Check in: Share your progress!

[Enthusi]

For those who are actively seeking incontinence, or strongly thinking about it, how is it going?  
 

Share as much or as little as you’d like, including victories, frustrations, concerns, goals. It’s all fair game! 
 

For me…  I’ve been experiencing a lot of unexpected leaks over the last few months.   My guess is that as my bladder control worsens, I’m wetting smaller amounts more frequently and so it’s harder for me to remember or notice when I’m wet. (I’m always wet).  I can’t rely on my memory of wetting to predict when I’ll need a change like I’ve done for decades as a casual diaper wearer.  

As a result I am relying on external clues like the wetness indicator and the squishiness and making myself change at scheduled times even if I think I’m dry.  It’s all so exhilarating and terrifying in a way that’s hard to describe.  Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and it thrills me. But it’s definitely not for the faint of heart.  Maybe I’ll make a separate discussion dedicated to that. 
 

Looking forward to hearing from others!

[twentyfifth]

I started wearing on and off maybe 6 years ago now and full time during the day almost two years ago.  I didn't start wearing at night until recently,  about two months ago.  

I've noticed that I'm not really comfortable going out without a diaper anymore and it's been getting harder for me to tell how wet I am sometimes.  For instance,  we were sight seeing a couple weeks ago and I was driving. I jumped out at one point to look and realized my jeans were soaked!  I genuinely had no clue that I had leaked. Luckily it wasn't crowded and I hopped back in the van and changed.  

At the same time,  it feels like I've got more control than I thought I had a few months ago.  I find myself having to force my bladder to start and get uncomfortably full when sitting.  I sometimes have to stand and of course then it all comes flooding forth.  

No conclusive thoughts just some observations.

 

[XyXy]

I've been in diapers for around 15 years due to a sphincterotomy. Believe it or not, but I rarely wet the bed. My incontinence almost exclusively happens while awake. As soon as I open my eyes, my bladder goes into into overdrive. I have mixed feelings about being incontinent. On one hand, I love being diaper dependent. On the other hand, I get less and less sexual pleasure over time. And that makes being diaper dependent more of a chore and less of a pleasure. I never want to give up diapers, even if I somehow regained control, BUT, the special role diapers once had has waned.

[sparklezBear]

4 hours ago, XyXy said:

the special role diapers once had has waned.

Yes, I can see how this will most likely happen to me too. At the moment I see this at an intrinsic result of meeting my goal of urinary incontinence.

While in time I may find nappies to be less special, that doesn't change how profound the journey there will be, or how much I will cherish reaching the goal.

[Bel George]

I am not actively seeking incontinence (but I've been fantasizing about it).

However, I am very often alone in the office, and wearing a diaper.  I notice that I often spontaneously urinate during those days without thinking about it. It is not a conscious action. I usually notice it either during urination or just after.
If I had to try effectively to keep the diaper dry on such a day, I don't think I would succeed.

I have never had that happen when not wearing a diaper.

1 or 2 days a week, my colleague is in the office.  Those days I just wear a pullup.  Those days I never pee unexpectedly in the pullup.    On the contrary, if I still want to pee in the pullup towards the end of the working day, it even takes some effort.

It is rather exceptional that I also wear a diaper at home. My wife isn't much of a fan, you know. When my wife is present, I have trouble urinating, even with a diaper on, even when the urge is there.
Like when I'm at the urinal, and there's someone standing next to me. Can't get a drop out.

Conclusion: only when I'm alone, and I'm wearing a diaper, I seem to have an incontinence-like thing. And not at all in all other situations. You won't hear me complain.

 

 

 

[tin_o_nuts]

Ive been diapered whenever im not at work for almost a month now, i have a week off coming up soon where i plan to be diapered the whole time, and depending on how im feeling about it i might stick with it after the week off for a while

[Little Sherri]

I had recent development... not sure what it means, if anything, but here goes. Background - I have been 24/7 for just over 2 years.

 I was in a meeting this morning, and I really needed to go - the morning coffee had done it's work. A voice inside my head whispered "You have a diaper on, don't worry about it, what could be more natural...?" But then another, less seductive, more rational voice said "Do you have 30 minutes to deal with this? And your diaper has only been on for a couple of hours - is this going to be a four-diaper day?" I very rarely do anything other than #1 in a diaper. 

After much consideration, I elected to hold on until I could escape from the meeting and go to the washroom. This produced an interesting result, however: I find that when I really need to hold #2, sometimes, allowing #1 events to occur intermittently becomes more difficult, because relaxing in one area threatens relaxation in the other area as well. However, when I got up to go to the washroom, as I was walking, I spontaneously started wetting, just slightly - it wasn't a full-flow event, but, when I tried to clamp down on it, as an experiment, it did not completely stop. I've read that sometimes constipation can cause urge incontinence, or even bedwetting, in kids, because a full colon can put pressure on the bladder, although I never gave it much thought. But, I wonder if that was at play here. Uncontrolled daytime flow, however minor, is not a common event for me. I'd say what I typically have are frequent "half-controlled" wettings,  because they never start on their own (as far as I have been able to determine... spending one's days entirely in damp, good-quality disposables does reduce the fidelity of information coming from that area). However, once I open the gates, everything plays out on autopilot, I have close to no ability to stop a transfer, I have found myself, on occasion, still voiding lightly, minutes after I thought I was done. 

I don't think that this portends a slide towards "trained incontinence" that I'm not sure I want, but, it's another interesting mile marker on a journey into the unknown.

[oznl]

Roughly 2.5 years in.  I'm still fairly continent during the day if I need to be but there are some caveats.  I don't have much range, I can't hold on that long, and once I've started peeing, I am now unable to stop.  A deliberate pee takes ages because the flow rate is awful now and I also notice that a wetting incident tends to dissipate into dripping rather than definitively stop.  I'm certainly not comfortable out of nappies and for some activities, it's just overwhelmingly more practical for me to be in a nappy (eg: a long car drive).

Night is a different story.  I may well wet the bed unconsciously if I go to sleep without a nappy (yep, I tested this) so they are compulsory nightwear now.  It's not every night but every few nights it seems I will wet in my sleep.  This seems to be some kind of new learned habit rather than "incontinence".   My brain just seems to have gotten used to the idea that it's good to empty my bladder every couple of hours or so and waking up for that is now optional.

Again, not sure I specifically set out to make these things happen but clearly I'm not out on any metaphorical window ledges that they have occurred.

I'm just starting to wonder (in the last week or two) if I'm starting to notice "bladder spasms" some times during the day.  I'm still trying to work out what's going on down there.

[Enthusi]

On 6/25/2021 at 2:59 AM, oznl said:

Roughly 2.5 years in.  I'm still fairly continent during the day if I need to be but there are some caveats.  I don't have much range, I can't hold on that long, and once I've started peeing, I am now unable to stop.  A deliberate pee takes ages because the flow rate is awful now and I also notice that a wetting incident tends to dissipate into dripping rather than definitively stop.  I'm certainly not comfortable out of nappies and for some activities, it's just overwhelmingly more practical for me to be in a nappy (eg: a long car drive).

Night is a different story.  I may well wet the bed unconsciously if I go to sleep without a nappy (yep, I tested this) so they are compulsory nightwear now.  It's not every night but every few nights it seems I will wet in my sleep.  This seems to be some kind of new learned habit rather than "incontinence".   My brain just seems to have gotten used to the idea that it's good to empty my bladder every couple of hours or so and waking up for that is now optional.

Again, not sure I specifically set out to make these things happen but clearly I'm not out on any metaphorical window ledges that they have occurred.

I'm just starting to wonder (in the last week or two) if I'm starting to notice "bladder spasms" some times during the day.  I'm still trying to work out what's going on down there.

Well from the sounds of it you are WELL on your way.  I think that’s about exactly where I was about a 1-2 years ago.   If your experience is like mine, soon you’ll start to experience “unauthorized wettings” (my friend calls them “improper order of operations). It’s a weird sensation where your bladder relaxes at the same time or even a second before you realize you have to go.   
 

I know you aren’t actively seeking incontinence but it sounds like it’s not a bad thing.  A couple pieces of advice for you,  if I may… 

1. Don’t get discouraged if you have times where your bladder control seems to be improving, or you’ve stalled.   It happens to everyone I know who has unpotty trained.  Focus on the long game. 
 

2. One thing that helped me greatly was planning to spend the rest of my life in diapers.   I have no desire to re-potty train whatsoever and knowing that it’s a progressive irreversible process emboldened me. 
 

3. Similar to #2,  you may want to bite  the bullet and ask your primary doc to add incontinence to your medical record. I was terrified to bring it up but I’m glad I did. I told him it’s due to psychological reasons and i don’t need a referral, but I wanted it added to my chart so I don’t have to be worried about a doctor seeing me in a diaper down the road.  He did it and it was like a huge burden has been lifted. 
 

Good luck! 

[oznl]

11 hours ago, Enthusi said:

Well from the sounds of it you are WELL on your way. 

Yes, I think I noticed what may be some, err, "developments" over the weekend.  I plan to blog about these later in the week.

11 hours ago, Enthusi said:

3. Similar to #2,  you may want to bite  the bullet and ask your primary doc to add incontinence to your medical record. I was terrified to bring it up but I’m glad I did. I told him it’s due to psychological reasons and i don’t need a referral, but I wanted it added to my chart so I don’t have to be worried about a doctor seeing me in a diaper down the road.  He did it and it was like a huge burden has been lifted.

For some reason, I just SO do not want to do this...  My family GP finally retired earlier this year.  My new GP looks like he might be young enough to be a kid of mine and it would be an excruciatingly embarrassing conversation.

I suspect the broaching vector here might more likely be when I'm finally forced to update my beloved with the fact that she's now married to a bed wetter and she demands some kind of psychiatric intervention as the price of the relationship...

[toddwr250r]

I've been fully 24/7 for 2 and a half years now. I'm not sure if I could go without diapers now or not. I guess at the 5 year mark, I'll try a day without and see how long I can stay dry.

[dlnoir]

I’ve been wearing diapers 24/7 for some 24 years now, and I play around with catheters and stents for some 15 years, started out with catheters but no longer use them as I decided to go stent all the way. By now I use my stent almost 24/7 only take it out for cleaning or if at rare occasions something starts to irritate. Any progress? I think so, by now I live my live as if I was truly incontinent but I am not, and the design of the stent I use is tweaked to perfection for my personal use. That is why I love to read the about Ferix  and the progress he is making. A part of me is so jealous but I wish he will be able to fulfil his desire. If I take my stent out thing start to normalize within hours sometimes a little more. In the end, as long as I use my stent, wear a diaper I feel complete as it should be but any progress in obtaining true incontinence no success so far. I think I have to stick with my stent.

 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

1 hour ago, toddwr250r said:

 I guess at the 5 year mark, I'll try a day without and see how long I can stay dry.

I would suggest when you try that it’s a day off from work.

[Enthusi]

2 hours ago, DiaperboyEddie12 said:

I would suggest when you try that it’s a day off from work.

Or pack an extra change of clothes! ?

[Hannah YMS]

My progress has been slow. I've been actively untraining on and off for the last 10 years, seemingly making litte progress. I've been 18+/7 for that time, but 8 months ago I dove into 24/7.

In that time, my range has been slowly decreasing. I drink a lot of liquid every day so I near constantly feel the need to pee. My problem has been, unfortunately, that my bladder seems to get more shy over time. There are days where I stand to pee, relax as much as I can, and find that I have unreasonable difficulty in starting the flow. On the other hand, some days my bladder seems overactive, especially in the morning. This relationship I have with my bladder is confusing.

One thing is certain, I NEVER leave the house without a diaper on. One, I'm not big on public restrooms, but more importantly, my frequency is too high to constantly be in the need to always look for a restroom.

I manage pretty well with my daily diaper being Abena L4, changing between 2-4 times a day. I wear Garywear plastic pants as I push my diaper to it's limit and always leaking. My most common leak area lately has been over the front-top of my diaper due to the way that I fold the top of my diaper and plastic pants together thus creating a tight waist and my diaper pretty much stays in place regardless of activity level.

My goal is to get to the point where either I'm in constant drip and dribble mode with low volume (like @oznl) or to have my bladder just do automic reflex voiding without me thinking about it. At this time, however, I almost always need to focus on staying relaxed and thus always conscious of my voiding.

Time will tell though. 

[sparklezBear]

At this point, I think I'm about a week shy of 5 months 24/7 and potty un-training. Over time I have been developing my incontinence, and do have a decent chance of creating a puddle if I go without a nappy for a short time such as in morning while getting in or out of the shower. Perhaps it's just coincidental, but the sound of running water often starts the flow. I've not yet tried to stop the flow when this occurs, although I do try to move away from absorbent flooring. I'm also having more infrequent dribbles in my nappy without any sensation except for the dribble exiting my body. Both of these developments are quiet welcome, and I've adjusted my morning routine to avoid going without a nappy for those short times either side of showers/baths.

Otherwise sitting upright still seems to kink operations, and often I have no sense of anything to release. Usually once I stand however, the sensation hits suddenly before my bladder automatically empties. This can create a problem if sitting for a long time as it can result in a minor flooding event which can in turn result in leaks. To avoid those leaks, I do try to get up periodically to ensure I'm not holding any notable amount.

There are still odd occasions where my bladder gets shy for a brief times. During those times, I can either push past easily, or give it a few minutes when things will generally move without much thought. It seems to be a case of, the less attention the better. Those times are getting progressively rare.

Lastly, I'm never dry overnight. Even on nights like last night when I stirred and woke several times, my bladder felt empty each time while my nappy was swelling a little more each time I woke. I don't know how many times I'm releasing during sleep, but I think it's a few, perhaps relative to a shrinking bladder capacity. Another welcome development.

That's my update. Still no regrets. Gladly in nappies 24/7, and gladly incontinent. 

[oznl]

19 hours ago, sparklezBear said:

Perhaps it's just coincidental, but the sound of running water often starts the flow.

Not co-incidence I think.  A few of us have discussed this before.  I know that cleaning my teeth before bed often triggers a small burst of pee into my night nappy before I've really had time to think about it.

[Enthusi]

1 hour ago, oznl said:

Not co-incidence I think.  A few of us have discussed this before.  I know that cleaning my teeth before bed often triggers a small burst of pee into my night nappy before I've really had time to think about it.

At least you pad up at first. I still haven’t made it a habit.  Im so used to doing everything right after showering while in my towel.  And it doesn’t always go so well. 
 

 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

On 6/22/2021 at 11:13 AM, Enthusi said:

For those who are actively seeking incontinence, or strongly thinking about it, how is it going?  
 

Share as much or as little as you’d like, including victories, frustrations, concerns, goals. It’s all fair game! 
 

For me…  I’ve been experiencing a lot of unexpected leaks over the last few months.   My guess is that as my bladder control worsens, I’m wetting smaller amounts more frequently and so it’s harder for me to remember or notice when I’m wet. (I’m always wet).  I can’t rely on my memory of wetting to predict when I’ll need a change like I’ve done for decades as a casual diaper wearer.  

As a result I am relying on external clues like the wetness indicator and the squishiness and making myself change at scheduled times even if I think I’m dry.  It’s all so exhilarating and terrifying in a way that’s hard to describe.  Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and it thrills me. But it’s definitely not for the faint of heart.  Maybe I’ll make a separate discussion dedicated to that. 
 

Looking forward to hearing from others!

Just curious what got you started wearing full time and un-potty training?  If you haves post about it could you link it so I could read it?  Thank you in advance.