Morally Gray Area

[superjon]

So I told my new GF about being a DL. I started telling her about that "thing" I do, and that I didn't know what her reaction would be. I didn't go into specifics, but decided to drop the subject after feeling she would be cold to my fetish. Later on, we went to bed with her still unaware of my fetish. In my great wisdom, I figured I'd get up after she was asleep, diaper myself, go back to bed and let her find out. Sounds stupid eh? well, I did it anyways. Of all the women I told, she reacted the best. She didn't care at all. 10 minutes later she was caressing my diapered butt.

It was only later I understood my situation... she thought I was a bedwetter. I tried to hint at her I wasn't, but the message was unheard. So as we were talking, I figured I'd play along. I told her I only wet occasionally (like 3 time a month), but that whenever I wore a diaper, I had troubles controlling myself, awake or not(which is kinda true). So now I wear diapers every night and during naps. I keep them on until several hours after getting up and use them freely in front of her.

So now, I'm wondering if I did the right thing. Obviously it could be more right, but I feel I'd hurt her by telling her the complete truth. She is really happy with her current situation, so am I. What do you guys think? This situation is awesome, save for the little guilt I'm feeling from lying to her.

[Repaid1]

Simply your not lying yet, you just have yet to tell her the whole story. I have had great...and I mean GREAT success with the opening you have given her so far. Things may change when you do, but in my vast experience..probably not. She get's the diapers and that is a good thing. Now you just gotta work on .."the rest of the story"...If however you are happy with things the way they stand..then..perhaps you are living a lie. However it's been my perspective that not telling and doing behind someones back..then them finding out is a much worse consequence. So take it from that..keep us updated.

[aarondiaperboy]

Just be careful about the truth, but I would have probably been way too honest about it. I wish you the best of luck.

[curiositykilledthecat]

hmm, gotta figure your treading dangerous waters.

[dl_ashlee]

I think you should clear this up ASAP, at this point you can still pass it off as you being nervous and that you don't have bladder problems, but were to nervous to tell her right away.

DO ASAP!

[SassyGirl]

I definitally think you need to let her know that its more then just bedwetting. Just be honest with her considering she was okay with you having to wear because you wet the bed on occasion I'm willing to bet she'll be okay with the full story.

[Guest YkDave]

im in the same kind of boat as you...

Recently got together with a new GF and as far as 'coming out' i just cant seem to muster up the courage to tell her the truth. i want so badly to try and 'break the water' by using a bedwetting or other excuse, but eventually she has got to find out the truth, and where does that leave you, a liar and you can guarantee that isnt going to help things!

Best thing to do would be to try and break the truth to her ASAP, the longer the lie continues surely isnt going to make the situation any better. but who am i to speak

[Aurelius]

It was only later I understood my situation... she thought I was a bedwetter. I tried to hint at her I wasn't, but the message was unheard. So as we were talking, I figured I'd play along. I told her I only wet occasionally (like 3 time a month), but that whenever I wore a diaper, I had troubles controlling myself, awake or not(which is kinda true). So now I wear diapers every night and during naps. I keep them on until several hours after getting up and use them freely in front of her.

You should definitely feel guilty about this... The longer you leave it, the more that dishonesty is going to wreck it. Get to it right now. Now, goddammit!

Approaching it sensitively and honestly, covering everything you need to as calmly as you can - face to face - is really the best way to do this. Particularly if you have an understanding that is mature (but not too much or it will be seen as dishonesty). You must not leave this too long (more than a few weeks is the tipping point from here).

[diaperpt]

hmm, gotta figure your treading dangerous waters.

oooh...don't diapers protect against that??

[Diaper Lightning]

yea, should get to the whole story, but have wisdom in it. I tried my best and things havent turned out the way i would want- but at least i am in honesty. I think she would be understanding of the "Sorry, there's more to diapers for me than just prevention." Especially if she padded you down it seems that she doesn't have diaper stigma much. Be calm, be cool, don;t freak out that you may have "lied" - I rec that you just start sharing more of the story. Thats my 2 cents, take it or leave it, but let us know what you do and what happens.

[Loveable_guy]

And at some point in your relationship she is going to grow concerned and ask you to see a doctor.

Yep, been there done that got the tee shirt to prove it.

You better come clean now or plan on major problems later.

[FretaBWet]

They gave you a tee shirt for seeing the doctor about incontinence? I knew I got cheated!

Hugs,

Freta

[adriansurley]

Yeh you gotta be honest - just tell her - she sounds understanding

[ppbenn]

I agree with everyone here. Please keep us updated on what happens I think she will be cool with it no matter what. Good luck.

[tris]

So wait. . You lied about being a bedwetter and having control problems?

If that's the case, and you don't actually have those issues, the question to be asked is, How long and hard will you have to work to HAVE those issues? I mean, it takes a little bit of training and effort, but, your story would cease to be a lie the second you made up your mind to BE a bedwetter and BE a part-time pants-wetter, too. Am I right? I mean, you could come clean, or, you could just roll with the punches, come, and let HER clean you up! (and put you right into another dry didy, ja?)

My two devil's cents - -

[superjon]

not long actually. It happened to me before. I wore diapers to bed a little too often and started having accidents. I just started retraining myself to be a bedwetter to give some meat to my story.

She already knows I kinda enjoy diapers. Its just the bedwetter part that's a lie. I mean, I've told her about the emotional comfort they give me, that I knowingly wet them during the day after waking up, for convenience. I even told her I had wet a couple of times while we were cuddling. The lie isn't that big. What I'm planning to do right now is to become a bedwetter (why not?) then let her slowly realize how much I actually enjoy diapers. As far as telling her that pleasure is my sole reason for wearing them, we'll see later.

Thanks for the answers guys(and gals)

[Pollyanna Fleshman]

Simply your not lying yet, you just have yet to tell her the whole story. I have had great...and I mean GREAT success with the opening you have given her so far. Things may change when you do, but in my vast experience..probably not. She get's the diapers and that is a good thing. Now you just gotta work on .."the rest of the story"...If however you are happy with things the way they stand..then..perhaps you are living a lie. However it's been my perspective that not telling and doing behind someones back..then them finding out is a much worse consequence. So take it from that..keep us updated.

I agree with this. Honesty is always the best philosophy. I have the attitude that if someone cannot accept me for who I am, and that would include my feddishes, then who needs them? My thinking is that if a person really loves you, they'd love all of you. So yes, be truthful the whole way. You won't regret it.

Now, in some instances, I do believe that some white lies are fine, like to protect you of sorts. However, I feel that if you are with someone or planning to spend the rest of your life with that person, then I'd be completely honest with them. Basically, there are certain people who will know the whole truth, and others that will not.

I will pray that this whole thing works out for you. Please keep us updated. i'm interested to hear what happens.

[diapers4liz]

Its always better to tell the truth. Sooner or later she will realize that there is no such thing as a 3 time per month bedwetter. Its like pregnancy...either u are or ur not...lol I do hope things work out for you.

[sarah_ab]

Its like pregnancy...either u are or ur not...

wait wait wait.. now hold on jsut a minute.. you're telling me i can't be just sorta pregnant?

[AutieAB]

I'll be honest with you (and the rest of the forum ) here

When I was a fair bit younger and lot more naive and when I was at the start of my first 'real' relationship, I tried to 'come out' as a DL. I failed miserably and we ended up with a lack of clear understanding between us that was much the same as the one you've just described. In my stupidity naivety, I allowed her to maintain the belief that I sometimes had some control issues from that day on. I never set the record straight. It was a stupid mistake that grew from me not having the balls to say "no, you're mistaken, it's a comfort, relaxation and somewhat sexual thing". I tried to a couple of times to set things straight but never managed it because I was too cowardly to admit that I'd been lying all that time. In the end, it was definitely a contributing factor in the end of the relationship when she started to work out for herself that I probably hadn't been entirely honest back then.

I rectified my error with my next partner and made damn sure I fully disclosed all the facts right from the start, no matter how buttock-clenchingly difficult the conversation was. That woman is now my wife

Tell her the reality of the situation now while you still have the legitimate reason for your mis-truth in that you were scared and didn't know what/how to tell her first time. If you don't and she finds out down the road, there there's the potential for serious damage to your relationship...

[ArtemisEnterri]

Its always better to tell the truth. Sooner or later she will realize that there is no such thing as a 3 time per month bedwetter. Its like pregnancy...either u are or ur not...lol I do hope things work out for you.

Uhh, I got news for ya, my wife (who has bedwetting problems) can sometimes spend a whole week (and in rare cases a whole MONTH) without an accident...

The downside is that she NEVER wears any form of protection (mostly because of my interests in wearing, which she fully knows about and hates) so when she does have an incident, the entire bed is soaked (sometimes 3 or 4 days in a row).