Love/hate Diapers?

[Kermatt]

Hi,

I can't decide if I want more "diapers", or should throw all of mine away.

Yesterday I threw some of them away, as a symbol of "I don't want them in my life!"

But I do want them.

I wish they weren't so expensive, but that's not the real issue. The real issue is whether it is emotionally worth it to wear them. I've often felt that wearing diapers provides physical health benefits for me.

Or is it just for fun?I've felt that diapers cheer me up, and I've felt that they depress me.

Am I the only one who has such a love/hate feeling about it?

Kermatt

[wayney]

I was there as well as so many others here. To be totally honest, I wish I still had that feeling. I can now wear when ever and where ever with out guilt. It kinda isn't as fun and or exciting as it was when I went through the emotions. I remember back in 1991 I bought a BOX of pampers XL. I was shacking so bad. I hide what I could in my car ( about half ) and threw the rest in a trash can on a Mt top. I went back the next day and got them out of the trash because I was freaking out that I thought I had to through them out. It was just a unique rush, wanting then not wanting. As I aged that feeling went away, mostly in part because my wife accepted it so well.

[Necare]

Nope, you are surely not alone when it comes to the love/hate feelings involved with nappies, all though personally I`m much, much closer to the hate-end of the scale, that is for sure. It is the old question of "If you could choose your fetish, would you want to be an adult baby?" My answer is a definite no, it is depressing as hell. I sincerely wish that I could embrace it wholly, I really do, but I`m so, so tired of trying, and it is really doing me in.

[Toddler Sissy]

The hardest part of coming to terms with this fetish is, as Necare put it, asking yourself "If I could stop loving diapers, would I?"

For years I've wrestled with this; I know I'm just a kid to many of the posters here, but, and I mean no offense by this, I've wrestled with these issues very young to avoid being older and just then coming to terms with my life. I spent my high school years lurking, hearing horror stories from others in their 40's and 50's saying how they wish they had dealt with it earlier, told their spouses sooner, regret after regret. Those who first knew me encouraged me to learn from their experiences, and I've tried to. After years of watching, listening, and learning, I've discovered that this fetish is a painful one. You don't need anyone else to know for that to be the case; all of us struggle with the love/hate relationship. We all go through our phases of adoring diapers and how they make us feel, then hating them for being a physical manifestation of the "wrongness" about us. They symbolize our fears and hatreds: the device through which we make ourselves freaks, weirdos, whatever disparaging term you think of when your hatred and shame runs hot.

Is it worth it? That's a tough question...for years I asked myself if I could get rid of it, would I? Would I erase it from my mind, make myself a regular, run of the mill vanilla guy? For me, the answer is no. I -like- how it makes me feel...I really do. I enjoy how just seeing a diaper sends a shiver of excitement down my spine; the sight of a baby bottle and a woman wickedly grinning as she moves towards me is so thrilling, leaves me with that squirmy, tingling feeling that I just can't get anywhere else. I finally decided to end my hate cycle...convince myself it was okay to feel this way, and embrace it. You don't have to start wearing every day, living 24/7 and gurgling and goo-gooing whenever possible to embrace it, just learn to stop the hate cycle when it starts. Force yourself not to throw anything out; carefully consider before you buy anything as well (a lot of purging can be kept in check by not giving into the desire to buy baby items on impulse).

Well, now perhaps you're thinking it's not worth it...you want to stop. If that's the case, I can't talk you out of it. I think it's a bad idea, but I also believe than any sexual desire can change with discipline: diaper fetishism, hetero- or homosexuality, you name it. The -real- question is do you have to do it? I don't believe anyone should change their sexual tastes if they're safe and sane and consensual: be gay, be straight, be an AB/DL, be anything you want! If you disagree and wish to change, know that you face an uphill battle. Many sexual preferences (like homosexuality, for instance) are hardwired into your brain since birth; it's the only way to explain how some of us have such tastes since childhood for no reason. You will have to get rid of everything, fight the urge to buy again, and train yourself to enjoy other activities, which will be nearly impossible since you're fighting your own body's desires and wiring.

Perhaps a better question to ask yourself is not "Is wearing diapers worth it?"...perhaps the real question is: "Is not wanting to wear diapers worth the effort to make it happen?". Rest assured though, there is no middle ground...if you don't resolve to end your diaper fetish for good, you will buy again, and wear again...and since you won't have accepted and embraced it, you'll only start the painful cycle anew. Love your diapers or leave them...but please, don't torture yourself by binging and purging. You deserve to be happy.

[LordOfKarma]

never trow stuff away .. if they're large enough 4 me ( 54'' waist ) then ill pay shipping and send em to me

[willow]

The hardest part of coming to terms with this fetish is, as Necare put it, asking yourself "If I could stop loving diapers, would I?"

For years I've wrestled with this; I know I'm just a kid to many of the posters here, but, and I mean no offense by this, I've wrestled with these issues very young to avoid being older and just then coming to terms with my life. I spent my high school years lurking, hearing horror stories from others in their 40's and 50's saying how they wish they had dealt with it earlier, told their spouses sooner, regret after regret. Those who first knew me encouraged me to learn from their experiences, and I've tried to. After years of watching, listening, and learning, I've discovered that this fetish is a painful one. You don't need anyone else to know for that to be the case; all of us struggle with the love/hate relationship. We all go through our phases of adoring diapers and how they make us feel, then hating them for being a physical manifestation of the "wrongness" about us. They symbolize our fears and hatreds: the device through which we make ourselves freaks, weirdos, whatever disparaging term you think of when your hatred and shame runs hot.

Is it worth it? That's a tough question...for years I asked myself if I could get rid of it, would I? Would I erase it from my mind, make myself a regular, run of the mill vanilla guy? For me, the answer is no. I -like- how it makes me feel...I really do. I enjoy how just seeing a diaper sends a shiver of excitement down my spine; the sight of a baby bottle and a woman wickedly grinning as she moves towards me is so thrilling, leaves me with that squirmy, tingling feeling that I just can't get anywhere else. I finally decided to end my hate cycle...convince myself it was okay to feel this way, and embrace it. You don't have to start wearing every day, living 24/7 and gurgling and goo-gooing whenever possible to embrace it, just learn to stop the hate cycle when it starts. Force yourself not to throw anything out; carefully consider before you buy anything as well (a lot of purging can be kept in check by not giving into the desire to buy baby items on impulse).

Well, now perhaps you're thinking it's not worth it...you want to stop. If that's the case, I can't talk you out of it. I think it's a bad idea, but I also believe than any sexual desire can change with discipline: diaper fetishism, hetero- or homosexuality, you name it. The -real- question is do you have to do it? I don't believe anyone should change their sexual tastes if they're safe and sane and consensual: be gay, be straight, be an AB/DL, be anything you want! If you disagree and wish to change, know that you face an uphill battle. Many sexual preferences (like homosexuality, for instance) are hardwired into your brain since birth; it's the only way to explain how some of us have such tastes since childhood for no reason. You will have to get rid of everything, fight the urge to buy again, and train yourself to enjoy other activities, which will be nearly impossible since you're fighting your own body's desires and wiring.

Perhaps a better question to ask yourself is not "Is wearing diapers worth it?"...perhaps the real question is: "Is not wanting to wear diapers worth the effort to make it happen?". Rest assured though, there is no middle ground...if you don't resolve to end your diaper fetish for good, you will buy again, and wear again...and since you won't have accepted and embraced it, you'll only start the painful cycle anew. Love your diapers or leave them...but please, don't torture yourself by binging and purging. You deserve to be happy.

Gripe 1:

The biggest problem is that your first question, "Could I?", isn't a question. It's very probably a fact, no, you can't stop.

Gripe 2:

You (and I) like diapers because they allow us to function and behave better than without them. That's like a smoker smoking because it makes them feel good. Both are probably false. You wear diapers to get 'normal' control. People smoke to raise their mood to 'normal'.

Gripe 3:

I'll go out on a limb here and say all this is not always hardwired in since birth, neither is homosexuality. It's a combination of genetics and experience. I for one am very susceptible to sexual imprinting. I could get aroused by an envelope if I masturbated for enough years looking at one. Aren't we weird? That's a good thing...

In the end we have to accept it. If we don't, we stand in front of the mirror each day and hate ourselves. We have as much chance of resolving this as gay people 'turning' straight. (Good luck!)

We're all damaged goods just trying to get through each day, and they're all we have to hang onto. We have to use them, but we have to also stop them using and abusing us (the balance argument).

I say get what you can from them, stand up straight and know your worth. Daily Diapers isn't a fetish promotion site, it's a support forum. Look at the cries for acceptance and love.

Diapers by their very nature suck self-esteem. That's what you have to fight. Be happy, I agree with you there.

[redneck diaper boy]

You may want to try cloth diapers and plastic pants. If you have a washer and dryer the cost is minimal.

Hi,

I can't decide if I want more "diapers", or should throw all of mine away.

Yesterday I threw some of them away, as a symbol of "I don't want them in my life!"

But I do want them.

I wish they weren't so expensive, but that's not the real issue. The real issue is whether it is emotionally worth it to wear them. I've often felt that wearing diapers provides physical health benefits for me.

Or is it just for fun?I've felt that diapers cheer me up, and I've felt that they depress me.

Am I the only one who has such a love/hate feeling about it?

Kermatt

[WallaWalla]

I'm really glad I got over this whole binge purge cycle when I was 18. I honestly like having them in my life, they're cute, I'm cute, and I look cute in them. It's a win-win situation financial burden aside.

[pctrasher]

The only real 2cents I can add to this convo is to take it in small pieces. Don't binge and only wear when you feel you should. Don't go 24/7 cause you will probably get sick of them and throw them out, then surprise yourself and buy some more a month later. It happens to us all.

Honestly, I don't see why so many people don't like this part of themselves. I see it as a gift. There is already so little to like in life, that it's almost depressing. This adds one more thing that I can participate in and let worry and pain go away. Like active entertainment. I'm actually thankful that I'm an AB cause it enriches my life. I make sure that my G/F is the only one that knows and sees my things and I am normal around my friends and at work. There really is no stress in it for me, and I don't see how there could be for anyone unless you live with your parents, in which the problem is that you want to wear but can't. The only thing that I've seen people need to get around is their self image of it and how they must look wierd. That's something that can be cured with wearing clothes over them. So, what's not to like about something you like?

[Guest diapered469]

I used to binge and purge too. Now I just wear when I want to and don't when I don't, but always have a stash around in case the desire arises. Do I wish I was just a 'normal vanilla guy,' as you put it? Maybe, but then I wouldn't be the person I am, and I like myself ... most of the time.

Diapers are great though: You can praise them for the benefits they may or may not give you, and you can use them as a scapegoat for your unhappiness (as well as use them for, ahem, other things). As you say, diapers are expensive, so trashing them doesn't really make economic sense. So I'd hang onto em, and wear when you want to.

[Toddler Sissy]

Gripe 1:

The biggest problem is that your first question, "Could I?", isn't a question. It's very probably a fact, no, you can't stop.

Gripe 2:

You (and I) like diapers because they allow us to function and behave better than without them. That's like a smoker smoking because it makes them feel good. Both are probably false. You wear diapers to get 'normal' control. People smoke to raise their mood to 'normal'.

Gripe 3:

I'll go out on a limb here and say all this is not always hardwired in since birth, neither is homosexuality. It's a combination of genetics and experience. I for one am very susceptible to sexual imprinting. I could get aroused by an envelope if I masturbated for enough years looking at one. Aren't we weird? That's a good thing...

In response to the first one: you're right, I probably can't. But I did ask myself if I somehow could do it, be it through discipline or waving a magic wand, would I? In the end, I was happier because I decided I liked being this way, and wouldn't change myself even if I had the means to do so.

Second one: I don't do it to raise my mood to normal; I wear rarely when the mood strikes me, and I function fine without them. I wear diapers because it turns me on, and I like how they make me feel. I also understand you may have different reasons, but I meant to say the bottom line is that accepting you like wearing them, regardless of why, is important.

Third one: Alright, that's just my opinion and I do have to agree that both genetics and experience play into it. Personally, I envy your susceptibility; there are things I'd like to find myself aroused by if I could, but I'm not very good at making it happen.

I'm glad we both agree the important thing is to fight the low self esteem this particular fetish can cause and be happy. In the end, that's what is most important.

[nappyloon]

As the others have said, never throw any Daipers/Nappies or anything else to do with them away-you will only hit another "purge" moment and regret throwing away all those good Nappies and that will also hurt your wallet !

It seems that we have all (certainly a majority of people) "binged and purged" as it seems to go with the fetish

Be yourself and enjoy your fetish.

Do not worry what others may think of you (do however be discrete) but above all enjoy it.

[ajc2000]

I burned all my stuff when I was younger and still with parents as I did not want the chance of them being found in the bin.

It was a few years before I bought any more but still wanted to be padded through the years, just my will power to try to be normal stopped me.

[Guest John_Q_Sample]

I despised my diaper fetish until someone accidentally found out... I discovered that there are people out there who weren't freaked out by it, and some also quite willing to indulge this side of my sexuality. I have had a few women partake in this with me and now I live with alot less guilt about my attraction to wearing. I've noticed that this has also helped in relation to the whole binge-purge thing. With my eventual acceptance of the whole diaper thing, I notice the strong urges aren't as severe or frequent, probably because I can play with this side of me whenever i want now and not have to hide it like I did.

[diapergirl80]

I guess I haven't ever had a true purge. But just in the last couple of days I took a little break and put everything in the closet for a bit. For some of you that's not a big deal, but as someone who wears nightly and sometimes during the day, it's a big deal to take 3 days and nights off. It wasn't really in response to anything, just me not having the urge to wear. Tonight I'm wearing again. I'll do this a few times a year, but I always start wearing again in a few days. It doesn't make sense to toss out all my supplies during the down time.

I find I'm much happier when I just let myself wear when I want to, and let myself take a break if I need to. I don't throw anything away. I have a large non-descript container in the closet where all the diapers can happily play until I need them again. I've accepted the fact that I will sometimes want to wear, and along with that there will be days where I don't want to wear. Making that little bit of peace with myself went a long way toward being happier with the fetish and keeping it from overwhelming my thoughts.

[Kermatt]

Reading your responses has been helpful--thanks so much!

K

[Kermatt]

Reading your responses has been helpful--thanks so much!

K

...because it has been agony.

Today I ALMOST bought diapers.

At three different stores. Three of them!

Money is a pain, but the killer is that I threw them out last week.

I can't believe I threw them out last week. If I were rich or diapers were free, I would be diapered right now. Money won't keep me from doing it if I really want to, but: Do I really want to? It's physically helpful, but Is it worth it? Is it like an addiction? Cost, odor, hiding it, I really hope there is a way to move beyond my need for adult diapers.

I know it will become easier with time: either accepting without guilt or being satisfied without them. But I'm at that awkward in between stage.

:0

Thanks again.