Baby Kitten

^ snorts spaghetti in hopes of suddenly learning Italian

That's exactly the way I see it, too. Faith is to be a belief in your heart and something you should be choosing out of freewill. However some evangelists in religions tend to use fear in the work of trying to suck others in. (At least from my experiences) I've had several things I've been through in life that haven't been really pleasant, perhaps it's ignorance theat makes me shun the idea that God has helped me get through those times. Maybe He did, maybe He didn't. My life recently (since the beginning of this year) is in an extremely fragile place at the moment and so I guess I'm just trying to find myself back on that plain I was just a few months back. I've been suffering incrediable panic attacks lately and I seem to be frightened for them every day after I'd been having so much progress. At this stage saying to myself "I'll get through it like always" I don't really believe. I will someday, but honestly, whether it's through God or just my own mental will-power, I don't know. I'm just taking it one day at a time and hopefully I'll find that relaxed happiness again to be myself.

^sleeps with a potato under the pillow believing it attracts the Potato Bug Fairy.

Welcome around, tommy. It's good to hear you have a supportive and understanding partner, like dragonmaster just mentioned. It is very few these days. Welcome around, and have some fun.

Honestly, none of those. I still hold my spiritual V-card.

Seat

I don't have any of my Barbies left, but I know someone who still plays with them and collects them at an age older then me too. However, I do still collect plush toys, but everyone knows that, I don't keep that part of me secret from anyone. Besides, I can't understand how anyone can resist them! LOL. They're so adorable. I also sleep with a teddy still that some know about, and I rock myself to sleep to music or the radio most nights. Or days actually, I tend to be a night-owl, and it's 2AM here. It's easier to keep intouch with my friends overseas this way, plus I have their timezones memorized. LOL

Nope, wouldn't do it. Not even for revenge on some of the very few I hate. My biggest morals stand on trust and respect, and my biggest pet peeves are betrayl and backstabbing, and telling someone's personal business such as something like that, definitely falls under that categorey.

Very well explained and advised, stoyan. Some of that advice, I might even use myself. Off-topic, but it's good to see I'm not the only Adelaidian here. LOL.

Like many have said, honey. You're certainly not alone. We've all felt that way at least once in the past. It's a daunting thought, but nothing to be really afraid of. We're always around to talk if you need support or advice. Welcome, and know that everyone here knows/has known exactly how you feel. ((HUGS))

I just had a glass of UHT milk, and there's a 4-pack of orange Bacardi Breezers still unopened in my room. Usually, they're drank the day they've been bought, but for some reason, I can't bring myself to consume them at the moment, they been there for about four weeks now, too.

^Invented the accordian drinking straw

LOL. Unfortunetely, I'm still too poor to even afford $99.99. But I'll keep it in mind if I get struck down by some incurable disease.

I'm studying Judaism (wow, there seems to be very few Jewish people here. LOL) to convert at the moment, however I wasn't really raised anything. My father always claimed he was Jewish, but me being adopted, and Jewish faith being passed on through the mother, I didn't exactly fit that blood line. Then afterwards, we found out that about 98% of the tripe my father claimed was just that, worthless tripe. When I was about 6, I remember going to a few Christian church services with my mom. That didn't last long however when the minister decided to play "excorcist" on my mom and accuse her of being the daughter of the devil because of her mental illnesses. Some of my mom's family are Jehovah's Wittnesses, meaning my Aunt, her youngest daughter, and my grandparents and for a little while, I got sucked into that cult because it was a "family" thing. I basically was just trying to follow along with them because a )I was pretty much living with them 90% of ther time when my parents were ill, b )I respected them as MY family more than my parents so I wanted to be just like them, and c ) I was 7. When I was in my early teen years, I had Christian friends and to feel accepted by them, I gave it a dabble too. When my daughter was born (I was a teen mother) I named her Faith on a spur of the moment thought. After a while, I found that really, no matter what I did, Christianity didn't really do anything for me. I didn't feel "centered" or "connected" with "their" God, so I did not see the point of worshipping someone I could not feel at all. However, when I discovered Judaism from a close Jewish friend of mine a few years back, something in me clicked with that, emotionally, and I decided to pursue it. Over all though, I respect whatever religion people decide to follow, I'm not an evangelist, and I don't go around saying "If you do not follow MY God or MY religion, you are going to hell." Do unto others as you would have do unto you. I wouldn't expect someone to force their beliefs down my throat, so I will not do the same. I also don't believe there's such a thing as the "right" religion either. I believe if you're Christian, Muslim, Atheist, Agnostic, whatever you decide to believe in, don't let anyone ever tell you it's wrong. The name of Faith, is there for a reason, it stands for and by personal belief. Besides, when it all comes down to it, do we really KNOW what exactly is the "right" belief? Do we really KNOW these things exsist for us when we die? No, not really. But our own faith tells us there is. If it is true what the entire bible says (both old and new testament) then God wants us to find him, so really, these people like evangelists, Jehovah's Wittnesses, etc, forcing them into doing something because of fear ("you'll burn in enternal damnnation!") or threats ("you won't make it to heaven/paradise" if you do not follow The Truth") is pretty much pointless and not doing what God intended, which is finding him via our own hearts, our own beliefs, and our own faiths. That being said though; I still think that no matter what religion you follow each and every day; as long as you treat living kind alike with courtesy, and you do things with good intentions that do not harm yourself or others, then I don't see what the issue is. I think life (or in some cases, the afterlife) depends on how you LIVE it, if you live a negative life, you're going to have a negative outcome, if you try to live a positive life with a good heart, chances are, you're going to have a good result. What goes around comes around I think. You reap what you sow, and you sow what you wish to reap.

Nikki, I know exactly how you feel. I'm new to this site too and am here for pretty much the same reasons as you described. I think mainly what it is, before you start worrying what others think about it, it's what you think about it. It's more self-acceptance first. Sort of like, homosexuality a little really. That's the way they are as people, and being AB/DL is the way we are. It's a little daunting at first to think it may not be "right" and I think at some point, it's made us feel a little guilty or even terrified. (I know I have) I just think that just because it's "different" doesn't mean it's wrong, nor does it mean there IS anything wrong. I still live at home with my parents, and I still wouldn't dare tell a single soul around me that I enjoy being an AB. Then again, with the people I know, there's actually reasons for the fact I'd never tell them. Most of them are very judgemental, and some of them are even youth workers who I've been working with for a few years. Because of my parents mental illnesses, they're quick to jump the gun and place me in the "crazy" categorey. A few friends of mine are also in the entertainment business, and as much as I love them to death and trust them with my own life, there's not a chance in hell I'd breathe a word to them. It's sort of like a silent enjoyable activity that you keep mainly to yourself. Like still collecting plush toys, or being almost 23 and still playing with Barbie dolls because it's fun. It's something YOU enjoy doing, but it doesn't mean the rest of the world needs to know until you, yourself are ready to say something to them. You might find some of them more accepting than you think, or, if they don't, there will come a time once you accept it within yourself where you won't care as much, if they can't accept you for something as small as a personal fetish, then it's their loss. I wouldn't push someone away just because I happen to like rap music and they like techno, so I should expect the same treatment from them. But believe me, Nikki. You are certainly not alone in feeling what you are feeling. I'm going through it too, just maybe not in the exact same terms, I think in some way, I've accepted it to myself to a degree, it just might take a bit to finally make the decision whether you want to be yourself and enjoy being yourself, or not. With that said though, we're here for you if, and when you need us. ((HUGS))

Hi Roxy! Welcome to DD.

War is hell.

^^Got kicked out of Jenny Craig support groups for eating a sugar cookie

Torn

Burn

Bore

Hi robehouse. I'm not sure if it was DPF I was a member of a little while back, I sadly wasn't there long and I cannot remember which site it was. However, I recognize the name so I may have stumbled across it sometime in my travels across this wide web of ours. So I may be familiar with it. LOL. Welcome to DD. I'm new here too

Welcome Tsu, I'm also from the mid-west, sort of. I was born in Michigan. I'm just a little older than you too, and also new. I hope you'll enjoy it here, I have at the few days I have been here, and I prefer playing baby too.

From the time I first signed up to the site until today, I now have my own computer, so them finding anything is nothing to fear, fortunetly. My parents barely know how to switch a computer off let alone get into my files, and they certainly won't be nearing my computer, they have their own. So all is well. And yes, thank you, I'm so happy to find I am not the only one. When I was younger I thought it was something to be ashamed of and something to fear about myself because it must not have been "normal" I'm not sure if you're a AB or a DL, but did you ever play those games with your friends or family where you were babies? I did with my cousins most of the time, and I found it fun and enjoyable, when I got older, I still found myself wanting to be in the same fun, and comfortable time. I guess that's when I discovered my love for it, but it scared me thinking it was wrong. I'm glad to know it's not now, and I'm not the only one who finds it just as thrilling and lovable. I have lived on my own before, I recently have only moved back in with my parents because I suffer from Anxiety Disorder (I have panic attacks) I attempted to move out a few weeks ago, but it didn't work out because I ended up with a series of them. So, I ended up back at my parents, and it looks like for a little while, I won't be going. As for it being nice...well, I'll just leave it there. My mother is not the easiest person to get along with, nor defend. LOL. Oh, another thing I should have added into that little bio. Be warned; I tend to like my paragraphs a lot. In RL, and online. LOL.

Bats