To Move Or Not To Move

[babyfur]

SO recntly my big brother and I found a daddy on aby. com one who would be interested in adopting both of us. The only problem is while we live in texas, he lives in maine. Right now I'm trying to make a decision about do I really want to leave my hometown to go live with this guy? I have very little to keep me here in texas(a few exes, my family around whom I have to pretend to be straight, a very small number of friedns(I have a large group of acquaintances but very few people make it into my inner circle and are called friends)) but it's just enough to make leaving hard. We've already arranged to meet this guy, he's going to drive down here in april to meet us. I mean he wouldn't drive 2031.69 miles to meet us if he weren't serious would he?

When we meet him I already have a list of questions to ask him, will he get an std test, if something happens to one of us(knock on wood) would he be able to support us financially/medically, what sort of family background does he come from, etc, etc. I am also considering would I be able to support myself if this didn't work out a year from now.

If you were in my postion would you take this oppurtunity? note: I have already made it clear to him that I will have a job and I will continue my education, as well as contributing to rent utilities and all that, otherwise I'm not his son, I'm a kept boy for a guy with an ab side. And I refuse to just be someone's live in boy toy.

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

Having been around a while and seeing the kind of people that are "out there," I always tend to lean toward the side of caution before extending too much trust in people I haven't yet met.

All I can say is be VERY careful.

Make sure you have a 'proven' physical address before just up and disappearing from friends and family. I know there's quite a distance between the two of you but my inner gut still makes me uneasy on the matter when you haven't had the chance to meet in a safe place first; even then you never know. There are some pretty sly customers out there.

I mean he wouldn't drive 2031.69 miles to meet us if he weren't serious would he?

Well, yes, one would tend to think that, but people have done wierder things.

Just be careful, huh?

Oh, and if you've never lived outside of Texas, Maine is absolutely gorgeous, but you're in for a surprise come winter.

I sincerely hope this works out for you, but have wheels and gas money, or at least bus fare stashed away just in case it doesn't.

Good luck

***HUGS***

Ruffles

[Bettypooh]

have wheels and gas money, or at least bus fare stashed away just in case it doesn't.

And have it where you can get to it anytime you want it but nobody else can- a tall order in itself! That someone would drive so far would seem rather special- but do you know for sure that they didn't need to be down your way anyhow? You don't really know this person- they could be a serial killer or slaver from somewhere else fishing for people like you And don't say "but they seem so nice" or "I'm sure they'd never do it" because it always seems that way- if it didn't they would never 'catch' their targets

If it were me and I wanted to try anyway, I'd drive up there myself on a vague schedule so they wouldn't know exactly when to expect me to show up- if they're for real they won't care about that at all. If that bothers them they are hiding something I'd also be sure that they knew that I was in close touch with someone who would know where I was going; someone close to me that I talked to on the phone at least every day or two who could initiate a police investigation if I dissappeared I'd become a camera phone fanatic, taking and sending enough pics to that friend who was keeping up with me so that someone would be able to find me and would be able to prove that this guy was involved Things aren't always how they seems to be and someone who really wants to do this with you will understand that you need to know that you're safe and always able to leave anytime you want to. Maine is nice but I wouldn't want to risk being snowbound for a week with a psycho in a remote cabin. If he wasn't living within a short distance of a town where I could always walk to for help I wouldn't want to stay with him- I'd get a place of my own in the nearest town and let him come live with me until I knew everything I could about him

In the world of unusual interests live the very best and the very worst people. The good outnumber the bad but that's no guarantee. You have only one life so don't play games with it-protect it at all costs. Someone who really cares about you will understand and help you do just that because they don't want you to be hurt either

Bettypooh

[DiaperBoyKR]

^ Agreed. I think this is definitely an opportunity that you should explore, but be very careful about how you proceed in doing it. Make sure you meet them before you do anything about it. I would actually suggest a trip up to Maine to visit him as well before you move up there. If you're going to be working up there, make sure you find a job before you go, and as Ruffles suggested, don't allow a situation to develop where you don't have access to your car keys or bank account.

I'm not going to say that the guy you are talking to is a bad guy or whatever, but as with anyone you meet on the internet, you just need to be careful. From what you said you plan to do when he comes down, it sounds like you've started down that path....just try to stay there. Stay in touch with your family. Make sure they know exactly where you are.

I hope everything goes well for you!!!

[rusty pins]

I agree. I'd make sure that you and your brother are together when you meet this person. There is safty in numbers just in case. I would also first visit this person's home before agreeing to move. You want to make sure it's in a good location and big enough to suit your needs. I would question if he owns the house with all the forclosures going on. The last thing you need is to be out in the cold because the house has been forclosed on. Now, is this person going to compleatly support you and your brother? If so, I would want to know how secure his job is and how long he's worked for that company. Way too many people are losing their jobs. Will you and your brother be expected to help out with expensis or get jobs? If so, I'd want to make sure to have a job lined up before quitting my job in texas and moving across country. On the other hand, if you and your bro are going to be his babies and he is going to be your daddy, what will you be doing when he's working? What rules will there be between you and him? I agree it's prudent to play it safe and have some means of leaving and being able to get back to Texas if things suddenly take a turn for the worse. I would also suggest that you do not open any joint banking or savings accounts or give this person control over your money or power of attourny, etc. Role playing or leading a complete AB lifestyle is one thing but you always have to have an emergency back up and the means to carry it out if things don't work out. That advice is good for everyone to follow, not just you and your brother. Good luck!

[babyfur]

he says he can get me a job up there(I still want to know I have on before I give my boss my two weeks) and he lives in a town, it's called dexter, fairly small with only 3,890 citizens according to the 2000 census. small enough I guess, that I wouldn't feel as suffocated as I do in houston but still big enough that I can be pretty sure they're not all inbred psychopaths who would turn me back into daddy if I tried to escape

but seriously he does seem to check out, background check is clear good credit, no police record except for a few parking issues and moving violations and a drunk and disorderly from when he was about my age. He claims to have taken care of 3 other babies in the past and to have some furniture, baby beds and a high chair to be exact.

He's renting out a room in his place right now(which he owns) but that guy'll be gone soon supposedly. and if not we just have to confine our fun and games to private rooms.

[Teddy Bear Brian]

You mentioned you had a list of questions for him. Why not ask them NOW? Also see if you can get in contact with these other babies see if he will give you some contact details for them. I think it sounds fishy.

[hazardouskink]

as others have said, be careful... but also remember that as much as we're into our fetish (in your case, AB) others can be into theirs. So if we're willing to give up some pretty decent circumstances to live life as we want to its completely conceivable that someone else would share that desire. its rare to find, but there ARE folks out there who get just as much satisfaction from providing as we do from 'serving'. (i use that word loosely, lol)

i knew a gentleman who was interested in putting me up free of charge to be a bit of a diapered slave. i knew him well and were it not for the airfare to germany where he was stationed i would've gone thru with it. the key is having enough info to trust that you'll be (at the very least) safe. the finances to have a bit of a cushion should there be a disagreement is also essential. if one day your interests (or his) change you'll be needing other accommodations. since he's had 3 'babies' already you have to wonder how long his engagements are valid for... plan to be stable enough to move out if he wants to welcome a new baby into his home.

play safe and be happy! congrats!

[diamondback6881]

I can't say much else other than to echo what everyone else has said.

It is worth repeating to make sure you have some cash stashed away somewhere only you have access so you can up and leave if things get scary. At least enough for bus/plane ticket home.

[babyfur]

as others have said, be careful... but also remember that as much as we're into our fetish (in your case, AB) others can be into theirs. So if we're willing to give up some pretty decent circumstances to live life as we want to its completely conceivable that someone else would share that desire. its rare to find, but there ARE folks out there who get just as much satisfaction from providing as we do from 'serving'. (i use that word loosely, lol)

i knew a gentleman who was interested in putting me up free of charge to be a bit of a diapered slave. i knew him well and were it not for the airfare to germany where he was stationed i would've gone thru with it. the key is having enough info to trust that you'll be (at the very least) safe. the finances to have a bit of a cushion should there be a disagreement is also essential. if one day your interests (or his) change you'll be needing other accommodations. since he's had 3 'babies' already you have to wonder how long his engagements are valid for... plan to be stable enough to move out if he wants to welcome a new baby into his home.

play safe and be happy! congrats!

Those other relationships(i spoke with those guys btw) ended because they didn't want a relationship, they wanted a daddy but no real committment, no romance in the relationship. I want that and I really think this could work out. I will of course be safe about it. The guys that I talked too said he's an awesome daddy completely devoted to his babies needs and within reason their desires, you just have to want a relationship too.

[Cid]

by the way I may be confused and just mixing up your name but is this the same brother that you where asking if you should be ask if he is a DL or not?

[sarah_ab]

ok maine is absolutely gorgeous, i know i'm from there....

i lived there for 22 years, and had never heard of dexter.. its THAT small... i had to mapquest it..

a few things about maine, you are pretty far from the nearest 'city' which is only large because its a university town.. quite a good university as well. But you are going to be living very rurally, 3,000 people doens't mean they are living in a cute little small town.. its means its a HUGE land area, and the people are quite spread out.

Small town maine is not very liberal, so its not going to be a cake walk, for two younger guys to suddenly move in with another guy in the middle of no where.

Find out where this job is, how far of a commute from dexter it is going to be, what town the job is in, what type of job it is, for what company, if its for this gentleman's company, i would be highly suspicious, and would say no, i'd rather find my own job. for a few reasons, if you work for him, live with him, and are apparently going to depend on him for medical and financial support as you stated was one of your questions, he essentially has control over your life..

and while it may be a fantasy to let someone have control, you always need an out.. a way to get away in case things get to much for you, and giving this man all that control is not a good thing..

also, pay the 9.99 to order a background check, find out who he is, and what kind of record he has.

and research this town more than just looking up the census report, see if it has a town webpage, realize that the nearest big town, nearest airport, nearest decent hospital is an hours drive away, an hour may not seem much, but in maine, its gets real rural, real isolate real fast..

also really look into the weather, its not pretty in winter in maine whic is anywhere from october first to may 31... LONG cold snowy windy, icey, isolated winters!!

I'm not saying this to scare you away, because i do hope it works out and its everything you wished for. However i think you really need to do some research and long hard thinking about this before you just jump into something.

[DailyDi]

I would arrange a two-week or so visit. Make sure you are comfortable with the situation day and night for a while to get a better idea of it it's a life for you.

[Yvhuce]

Call me paranoid, but I wouldn't even meet one of my internet friends from the past 10 years without at least one family member along with a gun, just in case...

[hazardouskink]

Call me paranoid, but I wouldn't even meet one of my internet friends from the past 10 years without at least one family member along with a gun, just in case...

and that is why i oppose gun laws. why the hell would you need a firearm? just having another person to support you is all you should need, assuming you've taken care of background checks etc like sarah wisely suggested.

no need to be paranoid, just cautious. and for chrissake dont bring a gun.

[babyfur]

by the way I may be confused and just mixing up your name but is this the same brother that you where asking if you should be ask if he is a DL or not?

no this is my big brother in the sense that this guy wants to be my daddy. ie he's my pretend big brother. I found out what he does he's retired but works at home doing tech support for microsoft, so he's home alot but he might just put us in the play pen for awhile when things get realy busy. I laughed at him last night, turns out he's scared of ricky, my big brother. Ricky is a little more bold about this and he's made it his lifestyle so he'll definitely have to tone it down a little. Daddy said that we could do things like playing outside in the backyard though(he's got it fenced in so no on would see us) but as for pushing us in a stroller(like my big brother wants hi m t do) that's not gonna happen.

I asked daddy a lot of my questions last night including some really tough ones like "how much of a factor was my age when you decided you want to adopt us" he fielded all of my questions really well just answering as best he could, and that last one really got him flustered. he was honest though which I really appreciate. I do intend to go up there and check his place out ot see what it's like fo rmyself before moving in with him.

He strikes me as an unusual type of daddy, he's controlling yes, but he keeps in mind that we're still adults and that we do need to have some freedom of our own.

@sarah I've been doing lots of research on the town and on my daddy and done just about everything short of calling some of the people who live their to ask them about him. I have no problem with the isolation, in fact I personally welcome it. I hate the cities, this one in particualar. I would welcome this oppurtunity even if it meant moving to mars. and I'm convinced that if everything continues to check out I will go through with this.

[Bettypooh]

and that is why i oppose gun laws. why the hell would you need a firearm? just having another person to support you is all you should need, assuming you've taken care of background checks etc like sarah wisely suggested.

no need to be paranoid, just cautious. and for chrissake dont bring a gun.

I disagree about your take on guns because I wouldn't be here to write this were it not for the presence of a gun in my possesion. I didn't point it or use it-it was enough for the drunken idiot to know that I wasn't going to be his target and he was big enough to have kicked the sh!t out of 2-3 unarmed people so the gun made all the difference in the world Now having said that in this case I would agree that having a gun along may not be a great idea unless you already have it, always keep it handy, know how to use it safely, and most importantly know how to keep it secured safely at all times If someone else gets your gun it's twice as bad as not having one if you need it in the first place A gun untouched and unknown does nothing by itself- it takes a human to change that. One of those changes comes when it becomes known that you have a gun- for me I don't care, but for a lot of people it might worry them, or make them angry that you didn't 'trust them' enough so you brought a gun along. That's especially true if they were drunk or not thinking clearly Don't go out and buy a gun thinking it will keep you safe- it won't You have to keep you safe, gun or not. And a gun is simply a last-resort tool to help you do that to be displayed(and god forbid used) only when there is no other alternative whatsoever. A gun is a huge reponsibility and if you're not positive that you can handle that responsibility 100% of the time then don't own one.

PS: I hope this thread doesn't get drawn off-topic on this subject alone

Bettypooh

[Lil_Miss_Ruffles]

Well said Bettypooh

[diamondback6881]

Sarah gave you excellent advice. I hope this happens for you, Babyfur.

and that is why i oppose gun laws. why the hell would you need a firearm? just having another person to support you is all you should need, assuming you've taken care of background checks etc like sarah wisely suggested.

no need to be paranoid, just cautious. and for chrissake dont bring a gun.

I'm a little confused by this post.

You oppose gun laws(Which means you don't want gun laws.), yet you don't understand why someone would need a gun?

That was very well said, Bettypooh. I couldn't have said it better myself.

[tris]

I say do it. Blindly. I already think you're a nutcase, and anyone who wants to take charge of another person (let alone, two!) in these hard times is also a nutcase -- you'll be PERFECT for each other!

I'll keep an eye out for you here: http://www.thedailyme.com/Obituaries/obits.html

Blessed Be -

[hazardouskink]

dang, tris... i thought i was being harsh. that stings to me, and i'm not even involved!

[Yvhuce]

by the way I may be confused and just mixing up your name but is this the same brother that you where asking if you should be ask if he is a DL or not?

Yeah... This topic doesn't jive with your previous topic.

and that is why i oppose gun laws. why the hell would you need a firearm? just having another person to support you is all you should need, assuming you've taken care of background checks etc like sarah wisely suggested.

no need to be paranoid, just cautious. and for chrissake dont bring a gun.

I'll take a gun where ever I damn well want to... Especially when meeting someone who could be a F-ing psycho! I'm 5'1 and not in the best of shape. My brother's tall and scrawny, and my dad's big and fat. Between the 3 of us, we could probly take any normal guy. I took my dad and 2 other guys who were bigger than me, because I was defending myself and fighting to survive (I don't even remember one of those fights, just being hit and then standing over the other guy who was laying on the floor crying). But a potential wackjob (especially if they're one on drugs) is well out of our physical abilities. These kind of people can resist a group of police officers, for God's sake! Now, I'm not saying that we meet them with guns drawn. Just that my brother or dad comes along with either my grandpa's .48 or the mini-14, just in case the person turns out to be a dangerous individual. We don't play with guns. We also don't play with our own lives or those of our kin. If someone is treatening you or your kin, their life is forefit. Fortunatly, the law agrees with us on that.

[babyfur]

@Yvhuce: no this guy is my brother in the same way some pople on here have mommies/daddies, he's not a blood relation to me(or any relation for that matter) but in this little fantasy of mine, he's my big brother. Old enough to help take care of me but not to old too play with me and all that fun stuff. He's my big brother like this guy is(hopefully) our new daddy.

[Marcus23]

I will say no matter what It seems like its somthing you gotta try. If this is somthing you really want to do and think it could work out good. You have to give it a go because if you didnt id think it would be a huge regret.

I will add I agree with everyone else smart and slow is the way to go.

Wish you the best of luck

[tris]

smart and slow is the way to go.

*snicker* This here gets my vote for quote of the year!

Everyone, quick! Grab the nearest retard and get to it!