All My Mother's Rules (Ch. 70 & Epilogue - 2/13/24)

[Night Rain]

I think Sarah's punishment is a tad extreme and something I don't agree with.

[spark]

Just now, Night Rain said:

I think Sarah's punishment is a tad extreme and something I don't agree with.

have you agreed with any of her Mom's methods?

[nadine_enough]

4 hours ago, Night Rain said:

I think Sarah's punishment is a tad extreme and something I don't agree with.

Sarah's mother is either the antagonist of the story, or she is an avatar of the abusive system acting as the antagonist. Well-written antagonists will do things that are unjustified, horrible, and even villainous from the reader's perspective. That's their role narratively: to create a situation for the protagonist to overcome, learn from, and grow afterwards. They are the bad guys from the perspective of the reader and the protagonist.

So, if you, rightly, don't agree with what Sarah's mother is doing, then the author has done their job successfully.

[Kahlez]

We don´t really know a lot about her mother yet and maybe this is could be one of the situations where her mother went through the same or some abuse in her past. I would guess at least something happened because being that kind of mother out of nothing seems weird (or lazy writing which I don´t think). So maybe in a way both of them are victims but further chapters may give is more on information's. Regardless Sarah blaming herself is a really bad sign... I can speak out of experience.

[Lost Little Neppy]

This is so sad. It's cruel for her mother to take her outside when her diaper could easily be seen under her leggings and jacket, and while her mother is certainly responsible for this (who the hell doesn't notice this in their kid and call their pediatrician?), Sarah doesn't seem to think that's the case at all.

I recall earlier in the story when her mother mentioned that she had to wear diapers, and it makes me wonder if this is generational abuse going on. Maybe this is something that worked on her, and therefore her mom thinks that it will work on Sarah. It would explain some of the eccentricities of her (baking Christmas cookies during October, readying for Christmas as soon as she possibly can, her potty training with Emilia and how it just ended up with her making constant steps back until the suppository idea Sarah came up with), but I think the mother wants to do more extreme methods to try and punish this out of Sarah.

I don't know how much public babying she'll do with Sarah, and I definitely don't know if she would want that placed on her. I don't think Sarah's mother wants people to know that her teenage daughter has a wetting problem, as it would reflect on her as a mother. But at the same time, maybe she would risk it to punish Sarah more and get her to "understand how inappropriate this is."

Once again, does this woman not believe in taking her kids to the doctor? I wouldn't be surprised if she considered all doctors to be quacks and saw to her daughters' healthcare herself.

[MinnesotaWriter]

On 12/19/2023 at 3:31 PM, AdultInnocence said:

She is thinking like someone that is abused and that it is what she deserved. She hasn't linked the fall at school with when things started to get bad because she was wetting the bed at that time. It isn't like she was completely dry and then all of a sudden started having issues.

I really hope her friends see her on her walk home and go to Lisa's uncle. If there was a time she needed someone to change her way of thinking and rescue her from this, it's now.

To clarify the timeline. Sarah had been dry at night for a few years leading up to the story. Her daytime accidents and the return of her bedwetting happened at about the same time.

On 12/19/2023 at 3:40 PM, nadine_enough said:

The declaration of the rules is so reminiscient of classic ABDL stories. I love it. This story is so good!

Thanks!

21 hours ago, GQLF said:

When Sarah began to comply with her mother's rules and thought it would be better, she even began to feel that it was right to comply with her mother earlier. If there were no external influences, this matter would have become irreversible.

I'm counting eight chapters left at this point (that number is subject to change as they get written). A lot can happen in that amount of time.

19 hours ago, spark said:

The narcism is out of control.  Based on the chapter, Sarah is feeling hopeless, and this is way crueler than what she has ever been.   The forced baby talk and putting her in a crib that isn't big enough is just evil, and there is a chance that she becomes brainwashed.   Fortunately, Emilia is acting like a three-year-old and unable to really participate in the behavior.

Another issue is Emilia isn't even four years old.  At some point she will do something that will earn her mom's wrath.   It might be an accident because sometimes four-year-olds get distracted.  It could be a tantrum, becomes she wants to do something, or maybe it's just doing something stupid like drawing on the wall.     I have a sense that something is going to break soon.

Mom would likely be arrested for that behavior, but it would be a short sentence.   Based on experience, narcissists don't change, so Mom will not change.   There is no coming back from this relationship.  Mom has proven that she is not a reliable parent, nor one who can be trusted.   Without completely isolating Sarah from the rest of society, Mom can only exert so much control before Sarah seeks her escape.  That even happened with the Turpin children, and they were so isolated that they didn't realize how unnatural their parents' behavior was.  Right now, Sarah feels like she deserves this, but that won't last very long.

Hard to say that Emilia will be getting into trouble anytime soon. Narcissists tend to have a favorite "golden child" and a least favorite "the scapegoat." With how much the mom is focused on Sarah, it seems like Emilia is going to be safe for the time being.

19 hours ago, BabySofia said:

I would guess it'll last a lot longer than you think. At this point she's going to need counseling to deprogram the idea that she 'deserves this.' Mom needs to have her custodial rights revoked... Question is does anyone figure out something is wrong before the end of the break? These poor girls need removed as soon as possible, and hopefully a doctor can evaluate Sarah. I would hazard she'll be incontinent for the rest of her life at this point with any treatment being so far delayed. 

Appreciate the updates... hope you won't leave us in suspense too long.

Thanks, the next chapter will be up next week after Christmas. Sadly, I couldn't time things perfectly to have the Christmas chapter on Christmas day, but it will be close enough. Chapter 58 is the Christmas one.57 takes place before then.

16 hours ago, Night Rain said:

I think Sarah's punishment is a tad extreme and something I don't agree with.

I would be more than a little concerned if someone thought the mom's behavior was defensible at this point in the story.

10 hours ago, Kahlez said:

We don´t really know a lot about her mother yet and maybe this is could be one of the situations where her mother went through the same or some abuse in her past. I would guess at least something happened because being that kind of mother out of nothing seems weird (or lazy writing which I don´t think). So maybe in a way both of them are victims but further chapters may give is more on information's. Regardless Sarah blaming herself is a really bad sign... I can speak out of experience.

Not planning on going more into the mother's past, but yes, abuse is something that does tend to be cyclical through generations. It would be fair to speculate that the mom didn't have a great upbringing herself.

7 hours ago, Lost Little Neppy said:

This is so sad. It's cruel for her mother to take her outside when her diaper could easily be seen under her leggings and jacket, and while her mother is certainly responsible for this (who the hell doesn't notice this in their kid and call their pediatrician?), Sarah doesn't seem to think that's the case at all.

I recall earlier in the story when her mother mentioned that she had to wear diapers, and it makes me wonder if this is generational abuse going on. Maybe this is something that worked on her, and therefore her mom thinks that it will work on Sarah. It would explain some of the eccentricities of her (baking Christmas cookies during October, readying for Christmas as soon as she possibly can, her potty training with Emilia and how it just ended up with her making constant steps back until the suppository idea Sarah came up with), but I think the mother wants to do more extreme methods to try and punish this out of Sarah.

I don't know how much public babying she'll do with Sarah, and I definitely don't know if she would want that placed on her. I don't think Sarah's mother wants people to know that her teenage daughter has a wetting problem, as it would reflect on her as a mother. But at the same time, maybe she would risk it to punish Sarah more and get her to "understand how inappropriate this is."

Once again, does this woman not believe in taking her kids to the doctor? I wouldn't be surprised if she considered all doctors to be quacks and saw to her daughters' healthcare herself.

It's been mentioned a few times in story, but the mom does the absolute bare minimum for interacting with doctors. Only recent time Sarah went was a required checkup so she could be eligible for the cheerleading team.

That's part of it, she's also expressed views that suggest she views Sarah's accidents as more of a personal failing rather than a medical issue. I.e. she views Sarah as being too lazy or distracted or careless or even accusing her of wanting to be a baby, rather than considering the problem to be something that Sarah doesn't have any control over.

[AdultInnocence]

20 hours ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

I'm counting eight chapters left at this point (that number is subject to change as they get written). A lot can happen in that amount of time.

We have a target number! Either way if it's 8 or a few more, I definitely feel like the story is getting really close to a point where it needs to come to an end. All good things (stories) must come to an end. Doesn't mean we will never see them in another story at some point if you ever decide to write about them again. Even if not, this has been a fun story to read.

[Night Rain]

On 12/20/2023 at 9:39 PM, spark said:

have you agreed with any of her Mom's methods?

No I haven't but doing something like that is just screwed up.

[spark]

19 hours ago, Night Rain said:

No I haven't but doing something like that is just screwed up.

I know that not the way the story works, but I'd like to ask mom "What did Sarah do that is so wrong?"

Ok, she did wet her pants numerous times and bought Pull-ups without her mom's consent. But she was taking care of her incontinence issues independently and doing a pretty good job.   

A breakdown with a normal parent would be: daughter suddenly finds herself wetting her pants.  At first she is embarrassed, but she trusts mom and let's mom know.  Mom makes sure she is fine.   Eventually they decide it best to use protection.  Mom gives Sarah a case of Pull-ups and say's "Here you are.  Let me know when you are running out, so I can buy you some more."  Sarah would still have the 9th grade girl drama, and Desi would still be a closeted diaper wearer, but it's not that much of a story.

[AdultInnocence]

On 12/22/2023 at 7:13 PM, spark said:

Sarah would still have the 9th grade girl drama, and Desi would still be a closeted diaper wearer, but it's not that much of a story.

You mean Samantha, Desi is the only one in that group with no interest at all. I think I got Samantha's name right!!! I really need to get in bed.

[spark]

12 hours ago, AdultInnocence said:

You mean Samantha, Desi is the only one in that group with no interest at all. I think I got Samantha's name right!!! I really need to get in bed.

yeah.  Samantha would be the closeted diaper wearer.

[MinnesotaWriter]

Chapter 57: Chance Encounter

I extracted every last drop of liquid that I could from the baby bottle, sucking on it as hard as I could, not because I was still thirsty, but because Mom wasn't going to remove the rubber tip from my lips until the bottle was completely empty.

Mom had switched to having me drink baby formula instead of warmed-up milk. It was sweet and creamy. I had to admit that it did taste better than the milk, at least when it was either warm or cold, but not when it was at room temperature—another incentive for drinking it quickly.

"All done, such a good job," Mom said, as she used a small cloth towel to wipe my face dry of some formula that hadn't quite made its way into my mouth.

This was the morning routine Mom had settled in for me the past week. At least, I think it had been a week. It was getting hard to keep track of which day it was now. Mornings would begin with a diaper change in bed, followed by being fed in the highchair, which Emilia often assisted with. After that, Mom would have me come with her to the couch, where I would lie in her lap and attempt to drink a bottle of warm baby formula as fast as possible.

Each time I had attempted to hold my bladder in until the feeding was finished. I had only succeeded in that once so far. Mom never changed me out of my pajamas until after breakfast was finished, which today meant that I was only wearing a short nightgown to go with the diaper.

But even outside of bottle feedings, it was getting harder and harder to find the motivation to even try to hold in my bladder. It didn't help that the diaper was so much more absorbent than a pull-up that if I did have any small accidents, I was completely unaware that they had happened.

"Looks like someone went pee pee in her diaper," Mom said. She gave my exposed diaper a completely unnecessary squeeze with her hand. Even with how I was lying down, I could clearly see that the diaper was wet.

"Shall we go get your diapie changed?" Mom asked.

I was spared the indignity of needing to respond. The question was clearly rhetorical as Mom had just replaced the bottle with a pacifier.

There were few circumstances where it was more difficult for me to try to hold in my bladder. Something about sucking the warm liquid out of the bottle made it more difficult for me to focus on holding my bladder in. My goal had been for my diaper to still be dry by the time the feeding was over, but as was obvious to Mom, that had not been the case.

Mom had as much time off from work for Christmas as I did from school, so there hadn't been any question of what would happen to my babying should she need to go into the office. Emilia was also on break from going to her preschool classes. There were times when she had delighted in taking on the role of older sister in Mom's seemingly endless punishment of me, but Emilia was still a few months from turning four, and her attention span was short enough that she was easily distracted from that task.

Endless was the right description for how long Mom was keeping me in this punishment. I knew it would have been foolish to expect it to have gone on for only a day, like the previous times Mom had disciplined me for having multiple accidents in a day, but I had expected something like three or four days at the most. It was now only three days before Christmas and Mom had shown no sign of relenting.

One of the most important things not to do in the middle of one of Mom's punishments was to ask her how much longer it was going to continue. I couldn't recall a single instance where that question had ever been answered to my satisfaction. Any sign of impatience was only going to result in Mom deciding that I needed more time to learn whatever lesson she was attempting to impart.

The rare occasions where I had been successful in getting Mom to change her mind had always been ones where I had definitive proof that I was in the right, and even then, the topic had to be approached delicately.

I didn't have a single leg to stand on to argue that this punishment wasn't deserved. Even if I hadn't been stupid enough to give Mom a full confession during the stressful minutes after my secret had been outed, the evidence for my disobedience well exceeded the threshold of reasonable doubt.

Besides, one had to believe in an argument for it to be successful.

---

Every bit of clothing Mom had dressed me in this week had been intended to serve one purpose, to make it obvious to me that I was wearing a diaper. Anything that left the diaper covered with its outline completely obscured, such as a knee-length dress or high-rise baggy sweatpants, was completely out of the picture.

Mom didn't usually have the heat running heavily in the winter. She preferred to bundle up to deal with the cold. But she had made an exception for a few days this week, meaning that it was possible to have me spend the day wearing only a diaper and a t-shirt without going around shivering.

I waddled along behind Mom as we walked to the bedroom.

"Can I help with diapie change?" Emilia asked as we passed her in the hallway.

Of all the things that my younger sister had to be most excited to help with, it had to be diaper changes.

"Not now," Mom said. "You need to go use the potty. We're going to get in the car once I've got your sister changed and dressed."

Emilia ran off to the bathroom. I followed behind Mom. Glad she couldn't see the horrified look on my face.

Where exactly were we going, and how long was I going to be out in public?

"Mommy. Where we going?"

I'd only forgotten to use baby talk on one occasion the past week, for which I had been punished with a spanking on my bare bottom. Mom had at least proven to be receptive to small outbursts so long as they came in the correct format.

"You'll just have to wait and see," Mom said.

I shivered as Mom ran a cold wet wipe along my bare skin. It had been one thing to go on a walk to the park. It was another to go somewhere where I would be surrounded by a bunch of people. Christmas was only a few days away. There wasn't anywhere we could be going that wouldn't be completely packed.

I remained on the bed after Mom had finished taping on a clean diaper. The amount of powder she had applied was more than usual. Not a good sign for how long Mom expected me to be going without a diaper change. Also not a good sign for anyone I might walk past in the hallway, though they could easily attribute that smell to Emilia.

I couldn't count on Mom to avoid doing anything that might embarrass me, but I could count on doing anything that she felt might embarrass herself. That left me hopeful that whatever outfit she selected would be one that wouldn't make it obvious that I was wearing a diaper.

I was barely able to stifle a laugh as Mom retrieved a pair of jeans from my dresser. I already knew that they weren't going to fit over the diaper, but that wasn't something Mom was aware of, so I had to try to stand still as Mom struggled and failed to get the jeans over the diaper. Skinny-fit jeans and a thick diaper simply aren't a good combination.

Mom finally gave up and tugged the jeans off in frustration. That was fine with me. Mom may not have been super attentive to how I had taken to wearing dresses to school the couple of weeks before Christmas break. But the dresses I had gotten from Lisa were still hanging in my closet. Mom would have to be blind to miss them. That would have been my preferred choice if we were to be going out in public.

But instead of heading over to the closet, Mom continued to sift through my dresser, until at last she pulled out a pair of leggings that had been tucked away in the very back of a drawer.

"That's what I was looking for," Mom said, as she walked back over to me with the dark gray leggings. "Need something stretchy to get over your bottom."

I bit my lip before I could begin to argue. Best to wait until I could see how the whole outfit would turn out. Perhaps the leggings would be paired with a skirt, dress, or a shirt long enough to cover my bottom. If not, pointing out how obvious the diaper was beneath the leggings might be enough to get Mom to adjust the outfit without having to throw a fit over it.

I laid down again on the bed and held my legs out so Mom could pull the leggings onto my feet. I had intentionally avoided this pair of leggings when I had been looking for something to wear to the mall on Black Friday. I had figured they would be too snug, which would make the diaper more noticeable.

I caught a glance of my bottom in the mirror before following Mom out of the bedroom. It felt off, not because the outline of the diaper was visible, but because I knew my bottom wasn't that big. The snugness of the leggings had worked somewhat in my favor, compressing the diaper around my body in a way that made my butt look bigger but didn't make it look as those there was something other than underwear under the leggings.

Any of my friends, and especially Lisa, would notice right away that I was in a diaper, but to a random stranger, it wouldn't be noticeable, at least when dry. I hoped whatever errand Mom was bringing me along to run wasn't going to take so long that I would be soaked by the time we got back.

The long-sleeved shirt didn't go down quite as much as I would have preferred, but I felt confident it would do when combined with my jacket, as long as I didn't bend over or raise my arms all the way up into the air.

My young sister was waiting for us by the doorway once I had gotten dressed. Emilia and I had matching outfits, well, matching on the outside at least. I glanced around for Mom, but she hadn't followed behind me. It took her a few more minutes to be ready to go. She had exchanged her normal purse for a shoulder bag that I could make an educated guess as to what it contained. What on earth did Mom have planned for today?

I walked out to the car, looking down at my waist to reassure myself that the diaper wasn't noticeable as I moved around.

With each turn Mom made as we began the drive, I grew more and more suspicious of what our destination was going to be. The direction we were going in was clear. The only question was whether we were going to stop somewhere else along the route we were taking. There was still some hope, slight hope at least, that we weren't going where I feared we were.

Those hopes were dashed as Mom exited the highway on the ramp that led directly to the shopping mall.

---

I exited the car cautiously after Mom finally found a parking spot in the two-story garage, giving my jack a slight tug down to make sure it was covering as much of my leggings as possible.

The crinkling sound I made while walking was noticeable while in the parking lot, but once we entered the mall, it was drowned out by all the surrounding noise of shoppers rushing to get their last-minute gifts.

It was less busy than it had been a month ago on Black Friday, but only barely so. I remembered what had happened to Samantha when she had drunk so much and held in her bladder for so long that her diaper wasn't able to contain everything when she finally wet it.

I wasn't likely to have that problem. The bottle of formula I had for breakfast was nowhere the size of a large coffee, and either way, I couldn't hold my bladder long enough to the point where a single accident would cause a diaper to overflow. I suppose that would be a sign of potty training progress if I were to ever manage that.

Today wasn't the day to try to find that out. Emilia and I stood next to Mom as she scanned the mall directory. I wasn't sure what it was exactly that we were shopping for. There had been a ton of Amazon packages arriving over the past week, many of which I had been instructed not to touch. With how Mom wasn't leaving me on my own, I assumed that the majority of the shopping for this Christmas was being done online.

I felt my diaper warm up as I waited impatiently for Mom to find the location on the map for the store she found in the directory. Not now. At least it felt like it had only been a small accident. I hoped that was the case, given how there were now people waiting behind us to look at the directory.

With each day of being in a diaper, my determination to work on holding in my bladder waned. It all felt rather pointless. Besides, I'd have Mom providing me with a ready supply of pull-ups once school started again, so it wasn't even as if there was some rush to have all my problems solved when school started again in less than two weeks.

Mom's shopping list took us through several children's stores. First, we had to spend nearly an hour in a shoe store getting new sneakers for Emilia. She complained that every pair of shoes Mom put on her made her feet her, at least until she tried on a pair of shoes with her favorite Disney princess on them.

My diaper continued to get wetter as the shopping trip progressed. I made use of every possible opportunity to keep my bottom out of view, whether that was leaning up against a wall or sitting down at a bench while Mom had Emilia try on some new winter jackets.

After several more tiny accidents, I was able to discreetly check my bottom in the mirror at a store. It wasn't as bad as I feared, but if I went longer without a diaper change, I couldn't help but imagine how my leggings would begin to sag.

I finally couldn't hold in my question for Mom any longer.

"How much longer are we going to be shopping?"

"We still have some more things to get," Mom said. "Your sister has had quite the growth spurt lately." The question did cause Mom to look at her phone. "We have one more store to go to, then we can get lunch before finishing the shopping."

The next store was at least the quickest one. The first few pairs of leggings that Mom picked out for Emilia fit her without any issues.

We stopped at a family restroom before heading to the food court. The three of us entered the family restroom together. That wasn't as embarrassing as I had feared a diaper change at the mall would be. Anyone watching would be assuming that we were going in to assist Emilia rather than me.

Mom did have Emilia sit on the toilet as she pulled down my jeans to change my diaper. I turned around to give her some privacy. I was glad Mom was having me change in a standing position. Aside from not wanting to have to lie down to be changed on such a hard surface, the floor wasn't exactly looking immaculately clean.

Mom ordered a cheeseburger meal for herself and a kid's meal with chicken nuggets for my sister. She turned to me, and I realized it was my turn to order. This restaurant wouldn't have been my first choice, but at least I wasn't stuck with a kid's meal. I hadn't put any thought into what I wanted to eat. I quickly chose a hamburger meal for myself, not paying much attention even to the toppings that came on it with that particular combo meal.

I devoured the hamburger. Each bite was incredibly delicious. It was so good to have something to eat that wasn't baby food. I slowed myself down when I got to the fries, eating them one by one with ketchup. I knew it was going to make me hate whatever baby meal Mom had planned tonight even more, but it was wonderful to eat real food for the first time in a week.

The last thing Mom needed to purchase for my sister was several pairs of jeans. She still was too young to figure out how to do buttons on her own, so they were all ones with stretchy waistbands. Like the leggings, it was easy to find ones with a good fit, and there weren't any with princess designs on them for Emilia to get distracted by.

Personally, I was just glad to be finally on the way home. As nice as it was to go out and get regular food for once, I simply wanted to be able to not be in a constant state of worrying about the condition of my bottom and who might be looking at it.

We made a restroom stop on the way to the car. Emilia might be potty trained, but Mom still wasn't taking any chances with her.

There wasn't a family restroom near the mall entrance, just regular ones with normal stalls, so I was left to stand outside in the hallway while waiting for Emilia to finish her business.

"Sarah, is that you? What are you doing here?"

I turned around in shock. Lisa was standing a few feet in front of me, holding a couple of shopping bags. I looked around but didn't see her aunt or uncle.

"I'm shopping. What else am I supposed to be doing at a mall? Where are your aunt and uncle?"

"My aunt dropped me off so I could get in a bit of Christmas shopping. But that really doesn't matter. Are you OK? None of my texts have been getting through, and I didn't even see you online on Fortnite. You need to tell me if something is wrong. I can help."

"I don't have my phone. I'm grounded. No video games either. Which sucks for Christmas break."

"What for?"

"Doesn't matter. I don't want to talk right now."

Under no circumstances could I have Mom realize I had spoken with Lisa, let alone allow them to have any interaction with each other.

"It's not like I don't know when things don't look right," Lisa said.

I just needed her to go away. The amount of trouble that she could cause if this argument expanded to Mom was more than I wanted to think about.

"Look, just fuck off. I don't want anything to do with you."

I felt sick to my stomach as the words left my mouth. Lisa looked as though she was about to start crying. But she wasn't leaving. Mom had to be ready to come out at any minute. It couldn't take Emilia that much longer to use the toilet. I hated myself for what I was about to do. But I didn't see any other choice.

"Just go, OK. And stay the fuck away from me. We're not friends anymore."

Lisa gasped. I saw a couple of tears run down her face before she turned and ran down the hallway. She was out of sight by the time Mom and Emilia rejoined me a minute later.

---

I usually found it hard to avoid crying when I was upset. But I hurt so much that I didn't even seem capable of crying. Three months of knowing Lisa. Gone. Just like that. I'd burned that bridge to the ground with napalm.

But I had to move on. Mom was already motioning for me to hurry up and follow her and Emilia to the exit and to our car. And I already needed to pee again, so good luck with even being able to stay dry until we got home.

But as we continued to walk toward the exit, the need to pee began to become the least of my problems. I wasn't sure what it was about my lunch, but it seemed as though it had caused my bowels to speed up. Everything inside me was beginning to speed up uncomfortably.

There were a few minutes while we were walking to the exit of the mall that I thought there would be a chance of at least making it home until I shit myself, but as we stepped into the parking garage, I realized that I was now going to be lucky if I made it until we got into the car. Even if I were to ask Mom to let me go back and use the toilet just this once, with the restrooms even further away, I wouldn't get there in time either.

I slowed down my pace until both Mom and Emilia were a few feet ahead of me, and then I came to a stop.

I didn't have any say in the matter as I simultaneously messed and wet myself while standing in the parking lot. I kept my distance from Mom and Emilia as I followed them to the car. Emilia was the first to notice what I had done.

"Mommy, Sarah has a poopy diaper."

"She what?" Mom turned and sniffed, only to wrinkle her nose in disgust.

"Really Sarah, you couldn't wait until we got home?"

"I had to go really badly. I couldn't hold it any longer."

"Then you should have said something. Could have taken off your diaper to have you go in the family restroom."

Like Mom actually would have believed I needed to go that urgently. I didn't understand why Mom was so angry with me. What the fuck did she expect with bringing me in public? I'd messed my diaper nearly every day at home since this punishment first began.

"Seriously," Mom said. "It's almost as if you like going potty in your diapers rather than in the toilet."

"That's not true."

"Who spent the last few months being too lazy to go to the toilet?"

I didn't say anything. I wasn't going to give Mom the satisfaction of admitting to anything further. But was she right? Was my bladder just not as strong as my friends? Were the accidents my fault for not going to the toilet as frequently as my body required?

"I'm not taking you back inside the mall to get changed. You'd be stinking up every hallway on the way to the restroom. And I'm not having you sit in the car all the way home in a messy diaper."

I was grateful not to be headed back inside the mall. I couldn't run into Lisa again, not like this. Not to mention all the strangers who would be made uncomfortably aware of my accident. But I wasn't sure what Mom could be planning to do instead.

I found out why Mom's bag was so full as she removed a changing pad from it and placed it in the back seat.

"Not here. Please."

"You should have thought of that before you decided to poop in your diaper."

There wasn't anyone else around, but the longer I argued, the more I risked other people witnessing this scene. I laid down on the changing mat, unable to prevent myself from pressing down on the diaper, causing shit to spread further across my bottom.

Emilia's car seat was right behind the passenger seat. Which left just enough room for me to lie down, though my lower legs and feet would be sticking out. We were at the far end of the parking garage, with the open door facing a wall. Unless a passerby got too inquisitive for their own good, there wouldn't be any issues with doing a diaper change.

Mom pulled my jeans down to my knees, grimacing as she cleaned me up in record time. I pulled my pants up myself while she wrapped up the diaper and put the changing pad back into her bag.

"Here," Mom said. She handed me the rolled-up diaper.

"What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Go toss it in the garbage. I'm not having it stink up the car."

"Mom, I can't carry a diaper around. People are going to see."

"Then you better hurry."

I looked both ways as I exited the car. I could see some shoppers off to my left as I speed-walked to the mall entrance, where there were a couple of large trash bins. I shifted the diaper to my right hand, trying to keep it out of their view.

I tried to focus solely on my destination, trying to pretend as though I didn't have a single care whether someone saw what I was doing. I tossed the diaper in a trash bin and hurried back around to the car.

I didn't think Mom had thought through this situation all that well. There was still a lingering, unpleasant odor from the diaper change as we spent the next twenty minutes driving home. And it was far too cold out to crack the windows open to let in some fresh air. At least everything would have remained inside the diaper had Mom waited until we got home.

I tried to breathe through my nose as little as possible. What was even the point of trying to get toilet trained? All the evidence of the past few months suggested that I wasn't even capable of that anymore.

Sure, it would be nice to be back in pull-ups during the day. But the mission of getting back into big girl underwear had never seemed so difficult before than now.

[thedman]

At this point I have to hope that Lisa's bullshit detector has gone haywire and that she will find a way to get the right adults involved and save her friend

[Nappygirl97]

I hope Lisa is smart enough to know what's going on and continue to help Sarah. 

Also although not ideal but with how she's been getting worse it's good to see Sarah get closer towards giving up fighting and accepting diapers. 

Hopefully Sarah can be saved by her friends and accept she needs diapers by the end of this. 

[kerry]

3 hours ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

“Look, just fuck off. I don’t want anything to do with you.”

I felt sick to my stomach as the words left my mouth. Lisa looked as though she was about to start crying. But she wasn’t leaving. Mom had to be ready to come out at any minute. It couldn’t take Emilia that much longer to use the toilet. I hated myself for what I was about to do. But I didn’t see any other choice.

“Just go, OK. And stay the fuck away from me. We’re not friends anymore.”

WTF??? This is so mean and unnecessary! I'd hope that Sarah was trying to send some signal to Lisa, but the narrative makes it clear that she is not.

[Jayme]

Fear does some weird crap to people. Sarah fears what her mother would/could do to her.

[spark]

50 minutes ago, Jayme said:

Fear does some weird crap to people. Sarah fears what her mother would/could do to her.

 

Exactly, I'm just hoping that Lisa senses something.  

[GQLF]

3 hours ago, kerry said:

WTF??? This is so mean and unnecessary! I'd hope that Sarah was trying to send some signal to Lisa, but the narrative makes it clear that she is not.

Because Sarah believes that protecting her own secrets is far more important than getting help from others, she believes that being discovered by her mother and seeking help from others will make it worse because it means doing things behind her mother's back, which her controlling mother absolutely cannot tolerate.

[spark]

1 hour ago, GQLF said:

Because Sarah believes that protecting her own secrets is far more important than getting help from others, she believes that being discovered by her mother and seeking help from others will make it worse because it means doing things behind her mother's back, which her controlling mother absolutely cannot tolerate.

I don't think Sarah is protecting secrets.  She is protecting her safety.  Her mom spanks the holy hell out of Sarah just for talking like a normal person.  What do you think Mom will do if she catches Sarah speaking to one of the friends that led her astray?

I wonder what would have happened if Sarah chose to say: "Help me, Please!  My mom is holding me captive and forcing me to act like a baby."

[TBCuri]

1 hour ago, spark said:

I wonder what would have happened if Sarah chose to say: "Help me, Please!  My mom is holding me captive and forcing me to act like a baby."

Ha! Her mom's gonna raise hell on her obviously 😐😒

[Night Rain]

Sarah's situation just keeps getting worse overall. What will Christmas be like or worse yet once school starts again.

[spark]

1 hour ago, TBCuri said:

Ha! Her mom's gonna raise hell on her obviously 😐😒

There is a terrible book on Amazon about a girl who started wetting her pants and her mother forced her Pull-ups, and then put her diapers with mittens and made her use baby talk and kept her that way for years.   The whole family participated, including an evil cousin who secretly likes diapers herself.  In the end, the evil cousin ends up in a similar position.    I love Regression, but that story was terrible.

I don't know what Mom could do to Sarah that's any worse than what she has done and still stay true to her character.

[MinnesotaWriter]

11 hours ago, thedman said:

At this point I have to hope that Lisa's bullshit detector has gone haywire and that she will find a way to get the right adults involved and save her friend

That's a theory. She certainly has experience being in that situation herself.

10 hours ago, Nappygirl97 said:

I hope Lisa is smart enough to know what's going on and continue to help Sarah. 

Also although not ideal but with how she's been getting worse it's good to see Sarah get closer towards giving up fighting and accepting diapers. 

Hopefully Sarah can be saved by her friends and accept she needs diapers by the end of this. 

That's always a conflicting point in ABDL stories. Is success accepting diapers or overcoming the need for them?

7 hours ago, kerry said:

WTF??? This is so mean and unnecessary! I'd hope that Sarah was trying to send some signal to Lisa, but the narrative makes it clear that she is not.

Like others have pointed out, Sarah is panicking at the potential for any interaction between her mother and Lisa. I think I made it clear that she is saying what she is saying to drive Lisa off before her mom returns, not out of genuinely believing it.

7 hours ago, Jayme said:

Fear does some weird crap to people. Sarah fears what her mother would/could do to her.

Part fear of her mom, part embarrassment of her incontinence situation and punishment being revealed to Lisa, and partly just generally not being in the right mindset because of how she's been treated the past week. 

Sarah's been on a downward spiral for a little while now, so I wouldn't judge her decision-making too harshly.

4 hours ago, GQLF said:

Because Sarah believes that protecting her own secrets is far more important than getting help from others, she believes that being discovered by her mother and seeking help from others will make it worse because it means doing things behind her mother's back, which her controlling mother absolutely cannot tolerate.

That's another good way of looking at the situation.

3 hours ago, spark said:

I don't think Sarah is protecting secrets.  She is protecting her safety.  Her mom spanks the holy hell out of Sarah just for talking like a normal person.  What do you think Mom will do if she catches Sarah speaking to one of the friends that led her astray?

I wonder what would have happened if Sarah chose to say: "Help me, Please!  My mom is holding me captive and forcing me to act like a baby."

Could always do a series of alternative episodes a la the Marvel "What If" series.

1 hour ago, Night Rain said:

Sarah's situation just keeps getting worse overall. What will Christmas be like or worse yet once school starts again.

Next chapter takes place on Christmas Day. We'll have the answer for that then.

15 minutes ago, spark said:

There is a terrible book on Amazon about a girl who started wetting her pants and her mother forced her Pull-ups, and then put her diapers with mittens and made her use baby talk and kept her that way for years.   The whole family participated, including an evil cousin who secretly likes diapers herself.  In the end, the evil cousin ends up in a similar position.    I love Regression, but that story was terrible.

I don't know what Mom could do to Sarah that's any worse than what she has done and still stay true to her character.

I think I've read quite a few stories that follow that pattern. I can't say what else the mom has planned in store. Obviously, nothing good for Sarah, but there could still be some depths she could realistically sink to.

[AdultInnocence]

If she had rational thought, that comment of my mom is holding me hostage and treating me like a baby would be plausible. She feels though as if she deserves this punishment. I do think Lisa being through some things herself will see through the BS. It isn't a right away thing for intervention though. I only hope the tears Lisa had was in realization her friend is experiencing her own version of what Lisa did.

[spark]

49 minutes ago, MinnesotaWriter said:

I think I've read quite a few stories that follow that pattern. I can't say what else the mom has planned in store. Obviously, nothing good for Sarah, but there could still be some depths she could realistically sink to.

I know that whatever you will make mom fight to the end, but I don't believe you'll take us down this long route and turn Sarah into a pathetic character.   (Spoiler alert- but it's been a long time) Nobody wanted to see Jesse held captive by the skinheads, Walt die alone in the middle of nowhere and Saul working at a Cinnabon in Omaha.  Vince Gillingham managed to give the audience a satisfactory ending that we waited a long time for.  FTR- we've waited a long time for this one too.  In the end, I just don't want Sarah to be pathetic at the end.  Tragic will be ok, but pathetic won't be.