The cons of having incontinence

[LiChBo]

Hey, everybody.
I've read quite a few threads on the topic - how to get incontinence, how to live with it, etc. But despite the fact that most of the community discourages people like me from getting incontinence.... I haven't found a single topic in which the disadvantages were clearly summarized point by point. 
A topic that could dissuade even the most involved person like me. 
Perhaps someone has already done this work on some forums, can you send links then? I've searched and haven't found the one.
Could those who have studied this issue on their own experience summarize here all the disadvantages, give examples from life, etc.?
I need it and I hope it will be helpful to others. 

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

[stevewet]

Cons 

Cost of nappies

Nappy rash 

Negative attitudes from some people

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

3 hours ago, LiChBo said:

Hey, everybody.
I've read quite a few threads on the topic - how to get incontinence, how to live with it, etc. But despite the fact that most of the community discourages people like me from getting incontinence.... I haven't found a single topic in which the disadvantages were clearly summarized point by point. 
A topic that could dissuade even the most involved person like me. 
Perhaps someone has already done this work on some forums, can you send links then? I've searched and haven't found the one.
Could those who have studied this issue on their own experience summarize here all the disadvantages, give examples from life, etc.?
I need it and I hope it will be helpful to others. 

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

Would you ask your dog groomer for financial advice? Would you ask me for car repair advice? Would you ask your auto machanic for advice on choosing a tiara or rubber panties (I wrote the books on both)? Then why are you asking the members of a FETISH SITE for advice with medical implications? Now, who WOULD you ask for medical-related advice if you thought it over in an adult fashion for 10 minutes or so? Would you comb your hair with a chain saw or try to cut down a tree with a comb?. Tell your doctor you want to become incontinent and ask him how to do so. Then tell us what you get. One of the cons not mentioned is "buyers remorse" when you get fed up with what hou have to go through in terms of cost and work to deal with what you so eagerly sought after. What is they say about "be careful what you wish for" and "the grass is always greener over the septic tank"?

[spark]

15 hours ago, LiChBo said:

Hey, everybody.
I've read quite a few threads on the topic - how to get incontinence, how to live with it, etc. But despite the fact that most of the community discourages people like me from getting incontinence.... I haven't found a single topic in which the disadvantages were clearly summarized point by point. 
A topic that could dissuade even the most involved person like me. 
Perhaps someone has already done this work on some forums, can you send links then? I've searched and haven't found the one.
Could those who have studied this issue on their own experience summarize here all the disadvantages, give examples from life, etc.?
I need it and I hope it will be helpful to others. 

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

I've a lot of discussions on the warnings to people who want to become incontinent, and most of it is based on personal opinion and not necessarily based on everybody's experience.  Most of those cons deal with people that have some medical condition that causes people to have no control over the elimination of urine or feces, and that's something that is best discussed by people who have experienced that.   This is where we hear that it is irreversible and the possibility of buyer's remorse in the incontinent desire sub-group.

Most of us on this board are attempting to become un-potty trained.   I don't think there would be anything physically stopping us from using the toilet, but we've conditioned ourselves to eliminate in a diaper rather than wait to do it in the toilet.  If you do that long enough, you get to a point where you should use protection because you aren't reliable enough to avoid an accident.

I finally reached that point with my bladder, and if I ever did choose to go without a diaper- I would risk having an accident.  If I slept without a diaper, I very likely would wet the bed, especially when I'm in that semi-groggy post-REM stage.   It's taken me a long time to get there, and I've lived with diapers for such a long time that I know all of the issues that come from me where diapers.  Let's just say, I've lived the life of diaper-wearing for about 7 years, and only been at the level for two years.  I'm also fully convinced that I could be potty trained again should I desire, but I have no desire to do that.

Aside from cost, diaper rash, and stigma, I would add disposal to the list  You will either have a disposable diaper that needs to disposed, or a cloth diaper that needs to be cleaned.  That also creates an odor management problem.

[zzyzx]

17 hours ago, spark said:

I finally reached that point with my bladder, and if I ever did choose to go without a diaper- I would risk having an accident.  If I slept without a diaper, I very likely would wet the bed, especially when I'm in that semi-groggy post-REM stage.   It's taken me a long time to get there, and I've lived with diapers for such a long time that I know all of the issues that come from me where diapers.  Let's just say, I've lived the life of diaper-wearing for about 7 years, and only been at the level for two years.  I'm also fully convinced that I could be potty trained again should I desire, but I have no desire to do that.

@spark:
That's the problem:

You say: "I'm also fully convinced that I could be potty trained again should I desire".  You don't actually "know".  I would say / claim that at this point you have probably screwed up your maximum functional bladder capacity to the point where you can't regain what you previously had, and if you had a desire to retrain, would probably fail.  No one really knows in advance where the point of no return is.  From the affects to the bladder from early on set BPH, I've tried to regain capacity....  Once the bladder wall thickens, that is a permanent change and will impact capacity (and related control) from then on.

[Enthusi]

For me, the biggest “con” of being diaper dependent is the long term risks associated with the lifestyle:  For most of us, as we age, our mobility worsens, our skin is more fragile, and we are more susceptible to potentially serious urinary tract infections.   It’s a perfect storm.  

In my opinion, anyone who desires long term incontinence and isn’t at least a little concerned about their risk for serious infection later in life, is foolish.  

[Kif]

19 hours ago, Enthusi said:

For me, the biggest “con” of being diaper dependent is the long term risks associated with the lifestyle:  For most of us, as we age, our mobility worsens, our skin is more fragile, and we are more susceptible to potentially serious urinary tract infections.   It’s a perfect storm.  

In my opinion, anyone who desires long term incontinence and isn’t at least a little concerned about their risk for serious infection later in life, is foolish.  

To add to this, medicines for urge incontinence don't yet have sufficient studies on their long term effects. While papers such as https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8851948/ demonstrate treatment is safe short-term (2-4 months), they also discuss and caution about the unstudied long-term effects w.r.t. dementia/cognitive decline. In one such discussion, that uncertainty is weighed against the therapeutic effects of the drugs:

"Another important consideration is the use of bladder antimuscarinics in some elderly or bedridden patients with cognitive impairment. In these patients, this treatment may not provide quality of life benefits because some of these patients are unaware of urinary loss and do not perceive the social impact of urinary incontinence, thus generally not compensating for the risk of using these drugs"

This is just one example, but there is a risk of being overmedicated if e.g. in a care situation that doesn't afford using diapers as a management strategy. (and of course, that could snowball into other problems)

[zzyzx]

4 hours ago, Kif said:

To add to this, medicines for urge incontinence don't yet have sufficient studies on their long term effects. While papers such as https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8851948/ demonstrate treatment is safe short-term (2-4 months), they also discuss and caution about the unstudied long-term effects w.r.t. dementia/cognitive decline. In one such discussion, that uncertainty is weighed against the therapeutic effects of the drugs:

There are two sets of medicine the Urologist has prescribed me that after the initial 90 day supply I told the urologist I'm not refilling this because of negative impact on playing Sudoku.  It is recognized as a potential but not well documented or in my opinion acknowledged.  And most men, if they live long enough, will have the "fun" of having one or both of these medications prescribed to them once prostate issues kick in as some of the less expensive alternatives that are typically tried.  I suspect some of the mental impacts we see in the elderly is a side affect of a few of the prescription medications.  This appears to now occasionally get studies or reviewed (such as the reference paper on the NIH site)  however it hasn't been well studied or acknowledged.  In one case the alternative drug class to the cheap drug is over $1000 for a 90 day supply, and my insurance dropped coverage of the more expensive drug while I was testing the new one.  (After trying the new one, I would not have continued the drug past the original planned test period since while I believe it did help me achieve one of my goals of getting back towards my previous maximum functional bladder capacity, it was not completely solving the main reason it gets prescribed for.   If you still need protection (diapers) while on a medication, just reduced frequency of usage, is the medication really worth the risk?)

[Enthusi]

5 hours ago, zzyzx said:

If you still need protection (diapers) while on a medication, just reduced frequency of usage, is the medication really worth the risk?)

Personally speaking, as my bladder muscles have weakened, everything down there feels so “uncoordinated.” I have noticed a gradual increase in dribbling an sluggish pee stream.  It’s not coincidental.  I am vaguely concerned that if things get too weak and uncoordinated I’m at risk for chronic urinary retention. In that case I would opt for meds in order to protect the kidneys.   But that’s all I got. 

[zzyzx]

30 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

Personally speaking, as my bladder muscles have weakened, everything down there feels so “uncoordinated.” I have noticed a gradual increase in dribbling an sluggish pee stream.  It’s not coincidental.  I am vaguely concerned that if things get too weak and uncoordinated I’m at risk for chronic urinary retention. In that case I would opt for meds in order to protect the kidneys.   But that’s all I got. 

I know one of the things my current Urologist checks on every visit is urinary retention.  While it is being monitored, it isn't an issue for me, so I don't know what would be recommended if that became one of my issues.  I agree that one needs to protect the kidneys from the impact of too much retention / volume held before release, and the increased UTI potential from retention.  Again, I don't know your risks, or what you may be doing to monitor for the risks.

[Dubious]

On 7/19/2023 at 11:12 AM, stevewet said:

Cons 

Cost of nappies

Nappy rash 

Negative attitudes from some people

People with incontinence often get free diapers.

Never had a diaper rash wearing 24/7. 

Doubt there is any negativity towards incontinent people. 

AFAIK, there is no downside to being urinary incontinent, if you already wear 24/7. 

[spark]

On 7/20/2023 at 11:17 AM, zzyzx said:

@spark:
That's the problem:

You say: "I'm also fully convinced that I could be potty trained again should I desire".  You don't actually "know".  I would say / claim that at this point you have probably screwed up your maximum functional bladder capacity to the point where you can't regain what you previously had, and if you had a desire to retrain, would probably fail.  No one really knows in advance where the point of no return is.  From the affects to the bladder from early on set BPH, I've tried to regain capacity....  Once the bladder wall thickens, that is a permanent change and will impact capacity (and related control) from then on.

I get what you're saying, but I didn't get here overnight.    I've worn 24/7 for 5 years, so I've chosen it.

As far as getting back what I had, I'm 6 weeks from my 54th birthday- and not in great health.   What I had before was the bladder of 30-year-old man with good knees and eyesight.  That ship has sailed.

The problem with trying to 'potty train' is that I'm no longer the little kid who has the incentive to be a big kid.  I want the opposite.

[zzyzx]

On 7/22/2023 at 3:45 PM, Enthusi said:

Personally speaking, as my bladder muscles have weakened, everything down there feels so “uncoordinated.” I have noticed a gradual increase in dribbling an sluggish pee stream.  It’s not coincidental.  I am vaguely concerned that if things get too weak and uncoordinated I’m at risk for chronic urinary retention. In that case I would opt for meds in order to protect the kidneys.   But that’s all I got. 

@Enthusi

After further thought on your comments, and I am not a doctor, the only things I've heard about for retention tend to be treatment with catheters (probably intermittent) or surgery (to cut the sphincter).   OK, I don't know if they have an effective drug to relax the sphincter for your potential concern.....  Have you investigated your options if it does head in the direction you are concerned about?

[stevewet]

On 7/23/2023 at 2:12 AM, Dubious said:

People with incontinence often get free diapers.

Never had a diaper rash wearing 24/7. 

Doubt there is any negativity towards incontinent people. 

AFAIK, there is no downside to being urinary incontinent, if you already wear 24/7. 

Free nappies you get some but not enough from the NHS

Nappy rash if you have never had it you are very lucky

Negative attitudes. On the whole most people are fine with it but I have had the odd negative comment.

Honestly I don't see incontinence as a big deal.

[Dubious]

Diapers in Norway is free. (and most of Europe)
I would get Tena Maxi for free. 

Would suck to become fecal incontinent, then I'm with you. 

[Enthusi]

21 hours ago, zzyzx said:

After further thought on your comments, and I am not a doctor, the only things I've heard about for retention tend to be treatment with catheters (probably intermittent) or surgery (to cut the sphincter).   OK, I don't know if they have an effective drug to relax the sphincter for your potential concern.....  Have you investigated your options if it does head in the direction you are concerned about?

I don’t know if meds either. I am hoping I’ll be a good candidate for surgery if it comes to that.