Can We Stop Misusing The Term "Incontinent?"

[AutieAB]

until you feel the worry of leaking and have to deal with inconvenient diaper changes against your wishes and on a regular basis you don't know all about incontinence on a personal level

And this is why I agree with the OP that those who deliberately un-train themselves are not incontinent, per-se, particularly the bit I highlighted in red - it's all about choice. That said, I seem to be in the minority and I should point out that I have no personal experience of either circumstance - medical incontinence or deliberate un-training - so my opinion probably shouldn't count for much I certainly don't look down on those who wish to give up their continence voluntarily (not my place to judge) and don't claim to understand what it's like to face the problems experienced by incontinent folks day-to-day (not my place to be so nosey).

However... And this is a serious question, I'm not being flippant... If in terms of definitions, those who have some physiological problem resulting in a loss of bladder control and those who achieve the same outcome by deliberately 'un-training' themselves to fulfil a lifestyle desire are one and the same, that is "incontinent", why does this site have a separate forum section for each group?

[erevu]

If in terms of definitions, those who have some physiological problem resulting in a loss of bladder control and those who achieve the same outcome by deliberately 'un-training' themselves to fulfil a lifestyle desire are one and the same, that is "incontinent", why does this site have a separate forum section for each group?

To separate those who actively seek it from those who are annoyed with them. And the topics are different: dealing with incontinence versus pursuing incontinence.

[Bettypooh]

To separate those who actively seek it from those who are annoyed with them. And the topics are different: dealing with incontinence versus pursuing incontinence.

This

I was instructed to take a more critical view of off-topic posting here than elsewhere when I became a Mod so I do- and I fully agree with that principle Here, those who are Medically Incontinent have more free reign to speak on the subject while others have less freedom- and incontinent desires do not belong here period, which is why DD created a forum specifically for them

Ego Seperabit

Bettypooh

[rickibrat2]

This

I was instructed to take a more critical view of off-topic posting here than elsewhere when I became a Mod so I do- and I fully agree with that principle Here, those who are Medically Incontinent have more free reign to speak on the subject while others have less freedom- and incontinent desires do not belong here period, which is why DD created a forum specifically for them

Ego Seperabit

Bettypooh

right on they have there own area i wish many could get there wishes would love to trade places for a few years

[AutieAB]

This

Exactly!

The issues, the means to the end and the motivations are all different. So surely it's unfair to label both groups with the same term?

My final words on the subject: I guess I just feel that those who put themselves in a situation through their own choices and actions, whilst they're free to do it if they so wish, shouldn't pass themselves off as being in the same situation as those who are medically incontinent.

[babykeiff]

...

Here, those who are Medically Incontinent have more free reign to speak on the subject while others have less freedom- and incontinent desires do not belong here period, which is why DD created a forum specifically for them

...

As a mod states, this 'Incontinence - Medical' is for those group of people who are medically incontinent. It is also my understanding, to be used to ask medical related questions to those people who are incontinent, or those people who have the medical knowledge capable of answering said medical questions.

Considering that, who is the 'WE' that is being referred to in the question 'Can we stop misusing the term incontinent'. If the 'we' is the group of people who do not fall into the group of medically incontinent, then why is this question being asked here? If not, then the question is mute, or in my opinion, a way to start an argument.

[babytommy1981]

cant we all just get along, lol. true medical and forced medical problems. lets face it some of us wish we didnt need them some want them. but in the middle we can all just say we have them and thats the way it is. for me i dont like to see poeple force them selfs to loose bladder control. if i could hold it once again i would be happy. but dont think that will happen so i must live alife like the rest of us true medical problemed persons. of wearing and wetting and changing and dealing with all the stress of dealing with it. I ask my self why o why would some one want to put them selfs though this. I know deep down in side once they notice how much of a true pain it is to live like this they will eather re potty train them selfs or SAY i wish i never did this.

[LuvsGurl]

to me it looks like once again the medical area has been hi jacked by others that want to play in diapers and have no understanding of what life is like in diapers for real

Please, give us some understanding of what life is like "in diapers for real". There are plenty of ABDLs who choose to wear 24/7 because it feels right for them. How are their experiences any different from the people you claim are "really incontinent"? Even incontinent people choose to wear diapers. They could go without, they could use a catheter, they could follow a toileting schedule, they could have surgery. There are many modern alternatives to wearing diapers, so I don't see how whether or not you had bladder control before you chose the diapers matters all that much in the grand scheme of things.

What I do see is a lot of jealousy. Members who are "medically incontinent" hate on members who want to lose control because they actually want to wear, and enjoy wearing, diapers. Don't envy people for having something that you do not. Play the hand you've been dealt and life your life to the fullest. Nitpicking over who is and isn't incontinent and by what definition is ridiculous.

[babykeiff]

Please, give us some understanding of what life is like "in diapers for real". There are plenty of ABDLs who choose to wear 24/7 because it feels right for them. How are their experiences any different from the people you claim are "really incontinent"? Even incontinent people choose to wear diapers. They could go without, they could use a catheter, they could follow a toileting schedule, they could have surgery. There are many modern alternatives to wearing diapers, so I don't see how whether or not you had bladder control before you chose the diapers matters all that much in the grand scheme of things.

What I do see is a lot of jealousy. Members who are "medically incontinent" hate on members who want to lose control because they actually want to wear, and enjoy wearing, diapers. Don't envy people for having something that you do not. Play the hand you've been dealt and life your life to the fullest. Nitpicking over who is and isn't incontinent and by what definition is ridiculous.

I completely agree with you, LuvsGurl. Yes, I am, what is classed as medically incontinent, and have been since I was a child. However, I see here, a lot of repressed anger coming from members who are, for the purpose of this post, Group 3. That is they used to have full bladder / bowel functions, but due to some complications, are now classed as medically incontinent, and choose to wear diapers rather than collection bags etc. As I stated in an earlier post, the choice to wear diapers is a FREE CHOICE. There is always an alternative to diapers. Secondly, if you chose to wear diapers, as with every choice you make, there are consequences to your choice. One of the consequences, as has been ably described is the possibility of leakage. The simple way to avoid leakage if you chose to wear diapers is to change more often. I will even simplify this. If, on average, you use 4 diapers a day, and each one, or most of them (more than half) have leaked, then reduce the time gap between changes OR get a more absorbent diaper.

I never thought that I would be posting the follow, considering the site I am on, and the group of people this is aimed at....

An adult diaper is not as thick nor as absorbent as a baby diaper. Neither does it have the same quantity of SAP as a baby diaper. The reason fo this is to avoid the adult diaper swelling like a baby diaper and showing through clothes to all that you are wearing a diaper. This is ok with a baby diaper as that is what is expected of a baby - to wear a diaper etc.

The following causes a number of problems with an adult diaper - and the main one is that the padding will break up. It is the movement of the adult that causes the padding to break up. This doesn't happen if the diaper is wet, since the padding tends to stick together. When the padding breaks up, the diaper becomes less and less absorbent, to such an extent that even a dry diaper with broken padding can't even absorb a cup of water before leaking.

The only way to avoid this happening - ie the leaks, is to change the diaper more often. I find that if I am constantly moving around, after about two hours, the diaper is useless at absorbing anything. The time-scale will be different to you because it all depends on the amount of movement that is involved.

ALSO - The thin plastic on the outside of a disposable diaper is NOT waterproof. Examine it yourself and you will see. Due to the compact packing, and the SAP within the diaper, the SAP makes tiny holes in the plastic liner of the diaper. To avoid this causing leaks, it is advisable to wear plastic pants over the diaper as a precaution, but make sure that all the diaper is covered by the plastic pants.

As a rule of thumb, a diaper should be changed / checked every two - four hours depending on your movement, fluid intake / output etc. The long term diaper wearers should already know this within the first month or two of wearing.

If you can't organise yourself to not leak while wearing diapers - then wearing diapers is not the correct choice for you. Babies diapers leak - why - cause their parent / career has not changed them often enough OR the diaper that the baby is wearing is the wrong size / not suitable for the child in question.

I know that this is a 'bABy' themed forum, but why are some members so infantile? Please, for yourselves, take responsibility for your own choices.

[babykeiff]

to me it looks like once again the medical area has been hi jacked by others that want to play in diapers and have no understanding of what life is like in diapers for real

Those who PLAY in diapers are, in my humble opinion, acting a little more responsible than those who don't. It is the members that state that they are medically incontinent who are complaining about leaks etc.... A babies diaper leaks - cause it is too immature to be able to be responsible for its own actions. A baby depends on a more responsible person to take care of it, including ensuring that the its diaper does not leak.

Life in diapers requires responsibility. Diapers are a choice of underwear - for real!

It is easy to say that 'some people of no understanding what life is like in underwear for real.... OR needing crutches OR being blind OR dealing with ones own uniqueness...

You have no idea what it is like being me... and dealing with all the things that I have to deal with!! for real

Life is all about taking RESPONSIBILITY.

[sarah_ab]

Life is all about taking RESPONSIBILITY.

I just liked this and wanted to repeat it.... and the part about it IS a choice for incontinent people to wear diapers. And while losing control of bowel/bladder functions may not have been a choice for many people who post on this particular forum, they did make the choice to put on a diaper rather than alternate methods.

Personally, if you want to make yourself incontinent, and you are not going to extremes to do it (cutting your body or other such things) but instead are just 'retraining' your body and brain.... then go for it, but don't pretend or act surprised, when those whose loss of functioning was of no choice of their own, get angry or frustrated at your choice.

This is a place where many come for acceptance and understanding, however this place is made up of unique individuals and as such are going to have differing views and opinoins. DD has done what i believe is a great job in creating unique places on this site for many of the general situations or likes people have, and its simple respect to post in the appropriate section. For example, people who want to discuss pooping etc.. should do so in the squishy stinky proud section, people who want to discuss aspects of WISHING to be incontinent should do so in the incontinent desires forum. And those who wish to discuss actually issues etc..

we don't have to agree with everyones choices or lifestyles on here, and its ok to voice that disagreement, but if you are free to make your own choices, then you have to respect other people are free to make their own choices.....

And by You i am not dspeaking of any one person in general, it was just easier than typing s/he etc....

[Cruiser 03]

Well i'll tell ya maybe we should do something to clear this up ,I am a chronic Pain Patient and when you are one you have to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are truly living in misery before they break out the narcotics which are the last line of defense on the pain pyramid (think of the food pyramid but its Medications and combinations of medications that you must use and not get relief from pain with) and then finally you become a Pain Patient instead of a "drug Seeker", so why dont we classify all these "incon" wannabes "DSincon" (diaper seeking incontinence) as i have said before i have no problem with people who want to play with diapers who get aroused by them or who want to wear them for whatever reason they SAP paper glue a little plastic and some velcro no big deal, what i do have a problem is the boneheads that want to Damage their bodies to become "Incon" or try and get a diagnosis of "Incon" so that 1. they never have to admit to family and friends that they like diapers, and the 2nd reason is the greedy boneheads that work to get the diagnosis so their Insurance will pay for their diaper habit that they created, makes my skin crawl .

Peace

Happy Holidays

And remember caffeine and alcohol are irritants if you indulge you diaper will bulge! LOL

[Diaper273]

An incontinent person is incontinent whether they trained themselves to wet or were born that way.

Simply, take this example. If a man whom has a full head of hair shaves his head, he is bald. He is not naturally bald, but he did choose to shave his head, therefore he is bald. Same with incontinence. If someone chooses to train themselves to not be continent, then they are incontinent (they are training themselves to eventually lose all control). We don't say they are continent because they used to have the ability to control urination. They are medically incontinent, just as the man who can grow hair, but shaves it all off is bald.

[Daddy Fred]

Re. directly to AndB's posting, might I suggest the use of the phrase "voluntary incontinence" to mean the difference from plain "incontinence" which is a medical condition, not generally liked by the sufferers. I can well understand the feelings of those who have incontinence, and the negative effects it has on their lives. But even more so can I understand how it must feel to an incontinence sufferer that there are actually people around who invite the condition. "How can this be so"? is the reasoning an incontinence sufferer must be baffled by.

But then aren't we surrounded all the time by such apparent illogic, as Mr. Spock might say? Why, the very existence of this website and many others catering to and for adult babies is obvious proof.

The one that really 'got' me is the one where gay males actually tried to get themselves infected with the aids virus, a thing called "gifting", as exposed by Stephen Fry on one of his documentaries.

So I work under the principle, IF IT DOES NO REAL HARM, IT'S OK.

Daddy Fred.

xx

[lambcannon]

Welcome to the incontinent continent. Have a seat.

[bignappybo]

Dose it matter if they are wearing a nappie and tey are useing it, then what is the problem if they are AB/DL or need to wear them due to a medical condition, i thought all were welcome here as long as they were into diapers.