Lightbulb moment

[phillyabdl]

[redacted]

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

No. I've seen the real thing in people and it is a drag. You are ruled b y your bladder (or lack thereof). IC tells YOU when and where; which means NOW and HERE: Drop what you are doing and attend to it. You have no life of your own because I am your life. I figure in all you do and every calculation you make concerning that. To have the desires absent knowledge of that fact is phony  and I would know it. The juice is not worlh the squeeze

[phillyabdl]

13 minutes ago, Little Christine said:

No. I've seen the real thing in people and it is a drag. You are ruled b y your bladder (or lack thereof). IC tells YOU when and where; which means NOW and HERE: Drop what you are doing and attend to it. You have no life of your own because I am your life. I figure in all you do and every calculation you make concerning that. To have the desires absent knowledge of that fact is phony  and I would know it. The juice is not worlh the squeeze

Thank you for the unsolicited hostility and judgment. Duly noted and redirected to /dev/null. 

[Little BabyDoll Christine]

I was under the impression that you were asking if we would do it. Thank you for misunderstanding

[Kif]

6 hours ago, phillyabdl said:

So, first of all, looooooooong time listener, first time caller, yadda yadda yadda, etc.

Having gotten that out of the way, have others had what I can best describe as a lightbulb moment with respect to 24/7/incontinence desires? A sort of abrupt moment of mental clarity where all the self-doubt/shame/worries about judgment go away and you just realize you're ok with wanting this and truly ok with being and being viewed as incontinence? For context, I've had the desire/inclination to be 24/7 for YEARS, but some little bit of me inside always held me back. But recently, almost in a flash it's as if that roadblock went away and I don't feel like there are these two parts of me at battle anymore (the part that insanely craves being diaper dependent and the part that yells "PULL BACK!"). 

At any rate, what has been the experience of others in this regard?

Yep! For me, this happened a few months into my second go at untraining.

I realized what had held me back was my fear of being judged by others. I realized that I didn't care about the folks that were hostile about it, because I didn't find anything valuable or constructive in it. Only folks I really cared about were the ones that cared about me in turn -- so if they had a problem with it, then it was probably something I also cared about (for me, that'd be smell, keeping things clean and discrete, skin healthy, emotionally healthy, etc.). Outside that is catastrophizing...not something that is worth paying attention to, anyway.

Anyway, after that realization, it clicked and I was happy with it.

[spoonchicken]

12 hours ago, phillyabdl said:

Thank you for the unsolicited hostility and judgment. Duly noted and redirected to /dev/null. 

Christine was speaking as the voice of the bladder of an Incon, NOT as a member being judgemental or hostile. So, yes...there is a bit of mis-understanding on your part.

Furthermore, Christine was speaking bluntly (in a sincere and well-intentioned attempt) to convince the OP that "it's  a bad idea to seek incontinence".

That said, it wouldn't have hurt Christine to employ a more precise choice of words so that her context doesn't get lost in the content.

So now everyone can take a chill-pill

 

[spark]

I get frustrated with people posting the "It's a bad idea to seek incontinence bit."  It is only appropriate if this was something that happened overnight.   Suddenly one day- I decided to wear diaper and the next day I had no choice but to wear a diaper, and I had carry a diaper.  I would 32 changes a day and my life will become dominated the fact that I use diapers all the time.

Funny thing is that it's not true.  First of all, the only way that I've gotten to the point where I maybe, potentially, maybe, and kind of possibly need a diaper in public is that I've had to fake it for years.   I've had to wear a diaper and use it public, and pretend that I needed them for about 4 years.  Does anybody honestly think that I haven't figured out how being incontinent will affect MY LIFE.   It's my life that matters, and how it effects my life is what matters most to me.

Secondly,  I've never experienced and my life is not dominated by this.   My bladder doesn't dominate my life.  Instead- before my life dominated by anxiety and the fact that I was constantly aware that I might need to pee.  And it's real.  I had to sit in the aisle at movie theaters.  Now I sit in the middle, and don't worry about it.  I may or may not pee in my diaper during the movie.   I also felt the shame, because I felt fake.  Once I consciously choose to wear a diaper as much as I can- that went away.   I can say my mental health is much better now than it was.

I wouldn't describe it as a light bulb, where one day I was wracked with guilt, and the next day I'm wearing diapers 24/7 and totally comfortable with all it.   For me (and I'm only speaking for myself), it was more like the Antarctic sunrise, except that it last 20 years.   it was a gradual process of acceptance.    This site played a role in it.   There was a poster who sadly no longer posts here who talked about the emotional need for diapers.  I didn't understand at the time, but I do now.  One night, back in ice age, Rosalie share the beta of her 1st book.   I felt for the first time that my life was describe and wrote my story.  Which is a case study in her book.

For me (and again- just for me), going to diapers 24/7 was a great comfort.   I would recommend coming to accept and understand this (which is always different for each of us), and not subject yourself to twenty years of personal psychological abuse over your desire to wear an absorbent product designed to contain liquid waste.

[oznl]

18 hours ago, phillyabdl said:

So, first of all, looooooooong time listener, first time caller, yadda yadda yadda, etc.

Having gotten that out of the way, have others had what I can best describe as a lightbulb moment with respect to 24/7/incontinence desires? A sort of abrupt moment of mental clarity where all the self-doubt/shame/worries about judgment go away and you just realize you're ok with wanting this and truly ok with being and being viewed as incontinence? For context, I've had the desire/inclination to be 24/7 for YEARS, but some little bit of me inside always held me back. But recently, almost in a flash it's as if that roadblock went away and I don't feel like there are these two parts of me at battle anymore (the part that insanely craves being diaper dependent and the part that yells "PULL BACK!"). 

At any rate, what has been the experience of others in this regard?

The desire to live my life in nappies and the social disapproval from such a choice this were like two tectonic plates pushing against each other.  Just like in the geological metaphor, pressure from these two opposing forces continued to build over a long time before some kind of dramatic release (a psychological earthquake).  As a consequence of this, I am diapered 24/7 and have been for some years.  Those moderating forces were not vanquished though.  They were merely sublimated beneath the forces that drove me to be diapered.

The incontinence question is tricky.

When I started out, I was wary of any signs of physiological dependency and had resolved with myself that I’d abandon 24/7 should they emerge.

By the time the first symptoms of at least some kind of incontinence appeared (for me, bedwetting), this didn’t seem as important to me as remaining in nappies.  So I ignored them and partied on.

Whilst not necessarily an ardent pursuer of incontinence, I have drifted along down that path and realised that an incontinence diagnosis (by the time my symptoms have progressed to the point where one could be obtained) will at least provide some kind of refuge for my earlier choices from social sanction.  My nappies would be the result of a physiological condition, move along, nothing to see here…  I could use that to shut down a debate I'm sick of having.

I guess in a way I’m saying that if my choice to wear nappies full time did not have such a high social cost, I might be less intrigued by becoming incontinent.

I’m aware that there are many who have been permanently diapered for many, many years and yet remain fully continent.   I guess I could be one of those if I continued to practice continence from within my nappy.  I can see there would be advantages.

Having said that, it is kind of nice never to be woken up in the middle of the night by my bladder anymore…

Thanks for the interesting question.  These questions cause me to stop and think about myself.

[ValentinesStuff]

9 hours ago, spark said:

I get frustrated with people posting the "It's a bad idea to seek incontinence bit."  It is only appropriate if this was something that happened overnight.   Suddenly one day- I decided to wear diaper and the next day I had no choice but to wear a diaper, and I had carry a diaper.  I would 32 changes a day and my life will become dominated the fact that I use diapers all the time.

I think I read that story...

 

I wear 24/7, or near enough, not for need, but by choice. I have no desire to be incontinent, and think it's a bad idea. I will tell someone that, but I am not going beyond that. 

 

So wear 24/7 or 24/6 or 8/1 or just put one and whatever. It's your life.

[oznl]

On 2/24/2022 at 2:01 PM, spark said:

I get frustrated with people posting the "It's a bad idea to seek incontinence bit."  It is only appropriate if this was something that happened overnight.   Suddenly one day- I decided to wear diaper and the next day I had no choice but to wear a diaper, and I had carry a diaper.  I would 32 changes a day and my life will become dominated the fact that I use diapers all the time.

Yep exactly.  Loads of time for people to work it out for themselves one way or the other along the way.

“It was only after devoting nearly a decade of his life to become fluent in the Klingon language that Gerald realised the scale of his misadventure.  He wailed and gnashed his teeth at his failure to heed random internet advice all that time ago…”  (this scenario almost NEVER happens ?).

That’s not to say there aren’t some winces and misgivings that creep in from time to time.  I’m starting to learn that now as tangible evidence of control issues emerge but I'm not in Gerald-space yet.

 

[spark]

On 2/24/2022 at 5:23 AM, ValentinesStuff said:

I think I read that story...

I'm one of the case stories, and I'm the one who all little boy.  I still shouldn't be allowed to play with flour, water, and damn sure not play with fire.

On 2/25/2022 at 12:04 AM, oznl said:

Yep exactly.  Loads of time for people to work it out for themselves one way or the other along the way.

“It was only after devoting nearly a decade of his life to become fluent in the Klingon language that Gerald realised the scale of his misadventure.  He wailed and gnashed his teeth at his failure to heed random internet advice all that time ago…”  (this scenario almost NEVER happens ?).

That’s not to say there aren’t some winces and misgivings that creep in from time to time.  I’m starting to learn that now as tangible evidence of control issues emerge but I'm not in Gerald-space yet.

 

I think we've had similar paths, and I'm only getting to the point where I pee without a whole lot of thinking.  Lately it's been a little bit like a lose valve

More importantly, I don't need to be told how it could affect my life.  

[BabyBoi91]

To respond to OP: 

Yes!  I had a Light Bulb moment where I realized that pursuing incontinence was actually something helpful for my overall health.  It's something even my family realized and supported me on. 

While I do agree that there are alot of people who just fantasize about it and don't actually want it. I knew that wasn't me. 

The reasons why it has been helpful for me are long, and include both physical/medical reasons and psychological/emotional reasons.  

It's a long story, but after 3+ years of diaper wearing 24/7 and some additional help and support, I eventually got there.  Evidently, the pelvic floor and internal sphincters weakened enough that I have both urinary and bowel incontinence.

 

And I hope I don't offend anyone who has lived with incontinence their entire life or anyone else. Heck, I was dealing with mild incontinence beforehand, and it was frustrating me to no end. I just realized I would be a lot happier just accepting it, then constantly taking medications / going to doctor's appointments, etc. etc.--even if it meant things got worse (which they did).