Ellie Jean

Welcome aboard Pippa! ? By sheer coinkidinky, I'm ALSO "trans"...and I've come to hate that term...as well as "MtF" lol smh. ? I started transitioning a year ago; my "anniversary" is on February 1st. ?

And I'm back again lol. ADISC blows. ?

...Gawd I luv this way too much LOL. ?

Or not...I dunno...I suck at makin' my own choices lol. ?

...I'm kinda doubting they exist. ...My rules are kinda impossible. ...Might hafta compromise a lil. ?

So I went to a local bar Wednesday night to meet up with a local group of kinky friends on Fetlife, where I met a young mommy/daddy dom couple a few years older than me. Within about ten minutes, Mommy told Daddy that they were totally kidnapping me, then told me that she's my Mommy now, making her fiance my new Daddy by default hehehe! They were specifically seeking females only, but ALSO transgender females, because Mommy has a thing for futanari lol. .....There's just one thing that makes me a little nervous: I think they probably want me to be a sexual AB...and I'm not, generally speaking...I don't wanna be used as a sex toy...but I don't wanna risk losing my Mommy and Daddy either...maybe I could get into sex for them? ...I dunno...I'm sexually confused. ?

My gender therapist told me that exact thing our very first or second session together over a year ago lol; said he might steal that as a suggestion for some of his other trans clients lol. ?

I'm an AB because I'm transgender; I just never realized it growing up because nobody ever talked to me about that kinda stuff. But I do indeed love how diapers make my hips and butt look and completely hides any sign of my...ahem..."princess parts" lol. ? Although, I voted "No" because I don't feel like diapers make me look more gender-neutral/nonbinary. I feel diapers make me look MORE like the GIRL that I am. ?

I had SO MUCH FUN during the Toilet Paper Crisis lol. All my friends and family know I wear diapers 24/7, so I was always joking with them how life hasn't changed for me at all lol. "Yes, you all laughed at me! Well WHO'S LAUGHIN' NOW?! Mwahahaha! ?" #UNAFFECTED! ?

This tutorial has English subtitles; no actual speaking involved. It might be easier to translate the steps into German:

No prob lol...I might write out a waaay more detailed version of that day in the future...like, you know, once I've RECOVERED and am willing to relive that shit. ? ...Halloween 2021 was essentially a real-life "Forced Sissy Baby Humiliation Story" from start to finish lol. The kind I would totally read and fantasize about! ? ...The REALITY of being forcibly feminized is definitely not for the faint of heart. As the old adage goes, "Be careful what you wish for!" ?

Lol...I had to clean it up A LOT. ? Connor's mom had a crappy phone camera...and apparently, didn't know that she wasn't supposed to use the FLASH feature while standing next to a BONFIRE. ? ...Light was bouncin' offa stuff dat light was NEVER meant to bounce offa lmao. ?

...What happened was that pretty much everything that could go wrong, DID go wrong.The day started with mom taking me shopping for hair accessories and some thigh high stockings, (which as I told her from the start, weren't going to work on me), and...well...she wasn't exactly quiet about the fact that they were for me...and I was trying to present as a boy at that time...so she ended up inadvertently publicly humiliating me in the women's lingerie department of Wal-Mart. All the nearby women were smiling and stifling giggles and sizing me up and dressing me down with their eyes...it was TOTALLY mortifying. I felt myself getting emotional like I might have a panic attack or emotional breakdown in the middle of the store, so I just stared up at the ceiling to try to suck the tears back into my eyeballs, put on a brave face and pretended everything was fine.Mom had been wanting to give me a makeover for a while, but I'd always been too nervous to let her, because I'm pretty sure she's never put makeup on anyone but herself before, let alone any boys lol. (Turns out she hadn't; she let me in on this little tid-bit later on in the middle of doing my makeup.) So I decided I'd take her up on her offer this Halloween, and weeks in advance, I found a facial feminization makeup tutorial that was only ten minutes that I wanted her to study a little bit, but she kept procrastinating and putting it off until the last second, and then the day of Halloween when she finally agreed to look at it, she immediately said after a minute of watching it that she didn't have the items required in any of her makeup kits...which was why I wanted her to look at it weeks ago.So, on top of that morning's public humiliation, I was probably going to be publicly humiliated again while out with my cousins because I probably wasn't going to be able to pass as my target gender as well as I had originally planned because mom couldn't be bothered to actually look into what the hell I was talking about. Mom just used a little concealer on my face, a little bit of blush and a little mascara on my eyelashes. I did look better, but I still thought I looked like a boy and was terrified of going out like that. Oh well though! I wasn't gonna let it get me down! I wasn't gonna chicken out, I wasn't gonna pout an' cry, I was just gonna put on a brave face and hold it together and try to have fun anyway! Trick or Treating was gonna be awesome regardless! ...At least, so I thought.See, my cousin Marlaina was planning on dressing as a Catholic School Girl, and her husband Connor was planning on dressing up as a Catholic Priest, so with my outfit thrown into the mix, we were going to look like a Priest with two sexy little girls LOL. It was gonna be HILARIOUSLY offensive; we were really gonna shake up the locals hehehe...buuut...they ended up not wearing those costumes. I only realized that after I had jumped into the car and realized that I was the ONLY one dressed ridiculously. ...Suuuuper awkward.ORIGINALLY, I thought we were going to just tootle around the neighborhood in the car, smoking magic flowers and trick or treating at lit up porches as we went....buuut, it turns out, we were going to a fucking BLOCK PARTY with Connor's mom instead. When we pulled in, there were several dozens, if not HUNDREDS of people...children and families flooding the streets, trick or treating at stations set up at houses....I kinda freaked out.I told Marlaina I couldn't do this and that I just wanted to stay in the car...but she gave me a super heartwarming pep talk, said I looked great, told me about how she helped her other trans friends conquer their fears and doubts and yada yada yada...blah blah blah...so...I figured I'd just shove all my doubts and fears deep, deep down...got outta the car...stared up at the stars, sucked my slowly building tears back into my eyeballs so that nobody could see how terrified I was (technique I've learned since the hormones started making me cry at the drop of a hat)...put on a brave face.Sooo...we weren't ACTUALLY going trick or treating, it turned out...we were just gonna hang out with Connor's parents at their Trick or Treating station. They were giving kids the option of making smores at the sidewalk bonfire thingy, or taking candy and going along their merry way. A lotta kids were interested in getting smores....before my cousins and I showed up anyway. Connor wore his normal clothes, but with a 5 dollar afro. Marlaina was wearing green Christmas pajamas with a Santa Claus hat and fuzzy blanket. ...I was wearing pink and white skirtalls with a pink onesie, white knee high socks and white slip on shoes, with a white cardigan blouse thing of my mom's that reached down the same length as my frilly skirt, which was poofed out with a petticoat tutu I was wearing over my pink onesie, which was holding my cloth diapers and plastic pants in place. With my hair and makeup...I was quite the sight...and I very much so doubt that it was in a good way. ...Got some mean looks from Connor's dad. ...I think he blamed my appearance for why nobody was wanting to get smores anymore...because my cousins and I stayed by the fire pit because I was freezing my legs off.....gotta lotta weird looks from kids and parents all night. ...Some of mere confusion. Some of disapproval. ...Some of outright hatred.Ugh...It was AWFUL. ? Oh gawd...and Connor's mom took a picture of me by the fire too. I saw that phone coming up to her eye level in slow motion, knowing what was about to happen but being too petrified to do anything to stop it from happening because I didn't want to look as self-conscious as I was feeling so I just looked away and tried to act casual instead of hiding my face in my hands. ?

...I don' wanna talk 'bout it quite yet. ?

I've been gone for a while... Quick recap: I'm an asexual/demisexual AB, not a DL, I'm 26, autistic, and I'm a girl, who was raised as a boy, been on HRT over nine months. @Emily Ruby Rose is my cuzzie lol. ? ...And Halloween was kinda awful this year. ?

He was on drugs at the time LOL. XD

Hehehe...gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "poetry in motion" lol. XD (That's a poop joke! ?) ?

Oh goody; I thoughtchy'all woulda have a good laugh over it. My condolences to your ears, and your brain, which will forever have this wretchedly bizzare song seared into it's subconscious, mwahahaha! ??? Oh good god; READING the lyrics is even funnier LOL: "DEPENDS" BY BLINK 182 I don't want to urinate on myself I don't want to urinate on anyone else Well, I guess that really doesn't matter anymore Because I can't control my bladder anymore Well, I guess it all depends (Undergarments) Well, I guess it all depends (Undergarments) Step back in the light No more soiled nights alone But I guess I don't have a care Because there's not a load in my underwear I'm sick of offending everyone I meet (go, go, go, go) I'm sick of crying myself to sleep on rubber sheets (go) I had an accident today I left a soil on a bus seat, I didn't know what to say But, I guess it all depends (undergarments) Well, I guess it all depends (undergarments) Step back in the light (go, go) No more soiled nights alone Well, I guess that I don't have a care if I Don't have a load in my underwear

Omg wtf?! How have I never heard of this?! ?

Shots are scawry. ?

Omg I want one lol. XD

No takers? You've forced my hand! ? Africa Now get out there and find me some more Adult-Baby-Friendly-Music! Hehehehe. XD

I'm getting an orchiectomy in the not-too-distant future so that I can quit my testosterone blocker (spironolactone) because the potential side affects make me nervous lol. Here's all the more reason for it! Thanks for sharing! XD

I want a changing table that doubles as a spanking bench; pretty much all my dream baby furniture would have some BDSM elements lol.

Bohemian Rhapsody Your turn! ?