Settling In (Complete!)

[Sparkle Dust]

3 hours ago, Pudding said:

I'll start a kickstarter!  

You need a one shot first about punishing Cora and Mr Gladstone.  One week to a month with a dominatrix is fair!  Also take away Cora’s continence.  

[Wannatripbaby]

God, the feels! The complete and utter devastation on both sides! It's like Breaking The Girl all over again! ?

Also did you plan on having the conclusion fall on Christmas Day?

[Sarah Penguin]

[Sophie ♥]

4 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

God, the feels! The complete and utter devastation on both sides! It's like Breaking The Girl all over again! ?

Also did you plan on having the conclusion fall on Christmas Day?

I did not!  But it seems to be going that way.   (Maybe today instead??)

One chapter left, and an epilogue.  Hopefully people are satisfied with the way things turn out.  Cora's situation is sticky, as with most of our "villains". (Though I think a month with a dominatrix would be a good punishment!!  )

The next chapter - specifically the first half - is (in my opinion) one of the best things I've ever written about feeling little.  So I hope everyone enjoys it.

[littleTomás]

4 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

I did not!  But it seems to be going that way.   (Maybe today instead??)

One chapter left, and an epilogue.  Hopefully people are satisfied with the way things turn out.  Cora's situation is sticky, as with most of our "villains". (Though I think a month with a dominatrix would be a good punishment!!  )

The next chapter - specifically the first half - is (in my opinion) one of the best things I've ever written about feeling little.  So I hope everyone enjoys it.

That sounds like it will be one of the best Christmas presents ever, regardless of when it comes out!

[Sophie ♥]

Chapter LII

The rest of my night was spent crying.  Hating myself for being so stupid.  Being angry at myself for not noticing.  And sad that all the power to make me happy rested in the hands of another person.  But eight hours of crying had a strong silver lining: I slept like a baby.

In the morning, my bed was wet.  Cora's fault, I reminded myself.  Those tapes, or whatever Etta was talking about.  But at the same time, I knew this wet bed wasn't all Cora's fault.  It was mine too.  I knew this would happen, and I could have put a diaper on last night.  But I'd made my own decision.  The wrong decision.  And to make matters worse... I sort of missed my diapers.

I crawled out of bed and started to strip my sheets.  Sam was only my maid because we lived in this house, because she was employed by the Gladstones.  If I was going to leave this all behind, I needed to take care of my own wet sheets.  This seemed like a good trial run.

I threw all my sheets and my wet pajamas in the laundry hamper and went downstairs.  Three flights of stairs, to the washing machine.  Then up to the kitchen to find some cleaning products.  And back upstairs to clean the bed.  Back downstairs to make breakfast.

I hadn't cooked for myself in weeks.  The process was far more tedious than I remembered.  Waiting for toast.  Waiting for burners to heat up.  Waiting for food to cool.  Using three different utensils that would need to be washed.  A pan, a plate.  I ate in the quiet kitchen, wondering where everyone was.  Even the head maid wasn't around...

I switched my laundry to the dryer and decided not to go to work.  After all, it wasn't really my job, was it?  Prin probably knew all about this.  I'd have to be mad at her too.  I didn't have the energy to be mad today.

So I sat on the sofa in the living room and put on a TV show.  The Netflix app had been unlocked and I could access all the adult shows.  I put on something I used to watch.  A formulamatic crime drama.  But the thing is... TV is just TV.  A kids show and an adult show is basically the same thing.  You can anticipate what's going to happen nine times of ten, and the plots are only interesting twice a season.  So what's the point, anyway? I went downstairs and got my sheets out of the laundry, then went upstairs and made my bed.  As good a time as any to take a shower, I supposed.

Showers.  I hadn't had showers in a while.  It was all baths, recently.  Baths in a big tub.  Almost like swimming, or spending time in a hot tub.  Recreation, so to speak.  But showers felt like work.  Wash my hair.  Wash my body.  Shave, if I need to.  Efficient and boring.

After drying off and putting my pink hair up in a towel, I sat my naked ass down on the toilet for the first time in a week.  In less than a second, I started to pee.  The stream splashed loudly into the bowl and the heat I had come to expect against my skin never came.  And when I was done, I was done.  It was... the least eventful thing I'd ever done in my entire life.  Yeah, maybe wetting a diaper was gross and weird.  But it was an experience.  A gross, weird experience.  So which was better?

For lunch, I made a peanut butter sandwich and ate some carrot sticks.  For dinner, I ordered pizza from a Dominos down the street.  I shared my meals with the cast of Law and Order.

I never saw Cora.  I never saw Mr. Gladstone.  Even Sam and I only ran into each other a few times throughout the day.  She said she would look up some apartments online.

I snagged a bottle of rum from the liquor cabinet - which I should really pay for - and took it to my room.  Two hours later, I drunkenly pissed my bedsheets just to feel something.  To be reminded of a time I wasn't so fucking lonely...

Tuesday morning, I woke up at seven with a hangover and at ten without one.  By eleven, my disgust for wet sheets overruled my depression and I finally got out of bed.  This mattress was probably ruined...

I was in the middle of pouring myself a bowl of cereal when I caught Cora's eye.  She stood in the doorway to the kitchen, wearing her pajamas.

"Can we talk?" she asked.

"Okay..."

"I'd like to know..." Cora asked, quietly, not making direct eye contact. What was the point of trying to talk her out of it? She had moved on. If Cora was lucky, maybe she wouldn't call the police. Cora had sent the help home, and her and her husband had fought catastrophically. The house was starting to gather dust, things out of place stayed out of place. One sink dripped for days. It was like time had stopped in the Gladstone household. But not stopped as in paused; stopped as in failed. Like a house at the end of the universe, destined to sit and fall apart. A scene of a crime, really. “I’d like to know your intentions, I suppose."

"...I'm not sure yet," I muttered.  Suddenly, I didn't feel so hungry.  So I left the bowl of cereal on the counter and walked past Cora into the living room.  She followed behind me, until were were both sitting on opposite sides of the room.  Me on the couch, her in the chair.  This conversation felt too heavy for either of us.  Why were we even having it...?

"I miss you." Those three words broke a silence of some seconds that had stretched into feeling like years. And that's what this was all about, really; longing, wistful, aching... missing. Cora had pinned her life on a plan built on rotting foundations, and now her house had fallen into the mud below and she felt like drowning was the only way forward.

"...I miss you too," I admitted. "I... I don't think I ever realized before how unhappy I was... and now..." I crossed my arms and looked away.  None of this solved anything.  None of it made it any better...

"I hurt you. I broke my promise. You put your trust in me to make your decisions and to keep you safe. And I didn't - I kept you safe from everything outside these walls but let myself be the thing that hurt you instead. I can't imagine how... betrayed... you must be feeling. How disappointed in me."

I nodded.  She hit the nail right on the head. "I feel... lost," I muttered. "I feel like I never really knew anything.  And I faked it, you know?  And then you came along, and you didn't even care.  You told me I didn't have to fake it.  And I would be okay.  And now... now I don't know how to fake it anymore.  And I'm not okay..."

Helping her now felt like something that Cora had no right to do, but with what might be their final conversation, what did she have to lose? She owed Natalie so much for what she'd put her through.

"I wanted to help you the moment I first saw you,” Cora admitted, looking down at her hands. The room kept distance between them. "You never have to fake anything anymore, Natalie. There's so much.... so much love and passion inside of you, that I don't think you ever let anybody see before me. You'd be happy just to make me happy, you'd draw little doodles at work for me when I'd have to cancel lunch because things came up and you knew I was stressed." Minutia.

"You've got this fire inside of you, that anybody would be lucky to even know about, let alone get to see. And you showed me that flame, that... purity. And all you asked for in return... was that I never let the wind in. I could keep you safe from decisions, Nattie, I would for the rest of your life if I was given the chance. But all those decisions were doing was clouding what you always had inside of you - this perfect, burning, innocent, sweet... spark of love."

I couldn't cry.  I knew if I started to cry, I'd run to her.  I would need her.  And I couldn't need her.  So I closed my eyes and willed my tears away. "I know why you did what you did... I know you were scared and you just wanted to show me how great things could be, and if you didn't, maybe I'd never know.  And I appreciate it.  I do.  I just... I was so scared all the time.  And you did that to me.  I don't... I don't know how to... to make sense of that.  Tell me how to make sense of it..." Maybe she could.  Maybe she could just do that thing she did, where she always had the right answers, even if I didn't understand it.

"Your life was an impossible paradox, Nattie my darling. You were always so scared, that the only way to truly feel anything else was to surrender everything to someone else. But you were too scared to do that. Too scared to not be scared. Enter me. The woman who would show you by force what it could be like to not be scared,  to be happy and free. But the price to pay for breaking your paradox... is to lose you."

"Poetic," I laughed, wiping my eyes.  Fuck, please don't cry... "I don't know what I'm going to do without you... I don't want to live my life like yesterday.  I miss it, and I miss you, and..." I shook my head and wiped my eyes again.  No, no, no... "I'm scared of being scared again..."

"Then come to me, darling. Come to me of your own free will, of your own decision.” Cora's time to cry. "And I'll make sure it's the last decision you ever need to make. I'll be honest with you, and I'll have no fear about it. Please... please if you ache as badly as I do, if you long as deeply as I do... if..." She stopped short of it: saying anything else would be manipulative. "I love you."

I shook my head and tears slid down my cheeks.  Damnit, damnit, damnit... "Nuh uh... you make my decisions, remember?  You do..." So the answer was obvious, wasn't it?  I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"You decide what's best for me... and I'll believe you..."

It was an answer a long time coming, but one that she gave instantly; an answer she should have given all that time ago when they'd first met.

"I don't think you should be with me. That's what I'm deciding for you, darling." Her chest ached. There was no game here, no longer goal, no ending strategy. "You know how to be happy now, and there's no way I deserve to see that flower blossom, not after everything I did."

I shook my head and wiped new tears from my eyes. "No..."

"I'm so sorry," Cora cried.  

But I said it again, with more certainty. "No."

"Nattie--"

"No, no, no.  You said.  You said I can say no to any decision you make.  But that the consequences fall on me.  Remember?  Remember, you said that!  Well, I'm saying no, and I'm taking the consequences!" I fumbled to my feet and looked at Cora with all the conviction I could muster. "Now you gotta make me stop crying, that's what Mommies do..."

Cora dithered on this - mentally, at least - but her body acted far beyond the simple quibbles of emotional conflict. She stood up with almost inhuman speed and crossed the room in a half dozen steps, swapping Natalie up in her arms firmly and safely. She couldn't stand to see her cry, she couldn't, she could do it. Natalie was her baby girl, and... and that's what Mommies do.... they never let go. Ever.

I wrapped my arms around Mommy and laughed brightly, tears in my eyes.  Sure, she did some awful things.  And I've done awful things too.  And we're both still learning.  But as long as we're honest with each other, we can learn together.  And Mr. Glad-- er... and Daddy too.  And Sam.  We can all be happy, if we care enough, if we try hard enough.  If we want this badly enough.  And truly, I did.  I wanted this more than anything in the world.

When Cora finally set me back down, I looked up at her with wet eyes and a shy smile.

"My sheets are wet..."

 

Epilogue

"Nooo Cookie is training for the Olympics!  She can't have cake for breakfast!"

Immy puffed out her cheeks in annoyance. "But I made a whole cake!"

"Well, we gotta have breakfast, then cake for breakfast dessert."

"Ohh... what about pancakes, then cake?  So they are both cake?"

"Yes, uh huh, that's better."

Frannie shook her head with a sigh and went back to stacking her blocks.  The tower she had been working on for the better part of an hour was almost as tall as she was.  I kinda wanted to knock it down, but last time I did that Daddy gave me twenty spankings.  The memory sent a shiver up my spine and I blushed.

"Issit ready yet?" the boy asked, toddling to his feet with a monkey stuffie in his hand.

Frannie rolled her eyes. "Not yet, Sannie, I wanna make it taller!"

"But monkeys gotta climb buildings, it's in the rules!”

"Girls don't have to follow rules, Sannie. Rules is just for boys." Immy contributed, and Frannie crossed her arms.

"Hush up! You're gonna scare it..." Yes. Scare the block building. That was baby logic at its finest.

"Um... Nattie?" Immy asked curiously. "Whass'a diff'rence between pancakes and hotcakes if pancakes are also hot..."

"...umm..." But even big-girl brain couldn't figure that one out.  I thought they were the same thing?  So I answered it in a little-girl way. "Pancakes are made in a pan but hot cakes are made on hot sidewalks in the summer." I nodded.  Yes, that made sense...

"Nattie," a voice called from the doorway.  Mommy's voice.  I sprang to my feet and ran over to her, waddling from the wetness of my diaper.

"How is everyone doing?  Do you need juice boxes?  Remember - part of being a good hostess is asking if people need anything."

"Umm, I'll ask!" I wasn't used to being a hostess.  This was the first time I had a playdate at my house, in my new playroom.  It wasn't as big as Frannie's but I had at least as many toys for sure.  And everyone seemed to be enjoying it.

"Does anybody wan' juice boxes!" I shouted into the room.  And my question was met with a resounding "YES PLEASE" from all three Littles.  I turned back to Mommy. "Four juice boxes, please."

"Oh that's very good counting, honey!" Cora beamed and a voice in the distance asked if four was the number, to which the answer was shouted again by Natalie as 'four please!' like an overexcited child. Which she was.

Cora admired her work on the playroom, on her little girl, on everything: the way the paint looked, the choice of toys, and other things, too, like Sam - who arrived with four juice boxes on a fancy platter because she loved to ham up being a maid sometimes.

It wasn't all good, though - Eddie still struggled to become Little Etta ever since that day, despite Cora trying to talk things through, despite how well things turned out.

I passed out the juice boxes one by one to my friends and went back to playing Breakfasts with Immy.  I watched Frannie add a block to her tower taller than her head, which meant she had to lift her arms and show off her diaper.  I giggled to myself; it was always so funny to me how Frannie was even more self-conscious about her diapers than I was.  And Hana would put her in short dresses some days just to tease her.

I wondered idly if Frannie had a job.  Or Immy, for that matter.  I had never asked, and they never asked me.  I didn't work as an office manager anymore, but I spent two afternoons at the office as Daddy's assistant.  Mostly, he liked to boss me around his office and give me impossible chores.  And he had a way of saying stuff in ways that would make me blush, even the most innocuous things!  I wasn't sure I even got paid for the position, to be honest... I hadn't thought about money in forever.

I sipped my juice box and my tummy gurgled uncomfortably.  I'd been dealing with cramps all morning, and I was finally through fighting it.  I bent forward, on my hands and knees, and took a deep breath.  With a push, the seat of my diaper bulged outward and filled the space between my legs.  Frannie and Sannie watched dumbfounded, but Immy didn't have a care in the world.  And when I was done, my bangs were damp with sweat and the diaper was heavy on my hips.  I smiled at Frannie and she shook her head in disbelief.  That was the first time I'd done something like that in front of them...

I wondered if I should go find Mommy, but... well, she'd check on me sooner or later.  She'd call me over, turn me around, and pull back the waist band of my diaper like she did every few hours.  And when she did, she would take me away for a proper changing.

Until then, I didn't mind so much.  After all, each use of a diaper was another event, another experience.  And even if it was gross and weird, it was a million times more interesting than using the toilet!  So I sat down on my messy butt, prompting Immy to hold her nose, and went back to playing.

"You don't deserve her, you know,” Sam reminded Cora.

Cora smiled from her seat in the living room, still in eye-line of the playroom but out of earshot. "I know, Sammie, and I'll always know that - she's a gift that I don't deserve. But... she deserves to be happy, and I make her happy, so she deserves me. I'll just count my lucky stars and be grateful every single night I get to put her to bed. What happened is in the past, and I'll make sure it stays a distant memory; just kept as a secret."

Sam thought for a second, and then nodded. "You really do love her." She didn't sound venomous, not anymore, she seemed content enough to know that nobody had ever worked harder to make up for a mistake than Cora, and that had to count for something.

Cora nodded in agreement and smiled, before asking:

"What about you, Sammie? Are you ready to tell Nattie your new secret?"

[End]

----------------

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[Sparkle Dust]

Ooooh!! 
sequel cliffhanger!!  Can’t wait for your next book.  

[thedman]

Wow!!! So much love for this story. Such a wonderful ending. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

[Sarah Penguin]

Was fun think Sam is prolly hamming up maidstuff on the stage *nodsnods*

[Infernum]

This has been a roller-coaster of emotions. You sure know how to make a story tug on the heartstrings. 

[the diaper mike]

Awesome this could be an interesting sequel coming up

[Silver]

That cliffhanger....

What's going on with Sam? Please don't let it be just a tease!

[littleTomás]

10 hours ago, Sophie ♥ said:

"What about you, Sammie? Are you ready to tell Nattie your new secret?"

Yes! I can’t wait for the sequel ?

Fantastic story. Truly from end-to-end you kept me guessing and waiting with eager anticipation for the next chapter. I agree with Sam, Cora didn’t deserve Natalie and she could have done better for herself. However, I respect Natalie’s decision and understand it. It’s tough out there as a little, and Natalie found someone who made her happy. Granted, that relationship isn’t without challenges, but no relationship is ever conflict-free. I’m glad she’s made the best of things.

Congratulations on another fantastic story,

Little Tomás

[Wannatripbaby]

Wow. Just... Mmm! An absolute astonishing chapter!

The beginning monologue really set a tone for the life we didn't get to see: the "normal" Nattie. The Nattie without love. The hell worse than any Cora could put her through.

Then the climax! The confrontation between Cora and Nattie! I wasn't sure how you'd do it; how you'd salvage their relationship. But you did it in a way that's both believable while also having a "storybook ending" kind of feel.

The Epilogue was absolutely adorable too. And that teaser at the end! Is it possible we'll get to see all this play out again from Sam's POV? And if so, we'll get to see her diapering the maid like she mentioned!!! XD I don't know if you have immediate plans to continue this, if you have other projects you wanna do first, or if you really don't have plans and just left it open in case you get an idea later. It's pretty clear there's plenty of interest there.

Just wow. Bravo. V stars ☆☆☆☆☆

[Mugi]

Great Story! I wonder what Sam's secret is  

[Sophie ♥]

3 hours ago, Wannatripbaby said:

Is it possible we'll get to see all this play out again from Sam's POV? And if so, we'll get to see her diapering the maid like she mentioned!!! XD I don't know if you have immediate plans to continue this, if you have other projects you wanna do first, or if you really don't have plans and just left it open in case you get an idea later. It's pretty clear there's plenty of interest there.

The final line was a throw-away from Pudding.  I don't /THINK/ she had anything specific in mind, but she's a constant surprise to me.  This is definitely a story that a sequel might be fun to write, especially with some of the complications of Cora and Nattie's relationship.  And I'd love to introduce Ando into the mix a bit more.  But as for now, the idea is just an idea.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SUCH KIND WORDS!!!  

[Scarlet]

Loved the end, as you know. I didn't like Cora but I understood her and despite what she did, I wanted to see a happy end. And I think that Nattalie taking control of her choices and choosing to give them up was amazing, well the denial of Cora choice mainly, but that entire sequence was awesome. I've been waiting for the "no" to be used since the start when the red flags started appearing.

 

So, now that we see Santory Little self. I'm guessing that the dynamic was Etta big self was a Daddy to Santory Little Self while Santroy was Mommy to Etta Little self. Interesting dynamic.

 

I loved how you showed the difference in attitude by the contrast of how dismissive she was of messing her diaper and how it referenced how dull the toilet seemed in comparison. It really shows how far she has come. Given the fact that she has become comfortable enough with messing to just do it and sit on it without a care but that was her first time hosting a playdate. I'm guessing the Epilogue is only like 2-3 months after the ending chapter?

[Sophie ♥]

2 hours ago, Scarlet said:

I'm guessing the Epilogue is only like 2-3 months after the ending chapter?

Yep!  I think it's about a month, actually?   

[Scarlet]

43 minutes ago, Sophie ♥ said:

Yep!  I think it's about a month, actually?   

Whoah! Natalie started making Stinkies fast! I bet Cora was thrilled about that.??. Don't think Sam was very enthusiastic about it though.????

 

Kinda jelly, should've informed me of the job offer. I would've loved to have had an "interview" with Cora.??. No hypnotic tapes needed.... maybe.

[Emily Ruby Rose]

this was an amazing story and i want more soooo bad. it so great i loved it alot ❤️

[bobindiapers]

What a great story, I read it from start to finish over the last couple of days and really enjoyed it.  Your characters are always so well developed and I like that you raised the issue of consent rather than just ignoring it like in most AB stories.

When reading the epilogue, I'm torn between two thoughts about Sam's "new secret". The first is the obvious AB one, that Sam has decided to become Natalie's sister and join her in diapers. The other direction my mind went was back to chapter 11: 

"You know, my dear, I had my doubts about the friend, but I do think Samatha has a promising future in servitude, don't you? You should consider her, should your future plans to acclimate Nattie to a wet nurse lifestyle ever come to pass." 

Thanks for all hard work you put into your stories, every one is incredible.

Happy New Year,

Bob

[CDfm]

I really don’t like to pull up a story that’s had no comments in 4 months but I totally missed this story as it was being written. I didn’t even catch it on Patron. This story took you two in another direction, one where there it seemed to be so very full of love. Sure Cora did manipulate Nattie some but there always seemed to have love as a motivation for her actions. Most of your stories seem to have unexpected twists in them. As I was reading this I just knew it was going to warm my heart all the way through.  I can’t begin to tell you how much I enjoyed and appreciated this story. 

[Sophie ♥]

10 hours ago, CDfm said:

I can’t begin to tell you how much I enjoyed and appreciated this story. 

AWWWW  I'm glad it made you feel something so nice!

10 hours ago, CDfm said:

I really don’t like to pull up a story that’s had no comments in 4 months

Hey, this helps new readers find it too!  So don't feel bad.  

[Lanthey]

Great story, made me cry ?

[LiL Marc]

This is a amazing storie ?
Thank you!