Frustration! Tired Of The Sick Games People Play Online With People'S Emotions....

[BabyChris121675]

This is kind of long so bear with me. First off, I know I am not perfect. I am Asperger's Syndrome, I have a hearing loss and CP and stuff. I am honest about that and who I am online because I want people to know I am real as both a baby and a daddy. I'm to the point where I am about to say fuckit. In my DiaperSpace account, I usually get a lot of scammers who obviously have no grasp on the English language. I read those and delete those.

Just ONCE I'd like to meet someone who is real. It's pretty damn frustrating with all these online games and people trying to get something for nothing or the obligatory online scam-artists who think some hapless American like myself is going to make their day. Sorry, I ain't that dumb. I've done my bit. Now, I just wanna find someone who is fucking real and not someone playing some twisted game. I'm tired of the games. Honesty is what I am looking for right now. I am a baby and a daddy and I can be whatever role they want me to be.

I'm just tired of the games and people being dishonest. I'm tired of seeing people using games to get to others, I'm tired of dishonesty and I am sick of the games.

This has been boiling with me for YEARS. I'd thought maybe I had made contact with people near me but they turned flaky on me and I didn't like that. I lost contact with that group. Oh well, all is well anyway- I had no way of getting to events since I don't drive.

I also couldn't get the time off work to go to the munches and I also have a financial situation and I also hate to take advantage of people. I don't have money to spend on things regularly as I am on a fixed income. Those people disappeared on me as always. I'm just tired of the dishonesty that runs rampant in this community. I would have posted this somewhere else but I know I would have gotten attacked and people would have said it was MY fault. I don't think it is.

I am just tired of this shit.

I have for years tried to find acceptance somewhere in the AB world and for some reason I feel I can't. I'm not like other AB's. I hate kiddie movies and kiddie shows- unless they're from the 80s- I prefer CNN, Fox News, ESPNews, Fox Soccer, MLB Network, History Channel over Disney, ABC Family, Nickelodeon or the PBS kids shows. I also despise kids movies too. I don't get excited everytime Dreamworks or Disney puts out a film.

I also play violent video games like Call of Duty, Grand Theft Auto and so forth. I also HATE the cutesy games.

In fact, I will admit I am looking forward to the new Alvin & The Chipmunks movie only cause I grew up on the 'munks. I watched them every Saturday morning as a kid. In fact- the only movie I am REALLY looking forward to is the Red Dawn remake since Red Dawn is a favorite movie of mine from the '80s.

I also don't read kiddie books either. I read Tom Clancy, John Grisham, Michael Crichton, and Stephen King. So I feel different than other AB's in that regard as well. I am different. I admit that. I know that being Asperger's, CP and the hearing loss are elimination markers right there. No girl in their right mind wants a guy who has those particular cards in their hands. I've accepted it. I'm just tired of the con-artists and the games people play online since I am very honest with who I am.

I can't help it. I believe honesty is the best way of doing things. I hate games, manipulating people and ultimately screwing them over which has happened to me more than once in the AB world. Sometimes I wonder why I don't fucking just give up. But I know one thing. There HAS to be a reason for things. I knoiw it. I just wish people were not inerested in sniping people and manipulating people.

I know this is a bit of a rant, but I am not sure where to post this right now. Really.

I'm just tired of feeling different than other ABs.

It's just taking it's toll on me I guess.

BabyChris121675

And no, this is NOT a pity-party thread but a legit frustration that has been building up over time. This is something that matters to me and I am NOT looking for pity.

[jbz2079]

I think that any AB/DL that has looked for friends or relation ships online feels like you do.

Online is really a dangerous place for peoples feelings and personal information, Why? because there are people all over the world just waiting

for someone to lend themselves to a quick scam or someone to "befriend " them for their own ends.

Even in the chat room on this site I have been offered thing that I am not looking for and certainly do not want ( What would I do with a 16 year old male diaper slave? ).

It is hard to find genuine friends in this community, but that does not stop us looking.

Also try to remember that no two people that you will find around this community will have the same outlook and feelings about the fetish / lifestyle.

Finding a match to your own personal feeling is very difficult and even then they might be at the other side of the world.

I personaly used to get very fraustraited by not being able to find exatily who or what I was looking for online, but gradually realised that may be online is just not the place too look.

You can learn a hell of a lot about other people by just standing back and watching what they say and do online, rather than jumping straight in with both feet as soon as they appear.

As for Diaper Space, Diaper Book or any other online site it's user beware, think before you enter into anything with anyone.

[rickibrat2]

so sorry it is a very common thing with most dating sites

[BriGuy]

Check out the real world instead of online. The connections are much more real and rewarding.

[sarah_ab]

what is this 'real world' you speak of?

[curiositykilledthecat]

I prefer the surreal world.

Chris,

I completely understand and share your frustration, however I also know that diaperspace is the biggest waste of time ever created outside of World of Warcraft. Except I get some fulfillment with WOW. You may wish to branch out to more vanilla sites and work from there or venture out tot he local scene aswell, i.e. bars or clubs. I personally hate the bar scene and can't dance so outside of straight up raves I don't club. This leave sme more or less with the online community, though I do scour the local outings for single's nights or events. there are a couple of comedy clubs in the area and a few of the local bars do in fact have singles nights every couple of months. you will have to wade through the depressing pile of hopless fifty-something year olds but you will finda couple prospects. I can also honetsly reccomend checking out fetlife over diaperspace, I have managed to make some friends via fetlife that share common interest. I may not have found my ideal partner as of yet, however it is encouraging when random people write to you and give you some form of validation. I live my life to the point where I don't need said validation, however it is nice to get it. There are plenty of fish in the seas, it's just a matter of weighing anchor in the right pond. good luck to you and go blow off some steam online killing things.

[gweg]

what is this 'real world' you speak of?

The great outdoors? LOL that is the real world for me...

[BabyChris121675]

For the record, I do get out in the 'real world' and away from my computer and I am rich in friends and what have you. I have tried vanilla dating, it failed miserably and I am in a position where I don't spend money on dating sites as I can't afford them. I have other things I'd rather spend my money on. I'm just frustrated by people who just aren't honest with people and are playing games. I hate that. That's what I am tired of.

I am also not much into the whole bar scene for dating myself.

For now, I am just going to keep going forward with life and be positive about things. That's what I plan on doing.

BabyChris121675

[Nat]

I have had people who tell me their fake age or gender because that is how they feel on the inside. I hate that and I feel played and lied to. I do not want to be sucked into their fantasies and role playing games. People who are honest will say they are a sissy or transgender or what their bio gender is or say they feel (insert age here) say their real age is (insert age here) or say their role playing age is (insert age here) than say how old they are they really aren't or what gender they are they really aren't which is misleading.

[Diapered Jason]

I have been having a lot better luck with diapermates. Diaperspace is more like a MySpace account as it is so named. People's objectives on Diaperspace is more along the lines of networking, not dating. Still, the best way to increase your odds of success is to have a complete profile including a bio and a picture on every site. In addition, you should mostly deal with people who have completed profiles, otherwise they are probably not that serious and/or scammers. I have read through many female profiles and they all complain about the same things. When first contacting them, say more than just hello and don't send a friend request. Commenting on their profile is key here as it shows you read it. They really want to know that you read their profile.

It is well known that the male profiles largely out number the female profiles, but just by following the common sense measures I mentioned and being considerate and thoughtful in your messages, your chances are already better than most guys out there.

Also, I have no idea how you are getting random messages. No one has ever sent me a message on the dating sites unless I sent one first, lol.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I get a few of the nigerian 404 style letters on dipaerspace, however not that often. I didn't have any luck with diapermates as of yet. There aren't a lot of women in my state on that site

[Yvhuce]

Check out the real world instead of online. The connections are much more real and rewarding.

Aspergers is a type of autism. It makes it difficult for someone to have connections with other people. I have this, too. As well as some severe general social anxiety. I had some other problems, but those have been going away since I started taking sleep medication to combat my insomnia. I'm going to a shrink and doing some purposeful stuff like not buying as much at the store so I have to go back more often to help cope. It's not just as easy as telling someone "go out and mingle" when part of their mind is sabotaging their ability to do so... That's kind of like trying to toilet train a baby just by telling them "stop crapping your pants".

The great outdoors? LOL that is the real world for me...

It's a good movie, but I wouldn't go that far...

I have had people who tell me their fake age or gender because that is how they feel on the inside. I hate that and I feel played and lied to. I do not want to be sucked into their fantasies and role playing games. People who are honest will say they are a sissy or transgender or what their bio gender is or say they feel (insert age here) say their real age is (insert age here) or say their role playing age is (insert age here) than say how old they are they really aren't or what gender they are they really aren't which is misleading.

Indeed. People can get killed over that sort of thing. My uncle works in an ER. One of the more cases that he mentioned was that a group of soldiers wound up with a crossdresser hooker and ran him over repeatedly. In my neck of the woods, you're a "him" or a "her" by birth. And if you don't like that, tough shit. You don't get to call yourself a "her" if you were born a "him". If you want to pretend to be a "her" then you can damn well say "I'm a him pretending to be a her". If you're transgendered you can say "I was born a him, now I'm a her" or "I'm an it".

[BriGuy]

I know plenty of people with ausbergers who have functional relationships. Hell my father has it. I'm sick of hearing I have this problem or that problem so I can't do it. Excuses are all they are.

My closest friend has ausbergers and is a sherrif with a successful career, a wife and two kids. He talks to me about the challenges he faces every day and how he conquers them. He conquers them....

If you want something figure out how to get it, dont make excuses for why you don't have it. That seems to be a familiar voice among the members on this board. "I have this or I have that so I can't have a relationship. I like to wear diapers and that's why no one likes me."

Excuse excuse excuse. The crux of those issues isn't what's wrong with you but your inability to try to figure out how to overcome those difficulties. The poor me attitude is pretty lame and most people don't like being around those type of people. Hence the lack of relationships some people are experiencing.

[Nat]

The OP isn't using his AS as an excuse for why he is failing. He is just saying he is tried of all the games people play on him and not being honest. I think he is taking the scams too personally because lot of people get them and they just ignore it and delete it or just report it and be done with it and not be all angry about it.

Just because some aspies were able to find a relationship doesn't mean others can. Some have good luck getting one and others just struggle. Some of them keep trying and then give up.

And Yvhuse did say he was seeing a shrink to find ways to cope.

Where did you get the idea in this thread that is what those two were doing?

[BabyChris121675]

Excueses, BriGuy? I am not using excuses. The AS is not why I am failing, I am failing in dating because I seem to run into the worst of people online rather than people like me who are honest and good.

I am just tired of running into the worst of the worst in the online scene in the AB community and never meeting people. For me, I learned about my Asperger's in '04 and I have overcome it. I worked for six years in a restaurant and lead a pretty active social life which I still do when I can afford to. I had to give that job up because of my phyisical disbabilities kicking up more than I want them to right now. Thanks for the insult and ruining my day.

My point was I was tired of running into the worst of the worst online and getting fed up with scammers, people playing games and gererally being dishonest. THAT gets tiresome. In fact BriGuy, I am rather more social and I have a lot of relationships with friends but right now I am ready for the next step with a girl and finding someone in the vanilla world has not worked for me and I am not paying money for those idiotic dating websites. I don't have the income for that. I was not blaming my AS.

I also have other things I'd rather spend my money on.

Anyway an update on the situation, I am feeling a little better today and have had time to cool off a little until I saw BriGuy's post- again, thanks for attacking me- Like I needed that on a day when I am feeling better about myself. I decided that before BriGuy's attack on me I was going to say something else but after that; I am still going to say it. It's a new day and I feel something good will happen. I always tell my friends that patience is a virtue. If you're paitent it pays off. I had an example of that yesterday and today. I finally heard back from a close friend last night that I hadn't heard from in a while as she has been working a lot and and I also slept good for ONCE so it's a new day. I feel better today than I have in a week or two.

Thanks for all the words everyone. That does mean a lot to me. It's after all a new day and I think something good will happen. I needed to vent my feelings somewhere amongst my fellow ABs and I frankly couldn't think of a better place than here eh? So thanks to DD for letting me vent a bit.

BabyChris121675

And for the record, I do get out in the real world, I coach first base for a softball team, go to baseball games at the local university, I walk with friends and I participate every year in an Autism fundraiser so I do get out into the real world, BriGuy.

[BriGuy]

My reply was intended for the post above mine from yvhuse. I'm on a phone that makes it difficult to quote.

Glad to hear you've got a lm active social life and things are looking up for ya. Feeling alone is never a good thing. For the record my post was not intended to attack you. If I wanted to attack you I would have used your screen name. I speak only in generalities.

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I have to agree. It is the subject of a couple of blog entries. The online AB scene was much better before Yahoo went into panic modde about us and we could put up groups, RUFFLES & RIBBONS GIRLS' HOME was the center of that group and it was quite lively 5 years back, although, the inactive participant is not limited to the AB world, I have several non-AB/LG groups and they have a goodly supply of members and are like Bucharest on a Monday night. I do belong to one Yahoo group that is decently active; a musical instrument group. Otherwise; morgue city. I had 3 persons from here contact me and then they just vanished. It is that kind of thing that is the reason why I do not accept friend requests until we have communicated at least 3 times One started IM'ing me right away without so much as a "by your leave" and If I did not answer withing a half-minute would drop off. So between the ignorance, rudeness and self-absorbedness, I think the quality of the online person has gone downhill

[Elfy]

I find it hard to talk to people too, I don't have anything wrong with me I'm just very shy!

Anyway, you are right patience will pay off and a relationship will hit you when you least expect it. Thats what happened to me

But before that I felt lonely as well, its not always easy to go out and meet new people but you have to try your best to. I think as long as you have a positive outlook on life, eventually something will come along.

[Yvhuce]

My reply was intended for the post above mine from yvhuse. I'm on a phone that makes it difficult to quote.

Glad to hear you've got a lm active social life and things are looking up for ya. Feeling alone is never a good thing. For the record my post was not intended to attack you. If I wanted to attack you I would have used your screen name. I speak only in generalities.

My point had nothing to do with excuses. Simply an explanation that some people have a harder time than others. There's a spectrum of Autism and Aspergers. Some people fall under the "high functioning" end of the spectrum. Others, fall elsewhere. You can't expect someone who's not one of the "high functioning" people to be able to simply "buck up and CONQUER it". If it was that easy, it wouldn't be a problem.

I'm not one to just complain, if there's a solution. At work, I'm the guy who buckles down and works hard enough to make everyone else look bad. I have severe migraines. Instead of letting myself be laid up, basically incapacitated by pain for a week or so (I honestly have never let one go the full course, so I don't know how long they'll last), I take strong prescription pain medication and sacrifice a single day to be back to my usual self the next day. But trying to be social is kicking my ass... It's not easy. There is no sledgehammer for my problem... It has to be chiseled away at... And I've only had the proverbial chisel for about a year... Progress is slow, but it IS being made... If there honestly was a quick way to go about it, that would be great. But that simply doesn't exist.

[Bettypooh]

For the record, I do get out in the 'real world' and away from my computer and I am rich in friends and what have you. I have tried vanilla dating, it failed miserably and I am in a position where I don't spend money on dating sites as I can't afford them. I have other things I'd rather spend my money on. I'm just frustrated by people who just aren't honest with people and are playing games. I hate that. That's what I am tired of.

I am also not much into the whole bar scene for dating myself.

For now, I am just going to keep going forward with life and be positive about things. That's what I plan on doing.

BabyChris121675

I've always been a social misfit so I know where you're coming from. But the fact is that if you want real-world interaction you must enter the real world- and it's not always a nice world either. Just find a way to cope as best you can and begin with small 'bites' till you find someplace you like. Online makes lying all too easy, which is why so many do that. For me, lying is a deal-killer no matter how much I like someone- the first lie I find ends it all.

....The "poor me" attitude is pretty lame and most people don't like being around those type of people. Hence the lack of relationships some people are experiencing.

Agreed- even if you have problems, people don't like it when you use them as an excuse or as a crutch to impair yourself with. You have to just go out and do your own thing your own way and see what comes of it. I had a friend who was paranoid-schizo and really weird- but underneath was a really great person once you got to know him. The bugger got married- happily- while "less weird me" never managed to do that. So it can be done, you just have to go out and do it- and I didn't. C'est la vie!

And Curi, not all of us "fifty-somethings" are hopeless- when you too get here you'll understand that. I will agree that the older ones who are deceitful or who think they are still young are the worst though, because it's usually long-term experience with deceit that makes them that bad. But that long-term experience can offer many good things too- the best sex I ever had was with a woman nearly twice my age- and well over 50, So there

Bettypooh