Critiques and Writer's Discussion

Thank you!! 💞 and indeed. 😆 at the prodding of a Little no less.. how embarrassing 🤭 YAY!! 💜 I'm so glad!!! Thank you!! 💕 I do have a fascination with psychology and its history of being... interestingly wrong and/or inaccurate at best, or weaponized at worst. The entire concept of Maturosis being grounded in real concepts but just warped to fit the bias of Amazons is fascinating to me and I am SO HAPPY to have - hopefully - represented how that could work. 😊 Thank you!! 💕 I was definitely very excited for these chapters and I'm so glad they've been well received!!!  Chapter Twenty-Six: Grief's Long Shadow “We’re taking a break from work today,” Joomi announced as she taped on a fresh diaper the next morning, and Adam raised his eyebrows at her. While they had resumed their lab work after the maturosis meeting, he recalled they mentioned sending their report to her afterwards. She hadn’t said anything, but he immediately became suspicious she had read it after she put him to bed… She flashed him a smile, but didn’t say anything more, lifting him from the table and placing him on the ground. He swallowed as he watched her walk over to the dresser, and he struggled with how to approach the subject of probing the reason. He glanced down at his all-but-diaper-naked body and slowly walked over to her, pursing his lips; this was not the ideal dress code for a discussion. “Am I in trouble?” he asked quietly, and she looked at him immediately. “No, agaya, no,” she soothed quickly, brushing his hair back. “Why would you think that?” “I don’t know,” he mumbled as he looked at the open drawer. “For… making fun of the doctor?” “Oh,” she chuckled, placing her hand on a stack of clothes as she looked up in thought before responding. “It was a clever joke, and I understand why you did it.” She looked at him with a small grin, reaching forward and gently pushing his nose, then placed her hand under his chin and lifted it to force eye contact. “But why did I call it rude?” she asked, her tone motherly, an eyebrow raised. Adam blinked as he considered, his eyes moving across her face as he recalled the exact moment she reacted and apologized. “Because… I… implied they were making things up?” “More like accused,” she corrected softly, sliding her hand from under his chin to cup the side of his face. “We must always be respectful to one another, even when it is not returned. Do you understand?” “Yes, Eomma,” he said, smiling and nodding. Wanting to prove he understood how important this was not only to her but to Goryeo, he beamed as he added, “It’s the first pillar.” “Yes,” she bubbled in delight, her eyes widening and her face lighting up with pride. He blushed in response, recognizing that same look when they had spoken about kibun in the shrine ahead of the ceremony. As she placed a kiss on his forehead, he fell quiet for a moment, starting to realize how important these pillars were to her, specifically. “So,” he sniffed as he locked that thought away to reflect on another time. “Can we… work today?” “Agaya,” she both sighed and laughed, shaking her head. “I take breaks all the time. It’s important to build in relaxing days - it is not a punishment.” “Okay,” he flashed a smile that quickly faded. He knew he should trust that it was true, but she had proven she wasn’t above obfuscating the real truth with a different truth. He sniffed; he would just have to monitor her actions and see if there were significant changes. Glancing about the room, his eyes landed on the adoption scroll, and he initiated test number one. “Can I work on other stuff?” “Such as?” she asked as she lifted a blue romper with a collar and beamed at it. She turned it around to show him the front, which had a smiling rhino face on the front pocket. He stared at it, then her, and gave a dramatic eye roll, which made her laugh. “Translating the scroll,” he answered as he pointed to it, then put his arms up for her to pull the romper on. “Ohh yes, that is a good idea,” she complimented, tugging the outfit down and reaching between his crotch to snap the romper’s shorts shut. “But you also need to find relaxing activities.” “I’ll feed the fish,” he offered casually, looking down at the rhino face, and slipped his hands into the front pocket. His mouth shrugged; it was better than no pockets at all. “That takes five minutes,” she grinned, closing the drawer. “I watch TV all the time,” he countered quickly, trying to remain calm and steady. He was determined to improve upon his emotional stoicism. “True,” she conceded as she rose to her feet, tapping the top of his head. “But there are only so many episodes of Star Trekking.” “Unfortunately,” he agreed, and they shared a smile, walking out together to the kitchen. He considered test one a pass. Translation work was above a toddler’s typical activity, and she didn’t object to it on its own, just that it wasn’t a relaxing activity. Perhaps she had been honest… “You received a fair amount of toys,” she reminded him as she walked into the kitchen to gather breakfast, and Adam’s lips puckered. He squinted at her suspiciously while she wasn’t looking. At every turn lately, she had been testing him, whether it was with the earpiece development, the meeting, or even with language. She would slip Goryeoan words into sentences he had never heard before, but could reason their meaning within the context of the conversation. He was rather enjoying it when it related to adult activities, but now that it was about playtime, he found it was ironically stressful. If that was indeed what she was doing… or maybe it was that damn report. “Like what?” he asked in a nonchalant tone, trying to sound only mildly interested. He walked over to Boja’s couch bed, where he was guarding Little Boja, and grabbed him, smiling in gratitude to the tiger, whose ear flicked in response. “Puzzles, action figures, building blocks,” she listed off as she pulled food from the fridge. “Oh, and lots of play food!” “Oh, fun,” Adam grumbled, and Boja chuckled. “I loved playing with pretend food,” Joomi smiled at him, her eyes sparkling at her memories. “I would make five-course meals for Geon and Khee all the time.” “Well, yeah, that’s more fun when you have someone to play with,” Adam shrugged as he walked over the container of coloring books, paper, and crayons; stiffening up at realizing how that sounded, he spun around and pointed a finger at her. “I’m not asking for a sibling.” “I didn’t think so,” she laughed, starting the water for tea. “But that does remind me of -” “The other Little!” Adam blurted out as he remembered, too, just as he grabbed a piece of paper and a blue crayon. “That’s right! Who is it?” “His name is Jae-yung,” she managed through laughing, a hand flying up in front of her mouth as she glided around the kitchen. “Ma?” “Yes,” she nodded, cutting a few hard-boiled eggs in half. “Who are his parents?” he asked, setting the paper and crayon on the play desk. “Uncle Bom?” “Noooo,” she teased, raising her eyebrows in that expectant way. “Uncle Shik?” “Noooo,” she sang. “…Grandpa?” “No!” Joomi blurted out in a laugh, shaking her head. Adam’s eyebrows furrowed as he thought, then his mouth dropped. “No way… Uncle Mung?” “Yes,” she nodded. “Poor guy, that’s gotta be a dull household,” he snorted, setting Little Boja in the desk’s seat, facing the paper and crayon. Joomi sent him a confused look, and he scoffed, “He’s silent!” “Ohhh,” she hummed with a smirk, shaking her head as she set the table. “I suppose you did not get to see much of him.” “I saw plenty,” Adam commented warily as he climbed into the high chair, curious as to what she knew that caused such a wide gap in their perceptions. “But heard nothing.” “Well, Uncle Mung is shy –” She was interrupted by Adam bursting out laughing, and she gave him a stern look that was undercut by her slight smile. She circled him, setting down his bowl of cereal, and kissed the top of his head. “Be nice.” “I am!” he objected as he picked up the spoon. “That was funny, Eomma!” “It wasn’t a joke,” she softly chided, grabbing his sippy cup of water from the counter before taking her seat next to him at the table. Adam raised an eyebrow as he took the cup and pursed his lips. “Shy, huh?” he probed, feeling slightly bad for laughing now, and took a large sip. “Yes, he does not like large gatherings,” she said with a fondness in her tone. Adam flashed a grin, piecing together that he and she aligned in that feeling. “Why didn’t he bring Jae-yung?” the blonde asked before taking a mouthful of cereal. “It is customary not to bring any other Adopted to the ceremony,” she replied while layering hot sauce on her hard-boiled eggs. She looked up in thought, pondering out loud, “Though I don’t quite know why.” “Psychology,” the blonde grumbled, kicking his legs awkwardly as he forced a spoon in his mouth so he didn’t have to explain. She raised an eyebrow and stared at him, waiting patiently for him to swallow. He sniffed, sheepishly smiling as he looked down at his bowl. “You’re so grateful it’s over that you bond with your new family. If there are other Littles there, you may bond with them over the tra – experience…” “Was that your experience?” she asked as she tilted her head, trying to get a good look at his expression. He shoved another mouthful, but once again, she waited patiently. “Well… yeah,” he admitted quietly, staring at what little of his reflection he could make out in the milk. “I mean, I liked the shaman and item part enough… but the, uh… before part…” “Oh, yes,” Joomi softly gasped as her eyes dropped to the table and she nodded knowingly. “That is fair.” They fell silent for a few minutes as they ate their respective breakfasts. Adam, overly confident that he had defeated the bib requirement by keeping it spotless enough times that she stopped using it, accidentally spilled milk on himself. This prompted Joomi to quickly clean it up and fasten the bib on him, which he groaned at and tried to protest by going on a hunger strike. Joomi grinned at him in delight as she grabbed his spoon, scooping up some cereal. “Then I think –” she began to tease in a sing-song tone. “No –” Adam warned, his eyes watching the spoon, having a bad feeling of where this was going. “We’ll have to –” “NO –” “Take off the plane aaaaand –” Joomi burst into a giggle as Adam slapped his hands over his mouth. She turned the flying spoon towards herself and ate the cereal, shooting him an exaggerated look of how delicious it was. He grinned at her goofy expression behind one hand as the other extended for his spoon. “No, I think I’ll finish yours,” she teased, grabbing another spoonful. “You can have the rest of my egg.” “But you ruined it!” he guffawed as he pointed to the half of the hard-boiled egg smothered in hot sauce. As he opened his mouth to follow it up, she made a whoosh sound as she shot the spoon into his mouth, and his face quickly shifted from surprised to annoyed, glaring at her… but he ate it all the same as she tittered. A hand returned to protect his mouth, and the other hand demanded his spoon back as he grumpily glared at her. “One plane,” she requested as she held up a single finger. “You got one already,” he muffled behind his hand, shaking his head. “Well, no, that was a stealth missile,” she mused as she reloaded the spoon and emphasized her held-up finger. He heaved a loud, beleaguered sigh and dropped his hand, opening his mouth. She immediately sang, “Here cooooomes the plane!” She beamed as she gently placed the spoon in his mouth, and he closed his mouth quickly, grabbing the spoon from her as she giggled, releasing it, and kissed his forehead. “Would you like to play with Jae-yung?” she asked before popping the egg into her mouth. “I would enjoy meeting him, yes,” Adam corrected, ignoring the flash of a smirk he saw from her as she took her empty plate to the kitchen. “Is it just him and Uncle Mung?” “No,” she replied cautiously, and paused at the sink. Adam swallowed his cereal quickly, staring at the sudden change in her posture. She turned around and gave him a long, serious look. “Agaya…” He froze, briefly glancing from side to side in confusion and wariness. “…Yes…?” “I don’t know what you’re used to, but,” she nervously tapped her fingers on the edge of the counter as she leaned against it. “Uncle Mung is married…” “…Ooookaaaay,” Adam replied awkwardly at the silence that followed and squinted at her, his confusion growing. “To a man,” she stated as plainly as she could. “…Okay?” he grimaced in confusion, unsure what was going on. “Okay,” Joomi nodded, still staring at him, assessing every movement and reaction of his. He blinked a few times at her in silence, but suddenly it truly clicked with him who she was talking about, and his eyes grew wide, and his mouth dropped open. “Wait, wait, wait – Uncle MUNG?” he bleated, and Joomi pulled her lips in, her face contorting with concern, and she nodded. A grin grew across his face. “Big, silent, and scary?” “He’s not scary, he’s shy!” she defended as her mouth dropped open. “Did he know enough words for the vow? Or did he just grunt his ’I do’?” he burst out laughing, picturing Mung knocking a man out as a proposal and dragging him home. “Agayaaa,” Joomi both warned and groaned, lifting her hands to hide her face. “Oh, come on!” he laughed, throwing his hands out to the sides. “I don’t think he said a single word to me – let me have this! Gay Uncle Caveman is hilarious!” “It’s not funny,” she protested weakly, shaking her head as she grabbed a wet towel and approached. He snickered, lifting the bowl of his cereal to his mouth and drinking the remaining milk. “He’s very sweet when you get to know him. I think you’ll like him when you see him with his family.” “Probably,” Adam nodded in agreement, leaning away from her as she assaulted his face with the wet towel, grimacing. She grinned as she removed the bib, grabbed the empty bowl, and tapped the high chair arm to release him. He lifted the neckline of the romper, using it to dry off his face. “Who’s his husband?” “Uncle Bak,” she replied with a warm smile as she cleaned up. “He’s very nice. He owns a floral shop.” “That tracks,” Adam grinned, cackling at the disapproving look she shot him as he jumped down from the chair. About halfway to his desk, he paused, reflecting on that exchange, then spun around and squinted at her. “Wait… does the family have an issue with them?” Joomi paused, staring down at the table and bit her lower lip, quietly admitting, “Some.” “Grandpa?” Adam rolled his eyes. “No,” she replied very quickly, in a way to suggest that the guess was very wrong. “No, Father and Uncle Mung get along very well.” “Then who -” “Let me clean up, agaya,” she interrupted quickly, as she did when she was uncomfortable, and motioned in the direction he had been walking. He arched an eyebrow and turned to Boja, who shrugged slightly, so he returned it and walked over to his desk, grabbing the paper and crayon. “Hey, can you lower the crib gate?” he asked, glancing over to Boja, who tilted his head. “Why?” “I need to get close enough to copy the scroll,” he explained as he held up the blank paper. “Why?” he repeated with a slight enough change in tone to indicate it wasn’t a glitch. “Because.. I’m… going to translate it?” Adam stumbled in his confusion, squinting at the tiger. “You know this.” “Yes,” Boja replied, and his eyes flashed. “But you’re going about it wrong.” On the wall, a digital scan of the scroll’s writing appeared at Adam’s height, and the letters, which were highly stylized calligraphy, were reformatted into a more legible font. “Whoa!” Adam gasped, dropping the paper and crayon as he walked over to the wall. “Cool!” “You can zoom in on the sentences,” Boja explained, adjusting his position to face him. “Like on a normal touch screen. Tap the words to hear it, double-tap to see the transliteration.” “This isn’t cheating?” Adam glanced over his shoulder back at his mother. “If it is, it’s her fault. She made it,” the tiger mused, though his volume dropped considerably in hopes of not being heard. “I can hear you,” she grinned at him from the kitchen, and Boja’s ears flattened. “Okay, so…” Adam zoomed in on the top of the scroll and tapped the first word, his eyes widening and his mouth opening in pure joy as the word was clearly enunciated for the whole room. He immediately tapped it twice to see the transliteration into Albionic letters, and he sounded it out slowly, then played it again. “How do I get the translation?” “From a dictionary,” the tiger answered dryly, chuffing when Adam glared at him. “When you can speak it well enough, the translation will automatically appear.” “Oh, shit, really?!” “Adam!” Joomi chided loudly from a completely different room, causing the blonde to jerk in surprise and spin around, confused by her lack of visual presence. “How did you hear that?!” “It doesn’t matter!” she replied from her mystery location. “Okay, that’s fair,” he snorted, rolling his eyes to Boja as he dropped his volume to grumble, “Capable of working with her on advanced technology, but can’t ffffudging swear.” Boja chuckled. Adam got about two words into the first line in about twenty minutes when Joomi re-entered the room, setting a shoebox down on the coffee table and sitting on the couch with a book. He glanced at the shoebox, then to her, then back to his wall. It took him thirty minutes to get to the end of the sentence, and he tapped on his chin. “Always open the book,” he read, and he raised an eyebrow. Glancing at Boja, he pointed to the line. “What’s your interpretation?” Boja stared at him for a good, long beat before replying, “I think it means you should always open books.” Joomi snickered and lifted the book she was reading to hide her face. Adam couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head as he waved a dismissive hand at the tiger and turned to the coffee table, peering curiously at the shoebox. He pursed his lips as he looked over at his mother, who still held the book up to hide her face, and he pointed to the shoebox. “What’s in there?” She peeked over the top of her book and smiled. “Are you taking a break?” she asked as her eyes motioned to the translation work. He glanced over at it, then to the shoebox, and let curiosity get the better of him. “Yeah,” he nodded. “Okay,” she softly replied, placing a bookmark in her page and setting the book down on the coffee table, taking the shoebox with her. She patted the couch next to her, and Adam climbed up, scooting close to her. “These are old family photos,” she explained as she placed her hands on the lid, staring down at them with reverence. “Some are very old, with faces I never knew. But some are of your grandfather and his brothers, of my grandparents… and my mother.” Adam made a noiseless gasp; he couldn’t believe he had forgotten, and as he looked up at her with a smile on his face, he noticed a shift in her expression. She tilted her head down for a long moment, and slowly, with great care, she removed the lid. He stiffened up to his full height to get a better look in, seeing a somewhat messy collection of loose photos strewn about, sitting atop what looked like old, yellowed newspaper. She respectfully handled the photos, taking great care and time to sort through them, pulling out the relevant ones and setting them in her lap. She pulled one up and smiled, handing it down to Adam, who took his cue from her and handled it with a delicate touch. He knew it was Kang and his brothers immediately. It was a photo of four young boys sitting on the edge of a short stone wall (well… short for them). Kang looked about ten, sitting on the far right in the photo, wearing a school uniform and beaming brightly at the camera. To the left of him was Bom, though without the rotund face, Adam could barely make out that it was him. But his personality belied his identity, as his wide-open, missing a few teeth, smiling mouth indicated he had always been rather boisterous. He, too, was in a school uniform and was holding his brown bag lunch rather prominently. Next to him was the much shorter Shik, who looked to be about four and was already showing off his half-grin. He was holding up Mung, who was a very chubby baby and looked like he wished he were anywhere else but being forced to stand for the photo. The two youngest were in casual clothing, and Adam suspected it was a ‘first day of school’ photo for the eldest two. He smiled at it. Despite knowing who they grew up to be and what they did for a living, it was nice to see them at a time when they were innocent and happy. She handed down a few more of the four of them at varying ages, then a somber one. Kang looked about 16, and Mung maybe 10; all four boys were in all-white, very simple and traditional robes that almost looked like gowns, alongside an older woman dressed the same. Adam looked up at Joomi, who was giving a sad smile. “This is my grandmother,” she pointed to the woman. “This is at my grandfather’s funeral. This style has gone out of fashion now, but the closest mourners used to wear traditional all-white robes, representing the purity of their grief.” “What happened?” he asked as he looked back down at the ages of the boys, frowning; there was never a good time to lose a parent, but this struck him as particularly rough. Four boys, all old enough to have bonded with and remember their father, but all decidedly still children. “He…” she trailed off as she pressed her lips together. “He owed the wrong person a lot of money.” Adam paused as he stared at the photo; he had long assumed the Ma family’s mafia connections were old, but perhaps not in the way he had originally thought. “As in… he owed someone… like grandpa now?” he stumbled through the question, hoping to ask it just right so that she might actually answer him and not awkwardly move onto the next topic. In the pause, he looked up at her again, and she slowly nodded. He sniffed as he looked back at the photo and brought it a little closer to his face to stare at the teenage Kang’s face. He looked focused. “Ah, here she is,” Joomi softly smiled as she held a photo up to view herself before handing it down to Adam. Lying the other photos in his lap, he took this one with both hands and looked upon two figures in the center. It was a wedding photo in the traditional Goryeo style. The man was Kang, in his young 20’s, wearing a blue overrobe with a large golden belt, and he was standing next to a much smaller woman, easily a Tweener, as the top of her head looked to hit about his armpits. She was wearing a beautiful red layered dress with many other accented and bright colors, reminiscent of the shaman’s garb. She was beaming. Adam smiled, surprised that Kang had married a Tweener at one point in his life, then felt confused and looked up at his mother. “Wait… who is she?” “That’s my mother: Naji,” she replied, pointing to the short woman. Adam blinked at her, looked down at the photo again. He brought it a little closer to his face, noting her brown eyes, Kang’s brown eyes, and, of course, height. Joomi had, thus far, towered over everyone else in the family. Though differentiating the height differences between giants could be difficult for the Little, he had estimated that Shik was the tallest of the brothers by a slim margin over Mung, and Joomi was a full head taller than him. It was easy to forget, as she frequently sat when amongst company, and her demure personality often made her presence in a room feel small, but Adam remembered being able to look down at some people when he was in her arms during the reception. “Wha…” he started as he leaned back. He could see the resemblance. There was little doubt that Joomi did appear to be the daughter of these two people, yet key details were not aligned. “H-how?! She’s so tiny!” “She was much taller than you!” Joomi giggled as she put her hand on his hip and pulled him towards her for a side hug. “Well, yeah, that’s not a high bar in this family,” Adam laughed as he once more looked between her and the photo. “Eomma, this doesn’t - how is - you’re …” “I know,” she soothed with a chuckle, setting aside the shoebox. “The only person who would ever talk to me about my mother is Uncle Mung… Father gave me the photos and told me some things when I was old enough, but I could always tell it caused him great sorrow to talk about her.” She sighed as she looked at the photo. “Your grandfather was… growing in his business,” she stumbled, careful to navigate the topic, and Adam nodded knowingly. “Ascending the ranks, working hard. The, um, business… has never been quite friendly to…” He looked up at her, and she hesitated, then motioned her hand to indicate a shrinking height. “Smaller folk?” Adam offered with a soft laugh. “Yes, smaller folk,” she warmly repeated, patting his hip. “Yet Uncle Mung says Father was very bold about my mother. He introduced her to everyone, he brought her to every event… he wasn’t shy or ashamed… he was proud. But when she became pregnant with me, he worried about my future…” She bit her lower lip and looked to the shoebox, gently pushing aside a few photos as she searched for another, continuing the story. “He sought out genetic manipulation to enhance my chances to be closer to him in height than her,” she continued, frowning as she found what she was looking for. “But the science at the time was quite new… and risky. And terribly inaccurate.” She chuckled as she looked at Adam, pointing to her blue eye, before her gaze fell to her hand. She paused for a long moment, staring at it as her face seemed to drain of light. The blonde frowned, and as he shifted his body, she took in a breath, pulling from her thoughts, and looked at the shoebox. She took out the photo and handed it to him. It was another of Naji, with a very large pregnant belly. Adam felt both happy and sad looking at the photo, as she was beaming with joy at the camera, yet she looked positively drained and weak. “This is her, almost seven months pregnant with me,” Joomi stated quietly, and Adam’s mouth dropped. He wasn’t an expert on pregnancy by any means, but by her size, he had thought this photo was taken days before Joomi was born. “I… was too much for her. I grew too big, too fast… They ended up having to remove me prematurely, and she didn’t survive it… Uncle Mung says I barely did.” Adam held his breath for a moment as he stared at what he presumed was the last photo of her mother. He felt a great sadness come over him for everyone, even Kang. He leaned against Joomi as he looked between the two photos, realizing why this was a sore subject and she had resisted showing these to him when everyone was around. “What… was she like?” he asked as he looked at her face between the two photos, a smile tugging at his lips; she looked so happy in both. “It’s been a while since I asked,” she answered softly. “We can ask Uncle Mung and Bak when they bring Jae-yung. They like talking about her.” “Uncle Bak knew her, too?” “Oh yes,” she smiled as she looked at the shoebox. “They all got along very well, so I’ve been told.” She pulled a photo of four people: Kang, Naji, Mung, and a fourth individual that Adam didn’t yet know. They were dressed up in semi-formal attire, all holding drinks in their hands, and smiling at the camera, arm-in-arm. “This is Uncle Bak, before they married,” she explained as she pointed to the fourth individual. “Uncle Mung supported Father in marrying my mother, which I understand was somewhat controversial… and my parents strongly and openly supported Uncle Mung and Bak when they… mmm, revealed themselves, to the family. They have been close ever since.” Adam smiled at that photo. It was the best Kang and Mung looked, as far as he knew. The happiness and lack of stress in their faces was infectious, though there was a sadness beneath the joy he felt looking at the photo, knowing what was to come. He reached out for the photo and looked up at her. “Can we make a copy of this?” “Sure,” she said quickly, running a hand over his hair. “What for?” “I’d like to put it in my room,” he replied with a smile. “They all look so happy. It’s how I want to think of them.”

So glad you're enjoying it. Yes, I'm trying to 'explore' how a mild-mannered individual is slowly discovering that he's not quite what he's always thought of himself. He has a way to go, but they're getting there... together.

Well it's 43 years since I started wearing diapers again,  admittedly periodically,  and 43 is a lucky number so... maybe I need a new picture here. I'll work on that. Maybe that can be a new year's resolution. 

You know those posts saying "post your xth image with no context"? One day that might be a diaper,  and I'm not that brave.

Jahannam