Historical Inaccuracies (Completed)

[TheUnknownAuthor]

Welcome, everyone! This will be a longer form story centering around two friends who just so happen to have access to a machine that allows them to put their present consciousness into their past selves and as you may or may not imagine that could have undesired results. Please feel free to share thoughts and critiques as you read, I do engage with people that comment on my stories but I respect everyone's opinion and welcome negative comments as much as positive ones. I hope you enjoy!

 

Historical Inaccuracies

By: The Unknown Author

 

I

“Favor”

 

I checked the text she’d sent again before looking at the building through my windshield. The massive warehouse had the corresponding numbers painted on the rusted looking corrugated wall in yellow spray paint and little else in the way of identification. There was a camera above the door a little ways from where I was standing and a keypad of some sort beside the door itself. I looked around nervously before checking the time on my phone to make sure I wasn’t too early and walked up to the door.

 

There was a loud buzz that actually made me jump and the door creaked open slowly to reveal the somewhat mousy form of my best friend, Carolina. She brushed her barely brushed auburn hair out of her face and smiled widely at me. “Howdy, stranger.” she said in a faux Southern accent with a tip of an invisible hat she was obviously wearing.

 

I snickered. “Still as big a dork as ever, I see.” I told her as I walked toward the space between her and the door frame.

 

She stuck her arm out to block my path, her one size too big lab coat hiding the underdeveloped noodles she called arms beneath the almost comically wizard’s cloak-like sleeves, a gray T-shirt beneath it with the NASA logo across the chest adding more accuracy to my statement. I looked down at her, our difference in height wasn’t all that dramatic, but I made a point to tease her about it whenever we got together. “Apologize and say hello properly Mr. Marshal.” she commanded in a mock authoritative tone.

 

I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Good morning, I’m sorry you’re still a huge dork, Care.” I said, getting a weak punch on the shoulder and a sticking out of her tongue before she moved aside to let me pass, pulling the door closed behind us and locking it with several sturdy locks.

 

Carolina and I had been friends since just about birth, we were more like brother and sister most days, but time and distance had kept us from seeing each other in person for the better part of a year now, the longest we’d been apart in our lives if I’m being honest. She’d holed herself up in this warehouse after graduating college, and had been exceedingly secretive about what she was up to, until the previous night anyway.

 

“I’m glad you came.” she said as she scurried past me to the area she’d set up as a bedroom, hurriedly trying to make the small bed and put some of the more scandalous laundry away in the nearly full basket at the foot of the bed.

 

I watched her toss her under things in the basket and cover them with shirts and pants and smiled when she finally stopped moving and looked at me. “From what you told me on the phone this is really important stuff you’re working on, I couldn’t not help you out.” I said.

 

“Coffee?” she asked.

 

I shook my head. “I’m fine, right now.” I told her.

 

She cleared her throat and stood there awkwardly for a moment without saying anything.

 

“We can jump right into whatever you have planned.” I offered, sensing her trepidation at wasting time catching up when she clearly wanted to work on her project.

 

She breathed a sigh of relief and chuckled nervously. “I’m sorry, I’m a terrible best friend, but I promise that if I can get this all working the way it should, I’ll give you my full and complete attention for the next year at least.” she said as she bustled over to the cluttered desk and grabbed a small camcorder from it, beckoning me to sit down in the metal folding chair in front of a tripod.

 

The air conditioner kicked on behind me as she set up the camera on its tripod, brushing an errant strand of auburn hair aside as she looked to me and flashed a polite smile. “I should’ve done this last night, but I had some final adjustments to make on the machine.” she explained as she pulled the small screen on the side of the camera away from it and turned the camera on. “And you showed up a little earlier than I was expecting.” she added, her tone not quite annoyed but not not annoyed.

 

I looked down at my hands as I rubbed them together between my knees, sitting forward, trying not to look like I was watching her work. “Sorry.” I offered. “This whole thing has me pretty excited, if I’m being honest.” I told her.

 

She waved her hand dismissively in the air and smiled again. “Same.” she said. “Last night was like Christmas Eve, the night before the first day of school, the night before the last day of school, and the night before a big trip all rolled into one for me.” she explained.

 

I nodded and absently stroked the stubbly growth on my chin. “Yeah, that about sums it up.” I said with a nervous chuckle, feeling awkward in my own skin for some reason.

 

“Y’know, there’s nothing to be nervous about.” she told me as she walked away from the camera and went to the rolling chair across the room, wheeling it over to just behind the camera. “Today is just a small trial run but mostly we’re going to be talking.” she explained as she sat down in the chair, shifting to pull her lab coat from beneath her before sighing and smiling at me warmly. “Are you ready to start?” she asked.

 

I nodded and returned her smile. “I thought you’d never ask.” I lamely joked.

 

Leaning forward, she hit the record button on the camera and sat back. “Please state your name, age, and occupation for the record.” she said as she reached over to her cluttered desk to retrieve a notebook and pulled the pen from behind her ear, leveling it to hover above the paper like she was going to dictate what I was saying.

 

I cleared my throat. “My name is-” I began, looking at the camera and then to her. “Do I talk to you or the camera?” I asked, my face feeling warmer.

 

She smiled again. “The camera, please.” she said.

 

I nodded again and looked at the camera as I sat up. “My name is Timothy Marshall, Tim.” I clarified. “I’m thirty-one years old, and I currently work at a bank.” I said.

 

She jotted some scribbles down. “In your own words, could you explain what you’re doing here today for the record.” she said.

 

I quirked my mouth and shrugged. “Um, I was asked to help an old friend with an experiment.” I said simply.

 

She smirked. “The name of this friend?” she prompted.

 

“Carolina Adams.” I replied.

 

She cleared her throat dramatically and raised an eyebrow at me.

 

“Doctor Carolina Adams.” I clarified.

 

She nodded. “It’s an important distinction, Tim.” she chided. “If,” she scoured her memory for a name briefly, “Daryl Haws from third period French asked you to test his experiment would you?” she asked.

 

I chuckled and rubbed the back of my neck with one hand. “No, if “Paint Huffer Haws” asked me to test an experiment of his I probably wouldn’t return his call.” I admitted.

 

She stifled a chuckle and collected herself. “Are you aware of the nature of this experiment?” she asked.

 

I shrugged. “Not entirely.” I confessed. “Something about a machine and time travel?” I offered.

 

She rolled her eyes. “I specifically said it wasn’t time travel.” she said, her tone slightly annoyed.

 

“You said the machine would allow me to go back to any point in my history.” I pointed out.

 

She nodded. “Mentally.” she added. “Time travel would be you physically leaving this place, this time, my machine just syncs present you’s consciousness with past you’s body.” she explained.

 

I scoffed. “Sounds like time travel to me.” I said.

 

She sighed. “If you don’t want to do it-” she started.

 

“I’m already here, Care.” I said, invoking her least favorite nickname once more. “Just tell me what I need to do.” I added.

 

She set the notebook and pen down on the desk, the balled up papers and old paper coffee cups serving as an orgy of evidence that she’d been basically no-lifeing her research for some time before calling me up. Standing, she turned off the camera and went over to the large whiteboard on the other side of the room, flipping it over to a less cluttered and chaotic surface where she picked up a red marker and drew an “x” closest to the side she was standing on.

 

“I can’t just tell you what I need you to do, I need you to make an informed decision on whether or not you want to do it.” she told me.

 

“I already told you I would.” I reminded her.

 

She sighed. “For legal reasons, you have to know what you’re agreeing to.” she told me.

 

I scoffed. “What happened to ‘please Tim, I need you to do me this huge favor’? Your words, remember?” I asked.

 

She nodded and brushed her hair from her face once more. “I know what I said, but-” she trailed off. “Look, I thought more about it and I need you to know this stuff before you consent.” she said, her tone and mannerisms becoming more erratic and flustered.

 

“Why?” I asked.

 

Another heavy sigh. “Because human trials without approval aren’t exactly the most legal thing in the world and if anything-” she stopped and looked at me, her face softening for the briefest of moments before regaining her serious and professional demeanor. “I don’t want anything to happen to you is all.” she said after a long moment.

 

I stared at her. “You said this was totally safe and that you already had approval for human trials, Care.” I said, my voice raising. “Why’d you lie to me?” I asked.

 

She put the cap on the marker slowly, staring at it in her hands as she rubbed the side of it with her thumb absently, I’d seen her this way before many times over the years, she knew she’d done something wrong and felt bad and foolish and she was trying to not add embarrassment to the mix. She set the marker down in its tray and walked over to me, smoothing out invisible creases on her pants and lab coat as she walked, eyes glued to the floor. When she finally reached me she knelt down beside me and lay her head on my arm as she took my hand in hers. “I didn’t think you’d come if you thought I’d come up with another crazy invention.” she confessed quietly.

 

I sighed. “Truth. Now.” I demanded, noticing her body shake with surprise at my sudden authoritative command.

 

She closed her eyes and took a few breaths, her thumb stroking the top of my hand like she’d done with the marker moments ago. “I tried it last week, that’s how I know it works, but it’s not possible to work the data while you’re engaged with the machine.” she explained. “I really do need another person to be using it, and you’re the only person I trust to do it and not steal my idea or break it or something.” she added.

 

I put my other hand on her back and gave it a few light pats. “Walk me through what happened when you did it.” I told her.

 

She stiffened beneath my hand after I spoke and shook her head. “No, I’ll just tell you how it works.” she said dismissively, letting go of my hand and standing abruptly.

 

“Care, why are you being weird?” I asked.

 

She turned and glared at me. “Stop. Calling. Me. That.” she said through gritted teeth.

 

I raised an eyebrow. “I will when you tell me why you’re being weird.” I said.

 

She’d made her way to the small kitchenette area of the building and was filling her coffee mug with probably ice cold, molasses like liquid. “Drop it, Tim.” she warned.

 

I stood up and went to her calmly. “Remember in third grade when Cynthia Hale got to take the class rabbit home for the week and you were devastated to the point of tears because you were so convinced that it was your week and the teacher had forgotten you?” I asked.

 

Her cheeks grew pinker. “What about it?” she asked, her tone more than slightly annoyed.

 

I put a hand on her shoulder. “Remember who was there hugging you behind the bleachers on the baseball field?” I asked.

 

She smirked and nodded. “If memory serves,” she said, setting her coffee cup down and looking up at me, “you weren’t very kind about it beyond the hugging.” she said.

 

I snickered. “I was in third grade, what’d you expect?” I asked.

 

“You told me to stop being such a baby because it was just a stupid rabbit!” she said with a playful punch to my shoulder.

 

I shrugged. “It was!” I exclaimed.

 

She shook her head. “I had my mom go and buy the best lettuce and I’d made a little bunny sized bed for her to sleep in, I was understandably upset.” she said.

 

I stifled a laugh. “Look, my point is, even when you’re being a stupid baby about a dumb rabbit, I don’t judge you.” I said. “Please tell me about your experience.” I added.

 

She looked up into my eyes and something flickered in them, something I’d seen before in her but not for a very long time, something that made me change gears immediately when she didn’t speak.

 

“Alright then, keep your secrets.” I told her. “Just explain the thing to me like I’m five and we should be fine.” I said, moving back to my chair across the room as casually as possible to keep her from realizing I’d picked up on something she was desperate to hide.

 

She became visibly more relaxed as she sipped the coffee she’d poured for herself, made a displeased face and dumped the remainder down the sink and came back over to the whiteboard. “This ‘x’ is a moment in your past.” she said, pointing to the ‘x’ with the capped marker.

 

“Me hugging you in third grade.” I offered.

 

She blushed again and nodded as she uncapped the marker and drew two stick figures awkwardly entwined with ‘Third Grade Hug’ written above them. “Okay, so over here,” she said as she walked to the other end of the board and drew another ‘x’ with a green marker, “is you today.” she said as she drew stick man me and wrote ‘Present’ above him. “With me so far?” she asked.

 

I gave her nod. “It’s pretty advanced, but I’m managing.” I said sarcastically.

 

“Basically, my machine takes your consciousness from here,” she pointed to the green me and drew a line with the red marker back to the other two stick figures, “and puts it into your past self’s body.” she explained.

 

I nodded slowly. “So, I’d be hugging third grade you and would know that you were going to grow up to be a mad scientist with questionable bathing habits?” I teased.

 

She glared and then pulled her shirt up slightly to sniff it, blushing once more. “Firstly, shut up, I’ve been working day and night for weeks on this.” she said bitterly. “Second, yes, that’s how this works.” she said, letting her shirt fall back into place before smoothing it out to make sure I could see the NASA logo emblazoned on the front as clearly as before.

 

I raised my hand. “Question!” I exclaimed.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Yes?” she said.

 

“Let’s say that I stop hugging you and run away and join the circus or something, what does that do to present me?” I asked.

 

“It’s not time travel, Tim!” she snapped. “You can do anything you want and the people you interact with will react to you in that moment, but it has no impact on the future because that moment already happened.” she explained. “If you stopped hugging me and ran away to join the circus I’d cry and chase after you, but as far as time is concerned you stayed and insulted me.” she added.

 

“But how can you be sure?” I asked.

 

She sighed. “Trust me.” she said.

 

I backed down from my line of questioning. “Alright, do I bring anything back with me?” I asked.

 

“What do you mean?” she asked.

 

I shrugged. “I dunno, let’s say I did run away and join the circus while I was mentally my past self or whatever, would I have the knowledge of how to do trapeze work now in the present?” I asked.

 

She thought about it for a long moment and finally shrugged. “I guess that’s something you can test if you agree to do it.” she offered.

 

“What if I died?” I asked. “Like, I’m running to join the circus and don’t look both ways when I’m crossing the street and BLAM! creamed by a bus or something.” I clarified.

 

She shrugged again. “I’d expect your consciousness to snap back to here?” she said, placing a quizzical emphasis on the statement. “Don’t die though would probably be for the best.” she added.

 

I took a deep breath in through my nose and exhaled sharply through my mouth. “One last question.” I said.

 

She nodded. “Go for it.” she urged.

 

“How much does this gig pay?” I asked.

 

She glowered at me. “Nothing, you’re doing a favor for your oldest and dearest friend, remember?” she reminded me.

 

I shrugged. “Buy me lunch?” I asked.

 

She blushed. “Tim, this experiment is my everything.” she said, looking at her hands as she nervously played with them. “I’ve tied everything I own into this, if anything goes wrong,” she remained silent for a long moment, “I can’t go back home broke and a failure.” she finally said, tears welling up in her eyes.

 

I shot up and rushed to her. “Hey, hey, it’s alright, I was just messing around.” I told her as I pulled her to me for a hug. “I’m doing this because it’s important to you and that makes it important to me, okay?” I asked as I rubbed her back.

 

She nodded and pulled away, wiping her nose and eyes with her lab coat sleeves. “I’m sorry, I’m kind of under a lot of stress right now and I haven’t been sleeping or eating well and it’s all just a lot to handle.” she explained. “I know you’re here for me and you’ll do whatever you can to make this work.” she added.

 

I nodded decisively. “Damn straight!” I said.

 

She smiled and came back to me, wrapping her arms around my middle to hug me tightly and then looked up and kissed my cheek. “Thank you.” she said softly.

 

I smiled and kissed her forehead. “You bet.” I told her.

 

She cleared her throat and let go of me to walk to a small medical dresser that she opened and retrieved a bagged item, tossing it to me. “The bathroom is over there.” she said, pointing behind me. “You can keep your socks on, but everything else comes off except the gown I’ve given you.” she hurriedly explained.

 

“Are you serious?” I asked, my face flushing slightly.

 

She nodded. “I mean, the gown was a courtesy, you can be in your birthday suit if you’d prefer.” she said, her own cheeks flushing as she stifled a chuckle.

 

I narrowed my eyes. “I should, just to make you nervous.” I threatened,

 

She shrugged. “Not like I’ve never seen it before, right?” she asked, her flush deepening as she actually giggled like some school girl that heard a dirty joke.

 

I grumbled under my breath and made my way off to the bathroom, my internal clean freak shuddering at the state of the room as I shut the door behind me. “Do you even know how to clean?!” I called out to her as I cleared some towels from the sink to set the gown down.

 

“Of course I do!” came her response from the other side of the door, making me jump and feel my stomach flutter at the realization she was standing right outside it waiting for me. “I told you I’ve been busy with this project, everything that isn’t that has gone by the wayside.” she explained.

 

I stripped out of my striped polo shirt, looking for a place to set it that would keep the white actually white when I noticed the toilet. The sink and tub were a disaster, toothpaste gunk in the sink and surrounding the small cup with her toothbrush in it, bras and pantyhose hung up on the shower curtain rod and a ring down inside the tub, but the toilet was immaculate. “At least you keep the toilet clean.” I said as I folded my shirt and set it down on the closed lid.

 

Silence from the other side of the door.

 

I rolled my eyes, imagining she’d wandered off to tinker with things while she waited for me. I slipped my shoes off and then pulled my jeans down, folding those up neatly before sighing and losing my boxers, opening the bag with the gown and putting it on before tying it tightly closed in the back, checking as best I could in the mirror for signs of bare skin I didn’t want her seeing.

 

Opening the door after taking a deep breath I nearly bumped into her. “Where’d you come from?” I asked.

 

She looked at me quizzically. “I’ve been right here the whole time.” she said.

 

“Just ignoring me then?” I asked.

 

She shrugged. “Didn’t think we needed to discuss my toilet habits.” she said, turning and walking away just before her face flushed once more.

 

I followed her to where an overstuffed medical chair sat bolted to the floor, stifling a chuckle at the “fake” looking “device” attached to the back of the headrest hung. If you thought of a 50’s Sci-Fi flick having a colander with Christmas lights attached to it to was hokey, this would be right there alongside it.

 

“I know it looks silly, but it’s not the easiest thing in the world to make something that fits on someone’s head look cool unless you’re rich.” she said as she jutted out her open hand toward the chair.

 

“I’m a banker, I couldn’t do any better.” I said as I moved to the front of the chair and lowered myself down into the seat.

 

Moving around behind me, she lifted the device off its hook and gently set it down on my head, securing it with a thin strap of Velcro beneath my chin. “Comfy?” she asked.

 

I nodded to test the hold of the strap and fit of the device. “Seems so.” I said.

 

She went to the desk a few feet away and sat down on the rolling chair, smiling at me for a moment. “Thank you for doing this.” she said.

 

I nodded again. “My pleasure.” I told her.

 

She typed on the keyboard in front of her briefly. “We’re going to test the connection first, so I need you to think about today when you first arrived here, okay?” she explained. “As clear and specific a mental image as you can manage.” she added.

 

I closed my eyes and thought of standing outside a short time ago. “Got it.” I said.

 

She took a deep breath. “Okay, you might feel a little dizzy.” she said. “If you need to throw up I put a trash can next to the chair.” she explained sympathetically.

 

I nodded.

 

“Test begin in three.” she said as she typed and a hum started up around me.

 

“Two.” the hum grew to a drone.

 

“One.” the drone became a high whirring sound briefly before it stopped entirely.

 

A seagull cawed overhead and I opened my eyes to look up at it, a smile spreading across my face. “Holy fuck!” I exclaimed. I put my phone back into my pocket and hurried up to the door, banging on it until the loud buzz came and the door creaked open.

 

“Howdy stranger.” we both said at the same time in the same faux Southern accent. She stared at me for a moment.

 

“It fucking works!” I declared, throwing my arms around her and hugging her tightly.

 

She hugged me back, her body trembling with excitement. “You’re using it right now?!” she asked.

 

I nodded. “Yeah! About twenty minutes from now.” I told her.

 

She beamed proudly as we broke our hug. “I knew it worked, because I tested it, but I’ve got to be losing my mind going through the data while you’re using it!” she said.

 

I nodded absently and looked around at the very real world and the very real her, trying to wrap my head around how all of this was happening. “So, what am I supposed to do here?” I asked. “What would help you the most right now?” I added.

 

She smiled. “Deviation would be invaluable to me.” she said. “Whatever happened normally, do something completely different.” she explained.

 

“I mean, we didn’t hug.” I said. “And we absolutely didn’t talk about the experiment working.” I told her.

 

“Yeah, but those are superficial things, like when you misremember a color or something.” she said. “Do something completely unexpected, something you’d never normally do.” she explained.

 

I looked at her for a moment and pulled my phone from my pocket, looking at it and closing my eyes before turning to throw it as hard as I could across the parking area behind the warehouse. “Good enough?” I asked.

 

She hid a smile and nodded. “That should work.” she said.

 

I felt a wave of vertigo hit me and felt like I was falling, my field of vision narrowing to a pinpoint before opening up again to reveal the interior of the warehouse and her seated at the computer beside the chair I was once again seated in. She was bouncing her leg rapidly up and down, her other leg beneath her butt as she chewed her thumbnail and grinned widely at me.

 

“Tim?” she asked tentatively.

 

I nodded slowly and felt the wave of vertigo wash over me once more, fading until it was completely passed. “I’m here.” I said as I focused on my breathing.

 

“This data is amazing!” she practically squealed.

 

I chuckled. “I’m glad.” I told her. “One thing’s for sure,” I said as I sat forward and smiled at her in quiet awe. “You’re gonna be a fucking millionaire off of this.” I said, bringing a peal of excited laughter from her as she shot up and rushed to me to hug me tightly.

 

“Once you’re feeling a hundred percent I want you to tell me everything that happened and what you did differently.” she explained.

 

I nodded.

 

“After that, if you’re up to it, I’d like to try something further back to give untainted data.” she said. “Revisiting a point where I’m working on the machine and have tested it myself isn’t the same as going back to a point in your youth.” she explained.

 

She rushed over to the kitchen and got a bottle of water out of the fridge and returned with it. “Take your time and just let me know when you’re ready to continue.” she said, returning to her chair.

 

“So, you don’t know what happened?” I asked. “Like, you don’t remember what I did?” I clarified.

 

She shook her head. “My memory is unchanged, whatever you did is only remembered by you.” she explained.

 

I got up slowly and made my way to the bathroom, pulling my phone out of my pants pocket and smiling. “Goddamned genius.” I thought to myself before returning my phone to the pocket and heading back to her for my debrief.

[Clr224]

An interesting start with lots of possibilities.  It will be interesting to see where you go with the story. 

[BabySiras]

Calling it now.  The scientist here has been spending time reliving her low single digits

[Clr224]

Given the clues, I suspect you’re right and that she is experiencing some side effects of that exploration.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

22 hours ago, Clr224 said:

An interesting start with lots of possibilities.  It will be interesting to see where you go with the story. 

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment! I hope what I've got in store keeps your interest!

12 hours ago, BabySiras said:

Calling it now.  The scientist here has been spending time reliving her low single digits

Right out of the gate we've got a firm prediction on the events that are going to unfold! I wish you the best of luck in your guess, good sir! Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment!

12 hours ago, Clr224 said:

Given the clues, I suspect you’re right and that she is experiencing some side effects of that exploration.

Clues, you say? Where you see clues I see breadcrumbs meant to lead you down a path of deceit...or is this the deceit? I suppose we'll have to see!

[TheUnknownAuthor]

II

“Secrets”

We established early in our debrief that she couldn’t see what I was seeing when I was using the machine. The data stream that she monitored was like a heart monitor, “flat” points were the normal flow of events, and deviations showed as spikes in the line.

“What happened here?” she asked pointing to the high peak in the flow.

“I pulled out my phone and chucked it across the parking lot.” I told her.

She nodded. “And these smaller jumps prior I assume were you discussing the success of the project with the me from your memory?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Okay, so what I need from you is both a memory where I’m not present, and for you to do absolutely everything different from what normally happened, can you do that?” she asked, saving the data from our test run and creating a new recording set up.

“I can, but I have a question.” I said.

She looked up from the computer at me, her green eyes sparkling with fascination at everything that was happening.

“You have no idea what I’ll be doing unless I tell you, right?” I asked.

She nodded.

“And no way of seeing what’s happening beyond that reading?” I asked, pointing to the screen in front of her.

She nodded again, slower this time. “You’re not gonna kill someone or something, right?” she asked with a nervous chuckle.

I shook my head vehemently. “No! I just have a specific memory I want to go to, and it’s not something I really want other people seeing or knowing about.” I explained.

She raised an eyebrow. “Even your best friend since birth?” she asked.

I nodded. “Especially you.” I said.

Her eyes went wider. “Jesus, Tim, what the Hell did you do?!” she asked.

I swallowed hard and sat back in the chair. “When you tell me what you did when you tested the machine, I’ll tell you about this.” I said, making eye contact with her that she quickly broke.

“Fine, we’ll keep secrets from each other forever then.” she said dismissively, her feelings clearly bruised that I’d keep something from her while helping her with her experiment, as she got up from her chair and affixed the machine to my head before returning to her chair.

“I’m sorry, Care, but I’m just not ready to share some things with you.” I said quietly.

She shrugged. “Have fun.” she said simply.

As she counted down I crystallized the moment I wanted to go back to in my mind, tuning out the sounds of the machine building energy all around me, thankful my eyes were closed to not have to look at her pouting, the feeling of keeping her in the dark hurting me as much as it hurt her but knowing that she’d probably stop the experiment if she knew what I was doing.

The rush of sound and feeling of falling was far more intense this time, I felt like a top spinning out of control in complete darkness as voices filled my ears, I wanted to look but kept my eyes shut, I heard familiar and unfamiliar voices hurtling past me and absently wondered if they were voices from memories between where I was going and where I’d been before all sound faded out and the sounds of the world slowly built back up like when your ears pop from flying on a plane or going underwater.

“Tim? You okay?” her voice asked.

A warmth washed over me at the sound of her voice and I failed to contain a smile as I opened my eyes slowly and saw her sitting next to me in the passenger seat of my car. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. “Yeah.” I said quietly. “Just fine.” I added.

She returned my smile, her braces showing for the briefest of moments before she dialed her smile back to cover them once more.

My love for her was complete, had been when this moment had originally played out, but her self consciousness about her braces was one of the little details that I found myself forgetting and then remembering randomly again, and it always made me love her that much more when I did. At nineteen it was normal for her to be self conscious about having braces, but there was something about the way she was self conscious about them I found absolutely adorable. She wouldn’t just refuse to smile, she loved to smile and did it often, but she would genuinely forget that she had braces and then suddenly remember and do the most nonchalant and casual closing of her lips to hide them even though anyone that knew her knew she had them and anyone looking at her had seen them when she’d smiled big but still she did it and acted like she’d pulled off the greatest lie in the world by suddenly hiding them.

“I love you.” I said suddenly.

She blushed. “I love you too.” she said, looking into my eyes with her own shimmering green lenses.

“Are you ready?” I asked her after savoring the moment of gazing into her eyes.

She nodded softly. “Nothing crazy, right?” she asked.

I smirked. “Nothing that will hurt you.” I clarified. “All of this is crazy.” I added.

She blushed once more and swallowed nervously. “And if I want to stop?” she asked softly.

I reached out and took her hand in mine and kissed the top of it. “The safe word is ‘Arugula’.” I reminded her.

She took a deep breath and nodded once. “I’m ready.” she said.

When this had happened the first time, we’d planned a shopping trip to a local grocery store an hour away. She’d allowed me to help her climb into one of the shopping carts and I pushed her around the store talking to her about foods she’d enjoyed when she was a little girl and things she’d liked to play with, and ended up buying some Arrowroot cookies and a coloring book and crayons before we left the store and went back to my house. She’d agreed to a bath and I helped her undress and lovingly washed her and she spent the next hour after that wrapped in a towel coloring and snacking on her baby cookies and it was a beautiful and sweet day in our life together and I cherished the memory but always wondered whether things could’ve gone further had I not been a nervous nineteen year old that was too afraid to go further because of the fear of losing her.

I opened my door and got out of the car, closing the door behind me and making my way around to her side, opening her door and taking her hand to help her step up and out before closing the door behind her. She’d worn a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, something cute but not juvenile, a mint green shirt with a cartoon unicorn licking a rainbow like it was an ice cream cone. She’d done her auburn hair into a loose ponytail secured with a light purple hairband.

Leading her by the hand to the front of the store I felt her grip tighten lightly and looked back at her with a reassuring smile the she returned without showing her braces. When we reached the front of the store I let go of her hand and pulled one of the carts out of the train and held out my hand once more. “Your chariot awaits, my dear.” I said with a little bow.

She giggled and took my hand and gasped as I moved in and scooped her up in my arms, turning to put her feet over the side of the cart and allowing her to situate herself in the main body of the cart. She settled on what the kids call “crisscross applesauce”, a position seen in classrooms and day cares all over the world where small children sat around a focal point in rapt attention. I became her focal point as I stepped to the front of the cart and looked down at her within.

“Comfy?” I asked.

 

She blushed and nodded.

I nodded my approval and backed the cart up, turned it around and drove it into the store. I knew from the first time that she couldn’t see where we were going and didn’t know the aisles until we were on them and she saw the shelves begin to go by, and I’d passed by the aisle I’d wanted to go down several times on that trip, pretending I was looking for something else, gauging her reaction as we passed by the aisle in question to see if there was anything I could spot as a nervousness or fear that we’d head down that aisle, but she’d just sat and looked around at the store and I’d abandoned my hopes and wants and skipped the aisle entirely. Now was completely different, now I was a man with a plan and zero fear of failure.

The aisle came into view, the brightly colored packages beckoning him to them. “First stop.” I said as we turned the corner and I watched her cheeks go pink as she looked at the shelves on either side of her and then up at me with her mouth open in stunned silence.

“What-” she started to say but then looked around her again and then back up to me. “What are we doing on this aisle?” she asked, her voice very quiet and very small, almost trembling with nervous energy.

I smiled down at her. “Well, I wouldn’t be a very good Daddy if I didn’t make sure my little girl was protected from embarrassing accidents, right?” I said nonchalantly as I moved the cart slowly forward.

Her blush darkened but she remained silent, her eyes looking down to the mesh bottom of the cart and the floor beneath.

The ‘D’ word, “Daddy”, not the other one, had only come up during sex up to this point. I’d requested she call me that during and she’d complied without hesitation and my nineteen year old brain immediately assumed that meant she was a little and would absolutely be interested in more ageplay things up to and including the other ‘D’ word, “diapers”.

“I don’t have accidents though.” she said softly, looking up at me with almost pleading eyes.

I nodded and reached forward to pat the top of her head. “And Daddy is very proud of his little girl for doing such a good job at keeping her panties all nice and clean.” I told her in my most syrupy sweet voice, savoring the sight of her blush holding on her normally pale cheeks. “But, remembering to use the potty can be hard when little girls get wrapped up in playing, right?” I asked, looking at the packages as we moved past them.

“Tim, I-” she started to say.

“Daddy.” I interrupted. “Little girls riding in the cart shouldn’t address adults by their first names.” I explained, wondering how far I could take this before she stopped me.

She swallowed hard and chewed her bottom lip nervously. “Daddy, I don’t want to wear…” she started, looking down at her hands as they absently pulled at the leg of her jeans. “diapers.” she finally squeaked out.

“I know, baby, but they’ll be for just in case and Daddy will take you to the potty when you need to go.” I told her.

She looked like she wanted to press the matter but said nothing else for a long moment and then finally looked up at me again, her eyes wet with forming tears. “Please, Daddy, no diapers.” she pleaded softly.

I went around to the side of the cart and knelt down to look at her through the mesh. “You know the word you have to say to stop this.” I reminded her.

She looked at me through the side of the cart and a lone tear fell from her eye and she sniffled but shook her head.

I felt a swell of victory as I stood back up, secure in my power over her and the situation as I went back to the front of the cart. “If you’re going to cry, Daddy can get you a pacifier too.” I offered as I reached out to a small row of pacifier packages hanging from a clip beside the colorful packages and pulled one off and dropped it into the cart beside her.

She made a soft mewling sound as more tears formed and fell but stayed quiet.

“Until we pay for them though, maybe you should just suck your thumb.” I said casually.

Thumb sucking was something else I’d introduced into our sex life, telling her that she needed to be quiet so my mother or her parents didn’t hear us when they were home, delighting in the soft whimpers and moans that came from behind her closed lips as they wrapped around her thumb. I’d gone further with it as time went on, explaining that she could suck on it while pretending it was me in her mouth and once again delighted in her eagerness to suck her thumb as we had sex.

She was fully crying as she bashfully balled her fist up and slowly brought her extended thumb into her mouth, wiping her tears away with the back of her free hand as she sucked softly on the digit.

“There’s my good girl.” I praised as I pulled the cart to the center of the aisle and looked at the largest sized baby diapers they had, picking up a pack and reading it, hiding my satisfaction at seeing her completely obedient to my wishes inside the cart.

I’d done my research ahead of the shopping trip the first time and knew what diapers would fit her, this was all just part of the foreplay for me, knowing that she was allowing herself to be reduced in status with every new request and choosing not to stop what was happening despite having the ability to.

The package went into the cart in front of her so that the smiling baby on the front was locked in an unblinking stare with her as she sat in cowed silence. Wipes and powder followed a moment later and then a package of bottles.

“Would my baby like some nummy cookies?” I asked as we stopped in front of the baby food and I picked up the package of Arrowroot cookies for her to approve.

The memory of her childhood enjoyment of the cookies brought a smile to her face behind her thumb and she nodded eagerly before they went into the cart beside her.

I let up on the gas and calmly drove us away from the diaper aisle. “I’ll bet my baby would like to color a pretty picture for Daddy before her nap, wouldn’t she?” I asked as I turned onto the aisle with the magazines and found the coloring book section. “How about pretty princesses?” I asked her as I held up a generic princess coloring book for her to approve.

She nodded softly and sniffled once more, forcing a little smile up at me.

Into the cart went the coloring book and a pack of chunky crayons meant for less dexterous little hands and I moved to another aisle and got some apple juice for her bottle and a container of milk and chocolate sauce for a special chocolate milk treat and rested my arms on the bar as I leaned forward and smiled at her. “I think we’re all done, baby girl!” I cooed to her. “Unless you can think of anything else.” I offered.

She thought for a moment and lightly shook her head, pulling her thumb from her mouth. “No, Daddy.” she said softly.

“You must be feeling better if you don’t need Mr. Thumb anymore.” I teased as I turned the corner and pushed it toward the checkout.

She blushed and nodded but stayed quiet as we pulled up alongside the checkout belt.

“Thank you for choosing Shop N’ Save, did you find everything you needed today?” an older man behind the register asked.

Older is a relative term, he was probably about my age in the present, but compared to two nineteen year old’s he was an old man.

“Yes sir.” I said as I pulled the items from the cart and put them on the belt, watching her squirm as each more babyish thing came into view of anyone watching, which no one was.

He quickly rang everything up and the young lady at the end of the line bagged them and set them into the cart without a word or even an acknowledgment of the similarly aged girl sitting in the cart, and I thanked them both as I took my receipt and we made our way back to the car.

As I put the bags in the trunk I watched her sitting quietly, wondering what she was thinking about, wondering if she was going to fight with me once we were in the car away from prying eyes.

“Ready to get out?” I asked, making her jump as she was pulled out of her deep thoughts by the sound of my voice.

She nodded and stood up slowly as I held the cart still and quickly shifted to grabbing her and pulling her from the cart to set her on her feet on the asphalt before I took the cart to the return area and went around to her side and unlocked and opened her door for her, helping her down into the seat and reaching in to buckle the seatbelt for her, sneaking a soft kiss onto her cheek making her smile and show her braces for the first time since this trip started.

Once we were on the road I held out my hand and she placed hers in it gently. “Penny for your thoughts, baby?” I asked.

She was chewing her bottom lip again. “I-” she started but stopped, sighing softly. “That was-” she started once more, but stopped again.

“You never said the word to make it stop.” I reminded her.

She nodded softly.

“Did you want me to stop?” I asked.

She said nothing as she looked down at her knees and shook her head softly.

“Talk to me.” I urged calmly. “Please.” I added.

She wiped her eyes again. “When I was little,” she said softly, “maybe seven, I don’t remember, we went on a family trip to my grandmother’s house out of state.” she said. “My sister was only two and hadn’t been potty trained yet, and my mom and dad agreed that it would be a good idea if I wore a diaper for the trip because it was a long drive and the more we stopped the longer it would take.” she explained.

“I take it that wasn’t the best feeling for you.” I said.

She nodded. “I threw the biggest tantrum when they told me and my mom told me that I needed to be a mature big girl about the whole thing and literally lay back and accept it.” she said. “When I didn’t, they agreed that if I was going to act like a baby they were going to treat me like one and I spent the whole drive with a pacifier or a bottle in my mouth like my baby sister.” she explained.

“So, all of this-” I started.

She nodded. “Kind of dredged some stuff up.” she finished.

“Hey, if I’d have known, I wouldn’t have pushed you so hard.” I told her.

She looked at me and smiled with her braces. “I’m glad you did.” she said softly. “I’ve thought about that moment a lot since it happened, and I think it’s the reason that I…” she trailed off.

I squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Aren’t in a rush to make something like that stop?” I asked.

She nodded and suddenly broke out laughing, breaking the quiet of the car and startling me. “God, what a freak I am!” she exclaimed.

I chuckled and kissed her hand. “No more of a freak than I am for wanting to put my grownup girlfriend back in diapers.” I told her.

She squeezed my hand and shifted in her seat to lay her head on my shoulder as she brought her thumb up to her face. “Can we be freaks together forever,” she said before putting her thumb into her mouth, “Daddy?” she asked around her thumb.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes as I squeezed her hand. “I’d love nothing more, baby.” I told her, knowing that we’d never live that life.

As my tears began to fall the world around me began to disappear as I was pulled back to the present, hoping that I hadn’t been crying as I sat in the chair and having to explain things I wasn’t prepared to discuss with Carolina. As everything returned I wiped at my dry eyes and looked up at Carolina, standing at the end of the chair with a sympathetic look on her face.

“I couldn’t see what happened, but based on your readouts it wasn’t all positive for you.” she said. “I’m here if you need to talk.” she offered.

I shook my head and immediately regretted the motion as I turned and vomited into the waiting bucket beside the chair.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

III

“Tea”

Some time after vomiting I’d gotten dressed and took a seat in the chair I’d done my introduction recording in, watching Carolina in the kitchen making tea for the two of us, returning with two coffee cups a moment later which she offered one of to me.

“Still don’t want to talk about it?” she asked.

I shook my head and blew on the tea as I held the cup with both hands.

She sighed softly. “Secrets aren’t healthy, Tim.” she said before sipping her tea.

I scoffed. “So you’re going to tell me what memory you visited then?” I asked.

She looked into her cup and smiled softly at something. “It’s not all that interesting.” she said. “Boring even.” she added.

“Then just tell me.” I said firmly.

Her smile held for a moment after she looked up at me and then faded away. “Remember when we went camping with your brother and his friends when we were thirteen?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I had to sleep in your tent because you were so scared after Jenny Harris told a ghost story or something, right?” I asked.

She made a face that was something between thoughtful and annoyed. “Close.” she said. “I asked you to sleep in the tent with me because I wanted to tell you something but I chickened out.” she explained.

I sat forward and looked at her. “Okay.” I said, my curiosity peaked.

She set her cup down on the small table beside her. “Promise me you won’t judge.” she commanded.

“Jesus, Care, I’m here because of your mad scientist routine, why would I start judging you now?” I asked.

She folded her arms over her chest and stared at me expectantly. “Promise. Me. Tim.” she said more forcefully.

I sighed. “I promise not to judge you.” I said.

She took a deep breath. “I was going to tell you that I loved you.” she blurted out. “That I was IN love with you.” she clarified.

My stomach fluttered and that nauseous feeling welled up again. “Care, you were thirteen, you didn’t know what love was.” I told her.

She shook her head. “No, Tim, I knew then what I know now and what I’ve known all my life, you’re the man that I love.” she said.

I set my cup down. “Still?” I asked dumbly.

She looked up and nodded, making a little apologetic smile. “I went back to that night and confessed everything to you and,” her smile grew, “it was the most freeing feeling I’d ever had, all those years of keeping my feelings bottled up and I finally told you and it was like this weight was lifted off my chest!” she said cheerfully.

“But?” I asked, sensing what was coming, knowing that thirteen year old me was just discovering his secret desires and had no clue what to do with his body and mind anymore than thirteen year old her did.

She wiped a tear from her eye. “But, you weren’t interested.” she said. “Well, you were, just not in me.” she added.

I knew what she was talking about and hated that she’d found out about my secret side that way. “How weird did I get?” I asked hoarsely.

She inhaled through her nose and breathed out calmly. “You know you better than anyone, Tim, you tell me what you think happened.” she said.

I sighed. “Well, I remember that you didn’t want to come camping because you didn’t want my brother and his friends to find out about your…” I trailed off out of respect.

“Say it.” she demanded.

“Bedwetting problem.” I said. “You wore Goodnights until almost the end of high school.” I told her.

She nodded, her cheeks flushing.

“So, if I had to guess, I’d say that I probably got real nervous and said some stupid shit about loving you back and then went right for your pajama bottoms so I could see your diaper.” I explained.

She chewed her bottom lip and wiped another tear away. “They weren’t diapers.” she said defensively.

I nodded. “I didn’t care about the distinction back then.” I confessed.

She looked up at me. “I broke the link before anything else happened, and spent the next hour crying and feeling like the biggest idiot in the world.” she told me.

“You’re not an idiot, Care.” I told her, standing up slowly and moving to her where I knelt down in front of her. “I’m sorry that you walked into a bad situation because of something I was ashamed to have anyone know about me.” I said.

She looked up at me with watery eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the person that made you not ashamed about that part of yourself.” she said.

I pulled her to me and hugged her. “For what it’s worth, there’s always been a part of me that knew you had those feelings.” I told her. “I just couldn’t rationalize you knowing about my weird thing and still wanting to be my friend let alone anything else.” I explained.

She pulled away and sniffled, wiping her eyes and nose with her lab coat sleeves. “I lied to you about my test.” she said. “I didn’t just do one.” she confessed.

I raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” I asked.

She bit her lip. “I’ve spent the last month going back to different memories of us at different times and learning everything I can about your fetish direct from you.” she said. She giggled softly and covered her face to hide the deep blush, “You’re a very good Daddy, Tim, Katie was lucky to have you.” she said.

I shot to my feet and backed away as though her words had been poisonous snakes. “I told you about her?” I asked in disbelief.

She nodded. “The night I went to see you before I went off to “find myself”” she said, making quotation marks with her fingers. “Fourteenth try got you to open up to me while you rocked me in your arms and gave me a bottle of warm milk.” she explained.

My head was spinning and I sat down quickly before I passed out. “You had no right to manipulate me like that!” I snapped. “Katie wasn’t for anyone else to know about!”

She nodded. “I know.” she said. “I’m sorry.” she added. “But Tim, we shared something so deeply perfect and fulfilling that night that I-”

I cut her off. “We didn’t share that, Carolina, you created that moment and only you remember it!” I shouted.

She stood in shock, chewing her lip nervously after I yelled at her. “I know about your fetish now though and willingly participated in it, that means that we can be together!” she yelled. “We can both have what we want, Tim, don’t you see that?” she asked.

I shook my head. “No, you can have what you want and use knowledge you have about me that you manipulated the past to get and expect me to go along with it.” I clarified. “That’s not how this works and you know it.” I added.

She looked down at her feet and folded her arms across her chest. “It’s because I’m not Katie, right?” she asked dejectedly after a long silence.

“New rule, we’re not talking about Katie ever again!” I snapped.

She trembled at my sudden outburst. “Is that where you went today?” she asked.

I sat in silence, my rage building.

“One of the times I went back,” she said quietly, eyes glued to the floor as she absently shuffled her feet. “you told me about the first time you actually tried to open up to her about your fetish.” she continued.

My breathing was getting heavier as I got angrier with every word she said. “Stop.” I said simply but firmly.

She looked up at me and softly shook her head. “You took her shopping, somewhere far enough away that you wouldn’t run into anyone either of you knew.” she continued, her sad eyes locking with my own. “She rode in the cart and you wanted so desperately to go down the diaper aisle with her but you were terrified of losing her.” she was moving closer one step at a time as she spoke.

“I’m warning you, Carolina.” I said, my voice trembling with raw emotion.

She stopped in front of me and got down on her knees, looking up at me. “Did you manipulate history to get what you wanted, Tim?” she asked softly. “Did you live your dream and make the thing you wanted most happen for you?” she asked, her own voice quavering as she blinked away fresh tears.

I looked down at her and immediately shot to my feet with a frustrated growl. “Enough!” I shouted, bending down and grabbing her hand to forcefully pull her to her feet where I planted my hands on her shoulders and stared into her eyes. “I’m a fucking hypocrite, okay?!” I shouted. “I went back and did everything the way I wanted to with Katie on our shopping trip, but you know the difference between me and you, Carolina?” I asked.

She was crying in earnest now and shook her head as a sob escaped her lips.

My own tears were brimming in my eyes now as I blinked them away and fought to keep my voice from breaking. “I’m not hurting anyone by doing what I did.” I told her. “Katie’s-” I swallowed the hard, painful lump in my throat down and hoarsely croaked, “dead.” I finally managed to say. “She’s gone and no matter what I do she’s never coming back and you having a perfect moment for yourself with me in the past only makes a disconnect between us as friends.” I told her, letting go of her shoulders and pulling her into a hug where we both broke down into sobs.

The energy in the room was heavy with sorrow and tension as we stood in our embrace and she finally spoke after what felt like an eternity. “You’re hurting yourself.” she said softly. “Torturing yourself with a life you can’t have, but we can have the life that I experienced and you can have what you want but with me.” she explained.

I broke our embrace and backed away from her, shaking my head before sighing heavily. “How can you be so smart and so clueless at the same time?” I asked. “This isn’t about having someone to be my baby.” I told her. “This is about losing the one person I’ve ever been in love with and regretting being too much of a coward to just be up front with her about who I am.” I explained.

She reached out and took my hand, bringing it to her face and kissing the top of it softly. “I know who you are, Tim.” she said, looking up at me and sniffling as she forced a smile. “I know that you’re the sweetest, most compassionate man I’ve ever met.” she kissed my hand again and moved closer. “I know that when you were cradling me on your lap as I drank that bottle that you were looking at me with love in your eyes.” she said, looking up at me. “I know that I’m in love with you and even though I never thought about it before the night we spent together, I would absolutely love to have you as my Daddy.” she said as she leaned in and tenderly kissed my lips.

I closed my eyes and allowed her to kiss me, returning it after feeling the love she had for me traveling through her lips into my own, a pleasant tingle running up my spine at the sound of her soft, almost whimper like moan into my mouth. The image of Katie smiling at me in the car, her braces showing without hesitation on her part flashed into my brain and I pulled away.

Carolina looked incredibly wounded at my recoiling. “I’m not that bad of a kisser, am I?” she asked self consciously.

I shook my head and sighed. “No, Care, it wasn’t you, it was-” I didn’t finish my sentence.

“Her.” she finished for me, her face contorting into a dejected pout.

I put my hand on her arm gently. “I need time to process all of this.” I said. “I’m sorry, but I need to go and think about everything.” I explained. “I’ll call you when I’ve had a chance to clear my head.” I added as I hurried to the door and awkwardly stood studying it before looking back to her with an apologetic smile.

She sighed and came to the door, entering the required numbers into the keypad, my birth date, I noticed with another nervous flutter in my stomach. She said nothing and made no attempt to look at me as she carried out her task.

The door buzzed loudly and cracked open, allowing me to push it aside and make my way out of the warehouse and to my car, looking back at the once more closed door in the rearview mirror and sighing heavily at the knowledge that nothing could ever be the same between Carolina and I again.

[BobbyDrago]

Wow she's a daft c***.

[TheUnknownAuthor]

On 10/28/2021 at 4:48 PM, BobbyDrago said:

Wow she's a daft c***.

What's that thing from Roger Rabbit? "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."? She's not a daft see you next Tuesday, she's just written to have a lot of things going on, which is to say that maybe I'm not the best writer in the world.

 

IV

“Realization”

I took a sip of my drink and sighed.

“Girl trouble?” the bartender asked me.

The woman behind the bar was tall and thin, her curly black hair smothering her shoulders as she wiped out glasses and chewed on one of the little red stirring straws.

“Something like that.” I said absently.

She nodded and set the glass down to pick up another. “That what you’re in town for?” she asked.

I nodded and sipped.

She set the next glass down and leaned forward with her arms folded on the bar a foot or so to my right. “It gets pretty boring in here on weekday afternoons.” she said. “Not trying to pry into your business or anything but if you wanna talk.” she let the offer hang there for a moment for me to respond.

I sighed. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin trying to explain it.” I told her, forcing a smile. “Thanks for the offer though.” I said, standing up and pulling out my wallet and a ten dollar bill that I lay next to my glass.

“Anytime.” she said listlessly as she moved to get the bill and put it in the register.

I made my way to the elevator and back up to my room, kicking my shoes off and flopping down onto the bed with a huff. After laying with my eyes closed processing my thoughts I pulled out my phone and called Carolina.

“That was fast.” she answered.

“One question, no bullshit.” I said.

“No bullshit.” she agreed.

I sighed. “You built the machine for some kind of grander purpose, yeah?” I asked. “You didn’t build it just so you could joyride through your memories and live out fantasies about me, right?” I clarified.

She was quiet for a long moment and I knew she was chewing her bottom lip.

“Goddammit, Care.” I sighed as I sat up.

“It has practical applications for lots of degenerative brain disorders like Alzheimer’s and Dementia and stuff!” she argued. “But that wasn’t why I built it, no.” she confessed.

I pinched the bridge of my nose as a headache began to build behind my eyes. “You know how fucking insane that makes you look, right?” I asked. “Like next level stalker shit.” I added.

“I can’t help myself when it comes to you!” she whined. “You’re all I ever think about, Tim! Every moment in our lives where you were kind to me and my best friend is a moment where I wanted to tell you how I felt, where I believed that there was something there that meant you had feelings for me too!” she explained. “Do you have any idea how awful it is to be around someone almost your entire life and not have the courage to share something so deeply private and personal to the point that it causes you physical pain every single moment you’re with them?” she asked.

“I mean, yes.” I said, chickening out on actually saying the words.

She scoffed. “Oh yeah, I forgot, you like women in diapers.” she sneered. “Grow the fuck up, Tim, it’s not even remotely the same thing.” she spat.

“It felt like it for me!” I argued.

She sighed. “Look, everyone has something they’re not ready to share with other people at some point in their lives, but we’ve gotten that awkwardness out of the way!” she said. “We both know each other’s deepest, darkest secret and we’re both still standing and still talking to each other, don’t you think that maybe we owe it to ourselves to explore these things for each other and see where it goes?” she asked.

“So, what, we just go on a date?” I asked incredulously.

She was silent for a moment, and I knew I’d hurt her with my tone. “Would it really be so awful to have dinner with me and maybe see if there’s some chemistry between us?” she asked. “I mean, we already kissed and neither of us threw up afterward.” she joked.

I nodded slowly, the headache building. “I’ll come over tomorrow and we can talk about it in person.” I told her. “My head is killing me, are you sure there’s no side effects to this thing?” I asked.

“None that I’ve experienced.” she responded. “Just take some Tylenol and get some sleep.” she said.

“Alright.” I agreed. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, Care.” I said, disconnecting the call after she returned my goodnight sentiment and made my way to the bathroom for some Tylenol before bed.

********

The dream never changes, it’s just varying degrees of awful when it happens. The events all unfold as they did in real life, Katie called me, crying hysterically about the fight she had with her mother about college, she told me she was going to stay at friend’s house for the night but needed me to talk to her and help her calm down. She’d gone the back way because it was faster, but the road was high and had blind corners, the kind of road that every town has with too many little crosses and flowers next to snarled guardrails, the kind of road you don’t like driving on when it’s daytime but avoid when it’s after midnight and you’re crying.

Her scream sends chills down my spine to this day, the kind of raw terror that you only get from knowing you’re about to die. I heard the screech of tires and the crash of her her car going through the guardrail and then the breaking of glass and crunching of metal as the car tumbled end over end for hundreds of feet. I heard her whimpering in pain, apologizing to me and to her parents, begging for her life as her breathing grew more shallow and gurgly then she told me she loved me and called me “Daddy” for the last time and I sat there listening to silence until the sound of sirens came through the phone.

Sometimes I see it happening, my mind imagining me in the car with her, an imaginary passenger on her final drive. I see her braces catch the blinker light, glinting softly before the blood covers them up in a ghoulish final reminder that she’d never have those perfect teeth she’d endured the embarrassment of having braces at her age for. I talk to her but she doesn’t hear me, I tell her things will be okay, lying to her to ease her fear as the light goes out of her eyes.

I didn’t handle her death well, but how does one handle the death of their most loved person in the world “well”? I eventually saw someone and dealt with my grief and guilt, but too many nights were spent passing out after drinking too much or sitting on the bathroom floor with a razor in my hand wishing I could do the one thing that might let me be reunited with her but knowing I was too much of a coward to actually do it. I thought of Carolina a lot in those moments, imagining how she’d feel if I died, imagining her in my same position as she mourned the loss of her most loved person in the world.

After I’d woken up I realized that some part of me must have always known Carolina loved me more than either of us spoke about. I never thought of her mourning me as a friend, crying because her best friend since forever was gone, she was always the kind of throw yourself on the casket because you’re going down in the hole with them you see in movies when a spouse of decades passes suddenly. All of the tender moments we shared in our life were painted in new lights as I saw her feelings plain as day and chided myself for being so blind in the moment. More than that, I now saw that my participation in those moments wasn’t ever done with anything but love in mind, I loved my friend Carolina and wanted her to be happy.

I thought of all the times I’d given her my coat when she was cold, chastising her playfully for never remembering to bring her own, hugging her after putting it on her to make sure she got warm faster. I thought about all the times I’d helped her up when she fell or got hurt and made sure she got a bandaid for her scrapes and kisses on her bumps, not because kisses heal booboos, that’s medicine 101, but because I loved her and never wanted her to feel hurt or sad when there was something I could do to fix it for her. I thought of sharing food and drinks with her at movies or restaurants because she always wanted what she wanted but then when she saw what I had it seemed so much more enticing to her. I thought of all the boys that had made her cry over the years and how I’d been there to hug her and tell her that they were idiots that didn’t deserve her anyway.

I hazarded a trip down a line of thought I didn’t care to visit and wondered if Katie was my way of having Carolina without putting myself through the emotional ringer of losing her if things didn’t work out because of my fetish. They both had the same hair and eye color, were both big nerds, were both slight enough for me to be a strong Daddy for them should they need me to pick them up, and Carolina had the bedwetting problem that I knew about and that I obsessed about, looking for any possible way I could to parlay it into her indulging my fantasies with me. I’d always just assumed it was the diapers that drove me crazy and completely ignored that it might’ve been the girl wearing them that was doing it.

I thought of Carolina kissing me, my brain guilting me into seeing Katie as though I was betraying her memory by sharing a kiss with another woman, but I knew that she never would’ve wanted me to continue suffering alone because I felt guilty. All the pieces starting to fall into place and I knew that I needed to get my head on straight and get to Carolina.

********

“I didn’t think you’d show up so early.” Carolina said in surprise as she let me into her lab, pulling her labcoat closed like a robe.

“I’ve been a complete idiot and probably asshole, Care.” I told her, walking aimlessly through the lab, telling her everything about Katie’s death and my epiphany about the reality of our own relationship and when everything was out I slumped down into a chair with a heavy sigh.

She was wiping tears from her eyes, hearing the story of Katie’s death wrecking her as much as it did me telling it even after all these years. “How have you not ever talked to me about that?” she asked in disbelief.

I shrugged. “Katie was, at least I believed she was, my white whale.” I told her. “I had convinced myself for so many years that no one in their right mind would ever willingly participate in my fantasies, and we never got to a place where she-” I stopped and changed my train of thought, “I know, because of your machine that she would’ve gone headfirst into exactly what I wanted for us and I would’ve married that girl and done the happily ever after thing and it all would’ve been amazing.” I explained.

Carolina was withdrawing, I could see her shifting uncomfortably in her seat and avoiding eye contact, chewing her bottom lip, all signs that she was uncomfortable with what I was saying.

“But.” I said, noticing her rejoin the conversation by looking at me again. “She’s gone and there’s nothing I can do about that and I realized that my love for you over the years was something that I equated to a brother and sister thing because I’d been around you for so long that I didn’t see romantic feelings, and then we kissed and I saw Katie and felt guilty and that doesn’t happen when there’s no chemistry.” I told her, standing up and walking to where she sat so I could kneel down in front of her, my hands taking hers into mine gently. “I’m sorry for not seeing you all this time, Carolina.” I told her.

She was crying again, squeezing my hands softly. “I’m sorry too.” she said softly. “I should’ve told you how I felt a long time ago, but I was so scared of losing you forever.” she confessed.

I smiled at her and leaned forward and kissed her forehead. “It’s all out in the open now.” I said.

She blushed softly. “Almost.” she said quietly.

I looked at her in confusion. “What else is there?” I asked.

She scooted her chair back from me and slowly stood up. “When you were here yesterday you were impressed that I kept my toilet so clean.” she started.

I nodded. “Yeah, everything else in the bathroom looked like a bomb went off, but the toilet-” I began before she cut me off, opening her lab coat and dropping her pajama bottoms.

“Looked like it had never been used?” she asked with a deep blush and a bashful smile.

Around her waist was a swollen diaper with pink teddy bears adorning it, the front yellowed like a bruise.

I looked up at her in stunned silence.

“After I learned about your fetish I kind of fell down a rabbit hole researching it and everything looked so cute and comfy and oh my gosh the first time I actually wore one was like wearing a freaking cloud and then I wet it and it was like this whole other world opened up for me.” she babbled. “I haven’t used the toilet since then and it’s been so freeing to just keep working and not have to stop to go to the bathroom.” she explained with another bashful smile.

My mouth was dry and I was trying to stand up but being at eye level with her nearly leaking diaper was making my legs less than willing to comply.

“I’ve always been a bedwetter, I just told you it stopped when I did because it was embarrassing enough for you to know about it when we were growing up, so I’ve worn some kind of something to bed all my life, but there’s something so naughty feeling about knowing I can go to the toilet but making the conscious decision to just go in a diaper.” she explained. “That’s why I know that I’m all in with this thing, I get you and I get to keep wearing diapers, that’s a no brainer.” she added.

I took a deep breath in through my nose and smelled the acrid scent of her diaper and then I was reaching up and touching the yellowed padding, the soaked gel inside straining against the plastic shell, I was gently squeezing it and prodding it and didn’t realize until she quietly gasped that I was rubbing her tenderest flesh beneath.

“Don’t stop.” she said softly as I started to pull my hand away.

I found my legs and rose, slowing as I reached her face, my hands grabbing the sides of her lab coat and guiding it off of her, letting it fall around her feet as I kissed her lips, softly at first but then more assertively, beckoning her to her tiptoes as I rose to my full height, making her strain to continue kissing me as she softly moaned into my mouth.

My hands slid down her back and to the crinkly padding around her waist and then my palms were cupping her ass as I hoisted her off her feet and held her to me, my tongue discontinuing the playful dance it had begun with hers in favor of outright dominating it. Her legs wrapped around my waist and she grinded her sodden diapered crotch against my stomach.

I carried her to the bed and gently lay her down onto it, breaking our kiss as I leaned over her. “Tell me what you did.” I said softly, my fingers gently but firmly tracing the crotch of her diaper.

She chewed her bottom lip and whimpered softly. “I wet my diaper, Daddy.” she said in a voice I’d never heard come from her, light and babyish in pitch but sultry and full of sexual intent in its tone.

I swallowed hard, grimacing as my hardness pressed against the zipper of my jeans. “Isn’t that what babies are supposed to do, sweetie?” I asked, praying that nothing I was saying came off as cringey and weird despite being the weirdest thing in the world to be saying to someone you’re getting ready to have sex with.

She nodded softly and pointed to the small bedside table above her head. “I need what’s in there, please, Daddy.” she requested, almost desperately.

I reached over her and opened the drawer and smiled at the sight of the NASA logo on the front of the adult sized pacifier within, taking it out and sliding it between her lips. “Still as big a dork as ever.” I whispered, delighting in her blush as she sucked on the teat.

“Now I need what’s in there, Daddy.” she said in perfect babytalk through her pacifier as she touched the hard mound in the front of my pants with the tip of her finger.

My head was swimming as I reached for the tapes of her diaper and ripped them from the plastic surface they’d bonded to, inhaling deeply as the scent of her wet diaper mixed with the lingering scent of powder and also the heady musk of her arousal. I stood up and slipped off my shoes, watching as her fingers began to explore her newly uncovered folds, dropped my pants and underwear and rejoined her on the bed, my tip teasing her as I leaned forward and kissed her forehead, a soft shuddering moan of anticipation escaping around her pacifier followed by a quivering gurgle of pure bliss as I slowly entered her as deeply as I could.

To Be Continued...

[TheUnknownAuthor]

V

“Beginning”

Carolina kissed my neck softly as she lay beside me with one arm and one leg draped over me, her fingers playing with my chest hair. “Well, that certainly didn’t disappoint.” she whispered.

I held her to me with my arm under her neck and my hand on her shoulder absently caressing her smooth skin. “Not even a little.” I told her.

“You’re not into watersports, right?” she asked suddenly, shifting away from me.

I shook my head after a moment. “Never thought about it to be honest, why?” I asked.

She sat up and fished around the bed, moving to all fours to look over the end of the bed sighing in relief as she leaned down and came back up with her discarded diaper, quickly stuffing it beneath her just before she began to pee, the already soaked garment struggling to contain the new flow. She looked over at me and smiled. “I’m not very good at holding it for very long.” she confessed with a little blush.

I reached out and put a hand on her knee as she finished peeing. “What did you do to yourself, Care?” I asked her sympathetically.

She sighed in relief as her flow stopped and she waited for the diaper beneath her to absorb the small pool of liquid she’d created. “Oh, nothing major, just some slight control issues.” she said dismissively.

“How slight?” I asked.

She shrugged. “I have maybe thirty or so seconds of warning before it just comes out.” she explained as she dabbed herself with the diaper and began balling it up to throw away. “It’s never been a problem because I’ve always been wearing a diaper, but you,” she said moving back to me, straddling me and kissing up my torso to my neck until she was face to face with me. “changed everything.” she said before kissing my lips softly.

I put my hands on her hips and kissed her back, my excitement building again.

She giggled into my mouth and wiggled atop me, her sex teasing mine ever so slightly. “You’re insatiable.” she teased.

I shrugged. “What can I say, I’m a simple man.” I told her, watching as she shimmied back down me and lightly kissed my stiffness.

“I wonder how much of this” she began, running a finger up the length of my manhood, “is for me and how much is for the diapers.” she mused.

I looked down at her and smiled. “You’re not wearing a diaper now and I’m still as hard as ever.” I told her.

She nodded. “True, but I did just pee on an open diaper and tell you that I have the bladder control of a toddler.” she explained.

I reached down and grabbed her hands, pulling her gently back up to me, laying her back down beside me for more cuddling. “It’s you, Care.” I told her as I rolled onto my side to face her and kissed her forehead. “I’ll gladly help you get your control back and you can decide not to ever wear a diaper again and I’d still want to be with you.” I explained.

She giggled softly. “Potty training play does sound like fun, but I’m good.” she told me. “So, where do we go from here?” she asked after a long silence where she just lay with me, eyes closed hands clasped in mine.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Well, you have a job and a life halfway across the country, and I have this place and my machine, is this just for fun and then we go back to normal?” she asked.

I took a deep breath and sighed. “I hadn’t really thought about that.” I confessed. “I mean, there’s nothing keeping me where I am, I can find a job somewhere out here.” I said. “I could live here if you wanted me to.” I offered. “I just don’t want you to feel like everything is happening all at once.” I told her.

“Yeah, I’d hate to have the guy I’m in love with drop everything to come and live with me and explore a relationship.” she joked.

I rolled my eyes teasingly. “I know that it sounds like it’d be perfect, but what if I’m not the guy you fell in love with every single day?” I asked. “What if I have some super annoying habit that you learn about and then you regret having me here?” I continued.

She sat up. “First, you’re always super annoying.” she teased. “Second, we’re not getting married, we’d be living together as a convenience to us dating.” she explained.

I nodded. “Does it feel weird to think about dating me?” I asked.

She nodded. “Kinda, yeah.” she admitted. “I mean, it sounds great, but I’ve always just thought about the sex and then we were married, the getting there stuff wasn’t what I fantasized about.” she explained.

“That’s kind of the same thing with the fetish stuff.” I said. “I think about scenarios and play stuff but the actual day to day of being a Daddy and balancing an adult relationship with it isn’t something I’ve mapped out.” I told her.

She shrugged. “So, do we agree that neither of us is prepared to dive head first into this thing we’re both ignorant about?” she asked.

I nodded. “Totally.” I agreed.

“And we agree that this might end up blowing up in our faces?” she asked.

I nodded. “Absolutely.” I agreed.

She chewed her bottom lip. “So, we’re gonna do this thing then?” she asked softly.

I nodded. “Definitely.” I told her as I pulled her down to me and kissed her passionately as we began our second round of lovemaking.

********

“Seriously?” she asked me as she lay naked on the bed after our shower.

I shrugged. “I mean, I’ve seen it done a million times, but no, I’ve never actually diapered someone before.” I admitted as the heat rose in my cheeks.

She wiggled on the bed. “Big bad Daddy Tim doesn’t know how to diaper his own baby girl.” she teased with a playful giggle.

I glowered at her. “Hush.” I commanded as I grabbed her legs to still her and unfolded the new diaper beside her. “It can’t be that hard if a big baby like you can do it for herself.” I teased.

She stuck out her tongue and remained still, allowing me to lift her bottom up by her legs and awkwardly slide the diaper beneath her. “Too far.” she said.

“What?” I asked, looking down at my handiwork once I’d set her back down on the diaper.

She reached down and lifted herself up, repositioning the diaper for me. “It was too far up, you’d have trouble taping it closed.” she explained.

I sighed and reached for the powder.

“Cream first.” she said.

I set the powder back down and reached for the rash cream, squeezing some into my palm and moving between her thighs to rub it in, smiling as she shifted and spread her legs to help me.

“Butt too.” she said, pulling her legs up to her chest when I stopped rubbing the cream into her crotch.

“Inside?” I asked dumbly.

She giggled. “No.” she said. “Although, if you want to play around while you’re back there you can.” she offered. “Just make sure my cute little tushie doesn’t get ouchie, Daddy.” she said with an adorable pout in her voice.

I gently massaged some cream between her cheeks and felt relieved when she lowered her legs to allow me to wipe the cream from my hands with a wet wipe, getting the powder afterward.

“Don’t be afraid to use a lot.” she said.

I dumped out a generous amount of powder on her crotch and rubbed it in and did the same with her backside when she lifted her legs for me once more and then wiped my hands again and brought the diaper up between her legs.

“Make sure it’s snug.” she said. “Don’t cut me in half or anything, but if it’s too loose I’ll leak.” she explained.

I pulled the tapes and stretched them into place, making sure the fit was good and snug for her and did the same with the other side and watched as she wiggled her bottom and sat up, jutting two thumbs into the air as she smiled at me.

“Perfect!” she praised before scooting to the edge of the bed and standing up to come and hug me. “Thank you, Daddy.” she said sweetly.

I hugged her back and kissed her forehead. “You’re welcome, Care.” I said.

“Lina.” she said.

“What?” I asked.

She looked up at me. “If I’m calling you Daddy then I want my baby name to Lina.” she explained. “Care is a dumb nickname.” she added.

I chuckled. “You don’t wanna be Daddy’s little Care Bear?” I asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Yuck.” she said in playful disgust. “My mom called me that til I was like nine.” she said with a shudder.

“I remember the picture of you as a Care Bear for Halloween.” I told her.

She blushed. “I was like one and you absolutely never needed to see that picture.” she said.

I scooped her up from where she stood and put my arms beneath her crinkly butt for support, her arms and legs going around me on instinct. “Lina, huh?” I asked. “I like it.” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

She hugged me again and sighed. “You know what the weirdest part of all of this is?” she asked, head resting on my shoulder.

“What?” I asked.

“That none of this feels weird.” she said. “I mean, we just fucked so much and now here I am being held by you after you put me in a diaper and all I want is a bottle and a cuddle and none of it seems weird.” she explained.

I nodded. “Yeah, I mean, I’m legit living a fantasy and there’s like no surreal feeling at all, just rightness.” I agreed.

“Do you think it’ll always be like that?” she asked.

I set her down and kissed her forehead. “I’m going to do everything I can to make it that way all the time.” I told her.

She looked up at me and smiled. “So will I.” she said softly.

I nodded once and took her hand in mine. “Why don’t we get that bottle and cuddle you wanted and we can talk more about how all of this is going to work?” I asked.

She nodded and bounced up and down happily as I led her to the small kitchen area.

“Bottles are in the back of the right cabinet.” she said, pointing to the cabinet in question.

I opened it and reached behind a few taller containers and grabbed out a baby bottle with cartoon jungle animals going around it with green squiggles intended to be vines and fronds I guessed and unscrewed the top of the bottle before going to the fridge and grabbing the orange juice when I found no milk. “How can you not have milk?” I asked.

“Umm, lactose intolerant, remember?” she asked.

I did remember now that she said it. “Well, those diapers would come in handy.” I teased.

She rolled her eyes and watched me fill the bottle, putting the juice back in the fridge before securing the top on the bottle.

“We can go back to the bed, there’s not really any two person seats here.” she explained.

I took her hand once more and led her back to the bed, taking my spot on it, back against the wall before I helped her up and onto my lap, letting her get comfortable before I held the nipple of the bottle to her lips.

She smiled and opened her mouth to let the nipple in and closed her eyes as she began to nurse while I rocked her in time with her sucking rhythm.

“So, I’m going to head back to my place tomorrow morning and start getting things ready for me to move out of my place and find a job here that I can start once I move.” I told her.

She nodded but kept her eyes closed.

“Realistically, it’s going to take me a few months to do everything I need to do on my end, which means we won’t be together for a little while.” I said glumly, genuinely sad to be away from her for so long.

She nodded again.

“I’d like for us to at least talk every day on the phone, but I think video calls would be a good way for us to not feel like the distance is too much.” I explained.

Another nod.

I smirked. “I also plan on hiring a nanny to stay here with you until I come back to make sure my baby is taken care of.” I teased, bursting out laughing when her eyes shot open in surprise and she sat up, coughing as she pushed the bottle away. “That was a joke to see if you were actually listening.” I assured her.

She sputtered and glowered at me. “I was getting so relaxed.” she said with a pout.

“Aww.” I cooed with exaggerated sympathy. “Was widdle Wina scawed of having a nanny?” I teased.

She lay back with a hrumph and pulled the bottle back to her mouth to resume her nursing, closing her eyes and folding her arms across her chest.

I resumed rocking her and smiled down at her. “I’m sorry, Lina.” I told her. “Daddy would never do anything to hurt or embarrass you.” I added.

She nodded softly and turned her head to let the nipple escape her mouth. “Not without consent.” she clarified, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

I raised an eyebrow. “I feel like explanation is required.” I said.

She shook her head. “When you come back to live here with me we can unpack all the things that we want out of this part of our relationship, but until then you’ll just have to wait and wonder, mister.” she said with a satisfied smirk as she took the nipple into her mouth once more to finish her bottle.

“What about what we want out of the rest of the relationship?” I asked.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me, cocking her head to the side subtly.

I smiled. “Marriage and kids and stuff.” I said.

Her eyes widened with surprise and she moved to let the bottle out of her mouth again but I held it in place and kept her laying down.

“When I come back to live here with you we can unpack all the things we want out of our relationship.” I told her, parroting her own words back to her.

She narrowed her eyes in frustration but her gaze softened and she nodded before closing her eyes once more.

When the bottle was empty I set it aside and replaced it with her pacifier as I let her off my lap and lay down on the bed, pulling her into my arms for cuddles, moving both of our bodies in a light rocking motion. “I’m going to miss you.” I told her.

She nodded. “Miss you too, Daddy.” she said softly through her pacifier.

We stayed there rocking together until she began to softly snore, the pacifier hanging precariously out of her mouth, and I just watched her sleep thinking about how perfect all of this was and how thankful I was to have her in my life. As I closed my eyes to join her in a nap my mind decided that that was the perfect time to wonder when the other shoe would drop and all of this would fall apart, and my eyes opened and I sighed as I stupidly indulged that line of thinking.

 

To Be Continued...

[BabySofia]

Spending a day off reading and catching up on some things I hadn't read yet. I like this, but wonder a lot about this 'time machine.' Is it really a time machine, or just some way to delve into your memories and desires? If it was really a time machine there would be causality issues...? 

Either way their relationship is developing nicely and I look forward to more!

[TheUnknownAuthor]

On 11/23/2021 at 3:05 PM, BabySofia said:

Spending a day off reading and catching up on some things I hadn't read yet. I like this, but wonder a lot about this 'time machine.' Is it really a time machine, or just some way to delve into your memories and desires? If it was really a time machine there would be causality issues...? 

Either way their relationship is developing nicely and I look forward to more!

Without spoiling anything, it is most definitely not a time machine, but just because you're not traveling back in time doesn't mean you can't cause issues...

I appreciate you taking the time not only to read my story but to leave a comment as well, thank you very much!

 

VI

“Lina”

“We’ll talk every day, right?” she asked me sullenly.

I lifted her chin with my crooked finger and kissed her softly on the lips. “Every single day.” I told her.

She wiped her eyes with the sleeves of her overly long sweater, the only thing she was wearing over her newly changed diaper, leaving her bare legs exposed in a decidedly sexy way. “This is so stupid, why am I crying?” she grumbled.

“Because you miss me.” I told her.

She nodded. “Yeah, but it’s not like we haven’t been apart for years before this.” she said.

“Yeah, but we weren’t together then.” I explained. “I miss you too, Lina.” I said softly.

She bowed her head and hugged me, burying her face into my shoulder. “Call me when you land, okay?” she requested.

I hugged her back and nodded. “First thing.” I said.

We parted after a long hug and she kissed my lips once more. “I love you, Daddy.” she said, her voice slipping into the higher and tinier sounding tone she’d adopted when she was little with me.

“I love you too, sweetie.” I said. “Be a good girl, okay?” I requested.

She nodded softly and chewed her lower lip as she once again wiped her eyes.

I made my way to my car, backing toward it, drinking in every last second of seeing her in person that I could before I got into the car and left for the airport, watching her toddle back inside before I turned the corner and was unable to see her anymore.

********

I had a plan for as soon as he’d left, laying in bed moping and sucking my pacifier wasn’t initially part of it, but I didn’t realize how strongly attached to him I’d become again after only a few days together. I’d loved him since as far back as I could remember, but I’d never felt so empty and sad as I did now that we’d become more than best friends.

I forced myself to get out of bed after an hour or so of feeling sorry for myself and went to my desk, plopping down in my chair, wiggling my soggy bottom a little as I booted up my computer. My plan was to tweak some of the settings on my machine now that I had so many new data points thanks to Tim’s test. I adjusted some of the quantum vectors and increased the probability amplitude a smidge, carried the one and hit enter on the keyboard to begin the calibration before making my way to the kitchen for some coffee.

The first part of my plan was to make my adjustments, the three hour calibration time was a bummer, leaving me wandering around the warehouse aimlessly with a tummy full of butterflies like I was a little girl again waiting for my parents to get coffee and wake up enough to open presents on Christmas morning.

My phone started ringing a short time later and I smiled broadly as the image of Daddy’s sleeping face came up on the screen, I was very proud of my not at all creepy picture that I’d taken the day before when I’d woken up during our nap together and snapped it before gently rousing him awake with some light kisses on his Daddy parts.

“Hi, Daddy!” I chirped as I answered the video call.

He smiled. “Hi, Lina, are you being a good girl?” he asked.

I nodded vigorously. “I am!” I told him.

“What are you up to?” he asked.

I shrugged and went to the bed, flopping down on it with my phone held above me so he was looking down at me. “Nothing much, just missing you.” I said with a pout.

He nodded. “I miss you too, baby, this place is too quiet, it needs bare little feet slapping on the floor.” he told me.

I blushed and giggled, my toes wiggling at the mention of them. “This place needs a big, strong, smelly good Daddy type person.” I told him.

“I’ll be there before you know it.” he told me, his smile making me feel all warm and happy inside.

I chewed my bottom lip. “Daddy?” I asked.

“Yes, sweetie.” he said, taking a drink of the dark liquid from his glass.

I tried to calm the butterflies in my tummy, feeling like I should tell him what I was really up to, but knowing he’d just disapprove and then we’d argue and he’d worry about me, the butterflies won and I sheepishly shook my head. “Never mind.” I said.

He furrowed his brow. “Lina, do you need to tell Daddy something?” he asked, his voice striking a chord in me that I was dimly aware stemmed from my childhood as I dribbled into my already soaked diaper, the kind of expectant tone that also served as an open ended warning against fibs.

I shook my head again. “No, Daddy!” I insisted.

He sighed. “Does Daddy need to count to three?” he asked.

Another dribble. He was so flipping good at putting me in that little head space that blurred the lines between adult relationship and parent/guardian that the pleasant tingle up my spine actually made me feel supremely naughty and guilty for experiencing it. “No.” I said with a pout.

“One.” he said firmly.

My mind began to race with possible lies I could spin to throw him off the reality of what I was doing, the silly and ridiculous image of him flying all the way back to me just to spank me flitting through my imagination briefly before being dismissed for what it was.

“Two.” he continued.

My heart was racing, butterflies stomping my guts with their delicate feet making my tummy do somersaults as I chewed my lip and desperately tried to come up with something.

“Two and a half.” he warned.

I squeaked and shut my eyes. “I hafta poop!” I blurted out.

I heard his chuckling and opened my eyes slowly.

“Is that all?” he asked.

I blushed and nodded.

“Were you embarrassed to ask Daddy if you could use the potty?” he asked.

I shook my head, falling into the role I’d cast myself in in this little farce I’d suddenly created. Not that I hadn’t wanted to do this for him, and me, while he was here to handle the clean up, but I’d never done that around anyone else and I wasn’t sure if he expected me to use my diapers for everything or not, so I’d literally pushed it down and ignored it.

He smiled knowingly. “Were you embarrassed to poop your diaper in front of me?” he asked.

I nodded softly.

He sighed. “Lina, do you want to be my baby?” he asked.

I nodded again.

“And you want to wear diapers like a baby, right?” he asked.

Another nod.

“Well, don’t babies poop their diapers?” he asked.

My tummy bubbled as I nodded.

He sat back on his couch. “Set your phone up on the nightstand so I can watch you go.” he commanded calmly.

I blushed and rolled over, setting the phone against the lamp before slipping my sweater off and crawling to the center of the bed with my butt facing him. “Like this?” I asked dumbly, my little voice creeping up in my throat.

“That’s perfect, angel.” he praised.

I felt my face warm as I began to gently push, feeling everything I’d been ignoring the past few days move lower and begin to exit my body into the already soaked padding of my diaper. Resistance was reached against the seat of my crinkly underpants and I wiggled my bottom a bit and grunted as I forced against it and felt the mass continue on, my blush growing hotter at the crackling sounds I was sure he could hear and the little toots of gas between more sizable pieces. I felt relief wash over me as the last of it fell into the drooping pouch behind me, the remainder of my bladder emptying as I sighed softly.

“All done?” came his voice.

I wanted to look at him, to see his reassuring smile and see the love and appreciation in his eyes, but I was feeling so shy and embarrassed that I couldn’t bring myself to move from my position. “Yes, Daddy.” I said softly, all traces of my normal voice banished away until I needed it later.

“Turn around, baby.” he commanded.

I swallowed hard and slowly turned, eyes on the bed as I heard my diaper rustle and felt the weight of my mess sway softly with each small movement.

“Look at me, Lina.” he said.

I raised my head slowly and let my eyes do the same after a moment, and I saw his smile and the love in his eyes and felt so small and clingy, tears forming in my eyes at the realization that I was wet and messy and in need of cuddles and wasn’t going to get them.

“Daddy is very proud of you, baby.” he told me.

I sniffled and nodded. “Thank you, Daddy.” I said softly.

 

He smiled at me, love and warmth in his eyes. “I know it’s hard not having me there, sweetie, but before you know it I’ll be right there with you and everything will be all better.” he explained.

I forced a smile. “I know.” I said glumly.

He sat forward. “I want you to have a nice shower and get into some clean clothes and do something productive with the rest of your day, okay?” he asked. “No sitting around like a bump on a log until I come back.” he warned.

I nodded. “I love you, Daddy.” I said, looking at him longingly.

He blew a kiss to me. “I love you too, Lina.” he said.

We said our final goodbyes and I waited for him to disconnect the call before I flopped face down onto the bed with a heavy sigh thinking about how hard it was to deceive him and wishing I could just be honest with him about everything like we had been when we’d decided to become more than friends. I felt a pang of guilt at the thought that our newly begun relationship was already starting on a foundation of lies but pushed the thought out of my head when I smelled myself, forcing my body to right itself and march to the shower.

********

Freshly bathed, powdered, lotioned and diapered, I slipped back into my sweater and went to my desk, sitting down with a giddy flutter in my stomach at the completion message on the screen. I tapped away on the keyboard, entering the date I wanted into the field and initiating the sequence before hopping out of the chair and into the one with the machine attached to it, securing the headpiece onto myself as I mentally counted down the time until I’d enter the desired memory.

My vision blurred and the room zipped away from me as though I’d been launched out of a cannon, the almost deafening rush of sounds and voices filled my ears and made me clench my teeth just to get through it until the sound died out and the world returned completely dark save for a single flickering light. I blinked repeatedly to focus my vision and the blurry light became a small flame and the pink blob beneath it smoothed and became a more defined shape. I felt myself smile, recognizing the shape, pleased with myself for picking the perfect day.

“Make a wish, birthday girl.” my mother’s voice encouraged from the darkness.

I leaned forward, a familiar rustling sound coming from below the tray of the highchair I was seated in making me feel that giddy flutter in my stomach once more as I took a deep breath and blew out the little candle, plunging the room into complete darkness once more until the lights flipped on and I saw family and friends gathered around the kitchen table clapping and praising me for blowing out the single candle.

My mother appeared beside me to remove the candle from the cake and pull the cake toward her and cut a wedge from it, putting it on a small paper plate with ‘Happy Birthday’ in pastel pink bubble letters on it that she set on the tray before me, kissing the top of my head. “Happy sweet sixteen, Lina.” she said lovingly.

To Be Continued...

[Sarah Penguin]

On 11/23/2021 at 3:05 PM, BabySofia said:

Spending a day off reading and catching up on some things I hadn't read yet. I like this, but wonder a lot about this 'time machine.' Is it really a time machine, or just some way to delve into your memories and desires? If it was really a time machine there would be causality issues...? 

Either way their relationship is developing nicely and I look forward to more!

I love causality issues.  That's how I became a penguin

[BabySofia]

53 minutes ago, Sarah Penguin said:

I love causality issues.  That's how I became a penguin

?

[TheUnknownAuthor]

On 11/26/2021 at 9:09 PM, Sarah Penguin said:

I love causality issues.  That's how I became a penguin

I would love to hear that story! ?

[TheUnknownAuthor]

VII

“Troublemaker”

A warm tickle alerted me to the fact that I was wetting myself, no warning ahead of the release or feeling of needing to go, just dry one moment and wet the next. I felt a rush of excitement welling up inside of me as the world rocketed away from my vision and I was thrown back to my lab, sitting in the chair connected to my machine once more.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit.” I chanted excitedly to myself as I removed the head piece and leapt from the chair to my desk, looking at the data I’d collected from my experiment. I picked up my camera and hurried over to the tripod to set it up, turning it on and hitting record before taking a seat in the chair in front of it.

“Test one sixty-seven has proven successful, adjusting the settings on the machine allowed me to merge two memories into one space.” I told the camera. “I took the memory of my sixteenth birthday and, using photos of my second birthday, manufactured a memory where I was still diapered and in a highchair for my sixteenth birthday.” I explained. “Confirmation was achieved by my mother wishing me a happy sixteenth birthday as she served me a plate of cake in my highchair.” I added.

I suppressed a giddy giggle, maintaining my professional demeanor. “This proves that we can in fact manufacture memories for people, the ramifications for victims of abuse or trauma in early childhood, PTSD, Dementia and other debilitating brain disorders is simply astounding.” I said. “Further tests will be conducted and data will be saved for further research and testing.” I concluded, rising to turn the camera off.

My mind was swimming with possibilities for what I could test with this new discovery, decades of memories were at my disposal, ripe for altering to fit whatever narrative I desired. I felt a pang of longing for Tim and brightened up almost immediately when the perfect memory came to mind sending me hurrying back to my computer to enter the parameters for the test. I stared at the ‘duration’ box and chewed my lip nervously, I’d only ever gone as long as an hour personally, and I’d let Tim go for a half hour, but those memories were normal, I was planning on messing with things in a big way, merging mental realities to create a living, breathing memory fantasy for myself.

“Fuck it.” I thought to myself as I entered four hours into the box and submitted it, clicking ‘ok’ for the numerous warnings that popped up advising me against what I was planning.

I opened up the folder of photo’s my mom had sent me and went to the folder of me as a one year old, taking in the scenery of each photo, the furniture in my nursery, the decorations in the house, my clothes, the diapers I wore, I drank everything in and committed it to my memory as I married it with the memory I’d chosen for this test. Over and over and over in my mind I played the memory and added pieces of my infancy to it until I felt that I had a strong enough memory created to get what I wanted out of the machine and hit ‘enter’ and hopped into the chair and slid the head piece on so I could close my eyes as the rushing sound of noise and voices whizzed past me.

********

The original memory wasn’t anything special to anyone but me. I was a week removed from my eighteenth birthday, preparing to head off to college in a few months, my parents were on an anniversary cruise and I was home alone. I’d settled into my room to watch a movie and relax and Tim had knocked on my window, having been locked out of his house with no one to call and no one coming home until the following day. I’d let him in and we spent the evening together watching the previously mentioned movie together on the couch and I’d fallen asleep with my head on his thigh, waking up some point later on in a panic that I’d fallen asleep without getting my nightly protection on. I hadn’t had an accident and Tim had fallen asleep as well, my stirring doing nothing to bring him awake and I just watched him sleep for a minute like some kind of crazed fangirl and kissed his cheek, my heart pounding in my chest at the image of him waking up to find me doing so and covered him up and went to bed, finding him gone the next morning with a note taped to my bedroom door that just read ‘Thanks for letting me sleep over.’.

To me, it was one of the happiest memories I had of he and I together pre revealing all of our secrets to one another and entering a romantic relationship. It was something that I’d revisited in my mind theater when I needed to feel better or less lonely, the memory of him just sharing time with me and allowing me to fall asleep on him without any interruption or awkwardness. I choose to imagine he stroked my hair while I lay there, my eyes growing heavier as everything outside of that soft and tender touch faded away and my thoughts dimmed to be nothing more than a gentle descent into relaxed slumber.

I’d opted to desecrate that memory, twist it into a perverted fantasy to immerse myself into the world I was planning on exploring once Tim came to live with me. Using the photo of my one year old self in my playpen in the living room as reference, I entered the “memory” in said playpen, a glance down at my body revealed it to be adult in size but infantile in dress, just as I’d intended. I was sporting the ultra fashionable rainbow horizontal striped onesie with Cheer Bear from the CareBears on the front of it in a little circle, her rainbow adorned tummy stuck out to proudly display the symbol as she held her arms out in a cheer, or for hugs or whatever she was doing. Beneath the snaps of the onesie was the thick padding of my diaper, all I could see was white through the gaps in the fabric but I hoped I’d managed to conjure a sized up baby diaper into existence.

I looked around at the living room, everything decorated just as it had been in the photo I’d studied, a comically oversized motorized baby swing across the room, toys scattered around the playpen I was in as well as a few outside on the living room floor, the kitchen beyond holding the same highchair I’d been in during my earlier birthday memory. Everything was perfect so far and I looked over at the small mirror attached to the little plastic toy hanging on the side of the playpen, smiling at my eighteen year old self, my hair in little pigtails on either side of my head that lightly smacked against my head as I swished it back and forth, producing a giggle from me, much to my own surprise.

“Who’s that pretty girl in the mirror?” his voice asked.

My diaper warmed slightly, my continence still very much out of my control, as I looked up at him leaning over the side of the playpen. He was exactly as he had been all those years ago, handsome and strong but not muscular looking. He was thin and fit, the benefit of being a soccer player for many years, his smile bringing another spurt of warmth as I stared at him in awe of his handsomeness.

“Can you say ‘Lina’?” he asked, his smile encouraging as he pointed to my reflection in the little mirror.

I opened my mouth, my mind forming the words as it normally would, but the “word” that came out was nothing more than a soft babble, the kind of nonsensical string of sounds one would expect from a one year old, despite that one year old being eighteen. I felt a surge of panic at the realization that I couldn’t speak, my hopes of having a conversation with him while he took care of me dashed away in an instant.

“Leeennnaaa.” he repeated, stretching each letter out to try and teach me how to say the four letter word.

A very different four letter word was in my mind at that moment, the sheer embarrassment of him talking to me like I was exactly the kind of stupid baby I actually was making my cheeks flush as I looked away from him.

He leaned down and hoisted me up to my feet with his hands beneath my armpits and quickly lifted me up and over the top of the playpen, his arms crossing beneath my butt to support me as I wrapped my arms and legs around him on instinct. “Don’t be shy, Lina, you’ll get it some day.” he said reassuringly as he carried me to the couch and sat down with me.

I pouted unconsciously as he softly bounced me on his lap at the realization that I’d effectively removed the adult part of being an adult baby from the equation and made myself a giant, empty headed baby with a fully functioning adult behind the wheel, powerless to control anything for herself. I’d wanted him to babysit me, flirt with him during a diaper change and have some naughty fun in the prime of our young lives, but none of that was going to happen now and I was stuck here for four hours. I felt my bottom lip quivering as my vision blurred and I started crying, my emotions as out of my control as my potty training.

“Aww, it’s okay, baby.” he said softly, retrieving the pacifier clipped to the front of my onesie and putting the bulb between my lips before he hugged me to him and rubbed my back in little circles.

My diaper warmed anew as my sucking reflex kicked in immediately, calm washing over me as he rubbed my back and softly bounced me. Every touch and feeling was turned up to eleven for me, like I was high or every nerve in my body was on display with nothing to desensitize or dull the interaction, his bouncing of me was like me pleasuring myself in the tub with the shower head, his rubbing of my back was like being wrapped in a warm blanket while puppies licked my face and I pleasured myself in the tub with the shower head. I wasn’t aroused in the slightest, orgasm was the furthest thing from my mind, if my current form even knew what orgasms were, I was just supremely content and overloading on raw pleasure in its purest and most innocent form.

“There, that’s better.” he whispered.

I felt a pleasant tingle run down my scalp and spine as I rested my head on his chest, the calm, rhythmic beat of his heart filling me with warmth and bliss I’d never felt before. ‘Daddy’ and ‘love’ and ‘Lina’ tumbled around in my brain, not together at any point, more like one and then another and then another like flashes of subliminal messages within television static. I knew what I wanted to think and say but my real world mind was becoming entrenched in this infantile quagmire of my memory me’s mind, and I didn’t care even a little bit.

“Are you ready for a nap, baby?” he asked rhetorically, standing up with a grunt as he shifted me in his arms and headed up the stairs with me.

I wanted to struggle against him, to fight going down for a nap that I knew would run out my time here and put me back in my lab alone and missing him, but he was warm and strong and smelled so flipping good. I clung to him lazily, my muscles deciding to become spongy and useless as they ignored my commands. I tried to speak again but only managed a few gurgling noises stifled almost completely by the pacifier between my lips, a grunt of frustration following a moment later, the purpose of it forgotten almost as soon as the noise left my throat.

“Right, change first then.” he whispered as he patted my bottom as we reached the top of the stairs.

The patting felt dull through the thick diaper and onesie, but there was an almost sticky feeling as he pressed his hand against my seat over and over. Felt my toes wiggling as a wet giggle burbled up from behind my pacifier.

“You think it’s funny to stick me with a poopy diaper before your nap, huh?” he asked, not expecting an answer.

I smelled it only after he said the words and where I would’ve blushed and felt some kind of surprise at having messed myself without realizing it, I still felt the euphoria of being in his arms until I was on my back on the changing table looking up at him, my head lolling to the side to see the crib across the room and the toys on the brightly colored rug in front of it. I felt the snaps of the onesie pop as he tugged the fabric downward, bunching it up beneath me as he expertly pushed my butt up with a lift of my legs.

He sighed. “Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you weren’t a baby?” he asked as he gathered up the changing supplies and set them beside my hip.

I wanted to answer and then I didn’t want to, my eyes catching the mobile above my crib, the memory of the tinny music it produced as it slowly turned above me making my eyes feel heavy and a yawn escape me.

“Would we be friends?” he asked as he ripped the tapes on the diaper and opened it.

The cool air made me wiggle, the warmth of my used diaper returning briefly to catch a spurt of pee that came from the reaction to the air.

He wiped me gently, clinically, paternally, ensuring I, the baby, was properly cleaned for her new diaper to be affixed to her before her nap. “More?” he asked, sighing again as he balled up the used diaper.

I wasn’t really listening to him, I heard his voice, the deep and calming tone of it replacing whatever I’d been thinking about that had made me feel drowsy and felt my head turn again to see him unfolding a new diaper, the colorful Sesame Street characters on the front making me giggle and wiggle, his open palm on my chest gently holding me still as he lay the diaper down and lifted my legs to slip it beneath my bottom.

“You know, in another world I’d be going crazy about this.” he confessed as he powdered my front and backside. “Girls in diapers are kind of a big turn on to me.” he continued as he brought the diaper up and taped it into place snugly. He smiled down at me as he pulled the onesie back down and snapped it closed. “But you’re just a cute little baby in a big girl body, aren’t you?” he asked as he picked me up once more, hugging me to him as he put the used diaper in the pail near the changing table.

I was drifting in and out of sleep as we made our way to the crib, nothing but his warmth and calming presence registering to me.

He lay me down and covered me up, kissing my forehead softly before pulling the side of the crib into place, standing up and winding the mobile, smiling down at me as the soft, tinny music filled the room. “In another world I’d probably marry you.” he whispered. “How could I not want to spend my life with someone so sweet and beautiful?” he wondered aloud to himself.

He was there and gone with a wistful sigh between my heavy eyes being open and closed and opened again and I fell asleep without knowing or understanding anything about what he’d been saying.

The “dreams” I had while I napped were a hodgepodge of memories jumbled up and spliced together in a scattered disarray of nonsense, I was in my lab in my playpen and young Tim was sitting in a chair watching me and smiling while Daddy Tim was undressing in the bedroom, standing beside normal me as she lay on the bed rubbing herself seductively for him. I blinked and my mind switched bodies and I found myself staring up at Daddy, my mouth watering as his cock bobbed for a moment as it escaped his lowering pants. Baby me was squatting in the playpen, somehow I knew what she was doing, and young Tim was patting her head softly and praising her in a distant, impossible to hear voice.

********

The lab returned around me as my eyes fluttered open at the sound of the real world rushing back to me and I removed the headpiece and sat forward on the chair, feeling the familiar sensation of a very full diaper beneath me. For a split second I felt like I wanted to cry, my brain recognizing that the feeling in my diaper was unpleasant and crying would make that go away once someone changed me and then my normal thoughts snapped into place and I shook the fog in my head away and rose to my feet to go change, my legs wobbling unsteadily, as I reached back to the arm of the chair to steady myself.

I tried to take a step and felt zero stability and felt the urge to cry well up again as fear and uncertainty took hold of me. Lowering myself to the floor, I found those feelings evaporating as the safety of being on the floor on all fours filled me with ease and I crawled forward, looking for my toys.

Music started playing across the room and I crawled to it, the source of the song eluding me until it stopped and I looked around for my toys again and then the music returned and I looked around for the source of that, my frustration at hearing the music but not seeing anything that could be making it bring my lower lip to trembling as tears built up in my eyes. I was uncomfortable, hungry, bored, scared, confused and a thousand other emotions all at once and no one was taking care of me and all I could manage to do was throw my head back and wail as loud as I could for someone to come and fix everything.

********

I’d managed to cry myself to sleep, waking up some time later to the horrid stench of my now leaking diaper, sighing in disgust as I gingerly got up from the floor and grabbed my phone off the bed, seeing that Tim had called four times and left me an increasingly concerned sounding voicemail each time. I called him back and he answered immediately.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded and then remembered I had to talk as he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, I was sleeping.” I said, searching for a lie and stumbling upon an almost truth.

“You could’ve told me you were taking a nap so I wouldn’t bother you.” he chided.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” I said softly, feeling terrible that he was disappointed in me, that feeling of wanting to cry coming up again.

“It’s fine, I just wanted to check in with you and let you know that I miss you.” he said sweetly.

I stood there bowlegged thinking about what I wanted to say to him, pee softly dripping onto the floor between my legs as a fresh flow trickled down my leg in little, tickling rivulets. “Wet.” I thought, grinning like an idiot with pride at recognizing something and correctly identifying it.

“Did you just wake up?” he asked, clearly assuming I’d wet in my sleep and was still waking up.

My thoughts were swimming, waves of confusion crashing over me as I tried to cling to my adult thoughts, pouting as they slipped away from me and teased me with their mercurial evasiveness. I was starting to get really scared and realized I was crying and babbling, the phone laying on the floor in front of me. As I looked down at it, I realized all too late that it was rushing up to meet me as I fell forward and caught myself with a hand on the bed, reaching for the phone with my other hand.

“Carolina, answer me!” Tim shouted, his voice full of worry.

I panted, my heart throbbing in my chest, my vision growing darker around the edges, pulsating with every beat of my heart. “Daddy, I’m scared.” I said softly.

“What’s happening?!” He asked me.

I shook my head and the world began to spin violently. “No feewl good.” I mumbled as I wretched and threw up most of the contents of my stomach before slumping to the floor with a squish on my padded butt, my emotions bubbling over as I began to whimper and mewl and tip sideways to the floor, dimly aware that I’d hit my head on the concrete as my vision went white in a flash of pain and then everything faded away entirely.

To Be Continued...

[BabySofia]

Uh-oh...

[Sarah Penguin]

On 11/28/2021 at 3:14 PM, TheUnknownAuthor said:

I would love to hear that story! ?

I went back in time tracking down the common ancestor of mammals when  they just born and returned to the present. No more globale rise of humans cause they along with the rest of the mammals. The new present world was ruled by penguins and some convergent psedomammals. Most of humanity got turned into penguins. Only I remember tweirdly  he original timeline as far as I know

 

[TheUnknownAuthor]

15 hours ago, BabySofia said:

Uh-oh...

...I guess there might be some slight causality type issues...

 

14 hours ago, Sarah Penguin said:

I went back in time tracking down the common ancestor of mammals when  they just born and returned to the present. No more globale rise of humans cause they along with the rest of the mammals. The new present world was ruled by penguins and some convergent psedomammals. Most of humanity got turned into penguins. Only I remember tweirdly  he original timeline as far as I know

 

Not gonna lie, I would watch a movie of your harrowing journey.

[DiaperedPrince]

@TheUnknownAuthor I can't believe how you can weave words and the simple idea of time travel but only with memories into such a breathtaking story. When I read this last night I thought "I wish I didn't read that last chapter", but now I just want to see what's to come. Causality is quite the force to reckon with, but from what I've read so far I think you'll do a great job with it.

If I were Carolina I'd stop before playing mix-and-match with memories, altering your memories is never a good idea!

@Sarah Penguin You're very very hilarious. ?

And the princess is right... uh oh!

[TheUnknownAuthor]

1 hour ago, DiaperedPrince said:

@TheUnknownAuthor I can't believe how you can weave words and the simple idea of time travel but only with memories into such a breathtaking story. When I read this last night I thought "I wish I didn't read that last chapter", but now I just want to see what's to come. Causality is quite the force to reckon with, but from what I've read so far I think you'll do a great job with it.

If I were Carolina I'd stop before playing mix-and-match with memories, altering your memories is never a good idea!

@Sarah Penguin You're very very hilarious. ?

And the princess is right... uh oh!

Time travel and causality are something that's incredibly fascinating to me but the sheer ease of which someone can completely screw up a narrative using them makes me very worried about sticking the landing with this one, but I appreciate the vote of confidence! Thanks so much for taking the time to read my story and let me know what you think of it, I'm glad you're enjoying it!

[Sarah Penguin]

On 12/2/2021 at 11:45 AM, TheUnknownAuthor said:

...I guess there might be some slight causality type issues...

 

Not gonna lie, I would watch a movie of your harrowing journey.

wheee

[DiaperedPrince]

Some things I still don't get:

How she's able to not change history. Not changing history would imply that everything is in the travellor's mind (i.e. revisiting history inception-style), but it wouldn't be possible to learn new things from others, since the travellor wouldn't know about them? If it's like a Groundhog Day type thing then having it happen in the past would create issues right?

When Carolina thinks of two different memories and ends up as a baby on her 16th birthday, wouldn't she have an equal probability of being 16 and celebrating her 2 year old birthday? How was she able to control which memory was the "dominant" one, and how was she able to fuse multiple memories together?

Most people don't remember being 2, and she had to rely on photos of her 2nd birthday, so those aren't technically her memories, how was she still able to go back there? If she saw a photo of say John Quicy Adams (first US president to be photographed), would she be able to visit that "memory" then?

[nadine_enough]

As I understand, it's kind of like Inception. These are constructed false memories by the person using the machine. The machine is probably amplifying the user's imagination in some way, which is how she was able to control her experience of "baby at 16" rather than "teenager at 2". When Carolina used the machine for too long, it overwrote the constructed memory she had in her mind from the photographs with the false memory from the machine. So now her body is adapting to the adult baby memories. That's how I read it, at least.

Edited December 4, 2021 by nadine_enough
formatting

[TheUnknownAuthor]

13 hours ago, Sarah Penguin said:

wheee

? also, +1 for your location, Ten is my Doctor of choice.

10 hours ago, DiaperedPrince said:

Some things I still don't get:

How she's able to not change history. Not changing history would imply that everything is in the travellor's mind (i.e. revisiting history inception-style), but it wouldn't be possible to learn new things from others, since the travellor wouldn't know about them? If it's like a Groundhog Day type thing then having it happen in the past would create issues right?

When Carolina thinks of two different memories and ends up as a baby on her 16th birthday, wouldn't she have an equal probability of being 16 and celebrating her 2 year old birthday? How was she able to control which memory was the "dominant" one, and how was she able to fuse multiple memories together?

Most people don't remember being 2, and she had to rely on photos of her 2nd birthday, so those aren't technically her memories, how was she still able to go back there? If she saw a photo of say John Quicy Adams (first US president to be photographed), would she be able to visit that "memory" then?

I've gone back and forth on whether or not to be honest here or try and BS my way through it and I decided that honesty is the best policy, so, I came up with the concept of the memory machine and what it could do, up to and including patchworking memories together, and ran with it without addressing the issues you've brought up here. Good on you for thinking of these things and bringing them up, by the way.

So, knowing that I maybe did a bit of a hack job when it comes to the details, I feel like addressing your concerns outside of the story would spoil the story, taking the punch out of what's happening for the sake of answering your questions. I will say that you've raised some very good concerns and I'm committed to, given my level of ability, trying to make those concerns make sense while also keeping the course of the story as I see it flowing, if that makes sense.

7 hours ago, nadine_enough said:

As I understand, it's kind of like Inception. These are constructed false memories by the person using the machine. The machine is probably amplifying the user's imagination in some way, which is how she was able to control her experience of "baby at 16" rather than "teenager at 2". When Carolina used the machine for too long, it overwrote the constructed memory she had in her mind from the photographs with the false memory from the machine. So now her body is adapting to the adult baby memories. That's how I read it, at least.

^This was what I intended, more or less.

Maybe it didn't read the way I wanted it to, which is completely on me, but her spending the majority of her time in the cobbled together fantasy memory as an adult baby sleeping was what caused the problems she's experiencing now. I'm not a sleep scientist or any kind of medical doctor, but a Google search told me that while we sleep the brain works to process information and create memories, so, to me, her sleeping in that space with the super tweaked machine hooked up to her in the real world meant that her brain was creating memories and rewriting things based on where she was and what she was experiencing which obviously is not a great thing to have happen.

 

I am pleased as punch, do people still say stuff like that? that you guys are picking things up that I both did and didn't factor into the story, it's both really cool and embarrassing because I'm like "dang, how did I not think of that?!" but it's cool because this is how I do better/try not to disappoint people that are reading this with an expectation that things make sense and don't turn out with giant plot holes that leave you unsatisfied. I love talking about things I write with people for the exact reason that we've seen here, I'm not perfect by any means and having however many eyes and minds looking at things and discovering that something doesn't make sense helps me see my trouble spots with story telling. Also, this is a high risk concept in the sense that it can very easily be nonsensical garbage and I'm committed to avoiding that if at all possible. Thanks, guys, please feel free to keep the conversation going and debate with me or each other, just keep it friendly and we can have some fun and learn some stuff together.