New Here - With A Question

[JamesR]

Hello everyone. I have read this forum for a while but never really had a reason to register. I'm just the typical (for this site) guy who likes to wear diapers.

<br>

This past weekend I went on a date that left me with some questions I need help on. So I figured that I'd sign up.

<br>

A friend of mine set me up with a girl he had gone out with a long time ago. They are still friends and he thought that we would hit it off. I'm not a big fan off blind dates, but he promised me that she was hot. So I agreed. We met up at his house and all talked for awhile. She was really good looking (tall and thin, just how I like them). We then headed out on our date (I took her to eat Cajun food). After some good conversation and a few beers she asked me if my friend had told me what she did as a part-time job (in addition to her day job). I told her no. She asked me not to freak out until after she explained, but she is a Dominatrix. She quickly explained that she does not have sex with her clients, ever (which was my primary concern). We talked about it for a few minutes and then moved on to other subjects.

<br>

At first it didn't hit me, but then I got to thinking about me in diapers and her a dominatrix... this could be fun!

<br>

We left the restaurant and walked down to a bar that I really like, had a few more beers and played some pool. She then asked me how I felt about her job. My only question was if she enjoyed to do the Dominatrix thing in her personal life, or just for a job. She said that does enjoy it in her personal life also. I had a few beers in me so I decided to give her a little hint that I'm into something a little different also. I told her that the Dominatrix thing could fit in nicely with my life style. She pressed me for more information, but I absolutely refused to give any more information. I explained that I really didn't want our mutual friend to find out about my interest but would tell her if we went out a few more times and hit it off. She finally said that she understood. And, she did agree to a second date when I asked.

<br>

Ok, so now for the questions:

<br>

1. Do you think that her being a Dominatrix makes her more likely to accept the diaper thing? It seems to me that it would, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

2. Would you risk having a friend find out about your fetish for a chance to find someone who would accept it? It would be devastating to me if my friends found out.

3. In my situation, how long would you wait before telling her?

4. Any other advice is welcome.

[BriGuy]

Chances are she may already have experience in that realm. My experience in the bdsm arena has been a positive one towards my Abdl side. If u do decide to tell her there is no real way to keep it between you and her, that's just failth that she won't tell. That said most individuals involved in s and m are very respective when it comes to privacy. If I were you I'd have told her while playing pool! That lady you met sounds like she can be a LOT of fun!!!

[loopy]

1. Do you think that her being a Dominatrix makes her more likely to accept the diaper thing? It seems to me that it would, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part.

2. Would you risk having a friend find out about your fetish for a chance to find someone who would accept it? It would be devastating to me if my friends found out.

3. In my situation, how long would you wait before telling her?

4. Any other advice is welcome.

1. I'd certianly say she'd be more open to the idea of it, just because shes in the buis, and is kinky her self. Its not 100%, but better then with a vanilla person.

2. Unsure on this one, why would she tell?

3. I'd say the 2nd or 3rd date, alot sooner then most relationships, but only because shes already told you about her kink.

4. Go for it, you've got a great chance to find someone who'd be at the least accepting of it. But really, you should see if you click with her on a "normal" level. If it all goes well, you could be in for some fun times .

[night0wl]

Hi JamesR,

That's an interesting story. I think you may be on to something here. I shall attempt to answer your questions as best I can.

1) I would say she is definitely more likely to accept it. Sadly there can be no guarantee about such things but I'd say she's most unlikely to freak or consider a diaper fetish so waaay out there she can't deal with it.

2) Me personally yes, I definitely would risk it, but thats just me (my best friend already knows). The subject of coming out or being outed to friend comes up here a lot, and the advice always given is "look at what you hope to gain, and what you risk if it backfires, is it worth it?". As everyone's friends and circumstances are different, only you can decide if the risk is worth it. From what you've written though, she doesn't sound like the type who would blab something like that - I'm sure she knows how that feels herself in her line of work! And if your buddy dated this girl for a while, surely he's relatively open minded himself. Anyways, that ones up to you

3) You've already taken the first step and told her that there is something, and she wanted you to tell her more. Considering how open and frank she has been with you already about her work, I'd say tell her as soon as you feel comfortable with it. As I said above, I doubt she'd freak, worst case; she tells you she's not into it and doesn't want to try it. Although much like 2) this is ultimately a judgment call only you can make - but what you have written sounds promising at least

4) Keep us posted how it goes, and best of luck!

[ppbenn]

Go for it live a little.

1) I have not had a lot of involvement with doms, so I don't really have to anything to say on this other than what has already been said.

2) My close friends know and lucky for me they don't judge. If your friends truly respect you it shouldn't matter what you're into as long as it does not hurt anyone.

3) Myself I would have told her after she told me about her thing. That way I could make her feel more comfortable about telling something so personal. So I say on your next date. Tell her you have been thinking and you want to share your kink with her because she so open with you.

4) See the first line. Other than that please keep us posted. It sounds like you have some very good times ahead of you my friend.

[darboy]

If you know any ab/dl's in the area set her up with one then ask her how her dom job went that week with her clients if that's what she calls them. That will give you your reaction that your looking for.

[packrat]

JamesR:

What an interesting scenario! You did mention that this was her part time job (dom). With that in mind it is probaby useful to note that her expertise is provided to clients. You are involved romantically or it seems that you wish to be. Given that, a Dom/Sub relationship might undermine your desire, if you truly have one, to become involved at a different level.

You could just play this out without being specific as to your fetish and explore with her how she might perceive your relationship to change if you actually engage in the dom/sub relationship. My guess is that the voyeur in you sees this as a great opportunity. Just be careful that continuation of dating is done honestly. Aside from a part time job and your fetish, she is owed the respect as an individual to be honest.

Finally, I would not trust anyone to keep your secret. If others finding out is critical to your self image, my advice would be to remain silent on the matter entirely. And, if you choose to cast your fate to the wind, it sounds like it could be a pretty exciting ride. She may even need someone to help her perfect her professional skills.

Rat

[Guest 13obalicious]

Your going to have so much fun.

BDSM girls are usually pretty open. I met one a few years back who was on the submissive side who is still the best friend I have ever had. She confessed first of her fantasy of being tied. It didn't take long for mine to follow suit.

You must be very excited?

[curiositykilledthecat]

Go ahead and tell her, what's the worst thin she's going to do...spank you?

[JamesR]

To my surprise, she called me last night. I hadn't even given her my phone number, I got hers and was planning on calling her tomorrow or Thursday. She called our mutual friend and and asked him for my phone number.

<br>

At first I was impressed and happy that she went through the trouble to get my number and call me. But then she told me why she called. She had been thinking a lot about our date and what I had said. She told me that "she had some concerns". Oh no.

<br>

Ends up that she was worried that I am wanting to be a full time submissive. My comment about my "life style" and her dominatrix stuff made her think that I lived a submissive life style 100% of the time. She explained that she enjoys being in control at times, but in general she wants a man who acts like a man. She does not want to be in control all of the time. She seemed very relieved when I told her that I had never been submissive in a relationship, but was interested in exploring that role on occasion. I told her that "life style" was probably a bad choice of words, I have more of a Fetish. She tried to get me to tell her my secret, but I still refused. I told her that I would tell her everything on our next date. She agree, and then she asked me to go to dinner with her tonight! I agreed.

<br>

So I guess tonight is the night. The date is hours away and my heart is already beating a thousand times a minute. I've decided to go ahead and just tell her everything. At least I'll know now if she can accept the whole thing or not. Wish me luck!

[diaperlad]

Lucky you! Feel happy for you! Tell us what happens....

[night0wl]

Good luck! Let us know how it went

[diaperpt]

Good luck! Let us know how it went

Yes, yes, yes! We'll be waiting...

[JamesR]

I am pleased to report that last night went very well!

We went to dinner. Shortly after sitting down she was just starring at me. "Welllll" she said, "let's hear it". I fumbled around a little and then just said "I like to wear diapers". She seemed a little surprised but not astonished or put off by it. I could see that she was thinking about it in her head and then said that it was much better than some of the things she thought I might say. I ended up giving her the whole explanation on the difference between an AB and a DL, I consider myself a DL who dabbles in the AB world at times. We ended up joking about the CSI episode with the AB character. Later she said that she could see how my fetish could work with her dominatrix side, as I had said on our first date. I was in disbelief sitting there talking about it, she seemed genuinely curious and open to it. The conversation then drifted on to other subjects.

After dinner we went to the upstairs bar and had some of the Mexican martinis this place is famous for. This loosened both of us up for some more talk about diapers and such. She again mentioned that she didn't want to always be the one in the dominate role. I assured her that I would be quite dominate most of the time, even if I was wearing a diaper. This seemed to make her feel better and we started talking about different fantasies we had. Most of mine included diapers of course... some with me in diapers, some with a woman in diapers and some with both of us in diapers. She had the same fantasy that most women seem to have about a rape scene and about being dominated, plus a few about her in the dominate role. I ended by telling her that if things worked out between us I would participate in every fantasy she had described. She said that she would do the same! OMG! We were doing more kissing than talking towards the end so we decided to leave the restaurant.

We talked a little about her staying at my house but decided that wouldn't be wise as we had already decided to wait a while before we had sex. I couldn't have asked for a better second date! And we started making plans for a third date. I was honest and told her that I have a date scheduled on Friday night, but would cancel it if she was available. So hopefully I'll see her again on Friday.

[loopy]

You lucky son of a bitch.

Seriously, Great news good to here its going well .

[curiositykilledthecat]

Excellent news, keep up the good work.

[tris]

See what happens when you try? Good show, and good luck!

[Backindiapers]

Ahh just what I wanted to hear!! I love good news. I was captivated by the story as soon as I read it. Good job and DON'T rush it or push it on her. But then again you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. Congratz!!!

[JamesR]

Not sure if anyone is interested, but thought I'd post a follow up to this.

We went out on Friday night and again on Sunday for lunch. Things are moving along well. Neither of us are particularly looking for a relationship, but are both open to one if the right situation comes along. Personally I'm thinking this is looking more and more like that kind of situation, but I'm in no hurry. I would have to stop dating someone else who I really enjoy spending time with and have a lot of fun with.

Anyway, the date on Friday night was just a normal date (no fetish stuff). I took her to see Avatar at the IMAX, then out to dinner and finally to nice overlook park that has a great view of the city. I then invited her to come over on Sunday to watch the Superbowl with me and some friends. She showed up early to help me set up (which I really appreciated). When she first arrived she wanted a tour of my house as she hadn't been here yet. The tour was normal until we were leaving my room and she asked to see my diapers. It took me by surprise but I was more than willing to show them to her. I opened the drawer to my bedside table where I keep some of each handy and pulled out an Attends, a Secure X-Plus, and a Bambino Classico. She picked each of them up, felt them and opened them a little. She made a comment on how she thought the Bambinos were cute... I told her that I had already ordered some in her size for her, she just smiled and said ok (yea!). Nothing else interesting happened, except the Saints winning (Booo!). If it wasn't a work night I think I would have asked her to stay over.

Let me know if anyone wants to hear more as this progresses.

[Horndog]

At least you're making progress. Keep up the good work.

[JeiSiN]

Ahh, to bask in the beam of happiness of another board member.

From experience, try not to take it too fast; hope she wasn't taken aback by you telling her that you already ordered some her size! I could be wrong, but given that you aren't 'officially' dating yet, could be taken the wrong way.. Or, it could be taken as you being 'the man' and taking initiative... but the thing with the diapers is that it is weird to people initially; even for someone who is a dominatrix, but only at first!! Hell my girlfriend was considerate when I told her of me being an AB (I'm big time AB, just wearing a diaper is boring to me ) and she diapered me the first night I told her. She was cool with it and thought it was cute, though a few weeks later she was questioning a lot about it, read stuff online, and one time got into a weird mood swing and tell me that maybe I should consider some mental help (girls say ridiculous things when they are mad don't they?) EDIT: But of course that was long ago.. now things are beyond amazing and its in.fucking.credible.

But anyways, maybe she'd be really interested if you tell her about considering your AB side with the dominatrix 'punishing' you for doing something bad, and being very stern and spanking you, telling you you are whining like a baby and teasing you to talk in babytalk and beg for a pacifier, and a diaper, and progressively go through the power of regression. by incorporating it with the emotions attained through the domineering that she is used to, maybe she'd be right into that? Who knows. Throw shit out there! Then again, being a DL, I guess you'd find it pretty cool to be tied up to a bed with handcuffs and forced to wet your diaper, the black whip and everything... that's somewhat interesting to me too, as escaping will only inevitably lead you to some new interests, and new INTENSE emotions which could be argued as being the true meaning of life. Oooooh yeah, get ready for the ride amigo.

It sure is good to hear from another lucky fellow. Whose next my fellow board members?! WHOOOOOSE IT GONNA BE?! Wake up.

-JeiSiN

[TBlazer]

DING DING DING WE HAVE A WINNER

Haha seriously man, you must feel like a million bucks. Isnt it great when the right one just falls into your life like that?

So ya, it sounds like you know what you are doing, and she's definitely into you if she's showing up to help set up a superbowl party. Seems like if shes ok about you ordering her diapers, then she's in the mood for something new. Make it blow her world. Fuck ya dude, enjoy life.

And I CHALLENGE anyone to beat me to the next post like this. Fuck this loneliness crap, the world is turning and it's like so many of us here are just waiting for someone to hold out their hand and invite us for the ride. Ain't gonna happen, not now, and definitely not 20 years down the road.

This will be my last post until I have something positive about my relationships to share-enough of these depressing "how do I find an AB girl" posts. Thanks for the inspiration and positive vibes.

[JamesR]

@JeiSin

I also hope I didn't put her off by telling her that I already ordered her some diapers, she didn't seem concerned about it though. I had planned to wait to tell her about it until we were at the point where I was going to get her to wear one, but when she said they were cute I just blurted it out. Later I wished I had waited, but she since she did already agree to wear one I don't think it was a big mistake... I hope.