Executive Who Wear Diapers

[ThomasInWVa]

Recently, I was recruited by a large company to take over the local market. It is a significant promotion. I am completely responsible for 54 employees in my market and must generate about 1.2 million per month.

I’m the new guy on the senior management team. Most of the other market directors and all the VPs have been with the company from the start and through the recent merger. Not all of us see eye to eye but that is expected at our level. I’m completely able to handle the job and make my numbers.

Next month all senior management is going to spend 3 days in a private resort cabin to go over our budgets and some sort of team building exercises. Chances are that I’ll have to share a room with at least one other person, possibly more. (The senior management is all men.)

And I have to wear diapers all the time.

No one at the new company know that I’m urinary incontinent and must wear diapers.

I

can handle flying with diapers and hotel rooms. But a private cabin where I won’t have much privacy? This is going to be challenge and until I get there and see the actual arrangements, I’m not sure how it will all go.

I do not want it public knowledge. Wrongly or not, I’m sure it will affect my standing and how I’m look at within the company. Which means it will impact my career and my wallet.

I doubt there are others with this sort of problem so I’m really just venting.

I don’t think there is an “executives who wear diapers” support group out there.

[BoTox]

I'm pretty sure you should be able to impose HIPAA and/or ADA regulations not to mention common human decency to either get a private cabin or have other arrangements made. HR would certainly be the people to speak with. Since you are new, this would be a good time to introduce yourself to HR and express your concerns about privacy.

If all else fails, spring for your own private cabin. Is this an annual event? Ask someone that has gone before how it worked out.

Whenever I've traveled on company business, I've always had a private room but that's not a retreat where it may be more camp/dorm style.

Good luck

[warpiper]

Why don't you try a leg bag and condom cath for the weekend. It's not a long term thing and it's much less babyish than a diaper. You can discretely drain it in the toilet at intervals at which you would be going to the bathroom anyway.

[Bettypooh]

At the executive level I would be expecting something more than a 'camp dorm' arrangement suitable for cowboys, laborers, migrant farm workers and (gasp) the general lock-up section of the local jailhouse And I'd be voicing my opinion in just that manner.The idea that such a setting produces bonding and creates a better working environment is asinine. What you end up with is Bill couldn't sleep because Joe snores all night, Jack stayed up trying to listen to what Jerry was muttering about in his sleep, Alf gets up in the middle of the night three or four times to research and think his best ideas through and write them down, Clyde had to have his CPAP machine humming all night, and everyone got to 'enjoy' Sam's nightly flatulence Hardly conducive to bringing out the best in people I should think

If an alternative like Warpiper suggests isn't something you can do, then you might just call in sick with something contagious at the last minute. I'm pretty certain that sharing at that personal of a level wouldn't be a desirable thing among the team It's one thing to have an open conference with teammates, but it's totally absurd to ask or expect someone who does not want to do this to be forced to go along with such childish summer-camp silliness. One does not have to live with a team to be a great part of it

Me? Call me an a$$hole but I'd go to the top and have me a private meting with the idiot who thinks that forcing people to share their personal life openly with their co-workers can do anything good, where I would hand him the relevant sections of ADA and explain to him that it is obvious that my performance record merits my having this position and while I may have a personal and private health issue, it has obviously not inhibited my ability to perform my work or I would not be standing here right now. I would also preempt any offer of private accommodation as counter-productive unless everyone gets that, since me alone having that would make the rest of the team wonder why I got special treatment when they didn't- again something not conducive to a good team environment. I would not reveal my incontinence without their insistence, and if forced to do so I would make it clear that up to this point that information has never been known, and that should it ever be heard anywhere anytime from here on in, it will be obvious where it came from- and in that case I am prepared to, and I will, own him Don't ask me for things when you can't handle the true answers, I'm just the one to give them to you with a smile on my face If that isn't taking the lead and showing an unusual and valuable strength I don't know what is And that will place the burden where it belongs: on the shallow-thinker who believes that unnecessarily sharing one's private life among people who do not need to know those things is something that can do some good

It's feely-good stupidity like this and the lack of depth in those in positions of power which has brought us to where the US is now, in an economic decline where the correct questions and answers are being traded off for desperate attempts to solve our problems through forcing compliance instead of allowing for the uninhibited growth of genius and greatness. Genius is essentially a non-conformance to current lines of thought, and greatness only occurs when it follows it's own path. Asking either to conform to a set path of lower standards just because it makes average people more comfortable destroys them both Maybe I am neither genius or great but I will not conform to concepts where I don't fit and prevent any chance I have of ever achieving that

Bettypooh

[oznl]

Ah, the old shared-room trick that halves their accommodation costs and excuses the insult as ‘team building’.

If it’s a large company, there will be a formal HR team and a quiet word to them that you have a medical condition that would make it preferable for you NOT to share a cabin should prove swiftly effective. You don’t need to tell them WHAT medical condition and I doubt they’d ask. HR loves that sort of stuff as it validates their existence and I think the worst you could expect is ribbing from unknowing peers about how it was that YOU got to have a cabin to yourself.

If you’ve just joined, you’re going to know somebody from HR anyway.

One of my reports even manages an exemption to this policy on religious grounds and it’s not like HR give me any details or options about it.

[Dale Ridge]

Wow, I am a relatively low level Regional Sales Manager, responsible for about 8 manufacturers reps in a 6 state area, and I haven't had to share a room for at least the last 15 years, and then only because we were staying at a private golf condo with four master bedrooms with two queen beds each. I would go with the suggestion of OXNL above and have a quiet word with someone from HR, and use his words exactly..... "you have a medical condition that would make it preferable for you NOT to share a cabin".

Dale

[rusty pins]

Well, I see that you are in a situation! I also would not want it out that I'm incontinent and must wear diapers (If I was incontinent myself), especially around all the new higher ups. True, there are laws that prevent harrasment and such for medical reasons, but that's not the point! You just don't want everyone to know, period! Problem is, you are the new guy! You can't rock the boat as some people have suggested or you will not be seen as a team player or someone who is willing to try new things. You will be viewed more as someone who isn't cooperative with the company's agenda! Likewise, faking an illness at the last minute isn't a solution. It may be a quick fix, but how many times can you get away with that excuse? What are you going to do next time a similar situation comes up?

Personally, what I think might be the safest situation is to go to the person in charge of making the arrangments and simply state that you have an issue that would bother not only you but any roomates due to a sleeping condition. You don't have to say it's incontinence, but you could say sleep apnea and you use a very loud breathing machine. Many people are aware of breathing machines and sleep apnea. It would be against laws to inquire about specifics, so that may be an option. Explain that you will gladly pay any extra costs for a private room. If that dosn't work, I'm not sure what you can do. I'm also a little concerned about how you will change when needed, especially if there are after hours events schedualed, such as trips to a club, show, etc. You probably already have experience on discreatly changing when needed and how to carry extra diapers discreatly. I just don't know what you can do or say in a shared overnight room situation to keep this from getting out. Good luck to you!

[dlsmd]

Well, I see that you are in a situation! I also would not want it out that I'm incontinent and must wear diapers (If I was incontinent myself), especially around all the new higher ups. True, there are laws that prevent harrasment and such for medical reasons, but that's not the point! You just don't want everyone to know, period! Problem is, you are the new guy! You can't rock the boat as some people have suggested or you will not be seen as a team player or someone who is willing to try new things. You will be viewed more as someone who isn't cooperative with the company's agenda! Likewise, faking an illness at the last minute isn't a solution. It may be a quick fix, but how many times can you get away with that excuse? What are you going to do next time a similar situation comes up?

Personally, what I think might be the safest situation is to go to the person in charge of making the arrangments and simply state that you have an issue that would bother not only you but any roomates due to a sleeping condition. You don't have to say it's incontinence, but you could say sleep apnea and you use a very loud breathing machine. Many people are aware of breathing machines and sleep apnea. It would be against laws to inquire about specifics, so that may be an option. Explain that you will gladly pay any extra costs for a private room. If that dosn't work, I'm not sure what you can do. I'm also a little concerned about how you will change when needed, especially if there are after hours events schedualed, such as trips to a club, show, etc. You probably already have experience on discreatly changing when needed and how to carry extra diapers discreatly. I just don't know what you can do or say in a shared overnight room situation to keep this from getting out. Good luck to you!

this has my vote

and if the point is that you will learn thing about others when in the same room at night and be able to work together better:

then im not sure

but it could also be that thay know already

but you could also have a little conference(solo ofcorse) with the big boss and talk to him/her about it

trust me i know its not something you want to talk about(i know because im incon as well) but you do need to let someone know because it will be worse if thay just find out(its happened to me and it sucked)

also if thay do know it could be a way(this get together) for your pears to talk to you away from work in a more open environment to help eliminate as much of the embarrassment as possible

one thing i would do is at lest let the one that hired you know what you issue is because if thay find out another way it could cause problems

i do have a question

did thay send you to get a physical when you got hired?

if so what did you do during it to hide it? if nothing then thay know

so as i see it you have a few options

1.lie(Bad)

2.tell HR(not good mainly because you really dont want them to know)

3.tell your boss(same as above)

4.have a chat with the group that your going with(same as above)

5.dont say anything(varry bad because thay will find out in a bad way)

6.dont go(varry bad because it could be your job on the line if you dont)

[DavidMW]

Personally, what I think might be the safest situation is to go to the person in charge of making the arrangments and simply state that you have an issue that would bother not only you but any roomates due to a sleeping condition. You don't have to say it's incontinence, but you could say sleep apnea and you use a very loud breathing machine. Many people are aware of breathing machines and sleep apnea.

Don't lie about a medical condition to your employer. The law provides a lot of protections now when it comes to medical conditions, but not for lying about them. (I'm actually rather skeptical that it would even require that you have a private room for a lot of medical situations.)

Consider talking to the hiring HR rep about how to approach it. They're certainly not supposed to gossip about such things, they could have good advice, and it does establish your medical situation with them early on in case an inappropriate situation comes up later (e.g. someone making inappropriate diaper jokes at your expense).

If you do find yourself having to share a room, I'd suggest being quite matter of fact about it - do what you normally do, and if roomie asks, a straightforward "it's for a medical condition" response keeps it simple. If you don't act like it's a big deal, roomie should take the hint. (Besides, a lot more of us have things going on in our lives that we'd just as soon not publicize than most people realize.)

[ThomasInWVa]

Thanks for the comments. I don’t think I communicated the situation properly. My concern wasn’t for legal protection or how the company would handle it. I was thinking about the other Directors, VPs, the CEO and how they would handle it. I’m one of the older guys - everyone senior to me is much younger by at least a decade. At the very least, it is one of those things that sets one apart from their peers which is not what was I interested in.

We had the meeting last week. The CEO and I arrived on the same non-stop 4+ hour flight. I arrived at the airport long before him and was able to change to my flying disposable before he arrived. I was off the flight before him and was able to speed change before he was off the aircraft. That was early afternoon, I had no idea how long until I could change again

Two hours latter we arrived at the office for about an hour before heading into the mountains. That trip took just over 2 hours. Fortunately, the 3 of us in our car arrived earlier than the others and we were able to scout out rooms. I was to be in a room shared by 3 others and not with an adjoining bathroom! But I was able to speed change again while everyone was arriving.

I had packed a number of large heavy-duty zip-lock bags that can hold a wet disposable as well as small white trash bags to conceal the bundle. This made hiding the diapers easy. I make sure to pack a mostly empty suitcase to stash the diapers as needed.

It turned out not to be a problem hiding my diaper use from the team. I woke earlier to shower and change. And my night routine was easy to hide the fact I was carrying a diaper to and from the bathroom. I was able to change in the afternoon very easily as well. Sometimes at the cabin or out when on an errand or to Starbucks.

Sleeping wasn’t a problem. I turned in earlier than the others and there was so much noise no one heard my diaper under my flannel pants and bloomer style plastic pants. (Just in case the diapers leaked at night but they were fine.)

I can’t say for sure that no one realized I was wearing diapers but I don’t think any could have known and I didn’t get the idea that anyone knew.

It was stressful and nerve-wracking but it turned out ok.

Oh, and yes, I was able to dispose of all the diapers before my flight back. Usually flying wearing a diaper is stressful but that red-eye was nothing to the previous 4 days. I didn’t sleep but I wasn’t worried about my diaper at all.

BTW, I use Wellness Briefs. They are a great disposable. Worn properly and they are the only disposable I trust to sleep in at night. When at home I don’t wear plastic pants and very seldom leak during the night.

The person in charge of making the arrangement was the CEO. I specifically didn't want him to know. Once my market generates 1-2 million per month I may feel differently. Once you are making money, you could dance naked in the moonlight and no one would care. But until then, I felt it is something no one needs to know about.

I did not have a pre-employment physical but I don't worry about doctors. They are prohibited about saying anything and there is no direction connection to the company. We did have a urinalysis for drug testing but I have a note from my urologist and I have to opt for a cath. I hate caths but they don’t note it on the record or results.

[lilJester]

it's jsut nice to know that there is someone out there in "power" that wears.

[Bettypooh]

Glad it worked out- I was really worried about this for you

I never do well with "speed changes", even with pull-ups The good fit I want takes a little time and attention and isn't something I rush. Still, I can change a six-tape diaper and get a good fit in about 2 minutes total, from walk-in to walk-out, which makes doing it take no longer than many people need to simply to have a pee Pull-ups normally go a bit faster, cloth takes me twice as long. Add another full minute for pantyhose and pull-ups. Changing a pad or stuffer would go fastest of all I'd think I wear based on expected needs and the clothing that covers me often has a large part in that decision. If fully undressing my lower half will be an issue I wear tape-on disposables. Of course life doesn't always go the way you think it will so sometimes the choice you made at the start becomes less good along the way

Like with almost every other medical condition, people with incontinence and ABDL's come from all walks of life. We all deal with this in the way we hope is best for our individual situation. With care, forethought, and some luck unwanted discovery rarely happens. It is a legitimate concern but most people let it become a bigger issue in their mind than it deserves to be Be at peace with yourself, flaws, foibles, and all. Everyone has unseen issues of one sort or another, and it's how we deal with these things in ourselves and in others that makes us better people

Bettypooh

[Baby Brian]

I have almost the same problem coming up next week. I was "volunteered" to fly out for a big project meeting with my boss. I'm fairly certain he doesn't know I need diapers but from what I gather we will be spending a few nights in the same hotel room which is already booked. I intend to try and keep my diapers low key but I'm not sure how well I'll be able to hide them. If it comes up then oh well, well see.

[ThomasInWVa]

I've never worked for a company that puts salaried employees in the same room. I have seen it for hourly workers who are traveling for construction work. Usually 2 per room. OR the company will reimburse for about 110 for a room wiht a receipt. So I guess even an hourly worker could still have a private room if they wish, they would just have to cover the cost up front for about a week or so.

I assume you would wear some sort of PJs or sweatpants. Hiding wearing a diaper may be possible, hiding the used diapers is much more of a problem. Also if you are not used to staying in a hotel room wearing a diaper, buy a small waterproof mattress pad. You can get them at Giant or Target. You don't want them hitting the company up for a mattress cleaning charge - especially if it is on your bosses card. Of course if you plan to wear cloth, you have your work cut out for you.

Good luck.

[Baby Brian]

ThomasInWVa, you're right. I just found out I'd have my own room. I'd still wear shorts/pj's to before bed though, and I do have a couple of smaller mattress protection pads I use even at home. I'm also a fan of Molicare Supers, especially when on trips of any kind.

[diapertime42]

I worked for a company 10 yrs ago that always "Double-bunked" employees on company trips. I managed my bedwetting with external condom caths and a leg bag, hidden under a long night shirt and loose sweat pants. It worked pretty well, except for the night that the friggin' hose popped off the legbag!! My biggest problem with "Double-bunking" is that I ALWAYS got paired with the guy who snored like a mac-truck...

[ldatsea]

one trick i use when i need to share a room and need to change i just take a shower start the shower first and use the sound of the water to cover my diaper removal and than get out and let the shower and let it run while i diaper up to cover any noise of putting the fresh diaper on... in my toiletries bag that almost everyone has for shaving and showing is my fresh diaper and a plastic bag to put the soiled diaper in . this has always worked well...

good luck!

[Bettypooh]

I just got back home from a couple weeks out-of-town with a 'company house' where I at least had my own bedroom Aaaannnndddd I am far from 'executive' material I managed to get by with one pull-up a day but the lifestyle change to do that was a b!tch I was riding to the job and back in the company truck and the only local food worth eating was across the street. I would drive to McDonalds every few days for a change of palate so all I had to do was find a local store dumpster I could use on that route. And with it being a small town I knew the local cop would check me out if he drove by when I was doing that My only real issue was disposal. I couldn't dump them with the house or job trash What I did was bag each one carefully in a ziploc then put it in my suitcase for later when I sneaked the whole bag out to my car before everyone else woke up. The only other tough part was when and where to change. I was able to pit a fresh diaper in my folded clothes heading to the shower and sneaking the used one out similarly With the work schedule at one point I had 5 used diapers in my suitcase but the ziplocs worked excellently as always. My biggest fear was 'snooping', as there were times when several guys could do that with me away. I kept my door closed all the time but after three days one of the crew said "I saw you needed this" as he tossed me a pillow which I didn't have- that told me he had at least been in my room or he couldn't have known that All went OK otherwise so I guess the 'snooper' didn't dig too deep. The snooper won't be back, he got fired for non-performance at work but I may end up doing more work with these people in the future, maybe as soon as their next job Other than having brought just enough diapers and having to make them last since I couldn't easily change on the jobsite, there were no real problems handling my wearing 24/7

Bettypooh

[diaperpt]

My biggest problem with "Double-bunking" is that I ALWAYS got paired with the guy who snored like a mac-truck...

Don't you just hate it that someone who snores (or has just about any other problem) may be an 'irritation' to deal with, but we have to take such care to stay hidden!

The guy who snores may be aware and feel bad, but at most all he does is say, "Gee, I'm really sorry but I snore really loud."

Wouldn't it be nice if we could just say, "Gee, I hope you aren't offended, but I need to wear diapers." - or better yet, not have to say anything!! Well, we know that is not reality, but sadly so.

I am fortunate that these work related situations don't and won't really come up for me.

This past summer though my wife and I stayed with friends overseas for a week and I had to work around many of the same issues. My wife and I did have our own room and our hosts were excellent about respecting our privacy. Still, while my wife is aware of my need, she doesn't really want to see me in diapers (yeah, really). Disposal was not easy and there was no way my wife didn't know what I was doing, but it all worked out with some care and creativity.

[Bettypooh]

.... it all worked out with some care and creativity.

<p>QFT this Short of being in jail, you always have choices and methods to deal with this that don't have to include your being outed Every choice has consequences but I've found that if you are right, it is nearly impossible for someone else to make a solid argument against your stand. If you can't think your way through these situations then you are going to be bitten in the butt by that in more things than just your wearing diapers The one theme which carries through all of this is that the amount of anxiety you feel is directly related to how well you accept yourself in the situation And how much you get from things is directly related to how much you've asked for Never be afraid of the truth; just be prepared to deal with it should it rear it's sometimes ugly head and you'll come out on top nearly every time I would find it embarrassing to become outed as someone who wears diapers, but I can also see that after that, any worries I had about this would be gone since there would no longer be anything which could be hidden Knowing that, it is no longer much of a worry for me even if I do prefer and aim for discretion and nobody knowing about this part of my life It can hurt me only if I let it, and I'll be dam#ed if I'm going to let that happen In aiming for discretion intelligently, I reduce the chances of discovery and that is all I have the power to do. If it happens

[Bettypooh]

.... it all worked out with some care and creativity.

QFT this Short of being in jail, you always have choices and methods to deal with this that don't have to include your being outed Every choice has consequences but I've found that if you are right, it is nearly impossible for someone else to make a solid argument against your stand. If you can't think your way through these situations then you are going to be bitten in the butt by that in more things than just your wearing diapers The one theme which carries through all of this is that the amount of anxiety you feel is directly related to how well you accept yourself in the situation And how much you get from things is directly related to how much you've asked for Never be afraid of the truth; just be prepared to deal with it should it rear it's sometimes ugly head and you'll come out on top nearly every time I would find it embarrassing to become outed as someone who wears diapers, but I can also see that after that, any worries I had about this would be gone since there would no longer be anything which could be hidden Knowing that, it is no longer much of a worry for me even if I do prefer and aim for discretion and nobody knowing about this part of my life It can hurt me only if I let it, and I'll be dam#ed if I'm going to let that happen In aiming for discretion intelligently, I reduce the chances of discovery and that is all I have the power to do. If it happens anyway then so be it- I will continue on with life regardless- there's really nothing else I can do and I accept that

Bettypooh