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Defining Diaper Moments


D_Rainger

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Defining Diaper Moments

At the risk of being redundant or re-hashing old posts, I thought I might start this thread in the DL section.

There are circumstances and experiences that define us as Diaper Lovers. I thought it would be interesting if we shared some of these moments in our lives to help us understand ourselves and also each other in our community.

Here are some things that might be considered defining moments:

1. Earliest diaper memory

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

6. The first time you wore

7. The first time you bought

8. Discovering that there are others like you

9. Being ridiculed

There are probably many other things that constitute defining moments, I would be interested to hear what they are.

-D R

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When I was seven years old I had a defining moment. It was 1961 and I was in the first grade. I was invited to a birthday party by a little girl in my class. My parents were very protective and I wasn't allowed to stay for very long. While I was there, something happened that has stayed with me all these years.

Let me set the stage: Little girls were encouraged to be more prim and proper in those days. They wore dresses. Little boys were supposed to be active so they played. The guests at the party included boys and girls. We played outside for the first few minutes we were there. One feature of the house was a set of cement steps down into the back yard. The steps had a pipe railing where it was possible to jump up and spin completely around the bar and land on your feet. All the little boys were doing this. Much to our surprise, the birthday girl's older sister grabbed the bar and performed the same trick the boys were doing. I was standing within two or three feet of the railing, so I had a front-row seat to what happened. She had on a light colored party dress and full slip. I think the bows in her hair were blue. She had anklets and black patent-leather shoes. When she turned up-side down, her dress naturally came clear giving anyone close by a fine view of her underclothes.

Now, I have always been a fan of the up-skirt. Girl's panties facinate me. But, this was something completely new. When the girl's sister went bottoms-up, I could clearly see that she was wearing plastic pants. They were a translucent milky white and had blue polk-dots on them. I remember thinking how remarkable that was. I must have stood there in amazement, for when the little girl touched ground, she rounded the railing and slapped me for "seeing." I recall not caring or even feeling the slap for I was dumbfounded. Why was a "big girl" wearing plastic pants? She was eight or nine at the time. Secondly, I felt a kinship with her. I wished I could wear them too and know what it felt like.

Many years have passed since that day. I have often wondered about the circumstances of that sighting. Why was the little girl wearing plastic pants? Did she have diapers or training pants on underneath? Did she have some medical condition? Was she being punished? Did her mother think that she would get excited at the party and wet herself? Maybe the birthday girl had plastic pants on as well. I have never found the answers to those questions. My contact with them after the party was minimal.

These are things that fuel the imagination and shape us in our love of diapers. I remember the experience quite well and even at the age of seven knew that it was something that I liked.

-D R

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The Day I became a Diaper Lover :)

Since I was 5 years old I had a fascination with plastic pants. As I got older I would buy Salk incontinent pants, but drug stores were switching over to disposable adult diapers. Diapers didn’t particularly hold an interest, but when my local drug store no longer had incontinent pants, I thought I would give the Attends with the plastic inner lining a try.

Buying incontinent pants made my nervous, but buying adult diapers I though I would collapse on the floor. I must have made three attempts to make the "buy". I would go down the aisle and look at everything, but the diapers – then a quick glance when I felt no one was looking to read the information on the label. I finally decided it was now or never, I worked up my courage to pickup the bag and carry it to the counter when there were fewer people in the store. My heart was pounding, my hands were sweating. It was less scary to jump out an airplane for the first time than buying diapers. I made it thought the purchase with only minor hand trembling (it was hard to get the change back in my wallet) and got the diapers home. Wondered what I had gotten myself into.

I opened my first diaper and the fragrance was overwhelming (love those old Attends). Maybe this diaper thing was okay. Fumbled a lot with getting it taped up, but eventually got a nice snug fit. I just couldn’t help but enjoy the feeling, it felt so right, this was the proverbial "IT". That was the defining moment when I became a true DL.

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The first time I knew I was a diaper lover was soon after the internet became publicly available. I stumbled upon a site for my first fetish, enemas.

That site was AuntBecki.com or something like that and it had lots of enema pictures and one in particular was of a cute young lady wearing a diaper with an enema hose snaked inside her diaper. I was instantly hooked and the rest is history.

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It is really great that you took the step and created this thread D_Rainger!!! :thumbsup::thumbsup:

I, myself being a DL and 18 years old, still very well remember all the crucial moments that are bound to me being a DL. As I wrote in my introduction, the re-emerge of my liking of diapers began when I saw a real baby diaper on a doll that my cousin and I were playing with 7 years ago. This event woke up in me the utter fascination with diapers. At first I passively liked to watch diapers wherever I could (in drugstore isles etc.) but I never really got to see a baby wearing a diaper for some time afterwards.

As I was reading SWet’s post I suddenly realized that I also had a tremendous nervousness when I looked at a diaper bag, I also waited (and still do as a matter of fact) when there is no one in the isle and then I grab it and just hold the bag in my hands. This changed when I was 14 and I actually went into the store and bought a pack of diapers… but I was so nervous when I was buying them that I too, almost collapsed. But I didn’t become a DL right afterwards. It took another 3 years for me to personally accept this “diaper thing”, it was when I discovered that there are other people out there that share the same experience as I did. This was the defining moment for me, when I read the article about infantilism on the computer at my grandmothers house. I became absolutely shocked and felt really bad for 3 days… just so much things I didn’t understand, etc.

Also one other time I really became fascinated with Pull-ups as a diaper brand was when I was at a cottage of my family and this little boy (a son of one of the uncles) was about 4 and I could see that he was wearing a training pant. I secretly made my way up to the bedroom and searched a drawer and found a pull stock of boy Pull-ups! I was so excited, but I managed to hold my emotions.

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My first experience with diapers was when I was about 8 or 9. I played with the girl next door (a year or so older than me) a lot and we used to dress up. My mum had a stash of material that she used for all sorts of things around the house and I got hold of a lot of net curtains. I cannot remember whose idea it was but my friend and I played with these curtains. she dressed me up in one as if it were a diaper - knotted at the sides. we used to use a lot at once to get the thickness. after i was wearing it we went on as usual in playing until she started treating me like a baby and giving me her doll's bottle to suck on and asking if i needed changing. so thats how it went after that whenever we played indoors at my house. sometimes i would put the baby bottle in my knickers to look like a penis too. i did not really think much of it at the time.

sometime after that i saw a programme on tv about male adult babies who went to this woman to be treated like a baby. the programme made me feel guilty and dirty - at that time i did not know the difference between AB and DL. I did not know there were people who just liked diapers.

for years i have handmade diapers and worn them in private - never wetting. always feeling dirty and guilty.

when i was 18 i worked as a carer and the woman i worked for used incontinence products. i found statshed in a cupboard some adult diapers that she had tried and did not like so never used. she used pads with stretch pants. i stole some of these diapers and used them at home. it was the first time i had ever used a real diaper and i loved it. i knew i could not steal too many or it might be noticed. i left that job before my using got more serious. not because of what i was doing - i wanted to travel with my ex and had saved up enough by then.

since then i have done the hand made thing again - i never thought about buying my own. i thought that they were only available for medical reasons. i was very naive and did not think shops would sell adult diapers.

this summer i found adult diapers in a shop and bought them. i went straight to the public toilets nearby and put one on. then i continued my shopping. it was fantastic!!! since then i have been buying and using at home as well as out. no more handmades for me.

it has taken me years to overcome the shameful dirty feeling and be ok with what i like doing. i suppose the defining moment was playing as kid with that girl next door. i have never forgotten that or her. since i have had good access to the internet i have searched for other people like me - they are hard to find. all the sites i came accross were for ABs and that is not what I want. I am so glad that I have found people here and I feel at home.

Only one other person knows this story.

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1. Earliest diaper memory The earliest memory dates back to when I was five when I was hospitalized, I remember walking into a room separated from the main childrens ward, My mother was talking to a women whos son was severely disabled, as I walked in remember seeing a packet of huge blue nappies beside the bed and being completely fascinated with them. I just really wanted to try one on. I did not really have the understanding at the time as to what the feeling ment.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers Around about 9. By this time I was on a Full Care Order and living with a foster family who also fosterd a two year old girl who was still in nappies. I remember the first time I tryed one of her nappies on and the enjoyment and security I felt from it. That night was the first time I did not feel the to cry myself to sleep. I remember secretly stealing and wearing them at night untill the foster lady found them under the bed. I think at this point I had a strong emotional attachment to them. They soon kicked me out.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings The first day I started at the local special school. I was moved to a new foster family who thought it was a good idea to exaggerate my emotional and behaviour difficulties so they could claim more money from social services. I was soon placed in a special school which I loved. I only had four other class mates. There was a boy who was fecally incontinent in the other class next door. Somtimes his classroom helper used to help in my class. Everytime he had a accident his teather would send sombody to inform the classroom helper Dale needed his nappy changing. I was so jealous!

4. Times you have been caught or exposed By this time I was stealing Dales nappies and taking them home. He used Attends pads but because he was bigger them me the pads where very large so felt more like a nappy without any tapes. This is when I first experimented with wetting and messing. The feeling was absolutely amazing. Being 11 I really did not think about the consequences of messing them, So after I had messed them I used to hide the used nappys in my room hoping the foster lady would not find them, she soon did. She thought I was deliberately pooing and hiding them purposely to get at her. She soon kicked me out after the 3rd time. I was then moved to a new placement who at the time was seen by social services as the place they dump kids who have severe behaviour problems. They was very old school and strict. I continued to steal nappies from school and continued to wee and mess them. They soon found out but unlike all the other foster familys they sat down and talked to me about why I felt the need to wear nappies. I later learned they and social services thought I had been sexelly abused and thats why I felt the need to wear nappies. I told them nothing. Things soon changed when the other foster child left so I became the focus of the foster dads anger problem.

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Good idea for a thread, D_Rainger.

I'll probably think of other things later, but here's the first one that comes to mind. It was a small thing, not particularly important in itself, but it stuck really vividly in my memory and has come back to my mind often. I was in first grade, six years old--the youngest in my class, and always a little behind the other kids socially--and there was one little girl in my class who particularly disliked me, and often said mean things to me and about me. One day I was drinking from the water fountain, and she came over to get a drink too, and as I stood up she gave me this withering, distateful look and said, "You wear diapers."

Well... I didn't, in those days. But I had been fascinated with the idea of wearing diapers--wondering what it would feel like--for years, ever since I was about three. And when she said that, I felt this intensely powerful mix of feelings, like an electric shock. I'll try to explain them in words, but at the time there weren't words; it was just a huge wave of feelings.

First of all, I felt strongly, and maybe for the first time, that my desire to wear diapers was something "normal kids" shouldn't have, and I was humiliated and ashamed.

Second, I was frightened that she had somehow seen through me... that she knew that I had this desire. Or anyway, that she knew I had some secret. (I probably blushed beet red.)

Third, I felt really powerless. I loudly yelled back at her that no I did not! wear diapers, but it seemed like she'd already won at that point. She had powerfully affected me by saying what she said; I knew it and she knew it--I could tell from her smirk that she knew it--and in that moment it gave her power over me.

Fourth, I had the distinct impression that that power was exactly what she was after, that she liked it, and that was why she always put me down. In a way, she actually liked me, though she probably wasn't aware of it herself. I gave her something she needed when I reacted to her put-downs the way I did.

And fifth, I was--as much as a six year old can be--incredibly turned on by all of this. Her withering glance and belittling tone of voice and the feelings of humiliation and powerlessness imprinted themselves on me and became the pattern for a lot of sexual fantasies I had later on in life.

I wonder whatever became of her. And what she'd think now, if she knew she'd had such an effect on the life of some guy she most likely doesn't even remember. :)

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1. Earliest Diaper memory

That would be playing with a pair of Rubber Pants that I had found in the airing cupboard with them having just been washed after my sister had used them.

2. The first time you realized you liked them.

That was I believe the moment my liking of them became just that !

3.Unique or memorable Diaper sightings.

Once when going to view a house we could not afford I noticed in the adjacent garden that there were 4 or 5 pairs of "Sandra" "drop down pants" on the washing line.

4.Times you have been caught or exposed.

My Mother was always going through my room with a fine toothcombe and found a pair of Rubber Pants I had stolen from the airing cupboard-boy did I get a lecture about it being "filthy and disgusting" to wear "Nappies" when I had no need to !!!

5. When you have confessed or told someone.

Well this is it !!

6.The first time you wore.

I think it was very soon after "liberating" the Rubber pants from the airing cupboard, probably that same day !

7.The forst time you bought.

Whilst on holiday in Scotland when I was about 6 years old I think as it was our last day and the small local shop had "Baby pants" on the front counter and I just had enough money left to buy one-I figued that no tales could be told as we would soon be gone.

8.Discovering that there are others like you.

Whilst at work having just left school, a mate handed me a little "porno mag" and the letters page had "I am a6 foot 6inch 18 stone Rugby player but find myself desperate to wear a Nappy"-that has always stuck in my mind word for word-I was not alone !

9.Being ridiculed.

I think I have kept my secret as I am not aware of any one taking the mickie out of me !! unless you know otherwise !

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I asked my mom to put me back in a diaper when I was 3 or 4 years old. That's one of my earliest memories, period. She did, two or three times, actually.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

I suppose sometime before I made the request referenced in #1.

(no interesting answers to 3 or 4)

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

The first time was when, at age 6 or so, a playmate of mine and I stole a couple of his little brother's diapers, put them on, and used them. I still wonder where that kid is today, and if he's a DL now, too.

The next (and last) time, I was 26 and married, and finally told my wife. Amazingly, I'd gotten away with surfing this site and others, and wearing occasionally, and she never had any idea.

6. The first time you wore

Again, the time mentioned in #1. Mom pinned me into one of my old cloth diapers. My dad mocked me. Mom did that for me maybe once or twice more before deciding she was uncomfortable with it. Which was about the time I met that other kid and we started nicking his brother's diapers.

7. The first time you bought

But the first time I wore a real disposable as an adult was when I was in college, and at an internship in Raleigh, NC. I called in sick one day for the express purpose of buying myself a pack of diapers. I was excited to the point of panicked hyperventilation just buying them. I was really dissappointed when I got home and found the kind I got had clothlike covers. I went back out, to a different store, and got some Attends. I was pretty happy with that purchase.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

Aside from that one other kid back in the day, I assumed I was alone until college, and found DPF and a few pic sites on the early internet.

9. Being ridiculed

Just by my dad, during those very early times. Amusingly enough, earlier this year, during a conversation about crazy things little kids do, he told me about how I had done that, assuming I wouldn't remember. I played it off.... for his benefit.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

Well this is kinda weird being as i didn't stop wearing diapers till i was 13(late potty training i guess?)

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

When i got the internet and found other adults wearing diapers

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

when i went to camp and this one guy in my cabin was in a wheel chair(being the camp were handicaps were allowed) and had to wear them cause i remember seeing his bag open under the bunk one night i came in early

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

well ive only been caught once and that was when my step parents went on vacation or what ever and my step mom's mom came to live with us and she wore them for a medical condition;so that day i decided to try one of hers on since we were about the same size or what ever but for some reason the next morning her sister came over unannounced and i was in the bathroom just a diaper on and she saw me as i was coming out witch my dumb ass should have wore some pj's over it so i wouldn't have gotten caught

6. The first time you wore

the week after my step mom's momma came to live with us

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I remember wearing them when I was a baby. I wore them till I was three years old. I enjoyed wearing them and liked how they felt and then they started to feel real uncomfortable so I quit.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

I was nine years old when I wanted to wear them again.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

I went to a special school when I was little what was for toddlers with development delays. Some of them wore diapers, when I was six and seven, there was a girl in my class who wore. Back then I didn't really care or was facinated by it because I wasn't into them. But when I was 11 and 12, there were two kids in my school who were in wheel chairs and they wore diapers. I envied them. Now I wish I didn't envy them. Would I want to live my life in a wheel chair and one of them couldn't even talk or do anything because of a spinal cord injury the kid suffered.

I remember being at a fair ground when I was 13 and there was this little girl who looked about seven or eight and it looked like she had on a diaper.

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

I took a picture with me wearing one when I was 17 using my Dad's camera and he found the picture on it because I had forgotten to delete it. Few months later, I hid one of my Depends Refasenable underwear under my bathroom sink and one day my mother was looking under there for something and she found the diaper. I think I've been caught in them at work because I left the stall with no pants on but no one has said anything.

I have left diapers in my room out in the open for anyone to see and I think my little brother saw them but didn't say anything.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

My parents when they found out, my first boyfriend, few of my non diaper online friends, my shrink.

6. The first time you wore

I found out this year I started to wear when I was in 6th grade. My mother told me.

7. The first time you bought

When I was 17

8. Discovering that there are others like you

I was on AOL and I was bored so I typed in diapers and did search and I found all these diaper loving and adult baby pages and I was real facinated by it.

9. Being ridiculed

My mother used to tell me it's sick and twisted and all those people were sick and twisted people. I was ridiculed by my first two boyfriends. My first one didn't like the fact I liked wetting in my diapers and keeping them on because he thought it would make me sterile. My second Bf had a problem with my baby side and my inner child and assumed me liking kid stuff was part of my baby side. I told him I liked that stuff before I became a baby. I told him I would still watch kid shows or like kid stuff and still be sleeping with a stuffed animal and my baby blanket if I wasn't an AB and he wouldn't believe me. He was very closed minded.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I was a bedwetter as a child. When I was 5, I had to stay with some relatives. While there I was pinned in cloth diapers at night.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

During the time I was at my relatives, I began to like wearing diapers.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

None...

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

My mom caught me once when I was 10 or 11. I had a thin pillow that I would pin on. She came into the room and asked where my pillow was. "I don't know." (yeah - great, original response!) She found my pillow, now off me but still pinned and asked if I was using it as a diaper. "NO" (another great, believable response!)

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

My first wife and my current wife

6. The first time you wore

I experimented with the aforementioned pillow and some blankets. About 10 years ago I made my first one.

7. The first time you bought

I have been buying cloth diapers for about 8 years.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

When doing a search for diapers about 11 years ago on the web.

9. Being ridiculed

Hasn't happened. I now wear cloth diapers every night with the support and acceptance of my wife.

CDL

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8.Discovering that there are others like you.

Whilst at work having just left school, a mate handed me a little "porno mag" and the letters page had "I am a6 foot 6inch 18 stone Rugby player but find myself desperate to wear a Nappy"-that has always stuck in my mind word for word-I was not alone !

Wow, now that you mention that... I'd totally forgotten about it, but once, when I was maybe 13, a friend of mine and I found a stash of porno mags in the woods. We divided them up and took them home. Among the stuff I got, there was a copy of "Penthouse Variations", which was entirely "letters" detailing supposedly true fetish experiences. One of them was about a guy whose wife discovered he was into diapers and forced him to wear 24/7, even to work.

Yeah, that set me off to pinning towels around myself at night and pretending they were diapers, for months afterwards.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I was a bedwetter as a child. I was allowed to wear disposable baby diapers until I started 1st grade... my little bro(1 yr younger) was allowed to wear them too, I don't know if he wet them or not.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

Since I wet until 15 I then wore goodnites (the good old days when they were bigger). I would wet them on purpose before i fell asleep

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

I don't remember any

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

I haven't been caught yet, I hope that I won't be. But i guess it's only a matter of time.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

I have not told anybody, outside this forum system.

6. The first time you wore

I wore from age 7-14(goodnites), birth-6 baby disposables (at night only from 2 or 3)

7. The first time you bought

In college, I came up, and on a weekend i was alone, i bought a package of boy's goodnites. i wore them all week, even when a friend was staying with me(only at night), he was in a different room.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

when surfing the net when I got to college

9. Being ridiculed

It has not happened since i have not been caught, but if caught I suppose it would happen.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I very vaguely remember back when I originally wore them, but I may be remembering myself imagining it, if that makes sense... I think I also remember wearing disposables at my grandparents' even though I wore cloth at home. In kindergarten, I went to an afterschool program that had some younger kids. One girl there wet herself and had to have a diaper put on her. you could see it under her dress. that made me want to try one for the first time.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

From around 6-8 I would make them out of blankets when I was supposed to be asleep. After that I would try trashbags while my mom was out.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

Don't really recall seeing that many other than the one mentioned above. One time I was wearing a pullup style at work and a co-worker mentioned diapers to me. I couldn't tell if he knew or what. He also occasionally smelled like powder, but I never said anything to him.

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

Once when I was little, I made too much noise and my parents came down to my room and saw me with a blanket under my pjs.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

The first person I told online was someone I'd never talk to or met, but e-mailed because I liked a story they had written. Turned out I actually worked with their dad, which was a strange coincidence. First time I told someone in person was my current girl, and she turned out to be cool with it.

6. The first time you wore

I think I took some spares left for my cousins at my grandparents. Later, I bought goodnights when they first came out and wore them all day.

7. The first time you bought

As above, about 13 years ago. The next year I got the courage to buy real disposable briefs.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

alt.sex.fetish.diapers in college.

9. Being ridiculed

Never happened.

oh, and to the above poster, Penthouse: Variations fueled my early explorations as well.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

I think I was 4 or 5. I remember watching my Aunt Cheryl change my cousin Amy (she had messed her diaper and remember thinking how it looked like chocolate ice cream)

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

I don't know. I have always liked diapers.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

Once I went with my mom to her doctors appointment and there was this woman there with her severly retarded son. Everytime he walked, you could hear the crinkle of his diaper.

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

I have never been caught.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

Yes, I told my ex-girlfriend (luckily, she kept it to herself)

6. The first time you wore

When I was in the 6th grade. We were livinh with my cousin and their son was 1 year old. I used to sneak diapers and wear them to bed. That was probably my first erection too.

7. The first time you bought

I was 16, they were Attends.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

Internet.

9. Being ridiculed

Never.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I first started getting interested in diapers when I was in college. However I have had a medical fetish since I was much younger and I always liked doing thing that were taboo or not something that normal should or get to do.

I was caught with them once by my roommate who came home and was putting things away. My closet was open and my big pack of depends was on the floor. I know that he saw then but he didn't say anything and just went about his business. I was so embarrassed, I was sure my whole floor would find out. Luckily no one ever said anythign and none of friends seemed to know.

The only person I've told is my girlfriend. She was open and accepting but doesn't like them herself. But she helps me feel less weird when she sees me diapered and wet. I like to wear them out in public when she doesn't know, wet myself and them whisper to her what I did. We both get a laugh because we know something no one else does.

The first time I wore a diaper since infancy, was again in college but it was not that great a story. Today however i wore diapers for the whole day for the first time. I've never done this before. I wore them to work and to my play rehearsal. It was great because I lost no time going to the bathroom. I don't know if I would do this on a daily basis but every now an then is great.

I bought my fist pack of Depends when I was a freshman in college. I didn't get them in high school, though I was curious, because I couldn't keep them at home. I remember I was terrified buying them. The Wal-Mart in my town is the second smallest in the world and the employees are pretty regular. Also it's a very small town and it's easy to run into people you know and have to see on a daily basis.

This website has really opened me up to the DL community and new things to try. Last night I discovered the banana trick and I have to say I loved it. I don't like to poop in diapers but I enjoy being messy and feeling "dirty". Perfect for me and I hope I can show my girlfriend some time and not completely scare her away.

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I'll never forget when I discovered there were other diaper lovers. It was in the early 1990s, while I was in college and still in my teens. In those days the internet was still in its infancy and USENET was the main source of news groups. One night I fired up my newsgroup reader. When it started up, it would list all of the groups that had been created since I last logged on. I quickly skimmed the list, and there amongst dozens of completely unrelated groups was listed alt.sex.fetish.diapers.

I was electrified, I was stunned, I nearly fell out of my seat! I had had an interest in diapers for as long as I could remember, but I had never acted on it. I just had a vague notion that I liked them. Simply seeing that phrase "alt.sex.fetish.diapers" suddenly crystallized the issue for me: then and there, I realized I had a fetish for them, and most amazingly, other people did too.

For weeks after that I was in a diaper-obsessed daze. Unfortunately I couldn't read the newsgroup, because my college banned it. I could, however, post to it, and other people read my posts and kindly sent me some supportive emails, including some diaper stories.

It was another couple of years before I bought my first pack of diapers, but that's another story! If I had never discovered that there were others out there, I doubt I would ever have acted out my fantasy of wearing a diaper. I would probably have always surpressed it.

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1. Earliest diaper memory

My memory goes back to age two, possibly a little earlier. I remember wearing our beloved old-school disposables very clearly. From family photo albums you'd think my parents had something against fully-clothed babies, because my sisters and I are pretty much always wearing nothing but a shirt and diaper. Even my rompers are left unbuttoned from the waist down so my diaper poofs through the opening. Well, in my late twos, I developed a sense of dignity literally overnight--I had a bizarre and alarming dream about being paraded around with my diaper exposed, from which I woke up screaming for my parents to put some pants on me. From that night on I was secretly, obsessively horrified of being seen in a diaper. The thought was also vaguely thrilling.

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

The aforementioned dream was still haunting me long after my potting training. I considered wearing a diaper the ultimate humiliation, yet I found the idea very fascinating. I would occasionally find old diapers lying around the house, and sometimes, when no one was around, I'd put one on and pretend to be a baby. Up until first grade, I would have my parents buy me diapers for make-believe. They seemed to think nothing of it, but I eventually became embarrassed and stopped asking for diapers.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

As a little kid, every time I saw a diaper I couldn't look away. When a baby was being changed in a public bathroom, for example, I'd just stare--trying to hide it, of course. When I visited a home with a baby, I'd secretly keep an eye out for the family's stock of diapers, longing to touch them or even to take one and put it on. I learned to exercise some serious self-control for a little kid.

There was a quite severely mentally retarded girl in my kindergarten class who "crackled" when she walked. One time I saw her bend over, and, sure enough, the tell-tale wide elastic waistband was peeking up over her pants. I also remember seeing a handicapped boy being changed in a lawnchair at the public pool, and not being able to resist staring out of the corner of my eye. It sounds kind of perverted now, but not as much as you'd think--I had no interest in seeing genitals or anything sexual; only diapers.

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

I hide my diapers in a trash bag full of old clothes in my closet. Once, I noticed the bag was untied, and this was after my sister had been poking around my room looking for costume pieces for Halloween. I hope to God it was just a coincidence.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

This post is actually my first confession...

6. The first time you wore

If you'd count them as diapers, I bought myself a pack of Poise Panties last summer. I put one on, then several at once, and spent a long time staring at myself in the mirror, walking, sitting and lying down, and just being in awe of that long-lost feeling of wearing something close to a real diaper.

7. The first time you bought

See above...shortly after, I decided I wanted a "real" diaper, so I braced myself and bought a pack of Depends (using the self-checkout, and buying a shirt at the same time to hide what was in my cart). Disappointed in how thin these were, but still very embarrassed about buying adult diapers (turns out an employee monitors self-checkout stations and sees everything you buy), I actually went to a pet store and bought DOG diapers as stuffers.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

When I got my own laptop two years ago, I starting to feel braver using search engines. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but I came across some literature about infantilism and diaper fetishism on the internet. The discovery was absolutely wonderful, and I'd spend hours poking around the internet.

9. Being ridiculed

Knock on wood...it hasn't happened yet. I guard my fascination closely, because I can't think of anyone I could trust to know about it and not ridicule me, even to his or herself.

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Welcome Aleia! That was a great post. Your early memories sound so much like mine... that strange and heady mix of emotions, diapers simultaneously being the ultimate humiliation, and yet fascinating and attractive at the same time. Wanting the humiliation, humiliated by the wanting.

And I used to watch other kids being changed, just like you. When I was in nursery school I always watched the teachers changing the younger kids and burned with envy. And later on when I was visiting friends who had younger siblings I'd always pick diaper changing times to make conversation with their moms. Once when I was 11 or so, I went into a public men's room at a park, and found a woman (who'd misread the sign on the door) changing her kid's pants--he was about three and a half, I guess, and he'd had an accident while playing at the playground, so she was putting him in pampers for the rest of the day. I suppose she must have thought I was waiting around for her to leave so I could use the facilities, but mostly I was just watching her and wishing it was me on the counter. :)

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I had an olfactory experience at about the age of four or five years old that had a profound impact upon me. I used to play with a little girl who lived across the street. She came from a large family and had younger siblings. I remember the odor of the nursery in their house. It was a combination of baby powder and soiled diapers. To this day when I think about that experience it's almost as if I can remember that smell. Several years later I would recall that experience and start thinking about diapers. It wasn't until I was 11 or 12 that I actually tried making a diaper. I was the youngest child so there were no diapers in the house for me to access. I was able to make a crude diaper out of a white hand towell. I would use three to achieve the desired thickness. I don't believe that early olfactory experience caused me to become a dl but I do think it was a sign of things to come. Now over 50 years later it is still etched in my brain.

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Defining Diaper Moments

1. Earliest diaper memory

I remember being on my back in daycare looking up at one of the caretakers. Was I being changed? I have no idea. I hope so!

2. The first time you realized you liked diapers

I was age 5, I think I found an old box of Pampers in a closet in the apartment. I tried putting one on. My mom laughed and then helped me. She must have thought it was cute. I just know that after that, I had this want to be in one.

3. Unique or memorable diapers sightings

I was 7 or 8. A girl who had a disability wore diapers and was in a wheelchair. I couldn't stop looking up the leg of her shorts whenever she was in the sandbox with us. I was so jealous she got to wear them!

4. Times you have been caught or exposed

Sleeping in bed with mom after a nightmare, I might have been 8 or 9. I had pulled a plastic bag up between my legs, as these were my "diapers". I fell asleep. She later in the night pulled the covers off me and said sternly, "Don't EVER do that again..." Mom's words could be so cutting.

5. When you have told or confessed to someone else

A girl I was dating. She was cool with it. The intro was less odd I guess since I'm in a wheelchair. I later told her how they do feel good to wear. She held a vibrator in my diaper many times making me cum.

6. The first time you wore

Same as #1, but when I really got to start enjoying adult diapers that fit me was when I was first in the hospital.

7. The first time you bought

In my early 20's.

8. Discovering that there are others like you

When I got the internets! lol

9. Being ridiculed

Never yet, but when I was 12 I was teased for wearing girls clothes.

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Hi Wheels,

She later in the night pulled the covers off me and said sternly, "Don't EVER do that again..." Mom's words could be so cutting.

Speaking as a dad, I'd guess she was talking about the plastic bag, not the "pretending to wear a diaper"... I know my kid is welcome to wear anything he likes, but I'd hit the roof if he fell asleep playing with a plastic bag!

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