Everyone Knows And Its Embarrassing

[Guest]

well well. I have a profile on fetlife. I decided to message this girl on fetlife. I did not tell her I liked to wear diapers but you can list a list of fetishes you like to like and it displays as diapers (receiving) and spankings (receiving). The girl I messaged on fetlife saw that on my profile. Turned out the girl I messaged has a girlfriend that works with me. Well the girl friends girl told this guy about my fetlife profile and that I like to wear diapers I work with. So now both this girl and guy I work with is going around telling people I like to wear diapers and about my fetlife profile. These are people I work with and this is happening at work. Everybody at work is cracking jokes to me about me liking to wear diapers. This has been going on for the last month but I have been to afraid to say anything to the managers and to scared to use the open door policy for sexual harrassment in fear that the managers would fire me if they found out i liked to wear diapers. Finally it got to the point where I finally decided to do something because as I was walking to the bathrooms the girl and a new guy they just hired. The girl obviously told the new guy because she said thats him! check out his page! she was talking about my fetlife page. She kept telling new associates. I finally went to the store manager and explained that I messaged a girl on fetlife at home. It turned out the girl I messaged was this girl's girl friend. The girlfriend had showed the girl that works with me my profile and had been going around work telling everybody about my fetlife profile and fetish. I all so explained it has been going on for the last month and I was to scared to use the open door policy for sexual harrassment because I was afraid if the managers found out about my fetish I would be fired and that she keeps telling every body. She assured me I would not be fired because of my fetish and what the girl did was wrong because what happens at home should stay at home because it is your business and should not be brought into work. I did not tell her I liked to wear diapers when I explained it she asked what kind of jokes they were cracking and asked me to write a statement since I could not tell her what kind of jokes they were cracking because I told her I was to embarrassed. I wrote a statement for the open door policy for sexual harrassment and explained what kind of jokes and what they were doing in the statement. So know everyone at work knows I like to wear diapers EVEN the STORE MANAGER! I am very embarrassed, scared, hurt, and upset by this. But the sexual harrassment is being handled. I just wish no one found out about my fetish. All it takes are immature people to hurt someone. EVERYBODY KNOWS NOW AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW! I did not want to write the statement and turn it in I did not want the store manager to find out i liked to wear diapers but if I wanted the sexual harrassment handled I had to turn in the statement. The store manager is a very caring person but people usually find this fetish freaky and weird. I do not know what reaction shes had because She found out my fetish since I wrote out the statement and I'm very scared because of that. Shes not my mom shes my boss so her reaction might be comepletely different and not caring about what is going on since i enjoy wearing diapers. I'm VERY UPSET AND WANT TO CRY but I don't want to cry infront of her. I all most did cry when I was explaining it to her but I was trying to surpress my emotions so that I wouldn't cry infront of her but she could tell by my voice that I was very upset and fixing to cry by what was going on.

[wetman]

You have now posted your lifestyle on yet another fetish forum.

Wise move?

On the other hand, it's out now. You can't put it back into the tin.

It'll die down and dry up eventually; people will get bored taking the mickey and move on. Just learn from it that you don't post your face next time and don't trust people too much. What did your colleagues friend have to say about what she's doing on a fetish forum chatting up diaper lovers?

[Guest]

I didnt message back the girl after i found out her girlfriend that works with me was going around telling everyone my fetish but the store manager is pissed off about it. But I have no clue what the manager will do. But what the girl i work with did was very innappropriate especially since its at work.

p.s. I'm using a different username.

[sweetandsensitiveguy]

well you only options are to quit or just be proud of it,

Only real solution is if anyone brings it up at work file harrasment complaints then when people realize you will fill out complaints they will stop other then that you have little optins

[Bettypooh]

It's too late to do anything about this except make lemonade from the lemons At least now you have nothing to hide so there is a bright side to this

Be thankful that you have at least some method of handling this in your workplace- many of us are not covered by any policies or laws in this regard and a workplace outing could possibly bring an end to our entire lifetime's career instead of just possibly costing us one job till we got another one You should have dealt with this immediately which might have limited the damage- now that is impossible You are now learning the value of being careful online and that you can never know who is going to recognize you from what is on the web. This is why you are better off staying well under the radar with anything you do not want to become well known in your real life Once a secret is out it is then beyond your control and all you can do is accept the consequences of that, and deal with them as best you can. Damage control is a poor substitute for prevention

I hope this works out well for you but at this point about all you can do is ride out the storm and learn to not be so careless next time so that you won't have a storm to deal with in the first place!

Bettypooh

[Creepymouse]

That's pretty horrible - the way I learned 'the rulez' you don't say anything about anyone inside the scene without their permission. You never know when it will be your fetish being outed. "Sure, I may wear diapers but you shove grapefruits up your ass!"

[drynot]

All I can add is that its going to get better from here on out. Workplace harrasment and bullying is viewed in a very dim light and will likely be taken care of. You're only 21 years old so you've got lots to experience yet. Don't let this one incident define who you are.

[Rihanna]

well well. I have a profile on fetlife. I decided to message this girl on fetlife. I did not tell her I liked to wear diapers but you can list a list of fetishes you like to like and it displays as diapers (receiving) and spankings (receiving). The girl I messaged on fetlife saw that on my profile. Turned out the girl I messaged has a girlfriend that works with me. Well the girl friends girl told this guy about my fetlife profile and that I like to wear diapers I work with. So now both this girl and guy I work with is going around telling people I like to wear diapers and about my fetlife profile. These are people I work with and this is happening at work. Everybody at work is cracking jokes to me about me liking to wear diapers. This has been going on for the last month but I have been to afraid to say anything to the managers and to scared to use the open door policy for sexual harrassment in fear that the managers would fire me if they found out i liked to wear diapers. Finally it got to the point where I finally decided to do something because as I was walking to the bathrooms the girl and a new guy they just hired. The girl obviously told the new guy because she said thats him! check out his page! she was talking about my fetlife page. She kept telling new associates. I finally went to the store manager and explained that I messaged a girl on fetlife at home. It turned out the girl I messaged was this girl's girl friend. The girlfriend had showed the girl that works with me my profile and had been going around work telling everybody about my fetlife profile and fetish. I all so explained it has been going on for the last month and I was to scared to use the open door policy for sexual harrassment because I was afraid if the managers found out about my fetish I would be fired and that she keeps telling every body. She assured me I would not be fired because of my fetish and what the girl did was wrong because what happens at home should stay at home because it is your business and should not be brought into work. I did not tell her I liked to wear diapers when I explained it she asked what kind of jokes they were cracking and asked me to write a statement since I could not tell her what kind of jokes they were cracking because I told her I was to embarrassed. I wrote a statement for the open door policy for sexual harrassment and explained what kind of jokes and what they were doing in the statement. So know everyone at work knows I like to wear diapers EVEN the STORE MANAGER! I am very embarrassed, scared, hurt, and upset by this. But the sexual harrassment is being handled. I just wish no one found out about my fetish. All it takes are immature people to hurt someone. EVERYBODY KNOWS NOW AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW! I did not want to write the statement and turn it in I did not want the store manager to find out i liked to wear diapers but if I wanted the sexual harrassment handled I had to turn in the statement. The store manager is a very caring person but people usually find this fetish freaky and weird. I do not know what reaction shes had because She found out my fetish since I wrote out the statement and I'm very scared because of that. Shes not my mom shes my boss so her reaction might be comepletely different and not caring about what is going on since i enjoy wearing diapers. I'm VERY UPSET AND WANT TO CRY but I don't want to cry infront of her. I all most did cry when I was explaining it to her but I was trying to surpress my emotions so that I wouldn't cry infront of her but she could tell by my voice that I was very upset and fixing to cry by what was going on.

Quoted for posterity, as I usually don't do full quotes, but feel this may get altered or deleted.

Welcome!

You have received very good info above so follow it, if your story is true.

There are many problems & questions;

Your story is one run-on paragraph with poor grammar, repitition, poor capitalization, poor punctuation, and as noted, no paragraph breaks which makes the whole thing hard to read and understand. There is a "Preview Post" button to use for seeing how it will appear and proofreading, which you seem to have done neither.

What the hell do you have in your fetlife profile that allowed you to be easily identified? Pictures, workplace, email, and/or phone #, etc? Even in profiles, much less than in an open post, people are advised not to post email addys or phone numbers until friendship/trust has been established by PM or reputatation from open posts. (Yea, it's a losing battle to get people to understand there are bots that cruise open forums for that info so I've mostly given up trying.) (As I type this, a "guest" is also on this thread. Is it someone who hasn't joined/logged on, or is it a 'bot' collecting info?)

I'm not the sharpest tack on the 'net, but it seems you put way too much info in your profile, posts, and/or your PM to her.

WHY DID YOU NOT IMMEDIATELY PULL DOWN YOUR FETLIFE PROFILE AND ACCOUNT???? That question is based on the "check his profile" comment, days or weeks into this.

Your story seems more fitted for a "Roleplay" or "Stories" thread than an "advice" thread. Notice I've often said "story" as, until you can prove otherwise, that's what I consider it to be. IOW, I don't buy it.

Either way, good luck on your "real life" situation and/or your budding career as a "fiction" writer.

Not sorry... I consider this a troll or story unless 'he' can document things. There is too much of a stretch to believe most of this.

[rusty pins]

You did the right thing finally. There is no excuse for what this other employee did, and I do believe your story. Yes, it is embaressing and humiliating, but now that it's out, how much worse can it get from here? It seems to me the worst has been done, and you are on the track for things to get better. Yes, a perfect example of how what goes on the internet, or even face to face with someone can get around to others. Water under the bridge now, but going forward I hope, if that girl who spread everything among your co-workers dosn't get fired over it, that she and everyone else talking and making jokes behind your back gets severly diciplined and at the minimum, talked to about harrasment. The girl who started it all at your place of work should be made to write you a big and sincere apology in order to prevent losing her job, and then monitored by management to make sure it dosn't continue. Actualy, from here on out you are in control! You should be the most important person at that store now as far as the management is concerned! There are laws against work place harrasment and many businesses are very afraid of being sued. Your boss may really care for you and about what happened, but even if she dosn't, she will take action on your behalf for fear of leagle reprocussions. Follow through with her, don't be afraid to ask what specific action she is going to take with this girl and the others in the office. If it dosn't sound appropriate or harsh enough, express your opinion and state what you yourself would like to happen. The manager may be hampered as far as what she can leagally do or how far she can go when disiplining another worker, but at least you have stated what you would like to happen which also expresses how deeply you are affected and personally hurt by what this and other coworkers have been doing.

Now, one last bit of advice. Do an exceptional job at work! If you normally work 110%, try for 120%! Show your boss and everyone else around you how hard of a worker and that you are the very best employee that company has. Everyone around you will notice and see how valuble you are and that will only get more people, including your boss on your side. Also, hard as it may seem, be as normal at work as you can be. Strike up new conversations with people, especially new employees. Be pro-active with others! Talk about work, ask them where they worked before, just everyday normal conversation. Act as if you are the model person for "normal". Be as hard a worker and as normal an everyday person as possible! You will gain respect from coworkers and make friends in spite of what someone else has said. Eventually, the girl who spread everything about you around will become the one who people avoid. After all, if someone came up to me at work and started telling me something bad about a coworker, I would avoid that person like the plague! If she is that quick to spread things around the place about you, I wouldn't hesitate to think she would be the store gossip and spread stuff around about me and everyone else behind their backs. No one likes a person like that! Take care and I hope things get better for you! Keep your chin up!

[Guest]

fuck you Rihanna and it did happen. I would not have told the store manager if I was lying. I could type it as best as I can because I will not say any names and I would not pull down my fetlife profile when I've been on there for 2-3 years just because of some immature people.

[Guest]

You did the right thing finally. There is no excuse for what this other employee did, and I do believe your story. Yes, it is embaressing and humiliating, but now that it's out, how much worse can it get from here? It seems to me the worst has been done, and you are on the track for things to get better. Yes, a perfect example of how what goes on the internet, or even face to face with someone can get around to others. Water under the bridge now, but going forward I hope, if that girl who spread everything among your co-workers dosn't get fired over it, that she and everyone else talking and making jokes behind your back gets severly diciplined and at the minimum, talked to about harrasment. The girl who started it all at your place of work should be made to write you a big and sincere apology in order to prevent losing her job, and then monitored by management to make sure it dosn't continue. Actualy, from here on out you are in control! You should be the most important person at that store now as far as the management is concerned! There are laws against work place harrasment and many businesses are very afraid of being sued. Your boss may really care for you and about what happened, but even if she dosn't, she will take action on your behalf for fear of leagle reprocussions. Follow through with her, don't be afraid to ask what specific action she is going to take with this girl and the others in the office. If it dosn't sound appropriate or harsh enough, express your opinion and state what you yourself would like to happen. The manager may be hampered as far as what she can leagally do or how far she can go when disiplining another worker, but at least you have stated what you would like to happen which also expresses how deeply you are affected and personally hurt by what this and other coworkers have been doing.

Now, one last bit of advice. Do an exceptional job at work! If you normally work 110%, try for 120%! Show your boss and everyone else around you how hard of a worker and that you are the very best employee that company has. Everyone around you will notice and see how valuble you are and that will only get more people, including your boss on your side. Also, hard as it may seem, be as normal at work as you can be. Strike up new conversations with people, especially new employees. Be pro-active with others! Talk about work, ask them where they worked before, just everyday normal conversation. Act as if you are the model person for "normal". Be as hard a worker and as normal an everyday person as possible! You will gain respect from coworkers and make friends in spite of what someone else has said. Eventually, the girl who spread everything about you around will become the one who people avoid. After all, if someone came up to me at work and started telling me something bad about a coworker, I would avoid that person like the plague! If she is that quick to spread things around the place about you, I wouldn't hesitate to think she would be the store gossip and spread stuff around about me and everyone else behind their backs. No one likes a person like that! Take care and I hope things get better for you! Keep your chin up!

I hope the best does come out of it. But the managers all ready know I work hard. They thank me for the work and say I'm a valued team member. they know how fast I can stock cause I've all ready been working for them for a year and a half. I got to the point where I could throw all most 4 boxes a minute. The co-worker girl that spread my fetlife information probably will be coached or written up not fired I don't think she has had her 90 day evaluation if she hasn't then she might be fired. But the other co-worker going around helping her spread my fetlife information will probably be fired because they've been wanting to fire him for a long time all ready now and because he is involved spreading the fetlife information it is considered sexual harrassment he will probably be fired. But the girl would probably be fired to so the harrassment doesnt continue. Because it doesn't matter if they get rid of the guy the harrassment will still continue because the girl is still there. So for the harrassment to stop she would have to be fired otherwise she will keep telling new associates that get hired. I wan't to cry in front of the store manager but I don't want to. I really do hope both of them do get fired but there are co-workers that explain to the managers they don't want to explain anything or be a part of whats going on or lie to the managers saying they didn't do it then there is nothing that can be done unless someone steps forward and says yes this is whats going on and I hope someone does step forward. In the statement I wrote down all three fetlife profile URLs Mine, the girls and her girlfriends so she can see them and be able to help verify that it did happen and how the profiles are set up to help the investigation so the girl can't denie she doesn't have a fetlife profile. When I wrote the statement I wrote The guy that told someone else said it'd be funny if he shits him self. I wrote I don't shit my self because of hygeine I'm a hygeine freak. I don't wear diapers to work, only at home. I don't even buy diapers at work only at cvs.

[thick and dry]

fuck you Rihanna and it did happen.

I understand the aggressiveness is because of her telling you it's not real, and in a sense I understand your anger. You spilled a lot on here, and you've been through a lot in a few days....

But I think it'd also be good to answer a few of her questions. Not to 'prove anyone wrong' about it being non-fiction- but simply because it may lead to a few users on here being more careful, and perhaps not getting into a situation you did. Aside from this being a help thread for you, it can be an awareness lesson for others.

What exactly did you put in your message/profile that allowed you to be easily identified? I've browsed fetlife before, and it seems more open than say, DiaperSpace (where I found someone special with a personal photo)- so I'm guessing a face picture?

Also, I gotta know- what were her interests? Not to use to blackmail, ect... I just gotta know!

[ItchyTasty]

I'm even wary of putting face pics of me on here, unlike some people post full body shots of themselves wearing a diaper.

Despite you having to register and log in to view and download the pics....

I don't want people I can't trust spreading the pics around the internet to forums that ANYONE can see without having to log in or sign up for the site.

As my friends might stumble across me wearing diapers in a google search then, and I'd probably loose 3/4 of them.

And no, I don't know any real life ab/dl's yet....

The only way someone can get full body shots of me wearing a diaper is if they are my bf/gf or if I really really trust the person online not to spread the pics and only keep them for personal viewing.

[Guest]

I have a face picture of me on fetlife for the last 2-3 years I have been with them. Thats how they knew it was me. I'm lucky I didn't upload a picture of me wearing a diaper on there or she would have showed every body at work. I don't go around telling everybody her list of fetishes I don't understand why she went around telling other people what my fetishes were. I don't understand people and I don't understand why she would do that. But she only joined fetlife 3 months ago which makes me very pissed off, That is not what the sites intentions were to go around and spread every body elses fetishes but to learn from other people instead.

[Amyuser]

I can not say for certain because i was not with the OP but RIHANNA has a valid point he is still validating as an AB he is 21 and he has a whole reputation here of 5 Posts counting his "Oh MY GOD I've been outed at work because of Fetlife Profile" and the dude is 21 and works stock at a grocery store"who cares about diaper jokes on the job at a grocery store" when you finish College you will probably never see any of these people again and have a real job and you will not be so stupid with your profiles in the future now will ya, Lesson learned FIDO!!

Peace

Be Happy in Your Nappy

[padded_husky]

All I have to say is Regardless if this is a true story or not My Fetlife account has been wiped clean for safe measure! lol I do believe your story for certain reasons I wont get into. With that said, Your situation is one of my greatest fears! I am thinking of deleting my Fetlife account anyways considering I have never actually used it for anything. Even though I do not have my real name listed on any single online account I do use my furry fursona name which I go by in real life by all my friends and I have been ousted as a furry in the past year at work so people may know my fursona name and might be able to guess my account names by luck though I really don't think I have even given my furry fursona name and no one at work as ever heard any of my friend call me by my fursona name. SOO.... yeah lol I am sorry to hear your situation but your story helped me see how easy personal information can be abused. Most of my online accounts however are private anyways so I think I am OK now.

[Nat]

Rule of thumb,never post a real photo of you on a fetish website. Never tell personal information about yourself like where you work The girl you messaged must have seen you in real life or how else would she know what you look like and how else would she know you work with her girlfriend? Unless you told her your real name and last name.

It does get embarrassing when people find out you wear them but you get used to it. Then it doesn't bother you anymore that they know. Just as long as they keep quiet about it of course.

[lilstevie]

Sorry this has happened. being outed can be a terrible thing.

Agree with Spokane Girl, putting a real life photo of yourself out on the internet unless you`re already "out" with family and friends is asking for the inevitable to happen. You played the odds no one local would see you and lost.

You have options on fet to make personal photos only viewable by friends.

There`s also the option of edited out your face .

Personally i dont feel i have anything to gain by posting a face pic anywhere on the internet .But ,,, thats just my feelings on that.

[happyindprs]

My question to you is how did the girl you messaged on fetlife know you worked with her friend? And what is the girl you messaged into? What are her deep dark fantasies, I mean people that are not kinky don't usually search these sites. What is the connection the two of you have that blew this all out of proportion? I didn't find your profile on Fetlife so I don't know if you are into humiliation. If you are, well then, you got a lot of bang for your buck. If not, well this all really sucks.

[Infernus]

I wouldnt take that from anyone, Male or Female and nobody should have to !

Id have smacked that bitch a long time ago, and im really not the violent type.

[Guest]

Rule of thumb,never post a real photo of you on a fetish website. Never tell personal information about yourself like where you work The girl you messaged must have seen you in real life or how else would she know what you look like and how else would she know you work with her girlfriend? Unless you told her your real name and last name.

It does get embarrassing when people find out you wear them but you get used to it. Then it doesn't bother you anymore that they know. Just as long as they keep quiet about it of course.

When she messaged me back she said she did see me a couple times when ever she came in. I'm lucky that i didn't upload a photo of me wearing a diaper to fetlife or she would have shown every body at work me wearing diapers then it would have been more embarrassing than what it is all ready. I'm going back to the store manager because someone kept cracking jokes about a pink dildo I used to have. I am even more pissed the sexual harrassment is still going on because it keeps going on I don't think the investigation even started yet.

[Guest]

My question to you is how did the girl you messaged on fetlife know you worked with her friend? And what is the girl you messaged into? What are her deep dark fantasies, I mean people that are not kinky don't usually search these sites. What is the connection the two of you have that blew this all out of proportion? I didn't find your profile on Fetlife so I don't know if you are into humiliation. If you are, well then, you got a lot of bang for your buck. If not, well this all really sucks.

You didn't find my profile because I used a different username ogional is the one on fetlife. I just want to know if they'll get fired or not. I hope they do. I am very hurt by what they did. I'll find out soon enough though. I don't know if the store manager could do anything about it because they didn't use any language while cracking jokes. But it is sexual harrassment because it is a fetish and they went around telling other people what my fetish was. They shouldn't have done what they did and the store manager agreed that they shouldn't have brought personal life into work. I hope someone steps forward and says yes they did because my biggest concern is if no one does then the store manager might think its just hear say and think that i just wrote the statement just to tell her I liked to wear diapers. But I wouldn't do that. I've all ready worked there for a year and a half and If I really wanted to tell her I liked to wear diapers I would have told her myself when I first started. I didn't even want to write the statement cause I didn't want her to know it was to embarrassing but I was scared they were going around telling people I didn't want anyone to know but they kept telling people. I need a tape recorder. I'll ask her if I'm allowed because of my disability if i can walk around the store with a tape recorder.

[rusty pins]

If this is a chain store as opposed to just a mom and pop store, take your complaint to the next level, corporate if you need to. Hopefully things will get taken care of by your own manager, but if not, don't hesitate to go above her head yourself if need be.

[notababy]

But it is sexual harrassment because it is a fetish and they went around telling other people what my fetish was. They shouldn't have done what they did and the store manager agreed that they shouldn't have brought personal life into work.

Actually, the mere telling of the truth isn't sexual harassment. You had a profile on a public site, someone saw it and they're talking about it. That in and of itself isn't harassment, even if it's embarrassing. Now if it turns to defamation, discrimination, or discussions WITH YOU that make you uncomfortable, then you start moving towards sexual harassment if you've asked them to not discuss this with you and they keep doing it, or if you feel that it being discussed is leading to hostility or discrimination in the workplace (and hostility includes intentionally making you uncomfortable at work).

Work is personal life - you spend up to a third of your time there, with them, and nearly half of your normal waking hours more the majority of the week. There is no difference in that sense. The difference is that at work there are rules to protect you from harassment and discrimination. This is absolutely no different than if you were gay and someone outed you from a gay dating site. Zero difference. In that regard, now is the time to stop being afraid and to stand up for your rights, and to put a stop to this. You've done the right thing by reporting it.

Two more things: 1) They're never going to un-know. They'll care less over time, but they'll always know. 2) That may not be bad. There's an outside chance that someone else into/curious about this now knows someone they can come to. Despite what any other posters say, that's a very, very, very remote chance and not something you should overtly pursue... just keep it in mind.

It's funny... I know several co-workers who are gay, and I have several friends who are hardcore into what would be considered fetish scenes (BDSMdungeon, public nudity, etc.). The gay co-workers? Nobody cares. The fetish scenes? Those who know, know, but that's not a place where our social interactions cross, so it's never been important (but also something that the participants don't advertise but aren't ashamed of, either). They've also never been teased about their pursuits... primarily because they're the kind of people that otherwise engender respect in the way they carry themselves in the rest of their lives. The same likely applies for you - the more people know you, and know you for other things, the less important knowing you enjoy a diaper fetish becomes.

[notababy]

Edit to add: In my work circle I know for a fact I'd get teased, and I'd have a HARD time falling back on sexual harassment (well, it'd be easy to claim, but wouldn't bode well for me in terms of the level of personal respect I'd need to be successfully employed there), but I also know that after the initial wave of teasing that if I simply explained it for what it is and kept being me, it'd go away. Some would be turned off, some would talk behind my back or be repulsed... most just wouldn't care and would chalk it up to something "strange" I like to do on my own time. C'est la vie.