How to develop a system?

[Anonymous12]

So I am learning how to improve my quality of life by wearing incontinence briefs while going outside my apartment and it feels like I’m doing the right thing to participate more in outdoor activities. However, I was on a walk outside my building with my walker and when I got back, I realized that I had an accident without me knowing about it. I have been wearing 24/7 because it is quite a hassle to change in and out of a brief. I’m not sure what to do because I don’t want to lose complete control of my bladder but I also sometimes spontaneously need to go to the grocery store.

I know for a fact that I need IC products when going out but the original intention was for them to be a backup. Do you guys have some ideas on what I should do? How can I develop a system where I’m not dependent on them but I wear them when I venture out?

 

 

 

[Cute_Kitten]

 

As Firefly already said, pull-ups might be a good choice. There's a wide variety of pull-ups with various capacities (you can always post a thread asking for product recommendations- we also have a subforum full of product reviews).  Pull-ups will let you go to the bathroom at home, but also provide some back up in case of an accident. Unlike tape on diapers, they slide up and down so they're easier on and off.  Or you can always wear pull-ups around the house, treat them like underwear and try to make it to the bathroom, but when you go out, if you need more protection you can wear a more absorbent diaper (these also come in various absorbency levels as I'm sure you already know but just mentioning it in case).  If you have any medical changes or concerns like a sudden increase in accidents, etc I'd highly recommend talking to your doctor about that. But for products, dealing with life in diapers, etc. DD is a great resource so you've come to the right place.  

The only way to get a routine down is to ask for recommendations- but everyone's routine and needs are different, so replies might be different- and experiment and find out what works/ does not work for you. 

[Firefly 35]

Pull ups and/or thinner diapers might be helpful for that.  As for not becoming dependent, that has more to do with one's mindset than choice of diapers.

[Anonymous12]

Thank you guys for your answers! I guess what I’m asking is if my accident was subconscious. In other words, I would have had to have an accident anyway because it would take awhile to go park my  walker and then go back into the bathroom then start walking again but the fact that I went without knowing is what bothers me. If this doesn’t make sense, let me know.

I’m wearing pull-ups already but I hope I can still have control over when I have an accident outside my apartment if that makes any sense.

[~Brian~]

@Anonymous12

In Early Summer of 2019, I started having accidents, and unintended releases both ways into my pants.  Pull Ups are NOT designed for the times you just cant make it to the bathroom, if you have a large bladder, and large releases/voids.  I used their "cloth backed products" for 2 months, and then determined that they were all JUNK, because they were designed for the occasional "dribble" or small pees.  I needed FULL ON PLASTIC Backed diapers, because you cannot trust that you are not gonna flood these things out when you are in need of them.  Trust me, these "cloth backed" briefs are JUNK, and unless you are going for the BEST available, you will get subpar products.  Take a look at a Northshore Megamax ( I call them Megas)  They are designed for those who have TOTAL Incontinence both ways:  They can be used without fear, and they are NOT pull ups, however, they DO make them at Northshore:  @NorthShoreAdam has a wide range of products, and he does respond to questions/inquiries.

I don't think that "control" is what you lose:  If you have to go to the bathroom, you may not want to release in a pull up or a diaper, but the alternative is that you have wet pants, or a wet seat. (for those in wheelchairs)  You don't lose all control just because you are wearing a pull up or a diaper:  You "lose it" when you can't HOLD it back and you have to release.  If you are incontinent, and you never had control of your bladder or bowels, and that is all you know, then you may NOT realize you are releasing, or, you may KNOW that you are releasing pee or poop, but you can't HELP it:  Being Incontinent like some of my friends here are, means that they are just gonna "GO" when they need to, whether or not they feel it or not.  Remember, that I told you that you are "functionally incontinent" because you can't access the toilet?  You are incontinent, but that does NOT mean you are just gonna have no control at all.

If you wear a pull up, or choose a diaper sometimes, that is just to make sure that IF YOU HAVE TO go, that you can do so without worrying about it when you are out:  An "accident" is NOT something that you can control:  If you have to release, then you do it, and the diaper is changed when you can get to it.  If you can go to the potty before you go out, and you have a pull up/diaper on, then anything released is done while you are out.  You should also know that you could release at ANY time, and part of being incontinent means you DON'T KNOW WHAT you are going to release, or WHEN you will do it, but you WILL release.

13 hours ago, Cute_Kitten said:

As Firefly already said, pull-ups might be a good choice. There's a wide variety of pull-ups with various capacities (you can always post a thread asking for product recommendations- we also have a subforum full of product reviews).  Pull-ups will let you go to the bathroom at home, but also provide some back up in case of an accident. Unlike tape on diapers, they slide up and down so they're easier on and off.  Or you can always wear pull-ups around the house, treat them like underwear and try to make it to the bathroom, but when you go out, if you need more protection you can wear a more absorbent diaper (these also come in various absorbency levels as I'm sure you already know but just mentioning it in case).  If you have any medical changes or concerns like a sudden increase in accidents, etc I'd highly recommend talking to your doctor about that. But for products, dealing with life in diapers, etc. DD is a great resource so you've come to the right place.  

@Cute_Kitten is RIGHT ON:  do not worry about whether or not you "make it" to the bathroom or not.  If you CAN do it - Then, AWESOME - But there are gonna be times when you CAN'T, or you are not fast enough, and you will have "accidents."  When you CAN'T do it, or DON'T make it, don't sweat it:  That is what you are wearing pull ups or diapers for:  If you need to release, then you just let it happen.  I mean, a baby wears a diaper, and they are NOT expected to use the potty, but mom or dad knows that they're gonna have a wet/dirty diaper to change at some point.  You are by NO MEANS a baby, but DO NOT feel bad because you don't make it:  I also wear, and I got tired of falling, or worrying about the future, or when I just could NOT hold it, so I went for diapers in August, and I then joined here the same week.  I have not regretted my decision, and I've gotten a lot of advice from many members:  I am 24/7 now, and I made that decision because I want to be comfortable and safe, and I want to be in control of what I can control. 

If you need to get diapers, pull ups, or other supplies, go see a doctor, and tell them EXACTLY what is going on.  I am sure that you will be able to get what you need, but you are WARNED, that they will probably be low quality diapers or pull ups.  We have a good product review section on DD, and I am sure that people that have "Incontinent" in the "Diapers:" Field, will be happy to assist you further.  Remember, YOU are the one that has to make the decision of what you are comfortable with, but don't feel bad if you need to use incontinence products.

Good Luck!

Brian

Edited February 7, 2021 by ~Brian~
edited spelling of words

[steve in diaps]

I have learned over time with trail and error. Most of the time I use high capacity pull-ups and diapers on the rough days. I use timed bathroom breaks. Also bathroom breaks at the places for errands. Most of the time I get 5 to 15 min warning for the need to go to the bathroom. My hard part was a system for changing. I have a tactical vest that can hold a pull-up and small pack of wipes and gloves. When I had heart surgery the complications irritated my back and I used a walker for three months.  So I put supplies in the storage box for changing. I also have a small bag I can carry supplies with me. I also carry extra clothes in to car if needed.. Can be somewhat embarrassing to explaining the need to carry it ito stores. " The I need to change my diaper" conversations. 

So find the products you are comfortable with and do some pre-planning and it will take some of the stress out of dealing with issues. It took me awhile to get to this point and I still have set backs. Accidents will happen just try to be proactive and get out and enjoy life and activities you are interested in.