New2DL

I agree with everyone here so far. Acceptance isnt always easy, but its definitely the healthier route. The best tips I could give you right now is stay active on this site. Develop your own support system. It's always better to have that support in person, but if you can't find that then a forum is certainly better than nothing at all. It's also an option to seek out a therapist to learn ways on how to accept yourself and accept that not everyone will be able to understand. It's also true that you likely will not be able to quit. Eventually you'll give in to wearing again, which will make you feel much more guilty. This guilt will pile up, and as Elfy said, you may resort to something extreme as a result. You're punishing yourself for being who you are. Right now you're becoming a victim of abuse, except you're your own abuser. Just because someone didn't understand doesn't mean it's wrong. A lot of people will assume that you're a sexual deviant, or even a child rapist, if they're not properly prepped with information. It's just a natural assumption that one would make given the lack of information. Many people will sort of prep their significant other through idle conversation for quite some time before they break the news to them. That way when they do, the person will be more apt to understand and accept it. And if not, then it's just not meant to be. And you're not risking being alone forever. Not at all. You will likely be spending more time single, as you will have to be a little more picky about who you date. Which all in all is not a bad thing. It's good to be choosy about who you let in, but it's bad to create an indestructible wall. And there are tons of people out there who would accept and possibly even participate. I know for a fact that quite a number of people on this site are happily married, or in stable relationships. I'm actually an example of one of those people. I didn't know anything about the DL side before. I'd known about ABs from studying psychology, but that's really it. When my boyfriend told me a couple years ago that he's been a DL as far back as he can remember, the thought of sexual deviance or child molestation couldn't have been further from my mind because I knew him well enough to know better. After a LOT of talking and asking questions, I was able to understand fairly quickly. It took a little more time to fully accept it, but after a couple months I did. Then I got curious and tried it for myself. And here I am a couple years later wearing a pull up this very moment, and I couldn't be happier and our relationship couldn't be stronger. I'm by far not the only one with this experience, but I'm here to tell you that they're out there. You just have to stay patient and keep looking. My boyfriend spent a pretty long time staying single because there was no one he felt that he could really trust or relate to. And he didn't want to waste his time on someone that wasnt worth it to him. But patience and persistence does pay off. It can be a tough road leading up to it, but in the end it will be worth the travel. But whatever you decide to do, just make sure you don't just toss this side of you into a dark corner and lock it away and leave it to rot. It will mutate and fester there. Everything needs nurturing. If you want to try and "get rid of it" although I still don't recommend it, you need to figure out a way to do it without mistreating that part of you. Don't think of it as shoving it angrily out the door. Give it a hug and say it was nice knowing you, and say goodbye... if that makes sense. I don't believe it will work, but if you're going to move forward in that direction, do it calmly and without resentment or negativity. If you do, it will come back to haunt you with a vengeance. No matter what road you take, neither will be easy, but only one has the potential to result in true happiness. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck. And I'm so sorry to hear that you've gone through something so hurtful. I cant imagine how you feel right now, but I hurt for you. Just know, that somewhere out there, there IS someone who's looking for you, and who is capable and willing to love you. The question is, will you be able to love yourself by the time that person arrives in your life?

It depends on what you're looking for and if you're paying attention to prices. Sometimes i can get current popular products for about the regular retail price, or less. Some people will buy them real cheap at thrift stores and sell on ebay for a profit, and it still can be cheaper than an online store. But most of the time when we order on ebay, it's for vintage diapers that are no longer in production. Don't get me wrong, we don't go crazy and spend loads of money on a couple of diapers. We wait for a good deal that doesn't break our financial morals, so to speak, and we get to experience good quality diapers from our pasts again. Makes a lot of sense. You do definitely get the feeling that they're trying to share something good with others who will most likely appreciate it. I guess I probably would do the same now that I think about it. Well that's good to hear that this isn't the only genre that's known for sharing products.

...That ABDL (or just diaper collectors) on eBay are in general a lot more friendly and even generous to their buyers than anyone else? I mean, tons of times when boyfriend and I order diapers off eBay, there's a good chance the seller will throw in something extra as a surprise. Whether it's scented packets, or plastic undies, or just a different brand of diaper than what you ordered as a free sample. And sometimes what they give away is actually really good! That's how I came to find one of my favorite diapers. Sometimes they'll even include a little hand written note in thanks for the purchase. I mean, try ordering any other genre of products from any seller and you're probably not going to get free stuff as an added bonus, or a personal thank-you. Wonder why that is. Just curious if anyone else noticed these things.

Hey friends! So I'm kind of prepping myself for my first messing experience. Ive been a bit curious about it for a while, but I have a couple questions first before diving in. One is, does anyone have a favorite diaper specifically for messing? Mostly I'm wondering if just because a diaper works for wetting, will that mean it should work the same for messing? Next question. I'm on a prescription for some physical issues, and one of the main side effects is it makes me constipated. So I poop like every three or four days, regardless of how much fiber I eat. Bad, I know. So does anyone know of any tips to be more regulated, aside from taking laxatives and having it burn? Last question. I remember reading somewhere that you can take a suppliment or something to help it not smell so bad, but can't for the life of me find where I read it. Any ideas on what that could be? Thanks very much in advance for any input!

Whatever the root of the situation, that's a common association abdl's have with diapers. Especially when it comes to male sexuality, because at the time your mind is on nothing else but pleasure. I know a guy who sort of became "addicted" to wearing diapers for sexual purposes during a difficult time in his life for that exact reason. The "addiction" typically calms down a bit when stress levels calm down, or if you find a variety of ways to cope. But that's just the sexual part. Wearing for reasons other than sexually is often typically associated with the calming sensation. It's a physical release of ones' inhibitions in a sense. Letting go, being unrestrained, a sense of freedom in a way. It's one of the few things in life where you can decide that for yourself, to completely let go and not hold back. Whereas in every other aspect of life, we're constantly holding ourselves back socially, mentally, emotionally, sexually, etc. for one reason or another. Be it legalities or social norms or whatever. So for some, the idea of un-potty training can be very appealing for that reason.

Here's a bit of what I gather. For one, masterbation makes perfect sense for people who were bed-wetters. It may have happened too far back for you to remember, but basically you most likely learned to masterbate in a diaper. Because of the physicalities of diapers, it's going to feel much better than not having one at all. And I'm not an original DL. My boyfriend turned me on to diapers about six months after we were dating. This is the case for him, and I'd have to agree the feeling is much better. It's just our primal nature, even a monkey would agree. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, it's really nothing to beat yourself up over. Easier said than done, I know. But try and take comfort in knowing you're not the only one. I'm assuming your scenarios with resorting to diapers stems from something farther back than you may remember as well. Especially considering the fact that what you do remember from your childhood and mom's boyfriend is traumatizing. Often times people resort to diapers under stressful circumstances because, whether it be conscious or subconscious, it takes you to a place in your mind during infancy, where the world was once new and wonderful and safe. It brings back those feelings of comfort, like a security blanket. Your therapist will probably brush over something similar. As for why you plunged into diapers for emotional reasons after what you thought was rejection from your therapist when normally you use them for sexual purposes, well that's kind of loaded question. First of all, you really put yourself out there when you trust someone, even a therapist. Feeling rejection after that can in and of itself be somewhat traumatizing. And if you're one to have trust issues, then this would bother you even more and it would make sense that you'd revert to something like this. Also, in feeling rejection, it could very well have resurfaced old feelings from your childhood of rejection and judgement from those who were supposed to guide you through life (your parental figures). Being that your therapist has a similar role as a guide that your mother and mom's boyfriend should've had, this could be an easy trigger. It's nothing abnormal at all for someone who went through the kinds of painful things that you went through. Coming from someone who has been abused and neglected throughout child and teenhood, I know all about trust issues and how much it can damage you when you start to let your walls down and you end up getting hurt instead. Being that you were already a mild DL to begin with, and that you were wearing during the day as a child but werent sure why, it only makes sense that diapers were a security blanket to you. But don't let any of that discourage you from opening up to the right person for the right reasons. When you find someone worth trusting, it's a wonderful thing and well worth the wait. Not really sure if this kind of reply is what you were looking for, but I hope it did something anyway.

I would have to agree here. Sure there are ways of being anonymous, but if you're not certain about what you're doing, there's always someone out there smarter than you when it comes to security and anonymity. Especially with the level of persistence in not taking no for an answer. Not a good idea. And phone numbers are INCREDIBLY easy to track. Especially if you have internet on your phone. Now you've left yourself vulnerable for being hacked. I would say definitely don't speak with him over the phone. And if you're going to have him buy diapers for you, treat your level of anonymity as though your life depends on it. Because it very well may.

Hey sweetie. I've been a little caught up in things lately so I haven't been in touch for the past few weeks. But I was just thinking about you and wanted to check in and say hello. I hope you're doing alright. As far as how to tell a girl, I would suggest dating her for a while first, just to make sure that you're right for each other. In my opinion, it's much better to establish a foundation to the relationship before breaking news like this to somebody. My boyfriend waited six months before telling me, although he planned on waiting a year. Some people wait longer, some people do it sooner. It just depends on when you feel it's the right time, and when you feel that the relationship is ready to move to the next level. A lot of people try to "prepare" their significant others for a handful of weeks (or more) before breaking it to them. They usually try to drop hints here and there, strike up conversations about the ABDL community to try to get a feel for how their significant other might react, and to try and get them used to the concept before telling them. This method didn't work for me because my boyfriend wasn't very good at manipulating conversations. Haha But it still worked out in the end. After that, when the time is right, really you just sit her down, tell her you love her, and that there is something very important that you need to tell her. When you do tell her, you need to ask her to just listen to everything you have to say before she does or says anything. It's very very important that you explain WHY you like diapers. If she doesn't know why, it can be possible that she'll assume something terrible out of a lack of understanding. So it's very important that you tell her Why. When you tell her, you need to make sure that you're prepared to tell her everything, without holding back. It's also important that she feels comfortable enough to ask questions, and that you answer as fully and honestly as possible. In the months leading up to this, it's a good idea to try to establish good communication in general so that when it's time to have this talk, you'll be able to do it effectively. This conversation can continue for days, weeks, even months as she's coming to understand your fetish. You both will need to feel comfortable and safe to have lots of open discussions about this to help her understand and accept it. The more you can have open discussions, the better everything will turn out. So it's necessary

WARNING - This topic will probably lead to some very personal and potentially graphic conversations that will probably

This is very true. This won't work at all without lots of communication, and from both sides. It's not just about you telling her everything. It's also her opening up and asking questions. And vice versa. In a lot of cases the id and ego both play a role, at least with this type of sexual gratification. Often as a child it starts as impulsive and primal, just doing what feels good, but becomes integrated into ones' sexuality, personal identity

I agree with Babyqtboy. A lot of how you plan your next course of action depends on how deeply you've talked about this in the past. I'm guessing

It's never too late. Thanks for the advice!

Aww anytime.

Okay thank you ...actually I can't find it on either of those sites. Abuniverse doesn't have bed pads at all, as far as I can tell.

I've been having trouble finding an online store that sells polyurethane bed pads directly. I have found several brands/companies I'd love to try, but all

Hmm... I don't know how this would work in terms of trying to subliminally prep up your significant other for "the talk" by introducing those scents to the bedroom, but it's certainly worth a shot! But otherwise, yes I'd definitely say those smells can turn you on. Especially if you were one of those bed-wetter cases who incidentally started masterbating in diapers/pull ups etc as a kid, and you remember those smells in that environment. The sense of smell is the most powerful sense associated with memory. My boyfriend and I are more on the DL side of the spectrum, but we decided to add a couple of those baby powder/oil elements to the scene. Just to try something new. Neither one of us personally remember those smells associated with masterbating.

Starting from your very first memory of being in diapers up to present day. What is your all-time favorite diaper, and why? What keeps you going back to your favorite, and what makes it better than any others you've experienced?

Umm... I'd hardly consider this being self absorbed. As I stated in the beginning, I haven't tried many products in this particular department, which was why I mentioned that I was unsure if my unpleasant experience was just due to the quality or if it's just not my thing. And if it's not my thing, then I don't see the harm in asking for suggestions to have a more comfortable experience.

This sounds pretty normal to me. Maybe the

Ha! I just read this to my boyfriend. Initially he sympathized and said how awful