*2 Year Update - My 24/7 Journey*

[diaperuser]

@Beccathelittle thank you for sharing this update. Making great progress. Treat yourself to something nice for one year in diapers. Have a good week.

 

 

 

 

[Stone]

@Beccathelittle, this was a nice read. Can’t wait to hear the anniversary update. 
 

If it’s not too personal - how did the hypnosis stuff and your custom file go? Any benefit now looking back?

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD!

12 months!!  My one year Anniversary in the joy of padded silliness that has been my life. 

Hope everyone is doing well, been a busyish month with me, a lot of driving, and a lot of tiredness.

I won't go into terribly too much detail, but sadly I was robbed this month ? Quite a few expensive things stolen from my own home which made for not only a stressful week dealing with police, but also this month of spending the last month working a second job delivery driving on the side to make some extra $$ and trying to replace what was taken.

It's why this month I was a bit late on updating everyone, but thankfully I'm alive and well if not just pretty tired.

-

So has anything new or exciting really changed since last months update? Honestly not really, more just the same.  It's really difficult to tell or judge what's happening down below but I for sure know that a year ago I struggled to do what comes easier than breathing now.  It's honestly amazing just how much can change in a year!

Wetting is genuinely very very easy, I don't have to think about it, most of the time I've already done it. On the rare occasion I feel a need it's barely anything. Sometimes I've found myself in a rather soaked nappy and have zero recollection on when I actually went int he first place.  To me that's the crazy part, just honestly amazed at how oblivious I feel i've become. A year of not paying attention and sitting in a thick nappy probably helped get there. But a lot of the time i'm soaked and just unaware or used to it.

--

Messing stuffs really not much change, other than lately every time I've felt the need to go I've found myself already pushing in a way. Like my body was ready before it caught up to me. Though I'm still fully aware I'm about to or need to go. Just more the feeling/need is very urgent and only happens really right before the moments.

I've spent this entire year going as soon as the need struck, and it seems to be doing something. Compared to when I first started it's night and day.  Has it happened where I'm totally unaware? No, but is that even possible? Who knows will find out.

--

For my mental state, this year has not been taxing at all, if anything I've enjoyed this year more than the last few. For me going back to 24/7 has gave me an inner peace in a way and helped me to stop focusing so much on diapers in the first place. It's been wonderful for the times I love being in little space, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  I'm quite happy where I am and what I've done / slowly more becoming. Whether that's just somebody who is diaper trained or one day incontinent I don't know. I'm genuinely just happy   

Now if somebody could stop thieves from being thieves that would make an even better year...

 

On 9/13/2022 at 2:44 PM, Stone said:

@Beccathelittle, this was a nice read. Can’t wait to hear the anniversary update. 
 

If it’s not too personal - how did the hypnosis stuff and your custom file go? Any benefit now looking back?

Honestly the custom files I created helped me have more peace with being out and about while padded. I had wanted something to help re-train the brain mental wise and not be so worried or stressed about the what ifs. Did it help? Yeah a bit, but I have the believe that hypnosis will only really do what you wanted in the first place. I don't feel it's a magic pill that will make you do xyz, but maybe I'm wrong.   It definitely helped me with my mental space of being more positive & less worried around wearing / using diapers in public though along with my normal life and just going out and about padded.

 

Hope that helps, I wish you all the best month ahead. Please send prayers I get some rest soon  I'm tired.

 

[phillyabdl]

On 9/19/2022 at 3:01 PM, Beccathelittle said:

Hey DD!

12 months!!  My one year Anniversary in the joy of padded silliness that has been my life. 

Hope everyone is doing well, been a busyish month with me, a lot of driving, and a lot of tiredness.

I won't go into terribly too much detail, but sadly I was robbed this month ? Quite a few expensive things stolen from my own home which made for not only a stressful week dealing with police, but also this month of spending the last month working a second job delivery driving on the side to make some extra $$ and trying to replace what was taken.

It's why this month I was a bit late on updating everyone, but thankfully I'm alive and well if not just pretty tired.

 

That's horrible! Sorry you had to go through that ordeal, but hopefully nothing irreplaceable was taken. Also, congrats on making it one year!

[Beccathelittle]

Heya DD,

Still here and doing pretty well  Hope you are all doing as well too!

It was a busyish month for me this time around, and to try to recoup the loss of things that were stolen I ended up getting a second job for about a month doing some delivery driving on the side. Extra income and helped me buy some new toys and kept me moving along instead of moping about what happened in the first place.

Life can be unexpected that way I guess, and I don't ever want to work two jobs at once again  I definitely can feel for those who have too, but I didn't enjoy it all too much. Diapers made that also kinda weird having to work around changes and sitting in a car for far too long. 

I did have a very embarrassing moment earlier this month, and another that that was more of a shock. I suppose I'll tell you all about both for my update this month. 

Lets start with the first one.

If anyone does consider going down the path of wearing 24/7 and doing both #1s and #2s there will be experiences that keep you up at night reflecting as you try to fall asleep. This is my first that I still replay in my head on repeat, and one that I can't seem to live down.

Without specific detail to try and protect my anonymity just incase ? , I was in a small office room environment sitting down talking with two others and about ten or so minutes into chatting the worst urge came that I needed to poop right then and there. I could feel my body wanting to push, I could feel the need, and I could also feel that it needed to happen right now. I'd have given anything to have been at home in that moment. I did not want to go right then and there, I did not want to mess in front of them, or give the impression that I was about to mess myself in anyway. I stood up to say excuse me I'll be right back & apologized while walking towards the door. I just wanted to be out of sight, to quickly change and be back to finish the meeting but I for the life of me could not hold it. Halfway through stepping through the door I started to feel myself pushing & something coming out. I made it out the door, closed it, and felt a tiny amount of mush then stood behind the closed door. It was during this moment my brain then decided to remind me that my extra dips & wipes were in in my bag next to my chair I had just gotten up from.  

Do you know how embarrassing that is? How scary that is? How much I wanted to just run out and hide? Well that's how I felt, and how I could also feel needing to keep messing. I ended up standing there behind the closed door finishing messing, debating what to do and ashamedly walked back into the room to say sorry I forgot my bag, I'll be right back.

Twenty minutes later a very timid Becca walks back into the room to apologize again, give little reason because her brain is dumb and couldn't come up with a great excuse because she is literally dying internally out of sheer embarrassment of the situation.  

Neither of the other two have ever brought it up, neither has made any comment. But it literally haunts me at night on repeat.. Did they know? Do they think I'm weird? Did they smell anything from the brief moment I stepped back in and back out? Did I look different? What sort of excuse can I give if they ask about it? What do I say? What do I do?  

I've lost sleep over this.. And I'm still embarrassed about it. 

A few mornings ago, my other new experience was waking up to pushing and soiling myself as I was rolling on my side and standing up. If it was the pushing or the tummy feelings that woke me up I'm not sure, but it was a shock to my brain and has left me questioning what sort of control have I have given away.

---

So yeah, 13th month? Embarrassment month for me  .  I'm worried a bit more than ever about messing stuff, and when and where the urges will hit. It's something I'm now even more scared about and if I'm being truthful didn't expect as much? Like wetting has been auto pilot and really easy to have no fear over. It's manageable and easy to hide in front of others.

Messing not so much.   I've been eating cleanly, yummy fruits & fiber, and I take chlorophyll tablets daily to help with smell. (aside from making poop green, the smell is still pretty noticeable if just a bit different).  I keep myself very clean, always use a barrier cream, but now I'm worried like what if I smell to others and can't tell?  What if I'm in a situation where I can't change and mess? What if what if what if...  Just lotsa new worries I thought I was OK with now I'm just focusing too much on again.  

Anyway sorry if the last part is a bit of a downer, it's more just what's on my thoughts this month. Really just feeling nervous and worried having to deal with these newer changes. I also wish I could get this memory of repeat in my head right before I go to bed some nights.. 

Am I stopping? Not at all, but I do need to learn how to manage this and to be OK with the fact that it wont be the last time something embarrassing happens.  

 

 

[Kif]

*hugs*

That's something I've been fearing, myself. I don't have much to offer besides hugs, and how I've reacted personally.

I realized my control fails at 5 minutes a few weeks ago, and while it came as a shock it...hasn't fully hit. But last week, I had a catastrophic wetting leaking accident outside the house. I'd just gotten off my bike and it came out...but the padding was scrunched up or something and it all spilled outside my diaper. And while fortunately nobody was around right then, it felt incredibly mortifying -- for days after, I couldn't help wondering if people happened to be looking outside their windows, seen what happened, connected the dots between person that they saw wet themselves and person that takes out bags of trash every other day. I couldn't help feeling terrified at the thought that could have happened at the grocery store, or a restaurant, or while visiting a friend.

So ever since then...whereas before I might have been more lax with my diapering and gone out without anything besides the diaper, now I never leave the house in anything less than lined plastic pants over top. And, I'm much more dilligent about sticking to my changing schedule. And finally, I wonder when (no-longer if) my version of your events will happen...while I'm super regular in the mornings for now, I expect that at some point something will upset my tummy, my diet will change, something and I'll have an accident while out in possibly the worst circumstances. 

Hell, I've thought of CAP too. I actually might bring enema etc supplies in an attempt to clean out in the hotel room in the mornings, but on the other hand changing bowel habits would make things more unpredictable in other ways due to dehydration etc...could shift to evenings instead of mornings, or even after lunch. It's like...all you can do is prepare for it and try to handle it with grace?

So yeah...hits different when it actually happens, I guess? 

But all that said...still no plans of stopping (though, not sure if I could for messing control...a few weeks of retraining and I've only got an extra few minutes warning to show for it). And as mortifying as that experience was, it was only the first in what...nearly a year? There's so many other mental/emotional benefits that outweigh it for me, still.

But regardless,

*hugs*

[igel]

On 10/21/2022 at 5:48 AM, Beccathelittle said:

Did they know?

Honestly, think about it from their perspective, you left the room in a hurry, it could have been for any reason. It could have been that you were about to sneeze loudly. You were in a tiny room with two others, still not out of the pandemic, of course you excuse yourself.

  You returned and got your bag, obviously it couldn't have been to bad, would she return if she had shit running down her legs. And after a twenty minutes you returned dressed like you were when leaving. 

  You feel like you are about to sneeze loudly, manage to get out of the room, at least they didn't here a thing. Then you return and pic you bag. Maybe she thought she leaked a little (urine), while she sneezed, they might think. Then return again in the same cloths a 20 minutes later, like nothing had happened. You excused profoundly for your tardiness. I guess they didn't think it was as severe as it was. 

 

Hopefully you have learned some from this incident, where to store supply, how to handle it. Practice gives perfection. Not to scare you, but a good thing could be to make a list of the situations you are in every day, and then answer how you would deal with a load in your pants in thus situations. That could give a useful insight in where you have to improve in you everyday life. 

 

On 10/21/2022 at 5:48 AM, Beccathelittle said:

Do they think I'm weird?

Probably not as long as it it a one timer. But it can of corse be seen different if this is a weekly thing. The more often it happens, the more you have to take it like an everyday event that blends into the office life.

 

I followed your posts and see that you have come far in your journey to a happier life. When you no longer have to use your mental capacity for such a routine task as executing your bodily functions, which easily can be dealt by your body itself, More effort has to be taken to hide the fact that your body is expelling your waste products, a process that isn't always silent and odorless. As long as you keep calm a lot is won. Maybe you should look into investing in some plastic pants. 

  Wear them some day off work and see how long it takes before you can smell a BM. If it takes hours for yourself to notice it when knowing what has happened, it at least gives you a time to excuse yourself from a meeting without panicking. If you have a friend you trust who knows about your "habits", it can be a great help to let them tell you when they notice an odor, so you will know when a smell i smelly enough for others to notice.

 

 

[Beccathelittle]

On 10/21/2022 at 12:40 AM, Kif said:

There's so many other mental/emotional benefits that outweigh it for me, still.

Appreciate your encouragement & input, this part is still how I feel even if it's still a little mortifying. 

 

 

[PlstkBakdnghtnday]

Could have said lady problems I wasn't ready for. Guys have no idea.

[Beccathelittle]

Heya DD!

14 months & 5 days! still going strong I started this journey on 9/9/2021, and it's been a heck of a year+ for me.

Some good, some bad, such is life really. Now we're getting closer to Turkey Day for us Americans and Christmas so I'll be around family & loved ones even more. Wondering how that will go with changes and such, but I'm prepped with changes and not looking to make the mistake of forgetting them at an inopportune moment!

I want to start this entry more with more just about my mental space over the last two months and where I am today. In my last update I had mentioned the mortified feelings and worry/fear I had experienced. It wasn't fun, but it was something I had to personally meditate on and for me pray about a bit. I actually made a list of more just self affirmations if you will which I kinda kept really just repeating to myself over the last 30 days every time I started the day, or was putting on makeup and heading out etc.

Really something clicked in me in the two or three weeks where I stopped seeing myself in a bad light. I guess in my head, even after over a year+ in diapers, I was still seeing myself as a person who is trying to make herself incontinent instead of a person who is incontinent. Funny really if you consider all my progress, and the actual stuff that has been happening down below. But in my weird self-image I felt like I was still being dishonest to myself or others. I didn't start out incontinent, am I really able to call myself that or just a diaper trained woman etc.  Does it matter? etc etc.

Anyway I came to peace of mind really, I can call myself what I am, incontinent. I don't feel it's dishonest, it doesn't matter what caused or created it. I embraced who I am and happy to call myself just that. I'm an incontinent woman. No more feeling like it's temporary, or a lie, or in my head just pretending to others. It's who I am and I accept it. I claimed it and own it. ? I came to grip with reality & stopped fearing the fantasy fears & what ifs about others or how they would see me. I stopped fearing my imagination in hypothetical situations that were in the last two months something that I was worried over. What if I messed in this way? What if it happened here? What will they say or do etc etc...

It's something I finally overcame :).

I say all that to say, it's really funny just how carried away we can get in our own worries & fears, but for me it was something that I thought I had conquered and now truly believe I have. 

---------

Ok ok... onto the changes!

Wetting

Well truthfully, not much has happened when it comes to wetting. I've sincerely stopped paying any attention to what happens below. It's automatic, it happens, and sometimes incredibly rarely I feel the need and have to really really focus to let anything happen. That's like one out of every thousands of constant dribbles. Why it happens I could not tell you, but it does.

Short and sweet, I wish I had paragraphs I could write, but I truly don't pay attention to that side of things. Aside from feeling dribbles, and warmth it's pretty basic. Comforting for me in the weird way most of us find it.

I will say this though, I have found myself in many overly soaked diapers and realized I should have changed a while ago. Like I'll be working at my computer, come lunch time I'm getting up to go make something or making some tea and find myself in a very wet diaper and realizing I need to change.  It's more just I'm now realizing I should probably start setting times to change rather then waiting for a leak.

Messing?

Still more of the same really, the window is short, I feel the need and let it happen. Often I find myself already pushing, like I don't have to tell my brain it's something I need to do. Sometimes when I'm bending or standing or moving around I can feel something down there pushing when I didn't tell myself to. I've had two times spread out over the last few weeks where I realized I was about to mess as I was bending over and it happened pretty suddenly. I still feel a gut feeling or warning when it's about to happen, it's just a very short window. A minute or so later and the warning is over and I need to change.

-------

That's all I can think to say this time around, but I'm still here, healthy, and happy.

One random thing I can also add is that I had to go to my doctor for a yearly checkup to qualify at work for a medical discount for the year. I did not want to have my healthcare rates raise at work so I opted to go in a thinner diaper.  I was able to get away without telling the doctor or them noticing this time. But I'm wondering if/when I should tell them. How does that process go? What do I even say? Maybe I'll wait another year. Who knows..

Anyway that's my post for this month! I hope everyone who celebrates Turkey Day has a wonderful time with friends & loved ones. To those that don't have anyone to celebrate with, I hope I can be there in spirit at least to cheer you on May you all have a wonderful month!

If you have any questions I'll try to respond Sorry for the rambliness of these posts, and any misspellings that may be above.

[diaperuser]

What a nice update. 

[Kif]

4 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

Anyway I came to peace of mind really, I can call myself what I am, incontinent. I don't feel it's dishonest, it doesn't matter what caused or created it. I embraced who I am and happy to call myself just that. I'm an incontinent woman. No more feeling like it's temporary, or a lie, or in my head just pretending to others. It's who I am and I accept it. I claimed it and own it. ? I came to grip with reality & stopped fearing the fantasy fears & what ifs about others or how they would see me. I stopped fearing my imagination in hypothetical situations that were in the last two months something that I was worried over. What if I messed in this way? What if it happened here? What will they say or do etc etc...

Can you possibly elaborate more on this, if you're comfortable with it? 

I've been struggling with this lately as I've realized my control has plummeted, and a lot of the feelings you wrote about resonated with me. 

I suspect simply reaffirming yourself everyday is what would do it...

But anyway, if you aren't comfortable discussing here could I DM you about it?

Either way, congrats on 14 months! Really glad to hear you are happy

4 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

It's more just I'm now realizing I should probably start setting times to change rather then waiting for a leak.

Pretty-much mirrors my experiences too. Just like the first time, and just like again recently, I could tell when I'd crossed that threshold by when I started leaking frequently. I guess the body just stops caring about leaking etc so doesn't hold back that extra pee anymore?

4 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

A minute or so later and the warning is over and I need to change.

This is quite a bit past where I was, but I can easily imagine it. I'm curious, have you ever tried to stop it? What did that feel like? I wrote about this ofc, and for me it felt like my muscles giving out rather than a lapse in paying attention; getting from 3-5 minutes to 8-9 over a few weeks (one minute overload with rest days) was really friggin hard the whole way. So as far as my experiences were concerned, once that timer starts it's inevitable.

Though with warning like that, I imagine this starts slipping into "lapse of attention" territory soon if not already?

[Beccathelittle]

8 hours ago, Kif said:

Can you possibly elaborate more on this, if you're comfortable with it? 

I've been struggling with this lately as I've realized my control has plummeted, and a lot of the feelings you wrote about resonated with me. 

I suspect simply reaffirming yourself everyday is what would do it...

But anyway, if you aren't comfortable discussing here could I DM you about it?

Either way, congrats on 14 months! Really glad to hear you are happy

Pretty-much mirrors my experiences too. Just like the first time, and just like again recently, I could tell when I'd crossed that threshold by when I started leaking frequently. I guess the body just stops caring about leaking etc so doesn't hold back that extra pee anymore?

This is quite a bit past where I was, but I can easily imagine it. I'm curious, have you ever tried to stop it? What did that feel like? I wrote about this ofc, and for me it felt like my muscles giving out rather than a lapse in paying attention; getting from 3-5 minutes to 8-9 over a few weeks (one minute overload with rest days) was really friggin hard the whole way. So as far as my experiences were concerned, once that timer starts it's inevitable.

Though with warning like that, I imagine this starts slipping into "lapse of attention" territory soon if not already?

Self affirmations really do help! I'd be happy to talk more in DM's if you have any questions
 

As for the messing question in have I tried to stop it, the only recent example where I physically tried to stop it if but briefly was what started the whole spiral in the first place in a way. I was sitting in the office, immediate need and trying to make it out the door before I messed myself in front of others. I tried to hold it in, it still came out in the end. Maybe helped a little to make it part way through the door?  

14 months of letting go immediately have not been kind to whatever happens down there, and It didn't help much. It's also hard for me to concentrate down there in a way because I'm not used to it. I'm just used to letting things happen and not fighting it. And I can tell from how I feel down below often when I'm in weird positions or about to mess it's like my body is already pushing in a way. Or when I stand up after sitting for a bit and feel a small toot etc. 

New learned habit becomes normal habit.

[Kif]

Awesome, thank you! I'd love to chat in DMs.

You're right, there was that instance in the office ?! I feel silly asking now haha, but absolutely that would have been a turning point. 

And yeah, can relate to struggling to concentrate down there too now that you mention it! It has improved a tiny bit with me *having* to exercise whatever control I have left, but whatever I do have feels...dampened, for lack of a better pun. Like I'm aware things happen but I've forgotten exactly what muscles to coordinate, or it happens with such suddenness or intensity I don't have the time to react.

[~Brian~]

4 hours ago, Beccathelittle said:

As for the messing question in have I tried to stop it, the only recent example where I physically tried to stop it if but briefly was what started the whole spiral in the first place in a way. I was sitting in the office, immediate need and trying to make it out the door before I messed myself in front of others. I tried to hold it in, it still came out in the end. Maybe helped a little to make it part way through the door?  

14 months of letting go immediately have not been kind to whatever happens down there, and It didn't help much. It's also hard for me to concentrate down there in a way because I'm not used to it. I'm just used to letting things happen and not fighting it. And I can tell from how I feel down below often when I'm in weird positions or about to mess it's like my body is already pushing in a way. Or when I stand up after sitting for a bit and feel a small toot etc. 

New learned habit becomes normal habit.

@Beccathelittle@Kif

one of the things that I have learned over the years is that you don't really really Have too much choice about some things. your body wants to get rid of whatever it's holding for whatever reason, and your body is going to get rid of whatever it's holding if it doesn't want to anymore.

Because I have been incontinent most of my life on and off, there have been times when I have been really really lucky, and that I've been able to get to the toilet fast enough, while in many other Circumstances, I can't get there fast enough: when that happens, it kinda sucks, but knowing that most of my life I've been having issues like this, it only cements the reasoning for wearing diapers 24/7 in my mind. It is not uncommon for guys my age to be dealing with this type of situation, and I figure I might as well take it as a sign that if I can handle this very carefully and be able to deal with it effectively, wearing diapers is not going to be too much of a problem, because it helps me deal with that situation as well as anxiety Depression and other things.

Once your body learns to immediately eliminate what it is what it is holding, that is a hard thing To undo. remember, when you wanna to untrain, you had to undo your potty training, which, which is a process by which you start day and then you work up to the fact that you end up getting to where you want to be. Now that I am in diapers 24/7, it doesn't bother me as much, but I still am careful in certain situations because I really don't want to have a humongous mess on my hands, but at least if I have a diaper on it is something I can deal with.

It is also hard sometimes to be able to concentrate when you are dealing with your body telling you it has to use the bathroom! I don't care how old you are, and I don't care whether you're a guy or a girl, but every once in awhile that will happen, and it will be something that will just happen in seconds: there won't be any warning other than maybe a two second, and then the next thing you know you've already done the deed, before you can even figure out that you get up and walk across the room! how'd that happen A lot of times in 2018 and 2019, and that is why I decided to go with diapers: it is a lot easier to be able to release and then change rather than to worry about making a mess Because you can't get to the toilet on time period at least if you have your diaper on, it will hold whatever you need it to until you're able to change.

@Beccathelittle  Don't feel bad if you if you for some reason cannot hold it! remember you are in a situation where you're wearing diapers, and most times if you are releasing both ways, that means that your body has learned that it doesn't need to hold any more! i've had it happen to me many times: the last time that it happened to me it was this summer, after eating something greasy: after returning to my office karma I just barely had enough time to go in and set my bag on my desk, and the next thing I know bathroom for 20 minutes, performing a change: sometimes you can't help it, and most times it is a pain in the neck to deal with, but I'd rather have the diaper than not have it at all! when you learn to release everything you're holding immediately, the chances of you being able to Relearn Continence it's going to be harder: the reason why I told my doctor I was going 24/7 and 2020, is because it made sense to me, and I wasn't going to be losing sleep and not getting enough of it when I needed it.

This is why I always say that it is always a good idea to have the best kind of diaper that you can have. Additionally, you should use the diaper that works best for you: some people like certain diapers, some people like other diapers, and they have their preferences whether they like the cloth or the plastic backed: I prefer to have the plastic backed, because I want the order control and I want to be able to use the use the thing all the way if that's what it needs to be: there's no reason to try to hold it back, or try to fight your body, because your body is going to win every single time!

I liken it to something like this: let's say you really wanna concentrate on something: you have something that distracts you, and then you forgot what you were doing, or you forgot where you were, or you are drawn to a situation where you cannot pay attention to what you need to pay attention to call it would be like somebody telling you " don't wet or mess yourself!"  and the next thing you know somebody is either tickling the heck out of you, or they end up giving you things that would cause you to have to worry if you are going to mess! you are not going to be able to win the battle if you are set up to lose! eventually, you will release it just a matter of time, and where you will release call: this is why it is always important to be ready in the event that you must change away from home.

The only problem that I had when I first started wearing diapers, was that I was afraid of what would happen when I did mess! I figured that someone was going to notice, or that something was going to happen: of course that day happened, during 2020, and I was easily able To go home after work and change period took me over an hour to make sure it was done right, but I did it OK. second time I was in a local drugstore, and I was trying so hard to hold it, when I realized that I don't need to hold it anymore, And I let it happen: it really isn't as bad as people make it out to be, you just have to be prepared to be able to deal with the aftermath:: sometimes you may release in places and in situations where it's not optimum but, as long as you're wearing a diaper, most times it is something that most people will not be worrying about.

I've also learned that when my body wants to release, you let it happen! trying to hold it back can be painful sometime Sometimes, in the best way to be able to eliminate the problem is to let it happen. Many times, when I release and I do a number I hold it so long that it feels like I'm releasing Hydrochloric acid or something, and it just burns and burns sometimes, or it feels like Niagara Falls just exploded in my diaper! i've learned from experience that you don't want to hold back if you really have to go, because that will make your body possibly hurt itself, or you might hurt your bladder if you're trying to hold it back and you can't hold it!

the reason why I like diapers so much is because of the fact that I don't have to try to hold it, and I don't have to worry if I can't! growing older, I realize that life is too short and if I worry about every little thing that can possibly happen, and I worry less about stuff that is not important, I find that my life is a lot easier to deal with, stress is a lot easier to deal with, and my anxiety is almost zero.

I would also be willing to discuss this via PM as well: because of my disability, and because of its neurological repercussions, there are times when my body Decides to do things that I might not want it to do. I believe in time, there will be times when I won't be able to control my either my bladder or my bowels, but if that happens it won't be a big deal, cause I'll know how to handle it.

Brian

[Beccathelittle]

15 Months 11 Days since I last decided to sit on a potty...

A little late to the journal entry this time around. I hope everybody is staying warm & enjoying some relaxation with family & friends for the holidays! And for those overseas where it's nice and warm, I hope you enjoy a cooler time too .

My Thanksgiving was pretty merry with family, and I had to do my best to make one change midway through. That proved a little more difficult as we had went to a family friends home to celebrate this year. Thankfully I was able to do so, but it definitely was slightly a timid self experience. Wish I could of been closer to home to go change quickly.

Christmas is nearly on us and I've been busy trying to shop around for a few small but nice things for family members. So ready for the holidays to be over! ? Sometimes I feel like we have too many in a year.

Ok ok.. So onto the part everyone I guess actually comes for, that being new experiences & changes since I last gave an update!

My only one new experience was on the messier side of things so fair warning.

Messing - 

I had a humbling and new experience a few weeks ago now, that was waking up earlier than I normally do from a deep sleep to slowly realizing I was pushing down there. I ended up messing in my bed for the first time and so far the only time. Definitely put me in a different mood and woke me up, but I got out of bed and took a shower. Spent half the morning more just reflecting on the fact that for the first time in my life that's ever happened to me. 

I don't feel I changed anything about my diet or stuff, and for a long time have just been used to going a few times a day but never this early in the morning. It's the first time & so far the only time something like that has happened to me.

----

Mentally I just feel like I've slowly stepped over some small mound I was walking on with incontinence. Like I've been slowly inching to a goal that I've now crossed some newer threshold. I'm more just amazed that I'm finally seeing progress, but at the same time a little afraid of how or when it happens being more now outside of my thought or control that I was used to before.   It's also hard to write about new things when it's so common now that I have to remember to even talk about it in the first place. Like I'm just describing a newer shade of grey compared to the previous. 

 

Small blurb, may have typos. Wrote this when I had a quick minute to update.

 

Love ya all, if you have questions feel free to post below. 

 

 

[diaperuser]

@Beccathelittlewhat an experience for you. Thank you for sharing your updates. Have a good day! 

[Little Belle]

Thanks for the update @Beccathelittle it's always good to hear from you! Gosh that sounds like quite the experience! You have most definitely stepped through some kind of stage/barrier if that is happening!

I know what you mean about not having any other 'new news' to report. Like everything in life, the unusual becomes the normal after a certain length of time and wearing nappies 24/7 is really just like that for me too.

I think you and I went 24/7 about the same time but unlike you, I'm keen to maintain my bowel continence. In fact, I've had a lifelong problem with a weird combination of extremely leaky bladder and constipation and it seems that although nappies have made me finally lose control of my bladder, my constipation has not really changed - in fact it is probably a bit worse. I intend to talk to my continence nurse about it when I see them next month. 

Enjoy the holidays ?

[Unseendl]

@Beccathelittle Thank you so much for sharing your experience! I'm only occasionally on the DD forums now, and I'm just catching your last few months of updates, but it's captivated me enough to go back and read the rest. I'm currently working on just nighttime bedwetting, and this being my 3rd attempt, it seems to be a lot harder this time around for some reason. I know I haven't read through all of your updates yet, but any extra tips/tricks you've got would be fantastic to hear about!

6 hours ago, Little Belle said:

In fact, I've had a lifelong problem with a weird combination of extremely leaky bladder and constipation and it seems that although nappies have made me finally lose control of my bladder, my constipation has not really changed - in fact it is probably a bit worse. I intend to talk to my continence nurse about it when I see them next month. 

@Little Belle Despite years of reading and writing with folks about incontinence desires or even just in general about diapers, I've never actually come across another individual who's struggled with [lifelong] constipation. Would you be open to a few questions/discussion through DM?

[cathdiap]

On 12/20/2022 at 7:35 PM, Little Belle said:

my constipation has not really changed - in fact it is probably a bit worse.

You might want to try eating less fibre and more animal fat like butter. I know it sounds counterintuitive but it helps. 
 

 

[ChiGuy79]

Thanks for sharing! Merry Christmas and happy new year 

[Diaper Duck]

On 12/20/2022 at 10:57 AM, Beccathelittle said:

15 Months 11 Days since I last decided to sit on a potty...

A little late to the journal entry this time around. I hope everybody is staying warm & enjoying some relaxation with family & friends for the holidays! And for those overseas where it's nice and warm, I hope you enjoy a cooler time too .

My Thanksgiving was pretty merry with family, and I had to do my best to make one change midway through. That proved a little more difficult as we had went to a family friends home to celebrate this year. Thankfully I was able to do so, but it definitely was slightly a timid self experience. Wish I could of been closer to home to go change quickly.

Christmas is nearly on us and I've been busy trying to shop around for a few small but nice things for family members. So ready for the holidays to be over! ? Sometimes I feel like we have too many in a year.

Ok ok.. So onto the part everyone I guess actually comes for, that being new experiences & changes since I last gave an update!

My only one new experience was on the messier side of things so fair warning.

Messing - 

I had a humbling and new experience a few weeks ago now, that was waking up earlier than I normally do from a deep sleep to slowly realizing I was pushing down there. I ended up messing in my bed for the first time and so far the only time. Definitely put me in a different mood and woke me up, but I got out of bed and took a shower. Spent half the morning more just reflecting on the fact that for the first time in my life that's ever happened to me. 

I don't feel I changed anything about my diet or stuff, and for a long time have just been used to going a few times a day but never this early in the morning. It's the first time & so far the only time something like that has happened to me.

----

Mentally I just feel like I've slowly stepped over some small mound I was walking on with incontinence. Like I've been slowly inching to a goal that I've now crossed some newer threshold. I'm more just amazed that I'm finally seeing progress, but at the same time a little afraid of how or when it happens being more now outside of my thought or control that I was used to before.   It's also hard to write about new things when it's so common now that I have to remember to even talk about it in the first place. Like I'm just describing a newer shade of grey compared to the previous. 

 

Small blurb, may have typos. Wrote this when I had a quick minute to update.

 

Love ya all, if you have questions feel free to post below. 

 

 

Read all your updates, I want to do this once I get myself a place. I am always thinking about going 24/7 and losing control. I hope to join all of you on this journey in the future:) 

[Beccathelittle]

Hey DD!

Hope everyone is having a wonderful start to the new year! If you made any resolutions I wish you success in them. When it comes to resolutions I usually try to make easy ones to make a new habit. Mine this year was to keep up the exercise I started last year . 

Today would be lets see... 1 year, 4 months, 8 days (16 months & 8 days) of being 24/7! Nearly to a full two years. At this point I could never imagine being outside of a diaper other than for bathing. And another month & delivery of northshore to mark another never ending month of the padded life I walk. 

With Christmas & New Years celebrations with family out of the way I have a lot more free time to relax & finally have some little space times too ?.

I remember starting this blog as a way to share my feelings & progress with others, but also partly for myself just to feel a bit more courage in the fact that even though we're all in different parts of the world that we're not alone in this ab/dl thing. Gave me a little happiness and the encouragement others have given me through this time has been wonderful. So thank you!  New Year so lets see where it heads this time.

Looking back at where I started, the biggest sign that I've slowly dwindled away control down below is when I'm with others. This Christmas, and for new years I spent it with family, friends, and extended family. I attended a few parties, visited friends & siblings, and spent a few days away from home.

The fact that I still was wetting without thought, still having sudden needs to go/mess and letting it all happen, while riding in a vehicle, while at parties, while sleeping over... Yeah.. It's definitely changed a lot since I first started.

The hurdle and hard parts was properly packing supplies, carrying around extra cases, and changing & throwing it in the rubbish like a ninja and not being seen are all finally feeling like second nature. This is my normal life apparently, crazy how far it's come.  

A while back I started wearing plastic pants full time, something I normally never really did, just a disposable and out the door. Now adays I couldn't really imagine being without one. I never realized how well they keep certain odors trapped, and while close to others still unaware. I'm also thankful for them more now that if I'm not paying attention to how long it's been, I find i'm usually way more soaked then normal. I prefer cloth backed dips when not at home, and northsore are great quality but sometimes the back does soak through :c. Plastic pants are a life saver, use them if you ever plan to go 24/7 and get used to it!

I cannot really think of any other major changes, but the above was the most noticeable & as I reflected on it over the break the more I realized just how far i've come. 

I hope everyone has a great year ahead! ❤️ Becca

If you have questions to things I couldn't think of to write about let me know.
Regardless, I hope you all stay well. 

 

[diaperuser]

Thank you for a nice update.

[Little Belle]

Thanks for the update @Beccathelittle it's good to hear from you.

It's interesting what you say about plastic pants - I've been 24/7 for about as long as you (but not for #2) but have never worn them. I always wear cotton pants with a plastic liner straight over my nappy. They don't really do anything for leaks but they're great at keeping everything compressed and also quiet.

So my questions are:

1) what type/brand are you wearing?

2) aren't they really hot to wear?

3) do they contain pretty much all leaks? I have to say it would be great to not have to deal with wet trousers once in a while! 

4) do you wear a compression pant over the top of them?

Thanks in advance ?