Acceptance From Others

[greg55]

This website has helped me so much in accepting myself as a DL. Before I always wondered why I liked diapers and I wondered if it was right and if I was alone. I haven't been on here for quite a while because I have found myself on here, I am finally comfortable with the DL part of me. So before I get to what I wanna say, I just want to say thanks to the administrators of this website.

Now I know there are a couple stories like the one I am about to share already on here, but I thought I would share it with you guys anyway. I have been dating this girl Paige for a while now, and we have been friends for even longer. Last week I decided I would share this part of my life with her. She has been amazing about it. I think we all share the fear that society doesn't understand us, that they will see us as pedophiles. Or that they will shun us out, thinking that we are "sick". Paige has been the complete opposite. She does not want to participate, which is more than ok with me. (For me my diaper time is personal, about security) But ever since I told her, she hasn't distanced herself from me at all. In fact just last night we were at Walmart (I live about an hour from the closest Walmart so its a big deal when we go) and we were in the pharmacy. We passed by the adult diapers, and I didn't notice it, but she said, "Hey we are in your section!" It makes me so happy that she is comfortable enough with it to joke about it.

So for you guys and girls out there thinking about telling that someone special, know that it can happen with positive effects. And good luck

[Forced2wet]

I shared my 'thing' with the love of my life shortly after we got together.

She's okay with my wearing and although the lack of 'surprise' (due to only being able to wear when the kids are nt about) has lessend the excitement a bit, I still believe that sharing my desires with my soul mate was one of the best decisions I ever made, her acceptance only makes me love her more!

[drynot]

I think anyone who is in a commited relationship and who is also a Ab/Dl has to go through this 'trial by fire'. Sometimes it turns out well....sometimes not. However you will never know unless you put yourself out there and reveal this little tidbit to your SO. I was fortunate to find a woman who not only accepts this part of me but actively participates from time to time. Short of having a partner who is into the whole lifestyle I think I'm doing ok.

[Diapered Android]

My SO does not participate, but allows me relative freedom with my diapers...

Now I am mostly wearing out of choice and comfort anyways... Not much to 'participate' in, lol.

[Fakename4me]

Good for you! remember to take good care of her...

[2sail2]

Before I got married, I lied and said I have to wear at night because I wet the bed some (but I think I've only done it twice). I manage to wake up though. I also said it makes me feel better because my member is smallish and adds extra padding to make it look bigger under my pants. I also like the look of the thong (undergarment). I dance some and get money in my wasteband! I had a question a while ago why I wear during the day. I never fully answered it. But she knows that I have to get the bathroom frequently (every 2 hours and frequently after dinners--especially if spicey), so I think preventing wet pants comes into the picture with answering why I wear during the day. At least she supports me to a certain extent by buying as needed. I also get good foreplay rubbing sometimes.

[BabyJune]

Can anyone explain to me why they feel it is so important to share the DL lifestyle with others in their lives? I'm not asking this in a threatening way, I guess I have a hard time understanding why such a private form of enjoyment needs to be brought out into the open. It seems to me that these are some very personal and innermost feelings. I can see sharing the feelings and experiences with like-minded people, but most people who don't enjoy wearing diapers or dressing like a baby would not understand why we get pleasure from it. I'd be scared to death to share my "hobby" with anyone outside this forum--especially my closest friends and family. (The first thing they'd probably do is force me to stop working with children because they don't understand infantilism or AB/DL).

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well your kink should be shared with your S.O. as you are comitted together. As for other relatives, no clue why people feel the need to share.

[oliver d]

I shared it with my wife after a truamatic period in our relationship,and my wife had changed as a person to be more open to this.Since then things have changed a lot from simply buying when i ran out to her wanting me diapered 24/7 for 2weeks a month ago.I was one of the most importend descions I made,as it took a loud of my shoulders not having to sneak around when I wanted to wear.

[greg55]

Good for you! remember to take good care of her...

Thanks Fakename4me, I will take good care of her...

[Forced2wet]

Can anyone explain to me why they feel it is so important to share the DL lifestyle with others in their lives? I'm not asking this in a threatening way, I guess I have a hard time understanding why such a private form of enjoyment needs to be brought out into the open. It seems to me that these are some very personal and innermost feelings. I can see sharing the feelings and experiences with like-minded people, but most people who don't enjoy wearing diapers or dressing like a baby would not understand why we get pleasure from it. I'd be scared to death to share my "hobby" with anyone outside this forum--especially my closest friends and family. (The first thing they'd probably do is force me to stop working with children because they don't understand infantilism or AB/DL).

BJune,

Whilst I don't know why anyone would wish to tell their family and friends, I assume most people tell their partners so they don't have to sneak around behind their backs to do things they enjoy.

In my experience, sharing my 'thing' with the most important person in my life has made our relationship even stronger

[diaperlover187948]

Can anyone explain to me why they feel it is so important to share the DL lifestyle with others in their lives? I'm not asking this in a threatening way, I guess I have a hard time understanding why such a private form of enjoyment needs to be brought out into the open. It seems to me that these are some very personal and innermost feelings. I can see sharing the feelings and experiences with like-minded people, but most people who don't enjoy wearing diapers or dressing like a baby would not understand why we get pleasure from it. I'd be scared to death to share my "hobby" with anyone outside this forum--especially my closest friends and family. (The first thing they'd probably do is force me to stop working with children because they don't understand infantilism or AB/DL).

[diaperlover187948]

i know your scared but if they love you i thank they would understand if you explained it to them

[Mrcalvin06]

For me, its all about me time, and its private to only me. This is my escape from reality, why would I want to bring reality into my retreat. This my personal and very much private vacation, even if its only for a couple hours. I enjoy telling all of you about my love for diapers, but to me thats the same as meeting someone while on vacation, I dont have to ever see or here from or of you ever again. Not that I am going to leave you all anytime soon, im just saying.

[Bettypooh]

Can anyone explain to me why they feel it is so important to share the DL lifestyle with others in their lives? ...

It's kind of hard to explain- and let me make it clear that I don't share this but I did come out as TG. In that I think these feelings would be close to the same. Hiding what you feel is an important part of who you are makes you feel miserable and worthless Everyone wants acceptance- even of their oddities. Yet we all know that such acceptance is not guaranteed and in 'coming out' there are risks you will be taking even when acceptance is found. For myself, I have a deep need for honesty, so to hide something from the people I care about becomes really tough. I also like freedom to express myself without constant fear. In coming out voluntarily, several things happen in your favor First is that you choose who and how and when and what to tell, plus you are prepared for it instead of being blindsided with it unexpectedly. Second is that you now have some control over what is said, and that beats having it blown out of proportion in the gossip mills. Also there is a trust developed between you and who you tell, they will see that you believe in them and value them- if you didn't then you wouldn't be bringing this to them at all. But what it does most of all is that it frees you to be yourself, and only when you can do that can you grow into a better person with possibly a better life ahead I was never happier or more at peace than when I could stop having to worry about who might see a clue and figure things out. Having to hide induces paranoia and that can destroy happiness faster than anything I know of

Still, the wisest decision in regards to things about you that do not obviously show is to restrict the knowledge to only those who really need to know that can be trusted to hold the confidence of the knowledge. Even then you can never really be sure that they will not speak of it to someone else And in every situation you need to be ready with answers because you're always going to run into someone that either needs to know whom you haven't told yet, or someone who discovers your 'secret'. You don't always know what others see or think, and almost never is there someone who is totally undiscovered; it's just that we don't know this because we don't know who they are and they have said nothing that lets you know this- yet. Because they can and you can't stop it, you need to be ready in case that happens. The only way to prevent it is to expose the secret yourself first

When I came out as TG I had a several friends comment that they had noticed that I was looking younger and happier for some time already, but didn't see any reason to say anything about that. One noticed that I no longer had hair on my arms, but didn't connect why to my situation- they said it wasn't their business anyway One had noticed several things about me being more feminine but wasn't smart enough to add them all up at once and see what was going on with me. Nobody really knew till I told them, and many were the questions which would have went to the wrong conclusion had the gossip mills answered those questions instead of me That part of me had become very visible, but my wearing diapers isn't so I feel no great need to tell anyone at this point. If someone comes into my life that should know, then they will know and it will come from me. The few who have discovered me so far have said nothing or have kept it quiet and they matter little to me anyway. I do not fear discovery nor even what the rumor mills say about me. Nothing anyone can do will destroy the good in me and that is a far bigger thing than my just wearing diapers.

Bettypooh

[JDL23]

My fetish is a private pleasure and no one else's business. Even so, I only really came to terms with it when I told my aunt about it a few years back. She's someone I absolutely trust and who can be counted on to keep a secret. When I told her and found acceptance, it helped me appreciate that my fetish was just a surprising but natural side of my personality. After that, we never really talked about it again and I was able to find more comfort in wearing diapers and talking to people here on DD and on other sites like Fetlife.

[Guest vaarjas]

Telling your partner (and it being accepted, obviously) helps a lot on both a mental level and a practical level. Since this is quite a physical kink, not having to 100% hide your diapers and stuff is much easier practically, and you don't have the "shame" that comes from hiding stuff either. And if they accept it they might also want to join in, assuming you want them to.

Telling anyone else, I don't know why you'd need to. I suppose if AB or DL were really important to your identity (going 24/7 or whatever) you might feel like you need to but I think those people are very much in the minority.

[Nat]

I am lucky my husband is also a DL so I didn't have to hide it from him nor have to force myself to tell him about it. Plus he lets me wear still despite having a child.

[Billiardnut]

Either I have had desires to or have been wearing diapers for as long as I can remember. I may not have always had them handy to wear, but I have always had the desire to wear them. I have been wearing diapers 24/7 off and on for the last 4 years and have completely worn 24/7 for about a year. I cant say enough good things about it, if they were cheaper I guess that would be better but I figure if I am going to wear them I might as well wear some that are actually going to be effective - dry 24/7 is my choice.

With all that said, I have finally decided to tell two of my women friends (one is ex-girlfriend, other I have known 20+ years) that I wear diapers 24/7. Both were understanding and seemed to be open to the idea. Both said they like/loved me for who I am, not what I wear. I think if the person is a true friend or truly likes / loves you for being who you are - they wont care about the diapers. I am not suggesting to throw one their way and ask them to change you but, of course I think in time that could actually happen - if that is what you want.

One friend was very inquisitive about them, the other wasnt. I didnt force any information on them I just let them process it and ask questions. Second very important part after you tell somebody you wear diapers is being truthful about answering their questions; some questions were more embarrassing but I felt I owed it to them since I just told them I wear diapers all the time and I might as well answer - how much worse could it get.

For those keeping it to yourself - I have kept my secret to myself for as long as I can remember. Before diapers, I liked cross dressing but I truly think I was wanting to wear diapers however the women's clothes was more accessible. I have learned from experience and counselling that keeping everything "bottled in" is not healthy. Forums like this have helped me talk about everything - I think everybody needs to talk about their "thing" (whatever that may be) Taking it a step further and telling a select few of friends or your spouse / loved one is healthy for you and your relationship. You hide diapers from your spouse and they find them - trust goes downhill. Simply cause, if you hide that stuff, what else are you hiding? If you hide your stash, spouse finds them and approaches you about it .... chances are that you are going to lie about them, simply because you are not prepared to talk about it. Lies equal losing trust and resentment.

I say to those holding it all in ... formulate a plan and tell your loved one or selected friend(s) about your diapers, cross dressing, or love of spaghetti sauce poured over your head ... whatever the heck it is, tell them and just as important allow them to ask questions and be truthful.

I will get off my soapbox now - hope I have helped some. Feel free to PM me, I have been through what I am talking about and I am speaking from my own life lessons.

[Nat]

Did you get your incontinence from wearing diapers billiardnut?

[blu4]

I told my husband twelve months ago and he was fine with it, hence the fact that I wear 24/7 with his blessing. I have to be honest though and admit that I don't always use them but he is happy to change my nappy and actually insists that I wear them all the time so unless I have permission not to that's what I do Happy with that anyway

[BabyJune]

i know your scared but if they love you i thank they would understand if you explained it to them

I guess my biggest fear is that if anyone found out, they'd insist that I stop working with children because they'd think I would harm them. I've been working with kids most of my life. Infantilism and role-playing in no way includes or has anything to do with real children, but you know how people jump to conclusions. Besides, people would wonder why I do it. How do you explain the pleasure aspect of dressing like a little girl and wetting your pants? It just wouln't go over with someone who doesn't appreciate the feeling for themselves.

[spark]

I guess my biggest fear is that if anyone found out, they'd insist that I stop working with children because they'd think I would harm them. I've been working with kids most of my life. Infantilism and role-playing in no way includes or has anything to do with real children, but you know how people jump to conclusions. Besides, people would wonder why I do it. How do you explain the pleasure aspect of dressing like a little girl and wetting your pants? It just wouln't go over with someone who doesn't appreciate the feeling for themselves.

I completely hear on this one, because I work with high school kids. My feelings about diapers and wetting have almost nothing to do with my profession. I have zero desire to work with younger children, for reasons completely independent of this, and the very idea of hurting one of my students is abhorrent to me. But, I don't know how people would react if they realize I like wear a diaper at night, and wear adult diapers because I like the idea.