughter, life after death, love, UFOs, paranormal events,and hypnotism were big questions for me.

Answering "What is hypnotism?" led me into the nature of the subconscious. How can we remember things from our third or fourth birthday under hypnosis but not otherwise. And this led me to prenatal hypnotic regression memories. WHAT?? Yes, it seems our subconscious remembers events from before we were born. But that would mean that reincarnation might be real and not fantasy. As a baptist christian, reincarnation was way outside my understanding and against my upbringing. But what is heresy other than thinking about things others do not want you to question?

I believe (and at that it is only a belief) that "Why" for me has some relationship to my past life (lives) and has purpose in my present existence. And, of course, my purpose is likely different than your purpose. We are all individual entities. I am a DL. I'm looking inward for answers, which bring more questions, etc. My "feeling" is that I am on the right track. And I may not find my purpose in this lifetime. Accept oneself and go on. It may all be delusions and illusions. I don't know. And maybe that is "Why" nobody speaks of it or in fact, knows WHY.

btw: I really enjoy your stories. You have a keen mind.

Happiness Is Wearing Cotton Diapers

[curiositykilledthecat]

I can answer where my ab desires come from as I obtained those later in life and can figure out where some of the desires come from, however, the one question I cannot answer is why I like diapers? I was a dl long before an AB, as of age seven I knew I like diapers. As far as I know I was never sexually abused so that is out of the question. i was physically and emotionally abused however that would contribute more to the little side of things, plus the whole desire to wear was before and during the abuse. It is foolish to spend our entire life asking why to every single thing we do, rather the question we should be asking is "Does this impact me negatively?" and if the answer is yes, the next question is "How shall I fix this?" If something is not having a negative impact on your natural or spiritual walk then top worrying about why and just go with it.

[diaperboyMKE]

arrg. Over the past couple years I've been hearing more and more about the mental health community taking notice of us and I'm seeing this label "Paraphilic Infantilism tossed around more and more. Part of me is happy that something is being studied, but at the same time is scares the shit out of me because there are a TON of us who don't need any kind of "diagnosis" as that would indicate that we're not well. More fucus should be put on embracing how we are, and ensuring that we live our lives happy. Enjoying diapers is not a disease therefore there is no "cure" besides to try to take away something we love. This is me digging my heals in

-- perfectly healthy, happy, man who's private life doesn't hurt anyone.

[diaperboyMKE]

I can answer where my ab desires come from as I obtained those later in life and can figure out where some of the desires come from, however, the one question I cannot answer is why I like diapers? I was a dl long before an AB, as of age seven I knew I like diapers. As far as I know I was never sexually abused so that is out of the question. i was physically and emotionally abused however that would contribute more to the little side of things, plus the whole desire to wear was before and during the abuse. It is foolish to spend our entire life asking why to every single thing we do, rather the question we should be asking is "Does this impact me negatively?" and if the answer is yes, the next question is "How shall I fix this?" If something is not having a negative impact on your natural or spiritual walk then top worrying about why and just go with it.

Break it down to is most basic components... most people can relate their love for diapers to the fact that a diaper is the ultimate symbol of babyness (word?) it's a visual symbol, as well as symbolic of relinquishing the most basic control (holding bladder). It could be relating to the most early form of conformism (potty training).

It's the most ultimate symbol if you think about it, visually, it's hard to hide a diaper.

Auditory, you hear all the sounds relating to diapers.

Smell, one of the strongest senses we have is our olfactory, which is why LUVS is brilliant in their push to fight against the "scent free" movement (ultimate cradle to grave strategy because I'll never forget that wonderful smell)

Touch, diapers are soft, crinkly, smooth, squishy, along with a ton of others..

Crotch caressing, It doesn't hurt that they reside against one of the most "emotion provoking" areas of our body since birth (our genitals) in the most comforting, gental, memorable way's possible. If someone stood by me since birth and gently rubbed by penis and crotch 24 hours a day, non stop, and never for selfish reasons (just for me), and never for their own sexual gratification.. albiet creepy, they'd be my best friend for life.

Diapers are one thing that almost ALL human beings alive today have experienced. Plus we experience them during the most critical times. They're always there for us, even when we're scared, or lonely.

It's a pretty basic theory actually, one that I think we all WANT to believe, yet we still feel like we need some big "answer" as to why we like them.

I think the question shouldn't be "why do we like diapers"... it should be "why DOESN'T everyone else like them?"

We aren't broken, they're just stupid.

[wetatnight]

I can't speak for others, but my love of diapers I believe is because I was forced into potty training before I was ready to be potty trained.

I also wet the bed from age 6 to 9 but my parents wouldn't have me wear diapers to manage the problem.

they were of the old fashioned belief that it was wrong to put a potty trained child back into diapers even if it was just at night.

fricken Dr. Spock

[rosalie.bent]

This is a fascinating question turtlepins. You are NOT alone in the desire to tell people about your babyness. The survey we are running at the moment actually asks this question and the responses has been that a significant number (a majority) are like you and want to tell people about your ABLD nature. This is not rare but in fact seems to be a typical behaviour of regressive ABs such as you. perhpas it is because the single most powerful need of a regressive AB is for people to identify you as a BABY - not simply and adult. And to be identified as a baby means letting people know. it might seem an immature and faulty method of obtaining approval or acjnowlegment of your need but that is who you are: and immature (in part) baby working your issues through your adult personality,

My own baby says he still feels this same desire at times to tell people that he is a baby despite being in a parent/child relationship. IN fact, this last week he had a mini-tantrum about not being able to openly wear his baby clothes around others. The need to be accepted as who you really are - a baby - can be very strong. so do not despair, you are not only not alone but you are actually on the side of the majority of regressive ABs.

Email me personally if you want to discuss this as it is a topic we want to address in our upcoming book.

[rosalie.bent]

arrg. Over the past couple years I've been hearing more and more about the mental health community taking notice of us and I'm seeing this label "Paraphilic Infantilism tossed around more and more. Part of me is happy that something is being studied, but at the same time is scares the shit out of me because there are a TON of us who don't need any kind of "diagnosis" as that would indicate that we're not well. More fucus should be put on embracing how we are, and ensuring that we live our lives happy. Enjoying diapers is not a disease therefore there is no "cure" besides to try to take away something we love. This is me digging my heals in

-- perfectly healthy, happy, man who's private life doesn't hurt anyone.

APPLAUDS!!! EXACTLY!!!!

To be fair their is a slowly dawning reality for therapists that fetishes and other so-called abnormal behaviours are not actually detreimental to people and may in fact be positive life-enriching experiences. The trouble is that therapists tend to meet those for whom that is not true; thsoe for whom the fetish or regressive needs i starting to overwhelm and take over. Therefore their take on infantilism is fundamentally flawed because they only see the troubled ones while the majority does quite well on their own.

Our new book is actually both a theoretical excursion into the structure and inter-relationships of the diaper world as well as a book on how to keep it all in perspective. It starts with the fundamental statement that 'diaper attraction' is not a disease nor is it intrinscally dysfunctional or bad for you. But we do need to learn sometimes about balance and boundaries and how to avoid compulsive over-taking behaviour. Hand-washing is not a bad thing to do but compulsive hadwashing 20 times a day is. it is all about perspective.

Im not a great fan of therapists regarding diaper behaviour. They seem remarkably uninformed about it and even if they are informed, they seem to want to cure it like a disease - which it is not.

[babyleanna75]

My love for diaper came from being diapered tell i was seven. But I think my ab side comes from a lot of abuse physical and sexual. I think my obsession for love comes from how a mother loves her baby and I desparetly want to be loved that way. Also maby the love can help me block the bad things that wete done to me. Or the fact of maby trying to make a new life were I was loved and cared for.

[TBlazer]

Simply put, birds of a feather flock together. We have much to learn from geese.

[turtlepins]

I've done a lot of reading and your posts are fascinating. Thanks. I'm married, 38 years now, and my wife is also my "mommy" when I need a "mommy." I have grandkids. Two of them are almost two, and over the past months I have watched how my wife, their mother, and aunt look at them during a diaper change. I think I've discovered why I want people to know I wear diapers. There is something so primal in that look, so full of love and acceptance, that I want it for me. Most women, around babies, act very differently than they do around others.

I realize though that for me that "look" would not be present. So I don't give in to my urges. Instead I fantasize, write stories about it, and try very hard to put myself inside my grandkid's heads. I'm also pretty sure that the "look" is a very strong reason I am AB/DL. In my memories I never got those looks. Not even my adopted mother would look at me that way. So the desire for something primal and missing is stronger than ever.

I'm going to go to bed now and suckle at mommy's breasts. The way she touches me when I do that fills part of that need more than I can describe. I hope many more respond to this question, and share. Again, thanks.

[pipes]

To me, using diapers makes me think of times past, of the innocence of childhood! I was raised an only child by loving parents, and wearing makes me think of those good day! I was dependent on my mom and dad, and they made decisions for me, however, as an adult we have to make our own decisions, wheather good or bad!

I wear because of the rememberence of the security, the love and protection afforeded by my parents! Yes I love diapers, and the idea that diapers are not for adults is wrong! Remember, as kids we wore them and as we get older, we start to regress and if alive long enough, wear them again as seniors! Many adults refuse to think that this regression will face them! I have worn for medical reasons and as well as fun reasons! People who like to wear and want the world to know about it are really preparing for the future!

[diaperboyMKE]

APPLAUDS!!! EXACTLY!!!!

To be fair their is a slowly dawning reality for therapists that fetishes and other so-called abnormal behaviours are not actually detreimental to people and may in fact be positive life-enriching experiences. The trouble is that therapists tend to meet those for whom that is not true; thsoe for whom the fetish or regressive needs i starting to overwhelm and take over. Therefore their take on infantilism is fundamentally flawed because they only see the troubled ones while the majority does quite well on their own.

Our new book is actually both a theoretical excursion into the structure and inter-relationships of the diaper world as well as a book on how to keep it all in perspective. It starts with the fundamental statement that 'diaper attraction' is not a disease nor is it intrinscally dysfunctional or bad for you. But we do need to learn sometimes about balance and boundaries and how to avoid compulsive over-taking behaviour. Hand-washing is not a bad thing to do but compulsive hadwashing 20 times a day is. it is all about perspective.

Im not a great fan of therapists regarding diaper behaviour. They seem remarkably uninformed about it and even if they are informed, they seem to want to cure it like a disease - which it is not.

I was in therepy for a long time when I was younger, and there was a point when I could TELL that my therapist got confident and thought he had me "all figured out". So I threw him through a loop, I took some ecstasy before a session once. About midway through, I started explaining shit to him. The beginning of the next session he just had this look on his face like, "I'm not sure what to think/do/ or say".. my response was, "the human mind is a pretty complex thing huh? Shame on you for thinking you can conquer it by going to college"

From that point on, he told me that he was going to change his approach, and he was only going to listen to what I had to say, and offer a third party view for me to consider. Every time therein, we'd start the session with me asking him, "is there anything YOU'D like to talk about today?"

It really made him eat a plate of humble pie because shortly after he told my mom that he had to discontinue our sessions.

Try and "cure" me, bitch!

Therapist=pwn3d?

[chris576]

For me its the stigma attached my desires and a want to be accepted as anything but a "weirdo". I usually feel self-conscious about the fact that 99.9% of people won't accept my fetish. Whatever everyones reason on why they want or need to wear diapers or act as an ABDL will not be accepted by most, and we won't be able to change their minds makes me feel bad sometimes. I think for me I want people to know what I like, and why, and have them not judge me about it. Sometimes its a lonely way of life and I just want to be accepted.

[Mrcalvin06]

being a dl for me has always been sexual. I hadnt worn a diaper since my early teens until yesturday, about 20 years. I have always had desires and fantasys about wearing diapers, I just hadnt had any real oppurtunities to explore these desires. Yesturday, I finally got the chance to wear a diaper again. I put one on and the excitement was so overwelming, my sexual desires kicked in and I had to masturbate, I had one the most intense orgasms I have ever had. I then wore my diaper to bed, and was so excited about my diaper experience I continued wearing my diaper out in public under my cloths for a couple hours. After work this evening, I had wear one again, so far, being a dl has become a dream come true. I wish I had a girl dl to fully fulfill my dl fantasy sexually.

[Mrcalvin06]

The day before Yesturday was my first time wearing a real diaper since I was 3. When I was a young teen I put together a make shift diaper a couple times, but havent atempted any diapers for 20 years. I had no idea what I was missing out on. I have always had desires and fantasies about being a dl, mostly sexual. I wore my diaper last night and loved it so much, I went to bed wearing my diaper and out in public the next day. The experience was so intense, my sexual desires took over and I had to please myself. I am now wearing a diaper for my second time, just wear a diaper is one of the most ezciting experiences for, I just wish I had girl dl to help me fulfill the rest of my dl fantasys sexually.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I have inclination to tell others about this...well anyone outside the community.