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Anyone have any theories about how diaper wearing might be related to childhood experiences? I'm about to discuss this with my therapist for the first time and just want to have an idea of what I might be getting into. I little background: My mom was an addict and her boyfriend a jerk. I saw and did some awful things when I was a kid. Mom's boyfriend liked to humiliate me in order to boost his own masculinity. I wet the bed until I was about 11 and that was his biggest thing. Sometimes I had diapers, sometimes my sister had extra diapers (she was a baby, so I only used hers if I knew there was enough), sometimes I'd put a towel between my legs to try to prevent the bed from getting wet. My mom rarely helped me clean up from it and her boyfriend really tore me up about it. He caught me a couple of times using diapers during the day (I wasn't sure why I did it then, all I knew is I wanted to) and really rubbed my nose in it. I've always been very ashamed about it. I left the home before puberty and my life got much better after that. I continued to wear night diapers for about a year because I was still bedwetting and in that household they were a non-issue, they were bought and put in my room without comment, sheets were washed without comment, gentle reminders to not drink too much before bed. Nothing bad there. After I stopped wetting I had about two packages left (I think they were goodnights or something similar) and I kept them in my closet "just in case." Occasionally I would get into them for sexual reasons - wet them then masturbate and then feel ashamed and consider throwing them all away. When I moved into my own place I considered buying adult diapers a few times just to experiment and I often read on these boards and watch videos online, but I've never been brave enough to buy anything until last week. Last week I admitted to my therapist that I trust her and have feelings for her (not sexual, like care-type feelings). She responded good at first, then she recommended I try a different type of therapy with another therapist. I'm going to her for ptsd issues and it is very very hard for me to trust people and talk about my past and it hit me really hard that I admitted I cared about her then she threw out the other therapist idea. I felt like she was trying to push me away or get rid of me. It felt like really shitty timing and that same day I walked into a med store and bought a pack of adult diapers. I've been wearing them whenever I'm home since. I've only used the bathroom about once a day since then (at work). I didn't put this together until a few days ago when she emailed me and apologized if she upset me by suggesting another therapist - she apparently intended for me to continue with her, but see someone else for just a specific technique. I was too mad/hurt to respond, but I was sitting there in a wet diaper and thinking - did that just push me into diapers? Before now it's just been a sexual thing, once and a while when I want to get off and then I have no interest in them for a while. It's different now though. It's comforting kind of. Distracting maybe. I kind of wonder if the combination of my therapist stressing me out and also that we're bringing up so much of my past is making me revert to them as some sort of security. TLDR: Bad childhood, bedwetter, occasional DL... Therapist upset me, ptsd treatment, suddenly have an overwhelming desire to diaper all the time. Anyone had this experience or have some input? I'm going to talk to her about it if I can work up the courage, but I'm trying to at least somewhat prepare myself for what might come of it.