tcc

What she said. So many issues got brought up, and it shows how divided the "community" is. However, while there are those bound and determined to try and legitimize their leanings, urges and desires by "coming out", and perhaps, to try and garner sympathy and support by "proving" just how soft, gentle, and well, "baby-like" an AB is, so-called "normal" society is simply NOT going to accept, try to understand OR understand the motives, the wiring, the general scope of the AB or DL. Nor is society going to view it as harmless and "just their thing" with so many issues at issue with the world of the AB. Over time, the more it has been "out" and the more it has been sensationalized, I have seen little movement away from pure uneducated ignorant disgust and toward acceptance or "acceptable adult behavior". With the degree that diaper fetishism has sexual overtones, it can be treated like many other facets of the sexual arena between consenting adults - what goes on behind closed bedroom doors should stay behind closed bedroom doors. YOU may feel better having the world know you're an AB and want to live your life that way - most have the reality of the real world and adult responsibility staring them in the face, FIRST - but have a little consideration for OTHER PEOPLE, who may not be so comfortable with your softer, gentler, infantile side! Poor Stanley. Right. It was one thing to present that part, that side of himself, and the life he leads. It's another to not consider all the ramifications of doing so, including helping or hurting "the community" as a whole OR the fact that his "lifestyle" is supported by tax dollars, of which there may be some who simply don't agree with funding such type of lifestyle - regardless of the legality or why it is happening - or outright reject it. Many will feel the sting of rejection by virtue of mere connection at a distance with Stanley, and many will feel that they, by virtue of being in the same community, have been hurt, and "the cause" set back again. As LuvsGurl said, keep it private, keep it quiet, and I add, keep it purely consensual, and you're not going to have a problem. Jam it down someone's throat or present it to those who don't want to know about it or have it presented to them, and you're asking for condemnation. That, is the world of today. And, more and more, for those that feel they have way too much jammed down their throats or are being asked to accept way more than they feel they need to, there is going to be resistance. Too many do not see that and then feel the world is against them when it happens. Too many have their eyes "wide shut"...

If my underwear disappeared, I'd survive. I'd either not wear anything at all - leading to "streaking" in my pants (um, don't ALL guys end up with "skid marks", unlike women? LOL) OR just continue to wear diapers and maybe more than I already do. As a DL, and not an incon, you'd think I WAS an incon with as much as I'm in diapers. I'd figure that if my Fruit of the Looms disappeared, the Little Woman, and Love of My Life, who already accepts and encourages my DL side/life/world, was going a step further and making sure that, to keep me in line, or soothe her jealousy issue (with other women perhaps wanting to encourage me to "stray"...), it was diapers full time. Not that it would bother me, as close as I am to that as it is. And, I'd enjoy it, even more than I already do. The next step would be to see how I could do away with HER underwear, and join me! LOL

"I've been dating this wonderful girl for > 1 year, and things have been going great. Except, however, with diapers. Don't get me wrong, she's much more accepting and indulging than most girls; as long as I keep HER satisfied with plenty of vanilla sex, every month or so I'll get baby time (diaper changes when I'm wet, stories, bottle feedings, etc.). She even wears them every once in a while (not really a DL but she likes the attention and every once in a while it turns her on, but very quickly she finds the diaper to be too hot and uncomfortable). Given this, WTF is your problem? OMG. You didn't get kicked to the curb - you didn't say HOW you revealed to her or when - and she indulges you. Your problem, Dude? Problem is, as she tells me, she doesn't "understand" it. She doesn't HAVE to understand it. She already humors you and indulges you! What MORE do you have to have. Guys would give up BODY PARTS to have what you have, but for you, it's not enough. Um, you need to start a gratitude list to refer to every morning... She does it with me because she knows how much I like it, ...and you want what ELSE more? but is sort of confused by the whole thing. I think it's just the weirdness of seeing me as a normal college-aged guy one second then a baby the next; the transition is admittedly a little jarring. She also thinks my watching videos of boys in diapers is kind of weird, but I've tried to explain to her how lots of male AB/DLs do it because we imagine ourselves BEING that guy and getting turned on by the diaper, not the man wearing them. Um, maybe watch videos of FEMALES in diapers, or, maybe, given what you've GOT, don't screw things up and just don't watch videos at all? Maybe she's a little worried about you being gay or something she CAN'T handle? "So I guess I turn to y'all out there to ask: how can I get her to understand/accept it more? With what you HAVE, you need her to understand MORE or accept MORE? Are you kidding? OMG I'm so grateful that she just didn't totally freak out about it and I think it's AMAZING that she wants to play along with me even though it sort of weirds her out. Besides pointing her to sites like BitterGrey's den, what do you think I could do to help her better understand this important part of my lifestyle?" I reiterate, it's not for HER to understand, nor does she have to. And, if you want her in your life, you need to balance what you HAVE and what you think you NEED. As I said, guys would give up body parts to have what you have, even a little bit of that. But, for you, it's not enough. I guess people don't appreciate what they have until it's gone. Dude, you pretty much have it all. Isn't that enough? Oh, yeah. Bragging about what you HAVE, apparently not... Some of us don't know WHY we are how we are or HOW we got to be that way. A great many of us don't really care. It really doesn't matter as it isn't really "fixable" - without a lot of time, desire, dedication and money - and it really isn't a life threatening situation to like to wear diapers and use them. They are absorbent underwear. They are a legitimate product, with a legitimate use, and are not illegal, immoral OR fattening. Some of us are truly comfortable with who we are and how we are. I strongly disagree the "just give it time" idea. Many in our community "hope" a partner or significant other will "someday" just "understand" - whatever it might be we would want them to understand. We are either proactive, and lay a solid and reasonable groundwork for others in our lives, or we need to go back to the drawing board, get to know and become comfortable with OURSELVES, and THEN move on to revealing to and incorporating others into our lives. It sound hard and clinical, but time after time after time, people act so helpless and adrift, and seem so sad and without hope. It's tough, but it's doable, and the more we help ourselves, the more we HELP ourselves...

Yes. Everyone is welcome to share everything all the time - except out of control HNGs and Trolls - who nauseate even those with the hardiest of constitutions, or continue to dwell on a single aspect of diaper fetishism, or act like a totally self-absorbed, selfish infant, seemingly incapable of navigating in and being a productive member of "normal" society. Apparently, what you read or what you derived from what you read was not what I said - which was positive, on the whole - and I merely pointed out several things. What is tiresome is the whining and complaining people do. You have found a wonderful site, to find you are not alone, in your desires, feelings and experiences. It is a fellowship. It is a community, if you will, as it were. Also take the time to peruse all the forum categories, threads and comments - maybe look over a few blogs or profiles. BE a part of the community with some additional data about self, to aid others in getting to know the member, and maybe encouraging a new friendship. If more people took a "chill pill" and helped make this community more of what it can be for so many others, they, too, would benefit. It's all "pay it forward". And, that's the way it should be. We can whine and "share", or we can be proactive and "just do it". There's all kinds of moral support for that, too....

Everybody seems to forget that fact that diapers are absorbent underwear! They were designed to be an aid to the containment of incontinence in infants until the time that they could control their functions and choose when to eliminate. So, over time, they have been seen to be for infants only. Now, looking at the real world, we have "Pampers" available for a variety of ages, including getting larger and larger, enough to fit teens, and with Attends, to fit adults. Reality being that while perhaps a majority of infants DID achieve continence, there are those that continued to wet the bed uncontrollably - I did until I was 17 (!) - and some do their entire life, there are those that for a variety of medical reasons, never achieved or never achieve continence, and then there are those that because of a variety of reasons, including medical, that lose achieved continence in later stages of life. Thus, in a different vein, there are those that, for some reason, including mental quirk - affectation, addiction, etc., if you will - that CHOOSE to wear and use a totally legitimate, legal product, "going against the grain" of so-called "normal" and "sane" society norms and expectations. This, of course, causes guilt, shame and self-loathing by for the one who opts for absorbent underwear because they don't understand their quirk, affectation, addiction, and consider it abnormal and, perhaps, a harmful defect, as an "outcast" in accepted practice and acceptability in society. Given I'm comfortable with who I am and how I am, for me, I wear any damned time I want, and use whenever I want. And, I wear a lot, to the sometimes chagrin, but usually amused loving acceptance, of my wife. Now, if I had to race home, stop whatever I was doing, just so I could wet and mess myself, and then, sequester myself to wallow and delight in my eliminations, THAT would be having diapers take over my life. Or, if I could not be sexually stimulated at all, ever, without the use or inclusion of diapers in the intimacy, THAT would be having diapers take over my life. If I could not think a single thought or do anything without the word, the vision of or connection to/with a diaper being included, I might think that diapers had taken over my life. If I could not do anything at all, ever, without diapers being included, I might be concerned that diapers had taken over my life. Methinks we in our "community" worry too much and are too hard on ourselves. However, it did take me many years to get to this point of comfort and contentment in my life with the diapers I choose to wear and use in it. I can only wish the same point and degree of contentment for like-mined others.

I'm sure that you are saying very little new, very little that hasn't already been said in many ways by many other people. That's not to belittle what you've said, but what you've said is not unique to you. You provide little information on your profile about you, other than you've been a member for a year and a half. I'm sure you've read a whole lot of comments on a whole lot of threads. Diapers seem to be a focal point for a great many of us here, AB, DL or incon. And, those diapers get a variety of use and create a variety of sensations to those "into" them. A great many try to understand why that is, and a great many try to and want to "compartmentalize" what we're into and those of us that are into varying segments of the "community" on the whole. You're kind of preaching to the choir. But, it's good that you've found contentment and security. That's basically what all of us want. Many just don't know how to find it AND are pretty uptight about being "different" and different - from so-called "normal" society - the way that we, in "our community" are.

That was the context and that is probably the answer. Thank you very much!

Let's see. Shower. Water. Shower. Running water. Shower. Warm running water. Shower. Naked skin. Shower. Diaper or underwear on. Shower. Wet diaper or wet underwear on. Shower. Drain. Shower. Water. Drain. Shower. Water running over naked body. Shower. Water running over wet diapers or wet underwear before it's taken off and wrung out to dry. Shower. Water. Drain. Hmmmm. I guess, to me, peeing in a shower is a natural - it's actually a big toilet without a flush handle. And, using a shower to rinse off or rinse out peed diapers or wet underwear - or other clothing - is also a natural. And, given that there was such a big deal made of it in the one Seinfeld episode with George at the Health Club - warranting an entire episode(!) - it doesn't surprise me that the question appeared here in the "water sports" section of the forum. Now, making love, standing up, or in any other of lots of available positions, while in the shower, with enough room and warm water spraying down upon the activity, now THAT's ALSO the ticket! LOL

Somebody at another site asked me if I was into O.T. I don't think it was T.O. I hadn't heard the term before, and given that I'm old, and not extremely savvy, I'd like to know what was meant. Um, the question came from a post at FetLife. Any help?

I'm sure all of us can "armchair quarterback" and offer advice when you stated you were venting, merely resigned to the situation, not necessarily asking for advice. And, us guys, well, we're great at giving advice to "fix" things, even when it's not requested. There's far more to the story than you could detail. It sounds like it took "two to tango", and there are issues from both sides. It sounds like there may be a medical problem, maybe a mental health problem and maybe a heapin' helpin' o' marital counseling - which is nothing more than getting intervention from a dis-interested third party - might have some merit. Glad you had a place to go to vent. It may be stressful to read unsolicited advice, but, just like at my A.A. meetings, there might just be something jump out at you that makes a lot of sense and can prove to be helpful. Good luck.

Woo-Hoo. Communication. Open-minds. Mutual pleasure. Surprise play. MAKE SURE you return the favor, only TWO-FOLD. It's not always all about YOU. Sometimes, the more you give, with NO expectation of some kind of return, you get way more in return. Been there, done that, and I have come out ahead - at least that's what I feel - every time. And, on the whole, I am more happy and content than I've ever been.

People that post threads like this WANT to be "caught". They always hope that the reaction they get will be something along the lines of what their fantasy reaction would be. And, the little boys always want it to be a woman who will be thrilled by the discovery and offer to be their "mommy" and change their diapers. Not gonna' happen. And, the only press we, in our community get, is negative, and in a lot of cases, deservedly so. If you are wearing diapers out in public, and unless you want to get "caught", and it's purely for shock value - a perverse little personal pleasure for those doing it - no, it's not going to get you arrested, it's probably going to embarass someone ELSE and make THEM uncomfortable, and given you already know that, in our society, it's acceptable for infants to be seen in diapers, and even just diapers and a t-shirt, out in public, but not for adults, then anybody who portrays "accidental" exposure had that in mind from the start. No incon, embarassed about being diapered, would think of risking exposure, and dresses appropriately. Typical troll thread, and sad that it keeps reappearing. I don't know what it takes for the newbies - other than perusing the forums and looking for similar threads before posting - to understand that it's NOT acceptable, in a vast majority of cases, to be exposing one's diapers they've chosen to wear, out of decorum and consideration for other people. Period. Want to do it? Fine. Go ahead. But, TYVM, for helping to hold back public acceptance of adults in diapers - no matter how and why they are wearing them - and making the rest of us - especially the discreet and considerate - look like idiots and loonies. I will distance myself from that type of "fellow community member" in any way I can, as far away from that type as I can, also.

Come on! You've chosen to wear and use diapers. If it causes a waddle, SO WHAT? And, if you don't want to "waddle", how about experimenting with various brands and "packages" to allow you successful diaper usage without leaking OR a "waddle". I guess I don't understand it. If a person chooses "A", then "B" happens. Why that is such a problem is beyond me. Now, if you want only to wear cloth diapers and not disposables, you've got a number of issues to deal with. It's the experimentation that is a fabulous part of what we are into and the journey we're on. We are all "different", to be sure, but I really like being "special", which I think we all are. There are a lot of "normals" out there that can't even deal with being "normal"!

Miss Kelly - Number one, you are NOT a loser. You never have been. And, just because you're irritated because you're not getting your diaper "fix" doesn't make you a loser! Number two, you are simply impatient. So, a lot of the world is impatient. Number three, a lot of people can relate to having urges that can't be satiated at a given time for a given reason. Number four, you, of many of the members, have a lot of moral support from others. Myself being one of them. I would say, "Hang in there, Kiddo.", but that would be insulting to you. Being able to vent is it's own reward, as those in A.A. do with their sponsors. You've ordered a specific brand for a specific reason. If you don't mind a suggestion, I will offer this: Try some other brands just to see what they're like, and enjoy the thrill of trying them and see how well they work. And, you might want to try - feeling embarassed or sheepish or whatever - checking out thrift stores like Goodwill, or Salvation Army, and buying diapers in person, at a much reduced price, like even $6 for a package of 12, and getting diapers at a good price, AND a rush by buying them in person, and not letting on that those diapers are for YOU. Of course, were anyone to see your embarassment or seeming humiliation, unless it's a true idiot of a sales associate, it wouldn't matter and nobody would say a word! Just my two cents, Little Missy! Good luck. I know how wonderful it feels to be diapered and be diapered often, even if I do it privately and discreetly, which makes it even MORE decadent and fun!

Labels. Labels are restrictive, as is religion, in general. Why the connection? I'm straight, with bi tendencies. Okay, saying that, if I turn to religion, it's an "abomination" to be attracted to males in any way. Um, where do you think the term "sodomy" comes from - Biblical towns of Sodom and Gomorrha - and, OMG, I'm going to hell for not being totally satisfied with "missionary position sex with a bio female". I've also been told if I consider myself bi, I'm gay. Well, it's females that turn me on. And, females in diapers turn me on even more. I like the way diapers look on some guys - I mean, some of them have the right look, the right bulk and wear them well - but, the idea of kissing another male doesn't do a thing for me. That said, I would like to experience some male-to-male interaction, and could diaper another guy without a second thought. I'm a guy, I know what I like, and would like to experiment. However, after that experiment, I might want more or I might have my "itch scratched", and that might be it. My wife calls me a pure hedonist, so maybe that's it. And, to be honest, I'm not really interested in any other females other than my wife. So, what does that make me? I don't care. I'm not going to lose sleep over it. I'm comfortable with and like who I am and how I am. And, I think that's the bottom line we all have to come to.

Dude - I think you have nailed it on the head, for a great many of us, and said it very well. Thanks for your comments!

While I prefer plastic backing, though I never fail to wear two pairs of plastic pants for leakproofing, cloth backing doesn't seem to do too badly, and the "hook & loop" tapes can work a little better at times than the sticky tapes on some brands. While I prefer cloth diapers, they aren't always practical due to bulk, so since I'm a DL and wear by choice, I just want a "package" that works so I don't have to figure out how to get a diaper change except when I want to get one and not leak.

I own my own business. I live in the building I work in. I am very comfortable being a DL and while I'm not 24/7, I do wear a lot and frequently. I am discreet, unlike certain trolls who always seem to "accidentally" expose their diapers or poop their pants around other people, and even with Dry 24/7 or Molicares, if anyone has ever noticed, nothing has ever been said. What IS someone else going to say, if I'm not being purposely exhibitionistic? I'M the one wearing the diapers! At just over $20 per case, Maker's Mark diapers from Sam's Club are a bargain. I believe they are being made by Invacare, since I can't seem to find the Invacare brand elsewhere anymore, and they seem to be exactly the same as the Invacares I still have on hand. While they are more for light wetting needs, I use two Select or Dignity "doublers"(boost pads)and two cloth baby diapers(reusable and about $1 each when new) as liners. I always wear two pair of plastic pants over that for leakproofing. Right now, with prices at thrift stores going up, these diapers are almost less than what is available there, usually like Attends or Depends. This "package" is virtually undetectable and very adequate for practical wetting during up to 8 hours. I find that virtually no US made adult disposable diaper can handle flooding, especially in the crotch area, and while I truly prefer cloth diapers, due to bulk, they really aren't as practical under regular clothing, unless the clothes are somewhat loose-fitting. To me, unless an unexpected need for a bowel movement comes up - in which case I'd take down the diapers to used the crapper - I can pretty much adjust fluid intake to adjust the fluid out-flow to make whatever diaper/soaker combination I choose work on a given day - or night! LOL - or wear period. Personally, with a ready and varied supply of diapers, I enjoy working with what I have to make what I choose work for me.

Like Infantae Press and Amber E, DPF went up for sale. Tommy was getting older and not in the best of health as I understand. AC Medical, in Canada, with a tremendous inventory of plastic pants was up for sale, too. VI Products went out of business since the lady that owned it was 63, was looking forward to retiring, was out of vinyl, and could only buy a 7 year supply of vinyl to stay in business to the degree that the old Gerber Babywear was doing. Many in our community seem to be "poor and pathetic", and much of the roster seemed to be gay males,very few females. It was even the practice to post name and address and phone number if desired on the roster. DPF had a website, but it seemed to never get an upgrade, and many members continued to criticize Tommy for making all kinds of money off of them and what he sold. Tommy seemed to do it all and couldn't keep up. All Tommy wanted was to be able to be the AB he was, full-time, and be able to live off of what he made from DPF, which was not unreasonable. I remember he tried to put together a gathering at a resort he'd lined up for an AB/DL event where everyone could be themselves and freely wear for a week. He couldn't even get 100 people to commit and make a downpayment on the event to be able to reserve the resort! Regardless of how Tommy presented and represented the community, he was a leader, and a pioneer, regardless of what anyone says - my dealings with him and DPF were never a turn-off or disappointing to me, and was glad DPF was there. I think Tommy and DPF were before their time. I sincerely think that people that do things and have something for those of us in our community stand tall. Most of the rest of us would not have the passion, funds or desire, let alone the stick-to-it-iveness to make it happen and keep it going. As a former foot races, duathlons and bicycle races director, I know what it means to have a "labor of love". I gave it up, in the hole financially, which I never complained about or even thought about, after 13 years of it. I have never regretted my efforts. However, as passionate as I am regarding my DL side/life/world, I don't think I could even consider the type of efforts that Tommy made or that is made here or at Diaper Space for that kind of time. I used to love Diaper Town, especially for the chat room. However, that site is no longer with us, either. I don't think any of us, in our diaper community, especially the younger ones and the newbies, have any idea of the effort it takes to make information, a comfort zone and a safe place possible for us in this community! With that, kudos to Tommy & Markey and DPF, and a heart-felt thank you to Daily Di!

And, you, Troll, missed the point as only YOU could.... If it was an attempt to be funny, you aren't.

I would say "other" because that girl laying next to me had better be my wife or I'm in a lot of trouble! In my dating days, I didn't do a lot of wearing around my partners, though I normally did not NOT have my partner know I was into diapers. My wife, on the other hand, has afforded me freedoms to degrees unknown before to enjoy my DL side/life/world and enjoy the DL that I am. Since my diaper wearing is sexual when I get next to my wife, I truly enjoy more than her feeling the plastic pants or playing with the elastic. She is expert at groping me through my diapers in all the right ways and is able to keep me aroused to the point of discomfort. I would think that if a male isn't turned on by what you're doing, he isn't interested in that type of stimulation or he's not into you as a partner. You wouldn't have to take it personally, but some people are very "touch" or "stimulation-specific" to be aroused or betray that arousal if they are trying to keep it hidden.

It never fails to amaze me how newbies, especially, seem to have this thought they need to be, or the need to actually be incon to legitimize their desires for and use of diapers. Diapers are a legitimate product, produced for all ages of human beings. They are neither illegal, immoral or fattening. And, they are affordable. Walk in an incon's shoes before you decide you want to be one. But, then, I'm old, and think I know a thing or two once in a while...

I agree with RMS. I doubt that diapers were the sole reason your marriage ended. However, you need to do a lot of looking through the forum threads instead of starting a new one. There is a lot of past-history shared by others and a lot of insight and wisdom at this site. Being a diaper fetishist is a big deal to those in our AB/DL "community". However, versus life, as a whole, diaper fetishism is minor in the scope of relationships and dysfunction in that regard. As I have said and will continue to say, a person's AB/DL side/life/world needs to be presented and made known up front and before much time and emotion has been invested into a relationship, out of fairness to the partners. And, versus waxing on at length, I'll leave it at that. Good luck in your grieving and mourning of your marriage/relationship. Good luck in the future.

Thread after thread after thread screams the question, "Why?", to so many aspects of us, what makes us us, and our lives. I, like Goden, find the whole aspect of diaper fetishism(or, infantilism, as it's "classified", but call it what you will...) fascinating, and love to read the threads about what is going on in the heads of the members here. Given that I'm nearly 45 years into my diaper fetishism, and came to that realization - that I'm a DL, with little interest in the AB world or baby things - I no longer waste time wondering why I do what I do, why I enjoy what I enjoy and why I have no desire to purge this "abnormality" (says who, and based upon what criteria?). Diapers are absorbent underwear. Diapers are a legitimate product with a legitimate purpose. Diapers are made for use by all ages of human beings and for all sizes, and for all variety of needs for absorbent underwear. Diapers are neither illegal, immoral or fattening. We, in the AB/DL community spend more time in guilt, self-loathing and "feeding quarters into the ass kicking machine" than trying to figure out how to accept ourselves for who we are, how we are and how we can best integrate the us we are into our life and interaction(s) with other people. It's OUR thing. If others will not accept it, or US, for being as we are, then they really are not worth our time. And, unless we are part of the fringe that has that need to lie about being mentally ill and incon, trying to hire an unsuspecting person to "change our diaper" - which can get you arrested and name and face published in the newspaper - or decide we just can't live unless we head out to the Seven Eleven for a Slurpee, dressed in just diapers, a t-shirt and sandals - which will also get a person arrested for nothing illegal, but maybe get an assisted trip for psychiatric evaluation somewhere - what we do discreetly or in private is nobody else's business. So, if we can accept ourselves for who we are, how we are and what we are into, what does it matter WHY we do what we do? People do all kinds of things that seem to vary from "the norm". What WE do is just one more thing on that long list of quirks that human beings have. What was the trigger? A person may never find out. Or, they may. Unless you are intent upon purging that desire - and some shrinks will tell you you can only replace it with some other, maybe more well-accepted "obsession" - it doesn't matter why your switch is tripped. However, only the individual can choose to stop obsessing over their obsession, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. The answer can be as simple as "Because!" or a person can spend a lifetime never finding a definitive answer

Since I wear by choice, and am very discreet, it's nice to just not have to wait until my bladder is full and then have to hold it until I can find a place to get relief. A couple of times I have unintentionally challenged my ability to wait until getting home until a pesky bowel could be emptied. Even with disposables on, I always use two pair of plastic pants for additional leakproofing and protection. In those several cases, my bowels have let loose - and what a mess there would have been without "containment", in public, no less - and I was well contained, though "malodorous", for the trip home, in my own car, of course. Since I usually mess by choice, it was not a big deal to have messy diapers and have to endure the trip home. However, I was never so glad, at those times, for having BEEN diapered!