BabyBoi91

I have come to realize the Internet is filled with trolls who simply want to ruin anyone’s day, and “experts” who want to argue everything and immediately say why someone is wrong. I believe these kinds of people also don’t really live much outside the Internet, or if they do, they don’t function all that well with others. So, I’ve learned to stop taking anything on the Internet personally, and if someone does start personal attacks or just is outright rude, then I will be quick to ignore and move on. It’s not their fault they act this way, and these people aren’t even worth my emotional energy. That said, I think a lot of people simply “want to believe” whatever they want to believe. How many posts can you find (even here) with people extremely certain that “wearing diapers 24/7 won’t make you incontinent, just like wearing underwear won’t make you continent”? Peer reviewed journals already show us that’s not necessarily true. On the same token, people also have difficulty thinking beyond black and white. Either you “are” or “are not” continent. When really, medical specialists intentionally use scales to assess “levels of continence.” It’s not black and white. Lastly, it’s a common phenomenon that people can get angry if they see people happy with something they don’t like, don’t understand, or can’t have. So, they immediately piss in someone else’s cereal. It sounds like this is happening to you. And yes, I recently had the experience (not ABDL related) of talking to a doctor and learning that something I thought was normal my entire life was actually atypical. But when it’s your body and it’s how it works since you were a small child, you assume it’s just normal.

I would say the number one issue with pads is placement/moving, and “direction of flow” (especially with males. They also tend to be poor while sleeping unless it is extremely light and you barely move in your sleep. have you considered using an adult pull-up style “pad”? Like depends has pretty discreet products (they are pretty lightweight tho and usually need to be changed after one wetting which you describe you prefer. They also don’t handle flooding well). Other brands, especially ones with leg guards do better. another option would be to vary your diaper options. Maybe use your current diapers for nighttime / when itay be awhile before u can change, and find a thinner diaper for daytime use / when you know you can easily change. I know some people have talked about having 3 options: nighttime/extended use, standard daytime, and quick use / exercising. but I agree with those above. Find options that work for you. And if diapers are a problem (like you really don’t want to wear and wish you wet less), see a doctor about different ways to help.

When it comes to procedures, I would personally trust the advice of a urologist over a continence nurse for most things. The continence nurse may have experience dealing with patients in recovery/post-surgery, but a urologist is gonna have a much deeper understanding of your body’s needs , ability to discuss benefits and risks, and is medically licensed to actually give treatment overall. if anything, I would compare with a second opinion from a second urologist if you’re concerned (ideally a different practice, but doesn’t have to be, especially if they’re all independently hired by the hospital). That’s totally reasonable when considering a procedure or surgery to get a consult from a non-operating surgeon. Also, doctors not communicating well with nurses is a tale as old as time. Likely he expects then to read visit notes, or if she is in a different system, there may be privacy issues and paperwork missing, who knows. but it’s pretty common.

So, your end question is really medical and should probably be asked to a doctor—more specifically a different urologist or your primary care doctor if they know the answer. Some option: get a second opinion, or request a new urologist. Maybe ask your primary care doc about this. another option: Most hospitals have some kind of “patient advocate” or “patient liaison” system where patients who feel their doctors aren’t communicating well or aren’t listening to them / their questions can talk to someone and get help with their doctors . They do a lot. Mostly because if doctors write these people off, they can often get in trouble from higher up. And even if your urologist is “top dog” in his department, there is always someone above him, lol. Always. These are just ideas though. Regardless, I’m sorry that your relationship with your doctor doesn’t seem that great. Not your fault; he sounds like a “stereotypical surgeon” and may not always be the best at empathy or may get easily frustrated when he can’t just insta-fix something with surgery. Who knows. Hope things improve.

My issue with NRUs is I find they don’t wick moisture away as well as Northshore. while I’m all for trying new things, I find Northshore MegaMax is one of the best for capacity AND wicking—which keeps my skin dry and prevents a rash. some of the newer diapers that boast larger capacities keep the moisture right on my skin, which really irritates it. It could also be a sizing issue. North shore diapers run big for their size, so it gives a little air between the skin and diaper. so for me, it’s not about capacity so much about time until skin irritation. There are some diapers with massive capacity that I have to change after 3 hours due to skin irritation.

I think for I was once at a point where I was “seeing myself as incontinent,” but I think even that was a form of denial (about what I wanted and about where I really was at). now it’s about accepting that I really am incontinent (bladder and bowel), and I just need to not fight it, and work on managing it well.

I will say your title comes off as a little tone deaf. ? (no, I’m not shaming you. I’m just giving some feedback to a friend ?) I think incontinence, urinary and especially fecal incontinence, can be very anxiety provoking / shame inducing for some people. So saying, “I’m still waiting for it to cause me shame or embarrassment…” may make a lot of eye rolls . like, “well, someone is young, inexperienced, and/or thinks they’re invulnerable to fate and time…” **** Just to play devil’s advocate (warning: potential triggers below)…. What if you were fired from your job because they downsized, and you had also begun to develop bowel incontinence regularly (especially fecal stress incontinence)… and sure you can take pills for the smell . But they can interact with other meds and don’t really make the smell go away; for some people they don’t work at all. And what happens when you go for new job interviews? Are you doing bowel preps every single day, maybe 2, and hoping you got everything ? Hoping you don’t defecate mid interview ? Or do you just wing it and hope fate is nice to you?—cu l you know if your bowels release everything mid interview because you sneeze, everyone there is gonna know you shit yourself. And while ADA is a thing…you still have to be able to do your job and they may consider “pooping yourself uncontrollably in front of people” unable to do the task you need to do. Harsh, but quite possible. not to mention, say you manage to get the job… you still have to go to work, but your urinary incontinence has progressed to bowel incontinence due to years of pelvic floor weakness. How is this gonna affect you? Are you just doing daily bowel irrigation? Which is going to destroy your peristalsis—you will basically be doing bowel irrigation for life—or are you just letting yourself crap yourself at work: which you have no clue when it will happen, who with / in front of. what if your sensation decreases and you stop noticing how wet something or you’re unable to detect leaks? Sure, changing on a set schedule is a good solution, but sometimes even those fail and you have a massive wet spot on your butt and the whole office sees it but you don’t even know it. and don’t forget the flatulence ! That seeps out now too. It’s sometimes really loud and embarrassing and you have control of that either , and it smellla horrible. **** I’m not saying don’t enjoy your life and don’t be your best self. I’m just questioning if whether it may be better to sometimes walk our lives with some humility. If not for our benefit, then for the benefit of those with whom we walk alongside. For many people, sudden onset of incontinence robs them of their sense of self. For others, becoming incontinence helps them find their whole sense of self. but I think both sides can have to face issues of shame or anxiety. To write them off, I believe, is just asking to be blindsided.

Yes, obesity and DM2 are the biggest culprits with adult incontinence. as far as potty training, parents in the 2020s are potty training earlier than they were 10 years ago in the US. The average age a child becomes potty trained is now 2.5 years old . The average age of starting potty training (again, average) is shortly after turning age 2. this is in contrast to the 2000s / 2010 time when the average age of potty training was age 3 or higher. and in the 80s, it was not uncommon for children to be potty trained in their late 3s or early 4s. So while people may think that disposables “make parents lazier” or somehow disincentivize toilet training. The decrease in age over time doesn’t support that. And while some people brag about toilet training at 18 months, toilet training too early can actually be quite harmful as it can lead to urinary / fecal retention. Ironically , toilet training Too Early actually has a high risk of childhood incontinence due to instilling behaviors that lead to retention (and retention can often lead to incontinence in children).

Some of this has been echoed above, but i would say: 1) having an understanding of oneself that this is what you really want and it’s ok if this takes time. Heck part of the process imo is this understanding crystallizing. But I think that many of us agree that the biggest hang ups are mental. And I think many of those “mental barriers” go away once you realize: “No, this is right for me. This is what I want. I know this.” fantasy is fun and has its place, absolutely. And desire also plays a role in our lives. But once you have that level of “clarity” about wanting change, then I the change can happen rather quickly, because the mind and body are ready.

Please ignore this person . He is giving actually dangerous advice . do NOT ever take activated charcoal without the direct supervision and instruction of a doctor, especially if you have other health conditions or take other medications as activated Charcoal can neutralize certain vital medications and/or cause life-threatening electrolyte imbalances. this person is NOT qualified to give any kind of medical advice and has admitted before that they are NOT a health care professional of any kind. I usually leave this guy on ignore cuz he’s a fraudster, but he’s starting to give life threatening advice again .

Yeah, I agree that having a trash bin is very helpful for handicap stalls. I’m guessing for some places its less practical. also, no clue why some other responder is shouting all-caps at “people on this site”… ?‍♂️

So these actually do work pretty well. So do just basic “disposable underwear” Either way, the effect is completely unnoticeable in certain types of garments — especially jeans . if it’s more you don’t like the feeling yourself, then that may be different , but again you may find that denim holds everything snug . jsut an idea for if you don’t want the bulk of a diaper (personally I would probably just use the disposable underwear but the inserts may be cheaper .

Tbh , from my perspective, the person you are referring to may have a history of giving “expert advice” and sometimes even [very incorrect] “medical advice” about things he maybe shouldn’t be giving advice on. He has acknowledged that he does not have any medical or psychological expertise, but is eloquent and frequently works in jargon to sound like he does, imo. I feel like his posts would be better suited if they were merely sharing his own experiences and not always telling people what to do. Sometimes he has even given people dangerous health advice in my opinion, so as someone who is a health professional, I usually remind people, “Please be careful about following advice on the Internet.” To reference OP, I think you’re doing a great job. You may not even have to drink a “ton” of water , although early on it can certainly give you more opportunities to wet. The best thing you said is that you “try to relax and let it flow”—that’s great! One of the biggest parts of untraining is getting to a point where you aren’t focused on untraining, where you accept that your body will just do relax / release when it needs to. ?

Yes, over time if you intentionally “disuse” muscles involved in bladder control, then you can develop bowel weakness as well. This is due to some (not all) of the pelvic floor muscles being involved in both. after about 3+ years of urinary incontinence , I began having occasional bowel accidents as well—usually more stress incontinence to begin with. It was a little unnerving at first but I eventually accepted it and am fine with it now. when I talked with my doctor about it, he said it definitively can happen this way.

I think everyone approaches hypnosis differently, but everyone can be hypnotized. if you’re looking for specific suggestions, Champtehotter has lots of content on his Patreon (some is also on WMM). On WMM, there are several good creators like sweetdreamshypno, MindMaster, and EMG. For prerecorded content, it can be difficult to find a creator that you really like and also content that matches very closely with your goals. You can sometimes use editors to help take out sections you don’t want, but this doesn’t always work. as far as the actual approach, I don’t think there is one “right answer.” Some people may prefer to focus on regression or age play aspects of using their diapers, while others may prefer to just focus on incontinence—I fall mostly in the latter category but I’ve had success with both. if you can afford a few sessions with an erotic hypnotherapist who has experience with ABDL goals, I highly recommend that route as several people here have had success working directly with a hypnotherapist.

Yeah @Enthusi I actually tried using a pull-up for a few days and ended with several accidents, including one #2 accident that I didn’t realizing leading to a small case of diaper rash. While the diaper rash was annoying, the accidents were a good reminder that I got what I wanted and I def need diapers (or at the very least pull-ups). back in diapers now to be safe . ?

There were 100% definitely changes to how my body functioned. Like I could tell, family could tell. I was (and still am) very happy with the results. I think working through some that stuff is what, for me, gave such a magnitude of effect for the hypnosis.

I found someone through abdl related site and I don’t have their contact info anymore or else I would recommend them! However, there are websites with kink / abdl aware hypnotherapists / hypnotists out there . I think consulting with one , explaining your goals and seeing how they believe they can help / asking if they have helped others with similar goals , etc. another thing to talk about is “hang-ups” as well as goals that you may have yourself. Sometimes an objective person can even help you find or reword things you’re thinking a little bit more accurately. i think that was one of the biggest things for me was getting that chance to really talk with someone through some of my own thought processes. I think this may be why some of the more successful people have also been able to talk about their goals with a supportive therapist / psychologist — even outside of the hypnosis aspect. the hypnotherapist I worked with even said that 90% of the “clinical work” we were going to do would be outside of hypnosis. another big thing he did was help me see where I was already reaching my goals, but where I denying myself that success. And I think that is actually a really big deal. We talk all the time about how the conscious mind will try to rationalize or intellectualize as a “defense.” But he helped me reframe that to understand WHY. That are minds or bodies do that because they aren’t ready for a change. So, he helped me reframe things from a perspective of “if you really want this change , then 1) what are your biggest doubts or concerns about this change ? And 2) has this change already happened and you’re rewording that change / rationalizing / intellectualizing / in denial .” i think I tend to be especially guilty of the latter where I like to reword things as “oh I’m noticing the beginning of change” or “well, I had an accident but it was only cuz I coughed” or “well, my pants were were wet but … what if….” Or “well how do I know….” The hypnotherapist basically reframed it all as — ‘you’re describing things that people with incontinence deal with. People with medical issues go through these same kinds of questions , they rationalize, they deny things are happening. so what you really need is help accepting that are incontinent because that’s what you want .’ and I think when I noticed myself regaining “some bowel control,” it was kindof some of that same rationalization. My mind still trying to process some “what ifs” and more recently I was able to break through all that and see “oh wait, I’m still having plenty of accidents: I just had one the other week. It’s more I just need/want to accept I’m fully incontinent and don’t have to worry about this so much and just handle it responsibly.” so yeah, Recommend seeking out some kink friendly hypnotherapists online as a place to start. I don’t know that I tracked my months . I think everyone is different . The one thing I would just say is : if you’re goal is urinary incontinence, then great ! Having urge issues and even noticing “oh hey , I think it may be coming out and I didn’t really “try”” are both types of urinary incontinence. i don’t usually have issues with “urge” anymore because on the occasions I do sense an urge I try to relax and just let go. More commonly, urine just comes out without me telling it to. Especially when lying down—which is supposedly a sign that the internal sphincter muscle is weak not just pelvic.

I have not . Maybe see your doctor about that cuz I’m not sure if that’s related to pelvic floor ? It could be other things too.

Figured I would I would post an update since it’s about 5 years since I’ve been wearing 24/7 with occasional brief breaks and about 3-4 years since I fully committed to untraining: Bladder lack of control: can’t really call it “control” anymore, lol. I’m wetting my diapers frequently without noticing it at all. Sometimes I notice urine entering my diaper but there is no sensation that I tried to cause it, which is very relaxing and validating . Other times I just realize my diaper is very wet and there’s no way I remember peeing that much. Fun “test”: It’s extremely rare that I ever go without diapers. I do have some pull-ups I use on occasion around the house but wouldn’t trust them to hold up if I went out . I was having some skin issues the other day (which is actually very rare for me), so decided to let my skin air out and go “commando” in my sweat pants for a bit. About 3 hours later, my crotch was soaked through but I 100% did not consciously wet it not did I feel any urine release, meaning I probably just slowly dribbled into my sweatpants. Needless to say, it smelled bad and was not comfortable on my skin, so I showered and changed back to a diaper?. Wasn’t an intentional test, but definitely validated I need diapers, and that doesn’t bother me. ? Bedwetting: I’m usually wetting my diaper as I’m falling asleep without any control. Occasionally I wake up “soaked” but I usually just wake up with an empty bladder and a diaper that is expanded but not soaked. I vaguely remember a long time ago sleeping in just my PJs, and my pants and bed were wet through. So while I don’t “flood” every night, I do sometimes, and it’s probably only a matter of time . I am definitely noticing I am more relaxed at night. Bowel stuff: so when I started, I rapidly lost all bowel control thanks to hypnosis , but then about a year or so later had some health issues come up that led to me holding it for a few weeks / months . it took me a bit to decide to focus on that again. I never regained the same amount of control (I still have accidents when coughing and times when I am unable to stop going). Also, eating healthier diet / more fiber is helping . My goal is no control here either . I had done really well before to get past a lot / most of my social hang ups about this, but many of them returned after my health issues — not sure why. funny thing is, if I change within a few minutes in a public setting with the diapers I’m using , no one notices . I think I’m worried about having to change in public restrooms etc again (but again, I’ve done this before no problem ). But that said … I def don’t have full control and I’ve even had multiple bowel accidents where I had no clue I even had a bowel movement (yeah that was embarrassing…). I need a new diaper bag as my really nice one that I felt very comfortable taking everywhere was stolen. And they don’t make it anymore (and therefore it costs 4x as much to replace on EBay). Anyways, that’s my update. It’s going really well! I credit wearing 24/7 now for several years , hypnosis and self-affirmations for reinforcement, and meditation as what has helped the most for me.

If it was a skin check, then 1) it was appropriate to need to look under the diaper (they do a full head to bottom of feet). 2) i think if a patient was wearing underwear, they would ask “do you mind lowering your underwear so I can look at X area?” (Assuming an assistant was in the room) 3) with diapers, it’s possible she didn’t want to assume you DIDNT need assistance, and/or she may have been thinking “oh wait, if they take it off can they get it back on or did they bring a spare?”, or who knows…maybe it was a “hey I can just quickly undo/redo?” (Kindof like a bandage) of all the scenarios, I’m actually leaning toward the last one… cuz doctors (especially dermatologists) will do frequent bandage checks and commonly undue a bandage themself / redo it.

Yeah, so this is why I’m not sure self-testing does much good. The conscious mind has a lot of defense mechanisms (intellectualization and rationalization come to mind, even testing may be a defense mechanism…). I would simply ask yourself—how is this advancing your goal ? How is this advancing your training ? cuz based on your posts, your training works. and you said yourself you end up quite wet when when you go without. You just come up with some excuse or some reason to say it’s invalid—except that’s kindof moot. Because other people who don’t have to wear protection (?), don’t pee their pants—whether on purpose or on accident. and I don’t care what age you are or why you’re doing it, if someone pees their pants enough (consciously on purpose or not), they’re gonna get told they need “protection” or put back in pull-ups / diapers / etc. so you’re attempt at rationalization fails, boo. (And I’ve spent too many years working in psychiatry, family medicine, and/or child psych for you to tell me otherwise). ? So, this is what my family started saying to me, and helped me a lot with my “bladder regression” (and kindof seeing it as bladder regression helped accelerate it tbh). i started telling them when I would wet the bed (my diaper)— meaning I wet it while I was fully asleep. And they responded with “we kindof just assume you always wet the bet. I mean, your diaper is always wet in the morning when you wake up. So you probably wet it and don’t realize it, even when you ‘think’ you do.” ??? talk about a mind trip. now fast forward, and I’ve legit had at least 3 occasions where I was messy and didn’t realize it (long story). But the majority of the time I am aware. But those 3 times are enough for my family to remind: “yeah we just assume you can’t control it anymore. Even when you think you can, sorry…” so yeah, I think rationalization may be a very powerful defense for us to avoid accepting we don’t have control anymore . ?? Good luck, Buddy. (Btw, for those reading my reply to Enthusi, we are decently good friends online. so everything I said was very good natured and I hope he takes it as such, haha ?).

I think your 3 points really nailed it, and also think part of it may have to do with where a person is mentally / physically in their untraining. Mental habits and physical habits take practice—it’s why we tend to call it un-“training.” early on in my journey, I was very focused on control— what I doing vs not doing. at a certain point, I realized maybe I should just focus more on muscle relaxation (and make an effort to keep things relaxed as much as possible), and they had a breakthrough when I realized I also should not stress if I ever noticed things weren’t relaxed for anything reason. After a while, relaxation stopped taking focus. It became default the vast majority of the time. And you’re right! Once I gained insight into “personal acceptance,” it took everything to a new level. i started questioning a lot of how I had approached training to date (although a lot of that muscle relaxation probably helped…). I started to see myself in a much more passive role. Why do I have to “do” anything? Why can’t I just accept what happens? Why does X have to happen the way I want or plan? Does Y have to look this way? What if my body wants Y to happen a different way? basically accepting incontinence meant I was a passive participant, or at most a facilitator (after all, wearing diapers is how I manage it; making sure I stay hydrated / get enough fiber is just healthy and prevents other issues); but the incontinence happens whether I want it or not. and yes, there are consequences of that. But trying to constantly “control” how it works becomes a fool’s errand.

Not to sound cliche’, but the “regret I didn’t start sooner” is partially true. that said, I also believe people’s bodies and minds will go down this route if/when they are ready. ? there’s a lot of personal acceptance that has to happen, I think. But it’s a very good thing. I just know that a lot of the fears/anxiety/worries etc that I tended were very much way overblown, and at the time I didn’t realize exactly how hyperbolic and/or laughably catastrophic I was making some of those fears out to be. In my head, they seemed fully reasonable. It wasn’t til I actually talked about them outloud with family / therapist that I realized 90% of my fears were irrational and the remaining 10% were much more inward and had to do with self-acceptance or relationships. i think anyone serious about going down this route should consider talking with a therapist to explore it for sure. Take it slow and don’t feel a need to approach it too black / white or success / fail. Approach it as a “getting to understand yourself and what you want in life” better.

I think this is also a very good point. I think some of the most difficult things in life to deal with are those things that have no answer to the question, “Why?” Or “how?” Or “what caused this?” We want to be able to complete an internal story to explain the world around us, but when those rare personal events occur that are unanswerable—those are the events can really shake a person up. Ultimately, we may never know “why” about some things. And while there is 100%, certainly room to ask those questions and feel the emotions that those question brings up (because they are after all valid), at the end of the day it’s also up to us to do our best with the choices we have. ☺️ -Reflections on asking why