The "R" word

[DailyDi]

It has been brough to my attention that people have been using the term "retard" to describe other members. Please not that this is considered a derogatory word and using it to insult members will result in punitive action.

We have many members with physical or mental disabilities, and they should not have to see that word, even when not directed at them.

Be Kind folks, Be Kind.

[~Brian~]

@DailyDi

Just  for your information, I do agree:  The word is derogatory, And I don’t like The word either. The only time I believe I have used this word is to describe a time back in the early 60s and 70s when words like this were used very commonly. I appreciate the fact that action would be taken if someone decides to use this word inappropriately.  As a kid I was always referred to as this word, when I was not this word. So I also do not like it either and I am glad that Mikey is going to take action if he finds that people are using it to insult members.

We used to always get called his name or word at school. I believe this is because of the fact that in the time that we grew up we were always be referred to as this word, and we would always be referred to as this word, even when we had differing disabilities that had nothing to do with down syndrome or any other mental disabilities.  As I said the only time I used this word is in context when telling a story during the times I grew up. There are more appropriate ways to describe a disability without using this very inappropriate word.  I believe this is one word that would automatically get someone punished in my house if used to much. I even believe that my father punished my brothers when they even referred to me as “handicapped man“ and let me tell you I don’t think my brothers were able to sit down for two weeks!

I am glad that there are more appropriate terms! There is no need to use this word at all, and that is why when I used it I would say “*ahem*”. Because this word has no place in common vernacular. There are more appropriate words to describe disabilities than this.

Thank you for dealing with this situation in a very professional manner!

Brian

[Little Cub Pants]

I 100% agree Mikey!☺️? It's already bad enough having to do with a physical or mental disability everyday, but having to see a word like that just reminds them of whatever they're going through.? Even if that's not the user's intention by using the word. Words are very powerful even if you don't realize it and we should always be very mindful about using them. Let's all try to be considerate of people's feelings. Let's all try to be the best family members we can be. We're an family and we have to stick together!☺️????❤️???❤️???????❤️??

[~Brian~]

@BabySpiderBoy

Well said my friend! They Say that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you, but they do, and people have to be careful how they say something to somebody and what they say to somebody. All my life I have been called really nasty names including the R word that Mikey is Talking about.  Let me be clear:   It is NOT the fault of individuals who have disabilities, that they have them.    It is the responsibility of anyone who is disabled in any way shape or form to try to live the life that they possibly can live to the best of their ability. It is also the responsibility of a disabled individual which I take very seriously, to teach others about my disability so that they understand what it is and how I deal with it. I figure in this way as well, that people understand what the disability is, so they are better prepared and also better educated so they understand what the disabled go through.

When people use words like that R word,  It is a very hurtful word and can bring back bad memories to those who have to put up with or had to put up with being referred to as this throughout their young lives. There are more appropriate words to describe a persons disability rather than this. My Grandmother Baker told me words that were worse than the R word, and I will not say that word here, but I will tell you that use of this word made me sick to my stomach. 

I am glad that we do not live in pre-1970s times anymore. These times were known for some of the most barbaric things that could happen that I remember being taught about in classes that I have to deal with people with disabilities. Some of the things they used to do back then were things that you would never do to a child today. In addition words that were used to describe children with disabilities back then, would NEVER be used to describe children with similar disabilities today. I understand that in The past things were different. They were different times indeed, and different medical procedures were the norm. However, nowadays there are better ways to help people that are disabled. They say words can hurt and yes they can – and there is no reason why words like that need to be used today, when you can use what they consider politically correct words today to describe a persons disability. For example if you’re referring to a person that has MR, this is known as down syndrome. MR is an abbreviation for the R word, and that would be an appropriate way to say That during the time that I was growing up. Now you hear someone say “physically challenged” or “mentally challenged.”

I do not know who came up with the words that are used to describe people with disabilities back in the 50s in the 60s in earlier. However, there is no way that I would use any of these older words to describe someone with a disability today. Medicine has come along way in the last 20 to 30 years as well as mental Health services, and because of the innovations in the systems that we used to use back in the day, more people that are disabled are able to function on a higher level than they did probably when I was a young child. It is also different because of the Times: you would not call the kid the R word anymore, because you can use politically correct Terminology that is not as disrespectful. If and when I see an individual that is older than I, and they use that word, I informed them that the proper way to say that word is mentally challenged.

I remember one day that someone used that type of word to describe the four of my friends. These individuals that I stopped and gave HELL to were laughing because of the way my friends were being punished. I informed them that the way these people learn may be a tad bit different than how they learn. They continue to laugh and cause trouble and make snide comment: so I went to the instructor of that class, who I have dealt with in the past and I told that instructor of this conduct that I felt was inappropriate. Not only did these gentlemen get pulled into the instructors classroom, not only did that group of individuals pay the price, but they had to serve several detentions because their conduct was so ridiculous. The instructor made those gentlemen join his students at the chalkboard doing what he called “stand up sit downs“ At the end of this ridiculousness, the individuals who picked on my friends got a quick wake up call to the fact that just because you’re disabled does not mean that you were unable to function, and got a quick lesson in how they function or how they learn. I am glad that they were people like me around to straighten these guys out because they needed a kick in the ass!

 At the end of this ridiculousness, the individuals who picked on my friends got a quick wake up call to the fact that just because you are disabled does not mean that you were unable to function, and got a quick lesson in how they function or how they learn. I am glad that they were people like me around to straighten these guys out because they needed a kick in the ass!

When I see someone picking on someone that has a disability, it makes me upset. Far too many times people think that people that are disabled can’t do what everybody else does. I am considered fortunate: I went to college for four years I went to high school for four years and I went through elementary school and had good friends to be able to help me all the way through. I have had plenty of individuals who have had my back throughout my life, and I have even tell others about other people with disabilities. Those that have posted here are correct: the R word has no business being used to describe anyone let alone people that have disabilities and they should use their heads when they decide to speak to others that may have disabilities. We may or may not know who has a disability and who does not. One thing that I learned is that there are people in the world who believe that “someone doesn’t look like“ they have a disability, so they may not “Belong“.  This is an erroneous assumption. Some people have a disability that is visible to the human eye, while others have disabilities that are not visible to the human eye – so you can’t make that Assumption! I have always been an advocate for those who are disabled or less fortunate and I will be the first one to come to the defense if and when necessary!

I was always taught that there are people in the world who may be less fortunate than you are, or they may be worse off than you are, but you are special in your own way. Everyone who is disabled has their specialties, things that make them the way they are, make them special, make them unique – everyone has their strengths and everyone has their weaknesses. Being disabled does not mean that you are that word – you are not that word: you are an individual that is disabled, and depending on the time that you were born this is what people used to use to describe disability and it is wrong.

As has been stated please be careful when you use words to describe people –. Being disabled does not classify you as the R word. Everyone who is disabled is special in their own way and has qualities that make them the type of person they are. Someone tells me all the time that I have a very big heart: I do – but I have to be careful sometimes because I wear my emotions on my sleeve. But you can bet your sweet bippy That the R word Is a word that I will not used to describe anyone with a disability because it is not right!

Brian

Edited September 9, 2021 by ~Brian~
General Edits

[kasarberang]

As a physically disabled person, personally, this word doesn't bother me when I see it in most places. I actually prefer it to many alternatives such as “Handicapable”, “Special” or “Differently abled”, however It's something I feel uncomfortable seeing here on DD which is considered by many, including myself, as a safe space. I'm very happy this change was made, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[spoonchicken]

I will do everything in my power to keep the R-word out of the Chat Room..... 

I am NOT a happy person these days, so don't test me 

[Little Cub Pants]

8 hours ago, kasarberang said:

As a physically disabled person, personally, this word doesn't bother me when I see it in most places. I actually prefer it to many alternatives such as “Handicapable”, “Special” or “Differently abled”, however It's something I feel uncomfortable seeing here on DD which is considered by many, including myself, as a safe space. I'm very happy this change was made, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

What's your disability, if you don't mind me asking??? I'm just curious.

[kasarberang]

1 hour ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

What's your disability, if you don't mind me asking??? I'm just curious.

The main conditions are called: "Congenital Sodium Diarrhea" and "Tufting Enteropathy"

 

I was born without a working digestive system, I need central line I.Vs to get the nutrients I need to stay alive. They run over a 12 hour period at night, when I was younger they ran for about 18 hours, but as I grew my body could handle more in less time.

The need for a central line I.V makes infections far more risky and deadly, since it goes right into the bloodstream, and unlike pick-lines you can't easily remove a central line I.V. I ran out of places for a line to go at the age of 2, my body has created a hard calcium structure around it, and they say they'd need to do open-heart just to get it out if something were to go wrong. Not to mention they'd have to do another minor surgery on top of that to put another one back in.

Since my digestive system doesn't work, I was never taught how to eat. So, I have a horrid gag reflex and even if my digestive system was to begin working again out of nowhere, I'd need to go through years of physical therapy.

I had 2 siblings who had the same disorder as me, both unfortunately died due to medical neglect. One because they sent her home and she literally died of starvation and the other one was only 2 years younger than me and she died of liver failure due to doctors giving us actively contaminated I.V fluids, that had lead in it from the factory. Only reason I survived is cause I was older and my body was able to fight it off just a little longer, until they finally got their shit together and figured out they were actively killing us. Which is why I have 0 trust in the medical industry or those who work in it.

 

Anyway, along with all that, I also have a few other conditions, like my eyes don't moisten themselves and because of that I need eyedrops to prevent me from going blind (lost my right eye because the doctors didn't communicate the importants of this when I was young). My specific issues are so rare they wrote an article about it and referred to it as the [my last name] syndrome in fact, the medical article is something you can actually find online, our names are censored (thank god) because HIPAA, but it's about me and my 2 siblings.

 

I could go on, but I think I said the gist of it without specifying my entire life story, and you can always look up the main 2 issues I listed earlier to find out more about it. "Tufting Enteropathy" is the main one of the 2.

 

[Little Cub Pants]

7 hours ago, kasarberang said:

The main conditions are called: "Congenital Sodium Diarrhea" and "Tufting Enteropathy"

 

I was born without a working digestive system, I need central line I.Vs to get the nutrients I need to stay alive. They run over a 12 hour period at night, when I was younger they ran for about 18 hours, but as I grew my body could handle more in less time.

The need for a central line I.V makes infections far more risky and deadly, since it goes right into the bloodstream, and unlike pick-lines you can't easily remove a central line I.V. I ran out of places for a line to go at the age of 2, my body has created a hard calcium structure around it, and they say they'd need to do open-heart just to get it out if something were to go wrong. Not to mention they'd have to do another minor surgery on top of that to put another one back in.

Since my digestive system doesn't work, I was never taught how to eat. So, I have a horrid gag reflex and even if my digestive system was to begin working again out of nowhere, I'd need to go through years of physical therapy.

I had 2 siblings who had the same disorder as me, both unfortunately died due to medical neglect. One because they sent her home and she literally died of starvation and the other one was only 2 years younger than me and she died of liver failure due to doctors giving us actively contaminated I.V fluids, that had lead in it from the factory. Only reason I survived is cause I was older and my body was able to fight it off just a little longer, until they finally got their shit together and figured out they were actively killing us. Which is why I have 0 trust in the medical industry or those who work in it.

 

Anyway, along with all that, I also have a few other conditions, like my eyes don't moisten themselves and because of that I need eyedrops to prevent me from going blind (lost my right eye because the doctors didn't communicate the importants of this when I was young). My specific issues are so rare they wrote an article about it and referred to it as the [my last name] syndrome in fact, the medical article is something you can actually find online, our names are censored (thank god) because HIPAA, but it's about me and my 2 siblings.

 

I could go on, but I think I said the gist of it without specifying my entire life story, and you can always look up the main 2 issues I listed earlier to find out more about it. "Tufting Enteropathy" is the main one of the 2.

 

Thank you for sharing your story! DAMN! you've been through a lot. I feel so sorry for you buddy.???? *BIG HUGS*?????❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ nobody should ever have to go through that. I'm also sorry you lost your 2 siblings.??? It always sucks to lose family, especially at an young age. *Gives you a kiss on the forehead!*? If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here buddy!??????❤️ *Gives you another BIG HUG*??????????❤️

[Cute_Kitten]

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