Kermatt

I wish for more sizes. As it is, I am, effectively, between sizes: the smaller size is too small and the bigger size is too big. This is a challenge, because almost all of the major brands divide the sizes the same way: a medium in one brand is within an inch or two of a medium in the other brand.

I wear pads during the day, and recently bought cloth sanitary pad for the fist time. It's more comfortable, but the real benefit to me is the improved airflow: The improved airflow greatly improves the skin irritation problem of disposable sanitary pads I'd been wearing. Because of the airflow benefits, I'm thinking of trying cloth diapers. Suggestions for minimal absorbency cloth diaper? Kermatt

Hi, Part of my shame about wearing diapers is that almost all the advertising only has pictures of senior citizens. I respect this, but I personally would SOOOOO love to see an adult diaper ad that featured adults in their twenties or thirties. Or what about an adult diaper package or coupon with the picture of a younger adult? I know it's been done as a joke, but has it ever been done seriously? Has any adult diaper company hilited adults in their ads who did _not_ have gray hair? I just feel like images of non-seniors would decrease some of the shame in using an adult diaper. I only wear diapers when or if I want to, and I'm still bothered by only seeing senior citizens in the ads. I can only imagine the shame I'd feel if I actually were incont at my age or younger. EDIT: I DO HAVE SOME "LEGITIMATE" REASONS FOR WEARING PROTECTION, (though certainly not enough to justify an adult diaper). K

Hi, Question: does anyone know where I can buy a sanitary belt for "hospital style" feminine napkins with tabs? I bought the pads, the package says "belt sold separately," but the drugstore where I bought the pads could not tell me where to get a belt for them. Even their 1-800 number didn't know where I can buy a belt! Protex has a belt for approx $8, but I'd like to be able to get one more cheaply. So I've been wearing ALWAYS pads, (and sometimes KOTEX). Never really for use, EDIT: I DO HAVE SOME GASTROINTESTINAL PROBLEMS, BUT THAT DOESN'T USUALLY JUSTIFY A MAXI. I just like the feel of wearing a maxi. I do wear diapers occasionally, but right now can't afford to wear them more often. I'm so grateful for this forum! K

Me too! I've recently been stressed and depressed, so I'm wearing pads more often, and quite tempted to buy diapers.... It amazes me that even a maxi can make me feel better, and wearing a diaper at night does help me sleep better, I think. Such a surprise from when I first wanted to wear a diaper (as an adult!). K

Hi, Mods might delete this post as repeating one that I posted above, but I want to rephrase my question more clearly: I'm practically just a dl. And therefore I don't know: how to react when an coworker or acquaintance notices my adult diaper or pad? I find it helpful to wear a pad or ohter protective garment for a whole complex of issues, but it's misleading to say that my reason is medical. Yes, it's happened, but it is an exaggeration to say I really need to, much less that I need so extreme a product as a diaper. So rare that I can and have gone months without more than a drop of leakage. So for the most part I am a dl who wears pads or such at work (sometimes) and am never sure how to react if someone notices. I end up using the word "need", as in "I need to go to my locker, may I have permission to?" or, if I want a pad and don't have one, "May I have permission to use the restroom that's much farther away?" Or what to do when my neighbor noticed the "guards" pads that I bought? Eventually they might ask! Am I the only dl who's faced this dilemma? M

David, thanks for your kind words, but you give me more credit than I deserve: I did not word my post well: my leakage is rare and mild, so much so that I maybe shouldn't have even mentioned it. Most of the time my situation is very close to a dl without leakage etc. I just like to wear protection even when I don't need to. So I'm almost just a dl. What if I were just a dl? In this situation, people's noticing is more problematic. Sorry I was not clear the first time. Matthew

Today was not the first time a coworker noticed my pads or absorbent garments. Then tonight I read someone here share that she was afraid that her coworkers would discover that her use of protective absorbent garments was not _just_ necessity. This is what I want to discuss, becuase although I do have some involuntary leakage, I can usually go without even a minimal absorbency pad if I have to. So for the most part my use of absorbent products is voluntary; to say "need" is usually an exaggeration. What struck me about it today was that by not speaking up, I sort of implied that my use was _entirely_ for medical necessity. I thought about my coworker who noticed my getting a pad. Then about when I've asked to use the far restroom rather than the near one--I've never been asked why or denied permission, but I wonder.... I then wondered about the times I've wanted a protective garment so I've asked a supervisor for special permission to let me take the extra five minutes to run to my locker because I "need to." Sometimes he might be able to smell the urine, but who knows what he thinks. (For the record, they DO know I'm a good employee, so at least that part of it is not an issue). What is the issue: I do have some mild urine leakage and gi issues, but most of the time the word "need" is an exaggeration. I'm _almost_ lying. But if someone notices a pad or even a brief, how else would I act? As I wonder about my choice to use absorbent products, I think about this gray area between want and need. As I use absorbent products, I wonder about my attitude to people who notice it. Has anyone else here experienced this? Matthew

I _am_ feeling much better --and much saner-- about this now. Thanks to all. K

Dill Pickle, Your post helped me to clarify my concerns: involving "innocent bystanders" and cost/odor. This addresses most of my issues: 1) First and worst: the most shameful thing I've ever done is involving "innocent bystanders". And diapers brings that frankenstein out in me: My fear is that the only way to overcome that is to avoid diapers completely. But let's pretend (I hope!) that I can and will fix this fully and permanently. 2) Diapers, though pleasurable, have several other strikes against them: odor, skin care issues, and, finally, yes, the painfully high financial expense. But even if I had the money, between the skin care and the smell, its an inconvenient paraphilia. Can't I find a less cumbersome, healthier way of answering whatever need this fills? Take up basket weaving or charity volunteer work? Thanks, your post helped me to calrify my concerns. K

Diapers are expensive. But taht's not the real issue. The real issue is confusion about dl being addictive. That's the confusing part, to me, now. Less confusing--and far worse-- is that I love imagining hearing about adults who are my age who could be incon without my realizing it. Its me liking the _daydream_ of being incont myself. Of meeting other people my age and talking about our shame and what its like to hide a diaper at work. THE REALITY IS THAT BEING INCON WOULD BE BAD, AND I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY ARE INCON. And what if the neighbors see my diapers in reality? They'll think its medical, which is practically not true. So its weird and scary. Its so confusing. Thank you for your kind responses. It helps.

That's terrible!!!! I can understand drifting apart, disliking one another. or even saying bad things in an argument. But to broadcast private info to hurt someone intentionally--that's just indefensible.

I'm not sure how a wish-to-be-trans person would answer #2.

It's frightening. The addictive quality of diapers. The temptation to say I'm incontinent. Can't justify using diapers. To others. This week. I'm weak. Damn. If its medical they sympathise, if its fetish they roll their eyes. love/hate it. Ordered incont products and cancelled the order. Got product samples.

Being a dl is new to me, but I've always loved stuffed animals. I have one that my (biological) mother had as a child, and gave to me when I was born. Occasionally I have parted with a stuffed animal, usually because of hurt feelings.... But I usually love them. Even when I was 12 or so my (biological) dad would still humor my love of whimsical pretend by helping my stuffed animals move around the house when I wasn't looking. Sometimes my stuffed gorilla would walk over to the bananas, while my tiny bear, "Bearly", would be on the kitchen table staring happily at the honey jar. A couple years ago my father died, and somone close to me gave me stuffed animals to help me cope. This was a big secret, of course, since I am well into adulthood! Finally, just the other day, I knew a friend and I would get along when she suggested we visit a toy store together to see the stuffed animals. K