I'm boycotting Australia

[Nia]

https://www.ndtv.com/offbeat/australian-man-with-diaper-fetish-gets-banned-from-seeing-his-children-report-2959584

[DailyDi]

That's fucked up! (the courts ruling)

[Nyte Kitsune]

That isn't right, hope he wins his appeal. He's correct, as abdl has nothing to do with children (whether we have kids or not) nor does having a medical need (which though wasn't his case) should not have affected a courts decision. Sadly I could see this happening just about anywhere as our community is often misunderstood, just as is the furry fandom, which I am also a part of.

[Little Sherri]

This is tough. I don't think a guy should lose access to his kids because of a harmless fetish; it shouldn't matter what parents are "into" in that department, be it something fairly conventional, or unconventional, because of course that area of our adult existences should be wholly separate from our interactions with kids. I sure as hell didn't want to know what got my parents excited, in the boudoir, or anywhere else. If my dad had lederhosen on under his suit, that was his business, and should not be factored into his fitness to parent. However, it is possible that the guy in the article was developing boundary issues, and maybe that is what the court focused on. Or it all might be due to bias inherent in the reality that many view "this" interest as weird. 

The situation certainly has all the ingredients to fuel a spirited debate.

The fact that I'm reading and writing stuff here tips my hand, in so far as, presumably, I must be "into" diapers, and indeed, that is the case - I am. I have kids and I have done my level best to keep this stuff out of their ecosystems. I don't wear uncovered diapers, or revealingly snug clothing over diapers, around them, ever. I don't try to engineer "oops" situations with them, or anyone else, friend, family, or stranger. My wife is the only person that I've openly worn diapers in front of. I treat the garbage stream in my house like it contains state secrets, and I store my diapers discretely. So that's my stance on being open about this with my kids - it's none of their business and I am working on the assumption that they would not want to know about it. However, I also understand that at some point someone may find a diaper in a garbage can, or a box or bag of diapers stored somewhere, if they go exploring, or one may arrive from FedEx, and I don't think that such an occurrence would be tantamount to child abuse. In the event of such an occurrence, my plan is to lean into a medical explanation - that's all they explanation that they'd need, or probably want. 

There are lots of people, both here, and in the world, who wear diapers because they have to, and some of them have kids, or grandchildren, and presumably their circumstances do not disqualify them from raising kids. It's all about the intentions of everyone involved, and that can be very hard for an outsider to discern. If kids were raised in a household where they know that mom or dad needs to wear diapers, that just becomes a fact of life, and kids can adapt to that and be healthy, just as they would adapt to the fact that mom or dad have an artificial limb or are visually impaired or whatever. The fact that there are diapers around does not pose much danger to developing psyches. 

A responsible individual would never discuss their preferences in fetishes, pornography or any other "adult" topics with anyone who didn't need or want to know about it, regardless of their age, and certainly never, ever, with someone underage. Anyone who would do that is, essentially, sexually harassing the other person. Such behaviour could form the basis for dismissal from a job, and it should certainly factor into determining someone's fitness to parent. So if this guy was getting his jollies by exposing his diapers to his kids, well, then I agree with the court. However, if what happened was a genuine accident, then, I think the court has overreached. The fact that there is a custody dispute hanging over all of this really muddies the waters. Unfounded claims often get tossed around under such circumstances, as people fight for traction in an emotionally fraught and adversarial process. But legitimate concerns come to the surface as well. 

[oznl]

This matter has been bubbling along for quite some time.

Whilst I’m suspecting (based on what I’ve read elsewhere) that his spouse is hell-bent on ensuring he never sees his kids again (a depressingly common scenario), he’s also pretty “loud and proud”.  There would have been a family report prepared by psychologists analysing likely impact on the kids.  It won’t just be the magistrate’s opinion.

It’s does seem to be an encroachment of judicial intervention though, getting cut off from your dad because a court thinks you might be embarrassed by him.

Pretty sure Mrs DL got what she wanted though.  Probably got more child payments out of him as well as he has zero custody time now.

[Cute_Kitten]

That's a prickly situation. The father shouldn't be discriminated against by narrow-minded people just because his lifestyle or underwear preferences are unconventional. ?

Reading the article, this bit stood out to me: :But back in 2019, the court had heard that the Aussie father once came to pick the kids up and had a nappy “partially exposed”. It was then, the ex-wife said, that she decided to take legal action against him. "   So now I'm wondering, was it a plain diaper, a plain colored diaper like a Megamax, or an ABDL printed diaper? An accidental exposure?    Partially exposed ABDL printed diaper on purpose is different from  medical diaper accidentally exposed, especially doing something like picking the kids up from school.  I can't help but feel perhaps there's more to the story.  The father shouldn't loose his kids due to his ABDL side, but at the same time he'd be better served being more discrete/ not so out loud and padded proud, especially if he's got a vindictive ex-wife out to get him any way she can.  (Maybe this ex-wife is just very worried about her kids and doesn't understand ABDL very well, but it's also not unusual for exes to weaponize their kids against each other in divorse/ court. Which is really sad for the kids. They don't deserve any of that.)

[~Brian~]

10 minutes ago, Cute_Kitten said:

That's a prickly situation. The father shouldn't be discriminated against by narrow-minded people just because his lifestyle or underwear preferences are unconventional. ?

Reading the article, this bit stood out to me: :But back in 2019, the court had heard that the Aussie father once came to pick the kids up and had a nappy “partially exposed”. It was then, the ex-wife said, that she decided to take legal action against him. "   So now I'm wondering, was it a plain diaper, a plain colored diaper like a Megamax, or an ABDL printed diaper? An accidental exposure?    Partially exposed ABDL printed diaper on purpose is different from  medical diaper accidentally exposed, especially doing something like picking the kids up from school.  I can't help but feel perhaps there's more to the story.  The father shouldn't loose his kids due to his ABDL side, but at the same time he'd be better served being more discrete/ not so out loud and padded proud, especially if he's got a vindictive ex-wife out to get him any way she can.  (Maybe this ex-wife is just very worried about her kids and doesn't understand ABDL very well, but it's also not unusual for exes to weaponize their kids against each other in divorse/ court. Which is really sad for the kids. They don't deserve any of that.)

@Cute_Kitten

my take on this is: we have a father here who is either an AB/DL, And this is his lifestyle choice, which I would not fault him for. But I would fault him for his the following: regardless of what his lifestyle choices, he should not be so “loud and proud“ as cute kitten has said, because the idea here is that he needs to make sure that he has a good father. If your father hast to wear diapers, or chooses to wear diapers as his underwear choice, how in the world can the legal system stop him from making that choice. My feeling is, there are many fathers out there who don’t give two feathers about their kids, and they will Try to get away with something all the time, and not visit the kids, or not pay the Support, or in someway hurt the kids. I grew up in a situation where my parents love me on both sides, and they took care of me, and they made sure I had what I needed. My mom never stopped my dad from seeing me, and I would see him at least once a week and every other weekend, and one week in the summer. Holidays were alternated every other holiday.

I am the product of two people who divorced: this is because they could not get along and because they did not love each other anymore. This does not necessarily mean that my father or my mother love me any less than they do now. It’s just that they could not get along. It is a crying shame that that ex-wife decided to use her ex-husband‘s diaper fetish as a reason to “deny him access to his kids“. That father should know that he should not be displaying his fetish to his kids, because if that gets out to the wrong individuals, his rights can be severely limited or possibly terminated, depending on where he lives and what the law is for each area.

here I am, 50 years old, and I love my parents very much. For some reason times have changed, and now I feel as if something has changed the way our dynamic works. I still respect my parents and love them, but times have changed, and I’m not sure sometimes what to do or what to say anymore, because if I say the wrong words I’m dead in the water, and I don’t wanna be something that is used as a weapon if they disagree with something. I don’t feel safe disagreeing with my parents now because of what happened when I got mad at them this past winter. I got sick of hearing the same things over and over and over again, so I guess that’s why things changed. Being 50 years old, I’m not 25, I’m not 12, I’m not a minor, and I can deal with many things: I don’t know why Things that I turned into a positive they turned into a negative, maybe I’m an idiot, or maybe it’s something that I should’ve realized 25 years ago, but it gets a little ridiculous when you turn 50 years old and you feel like you don’t even belong at your own birthday dinner.

Thank God for people like my dad: 75 years old and he still has his head screwed on straight, and can give a good advice - i’m going to take a page out of my dad‘s book, and use his advice: that’s the only thing I can do – as I can’t read my parents mind, and I’m not even gonna try. I need to do what works for me, and that’s what will happen.

my main thing is with this: it’s obvious that the wife and the husband in the situation do not get along well: they’re most important thing that they need to deal with is to take care of their children: just because the father decides to wear diapers as his underwear, or to do other things like this, so long as the father is doing the right things, and being a good parent, what is the big deal or whether somebody is wearing a diaper or not. There are many people that may be wearing diapers because of medical reasons and there Still good parents, and they should not be anyone in the legal profession or in the legal system that would deny or should deny access to children. The only way that they should change is if there is documented evidence of abuse, neglect, or misconduct where child was hurt - it’s bad enough that our community is made to sound bad because we decide that we want to act like kids or look like kids or wear diapers or use baby equipment, or dress differently. So long as we can function as adults, what is the difference – I judge the persons confidence as a father or mother based on what they can do for their child and how they deal with them on a daily basis. Kids are good like this, because they sometimes Question things, but they understand that whatever happens, and they should understand this, that whatever happens, your mother or your father or whoever else loves you unconditionally: it is not the fault of the child that the parents got a divorce or cannot follow the laws or that they don’t get along. The most important thing is that the kids are taken care of, and sometimes that requires the two parents to be able to coparent, and sometimes that is very hard – but it can be done.

I feel bad for the kids: they are being used as pawns in a legal proceeding, and the mother in this case is deciding that the father is not a good father because of his lifestyle choice. Unless there is legal or documented evidence that the father is a bad father or I would do something dangerous or put the kids in a situation where their health safety or welfare is at risk, there should be no reason why they cannot visit their dad: the legal system should stay out of this and make it so that the father can see the kids, and tell the mother to leave it be.

Brian

[WBDaddy]

If you are in a situation where someone is seeking opportunities to weaponize your lifestyle against you, you are pretty dumb if you pick your kids up from school and flash a not-medical diaper in front of people in a way they will notice.  

It's unnecessary, and it's poor judgment, and it's the consequence you earned by trying to be "loud and proud" about something that should be personal anyway. It's why conversations about having ABDL pride days and equating ABDL to homosexuality are so dangerous.  There is no reason to publicly advertise being ABDL, because exhibitionism as a kink is no more acceptable if you wear diapers than it is if you don't.  It's illegal, in fact, if you don't.  

Be smart.  Don't let diapers define your personality, because it's really not a good definition.  You are far more than what you wear around your waist, and if you believe otherwise, you need mental help.  Seriously. 

[oznl]

3 hours ago, WBDaddy said:

you are pretty dumb if you pick your kids up from school and flash a not-medical diaper in front of people in a way they will notice. 

Yeah, well, that's a line from ONE half of a divorce battle.  If it's true, I think you're absolutely correct of course but it also might just be a bit of colouring in from a partner with an axe to grind.

3 hours ago, WBDaddy said:

it's the consequence you earned by trying to be "loud and proud" about something that should be personal anyway.

I'd like to walk-back the loud and proud a little because those were my words, not his.  If it is who I think it is (and I'm fairly confident), he is active on Fetlife and runs (or RAN, not sure if it's still around) an ABDL e-commerce site.  I also believe he is "24/7"  (so am I, no judgement there).  Thus my "loud and proud" comment.  He's no weekend-warrior ABDL for sure.  He's full time and it's his business too.

I won't identify him as it's not for me to do so but if you're on Fetlife, he's not hard to find and this story is no secret.  He made a big thing about this (that's understandable) and there was a go fund me page.

If his earlier comments are true, his ex-partner knew about his ABDL before and during the relationship and decided to breed with him anyway.  This makes her subsequent weaponisation of his ABDL to prosecute denying him child custody very, very difficult to accept.  Outrageous really.

Still, there's only two people who really know what really happened inside a marriage break up.  I try to be a bit wary about jumping to conclusions.

Regrettably however, his is not the only case I have heard of.  Another Fetlife friend went through a very similar process.  The federal magistrate in that case was apparently VERY unimpressed with his ex-wife's attempts to exploit this in the courtroom and shut her down very sharply.  It was still obviously deeply traumatic for him.  There would likely also have been a family report and the circumstances may well be different.

7 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

I feel bad for the kids: they are being used as pawns in a legal proceeding, and the mother in this case is deciding that the father is not a good father because of his lifestyle choice. Unless there is legal or documented evidence that the father is a bad father or I would do something dangerous or put the kids in a situation where their health safety or welfare is at risk, there should be no reason why they cannot visit their dad: the legal system should stay out of this and make it so that the father can see the kids, and tell the mother to leave it be.

Brian that wouldn't have happened for nothing.  Post-separation parenting is presumed shared 50/50 by default under Australian law.  Something big happened to change this for this case and it will likely be in the family report (that's your legal documented evidence) that this person made reference to on his Fetlife posts as being "bad". 

Another really tough legal principle here is that the court will do what it thinks is BEST for the kids.  That's not always what is RIGHT or JUST and the court knows that.

All I'm certain about is that there is so much I don't know.  It's likely we'll never know (all of this stuff will be closed-court) but it's a strong cautionary tale.

[WBDaddy]

4 hours ago, oznl said:

Still, there's only two people who really know what really happened inside a marriage break up.  I try to be a bit wary about jumping to conclusions.

I was working off the "loud and proud" part.  It definitely tinted my view of the situation.  There's no reason to be showing your diaper around a school.  

if that's not what happened, if the ex is just weaponizing it, then that's decidedly different, and I will happily walk back everything I said.