Self Confidence

[quicktip]

Hey DD,

I am just looking for tips on how to build your self confidence up from those who wear full time in public. I noticed I am feeling inferior to others because of incontinence and diapers. I feel somewhat lesser of a man, and this is effecting me from trying to date anyone.

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Quicktip

[beallucanb]

Just remember there is nothing wrong with you because you wear a diaper, you are just as much a man as anyone else, just because your incontenent dosn't mean your anything less than anyone else.

Some of my best freinds wear diapers, wearing a different kind of underwear dosn't make you any less of a person.

You wear what you need to wear, diaper up and enjoy your life.

[dl247]

I can only speak and offer advice from my experiences.

First of all you need to look at your options such as having accidents in public, or wearing protection i.e. diapers. I am more affraid of having accidents then I am of wearing diapers, and that is the first step in dealing with wearing in public. Then once you find the correct diaper then it becomes no different than wearing regular underware, except that you change during the day.

You must have confidence, and if you really have incontinence then wearing in public is a relief, not stressful, as I said before there is nothing more stressful then having accidents in public.

[Angela Bauer]

Hey DD,

I am just looking for tips on how to build your self confidence up from those who wear full time in public. I noticed I am feeling inferior to others because of incontinence and diapers. I feel somewhat lesser of a man, and this is effecting me from trying to date anyone.

Quicktip

Hi Quick Tip, since this section is for actual incontinence, I will assume you are incontinent and have been under the care of qualified medical professionals to treat your condition. Are you telling us that with all that medical treatment you have received absolutely no counseling in dealing with the psychological effects of not being continent? If so, then you must be in the hands of a whole lot of people who have not kept up with continuing education in the field of social continence.

Of course incontinence is a general term for a lot of medical conditions causing lack of control of bladder, bowel or both. Sometimes in men the same condition causing lack of control also diminishes sexual desire. From what you shared you want to date. Perhaps what you are looking for are suggestions about attracting romantic partners? Maybe you should request from your primary care physician a referral to a psychologist experienced in the enhancement of social function.

[aleyxsis]

totaly agree there should be counselling if in fact if you are incontinent.If you are not like me who does chose to wear the odd time in public then just don't care about what people might think .Took me along time to get to that point but what is most important what do think about yourself ??? high self asteam is the best you can have easier said than for sure but don't give up !!

[Dougie]

I will have to agree with dl247 on the stress factors. At first I thought I could make it to the bathroom as soon as I felt the need to go. The first accident was at a movie theater. I made it through the movie before I felt the need to go. I promptly headed to the restroom. I got a few feet from the door when my bladder let go. I had to walk through a crowded mall to get to my car. I felt like everyone was looking at me like I was a sick freak. The second time was on my way to work. I was dry when I left home. I was pretty wet before I got to work. I had to call my boss just blocks from the office to tell him I had to go back home for personal reasons. I went back home I mad a mental breakdown. I was a complete mess.

I had to accept that I couldn't tell when my bladder would release, because I rarely felt it. I already wore diapers at night. I decided that the risk that someone might notice was better than wetting myself and have everyone notice.

It's been diapers 24/7 since. Nobody has said a word about it, nor do I think they care.

[Bettypooh]

Hey DD,

I am just looking for tips on how to build your self confidence up from those who wear full time in public. I noticed I am feeling inferior to others because of incontinence and diapers. I feel somewhat lesser of a man, and this is effecting me from trying to date anyone.

-

Quicktip

A lot of life is relative to how you see things Which is stronger? the person who has a problem but will neither admit it or try to do what they can for it; or someone who has the courage to say "Yeah, I have a problem but I deal with it as well as anyone can". Along with many others I have a bad back and there are some things I cannot do which most people can do That doesn't make me weak and I'm certainly not a wimp I just have a problem and I deal with it as well as anyone can. It's all in how you look at things- what you see is changed by how you look at it So you're a man in diapers- that takes more guts to do than it does to try and run from the inescapable issue. So I can't lift that box and have to ask for help- so what? If the box were more than you could lift, you'd need help too That doesn't make either of us weak, does it? Not at all!

How the rest of the world deals with you will depend on how you deal with yourself. See yourself as strong and unashamed, for you are strong and shame is a choice you don't have to make or take from someone else You're dealing with a problem as good as anyone possibly can. Nobody can do it any better so don't let anyone (including yourself) make you feel bad about that. Every morning I look deeply into the eyes of the person I see in the mirror. They're an unusual person to be sure, but one of the best. They have problems but they deal with them well, and they're not going to let those problems ruin their life today. That's pretty darn good in my book, and I know of none who can do any better

Bettypooh

[ldatsea]

the hardest thing to get over is your own fears.... i takes time to truly believe and understand that you are no more or less of a man/PERSON than any other man/PERSON in the world, you have to do different things than some other men.. BUT they also have to different things than you. your issue is not becuase you wear diapers its becuase your afraid what others think about you becuase you wear diapers.... for me the things that allowed me to get over these fears are;

1. diapers allow me to do things i wouldnt be able to do with out them.

2. Only imature people and kids would make fun of you and what do you care what they think.

3. EVERYBODY has issues

4. people in general are so wrapped up in thier own lives and needs they pay no attetion to you or what you wear unless you

give them a reason to.

5. life is to short

i have been able to date get married and have been in diapers for over 22 years 9 of them 24/7 its not easy you have to work harder and pay attention to things but that is life ..

and YES I am a MAN and yes i wear diapers if you have a problem with it we can go outside....

[Horndog]

I don't wear 24/7, but I can relate to the subject matter.

Self confidence comes from being responsible and then going through the transition to make that responsibility second nature. Once you master your routine and changing in public, you'll start gaining confidence.

You know, there's no reason to feel inferior because everyone has a personal responsibility to maintain their hygiene and poise (no pun intended).

[Wheels]

I like the idea of counseling. But to throw out a thought in the meantime, women that I've dated seem understanding about diapers incontinence . The fact that they deal with a form of incontinence once a month might make them more inclined towards empathy here. It sucks how the method of potty training we experience as children instills such shame in those of us who become incontinent later on in life.

[BabyAndrew]

Hey guys, I think these are really good posts as I have a really big problem with self confidence as well. It is hard for me to go out with my friends anymore because I am terrified people will find out and tease me/ look at me in a different light after.

[babytommy1981]

I feel more of a man, letting poeple know i wear diapers, then from hiding it from them, for along time i kept the fact i need to wear diapers from alot of my family, and friends. because i felt they would put me down as in saying im disabled or something. when i built up the nerve to say that i have to wear diapers because i have lost control of my bladder, they were there for me and told me hey it happens its medical, how can we help.

when im out and i need to change my diaper, I will ask a store clerk if i can use the rest room, to change my self, if they say no. i leave. when i ask I say i have throw away bags to put the diaper in. 80% of the time i get an ok. but I have been told im sorry i cant let you do that. now if i use a public rest room i just change and walk out of the stall and put my diaper in the trash can. and smile at the poeple who give me dirty looks. a couple of times i say stuff like just be glad you dont need to wear one.

talking to your friends and family about needing to wear and having to wear diapers, helps build up self confidence, you also need to say to your self your not alone. as you dont know if the person next to you inline at a store has the same problem or not.