What Do You Say

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well I finally decided that I'm doing quite as well as I could be a multitude of levels and made an appointment to seek some counseling, however I don't have the faintest clue as what to say, what do I divulge and so forth. I am basically stressed out and constantly angry so I know I can go with that, however what do you say or do with a therapist? do I start saying what I think is wrong with me? Some of yall go on a regular basis, how does this stuff work?

[Depends1578]

When I go for depression, I talk about what I want to. Usually its about how my week went, how I feel/felt about certain things of my week, the choices ive made, any arguements ive had, and then we find solutions or alternatives to cope for my issues. Typically you'll have the therapist do his or her job and get to know you first in a session and then will ask you about why your there, etc. You can say whatever you want in therapy, and it will not be shared with anyone else. What stays behind those closed doors, stays there. Your allowed to express your mind and feelings. Hope this helps,

[Rani]

I've never been to one but from what experience I have had with my doctor they know exactly what to ask to get information out of you and to help you. They'll probably start off gently and let you get to know them a little too so that you can trust them.

Relax, I know it's not an easy thing to do but I'm sure it'll all work out fine. Asking for help is a big step to start with and I really hope it gives you the answers you feel you need. Hugs.

[Bettypooh]

In my experiences, it begins with one basic question about why you're there- then they ask general life questions to figure out how to steer the conversation from there By the 2nd or 3rd visit you will be on the course they think you need and making progress Just go in saying what you did here- you're stressed out and constantly angry If they think they need to explore around it they will but for the first few times they are still trying to learn what 'makes you tick' Unless something else points to it you probably won't hear anything about your sex life except in a very general way

Bettypooh

[curiositykilledthecat]

I am anticipating a potential diagnosis of some grade of BPD at some point, of course I could be over analyzing/criticizing. I don't want to walk in there and say one thing and just have that be it, rather see what happens.

[sarah_ab]

and initial visit will actually feel more like an informal interview about who you are ... you know what do you do for work, any hobbies, brothers, sisters etc.... this helps the therapist gauge you reactions and comfort level and also get some general background... a goos therapist understands it can take many visits before peeople are really ready to open up.... dont think about a diagnosis ..... thats not you job in therapy.... you job is to figure out (with help and guidance from the therapist) where you want to be, where you currently are , and how to get from where you are to where you want to be....

you in no way have to bear your soul in the first , second, even third appt....( now the fourth appt you are required by law to break down and sob for 45 min.... lol) ..... but really its just going to be a time for you to talk things out with a nuetral third party who can help guide you... and who can teach valuable coping skilss etc...

and remember you are paying them so if you dont want to, oor are not ready to answer a question of speak on a topic you do not have to.

good luck and also congrats are coming to this point .... not everyone knows how to ask for help when needed

[curiositykilledthecat]

okay that is good to know

[KittenAB]

Venting, that's about all therapists are good for, that and getting paperwork for certain other things. Basically a therapist is what priests and priestesses are suppose to be, they listen, offer some helpful words of encouragement ... and then tell no one what you said. Anything they do beyond that is over stepping their bounds and probably illegal where you live.

[Bettypooh]

Curi, don't fret things- at the most that will want to know why you came in in the most basic terms only When you get right down to it only the 'fill in the blank' details of people's issues vary much; the causes and motivations and problem triggers are essentially the same for everything What a therapist does is learn what those are with you, learn about your life, then customize the approach to helping you so that it does the most good They neither want or need any 'gory details' about you- TMI just confuses things Now if it turns out that a certain detail is at the root of an issue, they may dig deeper but usually this isn't the case. One thing I will say based on the very successful help I got- you have to be utterly honest with them- there is no other way If there's something you don't want to go into then tell them that instead of altering the whole truth They will find a way to work around it or go there later when the situation is better

Trust is needed for them to be able to help. You're not going to trust them right away- nobody does- but it should build fairly quickly and if it doesn't, then you might want to consider seeing someone else. Just like all human interactions you are not going to get along well with everyone. What you want and what they want is one in the same- for you to be able to deal with all your problems well all by yourself; for you to be happy with your life; and for you to live long and prosper I'd say that's not so bad a thing to want!

Bettypooh

[curiositykilledthecat]

if things go well i will open up a bit, however yeah i am being very basic.

[LILJIM]

Curi, don't fret things- Just like all human interactions you are not going to get along well with everyone.

Bettypooh

My gut tells me within a few minutes if I can get along with the other person for longer than a few minutes. If you feel that way find someone else.Good-luck!!!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Yeah there are some people who I instinctively know it will not work out with. I already know that it's okay to seek a different counselor if need be, however I will give this one a shot and see how it goes. Still nervous about what I am going to say, however a lot of what I thought might have been just me, turns out other people exposed to the same situation feel the same way so I don't feel quite as bad.

[tcc]

I congratulate you.

At A.A., we learn in one of the steps to make an honest and rigorous moral inventory of OURSELVES, you know, what WE think makes us tick. That is the only way we can begin to deal with our alcoholism - alcohol's absolute power over us and our inability to have any power over alcohol. As a mortician, I deal with people that deal with grief and mourning. Some people can breeze through grief and mourning while others are tripped up by it, for a variety of reasons, for a long long time. When that happens, like with alcohol, when a person feels powerless over something, and doesn't know what else to do, it doesn't mean defeat to seek professional help. It means you seek some kind of resolution with the help of someone else! It means you are DOING something to feel better about yourself and your life! Its'a GOOD thing.

And, maybe a profession can't fix you or your problem. But, if they can help YOU focus, and find YOUR resolve, that will work for YOU, then it's worth the time you've spent, and maybe the money, to see outside help and another opinion.

If you don't go in with preconceived notions of what is going to happen and what might be expected - and, gee, you can even ASK about what to expect and what is going to happen - you may find the counselling will be of value OR you might even be able to deal with things on your own, or that you do, indeed, have a medical situation that, when addressed, can get you closer to where you want to be.

Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness. It DOES show some integrity if you've sought help on your own, and it's not court mandated or forced upon you by a medical professional. Best wishes and good luck.

Oh, and BTW, if it boils down to the typical historical differences that come up in dealing with women, there's way more to it than a shrink can help you with! LOL

[curiositykilledthecat]

Hello everyone

I wanted to give an update since I had my first visit. Sarah was right, all he did was have me fill out some paperwork and ask me general questions. He was actually really cool and as he put it, he does not work like a mechanic fixing a broken transmission. Rather he looks at the situation as a coach trying to help the player change what isn't working and improve upon what does. I like the psychologist sop far and he at least has not been what I thought all psychologists would be. I get to dig into my past a bit next week so things will be interesting.

[LilFozzyJ5]

Hi CKTC,

Im glad it has started so well for you. Fingers crossed he will be a big help, if its anything like the lass I am seeing, she describes it as a partnership, where we will both be doing a lot of talking.

I think the first steps are very much the hardest:

Admitting you have a problem.

Speaking to someone (GP or family/friends) about it.

Asking for help.

Speaking to your contact for the first time.

Each of thoses steps is very very difficult for me, and I have had to do a couple of them more than once (Moving around and leaving the forces).

So a very well done to you, you should be very proud of the strength you have displayed!

very good luck to you CKTC, my fingers are crossed.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Thanks.

Funny thing is my mother is already trying to pry info out of me. It's amusing.

[sarah_ab]

easy enough, tell her you started off talking about your sex life and you are working on understanding your attractive to chickens and blood, and next session you are going to try some roleplaying in this regard...... then state that your therapist mentioned something about early childhood experiences with the mother, and can your mom think of anything she did that involved chickens and you when you were young.

[curiositykilledthecat]

lmao, win

[sarah_ab]

hey i bet it would get her to back off a bit... the key is to be convincing in your delivery.

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Hi there,

When I first started seeing my therapist Last Year, my very first Appointment was an "Intake", where they ask questions about your background, what you feel is bothering you etc. I would suggest to speak what is on your mind. That is saying something coming from me especially with my trust issues lol. Hope this Helps,

Rockies Fan. Go Rockies in 2011!

[diaperpt]

I hope this works out for you, Curi. I think most of the advice given has been pretty good. Sarah's answer as to what to tell your mother was pretty good - not sure how practical. I don't know what to tell her other than to stay out of your life! The part where Sarah said tell her you'll be talking about her is probably pretty accurate! If she's prying now, I bet she was at least a small part of your problems. It certainly is a cliche, but I'm convinced now how my mother affected me. She was trying to do the best she could, but she did a job on me!

btw, I go up that way on a regular basis a couple times a week, if you ever walk to talk to an old guy...

[curiositykilledthecat]

I got mornings free again so let me know if you want a grab a cup of coffee or something.