*2 Year Update - My 24/7 Journey*

[Beccathelittle]

Thank you everyone for your kind comments  Glad others do enjoy reading an update even if there is not a whole lot going on in the month.

On 9/14/2023 at 9:57 PM, Davidevens87 said:

Would love to know what brand you wear/ recommend.  Thanks!

I've spoken about this in previous posts, and while every person has a different body shape & size, I have found that my two favorite brands are - Garywear active brief & Northshore trifecta.

Both are great depending on what you're wearing & have helped me keep in smells  No leaks to ever really speak of, but I dribble & have very tiny streams not a soaker type of person when it comes to wetting.

On 9/15/2023 at 11:07 AM, igel said:

l. Ever have such thought to get your input. I guess you have read thus manuals many times before you started your journey, so what have been your biggest surprises this far. (Poss and Neg). 

I will use this question in my next update to expand on  That's something I could talk about in more detail and gives me time to think more about it.  Thanks for the question.

[Hannah YMS]

Speaking as someone with their own thread on the untraining journey, I tried to keep bi-weekly or monthly updates, but in reality the changes are not fast enough or noticeable enough to chronicle on a calendar timed basis. In my opinion, share any updates when you feel like you've got something else to add. I too try not to flood my thread with updates of the same drip and dribble from before. I agree with a lot of people here, this is a really long game to play, so don't feel pressured to perform for the audience. Your thread is incredibly popular and will probably continue to garner interest.

Thanks for your contribution and updates!

[PuraVidaDip]

Thank you for sharing!

[abdlworld01]

Congratulations on the 2 years! I remember a year and a half ago you did a small trial in undies, which was very inconvenient. Maybe you could try wearing some again to celebrate what you've accomplished. It could help you become more comfortable with labeling yourself as incontinent if you don't manage to keep them dry

[Diaper Duck]

On 9/16/2023 at 2:00 PM, Hannah YMS said:

Speaking as someone with their own thread on the untraining journey, I tried to keep bi-weekly or monthly updates, but in reality the changes are not fast enough or noticeable enough to chronicle on a calendar timed basis. In my opinion, share any updates when you feel like you've got something else to add. I too try not to flood my thread with updates of the same drip and dribble from before. I agree with a lot of people here, this is a really long game to play, so don't feel pressured to perform for the audience. Your thread is incredibly popular and will probably continue to garner interest.

Thanks for your contribution and updates!

I felt like mine was not going anywhere, but you are right. I am only going to update when there is either progress or when I am adjusting and its been a month or something.

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD, how is everyone doing?

I took a small break from posting and wanted to give my next update to my padded 24/7 journey. 

Lets see, today would make it 2 years, 1 month, and 17 days since I started

Life definitely seems to be moving forward in the last 47 odd days since I last made an update.

I've had new life experiences & events, and work has been incredibly stressful with some new management changes.
This little bab has been working & studying for a new certificate I'd like to achieve. And honestly one of the reasons I've been slow to post was because I've been so focused on work projects & studying afterwards.

Less play time, more adult time . That being said, the one thing that definitely reminds me of my infantile decisions is definitely the constant wet & messy episodes on a daily basis.

I also was able to hang out with a wonderful guy I met on DD, and it was a very great experience Definitely had fun there!  Aside from being a little nervous at first, I feel we both had a great time! Will I do this with everyone? I doubt it, but it was a very fun experience. I'm just a bit nervous about always meeting random people and sharing a secret that the general world population would frown upon /not understand.

Alright, so lets go onto the diaper journey updates.

I'll be honest to say what really has changed if anything below, but I will say I've experienced some very sudden intense wetting episodes that definitely reminded me of this incontinence/diaper training. 

I'll explain below why I'm still using the diaper training instead of just incontinence.  Messing, has really not changed either since my last update.. 

Now lets me tell you about Becca's "feat of strength" , and the one day trail I committed to. 

After 2 years, 1 month, and 17 days I decided to purchase a very cheap panty pack while grocery shopping and see just what sort of control I had over everything down below.

On Sunday, I had a pretty free day and after cleaning out of a messy dip & showering in the morning I went for the "big girl" clothing to go about the day doing some chores around the house & cleaning.

I continued to drink water & some tea through the day, and made no changes to my normal routines with food/drinks. This was going to be my first time in a long time trying to see what's left of my potty training.

From the moment I slipped up my "big girl" undies &  the rest of my comfy clothes, I felt very very naked. 

It just felt plain weird and while my clothes certainly probably fit a bit better without my snug padding. Emotionally & Mentally I was pretty nervous and just felt like maybe this wasn't the right choice. Pushing those thoughts & feelings aside I continued on cleaning.

Did I experience immediate leaks & messy episodes for the day? Had I ruined my clothes & my newly purchased big girl undies? Had I ruined my chair or sofa by sitting down to eat?

well.....

This is where I want to still use the term "diaper training" from above.. For whatever reason, even after all this time my body definitely still remembered what "holding" it was. 

While I didn't count how many times I actually had to go, I'd say I REALLY like REALLY had to pee, about every 15 to 25 minutes. My body/brain definitely was warning me again. Something I've not consciously thought about in so very long, something so now automatic.. It was like I had never worn diapers, though it was also quite obvious I never ever had to constantly be near a potty to pee this much in my life. 

I had some leakage getting up off the potty as well that I certainly couldn't stop, so there is that, but it wasn't gigantic.

Messing, was also the same. I had the incredible urgency & sudden needing to go, but I was able to make it to the potty to well take care of it. 

I never pushed myself to hold it, and honestly the intense like "omg I have to pee right now!!" I'm pretty sure if I did try to hold it any longer I would of leaked. 

For the entire day, I spent hovering near the potty & having to go constantly. Relaxing, was no fun either, because I'd be sitting there constantly worrying I'd leak somehow.  When it was closer to about 6pm I went for a bath. My first big girl undies in 2 years were stained yes, but it wasn't as bad as I believed it would be. 

After my bath, back to diapers I went, and like a light switch, my brain/body went right back to endlessly letting go without a thought in the world. Woke up wet, The next morning / day it was back to uncontrolled wettings & immediate urges to mess / release.

This my friends is why I used the term "diaper training" above. As I'm not really sure at this point if I can call what I have genuine incontinence at all. More just i'm fully trained to use a diaper anytime I'm wearing one.

Mentally I feel way better, and relaxed/normal in one too! But I certainly didn't end up completely incontinent (yet). If it's even possible? I don't know? Maybe just more time? maybe I need to accept that this is incontinence but I'm acting like it's not? I'd definitely love to hear others opinions on this. 

For my own mental sake though, I for the life of me would not want to be glued to a potty every 20 to 30 minutes and I doubt if I was working in the office that would be acceptable either. 

But does that mean I could retrain? If so what would that look like? Where is the preverbal cliff that I thought I had gone off the edge? Why wasn't I constantly dripping/letting go without a thought or whim like I do in diapers?
How could I suddenly just "not" have any mindless incontinence episodes like I normally do daily? And why did my normal "incontinence" resume as soon as I was padded again. 

That's why I feel it's "diaper training" rather than incontinence so far. But hey, what do I know? I'm just a silly gal who decided to commit to being padded again.

At least I had a really impressive feat of strength! I made it to the potty what felt like 30-40 times in a single day!  

So that's my journey so far Aside from that I'm just moving forward and studying for my new cert for work that I'm going for! Wish me luck! 

 ------------
Another reader had asked this question and I'd like to answer it. 

"so what have been your biggest surprises this far. (Poss and Neg). "

I guess I'll rephrase this as, "what are some pros and cons you have experienced going 24/7".
And you will see the Cons might be a little more than the Pros

Pros
Freedom to be myself
Happiness/Joy from being yourself. 
Mentally no longer focused on this desire I've had since little age.
Freedom from a toilet 😛 go figure.

Cons
Changing in public, it's not fun.
Messing in public & having to clean it up, it's not fun.
Not being able to wear some cuter clothing because a diaper would be obvious
Having to shop for clothing that will fully hide your dip/plastic pants.. I feel this is easier for guys then it is us ladies. 
Not being able to go anywhere without ample changes
Traveling for work, make sure you have a suit case just for changes
Planning days/nights and events with friends around having said changes.
Sudden messes right after you cleaned up and were just about to leave the house.
Sudden messes in the car, as you're driving to work / go see family / friends.. Yeah fun to deal with.
Forgetting how long you have been in a diaper before changing and finding your diaper is about to burst.
pinholes in diapers
Constantly having to keep yourself ultra clean so you don't have the scent of a bathroom Infront of others
Being around family who have kids in diapers, and smelling foul smells. Worrying that you had the accident when they begin checking their kiddos to see who it was.
Adjusting your diet to plan for going out to an event.. Would hate to have something greasy / junk food the night before and have horrid accidents out and about.. Way easier to clean when you eat clean .
Having to constantly make sure you have diapers always.
The cost of wearing diapers, and if you were to be in a position if you could not afford them, the pain of "retraining".
Trash / Cleaning of the home to make sure it stays "stink free". Especially if you have guests over. 
Cleaning up leaks.
 

[igel]

Glad to hear that this DL lifestyle hasn't totally occupied your life. It's just a spice in the everyday life that doesn't always taste so good, or rather should I say, not smelling so good.

 

11 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

Pros
Freedom to be myself
Happiness/Joy from being yourself. 
Mentally no longer focused on this desire I've had since little age.
Freedom from a toilet 😛 go figure.

It's common that someone's real problem is something else. For many obese persons who have gone thru a gastric bypass often ends up with other misuses than food, like alcohol. So I wondered, you have always felt (at least since your childhood) your life would be better and more complete if you wore diapers, do you now feel that there is something else that is missing in your life.

 

11 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

Sudden messes right after you cleaned up and were just about to leave the house.

Have you felt, I'm not going to deal with this now.

 

In general it sounds like many of the cons could be forseen,

 

11 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

Being around family who have kids in diapers, and smelling foul smells. Worrying that you had the accident when they begin checking their kiddos to see who it was.

Have you had moments at home like, what's that smell, I must have tooted, and after a while realizing it doesn't go away, knowing you might have had a BM.

 

It's good you are still so positive about your life alteration despite all the potential cons.

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Thanksgiving & Christmas Season! So close to new years  I figured I'd pop in an write an update since it's been a while.  Today would make it 2 years, 3 months, and 18 days since first starting the whole 24/7 diapered life that is now my normal reality.  

Holidays are a little stressful when you're diapered, especially as you truly start experiencing incontinence. Being around so many extended family members & friends it's hard to find opportune moments to change. Also you find yourself hoping the body doesn't decide to bless you at the worst/most inopportune moment to remind you about said incontinence.

Let's see, it's been exactly 50 days since I last made an update, so what's changed since then?

Near early December I had woken up to my alarm and started to get out of bed to get ready for my morning routine before starting work for the day. As I sat up however, I realized I had messed sometime in my sleep. Not trying to be graphic, but I was utterly shocked that sometime during the night my body had decided it was a good time to just let things happen. I don't recall waking up at all, and I couldn't think of anything that I had done differently the day before. 

So far it's only happened once, but I am noticing that I guess I feel a little looser back there then I used too. Messing hasn't really been an issue with diet but I definitely feel myself passing gas a lot more commonly. >.> I've been very used to just going when the need has hit, but even around others during the holidays I found myself not really moving away or having the time to do much more then stand for a moment and leave immediately to clean up after.  Does this mean there are more changes happening or has that small part of my brain stopped caring so much? I dunno.

Still in stealth-ninja bab mode in front of others, I highly suggest a good pair of plastic pants to anyone who goes down the same path. The last thing you'd want is for others to know immediately by their nose.  Thankfully nobody has yet to be the wiser.  I hope to keep it that way if I can.

As for Wetting changes, it's very hard to judge if anything has changed, I've been leaking urine for who knows how long now. It's pretty much the norm to find my diaper soaked and changing after. I definitely have to be very careful about getting out of a diaper and moving from the bathroom to the room after a bath or shower. I've dribbled down my thighs multiple times during random changes. It's hard to judge if anything else can even change.

When I do feel myself peeing, I have tried to stop it just to see if I could, and it's quite impossible to do much there to stop anything. Trying to remember exactly what to do is the hard part, then ordering my body to in the moment doesn't seem to do much. 

Anyway that's my update  I hope everyone has a Happy New Years! And if you are the person who makes goals for yourself, then I hope you keep them and are blessed in doing so!

 

[DaddyCool]

Always a pleasure reading your updates and seeing what it's like to undertake the journey to diaper dependency.

My wife is currently just under 12 months into wearing pull ups and diapers full time and it's always a concern around friends and family. We have the option of switching to more discrete padding when the need arises as she is not fully incontinent through the day. Night time is different and thick diapers or overnight pull ups are an absolute must.

Please keep providing your updates, they are a great insight.

Hope you also have a great New Year.

 

[diapereddaddy1922]

Congratulations, I started my full time journey close to 13 years ago. I couldn't see myself any other way. No matter how prepared you think i am i still get surprisedith the frequent leaks and unexpected Oops did that just happen. It just keeps the challenge alive and keeps everyday a new excitement.  I still am happy I made the choice 

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD! 

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the week! Today would be my 2nd year, 5th month, and 5th day of 24/7 diaper dependency! Close to halfway to my third year of the rest of my life padded! 

Since my last update I've had one experience that was very new, and the rest feels pretty same samey.  Sometime last month I started changing in the bathroom after drying first the shower. I'm definitely become a very dribbly faucet and it's a lot easier then having to wipe up the floor along the hallway after getting cleaned up. 

A few weeks ago I treated myself to getting a balayage, and the 6ish hours for coloring were only possible thanks to Northshore. By the time I finally was able to leave and getting to my car I realized just how soaked my diaper was. Thankfully the plastic pants helped, but the diaper was to it's tipping point. I barely even drank anything while there 😕 But I'm just glad nothing messy related happened. 

~ Messy Warning ~

Sometime between the last update and this one, I had a single uncontrolled messy experience that left me a little stunned. More just that I didn't actually know what was happening until it was out of me. Got out of my chair and felt a plop. 😐 While cleaning up, I tried to think about what warning or feelings I had, and aside from being focused on work I for the life of me couldn't think of a single warning I usually at least feel something. This time, on the other hand it just was over before I felt anything at all. 

Messing is definitely becoming easier every day, sometimes I find myself needing to mess while I'm still nomming on lunch. I'd say the biggest changes are just how instinctual ? they feel? I'm find myself just helping things along and back to whatever it is I'm doing. I have very little though put into it now adays compared to when I first started so long ago. 

Having to change in public with friends is getting to be a nuisance, and while I still have not told them, It's getting harder to change / bring supplies in some situations. Honestly while I've done my best to keep it private, I do see the benefit in maybe telling my closest friends soon, though obviously not "hey i'm abdl xyz".. I just don't really know how to tell them without lying / having them become incredibly concerned. And I kinda enjoy keeping it a secret without being branded forever. 😶

Life is still moving forward  Still happily taking one day at a time, still getting out there and enjoying life. 
If you have any questions let me know, I hope everyone is well! 

[diaperuser]

What a nice update. Messing is getting easier.

[superabsorbantpolymer]

10 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

Hey DD! 

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the week! Today would be my 2nd year, 5th month, and 5th day of 24/7 diaper dependency! Close to halfway to my third year of the rest of my life padded! 

Since my last update I've had one experience that was very new, and the rest feels pretty same samey.  Sometime last month I started changing in the bathroom after drying first the shower. I'm definitely become a very dribbly faucet and it's a lot easier then having to wipe up the floor along the hallway after getting cleaned up. 

A few weeks ago I treated myself to getting a balayage, and the 6ish hours for coloring were only possible thanks to Northshore. By the time I finally was able to leave and getting to my car I realized just how soaked my diaper was. Thankfully the plastic pants helped, but the diaper was to it's tipping point. I barely even drank anything while there 😕 But I'm just glad nothing messy related happened. 

~ Messy Warning ~

Sometime between the last update and this one, I had a single uncontrolled messy experience that left me a little stunned. More just that I didn't actually know what was happening until it was out of me. Got out of my chair and felt a plop. 😐 While cleaning up, I tried to think about what warning or feelings I had, and aside from being focused on work I for the life of me couldn't think of a single warning I usually at least feel something. This time, on the other hand it just was over before I felt anything at all. 

Messing is definitely becoming easier every day, sometimes I find myself needing to mess while I'm still nomming on lunch. I'd say the biggest changes are just how instinctual ? they feel? I'm find myself just helping things along and back to whatever it is I'm doing. I have very little though put into it now adays compared to when I first started so long ago. 

Having to change in public with friends is getting to be a nuisance, and while I still have not told them, It's getting harder to change / bring supplies in some situations. Honestly while I've done my best to keep it private, I do see the benefit in maybe telling my closest friends soon, though obviously not "hey i'm abdl xyz".. I just don't really know how to tell them without lying / having them become incredibly concerned. And I kinda enjoy keeping it a secret without being branded forever. 😶

Life is still moving forward  Still happily taking one day at a time, still getting out there and enjoying life. 
If you have any questions let me know, I hope everyone is well! 

You have overactive bladder and IBS (symptomatically, you are peeing yourself 20+ times a day and experiencing sudden unloading of your bowels). Just because it's self induced doesn't makes it any less valid. The incident where poop just fell out with no warning is a prime example of why you need diapers now. Broaching the subject with friends is hard, but you can be honest about how your body functions (or doesn't) and how diapers work best to hygienically manage your issues. If they're good friends they'll accept it at that. Easier said than done of course. Do you think they've noticed any signs? Maybe it would be easier if subtly let them know, e.g. by leaving your diaper bag open or something, then explaining.

[DaddyCool]

Thanks for the update @Beccathelittle it's always interesting reading. You mention that changing out in public is becoming a nuisance, has this made you regret your decision or think about potty training again?

[Beccathelittle]

7 hours ago, superabsorbantpolymer said:

 Do you think they've noticed any signs? Maybe it would be easier if subtly let them know, e.g. by leaving your diaper bag open or something, then explaining.

I'm not sure on this one, there have been close calls a few times in the last 2 1/2 years, and while I've done my best to try and remain private, it could be possible somebody in my social circles knows. If they do, they have not said anything. 

It's definitely something I originally was like, eventually when I'm xyz, I might tell people.. Now that I'm getting closer or have achieved xyz I keep extending the goal line.  I just wish diapers were not socially stigmatized so much, it's just a fear that people would take it the wrong way, or feel i'm crazy for not wanting to rush into surgery to correct the issue sort of thing.

3 hours ago, DaddyCool said:

Thanks for the update @Beccathelittle it's always interesting reading. You mention that changing out in public is becoming a nuisance, has this made you regret your decision or think about potty training again?

It definitely is a nuisance at times, especially with others who do not know your secrets. Or when you're stuck in the office and needing to change etc. 

Do I regret my decisions or have I thought about re-potty training? No. 

I still love who I am, and I'm happy I've been able to come this far  Diapers are something I enjoy, I don't see that ever changing. If I had the opportunity to go back to pre 24/7 Becca days, I still would not change anything aside from starting sooner if I could.  

I'd rather document everything though, and my feelings on different subjects for readers who may consider this lifestyle for themselves. There are definitely pros & cons with everything.  

[igel]

18 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

I find myself needing to mess while I'm still nomming on lunch.

Is it like you feel full, and thinking why did a take that much on the plate. Then feeling things are moving. When your bowel is finished, you just feel, yes, still hungry.

 

Do you think it will be the norm for you to soil your diapers during the meals in the future, if you let a few months or years pass. Is that what your body wants? 

[DaddyCool]

41 minutes ago, Beccathelittle said:

It definitely is a nuisance at times, especially with others who do not know your secrets. Or when you're stuck in the office and needing to change etc. 

Do I regret my decisions or have I thought about re-potty training? No. 

I still love who I am, and I'm happy I've been able to come this far  Diapers are something I enjoy, I don't see that ever changing. If I had the opportunity to go back to pre 24/7 Becca days, I still would not change anything aside from starting sooner if I could.  

I'd rather document everything though, and my feelings on different subjects for readers who may consider this lifestyle for themselves. There are definitely pros & cons with everything.  

It's great that you are very comfortable with your decision even when there are times it is a nuisance.

We've found the same when my wife wears around others, it's not always easy to excuse yourself and change. Whilst she does not wear diapers 24/7 this past year it has been pull ups through the day and diapers at night but there are still times when even the pull up is not quite as discrete as we'd like.

I admire your courage and determination to get to your goal, it certainly appears you have reached it or are not far off.

[gettingthere]

On 2/21/2024 at 1:00 AM, Beccathelittle said:

I still love who I am, and I'm happy I've been able to come this far  Diapers are something I enjoy, I don't see that ever changing. If I had the opportunity to go back to pre 24/7 Becca days, I still would not change anything aside from starting sooner if I could.  

Hey! I’m new here, well kinda… have been lurking in the shadows for years 😆. 
Becca, reading your story has really been inspiring for me. I’m another female, who is in her early thirties.

For probably the better of 10 years I’ve toyed with the idea of going 24/7, but kept getting stuck when it came to leaving my house, coupled with the usual shame etc that everyone has had. Despite all of my breaks, the binge purge cycles, I still can’t shake wanting to transition to 24/7. I wore all through Covid, and I actually wear at home 90% of the time now, but get stage fright leaving my house. But I can feel it in my bones that I’m ready to make the change. 

Reading your thread here has helped me decide that I’m going to try and go the 24/7 route and just stick with it. I have a large collection of stuff anyway so I’m more than prepared and now I feel just a little less alone.

 

thank you so much for sharing!!! 

[superabsorbantpolymer]

Welcome, @gettingthere, I too am a many year lurker turned member. If anyone else is reading this, sign up! It's so great being able to contribute to the discussions. 

Regarding fear of leaving the house, I'm actually pretty jealous that girls get to wear dresses and skirts as they conceal diapers so well (nowadays obviously society is more open to men in dresses but I'm tall AF bearded and cis so itsgenerally not my vibe). 

Having female anatomy it should in theory be easier to disrupt your pelvic floor and continence, and wearing a pull up is far less taboo for women than men I feel. I say throw away your fear, diaper up and be confident 😊

[gettingthere]

Thanks @superabsorbantpolymer for the kind words! Yup I don’t know why I waited so long, but I’m glad that I was inspired by@Beccathelittle - no more hiding! 

[Beccathelittle]

Thank you for your kind comments, you're definitely not alone.

I never expected to inspire anyone, but just document my padded journey for anyone who was curious. It's humbling that I can help in some way.  

 

 

[oznl]

On 2/20/2024 at 5:33 AM, Beccathelittle said:

Hey DD! 

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the week! Today would be my 2nd year, 5th month, and 5th day of 24/7 diaper dependency! Close to halfway to my third year of the rest of my life padded! 

 

So congratulations on reaching your milestone!  You seem to be building yet another example of the case for the affirmative to the proposition that those who find themselves predisposed to stick at the "24/7" diaper lifestyle, never seem to want to leave it and that their only regret is that they didn't take the plunge sooner!

[PuraVidaDip]

On 2/19/2024 at 2:33 PM, Beccathelittle said:

Having to change in public with friends is getting to be a nuisance, and while I still have not told them, It's getting harder to change / bring supplies in some situations. Honestly while I've done my best to keep it private, I do see the benefit in maybe telling my closest friends soon, though obviously not "hey i'm abdl xyz".. I just don't really know how to tell them without lying / having them become incredibly concerned. And I kinda enjoy keeping it a secret without being branded forever. 😶

I feel the same way. I do but do t want to tell others. I feel like my friends know but I’m still too embarrassed to bring it up. The hiding it is getting tougher for me 2+ years in as well. 

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD!!

I hope everyone is having a super wonderful week, time keeps flying by and i'm excited for a relaxing weekend. Today would be my 2nd year 7th month, and 10th day or 953 days of being padded. Ever so closer to my third year!  

As the time continues ever forward, I find myself writing this after changing out of a very soaked dip having just come home from a fun day at the office for a few in person vendor meetings. This morning though was a bit less fun, having to change from a messy dip at work as quick as possible before the meetings started. 

While i'm thankful to be a 99% remote employee, it does not spare me from various onsite meetings or projects at offices / data centers but I'd rate myself a professional ninja diaper changer and glad to have private bathrooms when needed. Makes changing much much easier!

Life keeps moving forward and my body keeps changing little by little from what I can tell, even if it's subtle, it has added up to a life of constant leakiness and very sudden wetting/messing signals if at all. 

It's hard to really describe what has changed as things are subjective, but I do feel something internally has taken a hit when i'm leaking in between changes or laying down feeling my bottom growing warmer with no sense of needing to wet at all. 

Messing still is not at a state where I'd describe a complete loss of control. The warnings signs grow even shorter or more subtle/noticeable. Mentally I feel i've crossed a threshold where I'm feeling more on autopilot and dont give much thought to messing, there isn't a loud alarm or something trying to tell me HEY YOU'RE ABOUT TO POO! more just a very quiet subtle "oh I have to to go, so go." While my body is already relaxed and ready to let go. The warning is subtle, the feeling is becoming more automatic, and while I still feel I could stop it if truly wanted too, I've yet to actually test it. It's more just I have to put little effort into relaxing like I used to way back when i first started. Take this morning for instance, I found myself needing to mess after having just gotten out of the car at work. I found myself letting go and instead of heading to the office, instead heading to change first. 

I'm unsure what will happen in the future, but if this was as close to "incontinence" I could achieve without surgical intervention, I'm happy. I wish it wasn't an odd request to have scans or something performed, or just ways to see just how different my muscles have adapted / changed / weakened over time without going to a doctor or having something on my medical record. It just would be a neat to see for my own sake just to learn how much has changed without giving subjective writing. 

Anyway I hope everyone has a wonderful month ahead, and that you all have a great weekend. If you have any questions please let me know as I sometimes just don't know what to write. 

You're all loved ❤️ 

[diaperuser]

@Beccathelittle what a nice update as always. Have a great weekend! Treat yourself to something nice. Maybe a restaurant you normally don’t go to all the time.