Hi! *Waves Enthusastically* (A Re-Introduction?)

[Ellie Jean]

I've been gone for a while... Quick recap: I'm an asexual/demisexual AB, not a DL, I'm 26, autistic, and I'm a girl, who was raised as a boy, been on HRT over nine months. @Emily Ruby Rose is my cuzzie lol. ?

...And Halloween was kinda awful this year. ?

[Firefly 35]

Welcome. 

[AbabeBill]

Welcome back! Nice to be meeting you, good to have you here with us. Sorry you didn’t enjoy Halloween, but there’ll be others. Till then, you can have some good times here. Relax, have fun, and enjoy!

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, Ellie Jean said:

I've been gone for a while... Quick recap: I'm an asexual AB, not a DL, I'm 26, autistic, and I'm a girl, who was raised as a boy, been on HRT over nine months. @Emily Ruby Rose is my cuzzie lol. ?

...And Halloween was kinda awful this year. ?

What happened???

[Ellie Jean]

...I don' wanna talk 'bout it quite yet. ?

[Little Cub Pants]

25 minutes ago, Ellie Jean said:

...I don' wanna talk 'bout it quite yet. ?

Okay, that's fine, just let me know when you do.???❤️???

[LilFozzyJ5]

Hi Ellie Jean,

A very warm welcome back. I too had to take some time away from stuff, so i have some idea how your feeling. I am very glad you have come back. So many positive and caring people here.

Gentle hugs to you

[Little Sherri]

Welcome back, @Ellie Jean! I hope that things get better for you for future Halloweens - this year was still kind of weird because of the pandemic. I would echo @LilFozzyJ5's comment - as you probably already know, there are a lot of positive and caring people here. Feel free to reach out to people - chances are, someone here has been there, done that, and might be able to offer words of encouragement if you're having a hard time. 

Take care! 

[~Brian~]

21 hours ago, Ellie Jean said:

...I don' wanna talk 'bout it quite yet. ?

@Ellie Jean

This is quite understandable! Please know however, that we are a family, and as such we will be here in case you do want to talk about it when you do want to talk about it!

Take Care

Brian

[Little Cub Pants]

11 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@Ellie Jean

This is quite understandable! Please know however, that we are a family, and as such we will be here in case you do want to talk about it when you do want to talk about it!

Take Care

Brian

That's right brian! We are a family. My second family!??☺️??❤️???❤️??❤️ Full of all my Baby Buddies!?????❤️

[Ellie Jean]

On 11/2/2021 at 11:56 PM, BabySpiderBoy said:

What happened???

On 11/3/2021 at 12:49 AM, BabySpiderBoy said:

Okay, that's fine, just let me know when you do.???❤️???

...What happened was that pretty much everything that could go wrong, DID go wrong.

The day started with mom taking me shopping for hair accessories and some thigh high stockings, (which as I told her from the start, weren't going to work on me), and...well...she wasn't exactly quiet about the fact that they were for me...and I was trying to present as a boy at that time...so she ended up inadvertently publicly humiliating me in the women's lingerie department of Wal-Mart. All the nearby women were smiling and stifling giggles and sizing me up and dressing me down with their eyes...it was TOTALLY mortifying. I felt myself getting emotional like I might have a panic attack or emotional breakdown in the middle of the store, so I just stared up at the ceiling to try to suck the tears back into my eyeballs, put on a brave face and pretended everything was fine.

Mom had been wanting to give me a makeover for a while, but I'd always been too nervous to let her, because I'm pretty sure she's never put makeup on anyone but herself before, let alone any boys lol. (Turns out she hadn't; she let me in on this little tid-bit later on in the middle of doing my makeup.) So I decided I'd take her up on her offer this Halloween, and weeks in advance, I found a facial feminization makeup tutorial that was only ten minutes that I wanted her to study a little bit, but she kept procrastinating and putting it off until the last second, and then the day of Halloween when she finally agreed to look at it, she immediately said after a minute of watching it that she didn't have the items required in any of her makeup kits...which was why I wanted her to look at it weeks ago.

So, on top of that morning's public humiliation, I was probably going to be publicly humiliated again while out with my cousins because I probably wasn't going to be able to pass as my target gender as well as I had originally planned because mom couldn't be bothered to actually look into what the hell I was talking about. Mom just used a little concealer on my face, a little bit of blush and a little mascara on my eyelashes. I did look better, but I still thought I looked like a boy and was terrified of going out like that. Oh well though! I wasn't gonna let it get me down! I wasn't gonna chicken out, I wasn't gonna pout an' cry, I was just gonna put on a brave face and hold it together and try to have fun anyway! Trick or Treating was gonna be awesome regardless! ...At least, so I thought.

See, my cousin Marlaina was planning on dressing as a Catholic School Girl, and her husband Connor was planning on dressing up as a Catholic Priest, so with my outfit thrown into the mix, we were going to look like a Priest with two sexy little girls LOL. It was gonna be HILARIOUSLY offensive; we were really gonna shake up the locals hehehe...buuut...they ended up not wearing those costumes. I only realized that after I had jumped into the car and realized that I was the ONLY one dressed ridiculously. ...Suuuuper awkward.

ORIGINALLY, I thought we were going to just tootle around the neighborhood in the car, smoking magic flowers and trick or treating at lit up porches as we went....buuut, it turns out, we were going to a fucking BLOCK PARTY with Connor's mom instead. When we pulled in, there were several dozens, if not HUNDREDS of people...children and families flooding the streets, trick or treating at stations set up at houses....I kinda freaked out.

I told Marlaina I couldn't do this and that I just wanted to stay in the car...but she gave me a super heartwarming pep talk, said I looked great, told me about how she helped her other trans friends conquer their fears and doubts and yada yada yada...blah blah blah...so...I figured I'd just shove all my doubts and fears deep, deep down...got outta the car...stared up at the stars, sucked my slowly building tears back into my eyeballs so that nobody could see how terrified I was (technique I've learned since the hormones started making me cry at the drop of a hat)...put on a brave face.

Sooo...we weren't ACTUALLY going trick or treating, it turned out...we were just gonna hang out with Connor's parents at their Trick or Treating station. They were giving kids the option of making smores at the sidewalk bonfire thingy, or taking candy and going along their merry way. A lotta kids were interested in getting smores....before my cousins and I showed up anyway. Connor wore his normal clothes, but with a 5 dollar afro. Marlaina was wearing green Christmas pajamas with a Santa Claus hat and fuzzy blanket. ...I was wearing pink and white skirtalls with a pink onesie, white knee high socks and white slip on shoes, with a white cardigan blouse thing of my mom's that reached down the same length as my frilly skirt, which was poofed out with a petticoat tutu I was wearing over my pink onesie, which was holding my cloth diapers and plastic pants in place. With my hair and makeup...I was quite the sight...and I very much so doubt that it was in a good way. ...Got some mean looks from Connor's dad. ...I think he blamed my appearance for why nobody was wanting to get smores anymore...because my cousins and I stayed by the fire pit because I was freezing my legs off.....gotta lotta weird looks from kids and parents all night. ...Some of mere confusion. Some of disapproval. ...Some of outright hatred.

Ugh...It was AWFUL. ?

Oh gawd...and Connor's mom took a picture of me by the fire too. I saw that phone coming up to her eye level in slow motion, knowing what was about to happen but being too petrified to do anything to stop it from happening because I didn't want to look as self-conscious as I was feeling so I just looked away and tried to act casual instead of hiding my face in my hands. ?

[AbabeBill]

@Ellie Jean I can see how much of an emotional rough time, this must have been for you. I applaud your sucking up the fear, and getting out there. Very brave! Enjoyed the photo you posted too, looks good, in spite of the conditions you mentioned. 

[Ellie Jean]

2 minutes ago, AbabeBill said:

 Enjoyed the photo you posted too, looks good, in spite of the conditions you mentioned. 

Lol...I had to clean it up A LOT. ?

Connor's mom had a crappy phone camera...and apparently, didn't know that she wasn't supposed to use the FLASH feature while standing next to a BONFIRE. ?
 

...Light was bouncin' offa stuff dat light was NEVER meant to bounce offa lmao. ?

[Little Cub Pants]

23 minutes ago, Ellie Jean said:

...What happened was that pretty much everything that could go wrong, DID go wrong.

The day started with mom taking me shopping for hair accessories and some thigh high stockings, (which as I told her from the start, weren't going to work on me), and...well...she wasn't exactly quiet about the fact that they were for me...and I was trying to present as a boy at that time...so she ended up inadvertently publicly humiliating me in the women's lingerie department of Wal-Mart. All the nearby women were smiling and stifling giggles and sizing me up and dressing me down with their eyes...it was TOTALLY mortifying. I felt myself getting emotional like I might have a panic attack or emotional breakdown in the middle of the store, so I just stared up at the ceiling to try to suck the tears back into my eyeballs, put on a brave face and pretended everything was fine.

Mom had been wanting to give me a makeover for a while, but I'd always been too nervous to let her, because I'm pretty sure she's never put makeup on anyone but herself before, let alone any boys lol. (Turns out she hadn't; she let me in on this little tid-bit later on in the middle of doing my makeup.) So I decided I'd take her up on her offer this Halloween, and weeks in advance, I found a facial feminization makeup tutorial that was only ten minutes that I wanted her to study a little bit, but she kept procrastinating and putting it off until the last second, and then the day of Halloween when she finally agreed to look at it, she immediately said after a minute of watching it that she didn't have the items required in any of her makeup kits...which was why I wanted her to look at it weeks ago.

So, on top of that morning's public humiliation, I was probably going to be publicly humiliated again while out with my cousins because I probably wasn't going to be able to pass as my target gender as well as I had originally planned because mom couldn't be bothered to actually look into what the hell I was talking about. Mom just used a little concealer on my face, a little bit of blush and a little mascara on my eyelashes. I did look better, but I still thought I looked like a boy and was terrified of going out like that. Oh well though! I wasn't gonna let it get me down! I wasn't gonna chicken out, I wasn't gonna pout an' cry, I was just gonna put on a brave face and hold it together and try to have fun anyway! Trick or Treating was gonna be awesome regardless! ...At least, so I thought.

See, my cousin Marlaina was planning on dressing as a Catholic School Girl, and her husband Connor was planning on dressing up as a Catholic Priest, so with my outfit thrown into the mix, we were going to look like a Priest with two sexy little girls LOL. It was gonna be HILARIOUSLY offensive; we were really gonna shake up the locals hehehe...buuut...they ended up not wearing those costumes. I only realized that after I had jumped into the car and realized that I was the ONLY one dressed ridiculously. ...Suuuuper awkward.

ORIGINALLY, I thought we were going to just tootle around the neighborhood in the car, smoking magic flowers and trick or treating at lit up porches as we went....buuut, it turns out, we were going to a fucking BLOCK PARTY with Connor's mom instead. When we pulled in, there were several dozens, if not HUNDREDS of people...children and families flooding the streets, trick or treating at stations set up at houses....I kinda freaked out.

I told Marlaina I couldn't do this and that I just wanted to stay in the car...but she gave me a super heartwarming pep talk, said I looked great, told me about how she helped her other trans friends conquer their fears and doubts and yada yada yada...blah blah blah...so...I figured I'd just shove all my doubts and fears deep, deep down...got outta the car...stared up at the stars, sucked my slowly building tears back into my eyeballs so that nobody could see how terrified I was (technique I've learned since the hormones started making me cry at the drop of a hat)...put on a brave face.

Sooo...we weren't ACTUALLY going trick or treating, it turned out...we were just gonna hang out with Connor's parents at their Trick or Treating station. They were giving kids the option of making smores at the sidewalk bonfire thingy, or taking candy and going along their merry way. A lotta kids were interested in getting smores....before my cousins and I showed up anyway. Connor wore his normal clothes, but with a 5 dollar afro. Marlaina was wearing green Christmas pajamas with a Santa Claus hat and fuzzy blanket. ...I was wearing pink and white skirtalls with a pink onesie, white knee high socks and white slip on shoes, with a white cardigan blouse thing of my mom's that reached down the same length as my frilly skirt, which was poofed out with a petticoat tutu I was wearing over my pink onesie, which was holding my cloth diapers and plastic pants in place. With my hair and makeup...I was quite the sight...and I very much so doubt that it was in a good way. ...Gotta some mean looks from Connor's dad. ...I think he blamed my appearance for why nobody was wanting to get smores anymore...because my cousins and I stayed by the fire pit because I was freezing my legs off.....gotta lotta weird looks from kids and parents all night. ...Some of mere confusion. Some of disapproval. ...Some of outright hatred.

Ugh...It was AWFUL. ?

Oh gawd...and Connor's mom took a picture of me by the fire too. I saw that phone coming up to her eye level in slow motion, knowing what was about to happen but being too petrified to do anything to stop it from happening because I didn't want to look as self-conscious as I was feeling so I just looked away and tried to act casual instead of hiding my face in my hands. ?

Man, that's rough. I can DEFINITELY understand your frustration, especially with your mom. I wouldn't want to talk about that either. Thanks for the story!?☺️❤️ I really hope next year's Halloween is better for you! If I were you I'd definitely want to wash myself of that bad memory as soon as possible.???

[Ellie Jean]

19 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Thanks for the story!?☺️❤️ 

No prob lol...I might write out a waaay more detailed version of that day in the future...like, you know, once I've RECOVERED and am willing to relive that shit. ?

...Halloween 2021 was essentially a real-life "Forced Sissy Baby Humiliation Story" from start to finish lol. The kind I would totally read and fantasize about! ?

...The REALITY of being forcibly feminized is definitely not for the faint of heart. As the old adage goes, "Be careful what you wish for!" ?

[Little Cub Pants]

11 minutes ago, Ellie Jean said:

...Halloween 2021 was essentially a real-life "Forced Sissy Baby Humiliation Story" from start to finish lol. The kind I would totally read and fantasize about! ?

...The REALITY of being forcibly feminized is definitely not for the faint of heart. As the old adage goes, "Be careful what you wish for!" ?

Hahahaha!!!!! I didn't really think of it like that before! LOL!??? Although life REALLY DOES play out like a novel sometimes! Sometimes I find certain stories that are hard to believe, but are actually true.???

[Ellie Jean]

And I'm back again lol. ADISC blows. ?

[AwakenEvil]

2 hours ago, Ellie Jean said:

And I'm back again lol. ADISC blows. ?

I could have told you that!

[AbabeBill]

2 hours ago, Ellie Jean said:

And I'm back again lol. ADISC blows. ?

Live, learn, return. ?  Oh, and get Luvs! ???

[~Brian~]

3 hours ago, Ellie Jean said:

And I'm back again lol. ADISC blows. ?

@Ellie Jean

Welcome HOME!!!!!! ????❤️?❤️?❤️???

 

1 hour ago, AwakenEvil said:

I could have told you that!

True words have been a’spoken - ****COUGH COUGH a disc = Baaaaaad Medicine!!!

Brian

Edited January 21, 2022 by ~Brian~
Removed sig and edited because of automerge

[Ellie Jean]

Thnx all!  ???

[AwakenEvil]

8 hours ago, Ellie Jean said:

Thnx all!  ???

We do charge a service fee tho

[Spiderman]

On 1/20/2022 at 9:22 PM, AwakenEvil said:

I could have told you that!

Hell I could have told you that too.   That place is horrible.   The people there for some reason act just like the people at the dmv who have a stick up their ass.

[Ellie Jean]

OMG...Ten Hours of Spider-Man Song lmao. ...Fuck me dead! ?

[BabyAshtonMarie81]

Hewwo. 

Me to Asexual/Demisexual TG. 8yrs HRT

DL/Little wearing 24/7

I'm much older but very young in heart and soul.   Sorry to hears about Halloween.  Hopes you had a wonderful Christmas and this year Halloween can be awesome.